Destined to happen
Everything falls into place
No escape — dodge this.

i tried reasoning  out with everything that’s happening right now. but really, i just couldn’t figure it all out. now i stopped trying. whether i know all the reasons or not, i’m gonna be fine. i’ll just take it all in. ’cause finally, the reality is now better than my dreams.

Historically, the Devil has played a big part in barter, trade, and retail folklore.

Mephistopheles, the old retail master, has come a long way since that Faust legend of trading a soul for a wife.

These days we seem to be making all manner of deals with the Devil.

But the Devil doesn’t just want your soul anymore.

His standards for fair trade have changed a bit.

Hell is presently experiencing an economic glut in souls—supply is exceeding demand.

Mephistopheles will now accept other fees.

So if you’re looking for a good deal, Carpe Diem!

And right before Christmas, too!

Now, I’m no investment specialist, but I have noticed some real bargaining going on out there in the fray of our dealings with the Devil.

Most of these bargains come with Ginsu knives and many offer bonus deals if you dial 1-800-Gimme right now.

But if you go straight to the Devil’s warehouse, you can look in the Vanity Aisle, on the Convenience Shelf, into the Ignorance Case, (the one with fool proof glass) and on the Sale Rack of Fate, to find these special items and strike a bargain with the old trade master, in person.

Descriptions of what you can buy…and…What it will cost you—later.

Personal Convenience:

Easy to install and operate.

Runs on complete lack of responsibility with rechargeable credit cards, loaded with immediate gratification.

Comes with automatic thought controls and a powerful, spontaneous consumption engine that may be steered rampantly over human value, extinct species, healthy food, and personal integrity, by corporate propaganda.

A very reliable generator of justifications has been built in by marketing experts.

On the receipt is a coupon for two round trip tickets to bathe in Moon water after making a mess on Earth.

Bonus feature: Sturdy petroleum base product with Banker seal of approval.

Price to be paid: Social and Ecological Bankruptcy

Security

Includes a colorful alert system and a monitor enhanced with a panoramic view of all your neighbors, a specially designed toggle switch that leans to the right for easy operation, and a temporary thrill seeking device that allows the user to experience intermittent shock waves through media manipulation, inducing a euphoric inspiration to get naked in airports and a self righteous exhilaration derived from profiling races other than one’s own.

Price to be paid : Ten Bills of Rights and some change

Emotional Comfort:

Comes with smooth to swallow pills and easy to digest health related labels, which are artistically created in think tanks and laboratories to accommodate any sensitive reaction to a culture that is completely irrational and short sighted.

Guaranteed to alleviate that nagging feeling that something is very wrong here.

Provides a quick fix to any questioning type thinking and maintains a palatable social climate with a built in pull string lullaby to abate any revolting side effects.

Price:  Your Mental Stability and Confidence in Reality

Complacency

Gently used, and gift wrapped by indigenous people who are being exploited in places you’ve never heard of, so you don’t have to think about them while global homogenization settles like dust on your imported furniture.

This item is user friendly with flexibly lined edges and non resistant conformity for superior feelings of entitlement and relaxation.

One size potentially fits all. Diversity not included.

Price: Your Humanity

Spirituality:

This is an exceptionally good deal since the Devil doesn’t really need your soul any more.

You can obtain this item outside the Devil’s warehouse without a contract.

There are a myriad of Con men, Cult leaders, Megalomaniacs, New Age Promulgators of invented truths, and Predators of your need to find answers in a world gone nuts, who are willing to give you this for mere cash.

But for those other things—and more, you’re evidently gonna have to cut a deal with Mephistopheles.

Unlike Dr Faustus, your exchange contract may stipulate a collection due date that extends beyond twenty four years, so your kids might have to pay for these purchases later, but Hey, you get to have ‘em now!

And…

You get to keep your *Soul!

Woo Hoo!

*May be limited to what’s in store.

This is just one example of why my home state is the greatest.

Vermont FTW!

The people you situate yourself with will influence you, no matter how distant you stay. The people that are around you know you the best, even if you are unpredictable! Yet the people that say they know you are the people that really know you the least. We think we know someone, but really we have no idea. I never really let anyone into my life, but we’re all insecure about somethings, right? No one really knows what it’s like to be me, and that goes for everyone. We’re unique, just like everybody else. People in your life will hurt you, fact. But that doesn’t mean you didn’t hurt people. Everyone goes through heart-ache through a time, whether it loss, relief, love or even happiness. Just remember, you don’t know me. You don’t know what it’s like to be me or to be inside of my brain. You will not be able to break my innocence of being me.

Joe and Kate go to a funeral part III

Joe and Kate go to a funeral part II

I love to make things from scratch for the holidays, and with the holidays upon us, I am off to the store to buy all the ingredients I will need to bake my ass off again this year. Much of it will be shipped to friends and family across the country, some of it will be offered as gifts to our new friends in our new home. As it turns out, the phrase “from scratch” also applies to my love life. I’ve got a fresh start here and I can pick and choose my own ingredients for whatever recipe for love I decide to cook up!

The dream recipe for my guy has taken years to perfect (in my mind). He’s around 5″11, beautiful smile, strong features, and amazing hands that fit perfectly in mine. He’s usually bald, or salt and pepper, little dimples, and it matters little what he does for a living or what his body type is, because when I am with him, the whole universe evaporates anyway. I am safe and warm and I fantasize (see my blog Destiny—- from August 2009) he is the one I run into in my new downtown on December 15th. He’s the guy that will pick up my bags as I clumsily drop them enroute to my car (or something like that!).

But in all actuality, what if he’s not there? What if I have to continue to bake this dream, define it, test it in the kitchen before I can offer it to someone else wrapped up with love along with all the other homemade confections? As I “cook up” this fantasy of finding my dream man in the beautifully decorated streets of my town, what if he’s still in the oven? What if he’s still friggin married, separated or recently widowed? Crap, what chance do I have then? My warm, chewy, delicious gingerbread man, isn’t running down the street away from the little old woman looking for his wonderful new woman, he’s still laying on the cookie sheet in a toasty 350 degree oven…..wait for it….. getting crispy and perfect without ME! But, but, I’m ready NOW! Out of the oven, dammit, I’ve waiting long enough to frost your cute little face!

Baking is an art. Finding the love of your life is evidently a culinary art of its’ own. You don’t just throw some flour and sugar and a couple of large Grade A eggs into a bowl, mix for 4 minutes or until smooth, and roll it all into Mr. Perfect! Even on my best baking day, I couldn’t pull THAT off! It’d be nice… but that’s another blog entirely…

I’m going to bake this year. And as the eternal optimist I am going to be on that square on December 15th. I will look fabulous – for me. I’ve accomplished all I’ve ever wanted so far in life and being here only solidifies my certainty that I will very soon fufill the rest of my dreams. Of course they include my dream man, but I’ve been “baking” long enough to know that even if I am “done”, he might not be. He might need some more time in the oven so to speak. He might need to catch up with me, like the gingerbread man in the book begging all to join in the chase for the elusive warm cookie.

My melt in my mouth moment has already happened. I am living it every day of my life. I savor in every bite, enjoy the flavor, and go back for seconds, just because my life is sooo delicious right now!

I’m going to look for love – from scratch this time. I love the possibilities it offers. Like a recipe, I will try to follow the directions, I’ll put alot of love into the bowl of life, and hopefully if it all makes its’ way into the oven and I time it just right, the end result will be a perfectly baked love – from scratch!

I am exactly the girl I knew I would be when I was five. The trick is finding the guy who makes this cookie feel “whole” and frosted from head to toe – with love. I pray for all my readers to find the “sweet love” of their life!

Love,

Mel

Toda una Lindura, Monada o como lo digan en su país. Fate Testarrosa

Nuevamente al popular Fate chan ahora en version Nendo por GSC y versión de la película.

La figura saldría a la venta en Marzo del 2010 a un precio sugerido de 3,500 yen su tamaño es aproximadamente 100mm.

Como pueden ver ella esta vistiendo su barrier jacket, incluye 3 expresiones faciales (seria, normal y ojos cerrados). Viene incluido ‘Bardiche’ que se puede ver en forma de hacha y de guadaña. También viene acompañada de su fiel Arf.

Hace pareja con Nanoha versión nendo la cual vemos en esta foto

La figura puede ser reservada desde ya en los sitios que patrocinan ImperioMoe

teach me to stop foreseeing
the future that won’t be mine
this end is my new beginning
don’t let me mistake my time

this means there will be no maybe
no if, no perhaps, no wait
my life must continue daily
constructing my own fate

my fate is a beautiful journey
my passions will find their fill
my love and faith will exalt me
my strength will conquer the ill

so here’s to ultimate future!
where I am the owner in charge
and greener there isn’t a pasture
with malachite roads to march
—
Friday, November 27, 2009

I’m not sure I like the movie Serendipity. (I just watched it, yes I’m slow.)

Is it romantic? Sure. The winter snow fall, the beautiful scarves, gloves and coats (I love winter wear, sorry), the lit up Christmas trees and string of lights, and the couples skating around Central Park – all so lovely.

But the whole idea of Serendipity? Destiny? Fate? The one true love? I watch it with trepidation and dismay. It scared me to death.

How can meeting a person just for a few hours, determine your entire life? How can you think that person is the one you’re meant to be with, when you don’t know their fears, their joys, their loves, how they are like when they are mad, when they are excited and when they sad? And most importantly, how can one so easily let someone else go, the person whom you’ve shared your life with for many years, whom you have asked to marry/or agreed to marry, who has stood by your side and know you best?

We all gush and cheer and get all teary-eyed when the main characters (in this case John Cusack and Kate Beckinsale) fall in love in that one serendipitious moment and eventually meet again, but nobody remembers the peripheral characters, the ones who actually matter, whom you go to sleep with at night, who were there far longer than those who just hopped in at the last second, the people who were hurt and had to stand aside for this silly thing called ’serendipity’. Does anybody ever think about what happened to those people?

Call me a non-spontaneous wet blanket for not being able to toss it to the winds and embracing your ’soulmate’ when he/she comes. But to me, all these words are just pretty ones for something simpler – aching for something new because you are tired of the staid. Commitment phobe. Or, having an old love that has run its course.

All these idealised catchphrases that rhapsodize romance stoke the flames of unrealism. It  plants very unhealthy seeds into people’s minds.

I’ll admit I’m normally very sentimental and can occasionally fall prey to these Hollywood creations of what is love. But I don’t think it is ok to search for this other girl (whom you’ve only spent a few moments with and immediately think is the one for you) 3 days before the wedding, and dump your fiance the day before the wedding (at least give it a few weeks/months!). And it is not ok to flirt, kiss, and exchange numbers with someone that you are attracted to with the sole intent of hooking up with them when you are already with someone else. It is not ok to think that there is just one person out there for you, and the rest are just the backup you settle with when there’s no other choice. That just isn’t fair to the person that you are with, it just isn’t.

There is no soul mate. There is just the person that you love and choose to spend your life with. Whether you let the love and magic slip away or not depends on you.

I’m done.

I’m through.

It’s over.

I’m finished trying to run, finished trying to control, and finished trying to be independent. Trying to be a grown-up. Let fate fall where it may, and I guess I’m leaning against the old fallback of “if God wills it.”

But seriously. At this point, if God wills it, I’ll be one intensely blessed grateful dumb shit.

I’m done.

I’m done with pretending that I’m an adult. I’m not, okay? So get over it and leave me alone. I’m struggling to get into a college that I know I’m not prepared for in a competitive world that’s waiting with eager, dripping jaws to eat me alive. I’m not ready.

I’m through.

I’m through sitting back and letting my hundreds of responsibilities run amok over me. It’s partially my fault through disorganization, partially my fault through neglect. I’m doing so much I can’t focus on the important things. If something doesn’t go, I will. I’ll go insane. So I’m through being trampled by my own many loves and passions, and I’m through being choked and hung by the dramas of my friends and school life. I’ve got to distance myself from it, before it gets me. If I don’t focus, and work my ass off on the thing that is most important, I won’t get anywhere. Ever.

It’s over.

So it’s over, kids, and here I am typing as a shakily resolute and keenly terrified individual who’s not grown up and who’s ready to practice and who really just wants to stay home and love her life and her family in peace.

But Time and Nature won’t allow it. So ready or not, I’m out in less than a year. If I go to a shitty school, well hey, that’s my own fault. Goodbye, Eastman. Nice looking at your name on the website, C.I.M. I wish I would have been good enough. I’m sorry for wasting your time, Heather. I’m deeply sorry, Mrs. Ripley.

What happens, happens. If I can’t contact anyone and have them be my savior with my transcript and SAT score report today, then I am fucked. And who can or will help me, the irresponsible procrastinator who is falsely deluding herself that she can make it in the vicious world of music?

I just want to sing. And that will probably never happen now, because I’m a fucking retard.

So guess what.

I’m done.

I don’t think anyone can go to New Orleans and not leave without out at least having her cards or palm read. Psychics and readers abound, with a few of the more daring souls having set up shop with their folding chairs in front of the venerable old St. Louis Cathedral. As prognostication is a black art and usually frowned on by the church, I thought I’d play it safe and have my cards read around the corner on Royal Street.  But not before stopping into the old Cathedral, lighting a candle, saying a prayer, and making the perfunctory “first time” wish – granted to all Catholics every time we visit a new church.

Talk about hedging my bets.  Hey, we’re talking cards here, right?

Play the hand you're dealt

I took the cards and shuffled the deck and laid out my choices before Shelley the Seer.  As I turned a card over and saw the very scary face of what looked like the devil – I wondered if I could trade in a few cards for a better hand.  I asked Shelly, and she told me, “This isn’t poker you know. You play the hand you’re dealt.”  Okay, okay I thought.  This is why God doesn’t allow us to see around corners, and why shortcuts to the future are only for fun.

Shelley gave me a dream reading, one that all single women would love to hear. The scary card was actually my karma card – uh oh!   And the card that went with it – some sort of tree with lots of branches – foretold a new love … a love like no other with someone I would recognize the moment I finally met him.  It was someone from a past life and thus the connection to karma. But she warned me that I had to be open.

What me, not open?  Of course I’m open – you only have to look at my recent dating / relationship history to see that I was perhaps a bit too open.  Upon further reflection, however, it occurred to me that there is a big difference between being open and being available.  And now fate was presenting me with a good opportunity to learn the difference.

In this case, being open meant looking at all of the possibilities regardless of who they were.  And since I have been wandering in a non-dating desert for several months now, any karmic strangers appearing on the horizon now would be hard to miss.  All I had to do was meet him for the first time – again.

The reading made me think of the newly released song, “I Just Haven’t Met You Yet” by Michael Buble.  It’s a love song about being open to the possibilities despite previous set backs in love.  It’s a song about keeping the faith with yourself and with the whatever the universe, or God, has in store.

Who knows if it’s really the cards or the candle that dictates one’s fate?   In the end it doesn’t really matter.  What does matter is the belief that secret hopes or silent prayers are always answered.  Perhaps it might not be in the way Shelley or I had imagined, but hey that’s the future for you; it’s always full of surprises.

UN COCCHIO TRAINATO DA CENTO TI AMO
Un cocchio trainato
da cento ti amo,
una biga nell’arena
vittoriosa sul traguardo
si perde…
nel mio sguardo,
fisso e imperscrutabile
al mellifluo tuo aspirar.
Lontani ormai i nostri richiami
scoppiettano scintillanti
vicino a falò accesi
da candele di processioni,
nostre peregrine in destini
di ardite concessioni.
Alimenti vitali
in pasti mortali
cuociono, lentamente
su vivida fiamma,
il saziar dell’eros
come divina manna.
Fiamme memoniche,
bracieri di passione
nostri roghi mai spenti,
si attizzano nei camini
coi nostri cuori vicini

Powered by ScribeFire.

Your earliest memory, from the cot dreams

toys hoofing in a ring of light, to the tune

it’s a small world, after all that is poetry in itself

apropos of such unfolding, in nonage, in infancy

marriage at twenty-five, offspring by thirty

was never yours, nor office administration

not even the longest term mortgage, to settle you

into the long haul, the long yards,

the back yards, and cats and dogs

none of them yours. It was written in a villanelle

it was ordained by Auden, it killed your chances

you slid by the cornfields, under Van Gough’s sill

you fell into a lustful fate, a pond of muddy water

you swam with the eels, your electric adult

on the blink, powering down and dreamless.

DESPONDENCE

by: Wilbert C. Laforteza

An importunate fate stormed my dusky pathway
All in a sudden, gathered hope…all blown away!
Was badly hurt, I strove, and I struggled for life
But the untimely storm kept pressing me down, rife!

Yes, I did my best not to blunder and squander
Yet the world seems so rugged, there’s much to ponder
Impunity strafed! I’m wounded…covered with gloom
Crawled begging help from anyone, even from a hoodlum

Guts, slowly sucked by the mighty quicksand of traverse
Captured each leaf of dreams…blurred life, slowly perverse
Alas! My future’s nightmare seems unstoppable
Pesky predicament’s fruit, it’s abominable!

Cold breeze of misery whirled vastly and staggered me
But I cringed ardently like a dauntless army
Rain of tribulations spattered on everywhere
Oh! I’m hit, I’m blinded…now drifting to nowhere

Life’s strait gate, sieves the entrant who bravely aspire
Dress-up with a coat of courage, then, transpire
I can bear this boldly although hope had faded…
But with courage and zeal, I’ll rise and be lauded!