This is the time of year that parents of young adults look forward to.  College kids are coming home for several weeks to celebrate the holidays and spend quality time with the family.  Parents are often envisioning a warm welcome home that will include hearing about all of the exciting things that are happening.

Sadly, this is not the scene that will play out in many households in the next several weeks.  Some parents will see signs that something is not quite right.  Weight loss or gain, bad attitude, defiance and most often; a new sense of entitlement that did not exist before.

If you are concerned about your young adult and  need help in determining if they are suffering from depression, anxiety, substance abuse or any other issue that may be negatively affecting your family, call an Educational Consultant at Bodin.

We can help.  Check us out on the web @ www.thebodingroup.com or call 800-874-2124.

The monthly Santa Cruz Women Homeowners Network meeting was attended with much enthusiasm. New affiliates are joining and we are planning our next community outreach program for the month of February. Program and agenda to be announced soon.

Karen Calcagno with Advantage Family Business Center in Soquel was visiting but is looking to join.  She is a counselor and family systems coach utilizing peaceful estate settlement. 

Linda Murphy, Mortgage Broker with Network Mortgage stated there are new GFE rules effective January 1, 2010. Will be easier to read and more in alignment with the HUD1. Separate licenses will be required for all lenders in July of 2010. Rates are for a fixed 15 year loan are at 4.25%. Good time to refinance with proper income documentation, good equity and high credit score. 

Teresa Ronald, Certified Financial Planner predicted inflation to decrease to 1%, economy appears poised for solid growth in the coming quarters. GDP to rise at a a 3.5% pace in the first year of recovery. 

Jeannie Martin, Insurance Broker who handles E&O, business owner, workman’s comp, personal, home, auto and life insurance. Sees a trend as homeowners look to lower their insurance due to the market shift but suggests everyone look at rebuilding costs vs market value as they have not declined. Also notes that rates are higher for vacant homes. 

Kathleen Richard, Portola Property Management advised us of the new Red Flag Rule, effective 11/1/09. States that a credit reports cannot be given to a renter even though they order and pay for them. Provides additional credit protection to consumers. New policies and procedures for owners that live our of state but have rentals in Ca are now paying 7% withholding. Rents locally have stabilized after seeing a 10-20% decline in the last year. 

Kathleen Bodmer, Attorney does estate planning and business transaction law.  She is busy with year end activities, including people exercising their $13,000 annual gift tax exclusion, as well as forming new businesses and closing others in time for the 12/31/09 deadline to save tax filings and additional fees. 

Andrea Robinson, Interior and  Systems Designer is a professional organizer, trained life coach, empowering people to improve their environment. 

Micah Fox, Business Builder and Coach helps individuals, teams and businesses build effective teams, staffing and managers. 

Carol VanAusdal, Realtor with Keller Williams Realty announced the extension of $8000 credit for first time homebuyers and addition of $6500 tax credit for move-up buyers if they meet certain criteria. Market is improving. Median price is higher than since August 2008 at $550,000. Inventory at all time low down 35% from one year ago.  Many homeowners experiencing troubles paying their mortgages. Some are trying loan modifications and being subjected to fraud. Paying upwards of $6000 for nothing in return. Banks are reaching out to homeowners for free.

In the spirit of being thankful, I wanted to post a recent article that Miriam Bodin wrote in preparation for our 30th celebration. Read and enjoy.  We at Bodin wish everyone a happy Thanksgiving!

When I decided to open a practice in educational consulting back in 1979, there were very few people doing this work.  In fact “the work” back then consisted of helping families and students to find the “right fit” for prep school, day school, or college.  I was such a consultant until I began to visit and learn about the emerging world of “special needs” schools and programs.   I learned how limiting it was to just provide names of schools and programs to families and the reassurance that someone had investigated those schools and programs.

These families needed more education about the world of residential schools, in-depth guidance, strategic planning and collaboration on an ongoing basis if their child was to be sent from home to residential treatment.   Put another way, the families with the most complicated, troubling, at-risk children really needed sophisticated help, not just “a list.”

Thus, when Douglas Bodin joined me in 1991, a veritable sea change took place and we began our journey of growing our team of professionals who already had education, training and experience in the fields in which we were increasingly immersed.

We grew our company with the primary focus of serving families who needed our help to develop a plan to assist their youngsters.   We stopped being placement consultants and shifted to being members of a professional team that often consisted of the parents, the child and the professionals already working with the family.  If the child was then “placed,” professionals serving the child (and parents) in the special school or treatment program were added to the team.   Our mission statement says it all:
To provide the most valuable and comprehensive assessment and planning services for the educational and therapeutic needs of children, young adults and their families.

What has this journey meant to me?   I am grateful for whatever passion and spirit of adventure prompted me to embark on this career path.   It has provided me with:  1) opportunities to interact with parents (often heroic in their efforts to help their kids); 2) connection and interaction with fantastically humane, intelligent, and creative professionals both in the local community and in treatment centers and schools all over the country; 3) the establishment of a team here at Bodin of wonderful hard working and committed professionals who genuinely care about their work and their families; and 4) a chance to observe my own son devote himself to helping others.

At the risk of sounding sappy, but within the 30 seconds:   No one could be luckier than I. I come to work every day knowing that I have the chance to help someone or someone’s kid have a better chance.   Is there anything sweeter than this to say about one’s life?

Wow, Danielle Herb  (check out her video) offers an amazing program for kids with ADD/ADHD as well as helping kids overcome their fears.  Since I am in Florida, I am always asked about programs here and honestly, there are not that many.  Well, not many in my opinion – if you know my story and my organization, I am a bit on the picky side.

Attention Children (Aged 10-16) With ADHD/ADD:

Horse Kid Scholarship 2009 for Danielle Herb’s ADHD Horse

Level 1 Master Class 21st – 28th June 2009- Visit http://www.adhdkidsscholarship.com/

Start Your Summer In Florida With Danielle Herb, The ADHD/ADD Natural Horsemanship Coach

WHAT: The ADHD Horse Level 1 Master Class is an exciting new weeklong program developed by Danielle Herb and Drop Your Reins to help you manage your ADD/ADHD using natural techniques and without the need for prescription drugs.

WHO: Children Diagnosed with ADHD/ADD Aged 10-16

WHEN: June 21-28, 2009

WHERE: North Florida (Location to be announced)

By taking part in this Master Class you will discover:

• How to manage energy in Positive and Peaceful ways by allowing the horse to mirror you.
• How to improve your grades by developing a natural ability to focus.
• How to easily plan and manage your diet for natural, positive affects.

This is an article many parents can not only relate to but most likely lived through years ago.  Generations of teens may change, but broken hearts are always extremely painful and can cause emotional stress and grief within your adolescent.  In many situations, a broken leg is less painful than a broken heart.

Source: MoreForKids.info (TM)

Parenting Teens: Breakups and Broken Heart

By Stephanie Partridge

The moment I heard my daughter’s voice on the other side of my bedroom door, I knew something was wrong. She knocked, waking me. I looked at the clock: 12 am. “Mom,” She said, “I need to talk to you.” Her voice was strained, tight. I could tell that she was struggling to keep it together. Something was wrong. I was out of bed in a heartbeat.

“What’s up?” I asked as I opened the door. Her face did not reveal much, but I could see she was upset. Her trembling hand matched her trembling voice as she thrust a cell phone at me.

“Look.” She said.

It took me a moment to process what I was seeing, a text from someone to someone asking for nude photos and promising nude photos in return. My first reaction was that she had encountered some pervert somewhere and he was soliciting her. My mind began forming a plan of action. I wanted to throttle the creep, then it hit me. I KNEW this number, the sender of the text message. I also realized that this was not her phone, but her friend’s cell. The picture slowly came into focus. My daughter’s boyfriend had sent this text to her friend! I felt the small hairs on the back of my neck bristle as the realization hit me. The boy was a player and my daughter was heartbroken.

What had started out as a joke, two teenage girls sending a random message to my daughter’s boyfriend had turned into major drama. A joke had turned into a tragedy. He had responded in a way that neither girl expected. At that midnight hour, the boyfriend had realized his blunder and come over to our house, only to be confronted by my son (also my daughter’s best friend and strongest ally) who was not too happy that his sister was hurt by this guy.

Major drama in our house that night.

In all, it came out that he was “talking” to lots of girls and that he had been cheating on my daughter from the beginning. As we all stood in my kitchen that Thursday night (the next day was a holiday for the kids, not for me) my daughter showed incredible strength and wisdom as she calmly confronted the boy and told him she wanted nothing to do with him ever again. However, although she was the one to break it off, she had still been betrayed. I wanted so badly to take those hurt feelings away from her, to protect her. But life just doesn’t work that way.

Broken hearts are a part of growing up and the teen years tend to be particularly prone to them. As parents, we watch our children struggle with the pain of growing up, the heartache of breakups and betrayals, and we wish that we could offer our children a magical pill that would rid them of heartbreak forever. But there is no such pill and even if there was, we can’t realistically shield our children from the hurts of the world. There is growth in pain and much like the steel of the sword becoming forged in the fire, we become stronger, smarter and wiser when we are faced with difficult times. To shield our children from this valuable and necessary process would be a disservice to them.

So, if we can’t or shouldn’t protect and shield our children from heartache, what can we do? Well, this is actually a time when your child needs not only a parent, but a friend as well. You can help to soothe the hurt, but also guide them through the growth process, help them learn the lessons that lie within. This is a delicate process, but not only will it help your child recover quicker, it will also draw them closer to you, improving your relationship with them.
Remember how it feels.
Think about when you were a teen and had your heart broken. At the time you felt as if your world was ending. Remember that time, the feelings that you had, the emptiness, frustration and hopelessness. Recall the physical reactions as well as your emotional ones. This will put you in the right place to relate to your child. Empathy is a powerful tool when you are reaching out to help your child.

Recognize that teens deal with pain in different ways.
Your teen may not deal with the pain in the same way that you deal with pain, or even the same way that their siblings deal with it. They may isolate themselves and cry, or they may act as if nothing is wrong and try to ignore it. It is not your place to dictate to them the “right” way to handle grief and pain. You can not try to mold them into the image you feel comfortable handling, you must meet them on their terms. By doing so, you are sending them the message that you seem them as an individual, you respect them and you accept them for who they are.

NEVER say “I Told you So.”
As a parent, you may be inclined to rant about the perpetrator of the pain, the heartbreaker. You may feel like saying, “I TOLD you that he was not good!” or “I warned you that she was going to do this!” These types of statements are not at all productive and will only serve to make your teen feel more like a failure while driving them further away from you.

Acknowledge that you may not be the hero this time.
As a parent, you instinctively want to take away the pain, to be the hero. However, you can’t always be the hero in your teen’s life. It is important that at this time you are there for you teen, but don’t force your way in. Keep yourself available and accessible, talking to your teen and, more importantly, listening, but don’t be get your feelings hurt when they reach out to their peers instead of you.

Encourage them to reach out for support. Friends are great for easing the pain of heartbreak. Encourage your child to establish a good support system and maintain it, even while in a relationship. Many people, both adults and teens, will neglect their friendships when in a relationship. This is a big mistake because we all need both friend relationships and romantic ones. Establishing this in your child early on will help them build and maintain a solid support system that extends beyond the family unit. Then, when heartbreak happens, you can encourage them to reach out into that support system and begin the healing process.

Listen without judgment.
Sometimes is it best to just shut up and listen. This is not the time to be critical or to point out all the mistakes that you teen made. This is not the time to tell you teen that they should have never gone out with the person. It isn’t even really the time to tell your teen that the pain will pass and they will feel better. These types of statements do not help at this time. Instead, ask questions, particularly those that encourage your teen to probe deeper into introspection. Ask questions like, “How do you think you can avoid this next time?” If they say there won’t be a next time, just say OK. Don’t argue or patronize or cajole. Just move on. Ask them what they learned, but don’t judge the answers. Just let them talk, regardless of how unrealistic the lessons seem. The true lessons are being learned and absorbed, don’t worry.

Know when it is time to get help.
Heartbreak is a part of life. You can’t get around it, can’t avoid it. We all have had our hearts broken, and we all got over it. However, if your teen seems particularly depressed and those feelings last for more than two weeks, it may be time to seek professional help. If you note a marked change in appetite, sleeping habits, performance at school, a disinterest in activities that they normally find enjoyable or a withdrawal from their friends, then you may need to intervene. A few days of this behavior, or even a week, is fairly normal, but if it is prolonged (more than two weeks) or is accompanied by thoughts of suicide or a preoccupation with death, you need to step in and get them help.

You are a parent, but you are only human. You don’t always have all the answers and you can’t always cure all the hurts. And you know what? It’s OK.

Biography
Stephanie Partridge is a freelance writer and photographer as well as a FOIA analyst for a federal agency in Washington, D.C. She is a single mom to Jeffery, 19; Micah Elizabeth, 17 and Benjamin, 15. She is also the author of the ebook, “Diet is a Dirty Word.”

Over the years,  the Bodin name became synonymous with placement.  This is an incorrect label given that much of our work is planning.  Planning for success at home.  We utilize our clinically trained Educational Consultants, local resources  and creative planning to develop a wrap-around plan individually catered to the needs of the particular student.

Of course, this is not to say that placement does not become necessary in some cases.  Our extensive travel and knowledge of the many different programs, schools and levels of care make us a valuable resource in those cases.  Each year, we visit and evaluate over 100 schools and programs around the country.  We also work hard to stay connected to local schools and resources as well.

For more information visit www.thebodingroup.com

Advanced Coaching Skills for Professionals Workshop

Date:           Feb 18, 2009, Feb 19, 2009, Mar 16, 2009
Venue:         Copenhagen, Denmark | Kent, United Kingdom

‘Professionals’ come in all shapes and sizes, be they teachers, social workers, home/school/community co-ordinators, youth workers, parenting practitioners, clergy etc.

You’ve worked hard and enjoyed the empathy; rapport and trust you’ve created and perhaps you need a little help in moving them to the next stage. This is where coaching comes in; coaching skills empower those you work with to take responsibility for the changes they want in their lives. However, you may find that when they aren’t paying for your service it is more challenging to hold them accountable for keeping up their commitment and motivation.

This is where Develop Your Child has been operating in the last 6 years, perfecting and honing a range of advanced coaching and emotional literacy techniques to successfully empower all sorts of people including teenage parents, disaffected children and hard to reach families. That is not to say we don’t have some drop out, but what we do have is a huge number of children and adults creating their own transformations within their lives. Taking responsibility for themselves, making better life choices, changing family relationships and Mum’s finding their voice.

Coaching takes over where counselling stops. Coaching is focused on the future and not the past. Coaches recognise their clients’ potential and call forth their power, rather than concentrating on something to fix. Coaches support the individual’s ability to find the answer within by asking powerful, creative questions. Then the magic – creating a success strategy with sustainability built in.

We start by helping them see they are not failures and doomed to a second rate existence, they go on to appreciate that they can manage their feelings, emotions and behaviour, then life starts to open up for them.

Our core curriculum includes:

1. Use of the Power of Thought – how our thoughts, feelings and emotions affect us
2. Understand how we can manage our behaviour and create our own reality
3. Practice success breeds success
4. Differentiate between influence verses control and choice verses responsibility
5. Practice Levels of Listening, how we can trust our instincts/intuition etc
6. Create SMART (Specific Measurable Achievable Realistic Tangible/Timed) goals
7. Create a sustainability strategy

There are millions of people who support children and families both in the public and private sector. Every single one of you can easily learn these leading edge techniques, and become so much more effective in your role.

You’ve already done the hard part in creating your unique relationship, now is the time to take the next step. Our unique approach, based on advanced coaching and emotional literacy techniques allows our clients to trust their instincts.

More Details…..

Gen. Barry McCaffrey and Brenda Loringer-Bell of Bodin

I attended the “Recovery Takes Flight” celebration in Marin County last week to honor the many who have battled addiction, sought treatment and had the opportunity to thrive in recovery from addiction. Myself included.

Former US Drug Czar and Retired Four-Star General Barry McCaffrey was there and reminded the audience and media that ” Twenty on million Americans need but do not receive treatment for illicit drug or alcohol problems according to the numbers form HHS; less than three million receive treatment. In California, 3.1 million need but do not receive treatment; less than 200,000 are treated. We have a huge treatment gap.”

While I could not find data to show out those numbers, how many are adolescents and young adults, it is fair to assume that at Bodin, we have the opportunity and obligation to every family we see to be aware of the current trends in drug abuse and addiction. This includes keeping informed about the current drugs of abuse, recent studies, options for treatment and employing Educational Consultants who have extensive experience in addiction treatment.

I could go on and on, but the message is this…recovery happens and it feels really good to be a part of it.

Douglas Bodin, CEO

www.thebodingroup.com

http://admittingmistakesasaparent.blogspot.com/

Dear Sue—

That’s a fantastic reminder to desperate parents of the risks associated with getting on the internet. Predatory practices by otherwise reputable organizations, let alone those by the disreputable ones, are outrageously commonplace. As an Educational Consultant I also agree almost entirely with your assessment of educational consultants! My firm is the largest in the country, employing almost exclusively Masters and Ph.D. – level, experienced professionals to act as the guides and planners for families in crisis. It’s the best of both worlds, in my opinion. As trained therapists, they understand the intricacies and nuances of often significantly clinical issues. But as a team of 15, constantly traveling around the country visiting and evaluating hundreds of programs, we bring a level of knowledge and on-the-ground experience that is unmatched. Furthermore, with a diversity of clinical experiences and backgrounds, our team approach allows each consultant to collaborate and derive support and guidance from other members of the team on a regular and routine basis. I further agree that consulting with your therapist is an important component of the process. We get most of our referrals from therapists who may recognize the possible need for a residential placement but rely on our travel, experience and expertise to help determine its necessity and location. Finally, with regard to the politics, I believe you are unfortunately correct that individual practitioners are limited in the number of programs with which they can remain conversant. They have their “favorites” that are often based on factors unrelated to the specific needs of a particular child. And while Wilderness programs are often an extraordinary first step as a preparatory and evaluative tool, they aren’t for everyone. Adhering rigidly to the best interests of the child, advocating for his or her needs and remaining involved throughout placement(s), guiding a family and problem-solving at every step is an essential recipe for successful outcomes. Being more than mere “matchmakers” is what has contributed to our success and growth for 30 years.

]]> http://thebodingroupblog.wordpress.com/2008/08/26/help-for-your-teen/ Tue, 26 Aug 2008 21:34:46 +0000 brenda321 http://thebodingroupblog.wordpress.com/2008/08/26/help-for-your-teen/

If you are a parent of a struggling teen you may be searching for answers. At Bodin, we firmly believe that there are no general answers to the difficulties families and teens are struggling with. There is not one or even one hundred schools that can solve the problem. Every single family we see is different and every plan we develop is different, too.

The Educational Consultants at Bodin are available to assist families who need help. Our expertise is in creating unique and clinically appropriate plans for success. Our educational consultants travel throughout the U.S. and abroad to evaluate schools and programs. We work hard to stay connected to many local resources within each community we work in so that every plan is developed to support not just the student, but the entire family system.

If you have a struggling teen, please check out www.thebodingroup.com or call 800-874-2124

Most people would use that term to describe the kid down the street known to have troubles with the law or who has a history of using alcohol or pot. For the Educational Consultants at Bodin, we see troubled teens who do fit the typical idea of a troubled teen, but who are not thriving for many reasons other than substance use and troubles with the law. We work with adolescents, young adults and families who need guidance developing appropriate and individualized plans for academic and emotional growth. We have developed relationships with schools, programs and individual resources throughout the country in order to ensure that a plan we create will be successful. Much of our work is with the families in order to maintain the plan and not fall prey to the common parenting pitfalls that can interrupt or setback these plans.

If you think you have a troubled teen and would like to speak to a consultant, call 800-874-2124

The start of new school year is usually an exciting time, but if you have troubled teen or a struggling teen, you may be approaching this time with a high level of anxiety about what this year will bring. Often, parents that call Bodin looking for help from an Educational Consultant have previously thought about calling, but put it off hoping things would get better. That is perfectly fine, there is help for you and your student when you are ready. The plans that our consultants put together are based solely on the individual student and family needs. Whether it’s researching local private school options for a student struggling with learning issues or residential options for a student with a more complex set of issues, we can help.

Check out www.thebodingroup.com or call 800-874-2124 to speak to someone today.

Without going into the great detail that many recent articles have on whether or not to drug test your adolescent or young adult, let me just say; if this is an issue in your home, you may need to start thinking about outside intervention and assessment. Educate yourself about drugs of abuse and the options available should you decide to seek help for your family. There are so many options and so many underlying issues that need to be addressed when a young person begins using substances. An Educational Consultant can educate you and help you. Whether it’s early intervention through parent coaching or a crisis intervention through treatment planning, the Educational Consultants at Bodin have experience, knowledge and compassion and are ready to help today!

Check out www.thebodingroup.com or call 800-874-2124

” When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around, but when I got to be twenty-one I was astonished at how much he had learned in seven years” – Mark Twain

Issues of parenting struggling teens or troubled teens are not new, but the stakes are higher. Today, our children face issues of drugs and alcohol, anxiety, depression and other mental health crisis that can impede on the academic process and cause chaos in the home.

At Bodin, our Educational Consultants are skilled in working with families who are struggling and help to create treatment plans that confront and treat the issues within the entire family system. To learn more check out our website at www.thebodingroup.com or call 800-874-2124.

The next level of care can be termed learning specific or specialty boarding schools and programs. These offer specific support for, but not limited to, learning differences and social skills challenges. Community based schools and programs are the next level of care and provide a supportive and structured environment for students who may need semi-therapeutic support. The next level of care is therapeutic boarding/emotional growth boarding schools and programs. These guide students through a set curriculum of skills often addressing communication, honesty, integrity, leadership, relationships, etc. Some of these may offer individual therapy, group and family support but these components are not present at all. Clinical boarding schools and programs offer the next level of care. These offer individual therapy as well as group therapy and family support. The highest level of care, outside of hospitalization, is called residential treatment. Residential treatment centers offer weekly or more individual therapy, multiple options for group therapy as well as family support and workshops. Residential assessment programs do not have a specific place on the residential care continuum. These assessment programs can be used as a first step intervention to determine the level of care necessary for students and families. Assessment programs can also be recommended at any point during an intervention to gather a more comprehensive understanding of a student’s presenting issues.

Most residential schools and programs provide academics. Programs range from traditional college prep classrooms to individual academic plans. Tuition for residential schools and programs increase as the clinical support required increases. The length of stay at schools and programs is based on the components of the program as well as the student’s presenting issues.

The decision to engage in a residential intervention can be one of the most important decisions a family will make for their children. Speaking to an Educational Consultant is an investment in the best possible chance for success in a residential school or program that meets a young person’s needs academically, socially, and emotionally.

To speak with an Educational Consultant and learn more about Educational Consulting at Bodin, please call 800-874-2124 or visit www.thebodingroup.com.

]]> http://thebodingroupblog.wordpress.com/2008/07/07/help-for-troubled-and-struggling-teens-continued/ Mon, 07 Jul 2008 22:06:13 +0000 brenda321 http://thebodingroupblog.wordpress.com/2008/07/07/help-for-troubled-and-struggling-teens-continued/

Residential schools and programs exist to support students and families with a variety of presenting issues. The presenting issues often determine the level of care that students and families will need as they make decisions about residential interventions.

Residential interventions can be short-term or long-term. The length of stay of residential interventions is also determined by the presenting issues of the student and family.

The residential continuum of care is most easily understood by looking at it from left to right. On the left we start with traditional residential interventions such as college preparatory boarding schools, short-term non-therapeutic programs and camps and study abroad programs. These traditional residential interventions do not typically provide therapeutic support.

more to come…

If you need help, please call and Educational Consultant at Bodin, 800-874-2124

Exploring residential treatment options can be very overwhelming for parents. At Bodin, we believe it is essential to educate families about appropriate treatment options, both local and residential, that exist for their children. With this information families have the knowledge to seek support from educational consultants as well as other professionals in their community.

Over the next several days I will write about options on the residential continuum, come back and check it or call and Educational Consultant at Bodin today.  800-874-2124 www.thebodingroup.com

There is no inexpensive way to access the many fabulous treatment options that exist for troubled teens or families in crisis. At Bodin, we believe that by hiring an Educational Consultant you are adding value and potentially reducing the overall cost of treatment. Check out our website www.thebodingroup.com or call 800-874-2124 to hear more about Educational Consulting.