Telling you that I miss you is not something new because you already know I miss you – all the time. I can´t stop thinking about you, even if I try my hardest to think of something else. You never seem to leave my thoughts. You are my most constant memory. I think missing someone who is absent is the saddest feeling of all.

I must confess how happy I am to have you back in my life. How good it feels to love you. And, even though you are half way across this vast country and not here by my side, the affection and passion that surrounds us is strong. I see it in our texts and emails; I hear it in our phone calls; I see it during LiveCall; and most importantly I feel it everyday in my body and soul.

You know, loving you and being loved by you is the best feeling I’ve ever experienced in my life. 

♥

Here at the risible reporter, there’s nothing I love more than audience participation. It’s something I encourage thoroughly, whether it comes in the form of comments, or articles, I’m happy when someone feels compelled enough to want to be featured on here. So it’s my pleasure to introduce a guest review of Supergrass’ album of the same name.

Supergrass, by Supergrass, released 1999
Sound: Otherwise known as the X ray album due to the cover, I’ve had this for about 9 years. I bought just after it came out. But only recently have I actually listened to it properly. Now it is a firm favourite. The retro feel to half of the songs and the musicianship and production throughout put Supergrass above bands in their genre at the time. For example, Oasis’ late 90’s material is not a patch on this.

Track By Track:
01.‘Moving’: is a song about the relentlessness and monotony of touring, and does brilliantly to illustrate just that. Musically and lyrically you get the impression of travelling, and not necessarily on a short purposeful journey, more a journey you feel wont end any time soon. I don’t mean this song drags on, far from it, just that the picture of spending an age on the road is vividly painted during the track.

02.‘Your Love’: is about the love of someone worth waiting for, even if at times the love is not always apparent. It’s a love song that is in no way cheesy, which is a good achievement. The dynamic between the meandering verse and the pounding chorus serves to bring out a raw passion for the person in the song.

03.‘What went wrong (in your head)’: as a song asks just that question, the verses interrogate you, the bridge with the ‘La la la…’ sends your head spinning, as if something is indeed wrong with it.

04.‘Beautiful People’: seems like a nod to inadequacy, possibly based upon the culture of celebrity and feeling the need to look amazing, and it almost mocks those who ‘can’t face all those people’. Along with ‘Your Love’, this track shows great ability to change between soft poppy verses to powerful rocky choruses, like a cleaner, tighter, more british grunge approach to the songs.

05.‘Shotover Hill’: is, oddly enough, a hill in Oxford, where the band are from, and clearly a spot one or more of the band must have frequented and drawn inspiration from, and very effectively at that.

06.‘Eon’: is quite a detached sort of song, with an intro part that, also appearing later in the song, sounds like it is building up to a climax it never quite reaches, leaving you wanting more but not getting it. As a result, it is a good song but no more, a filler track.

07.‘Mary’: along with ‘Moving’ is a favourite of mine, the first clearly retro song on the album, both in the music and lyrics. The simple yet catchy riffs from the keyboard and bass hold the song together, allowing the guitar and backing vocals to wander off on different tangents to great effect.

08.‘Jesus came from outer space’: is a solid, fun rock song, that sounds like it came about from a jam, and probably stayed that way. adding anything more to it would ruin it. Simple, and better for it.
09.Fast paced rocker ‘Pumping on your stereo’: or ‘Humping’ as it is pronounced on the record, is one of the big hits from the album, a great track to thrash out live. The clapping apparently came about when drummer Danny Goffey wasn’t hitting the snare hard enough during recording. Fittingly, at the end of the song, Goffey is heard to utter ”Can we go home now?”!

10.‘Born Again’: is quite a weak song in comparison to nearly all the rest, not a bad song by any means, but there isn’t a great deal else that can be said…

11.‘Far Away’ is another retro offering that would not look out-of-place on a Kinks or David Bowie set list. A great psychedelic track, the song that should have ended the album. But that honour goes to track 12.

12.‘Mama & Papa’, which is a shame as it is the poorest song on the album, a little retro sounding maybe, but in general there is nothing to it. This song should have been left off the album, although by the time you get to it, you’ll have ‘Moving’ and ‘Mary’ running round your head so the last track will just fly by. // 9 out of 10

Lyrics and Singing: Lyrically, the album doesn’t try to confuse or mystify you, and there are some really well written songs in terms of describing feelings, areas and society. Stand out tracks in this vein are ‘Shotover Hill’, ‘Mary’, ‘Beautiful People’ and the brilliant ‘Moving’. // 9 out of 10

Impression: ‘Born Again’ and ‘Mama and Papa’ are the only 2 weak songs on this album, and as a result they keep it from being the sort of album most bands couldn’t even dream of writing. Instead it is merely an album any band would be proud of.

If I lost it, I would definitely go down to the record store and re-purchase it. It would be part of a shopping list, for believe it or not, this is the only Supergrass album I own, and after really listening to it, I need to add to and ultimately complete my collection, soon. // 9 out of 10

Can miles truly separate us…? If you want to be with someone you love, aren’t you already there? If you love someone more then anything, then distance only matters to the mind, not to the heart.

♥

Love is the light that fills my soul whenever I think of you.

Lust is the fire that boils my blood making my skin a warm red hue.

Longing is the ache that breaks my heart because you are so far away.

Loss is the darkness in which I live without you every day.

♥

‘Cause you know, you know
That I love you
I have loved you all along
And I miss you
Been far away for far too long
 
- Nickelback “Far Away”

♥

/me listens to Nicki French – I’ll Be Waiting (Open Radio)

I know that you’ve been searching
And I hope you’ll find that star
Wish, I knew, why you’ve been hurting
Hope you find out who you are

You can run the whole world over
But when your searching days are through
Beyond the blue horizon
I’ll be waiting there for you

I know you’re always waiting
But for what you ain’t so sure
And you know my heart is aching
No one else could love you more

You can walk a million highways
But when your travelling days are through
Beyond your new tomorrow
I’ll be waiting there for you

I don’t know if you’ll be happy
Or if you’ll fall for someone else
You’ve gotta find out
Find out for yourself

You could roam the streets forever
But only one thing will be true
When your life has turned full circle
I’ll be waiting there for you

When you life has turned full circle
I’ll be waiting there for you

/me listens to Nicki French – I’ll Be Waiting (Open Radio)

For my profile subject, I was lucky. I have an instant in because his daughter Hilary is one of my best friends. So when I initially called Mr. Pollack, he suggested that I accompany Hilary to their house in Palo Alto (where she hangs out most Sunday nights even though she lives right here in the city), spend the night and then do all my reporting the next day, Monday.

So on Monday morning, I began the reporting process at around noon. I began by interviewing Mr. Pollack for the text story, and the main challenges there were all the phone calls he was getting, from friends or from his restaurant Nick’s Lighthouse in the city, that interrupted the flow of the interview. In the end that turned out to be OK because I got some priceless soundbites out of some of his phone calls that I ended up playing with during the making of my slide show.

I realized a mistake I made when I was putting together my slide show. When I asked Mr. Pollack to explain the vast number of photos of famous musicians and people he’s worked with over the years that line the walls of his office, I should have known how fast he would go. He explained everything so quickly and with such vigor that I got swept up in his descriptions and stories that I forgot about taking all the photos and closeups I should have. As a result, my slide show is a little lacking in detailed photographs of the things he’s explaining (although the soundbites are AWESOME). I should have thought of that before hand. I think the main reason why that happened was because I use my digital camera to record audio, so I can’t take photos simultaneously.

My advice to a future Digital News Gathering student is an obvious one: think about EVERYTHING before hand, and how you’re going to capture all the sound, information and visuals. Make a list if you need to detailing the process and steps. The worst thing in the world is feeling like you’ve missed something after the interview, when there’s no way to go back and make up for it (I just don’t have time to go down to Palo Alto again to make up the missed photos). No one likes to feel helpless.

It’s silly I know but I walk around with a goofy grin on my face; I bang into doors because I was so engrossed reading text messages from you and I would laugh out loud WHILE reading the same messages. I think about you and wonder what are you up to and wonder if you’re thinking of me or missing me the same way that I’m missing you…

Chicklet thinks that’s its weird to see me walking around smiling like a freak.

I think you’re funny and strangely-smart. I enjoy having you around and I love the fact that you make me smile … and laugh … and believe me … and know me … my children love it too because they see me smiling again and know I’m happy.
 
Play with me, laugh with me, miss with me… 

♥

My intention was to write to you every day. But life seems to get in the way sometimes. It doesn’t mean, and you know this, that I’m not thinking about you. I miss you all of the time and I am always thinking of things I want to tell you. Everything reminds me of you – even brushing my teeth or washing the dishes or other seemingly banal activities that few people would associate with love. Perhaps its just that I long to have you here with me (or there – or anywhere really) for every moment, exciting or not.

♥

I’m so very glad you commented on my blog that day in July; it allowed us the opportunity to begin again. Even though it was necessary for us to walk separate paths, I’m delighted our paths have merged into one and we continue the journey together.

When I first heard this song on the radio, back in the Fall of 2007, it reminded me of you. Over the past two years whenever I heard this song it brought back memories of you, of us. You were always in the scenes my mind replayed and my mind replayed the scenes often.

Because the moments I can feel you near
They keep you close to me my dear
Now you’ve gone away
Don’t worry it’s ok
That you’re gone away
Further than yesterday
But you’ll never leave these scenes
My mind replays

Where in the world have you gone now? Where in the world…

-Finger Eleven 

♥

all the things you promised you’d tell me
became all the things i knew you’d never say
and suddenly i realized
it wasn’t you i was missing
it was who i thought you were
because when i really took a breath
to think about it
it dawned on me that
you weren’t who i thought you were
and in the end 
you lost more than i did

This picture says it all.

♥

You’re so far away.

♥

As I sit here at my computer typing away, I think about you and how you’re thousands of miles away. My life goes on, but you’re what is missing… everyday.

I miss you.

I love you.

 ♥

i’m sure everyone’s known about these guys for 5 billion years already but i just started getting into them and i am OBSESSED with this song right now:

a dingo ate my baby!

no, the song is not called “a dingo ate my baby” that’s just me attempting to be clever.  click the photo of the band to see an (unofficial) video of the song that is playing on repeat in my brain right now.

reasons why i enjoy cut/copy:

1. they’re australian (i’m secretly obsessed with australian accents).

2. they sound like a 2.0 version of an 80s band.  LOVES IT.

3. the tunes are good for dancing AND brooding.

in the wise words of aaron neville and linda ronstadt:  i don’t know much, but i know i love you, and that may be all i need to know.

the soul finds not what it seeks
when the world’s
closed the door

days have turned
to weeks,
yet sometimes
when i see the moon
reflecting off the stars,
i still think
i can feel you
within my heart …

but i know
not to hang my hat
on hope

There is just something about you that makes me feel at ease and open to love. It’s hard to describe the emotion churning inside my body. It is like a delicate thunderstorm. With every text, every email, every phone call, the storm gets stronger. The lightning strikes and my body longs for you. The thunder roars and memories of your kiss, your touch, your taste… they all overwhelm me. All I can do is close my eyes for a few seconds and savour the memory before it fades away.

Oh, I have missed you dearly today.

With just your words, you have made my heart soar and my body tingle with anticipation of your warmth.

Baby, you are amazing.

I love you.

♥

She decided, this time to win the Greatest Game Ever Played.
She knew the perfect opponent to pick, the player who never strayed.

He owned the game and she’d been hurt at it,
It wasn’t a situation he would forfeit.

And so when she asked him ‘What the rules for the Game may be?’
He said ‘Whatever you want them to be’

He thought he couldn’t lose at a game invented by him
And she thought she couldn’t lose if the rules were hers.

His only condition: ‘No one knows about this but you and me’
Hers: ‘You can’t fall in love with me’

The rules and conditions were quickly agreed upon,
Coz it fit what they each wanted right from the dawn.

And so the Game started, and for sure it was like no other.
No candlelit dinners, no long walks and surely no promises of forever.

Such an easy relationship they had never known,
where regrets and emotional burdens were never borne.

She cherished her little secret; glad the world didn’t know every bit of her life,
He loved that she didn’t cling, and that to pamper her he didn’t have to strive.

So ‘blissed’ were they in their assumed victories approaching fast,
Neither realized the day either should have won was long past.

Alas! As happens often, when things are going too right,
Reality hit them right in the face with a light shining too bright.

While they still followed each of her rules to the book,
The conditions, they both seemed to have let off the hook.

They both wished to share their joy with a world so down in sorrow,
They each had started to wish a little more for tomorrow.

But he still thought the game was his,
She thought she could still bend the rules slightly and still win.

Until one day he could take it no more,
And said to her ‘This game doesn’t seem like mine any more. It has to end’

She knew she could take it either way now, maybe give herself another chance,
But she said instead ‘The rules are still mine, and the ball is now at your end’.

They both knew what had happened. She had given him the ‘trump’ card.
If he wanted to keep this game on, he’d have to initiate their steps on this boulevard.

He still thought the game was his, and could not let her win.
Even as he felt his heart break he said ‘Game over’ and left her in the din.

Neither had lost, but no one won. The game left at a stalemate. The pawns stuck in their places with no place to go.
He was out wondering if the Game was ever worth his state. She sat writing her story so that the world would know.

A day passed, and then some.
They each realized the Game lost would not have felt so lonesome.

They bumped into each another one day, while their lives were still a mess.
At a romantic diner overlooking the beach none the less.

The irony not lost on them, they smiled honest smiles,
They fumbled over the first few words that seemed to lessen between them the miles.

Finally, he asked her ‘What the rules this time may be?’.
She smiled and said ‘Sill what I shall want them to be’

~

Song Recommendation: ‘Far Away’ by NickelBack

]]> http://sleeplessforanhour.wordpress.com/2009/11/29/recent-poetry/ Mon, 30 Nov 2009 06:06:31 +0000 Brenda http://sleeplessforanhour.wordpress.com/2009/11/29/recent-poetry/

Writing must be in my bones and blood because I feel so guilty and detached every time I don’t. I haven’t written a poem in…well, you wouldn’t believe me if I told you. But the truth is that I can’t tell you because I forgot. I have thought of poetry in my head but I’ve gotten very lazy about writing it down. This one, I think, I wrote the day before yesterday. It needs editing and fixing, but since it hasn’t been edited OR fixed, I call it organic material. From me, to you. Enjoy whatever there is of it to enjoy, please! Oh and by the way, the title is I Keep Loving you, but I’d rather keep it untitled cause I don’t like the title. I’ll think of something.

It is not by choice that I am drifting,
and turning into a bit of fog that runs
away every time you think you catch it.

If you are afraid of what you cannot give
to me in return for the fire I light in your eyes,
then pour any little bit of love you have
into a prayer.

And let the prayer arrange our love.
I may seem like a haze of nothing to you now,
but remind yourself always that love has never
had anything to do with distance.

Have I ever told you that when I watch you speak to me through bytes and ram, I imagine your voice, whispering into my ear?

Have I ever told you that I wait out each day in anticipation, wanting only an hour or so, just a second in space and time, to feel close to you?

Have I ever told you that there has been times when I’ve ached for you, ached for you so badly, that the emotions overwhelmed me.. and so I sat and cried?

Have I ever told you that sometimes, I will reach out, touching your name on this cold screen before me, wishing I could reach in and pull you to me?

Have I ever told you that I would give everything up, just for one night to be able to lay near you, to feel your chest rise and fall with each breath you take?

Have I ever told you that I dream of you often, I dream of you reaching out and touching my hand, simply to let me know that you are there, and everything is okay?

Have I ever told you how much I love you?

♥

You kiss me and you think the harmony it brings me is enough. But what about the aftermath of the kiss? What about the mass of feelings I get when I go back and remember that I’m not really yours. That it is just for a moment when you come unannounced. That you’re only a ghost that will leave and go back. To wherever you came from. And that place isn’t with me.

I know now it is too late. Even if my desire to ask you to come to your senses and pick me back up was greater than it is, I can’t tell you anymore. Because you have been out of my life and I don’t know how to squeeze myself back in. Why did I let this much time go by? I thought it was right. And now it’s too late, both ways. Too hard to go back, too painful to move forward. So what do you expect me to find in my future? I’m full of questions. Are you? It’s a stabbing pain when I think at night of how you are everything good without me. And that you’ll be okay. I pray for your happiness but still ask whoever is up there in the sky, why can’t that happiness be with me?

Look at the things you make me write. Look at the way you make me cry. Do you think I want to feel unhappy? No. Not one inch of me wants to cry every night and miss your presence, your advice, and your talking. Not one tiny little part of me wants to wonder what you’re doing, with who, and how. And not one last minute wants to be spent alone. And I want things to look up. I want school to be done with so I can go on to do what I realized I want to do with the rest of my life. I want my family to be happy and healthy. I want to have the friends I’m building up to have. I want all that. But I’m not having it because the fact that I’m still mourning over you has every wilting effect on me it can possibly have. I don’t energy, motivation, or desire to do any of those things. The progress is what I’m dreaming of, but I’m not getting any of it.

Come by sometime soon. Remember that I still exist. Make a little room in your life. I was that girl you kissed.

I just want you to know I really dislike this experience, the often unsettling unpredictability of time and space. We spend a lot of our days and nights waiting as time shifts between the zones. We have moments together, but they’re always painfully fleeting. It will be so nice - thirty days from now - to have you in my time zone, my arms, my bed. Very nice indeed.
 
I love YOU.

♥

The distance may be great and all we have is the phone. Sometimes we stay up extremely late, like last night. Hearing your voice makes my sleepiness the next morning worth it. Emails, texting and talking will just have to make-do.
 
I’ll keep dreaming of us, until we can see each other again. (Christmas isn’t that far away) Being with you is all I think about. I get butterflies in my stomach, just at the mere thought of you. Did you know, you left me awestruck that weekend in November?

Distance may be great but I’ll always love you forever, I promise. 

♥

Una rebelde, en eso me he convertido, lucho por lo que quiero y te quiero a ti, y te voy a tener no importa lo que presumas, no importa que lo niegues, sabes perfectamente que no tendrás jamás el mismo placer con nadie, solo conmigo.

Aunque huyas, te voy a alcanzar, aunque te escondas, te voy a encontrar.

Ha comenzado la revuelta.

De nada vale que te pongas en guardia, entraré de todas formas en tu territorio y arrebataré lo que es mío.

Tu cuerpo, tu alma, tu corazón, todo me pertenece.

Usaré los trucos más sucios, desvestiré mi cuerpo y me mirarás, tendrás que hacerlo, no hay para donde huir.

Parada frente a ti te muestro mi piel, me toco despacio, tu respiración comienza a agitarse, gotas de sudor recorren tu cara lentamente, camino unos pasos hacia ti y retrocedes, pero te topas con pared.

Acerco mi boca a tu oído y te susurro -¿quieres tocarme?-, escapas, buscas la forma de salir pero no hay salida, ya no la hay.

Ordeno con voz firme que te detengas y lo haces, y entonces vuelvo a acercarme y toco tu entrepierna, todo indica que a pesar de la lucha que llevas en tu mente, ya no puedes hacer nada con la lucha que llevas en la sangre.

Levanto la mirada y tus ojos están furiosos, pero antes que digas palabra alguna, llevo tu verga a mi boca y entonces haces lo de siempre, agachas la cabeza hacia atrás y dejas que yo me deleite con cada uno de esos 15 centímetros -¿o son 17?- de carne jugosa y ardiente.

Ya inició el levantamiento.

Aún cuando tus manos empujan mi cabeza con cierta fuerza, el temblor en tus piernas me indica que aún titubeas en entregarte, y entonces mis uñas se clavan en tus nalgas y tu enojo no se hace esperar –¡maldita seas!-, y mientras sigues con le résistance, yo te aprieto con más fuerza, como buen soldado tratas de esquivar las balas, pero he fijado mi objetivo y no logras evadirme  y entonces… la ira te hace encender, me empujas, me tiras al piso, te deshaces de tu ropa y te dejas caer sobre mi.

La revolución ha empezado.

Un enfrentamiento de cuerpos se lleva a cabo en esa cama, quieres escarmentarme, -¡castígame, castígame!-, con una mano abres mis piernas y es entonces que siento hundirse tu arma más poderosa dentro de mi, grito, me has sometido, tu verga entra y sale a tu voluntad, la dejas fuera haciendo que la desee, que la pida, que la implore, y te ruego –¡cógeme, anda por piedad!- pero no lo haces, solo hasta que trato de insubordinarme nuevamente es cuando vuelves, ahora hasta el fondo, ahora con más fuerza, acostado totalmente sobre mi, muerdes mis hombros, lames mi oreja, mi cara, quiero besarte pero no me das tus labios, -a las putitas rebeldes no se le cumplen deseos-, me dices, y mientras yo me retuerzo, me enfado, me caliento aún más.

El combate continúa.

Por un momento logro tener el control de vuelta, he tocado tu punto débil y flaqueaste, ahora voy sobre ti, te monto como a un potro y quieres desbocarte, pero no te dejo, ahí sobre tu vientre comienzo a moverme, el contacto de mi coño con tu piel me hace gotear, hace que mi piel se erice y entonces tomo tu fúsil cargado y lo hago entrar, y ahora si, nos desbocamos, y aunque trato de evitar descargarme no puedo y lo hago, la miel brota y se escapa por tus costados, entonces tu te aprovechas de mi blandura y me amenazas con la retirada si no obedezco tus órdenes.

La batalla se prolonga.

-Ponte en cuatro, perrita-, y cedo, te has puesto tras de mí y tus manos recorren mi cuerpo sin miramientos, tocas a tu antojo, rasguñas y luego acaricias, inspeccionas y un dedo inquisitivo se introduce en mi interior haciéndome jadear al instante, -te gusta, lo sé- dices, y metes uno más, mientras esos dos dedos preparan el terreno, tu otra mano está trabajando en tu falo, jalando y alistándolo para la lid. Y vuelves a la carga, siento que me partes, tengo que morder la almohada, tu verga se ha ido por otro rumbo y no es más mi coño el que está en pugna, ahora mi culo siente la refriega, los dos estamos al límite, los dos sabemos que no nos queda más tiempo, y es cuando me rindo y te suplico que me des el tesoro que he estado buscando desde un principio, por tus movimientos y tus gemidos sé que el torrente está por llegar y levanto las nalgas y te preparas, apuntas y…..

La contienda terminó.

Combo!

Ya sé que es raro escuchar un relato escrito por un hombre en voz de una mujer, pero les va a gustar…. denle click!

TE RECUERDO

Autor: Lector Anónimo

Voz: Vutter

Canción de fondo: Far Away – Nickelback

Y ya.