Ming-Ming and Blue Boy

It starts when I was a 2 week old baby back in 1982 and my Nana gave me two Fisher Price rag dolls.  They came with names, which I believe, were Lolly and Cholly.  But my parents in their unimagined wisdom called these dolls Pink Girl and Blue Boy.  Blue Boy’s name stuck, but I had other ideas for Pink Girl.  My first word was not ‘Dada’ or ‘Mama’ but was in fact whilst reaching for the pink doll (which surprisingly for me was my instant favourite). I called her, Ming-Ming.  And that is the name that stuck with her.  My Ming-Ming went everywhere with me.  And I do mean everywhere.  She was washed, re-stuffed, had more trips to the dolly hospital than I care to mention.  When she was so old and tattered and her face so thin that she couldn’t be re-stuffed or repaired any longer, I wrapped her in a blue baby blanket and kept her on my bed.  It wasn’t until I was 27 that I let her go and that was with a heavy heart.

Ming-Ming Panda

It hurt so much to let her go that My beautiful AH provided me with a replacement, also called Ming.  A Panda Bear beanie baby who at the age of 30, I’m unashamed to say is in my right hand every night when I fall asleep.  Ming-Ming the second as the bear is known, is a constant comfort and a reminder that my beautiful fiancée knew how much it hurt to say goodbye to the original and wanted to ease that pain. I love my Ming-Ming the second as much as I love the original.  Both presents came with love.

Ming the Merciless

One of my favourite films growing up was Flash Gordon.  Yes it’s insanely cheesy and yes it definitely belongs in the Cult Classics.  But for me the attraction to the film was the character, Ming the Merciless.  I was a child who grew up watching Disney films and rooting for the bad guy, even Maleficent who scared me to death, so it doesn’t surprise me that I was insanely enraptured by this particular bad guy.  I wanted to know why he had become evil, what had caused him to follow this path, and besides, that ring gave him wicked powers.  And most of the heroes and heroines were boring and insipid.

Mulan

That was until I found the delights of Disney’s Mulan.  Here was a heroine I adored.  She was kick-ass and dressed like a boy (the way I wanted to be allowed to dress). She cut her hair off, taught the men how to cope and she saved her country.  Getting the guy was a by-product, not a necessity of her life and she was amazing. Mulan was who I wanted to be.  Long before the days of understanding my gender identity, Mulan was setting the grade I wanted to live up to.  I was 16 when this film came out, but even then as a teenager, she was a role model that went hand in hand with Stargate SG-1′s Samantha Carter.  How is Mulan relevant?  She was voiced by Ming-Na Wen.  And I will admit to being amongst those who were disappointed she wasn’t cast as Mulan in Once Upon A Time on ABC.  She said she was too old when people voiced on twitter that they wanted her for the part.  My argument was simple, why do all the heroic characters have to be of a similar age?

Camille Wray (Ming-Na Wen) and Sharon

Ming-Na Wen also, more recently has portrayed another character who has also resonated deeply for me.  That of Camille Wray in the now finished Stargate Universe.  The scripts for the part were amazingly written, but it takes a person to bring them to life and Ming-Na did an amazing job portraying Camille.  Portraying a lesbian woman (or any gay character for that matter) can often lead to overuse of the stereotypes.  It hurts to see our community turned into a parody and Ming-Na avoided that.  What we saw before us was a very human character who was very much in love with her partner and whose sexuality was innate rather than paraded on her sleeve.  It was a refreshing change and made me smile.  Not only that, but when we tweeted (and yes there were a few of us) to thank Ming-Na for her portrayal, she was gracious and humble.  You could tell that she was grateful for the feedback and happy that she had given us a character who resembled our community and was appreciated.  Now all I can hope is that one day, I’ll meet Ming-Na at one of the many conventions I go to and whilst getting her autograph, get to thank her in person for the characters that have resonated within me.

I told you at the beginning of this post it would be random.  I don’t think I was wrong, but I needed to put out the thoughts that have been washing around in my brain all afternoon/evening.

Yesterday, for reasons passing understanding, the BBC announced they were axing The Hour. Heavens no, we all cried. Usually I’m pretty relaxed about TV shows I watch being cancelled. Not this time. Oh, no.

With a downturn in scripted television a result of the ascension of reality TV, it has become even tougher to come across original, quality programming. Of all the networks, the BBC has the greatest responsibility to provide quality. And maybe, every now and again, that doesn’t necessarily just mean bonnets.

The Hour was the standout show of 2012 for me. Anyone who’s talked TV with me since I discovered it will vouch that I persistently recommend The Hour at any opportunity. With none of the dried-up soapy-ness of Downton’s more recent episodes and a refreshed approach to period drama, every episode of The Hour was captivating. The costumes and sets were suitably seductive, showcasing iconic fifties fashion, and the actors proved an impressive ensemble. Along with the beautifully detailed aesthetics, though, came a depth of storytelling that filled the series with thrills. Not relying on its superficial strengths, The Hour consistently avoided shallow storytelling or melodrama. Nope. The writing, the visuals and the acting were a clean sweep of class.

What I loved was that it was not a procedural drama. Every week there were new twists to the plot that underpinned the series, tying the arc together and never allowing a storyline to turn stale. Characters were artfully defined, always distinct and always relevant. No one was surplus, and the audience’s perception of every character was always evolving. Oh, Hector, you’ve come so far.

The number one reason why I’m so troubled by its premature cancellation is that it was so very undeserved. The quality was steadily improving. In fact, while I love the show as a whole, the second series was about twenty times as good as the first. Just think of the possibilities for the third series! I have every confidence that the storylines would have divulged whole new facets to these now beloved characters. In Year 2, characters I wasn’t mad keen on at the beginning suddenly became far more complex than I had anticipated and we were introduced to Randall Brown, maybe the best of all. It is a true tragedy that we’ll only ever get one series of Peter Capaldi’s turn as the quietly brilliant but melancholic head of news. Toby Ziegler-esque, no?

Not only was Series Two a triumph, the finale was one of the best I’ve ever seen. Ben Whishaw was un-bloody-believable. How dare he shatter my heart like that. Oh, the tears I’ve cried. The two most moving scenes must be singled out: Randall’s breakdown upon learning that his daughter had long since died and Freddie’s bloody, teary final moments. Final moments of the episode, that is. Not his life. He’s not dead. No way. Nope. Don’t you dare.

When I watched the series two finale with my best friend, she foolishly commented, “Oh, they won’t kill off Freddie” about halfway through. I gave her my tempting-the-wrath-from-high-atop-the-thing glare but silently agreed. Things, for Freddie, went a little awry from there. And now we’ll never know…

“Moneypenny.”

I hope BBC Two can live with itself. That’s all I’m saying.

Note: you can sign the petition to #savethehour by clicking here.

Hey, can I talk to you about something? I was just umm… I’m in love with The Office. I’m really sorry if that’s weird for you to hear, but I needed you to… hear it. Probably not good timing (since it’s ending), I just… I just needed you to know. Once.

Watching this week’s episode, what I’ve known for months finally hit me: The Office is ending. ‘Next episode’ is soon going to stop being a thing. That’s fine. Good, even. It’s been making a steady descent for some time now. And I’ll still have Parks and Rec (or else I really will burn Utica to the ground, and that’ll be on you NBC!). But the past few episodes have captivated me in the way that the show did in its prime. My indifference has subsided and my investment revived. The performances from Jenna and John, most especially, have been out-freaking-standing.

Mostly, I’m glad I can properly enjoy the farewell season because it’s been a good’un. It’s taken some risks. There have been times since Jim and Pam got together when I feel like they haven’t been brave enough. This season, though, it’s like a head-on collision into the unknown: change, upheaval and, dare I say, career advancement OooOOOHOOoooh. Could it be? Could it be? EXCITING.

Also, congrats to the writers for making me do a total U-turn on Erin this season and finally invest in a romantic storyline that isn’t Jim and Pam. I love Pete. Pete’s great (pretty). Pete’s funny (pretty). Pete’s good for Erin (also pretty). I’m sorry but the easiest way to win me over is to say the words, “I just want you to be happy.” Yes. Good. Important.

Introducing new characters hasn’t always been this show’s strong suit (I’m usually just crying out for more Krasinski), but this season they’ve written Pete and Nellie, in particular, excellently.

It’s crazy to think that it’s been nine seasons. It was that number that really hit me hard: nine. Nine years. I was 11. I would have just been starting high school. Now I’m a proper adult (I have a house key an’ everything!!!!). Gawd. It’s actually half my life almost. I didn’t get into it until much, much later but it still freaks me out. I mean, THE WEST WING WAS ON THE AIR WHEN THIS SHOW PREMIERED. And The West Wing is proper classic NBC. Remember when there was lots of quality scripted television? Not bitter. I’m suddenly hit by the urge to cling tightly to the leg of this show just as it starts to walk away.

With a shared love for Jim Halpert, I’ve met some fantastic people through the magical world of social networking. I guess now I’ll have to find another way to make friends. Blackmail maybe? I don’t know. Wish me luck.

Put simply, I’m just glad to be sad. I was so worried that I was kind of already done. I think all it was really was I had high hopes that I never expected this final season would live up to. But it has. Work Bus will go down, in my mind, as one of the comedy greats of the series while Customer Loyalty, Vandalism and Couples Discount have made me impatient for more. It’s made me want to talk about the characters again, and indulge in classic Office on quiet afternoons, and engage with the actors’ Twitters like a fully-fledged fangirl. It really is going to be the fondest of farewells.

This is going to hurt like a motherf*cker.

Dean has been coded a fanboy many times in SPN canon, and no one (least of all Sam) really bought his half-hearted attempts at ‘I’m too cool for this’, with his boyish glee showing through every time he thought Sam wasn’t watching. Ackles excels at those little quirks of grin and oops-you-caught-me expressions, always subtle but there if you know to look for them. Both fans and Sammy definitely know. Dean wanting to have fun and Sam being all business is a dynamic that goes all the way back to Season 1, and it was nice to glimpse it again here, 8 seasons later when the boys have been through so much. That Dean can still look like a little boy – and Sam can still roll his eyes with a mix of exasperation and affection – feels familiar to me as a viewer, reminds me that they’re still the boys I fell for (at least in this episode).

The actual conversation between the brothers has gotten mixed reviews, but it struck me as mostly real. Yes, it’s frustrating that they never share with each other (or outsiders, even sympathetic ones like Charlie), the full story of what really happened. Hence a series of rather one-sided perspectives, each of them taking turns at apologizing instead of having the kind of talk that would let both of them say oh, okay, I get why you did what you did even if I don’t like it. Why, writers, why? Why can’t poor Sam and Dean know what we all know?? Actually that would be pretty handy in real life too, an omniscient narrator who can make sure everyone’s on the same page. Life would be so much easier!

Anyway, back to not-real-life. In this episode, it’s Dean’s turn to apologize and not clue anyone in to the reasons he did what he did or the fact that he is also dealing with loss and heartbreak and a break-up (hey, Show coded it that way, just callin’ it as they see it). This too is a familiar dynamic – Dean is in big brother protective mode, empathizing with Sam’s pain and grief and trying to make it better while not really knowing how. He looked similarly lost about how to help Sam after Jessica’s death, and responded with guilt and shouldering blame that pretty clearly wasn’t on him. That’s what Dean does, and he falls into it easily here.

Sam, to his credit, tries to correct Dean’s misplaced guilt both times – he specifically tells Dean that he doesn’t blame him for Jessica’s death in S1, and in this episode, he starts to move past his anger about the text ruse and let the blame associated with that error in judgment fall away. He doesn’t say it, but as with so much important Winchester communication, he gets the point across anyway. Dean takes unilateral responsibility for Sam’s wellbeing, still seeing it as his job to make Sam feel better – ‘Have fun Sam, it will make you feel better.’ Sam, however, corrects Dean’s one-sided perspective. “No, not just me. It will make us both feel better. Shall we?’

The invitation is to more than the LARPing – it’s Sam’s declaration that he cares as much about Dean’s feelings and wellbeing as Dean does for Sam. It’s a move from unilateral perspective to a joint one, from sympathy to empathy. It’s Sam getting it, and helping Dean to start getting it too. It’s an invitation to mutual – not one-sided – healing.

I can’t help thinking that as the boys careen down the hill together, facepainted and costumed and sword-wielding, they’re reliving hundreds of battles in their childhood. Not against real monsters – that came later – but the pretend ones they slayed together as little boys, when swords were sticks instead of demon-killing knives and Sam and Dean Winchester always saved the day without casualties. The joy on both their faces brought tears to my eyes (yeah, I know, that happens at the end of far too many SPN episodes. What can I say? I have ALL THE FEELS about this Show).

Add to all that the respectful, playful way that Charlie was portrayed and how casually and (mostly) positively gender roles and sexuality were commented on, and I was a pretty happy camper. Now that we’ve had a girl/girl kiss that was acknowledged as the awesome (and hot) thing it was, maybe Show will be gutsy enough to give us a boy/boy kiss that’s not the safe territory of gotta-do-it-to-seal-a-demon-deal or played for raised eyebrows or a straight guy’s discomfort. Somehow that seems to be scarier territory for networks. And let’s allow fanboys to be portrayed as just as cool as fangirls. Enough of this fan = loser stereotype, no matter which gender it’s thrown at!

So Robbie Thompson, all in all, you made me pretty happy.

Then the cast weighed in and made me even happier. Jared tweeted his unabashed love of Ren Faires and his excitement about the episode. Robbie Thompson hopped on Twitter to eagerly await fandom’s reaction to his script. And Felicia Day used her own awesome Geek And Sundry youtube channel to live vlog the episode. And didn’t we see some fuzzy photos of Jensen at a Faire floating around the internet too?

We wrote an entire book about being a fangirl and why we should celebrate that instead of being ashamed – we hope Fandom At The Crossroads was shame-busting for all of you who read it. Watching Felicia Day talk about being a geek was every bit as shame-busting.

“Charlie really is an authentic fangirl without becoming a cliché,” Felicia said as we all watched the episode. “I identify with her as a person just because she loves what she loves, and she isn’t apologetic about it.” Exactly! Being passionate – loving what we love – is one of the joys of being a fan. That the actress portraying the fangirl on Show is a self-proclaimed “Renaissance nerd” who “celebrates the lifestyle” is about as affirming as it gets.

If you haven’t played Team Fortress 2, or read the comics, or whatever, let me see if I can very simply describe this phenomenon. It’s an FPS, in which players select one of nine classes. Over the course of the game’s history the maker, VALVe, released a series of “Meet the Team” videos, profiling each character. For a game with no storyline – there’s no single player mode at all – there’s a lot of story in the form of setting, comics, backgrounds for characters and, in some cases, levels (the MVM – Mann vs. Machine – update features a level that’s a decoy for the invading robots where all the signs are badly painted onto a series of barns) and so on. The final video was “Meet the Pyro.” The pyro is, well, a pyro, clad in a bodysuit and gas mask, carrying a flamethrower and an axe (or, in some cases, a mail box, a neon sign, a rake, and a sledgehammer. The pyro’s identity and even gender are mysteries. So when VALVe said publicly and unequivocally that 2012 would mark the release of “Meet the Pyro” everyone got very excited.

A lot of people genuinely seem to have expected the video to reveal the Pyro’s identity. Theories blew up all over the internet, though it was a popular sport already to guess who the pyro was. No one I saw ever said “some dude [or lady] who burns things. I think I heard the Scout’s mother once, even. I don’t even know how that one started. The summer 2012 Pyromania update featured the video along with a lot of in-game stuff, including new weapons and a new game mode, Special Delivery. In it players race to deliver fuel to a rocket that will send Poopy Joe, an experimental monkey, into space. He dies horribly at the map’s end, over and over, for all eternity. Upshot is that some people even though the pyro was actually an intelligent ape of some kind.

Then the video came out. You should probably watch it.

There it is. Do you see the problem with it?

I didn’t either. But people got pissed. A: as you probably already see coming, people were angry the pyro’s identity hadn’t been revealed. I never thought it would be, though I thought there might be a few more hints. For instance, when VALVe learned people thought the pyro could be female, the pyro started getting women’s hats to wear in-game. So I figured some stuff might show up. And in the dream-sequence in the video, if you look in the sky, there’s a point at which you can see gender signs, so hell, I guess there is one thing anyway.

B, though, B: people thought the video was terrible and it ruined the character. Not everyone, mind you – I’m describing the internet, no one agrees here on anything. Not even that the internet’s good.

OK, so, what did the video say about the character? He’s fucking crazy, for one. He thinks he’s being friendly.

Cue the pasta.

There’s an ancient 4chan pasta that said exactly this. And VALVe’s famous for paying attention to what fans say about their games to one another and working it in. See the pyro hats above. So, in fact, it adds very little beyond a visual pallet for the insanity we all already knew the pyro suffered from. But people thought the pyro was wussified or something, that he wasn’t hard enough, not scary enough.

Go look at that video again. It was the video that VALVe used to debut their filmmaker, and there’s a reason for that: horror-stricken faces. Everyone is terrified of the pyro. That even tracks in-game. Often the pyro succeeds even without killing an enemy, because it’s fucking scary to be on fire. As an old Mac Hall joke went, no matter what you want, you want to be not on fire more than that. It fucks with aiming, it eats at your health, it makes you need a health pack or a medic or a friendly pyro to put you out.

OK, let’s drill down to some kind of point here, right?

I find it fascinating and, I suppose, a little disturbing, that the fanbase did one thing: lose all interest after the video came out (again, not everyone, I know, jeez). I suppose it’s obvious why I don’t like that reaction – I liked the video, I liked the update, good good good.

But it’s interesting because it shows that, honestly, the interest isn’t in the product, but the speculation. The fans actually enjoy speculating about the video (and every major TF2 update) more than thing itself.

Years ago I ran into someone online complaining about the TV show Psych. OK, yeah, we’re far afield here, bear with me.

This friend was upset about the end of an early season, I think two or three. That’s because the main character, Spencer, kissed his long-time interest, Juliet, for the first time. I saw a later episode recently and they do start dating, but not for another few seasons. Why was my friend upset? It wasn’t because the scene was badly written, or  handled poorly, or out of character. Well, not out of the actual character.

My friend was upset because she thought Spencer should be gay, even though the show had never indicated he was, and so the kiss was out of character in her head. But only in her head.

This is, I supposed, related to fanon – I don’t know if it qualifies directly or not, I’d actually appreciate knowing. Fanon as in “fan” + “canon,” not the critic Franz Fanon. In the fan canon of the show my friend read into and enjoyed most, Spencer was gay. In fact, he has a thing for Juliet’s partner, the angry police detective that sort-of hates Spencer.

I can understand being disappointed if one’s personal hope for a show doesn’t pan out, but being angry at the show and its creators? Being angry at VALVe for, honestly, not changing anything, but doing so flashily? Huh?

In both cases, the actual thing has been overshadowed by the rickety scaffolding of fan speculation around it, so much so that the fans aren’t looking at the thing, but its new shell. In a Terry Pratchett novel, Small Gods, the narrator says that religions can build up around their gods for a long time, until the religion hardens and kills the god inside. It’s a comment directly on people who care about their religion but not their faith or their spirit, only the rituals and rules, but it also describes a figurative mechanism that I’m borrowing for fan constructions. They, too, could possibly strangle the thing itself, the product. In this case it probably wouldn’t cancel the show or kill the game – though I suppose it could if enough people were angry and stopped watching or playing – but it kills the enjoyment of the fan, and for no good reason. The thing itself is still as good as before, but because its trajectory is not the one mapped out by the fan, it is no longer “good.”

Obviously I disagree with this point of view. But I do also find it interesting as I see it happen over and again. You could apply the same figurative image to lots of things – fantasy novels being reviled because they’re not 1000 page multi-volume epics; music going unsold because it doesn’t fit into an easily-recognizable genre; or even the ever-popular battle between jocks and nerds.

If you’ve enjoyed this messy take on fan readings, probably you should check out my blog, where I do stuff like this specifically about science fiction and fantasy of all sorts.

These pictures are by Lettie, who does wonderful fandom-based artwork in the art nouveau style. I have long loved her artwork. Her older art can be found here (I particularly love her 1920s AU Supernatural art – like Gabriel in the ridiculous yellow suit and fedora, and Anael dressed as a flapper - and her genderswapped Dean & Castiel pics, some of which are only available on the LJ site).

Part of the reason I’m uncomfortable with the misconceptions about fan fiction is because I write it, and I know better (yes, that’s the sound of me getting on my high horse). I’ve been writing fan fiction since I was fourteen years old. You may think I’m being defensive and you may well assume that mine is as bad as the very worst. I will accept that I may not be the best; I may even be the worst. One thing I know for certain, though, is that I’m a damn sight better at writing than I was when I started. In my mind, that’s what it comes down to. You are in a situation where there’s a receptive audience; there are people to please. You write and write, and that process comes with natural improvement.

You build upon universes created by other writers. Some of them are the best in the world, of their time, within their genre. There are worlds like those of Harry Potter, Doctor Who and, in my humble opinion, The West Wing that introduce minor characters that deserved a back-story and leave subplots open-ended and tease all the shoulda-beens that never were. There is nothing wrong with wanting to explore all of that. My experience of reading fan fiction has only served to enrich my experience of the source material. Sometimes you come across fan fiction that is better than the canon material. I can’t adequately express the delight I take in being able to give someone that kind of feedback. Even if it isn’t “better”, how many film adaptations are regarded as “better” than the book? They simply serve a different purpose, provide for a different audience or expand the material for the same audience.

What fan fiction does that creative writing more generally doesn’t do is come with a pre-existing audience. It creates an immediacy to the process, removing the involvement of editors, publishers etc. This means that the writer themselves has to serve as all of the above. It teaches the individual to become an editor, to develop the skills of proofreading. In this respect, the learning curve is steeper. It also allows the writer total control over what they are putting out into the world. While this can be done with any online writing, fan fiction also comes with communities that are readily interested in reading the work. Your market, so to speak, is there waiting for you.

The platforms upon which fan fiction is shared vary. There are general fan fiction websites; currently the largest of these is Fanfiction.net (FFN), with in excess of 600,000 stories for Harry Potter alone. There are fandom-specific websites that are often home to other relevant media for a fandom, a modest example is More Than That which exists entirely for fans of The Office’s Jim and Pam (with over 750 active members). Finally, there is the personal blog format, utilising sites like LiveJournal and Tumblr to post fan fiction amidst other blog material. Use of all these outlets is increasing all the time.

Fan fiction is not new, though. Fanfiction.net was launched in 1998, LiveJournal in 1999. Shows like The West Wing, a series that ran from 1999 until 2006, are not exempt from the world of fan fiction, proving that not only has this format endured, it is far from exclusive to worlds of science fiction or fantasy. In fact, The West Wing fan fiction is a mix of old and new with the main resource for older fan fictions, National Library, hosting over 6,000 different stories. These fandom-specific websites often include guidelines and challenges that, despite the bad press, may be used to stimulate ideas. This speaks to the two-way dialogue that occurs in this setting between the writers and readers.

Given how much the experience of fan fiction has enriched my writing process, the disparaging remarks made against fan fiction communities elude me. Writing fan fiction involves a process of deconstruction to the source material. It forces the writer to analyse the importance of character development, distinguishing each character as an individual, pace, perspectives and narration, the layers between page and screen and so much more. It’s often unconsciously done, but the best works are those that successfully and subtly explore those elements. It allows one to understand the same importance in one’s own creative writing. You begin to look for ways to create unique character traits and distinctive voices on the page. You begin to contemplate what narrative voice will be most effective for different contexts. You begin to explore how chronology can affect storytelling. It’s simply another way to learn from the pros.

While you’re writing fan fiction, you’re learning about what is good and bad about the characters you love. In the process, you’re learning about what is good and bad about the characters you create. It allows you a wealth of insight into the creative process, simultaneous to the experience of receiving feedback. Constructive feedback can hugely shape the way a person writes, while vague but encouraging feedback can simply inspire you to write more (and thus improve!). Most of the time, it’s done within a community. It allows you to learn from your peers, which only adds to the motivation. You want to entertain these people, and they want to be entertained. It’s enormously rewarding in this respect. Unlike in the classroom, the reader is willing and motivated entirely by personal interest.

Ultimately, it was my fellow fans that taught me how to write. I promise this: no teacher ever read my work as attentively as some of my readers. For a girl who gets by on mustered faux confidence, the encouragement has been energising. As one of my lecturers frequently stresses, it’s important to identify who the reader is. This experience provides that first-hand. You have a direct discourse with those readers. Once you accept the importance of readership and feedback to a writer, how can you possibly deny the value of fan fiction?

I’d be really interested to read what you think about this, whether a reader of fan fiction or not, so please feel free to leave comments below.

After the final film was released, most people probably believed that Harry Potter was finally over. That can be proven wrong. The fandom of Harry Potter also did not just start; it has been going since 1997 and shows no sign of stopping.

3 fans dressed as characters from Harry Potter by Rebecca Overholt.

The Beginning

The first book, Harry Potter and the Philosopher Stone, came out in 1997. Many young adults and adults were only children when these books were coming out. Central Michigan University sophomore, Salina Bosworth, started getting into the Harry Potter series when she was eight years old and her love for the series has yet to be over.

But is she obsessed with the series?

“Obsessed has such a negative connotation…I just think it’s just a really strong passion.” States Bosworth on her opinion of how she handles the series.

Bosworth is not the only one to have such a strong passion for this series and many across the world share the same love for Harry Potter. But is it too much?

Crazy Obsessed Fanatics

According to Dictionary.com, the definition of obsession is the domination of one’s thoughts or feelings by a persistent idea, image, desire, ect. Does dressing up like a character from the series make these fans obsessed? Is it also healthy to be so into a series as big as the Harry Potter series?

A section in New York Magazine, Vulture, have an article dedicated to whether being in a fandom is completely healthy. In the article “Is There Something Psychologically Unhealthy about Being a Fan?” discusses all the craziness surrounded by the Harry Potter fandom.

Phoebe Reilly states that at one point there was a Harry Potter fan that was stabbed just for saving a seat at a convention. That is a very obsessed. According to Reilly and psychiatrists, it’s what the fans are thinking in their heads and how they talk to others is what can cause issues.

Dr. Drew Ramsey, a Columbia professor of psychiatry, states “we’ve sort of swapped out something that is supposed to be pleasurable…and replaced it with an intense involvement.” As Ramsey states, “it’s a form of escapism.”

But do these fans escape a little too far? Some fans would completely disagree and connect to these novels in different ways.

Being Connected

When asked about why people get these passions, Bosworth had a very intelligent answer. “There is a certain connection that you feel when you dress up…and you feel like you’re not as weird,” Bosworth states. Fans around the world connect with each other and the characters in the stories. “While they are stories of fiction, they connect to things that happen in the real world.”

These books and films help young adults feel accepted and help them feel like they are not the only ones struggling. There are situations in Harry Potter that echoes real life. Bosworth explains that there are echoes of 1945 Germany and genocide in general, the AIDS epidemic, and even the struggle of homosexuality.

These are struggles that people face every day and these connections and small escapes from reality really help.

A World of its Own

“Harry Potter has created a whole world of its own,” say Bosworth. Apparently there are Harry Potter rock bands, international organizations that donate every year, and conferences. Universal Theme Park even brought Harry Potter’s world to life when they made a section of the park just for that.

Bosworth even stated that she is going to the convention dedicated to Harry Potter, called Leaky Con. Harry Potter has turned into so much more and it continues to grow. It has even made it onto the campus of Central Michigan University with the Harry Potter Alliance the Quidditch Team and event campus events.

South Quad hosted a Harry Potter event that allowed the students, if mainly South Campus, to live life as a Hogwarts student for a night.

These fans may get criticized for being obsessed, but it’s only because of a strong connection. Sometimes it’s best to sit down and read a book, and get pulled into the fantasy for just a little while.

Jack Weurfel as Harry Potter at the event at Central Michigan University.

So for those of you who have been waiting to snag yourself a booth at our new location (The Holiday Inn Express in Mesquite), now is your chance! Vendor Registration will be open from now until April 30th, 2013 or until they are sold out.

New This Year: We are now featuring triple spaces! Get more bang for your buck on compatible triple spaces. Spaces on our map can to be sold as a single spaces (10×10), double spaces (10×20) or triple spaces (10×30). Triple spaces will usually be sold in an “L” formation so please see the vendor’s map for spaces that can be turned into doubles or triples.

You can Register your booth now on the OkamiCon Nevada Vendor Page. An option to add a company website, eBay page, deviantART or other personal website has also been added when buying your space.

Booth Info:
A 10′x10′ Booth will include 1 Table, 2 Chairs and Table Covering.
A 10′x20′ Booth will include 2 Tables and 2 Additional Chairs (If desired) and Table Coverings.
A 10′x30′ Booth will include 3 Tables 2 Additional Chairs (if desired) and Table Coverings.
All Booths Include: 2 Convention Passes, Temporary Nevada Sales Tax License, OkamiCon Exhibitor Packet.
NOTE: 10×30 Booths are available on compatible spaces only and are subject to availability. Please see booth availability map for compatible spaces.

VENDORS WILL ONLY GET 2 BADGES EACH!
Additional badges will need to be purchased at the front desk at full convention price or through online pre-registration.

Dealer // Artists Booth Availability Chart – Grand Flacon Exhibit Hall
Dealer // Artists Booth Availability Chart – Sunset Mesa Exhibit Hall

Dealers and Artists Booth 10’x10’ Booth: $175.00 (Includes Both Days)
Dealers and Artists Booth 10’x20’ Booth: $300.00 (Includes Both Days)
Dealers and Artists Booth 10’x30’ Booth: $450.00 (Includes Both Days)

Vendor Frequently Asked Questions
———————————————–
I would like a Vendor’s Booth. Can you reserve a space for me?
Vendor Spaces will be reserved after confirmation of payment. We cannot hold or reserve spaces otherwise.

Do You Still Have Vendor Spaces Available? // How Much Are Vendor Spaces?
You can find complete information on our Dealer and Artists spaces by visiting our Vendors Page. You will find pricing information, current vendors, a map of our Exhibit Hall with available spaces and more.

Can I reserve a certain space on the Exhibit Hall map?
Individual vendor spaces are reserved on a first-come, first-serve basis. You may request a particular space on the map if it is available, but we cannot guarantee that you will be assigned that particular space.

What items cannot be sold at my booth?
The following items are restricted for sale by vendors at OkamiCon Nevada:
-Steel or metal swords/weaponry
-Guns and ammunition
-Food and beverage (including pre-packaged items)
-Adult X-Rated Content and Merchandise (i.e. Hentai)
-Raffle/lottery tickets or other games of chance that require a fee
-Pirated or illegal copies of official copyrighted merchandise

Can I sell wooden/bamboo practice swords, plastic cosplay props or other similar items at my booth?
Yes. We do allow the sale of wooden or bamboo swords, large plastic props and other like items that are not on the restricted list. If you are not sure whether or not your merchandise is restricted, please do not hesitate to contact us.

For the movie, I read the book years back and some of the parts I can’t remember anymore. So while watching, I let myself be reminded of the beautiful things happened on the book. I do remember “some” parts–happy parts to be exact but to be honest only 60% out of 100%. It was years ago when I read the book and I read a lot of other books so forgive me when i say that. Im a Twihard years back. Hehe. All I know it’s all happy ending and they live happily ever after…forever. Almost cried in the end..tears of joy. the same that i felt when I watched the last installment of HP. Just happy. I love how the ending credits done. They give emphasis to the cast and characters they played on the movie, from movie one till the last. I love the idea of it. And that was it, the ending of my obsession…I guess. But as I always say they will always remain forever, a part of being me.

Let me share to you some of my movie madness on this franchise:

xx,jas

This is true, but this is also not true. Do you see the aforementioned sentence as two arguments, or just one?

It has been a long time since I last wrote. The rigorous clacking of keyboard keys and the weaving of ideas that boggle the mind and soul of the Japanese visual media consumer ring faintly in my mind as I stare intently at the blankness that is the Add New Post page. Alas, these thoughts that are constantly swirling my mind are demanding an outlet of protest, for they have been suppressed for far too long.

What am I talking about, exactly? What ails the elusive enigma to the point of unprecedented resurrection? That is, simply being, the dissection of the very existence of the omnifan.

The omnifan is an entity of fandom based on the concept of how a person interprets something. In the omnifan’s case, he or she is an entity that exists to accept every plausible idea, every possible context, and every single opinion. An omnifan does not stick to one idea, concept or interpretation, but rather it creates an amalgam from all the possibilities in order to create an acceptable answer. It does not discriminate on the morality of an idea, nor does it reject its differing polarities when it comes to interpreting them. Everything is possible, therefore an interpretation is limited only by the boundaries of one’s imagination.

This, if we go by the principles of post-structuralism, deduces an omnifan’s as a being of neutrality, which brings us to my case. If we are to leap beyond the boundaries of Japanese visual media fandom and into the inner workings of communities and the social media that make them work, the omnifan is the most creative, the least believable, and the least to be liked. Why? Because the omnifan tends to accept every interpretation as a possibility, they tend to walk on the gray line when it comes to everything. The sentence “I like (insert X here).” is interpreted as “I like it because it’s a good X.” or “I like X because it’s as bad as Y.”, or “I like it just because.” or even all of the above. They perpetrate the “A is deep” and “B is grimdark” posts in 4chan. They lump in every single interpretation that the other types of interpretative strategies (the focused fan and the discerning, respectively) believe in and attempt to make sense out of them, which mostly doesn’t sit well with the aforementioned. The omnifan revels in the certainty of uncertainty, and that means rejecting reality and substituting one’s own, based on how the environment and circumstances are perceived.

Lo, and behold, for what seems to be the omnifan’s strength also proved to be the omnifan’s own undoing. This double-edged sword not only bolsters the omnifan’s creative thought processes, but also degrades him or her to a demographic so uncertain that it cannot label itself, a demographic that cannot be accepted because it accepts everything. Anything an omnifan says may or may not hold any meaning because it is neutrally diverse; it is theoretical and utterly shallow unless proven by fact. Worse, the possibility that omnifans are actually right is extremely rare. And in the cases where they are, people still won’t believe them, or at least have a hard time accepting that the one gear they believe that is the most essential is as irrelevant as the others that comprise the entire clockwork that is the plot.

However, let us take heed that human nature is subject to constant change. We are not permanently pegged into this kind of self-categorization. We are, after all, a species that is inclined to evolve over time. Therefore, it is safe to say that the woes of the omnifan may be as short-lived as a moment’s thought.

But how certain I am on this, I have not the slightest clue.

]]> http://nakawtingin.wordpress.com/2012/11/20/lee-minho-in-the-ph-airport-chase/ Tue, 20 Nov 2012 00:21:58 +0000 Janey http://nakawtingin.wordpress.com/2012/11/20/lee-minho-in-the-ph-airport-chase/

On November 15, 2012, Lee MinHo arrived in the Philippines.

That day, I trooped to the airport with Iris, Eunise and my forever airport buddy, Ate Karen, and we waited for the Asian Superstar to arrive. Since everyone in the Philippine media outlets loves to call him the Asian Superstar, let me call him that, too. It’s no secret that I have so much love for Lee MinHo. City Hunter’s my number one obsession last year, and I seriously didn’t know what to do with my life when the series ended. But I moved on and eventually found other things to keep me occupied. But Lee MinHo stays in my heart.

So when he became a Bench endorser and they announced that he’s coming to the country, I made sure that I’d see him in the flesh. Month before his planned arrival, I already filed two days of vacation leave. I’m prepared you know. But we only learned of his arrival day before he arrived! I’m so glad I filed the right dates for my VL. Heehee.

This is my third trip to the airport just to see a Korean celebrity and so far, this is the best one! Iris’s father works in the airport and he managed to get us visitor’s pass! OMG! We were so excited because we were able to get inside the Arrivals area and comfortably wait for LMH. We were all giddy and excited but we still managed to camwhore.

We waited near the VIP room because the airport staff said LMH would drop by the VIP room after he landed, just like what Big Bang did when they went here last month. But we were too nervous and excited to sit still so we ended up roaming around the airport. Iris’s father was kind enough to tour us a bit and introduce us to other airport staff.

By that time, people are starting to gather near the immigration area. There were some fans, too, but most of the people gathered were airport personnel. We were standing next to the windows and we could see planes flying in and out. Everytime a plane would appear, we’d panic a bit since it might be Lee MinHo’s flight already!

When the news spread that LMH’s plane landed already, a crowd already formed in front of the immigration. We were so anxious because we did not know if we’d be able to get near him and that’s basically the only thing we wanted! Well, seeing his gorgeous face was okay, too. When the screaming started, the crowd rushed forward and we panicked. By that point, it might be impossible to slip through everyone so my friends and I decided to just wait by the VIP room. We ran so fast without caring whether people were staring or not. Along with other airport staff, we waited by the VIP room.

The crowd engulfing LMH was moving in the middle of the airport towards the exit. And that’s when we realized that he’s not stopping by the VIP room at all! CRAAAAAAAAAAAP!

So we made a mad dash towards the exit and tada! I cannot, for the life of me, describe what happened. There’s chaos all around. But I know that we made it in time because we reached the exit gates before him. We saw him walking towards us and it was glorious. GLORIOUUUUUS.

You know how in movies there seems to be a haze around superstars walking in the red carpet and all you can see is the star with camera flashes going off everywhere around him and the other people are basically faceless? THAT’S WHAT HAPPENED! All I could see was Lee Min Ho walking towards ME (yeah, i’m delusional) and he has this little smile on his face. He was wearing shades and he was walking like a model. And no one could get near him because of his bodyguards and all. When he passed by me I managed to brush his right sleeve!! O M G O M G. He’s such a dream, okay.

In a panicky state, I followed along with the crowd. I tried so hard to get near and I DID it. I slipped under the guards! (Reader, we have to see each other so I could demonstrate to you my ninja moves.) I was basically in the circle the bodyguards formed only for Lee Min Ho. And what else could I do when I managed to get inside the circle but touch his back. O M G. I could feel nothing of course since he was wearing a rather thick coat. But I was so happy!!!! A Korean bodyguard (not his famous bodyguard) slapped my hand away but I was still grinning like an idiot. I wish LMH didn’t feel harassed or whatever though. Heh. I just wanted to shake his hands but he wasn’t facing me. A Pinoy security also restrained me (he was holding both of my arms just to stop me from taking another step forward but I managed to break free because your fangirl spirit really does that to you) and I was still grinning. How could I not grin? I just touched Daejang’s back!!!!

I’d rather not share my video of my interaction with him since it’s just screaming and shaking and you can’t even see LMH’s face in it. So here’s a GIF of his back. I was filming the whole time so I have no idea how I managed to touch his back? IDK.

LMH and his bodyguards were so in-sync that their walk from the immigration towards the car waiting outside the Arrivals area was so smooth. No man, woman, fan or not, could stop them on their tracks. I was speechless, but they’re really rather impressive!

Everything happened so fast! In fact, my video only lasted for only 1:08 mins! THAT FAST! But it was so worth it because he’s just so handsome!!!!! He looks the same in person as he is on TV. Maybe a bit more good-looking because he’s just shining. You know?

I SWEAR THAT’S LEE MINHO’S BACK!!!!!

It suddenly makes me wonder if he’s shining because he’s a celebrity or he already had that shine before, and that’s why he became a star? Yes, I have rather deep fangirl thoughts sometimes.

The airport chase started my Lee MinHo week. I am still tired from it all but it’s worth every single cent and effort. Lee MinHo is worth frothing over the mouth for. Lee MinHo is worth all the expensive taxi rides and hours and hours of waiting and sweaty run and being broke and stubbed toes. Lee MinHo is worth it. Period.

And I just feel…sorry, because I used to think that as well, until I got deep enough into the fandom to realize that this overall attitude is really only skin-deep.

The fandom, community, whatever you want to call it, still degrades femininity, it still degrades women, and it does so with pleasure and glee that I only ever see from comic book and game fans.

Bronies even take a show that has had a history of being marketed exclusively towards girls, and insist that because of certain themes in the series, that it’s too ‘edgy’ for girls and that it’s CLEARLY meant for bronies like them.

So when I see feminists embracing bronies because they’re “transcending gender roles”, I just feel sad that eventually, that illusion is going to disappear. Because I remember that feeling, where it seemed so fantastic that FINALLY cis men were getting in on the act, that they were no longer seeing a feminine and girly show as something BAD, like most media meant for girls is viewed as.

But again, as I got deeper into the fandom, and the way I saw the fandom treat women and femininity in general, the more obvious it became to me that bronies had simply staked their claim out for masculinity, on another territory that, frankly, wasn’t meant to be theirs. And if anything, bronies cling the hardest to gender roles.

It’s an unfortunate thing to discover about a fandom that you previously had nothing but good feelings towards.

Anyway, this is the charming outburst.

which can be found here in all its original glory on facebook.

I love that people say this like it’s some sort of revelation that no one has ever had before. Not the case, guys! In fact, I can count another time in the past few months where someone has had the exact same idea. Here you go.

I’m going to focus on the second article first. The opening of this article states

There is a growing chorus of frustration in the geek community with – and there’s no other way to put this – pretty girls pretending to be geeks for attention.

Now, let’s just think about this for a second.

Both men are essentially berating conventionally attractive women for dressing in scantily clad outfits to cons to get attention from men, yes? This is especially hilarious to me. Those skimpy outfits? Artists like yourself, Tony, design the fuckers. I’m not saying you personally do, but they gotta come from somewhere, right?

Oh wait, I forget that those outfits are supposed to be fanservice for your male readers. Funny that, huh? It’s cool for men to leer or whack one out at ridiculously drawn women in acrobatic (read: impossible) poses in outfits that barely cover any flesh. But the second a hot chick appropriates that outfit for her own fun? Well, shit, that’s just preying on the poor virginal nerds with the first flesh-baring outfit you find.

Totally cool.

You disgusting predatory harlot.

Now, I love costumes. That is no secret. My Batwoman is perhaps my favourite, if for nothing other than the fact I was actually not recognised in it. I covered every part of flesh bar my neck. Because covering my neck is not cool. I plonked a red wig on top of my unruly mess of brown hair and I fixed a papier-mached mask to my face. I mainly picked an outfit like this because it was October and fucking cold but shit like this makes me want to whack out a Starfire to the supermarket.

Y’all designed this shit. Don’t forget that.

Now, the second article goes on to say

There are lots of geeks who are female. Some of these female geeks are pretty girls. I find it fantastic that women are finally able to enjoy a culture that has predominately been male-oriented and male-driven.

Oh thank god. Panic over. Misogyny within fandom is dead. We can all go home.

Or not.

I’m talking about an attention addict trying to satisfy her ego and feel pretty by infiltrating a community to seek the attention of guys she wouldn’t give the time of day on the street.

There we go. We’re back.

They’re poachers. They’re a pox on our culture.

Keep going, this is getting good.

The idea of a real nerd girl pisses me the fuck off. The idea that guys can look upon us and decide that we don’t know our shit because we enjoy dressing in skimpy costumes is bullshit. Cosplay is escapism. If I wanted to go out in a leotard I could because it’s fantasy. I enjoy that. I love costumes. I’ve created shitty costumes of Batwoman, Quorra, Death from the Sandman comics, Domino. I made a plan for Astonishing-era Shadowcat, and Nolan’s Catwoman, and a S.H.I.E.L.D agent. Hell, I should, for ann intents and purposes, be at a superhero themed party right now in that very Catwoman costume if it wasn’t for my anti-biotics and aching butt-cheeks. Slip on that cape or that mask or that wig and you’re a new person. If I got my kicks from Emma Frost’s midriff baring affair or Power Girl’s boob window or Silk Spectre II’s thigh-high PVC boots and suspenders then I’d damn well wear them. Contrary to the popular belief, women overwhelmingly do this for their own entertainment.

Which brings me to my next point. No doubt someone, somewhere will cry out “but wait! some people do dress up purely because they’re hot and get attention!!! This guy is talking about them, and acknowledging your existence! He even mentions that comics are male orientated and he likes having women in it!” Well so fucking what. You can’t fight one form of misogyny with another inherent form of misogyny. That’s not how this works. You can’t include some women, placing them on pedestals and proclaim them queens of the geeks and exclude others based on your own narrow view of the world.

A) How can you tell, from looking, who knows comics or not? To what extent? How do you know that they aren’t a fan of one comic, or have a tie to the character in their childhood? In order to do this you must interrogate them. Or you can just assume that a hot chick in a costume is faking it.

B) This type of assumption leads to a cynicism around all girls in geekdom, and you know what? I’m pretty fuckin’ tired of that, and I know I’m not the only one. For instance, in the above point I say interrogate, rather than ask or have a conversation with, as interrogate is generally the more appropriate verb. I know this from first hand experience. I have a hoodie with panels from marvel comics and I actually got quizzed on the street by some guy that I had never met over whether I even knew what they were from. Spoiler alert: that’s not cool. Even if I didn’t (I did) what the hell gives you the right to assume that you can just walk up to a random girl and interrogate her on her credentials. Would you do that to a guy? My brother, for instance, who has the same hoodie but nowhere near the wealth of comic knowledge that I do? And even I would class myself as a complete novice. What does that make him?

You know what? That doesn’t matter because you wouldn’t ask. I know many, many guys who wear Batman t-shirts or carry Batman bags who would never, ever get quizzed on specific arcs of the comic books despite only knowing the Nolan films, or the Burton films. Does that make them less of a fan? Do you care? Something tells me you don’t.

Also: why is it that guys are never labeled ‘fake geeks’?  A non-comic-fan guy sees the Captain America movie and dresses up as Cap?  Awesome!  A girl sees “The Avengers” and dresses up as Black Widow?  Oh, she’s a fake, because she’s never read a comic in her life.  

- kyrax2.tumblr.com

The idea of categorising certain people as being allowed to wear this or that or certain people not being able to wear this or that because of your predetermined assumptions and superiority complexes is utter tripe. It ends with people getting quizzed on the street. It ends with girls not wanting to talk about comics with men, or hell, other girls, because these behaviours filter through genders because the attitude of men against geek girls creates tension amongst those who do know every-fucking-thing about their fandom and pits them against each other. After a while the threat of being seen as beneath others frustrates you to a point where you’re quite frankly desperate to prove that you’re not one of them. You’re real. You’re true. I know. I’m ashamed to say I’ve been there. It ends with a stupid insecurity that you’re going to mess up and suddenly be lumped in with the uncultured swine who don’t know their comic books. Dramatic gasp! It happens. Don’t look so shocked.

In terms of being a “real” geek or not, there’s such a ridiculous elitism surrounding geeks which is fucking pathetic. Like if you can’t list, in detail, everything about every character from every comic then somehow it makes you some sort of fake or lesser being. And really, this stuff isn’t as obscure as these people seem to think it is, they don’t seem to comprehend that so many people can have some sort of knowledge about something that’s been around a lot and love that stuff but not know a HUGE amount about everything else and suddenly THEY ARE THE ENEMY.

Now, back to the original thing that sparked this. The first image (I got a bit distracted by my rant. Shit happens). Anyway, this is wrong on so so many levels. Where should I even start. Apart from the fact that he basically seems to have read the second article and rewritten it, somehow, even less eloquently.

they are the exception to the rule.

Good start. That seems to fit nicely with the above word vomit. He actually basically says that girls who dress in skimpy costumes that like comics are the exception. Really? Do you genuinely believe that the majority of these people don’t like comics? And you know this… how?

yer either skinny (Well, some or most of you, THINK you are) or you have Big Boobies. Notice I didn’t say GREAT Boobies?

Thank you. Always good to know neckbeards like you are judging my tits and mocking people behind their back because they think they are skinny. Can we not with the taunts about weight, please? Chances are we know our physical flaws. Chances are it’s because arseholes like to point them out like we’ve never looked in a mirror.

You have this really awful need for attention, for people to tell you you’re pretty.

Ok, seriously. STOP. Do you have any idea how ridiculous you sound? If I wanted people to tell me I’m pretty I wouldn’t prey upon virgins at cons. I wouldn’t rely on getting a basement dwelling mouth breather who gets a boner at the sight of a leotard to boost my confidence. And hell, even if I did, you literally just stuck up for the men for being unconfident. What are girls who apparently do this if not unconfident? To resort to paying money to go to conventions, making costumes, buying costumes, to hang around guys who you say yourself we apparently have no interest in actually talking to/banging. That sound like the marks of a confident girl to you?

All in all, it’s utter wank, to put it politely. There is nothing, nothing, in the world that gives you the right to judge what is a real geek and not a real geek. There is nothing in the world that gives you the right to judge a woman’s body in that way, no matter how much she may be flaunting it. There is nothing in the world that gives you the right to make blanket statements about the mindset of women in terms of their confidence while simultaneously protecting and standing up for men with the same confidence issues.

Quite frankly who says anyone even wants the attention from these men? The idea of someone putting you into their spank bank? Not that enjoyable. In fact it’s slightly repulsive.

But do you know, Tony, who I say prey more on impressionable geeks? I say it’s artists who draw women like this.

Three birds with one stone, there. Excite fanboys with crudely masked innuendos on top of two gigantic breasts, ensure they buy your comic and objectify women. That’s cool. Obviously. It’s just when a girl makes the artist’s vision a reality where the problem comes about. It’s all our fault!!

I have to admit, though, I do enjoy these events because it brings out some arse-kicking responses. I think this is my favourite.

“We are LEGION” are you, Tony? Well we happen to have our own community. A community which is getting more and more tired of the bullshit we have to put up with from men in order to be taken seriously in fandom. A community who is sick of being pit against each other in the geek girl hierarchy. A community that has the brains and the will to call you out when you fuck up. A community that doesn’t take a rebuttal that essentially comes back to “I’m sorry you were offended” as an apology, or the fact that you “respect the women in your life” as credentials for not being misogynistic. Especially when you do have fans who share the same opinion, and lay it upon us as well, laughing off our criticisms because “it’s just your opinion, man”. When you have fans who take a comment from you as confirmation of being correct themselves this problem spreads. And spreads.

And now we have a community that is pissed.

All in all my friend Catherine said it best, I think.

If someone likes & supports something, don’t disparage them by calling them “fake geeks” or “bandwagon fans.” Just be happy it’s touched them.

A-fucking-men. Let hot chicks get their kicks in skimpy outfits, whether they know one comic book or a thousand. Let people parade in Batman shirts when they’ve only seen the Nolan films. Let people dress as Superman despite never picking up a comic book. It’s pop culture. POPULAR culture. Not an elitist fan club for you to turn your nose up at people for what they wear or how much they know. And definitely not an avenue to body shame, slut shame, shame in general.

I leave you with my dream cosplay. In which I would have to remove my spine and replace it with a jelly worm, and basically forgo clothes other than pouches. And then I’ll be all ready for my… predatoring. Seriously, men of the comic world, you make this shit way too easy.

There are some things yoga just can’t prepare you for.

Note: that last comment was a joke. My dream cosplay is obviously a fully functioning Megatron with which I take over England and place myself as the rightful robot queen. But that’s another story.

Cover of Reborn! ‘s first DVD volume released by Marvelous Entertainment. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Have you ever had that feeling when something that has been a large part of your life for a long time ends? A relationship, I suppose, though I’ve never been in one to know. A job. School or college or university.

An obsession.

Now, I will readily admit to being a Harry Potter tragic, having spent a good portion of my life in the fandom, reading the books, watching the movies and tracking down every pieces of information I could on the internet. When the last movie came out, it was painful. My heart tore and somewhere, deep inside, I wondered what I would do with my life.

My answer was to throw myself into another of my obsessions, a manga (Japanese comic) called Katekyo Hitman Reborn. I began reading KHR when the TV show had only a couple of episode out, way back in October of 2006, and I have been a major part of the fandom ever since. My main contribution, as with any of my fandoms, is in the fanfiction area, to which I devote hours every day (reading mainly, though I have started writing more lately). I even began a chaptered fanfiction earlier this year that is set as a possible future for the KHR characters.

Last week, when I read chapter 408 of the KHR manga, I was well aware that the story was drawing to a close. The main character had used his final transformation, the final boss had been defeated, and everything was right in the world. Except for one thing – KHR is based around a kid, Tsunayoshi Sawada, who is being trained, mostly against his will, to become the tenth boss of a certain mafia family. You would think, therefore, that the manga would finish with, at the least, Tsuna’s coronation as the Tenth.

No.

Instead, he discovered his final transformation, he defeated the final boss, went back to his daily life (which was a throw back – all of one chapter – to KHR’s origins as a comedy retelling Tsuna’s daily problems with his hitman tutor, Reborn) and then, next chapter, wham. Reborn disappears for a week, leaving Tsuna to think he’s finally given up on making Tsuna the Tenth, and then comes back to declare that he’s gotten permission to name Tsuna the “Neo Vongola Primo” (the new First of the mafia family, Vongola) and that Tsuna’s friends are there to celebrate. There’s some nice talk of feelings – Tsuna realises both how little and how much has changed from back when he was just “Useless-Tsuna”, and then it finishes.

Just like that.

I can’t even… I don’t understand how that’s an ending. It’s clean, yes, and it solves the last arc and wraps up the story with a nice ‘This is where we came from and this is where we ended up’ summary, but it doesn’t feel right. It doesn’t feel complete. And I’m left with this sense that there will still be another chapter next week, that Amano will just come back and say, “Sorry, April Fools, I’m going to continue!” because there have been points before that have almost felt like that, and yet underlying all that is the sense that it’s actually over. After six years of Katekyo Hitman Reborn and all it’s wonderful characters, plots and lessons being a major part of my life, it’s actually over.

…Endings. Not particularly enjoyable, and not always how we want them to go. But necessary, I suppose, in this thing we call life.

I want to help make this happen for him.  Ethan is possibly the sweetest man I’ve ever met and I know it would make him smile (and possibly laugh) if we could do this.  If you are happy to donate or sell on the mug you can contact me on my Facebook by private message, on twitter or by using my ask box on tumblr.  If you need any help in remembering or knowing what this item looks like, here’s a picture for you:

Anyone wishing to donate the mug, I’ll reply with my address for it to be forwarded to so I can pass it onto our mutual friend.  Anyone wishing to sell on the mug, leave your name, the price you want for it and a way to contact you and I’ll pass the information on to our mutual friend.

Someone out there must have this.

Apparently I am a bad person, for not accepting someone’s rape fetish.

For some backstory. The Brony Thank You Project is a project that recently came out with an ad to air on The Hub, a children’s network that shows their favorite cartoon, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic. They featured a few fans, men and women and children, for their initial ad, and then because of the way they funded the project, they allowed some short videos of fans thanking My Little Pony for existing. All well and good, until I saw one particular username in the credits, a person with the handle of balddumborat.

This person is a big name fan, who is known for providing a fan voice for an infamous character, as well as the artist behind Ask Discord Whooves and Ask Zerum.

And I objected to their inclusion in the ad, that was due to air on a children’s network, because in the fandom it is very well known that they have a rape fetish, and exhibit it through the Ask Zerum blog, which is entirely dedicated to the rape and abuse of a canon character. I made a post, without tagging, stating how I found their inclusion in this ad disgusting and irresponsible on the part of the ad’s creators.

The post promptly blew up on me, from fans of this BNF.

I made it very clear as to why I find their fetish for rape disgusting, being a survivor of rape and sexual abuse, and that I despise any glamorization of rape and abuse, even from other survivors.

Now, it isn’t necessarily the existence of a person having a rape fetish that immediately disgusts me, even though that is upsetting, but more the fact that this person makes it openly clear in the fandom that they hold this fetish, going so far as to create media in support of this fetish, and shutting down any critique of their blog with, “This is how I deal with my desires!”

And I know that sexuality after being raped or sexually abused is complicated.

But when a non-survivor tells me that my open dislike for rape fetish and the people who hold that fetish, is akin to fundamental bigots trying to shut down trans* people, LGB people, and so on and so forth, from discussing their issues, there is a goddamn problem.

This is why I have such an issue with how the topic of kink shaming is dealt with. It’s a bit like sex positive feminism, honestly. The initial idea is good, but then it’s twisted in such a way that it can be used to hurt others. When a survivor objects to rape, abuse, anything along those lines as someone’s fetish, they’re kink shaming, which is bad bad bad. All discussions are shut down when it comes to someone’s kinks, because those are above criticism for some reason.

Maybe I’m just watching and reading the wrong stuff, but this is disheartening to hear, as a survivor.

I can’t say I don’t mind that this person has a rape fetish. But I remember survivors deal with our issues differently, so I keep my mouth quiet.

I do mind that this person has aided in others fetishizing rape and abuse, by creating Ask Zerum.

And I mind that the ad that will be airing on a network for children, has involved this person as well.

It is inappropriate, plain and simple.

And if I’m a bad person for thinking this, for getting angry that someone has created media dedicated to their rape fetish, for calling out the issues with including this person in an ad meant to run on a children’s network, then so be it.

But hell if I’m going to shut up about it just because it causes waves in the fandom. Bronies aren’t going to intimidate me, and I will continue to call out fucked up shit if and when I see it.