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Cooking for restaurant critics, would have to be the scariest task yet on MasterChef UK.  Why?  Because, even if you do not win MasterChef, the critics are your potential future guests, and they can make or break your career in cooking, even before it has started.  Therefore it is even more vital that you impress them.

In addition, the task is made harder, because it is not just about cooking one dish, but more about preparing a menu.  This is quite different.  You have to ensure, not only, that all three dishes are immaculately cooked and presented, but that all three dishes follow on from the other AND the dishes have to represent you, as a chef, and your style of cooking.

I think one thing that let me down as a contestant in MasterChef UK, was that I started to loose my ‘style’, and cooked food that I would not necessarily have eaten.  I know that sounds crazy now that I say it, but I was up against amazing cooks, and I am someone who likes to push my boundaries… inevitably I pushed them so much, that I lost my way.

So what would I have cooked for this round?  And why would I have choosen these recipes?

For the Starter I would have cooked Beetroot Gazpacho with Wasabi Ice Cream. Okay, so I know this is another weird Ice Cream – you must be thinking’ what is it with this girl and her weird Ice Creams’!  However, I was fortunate enough, that for my 30th Birthday I was taken to Heston Blumenthal’s; The Fat Duck.  An amazing experience, and for a foodie like me, I was in heaven! One of the dishes we had there was a Red Cabbage Gazpacho with Mustard Ice Cream, and that inspired me.  Within a couple of weeks of going to the restaurant, I had created this dish, and I have friends who rave about it!

For the Main I would have cooked Liquorice Lamb with Apricot and Fennel.  I have been cooking a Lamb, Apricot and Fennel tagine since I was a teenager.  I first got the recipe from Delia Smith‘s Food Aid Cookery Book.  And over the years, I have refined the dish, so that it still had the elements and flavours, but was less of a tagine, and more fine dining. I recently added the Liquorice, having seen Glyn Purnell cook a Fillet of Beef with Liquorice on The Great British Menu, and I think that Liquorice, Apricot and Fennel complement each other beautifully.

For the Dessert I would have cooked Pistachio Cake with Orange Sorbet.  I would have chosen this recipe because I know it is delicious, and light, and would cleanse the mouth nicely after the spicy main course.  However, I would have also have chosen this dessert because of timing as it has less processes involved.  Therefore, in theory, it would have allowed me to concentrate more on the other dishes, and ensure that I produced three excellent meals.

Beetroot Gazpacho with Wasabi Ice Cream

(Unfortunately I have not got a photo of this recipe, and I have not had the chance to make it this week – I will add the photo the next time I make it!  However, the above photo, is that of Heston Blumenthal’s, which inspired the recipe.  It looks extremely similar – although without the grains in the ice cream – it tastes different, but I can assure you, it tastes just as delicious!)

INGREDIENTS (serves 8)

For the Wasabi Ice Cream

250ml milk

250ml cream

4 egg yolks

25ml glucose

4 tbsp wasabi (clearspring wasabi Japanese horseradish powder)

For the Beetroot Gazpacho

2 kilo beetroot

2 large golden beetroot

10 apples to make: 600 ml apple juice from a juicer

10 beetroot to make 1 litre beetroot juice from a juicer

1 tbsp sherry

1 tbsp red wine vinegar

Caster sugar for season

Flaked Salt for seasoning

Ice

1 x large cucumber

METHOD

For the Wasabi Ice Cream:

Bring milk and cream up to boil.  Whisk egg yolks, glucose and wasabi, slowly add milk mixture, return to heat, and stir constantly until it reaches 84C.

For the Beetroot Gazpacho

Cook half beetroot, and golden beetroot in foil, placed on a tray lined with rock salt, and cook in 160C for 1 hour.  Leave to sweat in the foil for 10 mins, and peel.  Peel raw beetroot, and place all beetroot into a blender, with the apple juice and the beetroot juice.  Pass through sieve.  Put the liquid in a bowl over a bowl of iced water.  Season the soup with salt, until to your taste, adding a small amount at a time.  Add the sherry and vinegar and  a touch of sugar.  Sieve again, and refrigerate.   Check seasoning again when fully chilled.

For the Garnish:

Peel and seed the cucumber.  Chop into small cubes.

To Serve:

Place a small amount of cucumber onto the middle of a low bowl, and place a quenelle of ice cream on top of the cucumber.  Pour the Beetroot Gazpacho into a small serving jug.  Serve, and pour the Beetroot Gazpacho into the serving bowl at the table.

Scientists in the Netherlands who have begun to produce this ‘burger’ in the hope of creating a more efficient alternative to rearing livestock.  The hamburger will be fully formed by autumn.

The efficiency rate of cows and pigs of quite low at 15% and right now we are using 70% of our agricultural capacity to rear livestock.  In the next 40 years demand for livestock will double.  It is expected that the cost of test tube meat will go down to an affordable level.

The big question is whether vegetarians could eat or want to eat this burger. Vegetarians could theoretically eat the burger since no animals were killed in order to make it.  Professor Andrew Linzey, director of the Oxford Centre for Animal Ethics, doesn’t think that this is a suitable alternative for vegetarians.

Tv chef Heston Blumenthal has been chosen to serve this burger later this year.  The idea is for Blumenthal to prepare the burger for a mystery guest.

Would you eat a test tube burger?

National Chip Week

Content with staying healthy I’ll be indulging in “syn-free” chips from Slimming World. The homemade chips are especially easy to make and a real family favourite. The recipe swops deep fat frying for oven baking taking all the guilt out of eating chips. My top tip is to shake then bake, leave then in the oven until they get crispy round the edges.

In stark contrast the ultimate chippy chips have to be celebrity chef Heston Blumenthal’s triple cooked chips. Fluffy on the inside and crispy on the out these are the crème de la crème of chips and one of his ‘proudest legacies’.

As you can imagine the process of cooking these chips is classic Heston- a little more technical than usual, but there is a recipe which you can follow to create the TCC’s at home. Failing that treat yourself to some pub grub for scrumptious chips – Heston’s Fat Duck restaurant is the best!

We  ate our way through about 16 different dishes and do you know, I left a clean plate every time! Even the snail porridge.

There are many, many reviews of the tasting menu around so I’m not going to go there! Anyway who am I to ‘review’ Heston  Blumenthal? All I can say is this – the whole experience is out of this world. It’s an amazing blend of science and whimsy. Some of the dishes are scary – the frozen cocktail that you have to ‘down in one’ and dry ice comes out of your nose, some are spacy – like eating fish and foam while listening to the sound of seagulls and shingle.

Some are confusing….how can a drink be hot and cold at the same time?

Others are amazingly complex – a wafer of oaky taste that melts on your tongue to precede a dish of chicken liver parfait, quail jelly, crayfish cream and truffle toast…..oh, and a little lawn of green moss in front of you with a fog of oaky dry ice.

One of the desserts arrived with ‘Happy Birthday’ scribed along the plate which made me cry.

The bag of  ‘Sweet Shop’ delights at the end which made me laugh!

Whoever can invent a chocolate that tastes like a jam tart deserves a gold watch when he retires. But if it’s a Heston gold watch it will dissolve into a bouillon  to pour over the Mock Turtle soup! Mad as a Hatter………brillig!!

If that wasn’t enough, the recommended wines we chose were perfect, the service was impeccable and the bill was……….well who knows, we weren’t paying! All I know is that our children must love us very, very much!

The Hinds Head. The most unassuming pub from the outside.

thebigfatnoodle and I recently celebrated our 14^th wedding anniversary. Every year we seem to be semi-surprised to still be alive and kicking, so each year we seem to push the boat out a little further to celebrate. A couple of years ago, in our never-ending quest for gastronomic satisfaction,we visited The Fat Duck, Heston Blumenthal’s 3 Michelin starred restaurant in Bray.

This year, we wanted to visit Michel Roux’s place, The Waterside Inn, to compare, but we left booking too late. So we opted to try Heston’s pub in the village, The Hinds Head, which is a little more affordable, but equally impressive with the quality of its food: two thumbs up from us!

thebigfatnoodle says: “If you ever get a chance to go there yourself, you have to order the fillet steak with the bone marrow gravy. It was UNBELIEVABLE! I couldn’t take pictures (the pub was very busy and I felt too self-conscious taking pictures of the food) but trust me, it was amazing!”

The carpark for both The Fat Duck and The Hinds Head is where we think Heston’s ‘lab’ is located so the bigmonster naturally couldn’t resist taking a snap:

Heston's Secret Food Laboratory, complete with spy-grade reflective windows

After lunching in Bray, we drove onto Cliveden for a spa overnight-lazy-Sunday kind of thing. For those that don’t know, Cliveden (pronounced CLIV-den, not CLIVE-den) is a grand stately home, built ages ago, burnt down twice, rebuilt three times, and was the British country pile of the Astors, one of the original American billionaires, which was quite good going for the 1800’s. It was bought by William Waldorf Astor from the Duke of Westminster for £1.2 million, in 1893, so goodness knows what it would sell for today.

Treating ourselves to one night of luxury at the Cliveden.

Original Poodle Perm

It hosted luminaries of the day including Charlie Chaplin, Winston Churchill Joseph Kennedy, George Bernard Shaw, Mahatma Gandhi, Amy Johnson, F.D. Roosevelt, H.H. Asquith, T.E. Lawrence(Lawrence of Arabia), but it became infamous in the UK for its role in the Profumo Affair in the early 1960’s, when a dodgy married MP (who knew they existed!), shagged a dodgy girl of the night who had connections with a dodgy soviet sailor. Sex, Spys, and Soviets with an extra helping of lying to Parliament:- they really knew how to mix it up in the 60’s…

Now it’s home to a five star luxury hotel, purporting to offer lavish country living in the UK for distinguished guests from around the world, so we fitted right in

John Jacob Astor III

It certainly looks the part, with opulent set rooms, a fabulous art collection of paintings, statues and an old-world atmosphere to match. Cliveden is co-managed by the National Trust, so you can visit the house and grounds any day. But the whole place feels world weary, and looks like it needs rescuing and to be lovingly repaired.

This clock was running about 20 minutes fast

The biggest toilet seat in the world

So the food, unfortunately, didn’t quite match up to the expectation. Perhaps it was because it was a Sunday night, not the best night of the week to go for a fine dining experience, perhaps it was because the hotel is in the final stages of being sold to another management group, who knows.

The original Dynasty: eat your heart out Joan Collins

For a gourmet dining experience, it was pretty poor, with the courses coming so thick and fast, we thought the kitchen staff had a big match to get to after service. It was OK, but nothing memorable apart from the bill.

We retired to our suite, which was great: named after the Stanford University that used Cliveden as its British campus from the 1960’s, read some of the history, and gazed lovingly at the view from our room across the large swathes of linen and laundry stacked outside the back of our room. And the whole place sort of smelt of deep fried something or other, that came from the staff buffet that was just around the corner from the room. Ah well.

Our room for the night, complete with a fireplace (but no fire)

Glorious Winter Sunset

Still blooming in December. The weather truly is mad at the moment!

As it was a special weekend, we opted for the room service breakfast.

The following morning, this arrived and was duly set up in our living room, for us to graze upon before luncheon later in the day.

I swear, no joke, I have never tasted a saltier baked tomato, or beans that were rock hard yet slimy soft at the same time. My soft scrambled eggs had congealed into a warmish gruel. And the back bacon was indistinguishable from the streaky bacon in a hardened lump on the fast cooling plate. Five star? Little Chef is tastier…

Grumpy? Not as much as this guy

So we waded through this and went for our spa treatments, and I spent the next 90 minutes trying not to break wind into the face of the massage therapist. I almost succeeded. (thebigfatnoodle says: “that’s his [bigmonster] comments, not mine!!!”)

Posh Family Crest

After a late checkout, we had a final treat, the Champagne High Tea.

Now the pastry chef should get a medal: he/she really knows his/her stuff, and the biscuits and high tea cakes and pastries were first class.

Tarts had crisp, buttery bases, proper crème anglaise custards.

The finger sandwiches were a delight, ranging from smoked salmon, roast beef and horseradish, to cucumber and radish, and ham and wholegrain mustard, The scones were some of the best I’ve had, with a light crisp outside, and a generous helping of clotted cream. The strawberry and apricot jams looked suspiciously like industrial-catering products, but I had forgiven them by then. In fact, I’d say that the cream tea single-handedly rescued the visit for us. So if you are the company buying this hotel from Von Essen, you should maybe think about putting this person in charge of the whole place.

Happy anniversary to us!

The afternoon tea - top marks

I saw that the cream tea was charged at £25 per head, so that’s £50 for two. For tea. Oh, how I laughed…

Then I read in my research that this hotel set a Guinness World Record, in 2007, for ‘the most expensive sandwich commercially available’.

Probably had the beef.

When we returned home, I decided to make a warming chicken, leek and mushroom millionaire’s pie, which was inspired from Cliveden, so if you’d like to see the recipe, click here.

Chicken Leek & Mushroom Millionaire Pie

We’ll leave you with the remaining pictures we took around the grounds of Cliveden.

Lots of love

bigmonster & thebigfatnoodle

If you can spot the tractor on the left side of the picture, that'll give you a sense of how big this lawn was

Back/side of Cliveden on the right

Looking up towards the back of Cliveden

I loved that sweet little balcony

Just missing the horse and carriage

Steps leading down towards the river

The sweetest little chapel set into the hill.

View from the chapel overlooking the river below

Warning, picture heavy post!

The Fat Duck by Heston Blumenthal, there is perhaps no other restaurant or chef in the world I feel this strongly about, finally making a trip out to the Fat Duck was a little bittersweet for me. I first discovered Heston Blumenthal through his “Hestons feasts” series, I completed downloading the series a night before my final exams, and I finished watching all four episodes that night(no points for guessing how well I did for my finals). Since then, I have had somewhat of an obsession with Heston and the Fat Duck, I’ve watched all his videos, even his kitchen chemistry series, where he still sported some hair(not a good look). To date, the Fat Duck cookbook is the only cookbook that I can say I’ve read cover to cover, and was the cookbook that really got me interested behind the science of cooking. Not only do I love his approach to food, but his story is also an intriguing one, a three Michelin chef that is self taught. It’s not often that you come across chefs like that, most of the time you hear a chef declare that he is self taught on top chef, the first thing that goes through your head is ‘Might as well start packing your knives, you’re definitely not going to last long’. Even when I was making my way to El Bulli two years ago, there was a part of me that was more interested to know and try some of the dishes at the Fat Duck. I was a little disappointed that the Fat Duck had dropped to 5th place this year in the St Pellegrinos list, after having spent so many years behind El Bulli in 2nd place; but on the other hand, there was also a part of me that knew I would still have an amazing meal at the Fat Duck regardless of how they ranked.

Heston’s interest in food began at the age of 16, when his parents brought him to a three Michelin star restaurant, L’Oustau de Baumaniere in Provence. Since then, he developed a curiosity for food, and started to cook, using cookbooks as a guide to replicate dishes from famed chefs, as well as making yearly trips to France, dining at some of the best restaurants in order to better his palate, and gain inspiration. Before opening the Fat Duck in Bray, Hestons prior experience in a kitchen had only been a week in Le Manoir, where he lasted only a week because he was led to a mountain of green beans and told to chop of their tops and tails; and 3 weeks Marco Pierre White’s restaurant, Canteen, mainly because he wanted to learn to deal with the kitchen experience of having different diners ordering different dishes at the same time. (Heston got to know Marco through his one week stint at Le Manoir)

Heston had almost opened his restaurant in South Africa, mainly because is was financially what he felt he could afford at the time, it was only when his wife strongly objected against the idea, that Heston starting looking for somewhere he could afford in England. The restaurant, which intially had opened as a pub, had its name chosen because Heston wanted a name that did 4 things:

1) Acknowledge that they were near to the river

2) Involve some kind of food connotation

3) Allude to a spit or rotisserie (Something he had intended to be part of the restaurant)

4) Have a classic pub sign feel to it

Marco Pierre White claims that he used the guidelines to come up with the name, but Heston cant remember definitively who it was that came up with ‘The Fat Duck’. A few days after opening the Fat Duck, he received a letter from the Bray parish council informing him that it ‘would wish to make it known its objection to the choice of name that the new owners have made. Several complaints have been received by this office about the Fat Duck name, which is considered to be quite inappropriate for a village like Bray’. Clearly things were not always smooth sailing as there are now. In fact, up until the Fat Duck won its third star, it was virtually empty on weekdays, which meant that they were struggling and on the brink of financial collapse. Even at the point when Heston won his third star, he had absolutely no expectations beyond hoping that they would keep their 2 star. Bray is the only village in the world to have two 3 Michelin starred restaurants (Fat Duck and the Waterside Inn). Since earning his three stars, the restaurant has been receiving phone calls non stop.

Heston’s method of cooking is very scientific, in the early days, it involved lots and lots of experimentation, it was only after he started actively seeking help from scientists that he started to gain a deeper understanding about the science behind the methodology, it also quickly opened him up to a whole new world of equipment and techniques. He states in his book that the idea of opening a restaurant was largely in part due to the French trips, his obsessiveness, and one book in particular: “Harold McGees On Food and Cooking, the science and lore of the kitchen”. The book claimed at the time of publication(1986) that searing meat does not ‘seal in the flavors’, as many chefs and highly authoritative cookbooks had mentioned over and over again, almost like a mantra set in stone. Instead, the meat generates flavour through browning reactions(like the Maillard reaction), but it had nothing to do with nutrition of juiciness. This new piece of information gave Heston his ‘question everything’ basis when he approached cooking.

There is somewhat of a build up to a meal at the Fat Duck. Standing by your phone, 2 months before the date of your reservation, waiting anxiously with the Fat Duck’s phone number on re-dial, it took me a good 1 hour of non stop calling before I stopped hearing that dreaded engaged tone. You know you’ve managed to dial through when a reading of “Alice in Wonderland” greets you, and a few minutes later, you are through to the Fat Duck. And after 2 months of waiting and anticipation, we were finally making our way to the Fat Duck. Making your way to the Fat Duck is somewhat of a journey in itself, the closest train station is Maidenhead, which is about 45 minutes ride away from London Paddington station. And from Maidenhead station, the Fat Duck is about a 10 minute cab ride away.

As you arrive at the Fat Duck you quickly realise what a quaint little town Bray is, and how Fat Duck doesn’t have any of the glitz and glam that most people associate 3 star restaurants with. In fact, the Fat Duck has no signboard, unless you recognise the infamous utensils with the webbed foot of a duck, its easy to walk right past the restaurant without knowing its there. I felt a strong sense of nervousness stepping into the Fat Duck, something I haven’t felt since dining at El Bulli(Which is by far one of the most intimidating experiences I’ve ever had)

But upon entering the Fat Duck, you quickly feel right at home, the restaurant looks a lot like a cosy cottage that was converted into a restaurant, the tables cramped together in a tiny dining room, sitting a mere 40 diners.(Thats even less than El Bulli, but El Bulli was only open 6 months in a year). This is in part the exact kind of feeling that Heston hoped to impart-

“When I visited Alain Chapels restaurant(in France) I was struck by the balance of old and new, the stone floors and the solid crossbeams, the wooden chairs with wicker seats. It showed that you could create an atmosphere of luxury without making the place unduly formal. This was unusual for a 3 star restaurant and, without even my realising it, was to shape what I looked for in a restaurant, and the kind of style an ambience I eventually tried to develop at the Fat Duck .”

Sitting atop your dining table is a ‘Nostalgia card’ for each of the diners, where Heston writes a short message, talking about how watching the Pink Panther cartoon as an adult brought back all these nostalgic flavours from the Pink Panther chocolate bar he had as a teenager, and encourages the diner to think about what kinds of food make you nostalgic. I personally believe that Heston has one of the best palates of any chef in the world, and his ability to store flavour memories is what has gotten him where he is today. How does he hold on to these flavour memories so well? I can barely remember what I had for dinner 3 days ago, let alone remember what it tasted like. Regardless, I felt that it was a nice way to start a meal, and if you know abit about Heston, you know that he is very passionate about triggering emotions through food. He explains it best in his book-

“Nostalgia card: The initial idea was to at the very least get diners talking and thinking about food, I want to make the diners experience an informal one, I didn’t want the reverential hush in the dining room, nor did I want people to arrive feeling nervous (Didn’t work Heston!), or in fact, anything other than relaxed. I wanted them to feel excited, to laugh and have fun, and the Nostalgia card was great for breaking the ice.“

Aerated Beetroot and Horseradish Cream

This was an off the menu amuse bouche, an interpretation of a classic salad. The beetroot had a the consistency of a baked meringue- a thin, crisp crust, quickly giving way to a smooth, creamy center. The beetroot a pleasant acidity while the horseradish provided a strong burst of heat that didn’t linger on the tongue, both components were intensely flavoured. I don’t usually give much thought to amuse bouche’s, you’re usually distracted by servers bringing you the menu and sommeliers trying to push wines to you, but eating this quickly made me sit up and take notice. Good

The menu is presented to each of the diners, wax sealed in a velvet envelope. And the journey begins..

Lime grove

The origins for the dish began with a memory of toothpaste. Heston has never liked brushing his teeth before going out to dinner(gross). The mint and menthol linger in the mouth and seem to interfere with the food. At the same time, he liked the feeling of sitting down to eat with a mouth that is clean, neutral, and receptive as possible to flavours it is about to experience. Writing down a wishlist for a first course, he came up with

1) Cleaning qualities

2) Stimulates appetite- acidity, bitterness-aperitif

3) Mouthwatering? gets the diner excited(salivating) for whats to come.

Eventually, this is the dish that was formed, egg white mousse infused with either Vodka Lime(dusted with green tea), Gin and tonic(served with a lemon wedge), or Campari soda (dusted with freeze dried raspberries). The mousse is released from a whipping cream canister, into a bowl of liquid nitrogen(-196C). The nitrogen ‘cooks’ the outside of the mousse, forming a crisp shell that encapsulates its soft center. The waitress constantly reminds you that you have to eat the mousse as soon as it is served, “Eat it now please” “Now please” “In one go” “Yes please don’t wait“, whoever knew that being a waiter in a restaurant would involve having to deal with the dangers of liquid nitrogen, I guess I’d be a little worried too. As it is served, the smell of lime grove(Lime blossom, lime zest, lime leaf, developed specifically for the Fat duck by perfumer Christophe Laudamiel) is sprayed into the air.

This was actually the first time eating something cooked with liquid nitrogen for me, and it was a nice, fun way to start the meal. The crisp, cold crust soft of numbs your tongue the moment you put it in your mouth, and for a brief moment, there is a moment of panic as you wonder if there was some residual liquid nitrogen that may have frozen up your tongue, but the meringue suddenly bursts open to flood your palate with a wave of refreshing, creamy, citrus flavour. Unfortunately, I felt that the citrus could have been a little more intense. Okay

Red Cabbage Gazpacho with Pommery Grain mustard ice cream

This dish was conceived from a flavor memory(I’d love to know what goes on in Hestons brain someday, I think it’d be like having a buffet): sharp, fresh, peppery taste of raw cabbage juice. Having read that is it mustard oil that gives cabbage it’s peppery character, Heston began experimenting by simply spooning out Dijon mustard and eating it with a couple of raw cabbage leaves, the results were promising enough to start devloping a dish based on the two flavours. Pommery grain mustard ice cream sits atop a bed of brunoised cucumbers that have been vacuum packed twice to intensify its flavour and give it a denser texture, the dish is then finished off with a red cabbage gazpacho.

The cold gazpacho and the even colder mustard ice cream was a delight. The combination of the red cabbage and mustard work well together, the peppery zing from the cabbage really shone through, and the sweetness of the mustard balanced the raw earthiness of the gazpacho. There were times when you scooped some of the gazpacho alone, and you were getting such a strong mustard flavour, that the line between the two ingredients started to blur and it got a little confusing. The cucumber reinforced the refreshing theme of the dish, as well as providing a dense, melon-like consistency to the dish. Another interesting thing to note is that it is the only dish on the menu that has remained unaltered after all these years. Good

Jelly of Quail, Crayfish cream, Chicken liver parfait, Oak moss, and truffle toast, with dry ice releasing the scent of Oak moss

The first of the multi-sensory courses, it begins with the diner placing a strip of ‘oak moss listerine’ on the tongue, as the waiter pours a mixture of oak moss essential oil, alcohol, and hot water, straight into a bed of actual oak moss, with dry ice hidden underneath; thus releasing cold vapor carrying the smell of the woods around the table. You are meant to see, taste, and smell the forest. The presence of the truffles in truffle toast act as a link between the oak(since you get truffles in the woods), and it served to cut the very salty quail jelly and very rich langoustine cream. Unfortunately I found the quail jelly overseasoned and the langoustine cream too intense, even the layer of pea puree at the bottom was completely lost in the other two layers. Without the tiny slice of toast, which disappeared in three quick bites, I was struggling to finish the rest of the dish. It was the only dish I struggled with during the meal. Bad

Snail Porridge, Iberico Bellota Ham, Shaved Fennel

Possibly Heston’s most famous dish at the Fat Duck, the dish was first conceived when Heston received his first shipment of snails to the restaurant, and on the same day he had a conversation with his head chef who had just returned from Chinatown in New York, who mentioned that he had eaten fish porridge. This led to the development of the dish, but the unappetizing name and texture of a snail porridge needed something to set it apart and make it taste amazing- the inclusion of one of the main ingredients: parsley, was initially to make the dish seem more palatable, by combining it with the familiar combination or parsley and garlic, it would have the flavour profiles of a traditional escargot.

The moment they waiters and waitresses lift the lid of the porridge, you are hit with this wonderful earthy, almost savoury aroma from the parsley, garlic, and ham. I think this was one of the best smelling dishes I’ve ever had. Your first bite is quite a shock to the tastebuds, there are a lot of flavours going on at the same time. The snails, braised for hours before a quick sauté in butter, were perfectly cooked, it had a nutty aroma with a tender center. The parsley and garlic gave the dish an earthy, meaty taste. The ham shone through with a burst of savoury flavour. The individual oat grains had a distinctive bite but soft enough so that it didn’t overpower the rest of the dish. The fennel providing freshness and a faint aniseed taste, as well as a textural crunch. The dish was so rich it got a little heavy towards the end, but I would willing eat a lot of this, despite knowing that I’d feel sick afterwards. Good

Crab biscuit, Roast foie gras, and oyster vinaigrette

The foie was soft enough to wobble but had a nice crisp exterior(cooked sous vide before being blowtorched), the braised kombu was a revelation, it packed so much briny and meaty umami flavor that complimented the foie wonderfully, even though I’ve never had the two paired together before. The crab biscuit was wonderfully sweet, for those who live in Sngapore, it actually tasted a lot like the traditional snack, fried cuttlefish tossed in sugar, but with a much subtler flavor. The barberry sauce on the side didn’t really need to be there, it was a little hard to work it into the dish, because the combination of the kombu, the foie, the toasted sesame, and the crab biscuit was devastatingly good on its own. This dish, although vastly changed from the original, was his first signature dish. Very good

Mock turtle soup

A cute card is presented to you, explaining the history of the dish, an indication that you are about to have tea with the Mad Hatter

“Welcome to wonderland!” A waitress opens up a jewellery box holding 4 gold watches, presenting them while explaining our roles in this tea party. “You have to take the golden watch, and place it into this empty teacup” She then proceeds to pour hot water over it, “Now, stir the tea to dissolve it, just like the March Hare did in the story!” The watch quickly dissolves into a perfectly clear beef consomme, with edible gold flakes swirling around. The dish is then completed as the consomme is poured over a bed of pork cheek, pickled turnip, black truffle, and mock turtle egg (Which is turnip mousse with a sweet gel, topped with enoki mushroom)

The pork cheeck was perfectly cooked, it added a nice unctuousness to the dish. The soup was nothing like I’ve ever tasted before, it had an intensely complex flavor to it, predominantly savoury, with a slight acidity and tartness to it, as well as a sweet aftertaste. The faux egg had a texture so similar to that of an egg that I was starting to question my sanity. Pickled cucumber and turnip added a fresh contrast and acidity to cut the rich pork cheek. Good

Sound of the sea

This was perhaps the dish I was most looking forward to. I’ve heard of diners who have broken down and started crying because of the emotions this dish triggered in them, that’s powerful. Most of the time when a dish makes me cry, its never for good reasons. This dish took 3 years to conceive. The inspiration for the dish stated with Professor Charles Spence, who invited Heston to crunch on pringles in front of a microphone while wearing headphones. While he crunched, Spence adjusted the volume level and the higher frequencies of noise and played it back to Heston. The crisps had become much crunchier- manipulation of sound had dramatically altered the eating experience. this eventually gave birth to one of the Fat Ducks most famous dishes- sound of the sea.

My mum, who knows nothing about the dish(there is no description of the dish on the menu, apart from its title), actually managed to guess at the beginning of the meal that they would be giving us a seashell to listen to the sound of the waves crashing, the waiter whom she was talking to at that point was suitably impressed

The edible sand is a mixture of tapioca flour and fried sardines, a texture that took months before being able to perfect the right texture and flavor, the end result was so convincing that one of the development chefs had declared, ‘This is the sand of my homeland,Velezuela.’ Months later, a package arrived at the fat duck, it was 25 kilos of sand from the Venezuela shoreline. The chef had asked his father to ship it over, and till today, it is still used as the sand served beneath the dish.

The seawater foam brought the dish together for me. It looked a little unappetizing initially because of how similar it looked to seawater foam, the kind you get when seawater washes up on shore, but I guess that is the exact intended effect. Despite the dish being inspired by the sea, the dish wasn’t overpoweringly ‘fishy’ or too briny. The sand was incredibly delicious, adding a sweetness that seems like it would stick out like a sore thumb in the dish, but it integrated itself well with the fish. The actual fish components comprised of a piece of yellowtail, mackerel, and halibut; they were wonderfully fresh. As gimmicky as it may sound, the iPod really added to the dining experience, it drowned out the background noise and really made you forget where you were, allowing you focus on the dish. It kind of put you in a very private and intimate place with the food you were eating, I found it to be quite a personal experience that I’m struggling to accurately describe. To say that it transported me to a beach was a little bit of a stretch for me, but I can understand why people get emotional when eating the dish. There is a multi sensory aspect to this dish, and if you have a strong enough memory of being close to the ocean, it’s very easy to latch onto it while having this. The moment I pulled out the iPod from my ears, the intensity and flavors seem to suddenly dip. One of the best damn things I’ve tasted. Superb

Salmon poached in a liquorice gel. Artichokes, Vanilla Mayonnaise, golden trout roe

Interestingly enough, the basis for the dish was not the combination of salmon and licorice, it was actually the fact that asparagus and licorice have a compound in common- asparagine. The asparagus component has since been replaced with artichokes, I’m not sure if there is a scientific reason behind why artichokes were chosen as the replacement. I was prepared to dislike this dish, licorice is not a flavor that I particularly enjoy, but the flavor of the licorice gel was actually fairly subtle, and the texture of the gel seemed to blend well with the mi cuit(In between rare and cooked) texture of the sous vide salmon, you can’t have a lot of the salmon and gel without starting to feel a little bloated and sick, but the portion was perfect. The vanilla mayonnaise was what gave the fish a nice creamy mouthfeel, it was a little surreal for me because right as I was about to taste the vanilla mayonnaise, my brain couldn’t quite figure out of I should expect a savoury taste(Because its mayonnaise), or a sweet one(Vanilla). Heston talks a lot about how we perceive vanilla to be sweet, when in fact is isn’t sweet at all, could this be the him playing a trick on his diners? It tasted fairly neutral, but had a slightly sweet aftertaste. The golden trout roe, marinated in soy sauce, gave the dish encapsulated bursts of briny, salty flavour. Good

Saddle of venison: beetroot soubise, risotto of spelt and umbles

This is hands down the best cooked piece of meat I’ve ever had(the youtube video involves me trying to capture the texture of the venison). This is the kind of texture that I imagine sous vide should be about. Incredibly tender while still retaining a lot of it’s natural juiciness. The beetroot puree was incredibly smooth, so much so that looked like it was made syntheticly. There were small cubes of incredibly sweet candied chestnut that really brought the dish to life. The risotto of spelt and umbles was an interesting side dish. Umbles are basically the liver, kidney, and offal of a deer, The ‘Risotto’ is actually spelt(a kind of wheat) cooked in a risotto style, and it is topped with more spelt, but this time dehydrated, fried, and glazed, to provide a sweet and crisp contrast to the dish. It is topped off with a fried sweetbread. It didn’t have as strong a taste as I thought it would, considering that is basically a risotto of offal, it was surprisingly easy to eat, and although Im not going to pretend like I understand everything that was going on, I could tell like there was a lot of thought that went behind making the offal of deer so palatable to the average diner, I actually enjoyed the risotto more than the venison. Good

Hot and Iced Tea

The secret behind the dish is that fluid gels can be make to a consistency that passes for a liquid(although to be honest, part of the magic is not knowing how it works). I don’t want to delve too much into how it is achieved, but the dish is quite magical in its own way. You begin drinking the citrusy Earl Grey tea, one side of the tea is completely hot, and the other side is completely cold. I was not expecting this, I had initially thought that we would start with the hot portion and then transition to the cold, but it was served such that you got both temperatures at the same time(I just checked with other diners, this was done intentionally). The surprise drove my mouth crazy, having hot tea on the right side of your mouth, and cold tea on the left, coming from the same cup, its so surreal that you cant quite believe its happening, its like a little voice in your head is screaming out “wtf is going on? WHATS GOING ON? THIS DOESN’T MAKE SENSE”

I eventually turned to drink the hot side first and it magically transitioned to cold, that was a much better experience for me. When I was staying in Cesky krumlov(In the Czech Republic), I had a sink with two antique looking brass taps, one for hot water and one for cold, but the water that came out of it when you had both taps turn on was not well mixed together into one steam with a consistent temperature, there was of course an average temperature, but every once in a while there would be a burst of cold water, and sometimes a burst of warm water, the change was always surprising because you never knew when it was coming up. Hot and iced tea had a sort of similar effect on me, despite what I knew about the dish, it still held a lot of magic for me. Palate cleansers should be fun like this was. Good

Taffety tart: Caramelized apple, fennel, rose, candied lemon

Heston seems to be very proud of this dish, having mentioned that he had worked on it for over a year before it finally made it’s appearance on the menu. Clearly the technique here is impeccable, sheets rolled out so thin they would make Kate Moss proud, each sheet precisely cut to the exact same dimensions. The presentation was superb but overall the flavors in the dish felt a little out of balance for me. The dish had too many sour components that overpowered the rose cream and caramelized apple, the citrus gel was incredibly strong, and the blackcurrant reinforced the sour notes as well. Most of the dishes at the Fat Duck seemed to have a personality, even the one that didn’t taste good to me(Jelly of quail), but the Taffety tart was very forgettable. Okay

The BFG

A dish from his in “search of perfection” series, as the dish is served, the smell of kirsch is spritzed into the air, a precursor to what is, hands down, the most delicious dessert I have ever had. Let’s start with the ice cream, which is one of hestons first obsessions, how he managed to get the ice cream to such a smooth, matte consistency, is beyond me. The ice cream released a burst of kirsch flavor that was assertive yet did not intrude on the palate, so that you could enjoy the star of the show, the BFG. I did not take a photo of the cake, but a quick google search will quickly explain just how complicated the construction of this cake really is (click here), the result? Absolutely delicious. The cake is one of the softest I’ve ever tasted, the cream one of the lightest, contrasted beautifully with the cold, shaved chocolate, which added a subtle crunch. The sourness from the cherries, reinforcing the flavour of the cherries from the kirsch alcohol, balanced out by the bitter-sweetness of the chocolate, It was a truly fitting end to an amazing meal

Bacon and egg ice cream

Well, the BFG would have been a fitting end to the meal, but I had to request for the infamous bacon and egg ice cream(since been taken off the menu), and they willing obliged with two portions. The waiter greeted us with a cheerful “wake up, it’s time for breakfast“, before pulling two eggs out of an egg carton, cracking them into a pan, and telling us that he did not have any gas, which would mean that he had to use liquid nitrogen. How inconvenient. If you watch the video below, the moment he mentions the need for liquid nitrogen, you can hear a suspicious “hmmm….” coming from my mum. As the liquid nitrogen is added, the eggs sounded like they were ‘sizzling’, thus completing the illusion of cooked eggs. A while later, when he couldn’t stir the frozen eggs anymore anymore, it was spooned out onto a piece of pain perdu(french toast) and a slice of ethereal candied bacon, so crisp and thin it looked like glass.

The dish lacked the complexity of both the previous desserts, it didn’t feel like a complete dish, but it was certainy whimsical and fun; the pain perdu, which was smeared with tomato jam, was absolutely delicious. The sweet decadence of the caramelized french toast cut with the savoury, meaty taste of the jam. The ice cream provided a burst of intense egg flavor that really made you feel like you were eating a delicious breakfast. Okay

Whisk(e)y Gums

A picture frame with the map of Scotland, and a tiny portion of the United States(Tennessee) were presented to us at the table. 5 gummy sweets in the shape of a whiskey bottle were stuck onto it. It represented the 5 regions where the different whiskeys were made, 4 from Scotland, and 1 from Tennessee. I’m not exaggerating when I say that if you had about 10 of these gums, you would be feeling tipsy is no time. No chewing was required, the warmth of your mouth melted these soft gums down into what was in essence, pure whiskey. Fine whiskey is a little lost on me, so I can’t accurately comment on how good or bad this was, but one whiskey in particular- Laphroaig from Islay, had an intense smoky aftertaste. Okay

Sweet Shop
Before you leave the Fat Duck, no actually, before you are presented with the bill, a candy bag full of wonderful surprises awaits. A tiny card that reads:

“Like a kid in the sweet shop” menu
Smell me!

Take a whiff of the card and you are immediately hit with the scent of a candy shop. It’s been 3 weeks since my meal at the Fat Duck, I’m currently smelling the card as I type this; it still smells delicious, I’m almost tempted to try eating it, but I shall refrain myself

Aerated chocolate. Mandarin jelly
The process for making this is quite interesting, if you’re interested in the technique, you can find it here, I’ve actually tried making this at home, but I had a hard time trying to get the chocolate to set right. Im not going to lie, this was basically a high end version of the Aero chocolate bar, made with much better chocolate, and the air pockets in Heston’s version were also significantly bigger. The mandarin jelly was surprisingly intense and was a nice addition. Okay

Coconut Baccy. Coconut infused with an aroma of Black Cavendish Tobacco

I don’t really have a good picture of this, but the brown strips at the bottom of the photo are the Baccy. It was fun to chew on, but overall this was a little lost on me. Bad

Apple Pie Caramel(No need to unwrap)

I am not a huge fan of caramel sweets in general; this had a nice punch of apple flavour, but I didn’t quite get the overall taste of an apple pie. What impressed me most was the edible wrapper, it had the exact same texture and feel of those plastic wrappers used for sweets, right down to the crinkling sound that plastic makes when you crush it. Okay

Queen of hearts (she made some tarts)

Tucked away in an envelope, sealed with what looked like red wax(turned out to be chocolate), this was easily the best of the 4 sweets.  Its not hard to figure out that Alice in Wonderland is Heston’s favourite book, the queen of hearts playing card is printed on a slab of white chocolate, the detail and sharpness of the print is amazing. And in the center lies an ever so thin layer of raspberry compote and crushed up shortbread. The layers were tiny, but the flavours they carried were strong, I was surprised that I was tasting more of the raspberry and shortbread than the white chocolate. Very good

So how was the Fat Duck? I can’t say that it was the best food I’ve ever eaten, but overall it was the best dining experience I’ve ever had(so far). The pacing between each course is spot on, we left the Fat Duck feeling full but not bloated. Service is impeccable, even the ghoulish looking sommelier had a sense of humour. The waiters and waitresses engaged the diners with their playful banter, and were able to lay the foundation for a whimsical dining experience. There is definitely a distinct connection between the interaction that a diner makes with the front of house staff, as well as the interaction the diner makes with food produced in the kitchen, they both seem to be playing the same tune, in the same pitch, and the conductor is King Heston himself.

Despite all the build up to the meal, I was not disappointed at all. You often hear so much about the dishes served at the Fat Duck, and to be able to actually taste his snail porridge, to experience the sound of the sea, to smell kirsch as you cut into the Black Forest Gateau, it gives you so much more appreciation to the food being served. In that sense, the meal was inspiring to me in so many ways. I refuse to believe Im done with the Fat Duck, it doesn’t feel like I can be done with it. I need to return here someday…

It’s 8:55 am on October 1^st. My dad, sister and myself are all standing by the phone in different areas of the world, waiting until the clock strikes 9 so that we can call the restaurant and get reservations for November.

You have to call a month in advance because Dinner by Heston Blumenthal is the hottest meal ticket of 2011, and if we’d waited until October 2^nd, all the tables would have been gone.

We manage to secure a table (actually, quite amusingly all three of us managed to get a table) and so began the month and a half wait.

Blumenthal has been hailed as Britain’s most brilliant and experimental chef. His three-stared Michelin restaurant, The Fat Duck, is on the same level as the famous Noma in Denmark and El Bulli in Spain. Blumenthal opened his innovative restaurant in Berkshire back in 1995, and only ventured into the culinary capital this year, taking over the prime space at the Mandarin Oriental in Hyde Park.

The Meal

Finally, November 18^th (my dad’s birthday) arrives. We step into the restaurant with dark wooded ceilings, leather furniture and quirky lamps that look like jelly molds. But despite the sleek design, the atmosphere is relaxed and (poor) acoustics give the impression of a busy French brasserie instead of a posh hotel restaurant.

The historically inspired menu covers over 500 years of British cuisine. The Rice & Flesh starter (a sort of saffron risotto with calf tail and red wine) comes from circa 1390 for example and was quite delicious. The famous meat fruit (c 1500) was a creamy liver parfait presented in the form of a mandarin complete with zingy orange peel and served on a wooden board with rustic bread.

For mains we sampled the powdered duck breast with smoked confit fennel and umbles, the spiced pigeon with ale and artichokes, black foot pork chop with spelt, and Hereford ribeye with mushroom ketchup, red wine juice and triple cooked chips. All were exquisite.

So the key word here is historically inspired, as I am fairly certain that the 16^th century Englishman didn’t powder his duck and triple cook his chips. But the dated menu adds a bit of fun flair to the meal and certainly serves as interesting dinner conversation.

The best dessert had to be the pre-ordered tipsy cake with spit roast pineapple – soft, sweet, and squishy cake with golden juicy caramelized pineapple on the side. One of the more interesting meals of the evening was the brown bread ice cream with salted butter caramel and malted yeast syrup – certainly excited the taste buds, but perhaps a more acquired taste.

The Experience

So where was the liquid nitrogen and the science lesson? Actually the food, while certainly sophisticated and technically complex, was fairly straightforward and not nearly as chef-turned-mad-scientist as I was expecting. But it was all incredibly tasty, the service was impeccable and the whole experience was just plain fun. So is it worth the hype? I say yes, it is and you should all save up and go!

First of all the decor and interior of The Fat Duck is what you would expect from a 3 star restaurant – great atmosphere, not many tables but decorated with a real attention to the details.

After being seated, our welcome drink was a choice of three champagnes which ranged from reasonable to expensive, but all delicious.  Then the acting began – to me dinner at The Fat Duck is like a visit to the theatre or opera, a production of food with a bit of drama and surprise.   We enjoyed a 14 courses tasting menu over the course of about 4 hours – this is the minimum amount of time you have to set aside when you’re planning a dinner at The Fat Duck. But the 4 hours will go by rather fast because there are so many amazing dishes. In my opinion, it is a great investment of time.

So at this point, I am sure you are curious to know more about our menu – 14 courses of food fantasies

- Nitro Poached Aperitifs – selection of either Vodka Lime, Gin and Tonic or Campari Soda in a very unusual form and texture

- Red Cabbage Gazpacho – served with Mustard Ice cream and amazing in colour and flavour

- Jelly of Quail, Crayfish Cream – this was my favorite dish of the night!  I loved the way it was presented, the texture and flavours.

- Snail Porridge – yes it was made with Snail and yes it was a great dish with a texture and flavour that transported me to a fresh mowed lawn in spring.

- Roast Foie Gras - one of my favorite ingredients was transformed into a fantastic plate – loved the dish.

- Mock Turtle Soup – A tale out of Alice in Wonderland with the Mad Hatter Tea – all we missed was “Johnny Depp ” as the waiter.  This was a crazy production with tea bags of gold which turned in to a delicious and delicate broth.

- Sound of the Sea – guests are given headphones so they can hear the sound of the sea to complete the experience.  I had to take a photo of that dish – unusual for me, but this dish was such fun!

- Salmon Poached in a Liquorice Gel – I never thought this dish would work but thanks to the Artichokes and the Vanilla Mayonnaise, it was a wonderful flavour combination

- Saddle of Venison – Venison cooked to perfection, although a bit boring for me given the creativity of the other dishes.  But – thanks to the risotto, it was a dream dish.

- Hot & Iced Tea – served in a single glass, what a sensation drinking a dish that is both hot and cold at the same time.

- Taffety Tart – the best dessert dish I have ever tasted – ever!  This was a sensation in presentation and flavours; a recipe from 1660 with a modern twist.

- The BFG – or Black Forest Gateau with a hint of Kirsch in the air.

- Whisk(e)y Wine Gums - Yes, wine gums made from Whiskey!  The wine gums were served on a picture frame with a map of Scotland and the USA with the wine gums placed at the location where the Whiskey came from.

- “Like a Kid in a sweet shop” A bag full of surprising little sweets for the road ahead or home.

So would I go again and more important would I send a friend – YES!   I can say I would go again and with foodie friends. But as you can see from the menu, to enjoy it you must love food.  And now to the most important question many of my friends wanted to know… did I like the Fat Duck better than Alinea in Chicago?

My answer is, I still had the best meal in my life at ……….

Alinea in Chicago. Chef Grant Achatz wowed me with a dish that made the difference – the meat dish. I always find the meat dish at such restaurants boring with the exception of Alinea where I ate the best meat in all of my life. That made the difference for me, otherwise both restaurants serve the best food, have great service and know how to wow their guests.

Crab bisque

Copy of Joe’s crab shack’s crab nachos

Crabcake burger with “Fat Duck” chips

Crab cake, caesar salad, “Fat Duck” chips & sriracha remoulade

Dinner by Heston  – There`s not a great deal that i can write about the place that hasn`t already been written in the many blogs and media reports during the 7 months since the place opened. Obviously the main question that people will want to know is ” how do i secure a booking at Hestons” ?….well the
simple answer is to do the usual and pick the phone up a month in advance. Another option is to phone up and go on to the `waiting list`.The last option is the one that we chose….`Take a chance and just turn up`….try a simple `walk in`….. and that`s the one that worked for us.We chose to do a Saturday lunch service and headed over to Knightsbridge at 12.00, went straight to the restaurant reception desk and addressed the two young ladies …..with a big friendly hello and an even bigger smile. Something obviously
worked, they quickly checked their reservation sheets and came back with an ” absolutely no problem Mr Spedding , but can you be off your table in just over 1 1/2 hours” ?….. Nooooooooooo problem ,let`s do it…..fantastic. So in a nutshell , the walk in worked a treat. If it had been a thumbs down then Koffmanns at the Berkeley is only over the road and that`s a fabulous place to lunch ,we would have just gone over the road for a pigs trotter fest.,  ( click HERE to see my post on lunch there).

We were shown to our table , right by the windows overlooking Hyde park , 2 menus , 2 glasses of wine and the order went straight into the kitchen. It was now 12:15 and almost every table was taken. The menu was spot on , lots of choice at each course and no other option than a.l.c. There`s a £28 lunch menu on through the week but thats off on weekends.No tasting menus have been introduced just yet.

The bread arrived at our table….Oh wow , it was the same bread as the Fat Duck…..”the worlds best bread”. It was a Sourdough with the crispiest ,tastiest crust going.What a fantastic start , we both got stuck straight
into the bread and the organic butter.Anyone experiencing this bread i`m sure will agree here…it doesn`t get any better than this…..Anywhere.

As far as starters at `dinner` go then `meat fruit` has to be the most popular by a long mile.I looked around the tables , everyone seemed to be eating it. I definitely wanted to try it but also wanted my partner to eat something else, just for the foodie geeky blogger pics .I tried to convince her that the Roast Scallops would be amazing…..she wasn`t having any of it and replied -  “sounds lovely…go for it”….. I tried again……” Honey , this Hay smoked Mackerel sounds lovely , it comes with a nice light lemon salad” …. i didn`t want to hear her reply…..” Sounds beautiful , are you getting it” ?  “No honey , i`m having `meat fruit”…… ”Ahhhh , so am i “…………Ermmmmm , ” that`s two meat fruit then “….typical.

The moment i knew i wasn`t going to get my own way….The Czech stare.

So , the two little boards of `meat fruit` arrived at the table .Its one of those dishes that everyone just sits and looks at and it seems criminal to take the knife to it. As i know only too well when i made my own attempt at the recipe at home ( CLICK HERE )….. 6 bloody days to make the little blighters. The meat fruits were carefully placed on their  little wooden serving boards alongside a piece of grilled bread , nothing else is required…Simply cut through the Mandarin jelly into the creamy chicken liver parfait and then spread it on  the toasted bread.It was a simple concept and tasted fantastic. £13.50 each.

Main courses were quite interesting and there was nine to choose from ranging in price from £23 to a £72 ( 2 to share ). I chose the “Powdered Duck” with Smoked fennel and potato puree ( £26.50 ) whilst my partner opted for the Veggie main of Braised Celery with parmesan , pickled walnuts, apple and onion at (£23.00).

The Chips below aren`t Hestons famous “Triple cooked chips”, they`re just normal ones.Apparently if the correct potato isn`t in season to make the triple cooked version then the restaurant takes them off the menu…Top marks.

On to the desserts and my favourite part of the meal.I had actually planned to order 4 desserts as we are both so sweet toothed pudding lovers.Due to the amount of bread we consumed we were both totally stuffed and could only just manage the one dessert each. I opted for the Fat Duck classic the”Taffety Tart” , Apple, Rose , Fennel and Blackcurrant sorbet ( £ 9.50 ) I had always looked upon this dessert as a piece of art , a true treat for the eyes.It  lived up to its reputation , i ate it slowly…very slowly and enjoyed every single morsel.

My partner went for the dessert thats going to be as famous as the Meat fruit.She chose the Tipsy cake with Spit roasted Pineapple ( £10.00 ).This dessert came in a small cast iron pan, a hot , creamy and boozy brioche type pudding which was accompanied by the caramelised , sticky and very very moreish spit roasted Pineapple….another winner.

So to sum up “Dinner by Heston” , a very enjoyable lunch indeed. I was hoping to meet Ashley the chef who`s running the whole set up but unfortunately he was off that day.The guys in the kitchen done him proud though….a very pleasant experience. As for the meat fruit, well i would like to say my home made version was up to the mark but after tasting the “real deal” ….. I`ll have to  settle for Silver medal. Ill try the 6 day challenge again for my xmas day starter this year.

TO VIEW ALL OF MY PHOTOS FROM LUNCH THEN PLEASE JUST CLICK HERE

Let me explain: the first attempt was with Harris in 1983, by train, but that particular train never made it as far as Madrid and was destined instead to end up a burnt-out wreck in a remote tunnel in the Pyrenees.  (This back-story will have to be more fully narrated in a future post.)

But, not wishing to dwell on the negative, it seems that EasyJet in 2011 have triumphed where RENFE in 1983 dramatically failed. I am safely delivered to my destination.

Perhaps because of my perceived uncertainty over my arrival, I find myself unable to come up with a sensible reason for coming here.  Partly it is because mainland Spain is, for me, largely uncharted territory and partly because I would like to practise and improve my Spanish. Another random reason I am here is that I remember reading ages ago an article on the Telegraph website by lucid Eurozone-skeptic Ambrose Evans-Pritchard. “Perhaps too much Rioja has gone to my head,” he observed, “… but those who still think that Spain will trigger the break-up of the euro are barking up the wrong tree.”  Ah yes, those Rioja-tinted glasses.

So I now find myself standing in a bar in the Masaleña barrio of Madrid, where I am surrounded by (and here I borrow three apposite adjectives from one of my erstwhile bosses) “young, thrusting and sensible” Spaniards.  One of the great things about them is that they don’t intersperse each word or phrase with “…like…” and they don’t use the moronic interrogative, whereby every statement has a rising intonation? … and extraneous pauses? … so as to end as a rhetorical? … and frequently pointless? … question?

Lively crowd surrounding my vino tinto, chorizo and patatas bravas. La Camocha sidreria in Madrid

The beauty of swanning round in Madrid is that, if you are prepared to amble your way through enough beer, wine and brandy, you don’t need to eat dinner alone (always a slightly awkward experience) because each little 1-euro glass of wine is accompanied by a small gratis portion of chorizo, Manchego, etc. I believe that this approach to eating is termed grazing, and is deemed officially healthy by the eating police.

I have at hand the handy-sized Time Out guide to Madrid, which is a physically beautiful artefact, with a pleasing design/layout and printed on lovely paper.  However, content-wise, many of the eating places it recommends have menus printed primarily in English and, worse still, London prices.  No, give me a bar full (often literally) of Spaniards every time, where there is no printed menu, and where at least one member of the staff speaks no English.  The Time Out guide has a section on tapas “bars”, where apparently you go and order tapas. Uh? Surely you no more go to a tapas restaurant than you would go to the Fat Duck and order a bacon butty as your main course for that authentic early morning experience?

My implicit modus operandi in Madrid is that the world is on your doorstep and I am determined to seek out some sort of existence no more than 1km from my own doorstep, viz the Sil y Serranos. (Aha! Not the youth hostel?!) But this approach has taken a bizarre turn.  It turns out that “something of a Madrid institution” is next door. It is a sidrería where endless bottles of cloudy cider, or cyder, or sidre, are being opened with an industrial-scale corkscrew.  Once opened, they are poured in small helpings (by a suitably adept customer) from shoulder height into a glass at knee height (presumably to let the stuff breathe?).  A judiciously-positioned wooden trough acts as a metaphorical safety-net. I tried out the sidre on Sunday afternoon (on my tod, as the Sil y Serranos had no culture of youth hostel-style cameraderie) and discovered that, whilst the pouring technique is mastered surprisingly swiftly, drinking even a single bottle is not for the faint-hearted.

The final scene in my Madrid tour is a gloomy one.  Whilst I was travelling to the airport in the claustrophobic space of the metro, a bunch of young American women boarded the train. And, presumably knowing that I was trapped in the crowded train, proceeded to torture me with ..like… talking in …like… raised voices and …like.. always saying …like… like that?  Aarrggh!

GM Paul Grunberg of L'Abattoir shows off the restaurant's Warm Steelhead and Potato Salad.

VANCOUVER — It’s when you attempt to describe Lee Cooper’s cuisine that you realize the uniqueness of L’Abattoir. The year-old restaurant in Gastown has been called French-influenced, inspired bistro fare, contemporary and nouveau West Coast. Some associated with the restaurant even call the L’Abattoir experience “post-fine dining.”

It might be all of those things but perhaps finding the right category for the food isn’t as important as the adjectives to describe how you feel when you taste it. In a word, L’Abattoir makes life more pleasant. The dishes coming out of Cooper’s kitchen are so velvety smooth in texture and flavour you can get lost in deconstructing it. Whether it’s the silky mushroom and bacon blanquette (a kind of stew typically made from white wine) that covers the delicious Rabbit Cannelloni ($17) or the exquisite flavours from the Warm Steelhead and Potato Salad ($15), L’Abattoir leaves you feeling not only satisfied but mesmerized by dishes that are hard to imagine being replicated in another kitchen.

“You’re not going to find cooking like this anywhere in the country,” general manager Paul Grunberg told me when I dropped in the other day. “I believe so passionately in what Lee Cooper is doing and in his talents as a chef.”

Grunberg and Cooper worked at Market, Jean-Georges Vongerichten’s celebrated restaurant in the two-year-old Shangri-La in Vancouver’s wealthy west end. Cooper also worked for a year at the Fat Duck, the English restaurant that perennially ranks in the top five of the World’s 50 Best Restaurants list. The results of that pedigree are on display in a restaurant that’s wonderfully laid back in attitude and ambience but isn’t loose in service or gastronomical ambitions. Located in a historic building that was once home to the Irish Heather whiskey bar (now moved across the street), L’Abattoir can seat diners in its loft area highlighted by exposed brick or the slender rear hall that faces the rejuvenated Gaoler’s Mews square.

READ A REVIEW OF VIJ’S IN VANCOUVER

Have a few of the Meat Hook cocktails from L'Abattoir and you just may be down for the count.

L’Abattoir is one of a handful of high-quality, independently owned restaurants recently opened in Gastown. Those restaurants, which include Bao-Bei and Nicli Antica Pizzeria, are surprisingly affordable for the level of the cuisine they offer. No entrée on the L’Abattoir menu is above $30 and most cocktails from renowned mixologist Shaun Layton are in the $10 range, a fair price when you consider they’re some of the best drinks you’ll find in the country. Layton and his bar staff match Cooper’s unique dishes with inventive flavours of their own. The Donald Draper, named after the “Mad Men” character, is a whimsical take on an Old-Fashioned that balances the sweet and sour tastes of the ingredients: Buffalo Trace bourbon, Pineau De Charentes apertif, Abricot de Rouillson, Peychauds bitters and a rim of Absinthe. The Banana Daiquiri is far from the sweet, dessert-like flavours most people associate with that drink. Layton’s take is a … pleasant surprise. It’s a boozy version of the drink and after one sip your thoughts about what a daiquiri should taste like change forever.

Vancouver’s food scene has become increasingly more casual, a fact underscored by the closing in March of Daniel Boulud’s Lumiere and db Bistro Moderne. West coast chains like Guu Izakaya (recently expanded to Toronto), Milestones, Earl’s and the Donnelly Public House group of pubs grew more popular but didn’t offer much in the way of innovation. Several of the new restaurants, though, are creating environments that more resemble what Vikram Vij (Vij’s and Rangoli) has done so well: offer sophisticated cuisine in a relaxed atmosphere that keeps people returning. Of the handful of newcomers I tried in the past 12 days, L’Abattoir to me is the best. Even a seared Halibut filet ($26), a dish you’ll find plenty of on west coast menus, stands out when wrapped in bacon, served with warm potato gnocchi and accompanied by another luscious sauce, this one made from green peas.

All big cities have excellent restaurants, not many have ones that come across as genuinely original — L’Abattoir is that. It’s name — which means slaughterhouse — is a misnomer. It’s far from a meat-focused establishment. Instead, it’s a restaurant that has a range of eclectic offerings that suit different tastes and appetites. You’re sure to find something that sounds appealing and more than likely you’ll be pleased when it arrives.

L'Abattoir has helped with the revitalization of Gastown.

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Origin is ‘solid’
Signatures wants you to bring your own wine
My picks for the World’s 50 Best Restaurants
The Carlton adds to our options

NOTE: All photos and content copyrighted

Following the ultimately quite sad ‘How to Cheat at Cooking’, and her Christmas corner-cutting (to which I took exception), Delia Smith’s been spouting off again. This time, the British food scene comes under fire – and surprise surprise, it seems it was much better in her day.

Asked by the Telegraph what she thought of the UK’s restaurants at a Waitrose launch (and bearing in mind that she’s fronting that campaign with HESTON BLUMENTHAL), Delia said,

“On the whole, I am not a great fan. I like the 70s the best really. Gifted amateurs opened restaurants and pubs and you could have real food.

Once again, it has taken me far too long to update my blog, so I’ll try my best to get you caught up and keep it short and interesting…tall order!

Here are some highlights since my last blog…in no particular order.

• I had my in-laws come to visit us here in England, which was awesome.
• My car, the Red Rover, finally died on me…we had to scrap her, sad times.
• We got a new car, The Blue Mini, and she has taken us on some exciting adventures!
• Jenell and I had our 1 year anniversary!
• We took a 10 day road trip in our new car (The Blue Mini) all around different parts of the UK and Europe…we drove all over the UK and through parts of France, Belgium, and Amsterdam.
• We were able to make one of Jenell’s dream come true…to be able to stand in a GIANT field of flowers as far as the eye can see.
• I had my 34th birthday.
• I got a couple of awesome new tattoos.
• I’m still the shittiest football/soccer player in all the land.
• I survived the May 21st, 2011 Judgement Day…I’m a badass.
• I had dinner at the world famous Fat Duck.
• I’ve seen Damien Dempsey, Mumford and Sons, Arcade Fire, and Weezer in concert.
• I got an iPad 2…YAY!
• Jenell and I went back to Los Angeles for a quick family visit and a friend’s wedding.
• I’ve seen a few crappy movies and a few decent movies…which I will blog about soon enough in my ‘Big Dumb Movie Reviews’ blog.
• One of our most beloved family dogs, Mercedes Gabra, passed away.
• I finally learned how to get around on the tubes and trains of London without having to ask for help…from everone!
• We found out that we will be moving back to Los Angeles on August 3rd.
• Jack Daniels and I have remained close friends.
• Did I mention I got an iPad 2???
• I joined Google+…this is only interesting for the other geeks out there.
• Jenell’s invented the Sunshine Cupcakes…which are officially known as the best cupcakes in England, and soon to be America!!

There are a few other highlights I’ve neglected to mention, some I’ve purposely left out so I can hopefully tell you all in person…and some I’ve just forgotten about.
So, I hope that gives you a good idea of what the last 6 months have been like for me and what has really amounted to the best year of mine and Jenell’s lives.

I know I keep promising that I will keep up with more blog updates, but who am I kidding…I think we all know that it could be a little while before write another one.
Why can’t I just commit damn it?!
I can at least promise you this, I have a feeling my blogs (few and far between) are going to get a lot more interesting and I will make sure to give you all the juicy details whenever those times come (few and far between) that I decide to sit down and write these damn blogs.

Did I mention that I got a new iPad 2…YAY!!!

Here are some pictures from some of the highlights I mentioned above, please enjoy…and as always…LOVE YA, MEAN IT!

• Menu: starters £13.50-16, mains £26-36, sides £4.50, desserts £9-12; the chef’s table accommodates up to 6 people and there is a minimum spend of £900 for the table
• You can view the entire set of photos from this meal on my Flickr site

Heston Blumenthal’s first London restaurant has set the UK’s food media into a frenzy. And with some good reason – the food is pretty good. In a similar vein to the Fat Duck, there is a lot of work that goes into the creation of each dish – both intellectually and in terms of the technical skill required to consistently replicate each deceivingly simple dish on a much grander scale than any of his Bray outposts. The kitchen generally pulls it off, and the service seemed to be pretty spot-on when we dined there (though we were at the chef’s table, so you would expect nothing less). Don’t come expecting the dramatic culinary theatre that Heston is famous for at the Fat Duck – and on many of his TV programs – as the dishes here are far more straightforward in their presentation, with a few exceptions. With a windowful view of Hyde Park – thanks to the newly installed floor-to-ceiling windows – and its very own Swiss watchmaker-fashioned rotating gas-fired rotisserie for pineapples, it’s definitely worth trying when in London.

Much ado about something

First things first. This post is late in coming. Very late. I won’t bore you with why, but apologies for the lack of activity for the last month or so.

This is the last of my posts from the at-one-point recent trip to London I made earlier this year. And what a way to end. But in every end there is a beginning, as one of my favorite poets often said.

The only way I could actually score a table at what was then being billed by most as the hottest restaurant opening in London in a long time, and by some as the best new restaurant in the world (which was probably taking things a little too far), was to book the chef’s table. When I enquired, I found out that there is technically no fee for booking the table, but there is a minimum spend of £900, which can be split amongst up to six guests…so definitely the more the merrier. The £150/person price, in the case of six, pays for the tasting menu, which enables you to sample much of the à la carte menu. Drinks and service will cost extra.

One small point, which relates smaller people. We wanted to bring our daughter with us (who at the time was nine months old), and although this seemed to present a problem at first, the issue was eventually resolved (indeed, there had been no issue in the first place but we seemingly had been misinformed the first time around), though not without some time and effort.

In any case, I will assume for the benefit of most readers that you know who Heston Blumenthal is (if not, see my previous review of his Michelin 3-star restaurant in Bray), and that you know that ‘Dinner’ is his first restaurant in London. You can read about the word play – a typical example of Heston’s historical whimsy – on the restaurant’s website or in many of the other reviews out there. Apparently, the Mandarin Oriental, in which the restaurant is housed, insisted that they use his name on the masthead, even though he personally will not be the chef at the restaurant – a fact he has been refreshingly transparent about from the beginning. Heston’s right-hand man, Ashley Palmer-Watts is in charge of quite literally a small army of chefs (there are more than 40) and kitchen staff, most of whom remain cleverly shielded from the restaurant’s customers, who are likely none the wiser.

Conference of the chefs at the pass

There are 126 covers at Dinner, which makes it by far the largest of Heston’s restaurants – the Fat Duck only has about 40 covers by comparison, and his two pubs in Bray (the Hinds Head and The Crown) are also far smaller. The part of the kitchen that is visible to diners is open, though mostly covered by a sheet of glass that comes down from the ceiling. There are two large islands in the kitchen, which were custom-made by Rorgue, that utilize multi-point induction hobs. As many readers will already know, Heston is well-known for using the sous-vide (or ‘water bath’) method for cooking many of the proteins in his dishes, and there are correspondingly seven large built-in water baths in the main kitchen itself. There is also a Josper oven, which can reach temperatures of over 930° F, which is used for the beef dishes.

A chef in the hidden prep kitchen behind the chef’s table (the thin windows can be automatically made opaque whenever they wish so diners can’t see through)

In addition to all of this, there is a pastry kitchen, which is more or less hidden behind the chef’s table, and there are more prep kitchens located out of site in the bowels of the hotel.

A casual yet carefully considered interior

The design of the restaurant is pleasant enough, without demanding your attention. But once you begin to look around, you do notice that in true Heston style, no detail in this Adam Tihany designed room has been left unconsidered. The space is very open, with high ceilings and floor-to-ceiling windows that were newly installed with the changing of the restaurant’s guard. Brown and gray hues dominate the lower reaches, with wood flooring, unadorned wooden tables, and classy cushioned banquettes. Then there are the oft-noted jelly mold (or possibly cake mold) lamps and the Swiss watchmaker Ebel-designed chrome and steel pulley-operated rotating gas fire rotisserie…for what else but pineapples. The front of house is also smartly attired in well-tailored suits and waistcoats.

We were lucky enough to be dining at the chef’s table

Being at the chef’s table, we had the benefit of each course being presented by the head chef himself. The table itself is very spacious and comfortable for the full party of six, and is arranged in a u-shape that directly overlooks the pass of the semi-open kitchen. Ashley wasn’t there on the day of our visit, but we couldn’t have been happier with the extremely personable Sous Chef Dale, who was heading up the kitchen in his absence.

With Baby LF comfortably seated in one of the corners of the bench seating, some of us opened the beautiful boxes that had been laid down in front of us to peruse the tasting menu.

Lunching at Dinner

The good thing about sitting at the chef’s table is that you get to try a lot of what the normal menu has to offer. In fact, there are no special courses, but rather tasters of the à la carte menu, plus a little surprise at the end which has not yet been rolled out to the main dining room so far as I am aware.

No, it’s not a jewellery box, it’s just your menu, complete with a metal scroll-holder

We did have a quick a look at the menu, although you can obviously keep it a surprise and take it home as a souvenir. However, I wanted to ensure we would be able to taste all of the dishes I had in mind – by this point I had distilled all of the reviews into a list of must-try dishes – so we ended up adding a couple more things to share between the table, something the kitchen was happy to accommodate.

Bread & Butter

While we waited for the first course to arrive, we nibbled on some good quality bread and salted butter, and got comfortable in our little semi-private enclave.

HAY SMOKED MACKEREL (c. 1730): Lemon Salad, Gentleman’s Relish & Olive Oil

This was a pleasant, light and flavorful beginning to the meal. Gentleman’s relish is the nod to history within the dish. Also called patum peperium, it is basically an anchovy paste, which in this case was quite mild and was formed from garlic and anchovy paste as well as a lemon mayonnaise. The pickled lemon salad on top interplayed well with the smoked mackerel, which had a good texture to it. It was perhaps not the most cleanly plated dish, but the flavors worked harmoniously and I enjoyed it. 7/10.

MEAT FRUIT (c. 1500): Mandarin, Chicken Liver Parfait & Grilled Bread

I don’t think there is much to say about this dish if you have already read about it elsewhere. Suffice to say that if you did not know that the inside consisted of chicken liver parfait, you could easily be forgiven for thinking it was an actual mandarin orange, so accomplished was its guise (for those interested, the parfait is frozen so that the gel can set and then it defrosts naturally). The only thing that was not edible was the faux stem and leaves plucked into the top of the creamy spread. What I will say is that the mandarin flavor provided by the outside jelly casing provided a faint but lovely citric counterpoint to the rich foie gras pâté. Jelly is historically a common partner to foie gras, so perhaps this was the nod to the past that the dish was going for. The bread was grilled nicely, with five distinct lines of char, and was the perfect vessel to carry this little ball of mandarin madness to your eagerly waiting mouth. (As a side-note, I am sure the hotel is not too upset that the this dish has almost become the mascot for the restaurant given the fruit after which it was fashioned ). 9/10.

2006 Disznókö Tokaji Aszu, 4 Puttonyos

Much like Billy Joel, we were quite content with a bottle of white and a bottle of red for our meal (even though it wasn’t an Italian restaurant) as not everyone was drinking. However, with the meat fruit I sort of made people have a glass of this above Tokaji. Good thing too, because it was pretty remarkable. It was elegant and had a lingering clean finish that kept it from being anywhere in the vicinity of cloying, and it paired remarkably well with the meat fruit. Highly recommended.

RICE & FLESH (c. 1390): Saffron, Calf Tail & Red Wine (Extra Course)

I had really wanted to try Heston’s version of Risotto Milanese, which at Dinner dons a rather more evocative moniker. The table was split on this one. While the rice was perfectly al dente and the calf tail was gorgeously rich, the dish did have a very strong zing of acidity to it – I would assume from the saffron – and while I didn’t find it off-putting, some did. I thought the garnishing of red amaranth was a nice touch. I will refrain from scoring the dish as everyone just had a spoonful or too and it wasn’t mine alone.

SALAMUGUNDY (c. 1720): Roast Quail, Marrowbone & Horseradish

This dish seems to have gotten a bad rap from many people who have been to the restaurant and reviewed or commented on it. I am happy to be contrarian here as everyone at our table – including me – thought it was pretty excellent. Maybe it was because ours had quail, and I think that the version most people have had contains chicken oysters instead. The quail’s breast was very nicely cooked and went well with the little wobbly discs of bone marrow and the roasted vegetables. The dish was bound together by a horseradish fluid gel, which was made from milk that had been infused with horseradish and then thickened. Some people have commented about the (lack of) quality of the salad leaves, but they seemed perfectly acceptable to me on this occasion. The plating, as with the first course, did seem a little haphazard, but I guess this was purposeful. 8/10.

ROAST TURBOT (c. 1830): Cockle Ketchup & Leaf Chicory

There were lots of varieties of ketchups swimming around before Mr. Heinz reared his head (there is cockle, cucumber and mushroom ketchup on Dinner’s menu alone), and this was the historical element in the turbot dish. Besides the fish, there were baby chicory leaves which were quite bitter and some cockle ketchup which was meant to offset the astringency; the ketchup was made from thickened mussel stock, combined with fresh cockles, capers, gherkins, pickled lemons, pickled shallots, herbs and a tiny bit of tartar. Unfortunately, I don’t think anyone enjoyed the flavors of this dish too much, although the turbot was skilfully cooked. A persistent taste of the sea, which was not particularly pleasant to me, seemed to overwhelm everything else on the plate. Possibly someone else’s cup of ‘t’, but not mine sadly. 5/10.

BLACK FOOT PORK CHOP (C. 1860): Pointy Cabbage & Robert Sauce

Our palates were soon enjoying themselves again, however, as the next course was one of the favorites of the afternoon. This was one of the best pork chops I have ever tasted. We were only given a few slices each, but the whole chops are very thick and come from the fabled Spanish Pata Negra pigs which have excellent marbling that helps to create a very juicy piece of meat. The crunch from the cabbage and the punchiness from the small amount of the modernized Sauce Robert were the perfect complements for this perfectly simple dish. This was a case of sous-vide cooking working perfectly. The texture wasn’t gummy and it almost felt as if you were eating a fine piece of steak. 10/10.

Heston’s famous triple-cooked chips

I had forgotten to order some of Heston’s famous triple-cooked chips, but luckily the kitchen had taken care of this without me asking, and was kind enough to bring out a number of little tins of these thick-cut beauties. They were simply divine. Although I do prefer a thinner frites, it is hard to argue that these are not textbook perfect – so crispy on the outside and so soft and luscious at the core. It was a wonderful bit of starch to go with the last savory dish, which arrived at the same time. 10/10.

SPICED PIGEON (c. 1780): Ale & Artichokes

Dale explained that when they were doing their research for the menu, they came across two historic pigeon dishes, one served with ale and one with artichokes. So they decided to combine these. The pigeon breasts had been gently cooked in a water bath at 56° C for 20 minutes, which rendered them nice and tender; however the skin did have some welcome crispy caramelization to it. Amongst the artichokes were also sprinkled a smattering of onions, rocket and thyme, and the pigeon sauce was finished with an organic ale, which was fairly bitter – but this contrasted nicely with the sweetness from the artichokes and onions. Mrs. LF has never to my knowledge enjoyed a pigeon, but she couldn’t stop raving about this one. I had been worried that the sous-vide cooking might make it a very bland dish (I have recently had meals at very accomplished restaurants where this method took the enjoyment out of the main meat courses) but it again worked well in this instance and made for a thoroughly enjoyable and memorable dish. 10/10.

POACHED RHUBARB (c. 1590): Rosehips & Rhubarb Sorbet

The first of the sweeter dishes was upon us, and there was a bit of controversy here. Most people didn’t care for it too much, but more interestingly, all of us could swear that we tasted beetroot somewhere in the dessert. Not that this was a bad thing, but the kitchen confirmed that this was definitely not the case. We were stumped. So far as I could tell, it was composed of a rhubarb sorbet with fromage blanc and rosehip jam beneath it, plus a (possibly raspberry) tuile. The beautifully presented stalk of rhubarb on the side had been soaked in Campari and was nice enough. It was a fresh and pleasant dessert but the taste of it certainly didn’t wow me. 5/10.

What do you do for a living? Oh, I glaze pineapples

I decided to have a closer look at the craziness of the pineapple grilling apparatus, and got a few pictures of the glazing process. It may be gimmicky, but it is a pretty classy gimmick if you ask me. Luckily, I got to taste the fruits (literally) of the poor pineapple glazer’s labor a little while later.

TIPSY CAKE (c. 1810): Spit Roast Pineapple (Extra Course)

This was without a doubt my favorite of the desserts we sampled. The brioche cake was soaked in the most luscious mix of sugar and brandy (and quite a bit of brandy, hence the name). I can never get very excited about bread and butter pudding – although it is one of Mrs. LF’s favorite things – but I would definitely look forward to eating this most nights. The effect of the rotating roasting on the pineapple was perfect as it had been cooked evenly through and was nicely caramelized on the edges. I thought it was a marriage made in heaven. 9/10.

TAFFETY TART (c. 1660): Apple, Rose, Fennel & Blackcurrant Sorbet

We had eaten what I believe was pretty much the same dessert at the Fat Duck a while back, and I remember writing that besides being one of the most beautiful desserts I had ever come across, it was also truly delicious. I don’t know if my taste buds have moved on or what, but I just didn’t enjoy it this time around. The dessert divided opinions around the table, as had a few of the earlier courses, and I was very let down as this was one of things I was most looking forward to. It still looked very pretty, though instead of being rectangular it was now triangular, reminiscent of the poshest slice of pie you might ever see. It consisted of caramelized puff pastry, and from the bottom up there was a caramel jelly, then caramelized apple, then fromage blanc with rosewater. Beside the blackcurrant sorbet were some crystalized rose petals, fennel seeds, apple fluid gel and some actual fennel. To me the sorbet was too strong and the lovely apple flavor I remember from the Fat Duck version seemed to be absent this time around. 5/10.

NITRO ICE-CREAM TROLLEY

I am not quite sure how the white futuristic ice-cream trolley, from which ice cream is fashioned before you through the use of liquid nitrogen, harkens back to the Halcyon days of British gastronomy, but this is Heston, so you have to give him some leeway, right? In any case, the pastry chef came out of the kitchen and whipped it up in front of us. They said they were still trying to work out some of the kinks with the machine and this is apparently the reason that they haven’t brought it out to the main dining room yet. They said they wanted to make it look like it could have actually been a mixer of some kind way back when, which I guess they have succeeded in doing, but I am not sure why they made it look like something from the Jetsons instead of something more archaic (like they did with the spit roast, for example).

Getting my nitro fix

In any case, there was only one option in terms of flavors: vanilla. So we all had this plus any combination of the four toppings we wanted. I chose freeze-dried raspberries, as the above picture can attest. I didn’t particularly like the ice cream itself because it was simply too soft and hadn’t set properly yet (you can also see this from the photo, which was taken right after it was handed to me). The cone, however, was downright delectable, and was made in-house. After so much of a build up, the ice cream was a bit of a let down. I am sure they will perfect it eventually though. 5/10.

Earl Grey Tea & White Chocolate Ganache with Caraway Shortbread Biscuits

This intensely sweet concoction was served in a little teacup (without a handle) and saucer in a nod to the tea-flavored component of the ganache. I found it slightly awkward to eat and it was also a little too sticky and sweet of an ending for me. The bergamot taste came through well, but it was just too overwhelming for me after all we had eaten. 5/10.

All’s well that ends well

I don’t want you to get the wrong idea of my overall feelings about the restaurant from the somewhat mixed thoughts I (and my friends and family) had about the food. Generally speaking, there is a tremendous amount of technical skill that goes into each dish at Dinner before they even make it to the open kitchen to be finished for serving. There is also a ton of thought put into not only the historical inspirations behind the dishes, but also into the flavour combinations and balance of textures within each plate of food. While it may not be presented as fancily (or fancifully) as it is at the Fat Duck, the technical prowess of the kitchen would be hard to fault. However, this undertaking is at the other end of the spectrum from other new and interesting restaurants in London and elsewhere, which tend to focus on the quality of the produce itself and attempt to let the natural ingredients speak for themselves to different extents. These establishments do not employ the technical wizardry (or the 45 or so chefs) that Dinner does. This doesn’t make one better or worse than the other, as the enterprises have very different philosophies and aims, but it does make it a very different experience.[1]

Our own experience at Dinner was overall a very positive one. From the moment we were greeted and seated at our table, we were exceedingly well looked after. (The only instance where this didn’t happen was right toward the end as service was winding down, where things seemed to lag a little bit). Mathilde (@mathildecuisine), who joined us for the meal, was observing Lent at the time and they catered to her needs well from what I could see. Being Mathilde, when Mrs. LF asked the kitchen for some yogurt for Baby LF, she also asked for some too. Yes, this is the same woman who asked for hot chocolate at noma when only tea and coffee were offered . As with the Danish hot chocolate she received then, she was very impressed by the quality of the simple offering of yogurt at Dinner.

I generally enjoyed the food, but the lows and highs seemed to be more exaggerated that I had expected they might be. I suppose the only dishes I didn’t really enjoy were the roasted turbot and the Taffety Tart. Although a few of the other dishes didn’t stimulate my taste buds all that much, the pork, pigeon and tipsy cake were pretty amazing in their own right.

I didn’t feel like a lot of things were all that new at Dinner (though their descriptors may try to convince you otherwise with their historical verbiage) but I did think a lot of things were excellent. And they made us feel very comfortable. We had a lovely long lunch, with Hyde Park as our backdrop, and got to catch up with old friends in a splendid setting. And you can’t really complain too much about that.[2]

Rating

Ambience: 8/10 (for the chef’s table only; I haven’t dined in the main room)

Service: 8/10 (again for the chef’s table)

Food: 7/10

Wine: the list is comprehensive (as you would expect) but the mark-ups can be stiff, and seemed to average about three times what it would cost you in a retail shop.

For more about my rating scale, click here.

*Note: I have dined at Dinner by Heston Blumenthal once, and it was for lunch at the chef’s table* 

*Note regarding the title: In case you were wondering (I know you weren’t), the title of the review is a play on words with regards to the famous jingle (in America) for the iconic breakfast ‘cereal’ Lucky Charms.*

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[1] For example, this other breed of restaurants – call it the ‘new naturals’ or what you will – also focus heavily on seasonality and availability of local ingredients, whereas I could envisage the menu at Dinner could remain more or less the same throughout much of the year, serving what it wants to serve, rather than what is abundant and fresh during each season. This is not a criticism so much as an observation.

[2] One thing I think they should watch out for is not to fall into the same trappings of the Fat Duck with regards to the menu remaining fairly static over time. As this is a larger restaurant and people will be able to return more easily than at the Fat Duck, they need to mix things up to keep it interesting for diners. I would also humbly suggest that they try to at least acknowledge the changing of the seasons when introducing new menu items.

Anyway, seeing as it’s ‘nice weather for ducks’ I thought I would go with a duck-theme for today’s loveliness…enjoy!

First of all…a duck  on a duck…

*Quack!*

Next we have The Fat Duck…

…the three Michelin star restaurant where Heston Blumenthal…

…carries out his crazy food experiments.

I’d love to go there but it’s about £160 per person! Eep!

How about a glow in the dark rubber ducky instead?

*click picture for link to buy*

He costs £1.25 from Toyday and they do have lots of different duckies as well!

I’ve never had a rubber duck as far as I can remember…I might get me one!

This next one is for my dad seeing as it’s Fathers’ Day!

“I could dance with you till the cows come home. On second thought, I’d rather dance with the cows till you came home.”

Duck Soup starring the Marx Brothers…just for you, Daddy!

I love this next one…

By Margaret Zellner

How cute is that?! Knitted duck feet for babies…I wonder if I could make them for dog…hmm…

This is a free pattern by Margaret Zellner and if you click the picture above it will take you to the Ravelry page for it.

How about duck-shaped cookies?

*click for link*

This cute little cookie was made for a baby shower…but I’m sure it would do just as well at a duck-themed party

Hope you enjoyed the ducks!

Lots of Love,

Ele ~X~

If you don’t want to know specifics or are planning on going to TFD and don’t want the surprises to be ruined please don’t read on, I’m going to be quite descriptive. 

It started just over two months ago; we were at my brother’s wedding and my sister and her boyfriend mentioned The Fat Duck and we all agreed we should go. Why not? So, I looked it up online and the only way to get a reservation is to call the reservation line exactly two months before you want to go, to the day, at 10:00 and wait until you get through. We wanted to go on a Sunday, for lunch, so I called on a random day to seek advice and they said that I had to call on a Tuesday for a reservation on a Sunday. 

This can be a bit tricky if you are working, but I had to excuse myself from the office on the following Tuesday with promises of making the time up another day. Off I went and called the reservation line… engaged. I called again… engaged. I called at least 100 times and didn’t get through. So I did the same the following Tuesday and the Tuesday after that… third time lucky. I estimated that I called 300 times (approx) that Tuesday and finally got through to someone who took my booking for the last table for four (before you actually speak to someone, they put you on hold and someone reads Alice in Wonderland to you, which is a nice touch). 

They asked for any allergies/dislikes and made a careful note of all our preferences. I felt a bit embarrassed listing our various needs/wants but the lady on the phone insisted that she had heard a lot worse. In the end we had a pescetarian (me), a nut allergy, an egg allergy and a severe dislike of cheese and mushrooms! They then sent me a confirmation e-mail, to which I replied mentioning the allergies, etc as they had asked me to do so. 

…skip forward two months… 

So here we are, today, on the 15th of May, 2011. Our reservation is for 12:00 (they are closed for dinner on Sunday and all day Monday) and we live an hour and twenty minutes away. We programme the sat-nav and off we go in our finest gear (there is no dress code but I thought it would be nice to take the Lulu Guinness clutch out for a day trip). 

We arrive 30 minutes early and have a drink in a pub opposite. They are also very popular and recommend wines based on ones picked by Heston himself. The menu didn’t look half bad and might be worth a go in the future. 

The outside is very understated and, as I’ve previously read on other reviews, easily missed. The little village of Bray is very picturesque indeed. 

We were the second table to arrive so we did get to see another table getting served before us. It’s best to try not to watch what is going on and try and save it for when they come around to you. 

There are so many servers and waiters floating around. There’s someone to serve you bread (which I won’t mention again but is absolutely delicious and comes in brown or white and served with salted, unpasteurized Welsh butter throughout the whole meal), someone to serve drinks, someone to fold your napkin when you visit the restroom, someone to actually serve you, someone to cook things in liquid nitrogen for you… I thought people exaggerated when they said there was the equivalent of one member of staff per customer but it looks to be about accurate. 

We were seated (very comfy seating, which is great as you’re going to be seated for 5 hours) and then offered water and then champagne. We weren’t drinking out of respect for the designated driver so we passed up on this and opted for fruit juices, which again were just lovely. We were then offered the wine list which is huge, again we declined and waited for our first course. 

Sadly I don’t have a picture of the first course because they tell you to put it straight in your mouth with no delay (I really did try to get a picture). This was the Nitro poached aperitifs. You could choose from Vodka and lime sour, gin and tonic or Campari soda. Three of us had the vodka and my sister had the G&T. There were “ooo’s” and “ahhh’s” coming from everyone when they came to the table with a smoking vat of liquid nitrogen and we watched in awe as the server put some egg white on a spoon and put it into the nitrogen, swishing it about a bit to “cook” it. He then sprinkled the top with green tea powder and spritzed the air with lime juice. 

It was described as “crunchy on the outside and gooey on the inside” and they were not wrong. You aren’t allowed to bite it in half, it has to go in whole and nitrogen smoke comes out of your nose as you crunch through the crispy shell. My stomach did a flip and my mouth just flooded with saliva as the lime hit it. It was nothing short of amazing. 

At this point we were given a copy of the menu to take away in a wax sealed envelope, I was told that mine was being typed and I would get it later as my menu had been tailored to my liking. 

Next we had the Red cabbage gazpacho with Pommery grain mustard ice cream. 

This was the course I was looking forward to the most and it did not disappoint. I don’t know what I can say about it really, the title gives it away entirely. You get served the ice cream in the bowl with little cubes of something (like cucumber) and they pour over the gazpacho at the table. Why have I not thought of mustard ice cream before? 

Then there was a variation in the menu. I had Jelly of smoked mushroom, truffle cream and pea with oak moss and truffle toast. This exceeded my expectations, it was utterly divine. The jelly of smoked mushroom was a taste explosion and had frozen pea puree on the top, which was also delicious. The truffle toast was a little strong and not quite to my liking but that’s down to whether or not you like truffle, and I’m not too keen as it is such a strong, earthy flavour. 

There is a little theatre here as the server tells you to take a little strip out of a plastic packet and put it on your tongue and let it dissolve on the roof of your mouth. This somehow tastes smokey and mossy and earthy and isn’t bad at all. The server then pours a teapot of nitrogen over a wooden block covered in moss and the smoke creeps over the table like an eery swamp, cue the “ooooo’s”. 

The meat version was Jelly of quail, crayfish cream with chicken liver parfait, oak moss and truffle toast. I’m told that this course was “good” by the boyfriend. I have a feeling my mushroom jelly was tastier though… just a feeling (it was divine!). 

We then moved on to the course that my boyfriend was dreading the most… Snail porridge with Iberico Bellota Ham and shaved fennel or Parsley porridge with shaved fennel for me. 

L was really dreading the snails, but he did actually try a piece of one and he’s still alive, so that’s a bonus. We all liked the parsley porridge; it was completely inoffensive and really quite tasty. I really don’t know why we don’t eat savoury porridge in this way. The fennel was fresh and crunchy and instead of ham and snails, mine had tiny strands of what tasted like a really intensely flavoured sun dried tomato. Stunning is one word to accurately describe this dish. 

Up next is the Roasted langoustine with rhubarb, braised konbu and crab biscuit (for me, picture one) and Roasted foie gras with the other bits for the meat eaters (picture two). 

This was lovely (I’m going to run out of positive, descriptive words here because I’m not very wordy). I’ve always wanted to try langoustine and today I did. The highlight for me though was the crab biscuit. It was just mouth watering and delicious. It reminded me of a Japanese rich cracker, slightly sweet and fishy. I’m assured that the foie gras was also delicious and I believe was a favourite of one of our diners. The rhubarb sauce was thick and sweet and quite yummy. 

After that we had the famous Mock turtle soup from the “Mad Hatter Tea”. 

Before the bowls were brought to the table we were given a bookmark-type piece of card explaining the idea of the Alice in Wonderland Mock turtle soup (everything at TFD is printed on the best quality, thick, cream card) and we were given time to read through it and digest the information. Then the bowls came, looking absolutely stunning, followed by the servers with a wooden box… 

The box contained gold watches (mine was already in a teacup as the gold watches contain gelatine) and each guest was given one to put in their tea cup of hot water. The watch then dissolved leaving behind a rich beef broth which could be poured over the contents of the bowl. This was exciting for a couple of reasons… we were eating real gold, the egg looking thing (turnip jelly) looked like a jiggly egg with mushrooms growing out of it and it was Alice in Wonderland themed! My broth was mushroom flavoured instead of beef and it was absolutely stunning in every way. As you can see from the photo, I had cubes of beetroot in my bowl, the meat eaters had a chunk of beef wrapped in a little parcel and I’m told by L that the beef was “good” (this was a very positive good). 

We then moved on to Sound of the sea. L was the only one that enjoyed this course out of the four of us. We were given a seashell with earbuds in it so that we could listen to the sound of the sea whilst eating our meal. I liked this part of it, it was quite fun and we all looked ridiculous. Then came the food… a fish broth sea foam and three pieces of cured fish. I can’t remember what they were but I did try them all and without sounding too silly… they were very fishy and I am not a fan of fishy fish. The sand was okay, it sort of dissolves in the mouth and leaves crunchy bits to have a chew on and there was lots of different types of seaweed, some of which were okay.  

After that came the Salmon poached in a liquorice gel with asparagus, vanilla mayonnaise and golden trout roe. 

This dish was amazing. It was tasty, it was beautiful, it was fresh, it was… just amazing. Roe is something I said I would never try but, for Heston, I did. I didn’t like it. But once I had put it all to one side I cracked open the liquorice gel to find the most amazing salmon I have ever had in my life (unsurprisingly as this is The Fat Duck). I don’t know where to start, there’s the liquorice gel which is tasty and was more of a texture for me than a flavour, the salmon which was translucent and amazing, the asparagus which was fresh and crunchy, the grapefruit bits which were zingy and amazing and then… the vanilla mayonnaise. This is one of the reasons I know that Heston is an actual genius. Vanilla. Mayonnaise. Some of you will no doubt be squirming at the thought of this but it was so tasty. Like a tangy, firm, vanilla custard if I was to simplify it. It’s something that has to be experienced (and can be bought from Waitrose). 

I could have eaten this course again straight after, it was that delicious. 

Roast turbot with mushroom carpaccio, morel and artichoke and jelly of verjus was next (for me) and lamb with cucumber (c.1805) for the meat eaters. That’s a very simple name for what was a very complex dish and hopefully the pictures will help with this. 

My turbot was roasted to perfection and the morels were very tasty indeed. The other guys enjoyed their lamb and plates were emptied. No one was keen on the cream that you can see just above the lamb and no one finished that. They also had a side dish of lamb bits (neck, sweetbreads, etc) and a mint tea/jelly that was supposed to cut through the richness of the lamb. 

Up next is the highlight (well, for me anyway) and my favourite dish by far. If I had to save one dish to continue on this menu for ever and ever it would be this… Hot & iced tea. 

Witchcraft is the one word I would use when describing this little cup of liquid joy. It had me grinning from ear to ear. It is placed down in front of you in a particular way and you are told to not hesitate in drinking it, which we didn’t (after the photo shoot, obviously). Then down it goes, in sips of course, we’re not animals. The grin then spreads across your face as you experience something utterly genius… one side of your mouth is hot and the other is cold… I’m grinning now, just writing about it. It tasted really good too, but I don’t think that’s the focus on this course! 

Then on to the desserts. Macerated strawberries with an olive oil biscuit, chamomile and coriander and and ice cream cornet. 

The description of this does not do it justice. There is a white chocolate picnic blanket covering a white chocolate topped biscuit crumb base (like a thin cheesecake) with strawberries, mini strawberries, crushed pistachio nuts, freeze dried raspberries, strawberry sauce, coriander seeds, edible flowers and an ice cream cone with salt and pepper ice cream in it… I felt like clapping at this point, it was so good. 

Then more theatre! This got the attention of everyone else in the restaurant because everyone else was being served The “BFG” (black forrest gateau) with Kirsch ice cream and the smell of the black forest, but because it contained gelatine they wheeled over a big pot of liquid nitrogen and cooked me my very own “The not-so-full English breakfast” with nitro scrambled egg and saffron ice cream on top of French toast with tomato jam. 

I’m told that the BFG was not what was expected (I think more chocolate was expected and it was white and spongy inside) but still very tasty and the Kirsch ice cream was very alcoholic. My ice cream was nice, the making of it was more exciting than the eating, purely because saffron is a very strong flavour to put into an ice cream. The French toast was very good though, it was completely covered in a crisp layer of sugar and was quite creme brulee-like in flavour (the burnt sugar flavour). 

This was the only course that they didn’t have an alternative for, so I had to watch. They’re not on the official menu so it doesn’t have a name but they are like cola bottles but instead of being cola flavoured they are flavoured with five different whiskeys from around the world, numbered and increasing in strength as you go through them. I’m told they were very good! 

Like a kid in a sweet shop is the final course. You’re given a card that is scented like a sweet shop and it’s very clever. Inside the bag there is a toffee apple flavoured toffee in an edible (gelatine) wrapper that I was told I could take out of the wrapper or trade with someone else as they are desirable (like being in a playground!), an aerated orange jelly chocolate, a white chocolate playing card and some edible coconut tobacco. 

Other bits and bobs: The staff are amazingly attentive without at all being intrusive, they are funny and reassuring (they can see when you’re a bit nervous about something and are happy to explain what something is) and generally the nicest servers and waiters/waitresses I’ve ever had. The loos are very nice (some people care about stuff like that)!. There is an additional cheese course that you can add at the end for £15, at the start we were tempted but by the end we were far too full. It’s very relaxed once you get over the initial nerves and I would definitely go back again some time. 

So there we go, The Fat Duck, Bray. Go, it’s worth it. 

Note: This post is in no way paid for or sponsored by The Fat Duck.

Top 3 restaurant in the WORLD in 2010, it’s consistently been one of the best restaurants in the world and an absolute must on my recent trip to Europe.

This was, by far, the best restaurant I’ve ever been to in my entire life (so far).

After a 5 min cab ride from Maidenhead train station, the 4 of us arrive at the Fat Duck Restaurant, all ready to have a culinary experience of a lifetime.

The outside doesn’t look like much, if it weren’t for the renowned cutlery signage on the outside, I wouldn’t have known this was a place of business. It’s a large white building with a wooden door. Once we step inside, it’s a whole different world. It’s crowded and waiters, sommeliers, etc are running around.

Coats are removed & we’re seated at out table with some complimentary olives to share.

The restaurant has a cosy feel, the service makes us feel like we’re the only table around, it’s dedicated and expedient. Each table has a different bouquet of flowers as decoration which reinforces the feel that we’re not just another number but we’re being treated as special.

A lot of time and effort have gone into every aspect of the restaurant.

Fat Duck is not just about the food, it’s the smells, sounds & nostalgic memories that makes it a supreme dining experience.

With very little prodding, we all decide to go for the wine pairing (£90) on top of our 14 course degustation (£160).

As I had been doing a great deal of drinking that day, I needed to use the restroom prior to the meal even starting.

Even the hand soap was fat duck branded – such detail for such a minor thing.

Finally we’re ready to start, a trolley comes by & I whip out my tiny little camera in preparation to be wowed (it was funny to see that every table had at least 1 camera and at each table there was usually an SLR).

Apologies in advance for the less than stellar photos but photos never truly do an image justice.

Apertif cart

We were not disappointed.

There were 3 apertifs to choose from: Vodka & Lime Sour; Gin & Tonic; & Campari Soda

I went with the Vodka & lime, the egg white & alcohol mousse was foamed out onto a spoon & was placed into the bucket of liquid nitrogen to poach.

Nitro poached vodka & lime sour with a dusting of green tea powder

We were told to gobble it up before our apertifs melted & there was no hesitation at our table. It was so crisp & fresh, it was almost meringue in texture but with an invigorating coldness to it. If my mouth wasn’t watering before, this definitely would have got it starting.

Red Cabbage Gazpacho

A plate carrying a serving of Pommery Grain Mustard Ice Cream comes out before the deep red gazpacho is poured over it.

Amazing flavour combination, the gazpacho was slightly sour and the mustard gave it that nasal clearing kick at the end.

The nasal clearing was necessary as the next dish strongly involved our olfactory senses.

A bed of moss was brought out as well as something similar to mouth films.

After we put the edible film on our tongues, our mouths were filled with an oak flavour and a teapot was poured over the bed of moss to release the ‘forest of flavour’.

We were suddenly surrounded by a woodsy smell – oak and moss to enhance the environment for the dish pictured below.

Left: Oak Moss & Truffle Toast; Right: Jelly of Quail, Crayfish Cream & Chicken Liver Parfait

This is an homage to Alain Chapel (as stated on the menu). The quail jelly sat underneath the crayfish cream and was an absolute delight to eat. The miniscule toast was crunchy and full of flavour and the combination of the smells & taste had me salivating for more.

This dish was paired with 2004 Peter Lehmann, Wigan Riesling, Eden Valley.

Snail Porridge

Heston’s famed Snail Porridge with Iberico Bellota Ham & shaved fennel. This was a fantastic dish which far outshines any escargot I’ve had previously.

The porridge was warm & the snails were cooked to perfection, soft & delicate. This was amazing and so flavoursome.

This was paired with: 2006 Collio Bianco, Klin, Primosic, Friuli-Venezia-Giulia (Italy)

*sigh* As I write this, it just makes me want to return to England for another meal at Heston’s Fat Duck Restaurant.

Roast Foie Gras

Ah the foie gras, with a rhubarb gel, braised Konbu & paper-thin crab biscuits. The crab biscuits were out of this world, the crisp texture contrasted with the perfectly cooked foie gras and just made this a mouth-watering dish.

This was paired with: 2008 Vouvray, Abbaye de Marmoutier, Vigneau-Chevreau, Loire Valley (France)

Next up was something I was very eagerly anticipating. After having watched Heston’s Feasts about the Victorian era, I was greatly excited by the fact that we were going to be joining the Mad Hatter’s tea party.

The menu stated we were to be having Mock Turtle Soup, but where was the soup?

The waiter then comes out with a glass case filled with gold pocket watches.

Note: I have edited this photo (poorly) as the lid is glass and so there was another diner visible in the background. If you were having a delectable dinner, I doubt you’d appreciate having your photo taken by some random stranger & posted on the internet.

Mad Hatter etiquette dictates that one’s gold pocket watch must actually be dipped as you would a tea bag.

The waiter pours the hot water over my watch and I watch it slowly unravel before I stir my ‘tea’.

Hey presto! The gold watch was actually solid beef consommé which had been in a watch mould & covered in gold flakes.

The consommé is then poured over our plates to complete our Mock Turtle Soup. Obviously, you cannot have Mock Turtle Soup without Mock Turtle Eggs, which consists of a turnip mousse with a yellow swede gel. Tiny mushrooms have been placed onto the ‘egg’ & surrounded my micro herbs and slivers of turnip & truffle. This was combined with a piece of braised veal head meat.

I love the theatrics of it all, the novelty made me feel like a child again & we were all enthralled with the splendor that was the Mad Hatter’s Tea Party.

Next up is my absolute favourite dish of the night.

Ipod in a sea shell

Waves, sea gulls, crunching of someone walking through the sand, listening to this, I could easily imagine I was at the seaside enjoying a lovely day at the beach.

Sounds of the sea

Fresh cured fish, sand, seaweed & wave foam – what more could you want?

The sashimi was the best sashimi I’ve ever tasted, consisting of Haliburt, Yellowtail & Mackerel – it was just so fresh and tasty.

The sand had the crunch & texture you’d expect from sand except it had the most glorious taste. It was made from tapioca & dried eels and was divine – if real sand tasted like that, I’d be down at the beach chowing down all day everyday.

The foam was made of a salty seaweed stock and just completed the whole sea feel of the meal.

Stunned silence is the best term I could use to describe our table as we ate this, there was no discussion during, just the intense pleasure of us enjoying this fantastic dish.

If I were stuck on a desert island, I would gladly eat this 3 (or more) times a day for the rest of my life.

*sigh*

*sigh*

Best dish EVA.

This was paired very well with: DaiGinjo Masumi Nanago, Miyasaka Brewery, Nagano Prefecture (Japan)

Salmon poached in liquorice gel

I’m not a fan of liquorice or of cooked salmon, but there wasn’t a single Fat Duck dish that I found unpalatable. This was no exception, together with crunchy artichokes, vanilla mayonnaise & golden trout roe, it was an overall lovely dish.

This was paired with: 1997 Rosso del Veronese Ripasso, Campofiorin, Masi, Veneto (Italy)

Anjou Pigeon

If you’ve never liked blood pudding before, you’ll definitely like this one. Again, everything perfectly cooked, the pigeon was wonderful, the blood pudding was very rich and the crackers were divine.

Even though all the portions so far had been small, they and the wine do start adding up and I was quite full by this time. Having such a rich and heavy meal didn’t help things at this point but I persevered and soldiered onto completion of our 14 course degustation.

This dish was accompanied by the Risotto below.

Risotto of Spelts & Umbles

As we waited for this dish, our table was debating (without using google) what spelts & umbles were. 1 person thought they were some sort of oat, another thought it was offal. Turns out they were both right. Who knew puffed cereal & innards (including heart) would go so well together?

The crunchy cereal just added an extra depth & crunch to the meal. I also found this to be rich but thoroughly pleasing to the taste buds. This would be ranked in the top half of dishes I experienced at Heston’s.

The pigeon & risotto were paired with: 2004 Val de Cornia Suvereto, Olpaio, Rubbia Al Colle, Tuscany (Italy)

Hot & Iced Tea

Now for something to cleanse the palette before dessert & it does not get any better than this. It felt like 2 different liquids swirling in my mouth with different parts of my tongue & mouth flashing hot & cold. It was magical & enthralling and definitely shook us out of our food-induced stupor ready to lay into the desserts.

Galette of Rhubarb

Neroli scented Yoghurt, Rhubarb Sorbet with a Rhubarb Crisp. Sweet & sour, refreshing on the palette after the rich & filling dishes. This was quite tart and highly enjoyable.

Paired with: 2007 Graševina Izborna Berba Prosušenih Bobica, Krauthaker, Kutjevo, Slavonija (Croatia)

BFG – Black Forest Gateaux

This was phenomenal – layers of chocolate mousse, kirsch cream, chocolate ganache, sour cherries, chocolate cake, aerated chocolate & biscuit base. It is then spray-painted with chocolate, given a crunchy trail of chocolate rocks & a dollop of ice cream.

It was an absolute delight to eat and as full as I was (near bursting point), all I wished for at that moment was more of it.

*sigh*

This was paired with: 2009 Alelia, Dolç Mataró, Alta Alella, Catalunia (Spain)

I’ve had a craving to make black forest gateaux since this experience. Or if I’m feeling really ambitious, I could try making Heston’s BFG – the recipe can be found in his ‘In Search of Perfection’ series.

The cheese trolley then comes whizzing around and my stomach is both protesting against more food & desperately wanting a nibble of some creamy, cheesy goodness for an extra £15.

In the end, the 4 of us decided to split 1 cheese plate as our stomaches could not take any further abuse (I fear we were too close to a food coma by this point, I knew I was)

We obviously managed to find some space to demolish these cheeses & crackers before returning to the last 2 courses of the degustation menu. Cheesalicious.

Whisk(e)y Wine Gums

The texture – like jelly babies. The taste – like a shot of whiskey. I sucked on each ‘lolly’, enjoying the smooth, oaky warmth sliding down my throat. I am no means a whiskey drinker & this would not convert me, but it was another delightful example of Heston’s genius.

Last, but most definitely not least, came the finale:

Like a Kid in a Sweet Shop

Clockwise from top left: Aerated Chocolate with Mandarin Jelly; Apple Pie Caramel with Edible Wrapper; Queen of Hearts Tart; Coconut Tobacco;

A candy-striped bag of goodies is placed in front of us with a sniffable menu card. As we were all nearly comatose at this point (from a combination of food, wine & exhaustion after 5 hours of dining), we all decided to take this as a goodie bag to consume the next day.

Wacky tobacky – coconut crunch with tobacco aroma

Edible playing card – white chocolate tart with raspberry filling & the envelope had an edible ‘wax’ seal

At the end of our night, a copy the degustation menu & wine list are given to us in envelopes sealed with the Fat Duck logo.

Absolutely love it! A cherished souvenir from my travels.

The bill for 4 people – £1207 (March 2011)

Worth it? Hells yeah, I’ll definitely be back there the next time I’m on that continent.

The lowdown:

The good – everything? Sound of the Sea, BFG, Pigeon, etc *sigh*

The mediocre – mediocre should never be used to describe this phenomenal restaurant

The bad – that the meal doesn’t last for eternity and that it eventually ends?

Details:

Fat Duck Restaurant

High Street, Bray, Berkshire SL6 2AQ England

Phone: +44 (0) 1628 580 333 (Reservations critical)

http://www.thefatduck.co.uk/

Reservations Tip: Reservations for the day you want to dine open 2 months prior to that date & it’s first in best dressed. You MUST call them for the best odds of a reservation. Online reservations are possible but that opens later (I believe).

Whilst trying to secure a reservation, I had my phone & Skype & a friend simultaneously calling them. Fortunately my friend got through and I will be eternally grateful to her for it.

The only time I got through on the phone was to get the answering machine saying all dates until XX date have been booked out. Persistence pays so keep at it until you get through. We had to keep trying for several days until we finally got through to their reservations desk.

Good luck & it’s well worth the time, effort & funds.

If you liked this, you may also like my attempts at some of Heston Blumenthal’s recipes (See here for other Heston Blumenthal related posts)