Ich habe ja kein Falterabo, im Gegensatz zu vermutlich der Häfte der regelmäßig das Museumsquartier besuchenden Menschen Wiens, und ich freue mich, dass Menschen mir dennoch zutragen, was sich dort ereignet, bevor ich den Falter selbst erwerbe. Nur der Chronologie halber sei hier berichtet, was im Falter Nr. 48/09 vom 25.11.2009 in der Rubrik ‘Falter & Meinung’ zu lesen war.

FM4-Moderator Martin Blumenau, so schrieb man im Falter auf Seite 4, habe in seinem Journal am 18.11. in einem Blog-Eintrag die „Ehrenrettung eines Holzmedien-Opfers“ übernommen. Blumenau bezöge sich dabei auf eine Falter-Meldung , welche an dortiger Stelle (also im Heft 47/09) von der Verleihung des Wolfgang-Lorenz-Gedenkpreises berichtet hätte.

Der FM4-Moderator, so der Falter (48/09), habe durch die ironische Formulierung, dass Falter-Redakteurin und Jurymitglied Ingrid Brodnig „mit letzter Kraft verhindert“ hätte (Falter-Meldung 47/09), dass Chefredakteur Armin Thurnher „abgepreist wurde“ (Falter-Meldung 47/09), die journalistische Kompetenz der Autorin diskreditiert gesehen.

Zweierlei Wettspielchen habe ich diese Woche gegen mich selbst gespielt.

Erste Wette: Würde der Falter, das alte Holzmeerschwein, reagieren? Ich war mir nicht sicher – Tendenz zu nein, aber hier irrte ich mich. Auch Holzmeerschweinchen lassen keinen Stimulus vorüberziehn!

Zweite Wette: Wenn der Falter reagieren würde, worauf würde er sich beziehen – auf die Stimme des FM4 Moderators Blumenau, oder würde er auch Stimmen aus der Blogosphäre ( z.B. meine) einbeziehen? Hier war ich mir sicher: Der Falter (als Blatt, nicht bezogen auf einzelne RedakteurInnen) kommuniziert nur auf Augenhöhe, bzw. auf dem Niveau, das er als solche missversteht: Man spricht nur mit JournalistInnen (bzw. wirbt ausgwählte Reaktionen ein, die erst später den Eingang ins Web finden).

I win! Public sphere loses

Wie beurteilte Gerald Bäck dies heute so schön:

Seite 4 im Falter über die @brodnig @martinblumenau #wolo09 Diskussion ist leider wiedermal richtig schwach.

Nuff said.

If life were not only absurd, but comically absurd then it would make everything a whole lot better. If absurdity really is “everyday life taken to the illogical extreme” then we are living in absurd times. I don’t mean that in a hostile way, it is merely my observation. The only thing that I am concerned about is that things are not as funny as they could be.

We find ourselves laughing at life’s extreme behavior. For example; when a simple intent is blocked by ridiculously inconceivable obstacles and then the hero experiences a myriad of ironic adventures, finally leaving us at least chuckling if not laughing out loud as they bumble away. This is true of any and all things that we witness; love, war, politics, philosophy, etc.

It is particularly amusing when conflicting philosophies meet. The warriors will set up the most meager of camps, abandoning all that can weigh them down; logic, compromise, empathy – listening and hearing. These are not useful when you’re on a one dimensional battlefield where the stakes are high comedy.

What I am wondering is, why is everyday life, which is as absurd as anything we can imagine on stage, screen or in text or song and which we now are bearing full witness to, not generating the laughter it so deserves? The bottom line is that you really only need two things for this absurd farce to work. You have to be able to see yourselves in the story and you can’t forget that you are NOT in the story.

I just figured it out. We are the absurd.

Albert Dupontel est le Vilain ! Pas vraiment étonnant au regard des frasques que le bonhomme se permet sur les plateaux télé en pleine promo, et surtout dans ses films. Ici, et après l’échec artistique d’Enfermés dehors, son précédent effort, l’acteur-cinéaste renoue avec la férocité de Bernie, et l’application formelle du Créateur, accouchant d’une comédie à la fois drôle (bel exploit pour une production française) et intelligente, au regard de ce que la fable mise en scène propose de discours critique envers l’immoralité de nos sociétés basées sur le profit. Dans Le Vilain, Dupontel incarne un malfrat en cavale, qui trouve refuge un peu par hasard chez sa mère (Catherine Frot, comme souvent parfaite), qu’il n’a pas vue depuis vingt ans. Celle-ci consacre le gros de sa vie à lutter contre un projet immobilier qui menace à court terme son quartier et sa maison. Une vie qui d’ailleurs semble bien chevillée à son corps, à son grand désespoir du reste. Quand son brigand de fils revient vivre chez elle, elle comprend alors que Dieu la punit d’avoir enfanté un être aussi détestable, incapable de faire une seule bonne action qui ne soit pas intéressée. Elle va alors tout faire pour y remédier.

La première qualité du Vilain est de limiter le champ de ses actions à une petite galerie de personnages. Alors que Jean-Pierre Jeunet vient de signer le film le plus creux de sa carrière, la faute à une sur-abondance de protagonistes secondaires totalement inutiles et inconsistants (la pauvre Yolande Moreau en est réduite à bien peu de choses), Dupontel fait l’inverse, et ne filme dans un premier temps que l’affrontement entre son personnage et cette mère bien décidée à se venger de tout le mal que son fils a pu commettre par le passé. Cela donne lieu à quelques gags drôles et inventifs (les pièges de la tortue et de l’escalier), où chacun essaie de mettre à mal l’autre sans pour autant réussir à parvenir à ses fins. Viennent se greffer à ce couple improbable, quelques seconds rôles sympathiques et atypiques, dont l’ancien médecin de famille aujourd’hui dépressif (Nicolas Marié, remarquable dans le comique de répétition chirurgical), un inspecteur de police pataud (Bernard Farcy), et surtout l’entrepreneur immobilier sans scrupule, qu’incarne un Bouli Lanners présent dans tous les bons coups d’un cinéma francophone versusien, c’est-à-dire engagé et enragé (un an après Louise-Michel où il se trouvait cette fois-ci du côté des opprimés). Car Le Vilain, dans sa dernière bobine, déplace son intrigue du conflit familial vers celui qui oppose le quartier au projet immobilier. Dans cette affaire, le fils indigne y voit la possibilité de voler un beau paquet d’argent avant de s’arranger une nouvelle fuite. Il finira malgré lui par associer ses efforts à ceux de sa mère prête à tout pour garder ses biens. Dupontel filme ainsi la révolte des petits face aux grands, avec une iconographie des plus simplistes mais du meilleur effet. La vieille maison de Catherine Frot sent la naphtaline, les canapés en velours, et le service à thé impeccable. Ces images d’une vieille France ne font pas fantasmer (elles ne possèdent heureusement pas le caractère nostalgique et puant de celles de Micmacs à tire-larigot ou du Petit Nicolas), mais elles laissent toute de même plus de place à l’humain que le centre commercial prévu à sa place.

Le souci majeur d’Enfermés dehors venait de sa mise en scène nerveuse, qui rajoutait une couche de burlesque superflue plutôt que de rendre le tout encore plus drôle, faisant ainsi déborder le métrage d’un trop-plein cartoonesque très vite lassant. Avec Le Vilain, Dupontel semble avoir trouvé le juste milieu, réservant ses sautes d’humeur stylistiques pour quelques occasions précises, et se contentant d’une forme plus classique la plupart du temps. Il n’en demeure pas moins que le cinéaste s’amuse, et nous avec, à filmer la confrontation entre son personnage et sa mère comme les Tom & Jerry d’Hanna et Barbera, toujours à se courir après en se dressant des pièges monstrueux et hilarants. Dupontel nourrit ainsi son scénario relativement plat (mais pas creux !) d’inventives et savoureuses trouvailles humoristiques, accouchant de l’une des meilleures comédies de l’année. Le Vilain consacre le retour, après quelques errements, d’un Dupontel en pleine forme, redevenu le clown facétieux d’un cinéma comique français en manque de références pérennes.

Julien Hairault

> Sortie le 25 novembre 2009

> Lire aussi notre dossier sur le réalisateur / acteur dans VERSUS n° 9

Bande-annonce du Vilain

Conservative political poster

Labour political poster

I despair.

This is not just a rhetorical flourish, I really am thinking of emigrating. Some country where they don’t have Cameron, Brown or Jedward.

Possibly Afghanistan?

(story and title lifted from WSC’s messageboard)

Hackers broke into the electronic files of one of the world’s foremost climate research centers this week and posted an array of e-mails in which prominent scientists engaged in a blunt discussion of global warming research and disparaged climate-change skeptics.

The skeptics have seized upon e-mails stolen from the Climatic Research Unit of the University of East Anglia in Britain as evidence that scientific data have been rigged to make it appear as if humans are causing global warming. The researchers, however, say the e-mails have been taken out of context and merely reflect an honest exchange of ideas.

University officials confirmed the data breach, which involves more than 1,000 e-mails and 3,000 documents, but said they could not say how many of the stolen items were authentic.

“We are aware that information from a server in one area of the university has been made available on public websites,” the statement says. “We are extremely concerned that personal information about individuals may have been compromised. Because of the volume of this information we cannot currently confirm what proportion of this material is genuine.”

Michael E. Mann, who directs the Earth System Science Center at Pennsylvania State University, said in a telephone interview from Paris that skeptics are “taking these words totally out of context to make something trivial appear nefarious.”

In one e-mail from 1999, the center’s director, Phil Jones, alludes to one of Mann’s articles in the journal Nature and writes, “I’ve just completed Mike’s Nature trick of adding in the real temps to each series for the last 20 years (i.e., from 1981 onwards) and from 1961 for Keith’s to hide the decline.”

Read the Rest

Bite _ better informed takeaways & eateries

Bite is an award for food outlets that provide safe and healthy food for customers.

Un magnifique projet commandé par le gouvernement australien de la région du Queensland, au programme : graphisme, audio et vidéo. Le projet en lui-même peut paraitre séduisant, certes, mais je travaille pour Visual Obsession – Leader auto-proclamé en multimédia et reconnu officiellement d’une affligeante médiocrité. On pourrait croire que je leur crache dessus ? Oui, je leur crache dessus ; au visage même.

Identité graphique “Bite” réalisée par Marc-Antoine Russo.

Voyez plutôt :

Oh oh oh ! Qu’est-ce qu’on s’amuse à Visual Machin.

Et histoire de montrer que je ne fais pas que des conneries, je vous mets quand même la brochure dans son ensemble.

{Extérieur}

{Intérieur}

Vous imaginez bien qu’il y a un pliage particulier, rien de bien sorcier (juste faire en sorte que la trame en “+” soit complète sur l’un des volets de la brochure).

ps : j’ai une conscience professionnelle relativement poussée, simplement quand on me prend pour la dernière des merdes je ne me gêne pas pour me faire plaisir et m’amuser un peu. ^^

 

(CFD.net.au – Contract for Difference, Share, Forex, ETFs, Commodities Traders) –

October 9, 2009

Debate in the parliament in Brussels was marked by yelling matches, insults and theatrical walkouts, with Italian MPs siding with their leader after failing to have the session cancelled.

“This debate is an absurd farce,” said Mario Mauro, head of the group of Italian MP …

Source: Silvio Berlusconi | Italian leader"s media interests spark heated EU debate

Monday is our first read-through of Ray Cooney’s “It Runs in the Family.” Casting is always a headache for us as well as the actors. We need to look at more than just talent – age, height, hair color, how they all fit together on stage. It’s not a precise science, and we often make mistakes. I always feel bad about the actors we don’t cast, especially if I’ve worked with them before and like them. Although we auditioned actors 3 months in advance, we still had some casting issues early on. We really wanted to cast the lead role with a British actor, who is also a would-be Broadway producer and an amazing actor. He kept us dangling for a few weeks, which held up the casting. Once we finally realized we didn’t have him, we moved on to our second choice. He wound up quitting a month ago – a higher paying gig. We held another round of auditions, and were able to re-cast his part with an actor in our theatre’s current show. Then an actor in one of the supporting roles contacted us – he cited transportation problems as his reason for quitting. Fortunately, we were able to replace him by juggling around a couple other parts and adding in another actor we saw at the most recent audition. Finally, we have a complete, wonderful cast! And the British actor has volunteered to be our dialect coach.
I’ve worked with 5 of the 11 actors before and they all have good acting skills and are NICE people, which matters a lot in casting. Will keep this blog informed as to how everything turns out Monday.

Et la jeunesse qui cherche encore retrouve la sève dans la bouteille, la coke et la came en intraveineuse stupides programmes dans nos télés, une évasion artificielle on s’assoit puis on oublie on suit cette pute une allumeuse.
Le JT vient nous rassurer l’empire a peur et son emprise nous rend meilleurs d’ailleurs respire et calme toi tu comprendras c’est pire ailleurs.
La crise angoisse en ce printemps ensoleillé. Les valeurs chutent comme en 40. Mamie se planque et cache les liasses sous l’oreiller. Ca  me rappelle un T-shirt qui disait “Le capitalism ne s’effondrera pas tout seul aidons le”
On s’en rend compte aujourd’hui que l’argent n’existe pas
que Babylone a les dents longues.
Alors le mot d’ordre est passé allons manifester le 19 mars.
Porter des banderoles pour sauver  un système qui nous écrase. j’crois qu’on est juste cons dans cette vaste farce.
Le monde est sous pression et nous on maintient l’couvercle, comme si la crise pouvait nous toucher nous qui sommes heureux d’finir le mois avec seulement 100 euros d’ découvert. Mais voilà c’est comme ça on a peur du changement c’est humain, alors on laisse faire, on s’laisse couler on verra bien. Pendant qu’à côté d’nous ça bouge, néo nazis, la 3ème vague lève une main. Nous reste ces ineptes du moment d’oubli, de détente superficielle boîtes de nuit, consoles de jeux. Fêtes foraines entre pomme d’amour et barbe à papa. Lui a 14 ans, il est allemand, ce matin il part au collège avec son cartable et l’arme à papa. Aïe…
Pourquoi j’écris comme ça, il y a longtemps qu’je sais que je ne changerai pas la face du monde j’suis dans un parc entre un gosse de 10 ans qui fume une blonde et des ados qui parlent de kétamine. La kétamine est un produit qu’on utilise pour anesthésier les chevaux, les ados eux s’en servent pour tenter de trouver des rêves qu’ils pensent avoir perdu. Où sont nos rêves je n’en sais rien j’rêve de musique et d’évasion, souvent ailleurs la tête en l’air vers les étoiles et les avions. Prenant le slam en guise de femme cet art me sera salvateur, Disons que dans l’théâtre de ma vie mon optimisme est seul acteur. Pour en revenir au sujet où sont nos rêves un peu partout En cherchant bien au fond d’nous j’t'assure on trouve de tout. Voilà c’est fait, mais reste un truc là je n’sais pas comment j’conclue,
Alors j’ai appelé un pote, J’ai dit Polo où sont nos rêves, il a répondu dans ton cul.

Bravo.

Kakoo

“Røvrendt i Rom”

Sådan lyder min overskrift efter en farce af en kamp i den italienske hovedstad, hvor en korrupt fedladen hollandsk dommer fuldstændigt tog brodden af Fulham og praktisk taget forærede Roma sejren.

Men tilbage til starten af denne humongous skandale i det italienske, hvor hollandske Kevin Blom legede fandango midt på grønsværen.

Fulham sad solidt på løjerne i den italienske hovedstad gennem det meste af første halvleg, og kom fortjent foran allerede i det 19. minut, da målscoreren fra sidste opgør, Marco Andreolli, nedlagde en sprudlende Diomansy Kamara i feltet efter en kvik finte fra senegaleseren.

Kamara eksekverede selv sparket fra straffesparkspletten, og den store skare af Fulhams fans, der var taget til Rom, kunne juble sammen med spillerne på banen over den overraskende føring.

Bare fire minutter senere burde Roma dog have udlignet, da Phillippe Mexes brændte en kæmpe hovedstødschance efter Cicinho havde lagt et millimeter-præcist indlæg til franskmanden.

Fulham fortsatte, på trods af forskrækkelsen, ufortrødent med chancer til Kamara og Clint Dempsey, og burde have været foran ved pausen med 2-0 mod et Roma-mandskab, der stressede igennem hele halvlegen.

Fulhams pasningsspil var fremragende igennem alle 45 minutter, og jeg så nu frem til 2. halvleg, hvor de sidste søm skulle slås i ligkisten.

Dette blev dog forpurret af vores hollandske ven, Blom, der allerede efter fire minutter udviste Erik Nevland, som havde afløst en skadet Kamara i pausen, for en tackling bagfra midt på banen.

Nordmanden så ud til at trække sig i tacklingen, og der var ikke noget hensynsløst overhovedet i tacklingen, som helt sikkert var bemyndiget et gult kort, men rødt var ren og skær vanvid!

Så havde Fulhams angreb ligesom udspillet sin rolle, og der stod nu Roma-dominans på resten af kampen, mens Fulham-spillerne heroisk prøvede at forhindre de uundgåelige italienske scoringer.

I det 68. minut fik John Arne Riise hul på bylden, da hans skud heldigt reflekterede på brormand Bjørn Helge og snød Mark Schwarzer i Fulham-måket.

Otte minutter senere kom føringen, da det store brød, Stefano Okaka, headede Rodrigo Taddeis indlæg i kassen, selvom Schwarzer gjorde alt for at holde den ude.

Og med få minutter igen fik Paul Konchesky også marchordre, da han gik ind i en hård tackling på Taddei, men som ved Nevlands udvisning var udvisningen også af særdeles tvivlsom karakter.

Et hollandsk/italiensk burlesque show var forbi, og mens dommeren gik ned i italienernes omklædningsrum for at fejre deres sejr, måtte de slukørede Fulham-spillere indse, at korruptionen i høj grad stadig lever på italiensk grund…

En under kampen rasende Roy Hodgson havde følgende diplomatiske kommentar til kampens hovedperson, Kevin Blom:

You cannot be happy in the face of injustice. I accept the situation because the referee makes the decision but I’m not happy.I think the two red cards were very harsh. I didnt speak to the referee. I only spoke to the fourth official.

To play in the second half down to 10 men is a bitter pill to swallow.

But what can you do but accept the referee’s decision because it doesn’t change anything.

It was a fantastic performance from my players in the first half. We have been better than Roma when playing 11 against 11 in both games.”

Romas træner, Claudio Ranieri, kender tydeligvis ikke fodboldreglerne, da han kom med følgende kommentar til udvisningen:

“But I believe it was a red card as Nevland made the foul in a Roma counter-attack.”

Okay, der var så ti spillere bag bolden, og man plejer at få gult kort for et så ganske harmløst frispark, som Nevland begik, selvom det var en Roma-kontra! Men når det nu har været Ranieri selv, der har overrakt Kevin Blom en ordentlig pose Euro inden kampen, er det jo ikke så sært, at han forsvarer kendelsen (Ja, jeg er bitter!)…

Eventyret er måske forbi for Fulham i denne omgang!! To kampe igen mod CSKA Sofia på hjemmebane og Basel på udebane.

Kamp Fakta

Roma: Doni (Sergio 46), Riise, Cicinho (Taddei 46), Andreolli, Mexes, Cassetti, Pizarro, Guberti (Menez 66), de Rossi, Okaka, Baptista
Bænk: Motta, Perrotta, Cerci, Brighi.

Kort: Andreolli, de Rossi, Okaka

Mål: Riise 68, Okaka 76

Fulham (Karakterer efter 13-skalaen)

Schwarzer 8 – Havde et par fremragende redninger og var ganske uheldig ved begge mål

Pantsil 9 – Glimrende kamp, hvor han udviste stor sikkerhed i både pasningsspil og tacklinger.

Hughes 8 – Bundsolid burde være hans mellemnavn

Hangeland 10 – Skræmmende god til tider og havde kun en enkelt svipser gennem hele kampen

Konchesky 8 – Lidt sløv start men performede til UG indtil han fejlagtigt blev udvist af Kevin Korrupt

Dempsey 9 – Jernviljen lyste igennem, men manglede igen formatet foran mål.

Etuhu 10 – Eminent første halvleg hvor han formodentlig ikke satte en fod forkert. Nevlands udvisning kørte ham træt i anden og han blev udskiftet med Chris Baird i det 77. minut.

Greening 8 – Udmærket kamp af den langhårede playmaker, der også måtte trække et uforståeligt kort for et harmløst frispark.

Riise 8 – Lidt problemer med teknikken, men løb solen sort og kæmpede for alle bolde. Mere af samme skuffe tak! 

Gera 9 – Jeg har sagt det før, og jeg siger det igen: Gera har fundet formen! Har pludseligt erhvervet sig en glimrende teknik og et fortræffeligt pasningsspil.

Kamara 11 – Fantastisk i den halvleg han fik, før han måtte lade sig udskifte med en skade. Udstrålede vilje og fik hele tiden sin direkte oppasser til at se dum ud! Jeg vil kalde manden en “fattigmands Thierry Henry”! Class! 

Nevland UB – Første aktion ledte til et rødt kort, som aldrig skulle være givet! Der gik ren Phillip Degen og Liverpool i den!

Zamora UB - Indskiftet i det 70. minut uden at få noget som helst at arbejde med 

Chris Baird UB – Kom ind i slutfasen, fightede og fik en ostemad
Bænk: Stockdale, Anderson, Davies, Smalling.

Kort: Hangeland, Greening, Baird

Mål: Kamara 19

Udvisninger: Nevland (49), Konchesky (89).

Tilskuertal: 20,000

Dommer: Kevin Korrupt (Blom) 00

The Goracle, Chief Priest of the Cult of Anthropogenic Global Warming

I’ve often referred to the more enthusiastic proponents of the supposed dangers of man-made climate change as the Cult of Anthropogenic Global Warming, because, well, it seems more a matter of faith with them than anything based on empirical science.

I was ahead of my time.

Climate change belief given same legal status as religion

An executive has won the right to sue his employer on the basis that he was unfairly dismissed for his green views after a judge ruled that environmentalism had the same weight in law as religious and philosophical beliefs.

In a landmark ruling, Mr Justice Michael Burton said that “a belief in man-made climate change … is capable, if genuinely held, of being a philosophical belief for the purpose of the 2003 Religion and Belief Regulations”.

The ruling could open the door for employees to sue their companies for failing to account for their green lifestyles, such as providing recycling facilities or offering low-carbon travel.

The decision regards Tim Nicholson, former head of sustainability at property firm Grainger plc, who claims he was made redundant in July 2008 due to his “philosophical belief about climate change and the environment”.

In March, employment judge David Heath gave Mr Nicholson permission to take the firm to tribunal over his treatment.

But Grainger challenged the ruling on the grounds that green views were political and based on science, as opposed to religious or philosophical in nature.

John Bowers QC, representing Grainger, had argued that adherence to climate change theory was “a scientific view rather than a philosophical one”, because “philosophy deals with matters that are not capable of scientific proof.”

That argument has now been dismissed by Mr Justice Burton, who last year ruled that the environmental documentary An Inconvenient Truth by Al Gore was political and partisan.

The decision allows the tribunal to go ahead, but more importantly sets a precedent for how environmental beliefs are regarded in English law.

No kidding. Next step, a Law Against Green Heresy! No burning at the stake, however. Too big a carbon footprint…. 

UPDATE: Welcome readers of The Anchoress!

The Obama Administration told us we had to pass the $787-billion dollar Stimulus bill NOW!! in order to save and create jobs to blunt the worst recession in decades. Well the numbers are in:

• Money spent so far: $150,000,000,000
• Number of jobs created or saved: 650,000
• Price per job: $230,769.23

Only in a Washington controlled by statists who’ve never had to deal with economic reality in their lives could this be considered a worthwhile use of public money.

Can I have one? 

If you haven’t sussed it by now I’ll confess — I love a joke. Especially the really good giggle that makes me jiggle, or a rib-tickler that triggers maxi mirthquakes on a mega scale.
But it’s even better when the joke is subtle, very subtle, and only revealed looooong after it was perpetrated.

TO NOT DIGRESS: on this blog site people spout forth their opinions (I do it all the time, and hey, it’s FUN!) and we none of us ever have to take any of it seriously, we are free to employ the censor between our ears and decide how much credence to give.

So wherever possible (but not if I’m feeling liverish) I like to provide sources and references, to serve as a starting point for any thinker who might be hooked.

And what better hook than The Great Moon Hoax? Did the Americans (not all of them, just a few) really go to the moon a quarter century or so back?
I know intelligent people who say they did.
I know intelligent people who say they didn’t.
But whether they did or not is a moot point, I’m more concerned with the joke.

Because if they didn’t the joke is a good one — it would have to be the all-time bestest and greatest ever.
And if they did, there’s really only so-much moon rockery they could have brought back with them … I remember seeing a microscopic speck of ‘moon rock’ in the Auckland Museum; even behind a record setting lens it was just a dot that may or not have been grey. Those few rocks they brought back went a long way, I tell you (pun, but weak).

So if we Kiwis weren’t worth more than a passing dot, at least the Dutch were worthy of a whole (albeit tiny) rock to themselves?
The old “to have and to hold, in sickness or in wealth, for ever and ever amen” sort of thing?

And so the Hollanders themselves proudly thought; and why not, apparently the provenance was impeccable.

Until—

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/8226075.stm

—as I said before, I love a good laugh. The more custard pies airborne at any one moment the more I enjoy, slapstick is hard to beat … the only thing that can beat it is subtlety, as in the best of the best-laid plans of mice, men, and moon hoaxers.

KISMET
PS
The ages-old rule of museumry is always provenance, provenance, provenance …

PPS
Apparently there are enough pieces of ‘the true Cross’ in existence to reconstruct the Ark; perhaps if all the ‘moon rocks’ around the world were repatriated to a single location we could replicate the pyramids?

Johannes Hahn, seines Zeichens Wissenschaftsminister, wird der nächste österreichische EU-Kommissar*. Dazu gehen mir zwei Gedanken durch den Kopf.

1) Wie weit ist die SPÖ gekommen, dass sie für eine schwarze Kandidatin gekämpft hat, um einen anderen schwarzen zu verhindern? Wieso setzt sie nicht auf eigene Leute (von denen es, weiß Gott, genug qualifizierte gibt)? Stellt sich Faymann DAS unter Ecken und Kanten vor – der ÖVP den Kompromiss eines dritten Schwarzen abzutrotzen?

2) Johannes Hahn??? Ein Wissenschaftsminister, der darüber geklagt hat, dass es zu viele Studenten gäbe??? Das setzt dieser Farce ja die Krone auf.

Mittlerweile ist es peinlich, Österreicher zu sein. Bei uns werden nicht die Besten nach Brüssel geschickt – sondern entweder die, die man los sein will, oder die, auf die man sich nach ewigem Kuh-handeln einigen kann. Diese Provinzialität ist zum Davonrennen.

* Für meine deutschen Leser hier eine kurze Erklärung, wie es dazu kam. Der rote Bundeskanzler Werner Faymann hat der ÖVP in einem Kuhhandel versprochen, der nächste EU-Kommissar dürfte aus ihren Reihen kommen. Das rief vor allem bei den intelligenteren und weltläufigeren Genossen Kritik hervor, da das auf ziemliche Engstirnigkeit und Provinzialität im Denken des Kanzlers hindeutet. Das alles änderte aber nichts, bis die ÖVP auf die Idee kam, den schwarzen Ex-Vizekanzler Wilhelm Molterer vorzuschlagen. Der wiederum ist bei den Sozialdemokraten unendlich unbeliebt, er gilt als Symbol für Neoliberalismus und destruktive Parteipolitik. Da konnte nicht einmal Faymann  so tun, als wäre nichts. Deshalb schlug er vor, die bisherige schwarze Außenkommissarin Benita Ferrero-Waldner möge den Job doch weiterhin machen. Das wiederum war für die ÖVP schwer zu schlucken. Schlussendlich einigte man sich auf den, ebenfalls schwarzen, Wissenschaftsminister Hahn.

(CFD.net.au – Contract for Difference, Share, Forex, ETFs, Commodities Traders) –

Debate in the parliament in Brussels was marked by yelling matches, insults and theatrical walkouts, with Italian MPs siding with their leader after failing to have the session cancelled.

“This debate is an absurd farce,” said Mario Mauro, head of the group of Italian MPs in the conservative …

Source: Silvio Berlusconi"s media ownership sparks heated EU row | Business Breaking News | News.com.au

…how can that be?

My apologies to Dr. Seuss, but surely he wouldn’t have objected to being confused with Geoffrey Chaucer.   I’m thinking of  Hop on Pop’s line, “three fish in a tree?”  The Merchant’s Tale involves exactly that, in a tree. Sex, that is.

I haven’t read Chaucer since college, but I picked up a copy of The Canterbury Tales in a bookstore, and was enthralled.  The Middle English takes a while to get used to, you can’t get every word, and I don’t know how to pronounce it, but the rhythm of it carries you along nevertheless.  The edition I bought has the most obscure words glossed in the margin, and the hardest phrases explained at the page’s foot so you don’t have to be flipping to a glossary in the back all the time.  The link above is to an interlinear translation, but I find that annoying to read.

Oh yeah, back to the sex, er…the story.  The pilgrims tell stories to pass the time on the way to Canterbury.  The merchant tells one about a rich old man, January, who finally decides to get married.  Of course, he is set on marrying a young and pretty woman, and he takes the time to find just the right one, named May.  She consents – that’s the way things worked in those days.  It’s not all that clear just how well the old guy performs in bed with his well formed young wife.

Things being what they were, and are, she and a young man in the household develop some feeling for one another.  The old man goes blind, but he keeps up his favorite custom of making love to his wife al fresco in his walled garden with a gate.  Nobody there but the two of them,

And May his wyf, and no wight but they two;
And thynges whiche that were nat doon abedde,
He in the gardyn parfourned hem and spedde.

and they did things there that they didn’t do in bed.

The girl and her lover get a copy of the key to the garden, and the next time she goes there with the old man, the young one is waiting in the tree’s branches.  The tree is a fruit tree, a pear tree.  January, May.  A walled garden with a fruit tree, Eden and the apple (or was it a pear) tree?  A blind man, without knowledge of his wife’s adultery.  But they will eat of the tree.

The girl says she absolutely must have some pears, and the old man curses the absence of his servants to fetch her some.  She has an idea – he bends down and she steps on his back and climbs up into the branches to get the fruit.  Yes, she gets the fruit all right.  Up in the tree, her love is waiting, and he

Gan pullen up the smok, and in he throng.

In case you missed it, throng is the past participle of thrust. Once again, the tree of knowledge has brought its bitter fruit to bear on man.  I wonder also if this is an allusion to a famous passage in Augustine’s Confessions in which he recounts his youthful sin of stealing pears from a neighbors orchard.  And the image of a woman stepping on an old man’s back calls to mind another medieval image of man humiliated by woman.

Meanwhile, Pluto and Prosperine are observing the entire business from a corner of the garden.  Pluto vows that if May cheats on January, he will give the old man his sight back.  He wants men to be able to see the evil things woman do to them.  Prosperine, his wife, scoffs at his male chauvinist drivel, and sticks up for women.  If Pluto gives him his sight back, she will make sure that May can talk her way out the impasse.

January gets his sight – the scales drop from his eyes? – and he is infuriated.  May is ready with an answer.  You didn’t see what you think you saw.  After being blind for so long, it takes a while to get used to sight again.  You’re confused.  Really, you should thank me for being up here wrestling with this man – that’s what cured you!  I was told that is the way to restore your sight!

Nothing doing, cries January!

He swyved thee; I saugh it with myne yen,
And elles be I hanged by the hals!”
[He screwed thee; I saw it with my eyes
And else may I be hanged by the neck!]

May is a quick-witted girl.  She replies that if this is what he saw, then her cure wasn’t as good as she had thought.  Obviously, he still has vision problems.

So there we have it.  A little sex farce set in a modern (for then) Eden.  Woman tempts man again, the tree of kowledge brings sight, but having knowledge isn’t such a great thing all the time. Or do we really have the knowledge we think we do?

Turbid: 1. not clear or transparent because of stirred-up sediment or the like; clouded; opaque; obscured: the turbid waters near the waterfall.
2. thick or dense, as smoke or clouds.
3. confused; muddled; disturbed.

He projected such a calm face despite his turbid feelings

Farce: a light, humorous play in which the plot depends upon a skillfully exploited situation rather than upon the development of character.
foolish show; mockery; a ridiculous sham.

The fixed election was a farce.

Tress: long locks or curls of hair/ braid

Rinny is blessed with beautiful naural tresses.

Mayhem: random or deliberate violence or damage/ chaos
a state of rowdy disorder: Antagonisms between the various factions at the meeting finally boiled over, and mayhem ensued.

The little women in the crowd was outraged by the mayhem.

Snail’s pace: an extremely slow rate

The work progresses at a snail’s pace.

By Dalila Mahdawi
Daily Star staff
Friday, October 16, 2009

Une émission extrême japonaise a une surprise sur prise pour ce pauvre participant!