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Many times people simply cannot afford expensive anxiety treatments. We might not have health insurance so we can’t afford medication or doctor appointments. Or, maybe we just don’t believe that an anxiety pill is the answer. Read more

Get control over unnecessary Fear and Anxiety

Do you ever feel that your thoughts and emotions control you, rather than the other way round?

Sometimes, you can feel as if something bad is about to happen for no apparent reason. As if you are about to have to do something, but you don’t know what.

This sort of general anxiety or fear is usually generated by an unconscious response to the ‘misuse’ of the imagination. Basically, the ‘back part’ of the mind is getting the message from the imagination that something bad is going to happen, and so creates a state of readiness in the mind and body: anxiety.

This can partly be due to experiences in the past, or a lack of an ability to tolerate uncertainty – not knowing what is going to happen, but whatever the reason, using anxiety hypnosis the mind can learn to relax and take things as they come.

And this is how this ‘hypnosis for anxiety and fear’ session works. Using hypnotherapy, anxiety melts away, enabling you to enter a calm and relaxed frame of mind. The unconscious mind can then learn to ‘re-set’ its responses to things back to normal, allowing you to enjoy every day with less anxiety, and more comfort.

We visited family in another state to celebrate Thanksgiving. We hired the huz’s sister to walk our dog a few times a day for us, since we couldn’t be here to do it. I found out later from the huz that she told my mother-in-law this whispered atrocity: “They leave the lights on, even when they’re not there!” Quite the shonda for the neighbors. (Shonda is a yiddish word for ’shame’.)

Anyway, as is usually the case with family affairs, his mom told him, and he told me. The huz got a kick out of it, but I was of course ashamed. The thing is, I leave the lights on because I am terrified of the dark. My fear of the dark was actually Reason #1 why you shouldn’t fuck kids. Well, in order to live with a fear of the dark, it means living with the lights on all the time. Even when I am not home, because I can’t bear to be in the house for that last second while I shut off the light and go out the door. And I certainly cannot bear to walk back into a house with no lights on.

Maybe it is a waste of electricity. I guess it is a waste. I guess we can all choose to be upset about the wasting of electricity, or we can look at the cause of the waste of electricity in my case (fear of the dark as an after-effect of surviving childhood sexual abuse) and be upset about that. Maybe if we all got as upset and vigilant about stopping childhood sexual abuse as we are about shutting off our lights, no new electricity would need to be wasted.

My name is Butterfly and I leave the lights on when I’m not home. I waste electricity because I am afraid of the dark. This is why you shouldn’t fuck kids.

Director – K. C. Bascombe

Cast – Kevin Zegers, Jesse James, Rachel Starsken, Charles Edwin Powell, Linda Purl

Release Year – 2002

Reviewed by John of the Dead

This is a film I remember seeing way back in 2002 when it was first released, and I remember liking it. Here I am viewing this film seven years later and for the most part…I STILL like it. Fear of the Dark is pretty low-budget, yet stars some actors that have gone to do some pretty big recent horror films. After he came to fame with kids and soccer moms in the “Air Bud” movies and before he went on to do Wrong Turn and the Dawn of the Dead remake, Kevin Zegers broke into the horror scene with this film. His costar Jesse James appeared as Ryan Reynolds’ son in the 2005 remake of The Amittyville Horror and Rachel Skarsten appeared in the awesome flick Jack Brooks: Monster Slayer. Pretty impressive for a group of actors in a lesser known movie.

The plot for this film is very simple. Ryan Billings(Jesse James) is a twelve year old boy who has been diagnosed with a very strong fear of the dark(thanks to earlier events in his life). He spends each and every night in utter fear and freaks out at the mere sound of a light bulb flickering and showing it is low on juice. One night his parents decide to go out for an important date and leave him home alone in the care of his older brother Dale(Kevin Zegers), who believes his younger brother is just a huge sissy and not actually seeing things in the dark. Soon enough, strange things start to happen during a really bad thunderstorm. This only gets worse when the power goes out, and Dale gets a close look at the creatures of the dark that have been tormenting his little brother for years.

I think a big reason why I enjoy this film is because I can relate to it, as well as many other people. At one time or another most of us were afraid of the dark, especially after watching a really scary movie (The Evil Dead) when you were young and vulnerable to almost anything. Although I was never as afraid of the dark as Ryan was, I still remember checking my closet, looking under my bed, and keeping my head under the covers when I heard weird noises that I could not explain myself. We see all of these actions in this film, and it brought back some scary, yet fun memories and helped me identify with the film’s characters.

The atmosphere in this film was enjoyable and something we can all relate to. I’m sure at one point or another we all have had our power go out late at night in the middle of a thunderstorm, and there is a very good reason why we light candles and tell scary stories during those mements…because the setting works!

I personally enjoyed the looks of the creatures and found them to be quite creepy. The tall creature with the long coat and cowboy had looked pretty original to me, and the old lady in the basement brought back memories of Sam Raimi’s demons in his Evil Dead trilogy. Oh, and there is even a shout-out to Evil Dead in this film. Ryan is trying to watch something fun and happy on television but the tv keeps changing the channel to the demon scenes in Evil Dead. I love the film, and was glad it was used in this flick. Plus I never get tired of hearing Sam Raimi’s distorted voice saying “Join us…JOIN US!!!”. Hehe.

The acting in this flick was surprisingly well done given most of these actors really did not have much previous film experience. If there is one aspect I need to knock this film on it is the special effects. The effects involving the disappearing and reappearing of the creatures was pretty cheesy and screamed “Low Budget!”. A little more action here and there during the first and second movements would have been nice as well, and would have helped the film’s pacing a little bit. There is a lot of development in this film and we don’t get much of the good creature action until about the last 20-30 minutes of the film. However I must applaud director K. C. Bascombe for using atmosphere to his advantage and giving us lots of scenes trying to scare us with what we DON’T see. It’s genius and I never get tired of that notion in horror. His use of camera angles and sound effects was genius and perfectly executed.

Overall, I enjoy this film and recommend it to anyone who wants a simple film to watch and bring back memories of when you were afraid of the dark. This film is low-budget, but if you look past that then you can see the integrity behind this film and find it to be a positive watch.

Rating: 5.5/10

I asked a non-fan to pick an Iron Maiden album for a review just based on the cover. Heidi picked “Fear of the Dark”. Nice covert art, indeed, because when we talk of Iron Maiden, we think of their mascot Edward “Eddie” T. Head.  I remember my mixed feelings about the album in 1992. But, being a good hardcore fan I “forced” myself to appreciate the album like a good Maiden Army soldier.  I have been unable to do so for their previous “No Prayer For The Dying” even to this day. The Adrian Smith departure from the band had been disastrous to me. Worse the cover art was not as great. Now back to “Fear of the Dark”….

The cover art

OMFG! Eddie… He looks somewhat different. The teeth it was. Since Derek Riggs gave us a “just good” previous album cover, it was an improvement but no reference to previous albums; not event the “Maiden logo”. Mistaken for years for the Iron Maiden logo, the signature of Mr. Riggs was not on the cover art. Who the fuck is Melvyn Grant? Well… Now I know why the feeling is not right looking at it. Do not get me wrong;  Eddie being a monster morphing from a tree is a great idea. But, like in a painting, you can tell which one is fake by a feeling. Mr Grant has been able to recreate the ambiance to some extent but ah well… I am very conservative regarding Iron Maiden. I would give it 7 on 10. Sorry, Mr Grant, but I remain loyal to Derek Riggs.

The music

The album started well with Be Quick Or Be Dead. Fast and Dickinson showed us somewhat of  Air Raid Siren time but nothing to impress the old fans. The solo is fast and short, but at least it contains an exchange between the guitarists. They made an EP from it, and if I recall well, a video clip of it. It reminded me the feeling of 2 Minutes To Midnight from the legendary Powerslave album.  Did Janick Gers finally properly replace Smith in the good old Dickinson/Smith writing duo? 3 minutes, 24 seconds  good old fast heavy (speed) metal.  8 out of 10 for this one.

From Here To Eternity broke my bubble of hope, in the vein of cheesy poppy “I am going to the concert to dance”. This song sounds like a weird AC/DC-like song. Not powerful enough to be called heavy metal… limit hard rock. Never understood why they made a single of it. One of the B-sides, Roll Over Vic Vella, is hilarious. I really felt Steve Harris was becoming a sell-out like Jame Hetfields.  3 out of 10. Sorry, guys.

While crying of disappointment , Afraid To Shoot A Stranger started and, Steve Harris showed me, he is still able to make good songs with emotion. I can’t really explain what touched me in my deepest. This is not really the text as I was not that fluent in English at the time, but I was able to feel some sadness. In the lyrics, I can now confirm how this soldier is torn during a war. The ambiance is good. The Janick Gers solo is medium and it sounds like whatever metal solo. When the 2 guitarist play together  the second part of the solo, there is nothing  to add other than the Dave Murray’s magic was beautiful. 9 out of 10 and only because of the solo. Next time Steve, when you have a masterpiece in the hand talk with Dave.

Fear Is The key sounded like Bruce Dickinson wanted to make a bad Powerslave helped by Janick Gers. Don’t get me wrong. I am not saying Gers is a bad musician, but you know he is maybe too much into generic-like metal sound. And keep in mind I’ve been a fan of Iron Maiden since the early 80’s, so Adrian Smith has been my hero, along with Dave Murray, for years. The riffs are hard rock and boring. The text is so-so and I guess I am used to good old epic. Again, the solo is generic until the 2 guitarists exchange. Not as bad as From Here to Eternity, but far from a masterpiece. 5 out 10 and this is today being way older.

Steve Harris again arrived to save the building with Childhood’s End, a song having an Iron Maiden sound of the Seventh Son era. I like the darkness and message in the song.  Janick improved on the solo. It sounded more Maiden-like. Being a father himself, Harris wrote a song about great plagues of our time, and from what I understand, he seems to put some emphasis on the place of children in it. At least this is how I got it. The only downside of the song is the last “Childhood’s End” at the end. I wonder why this song is/was ignored in concert. 9 out of 10 and this is because of the finale.

It seems everybody likes Wasting Love. It reminded me a little bit Revelations from Piece Of Mind. I do not know why.  This is not a bad song, but there is a little something that refuses to get me. The texts are not so great in my opinion, but it is a matter of taste. I have seen more powerful love songs. Musically, the pace is more like Revelations, but I have this feeling it misses something. There is not much to say about it. Another Dickinson/Gers composition; not the worst, but not the greatest. 6.5 out of 10.

The Fugitive is another Steve Harris piece. I am not impressed as it sounds like generic Iron Maiden. The baseline seems to be a déjà-vu. I feel the lyrics do not match the song. I would have chosen something more epic. But who am I to decide what they will do with their creation?  5 out of 10.

Chains Of Misery/The Apparition are bad. The choruses are bad hard rock. The songs themselves  sound like bad 80’s Hard Rock, good for MTV and other crap TV. With Chains Of Misery, how can a guitar genius like Dave Murray come with this? The texts, again, are not as deep as they could be. In The Apparition I just cannot get the words. Still trying to find another level for them. Chains Of Memory 3 out of 10 and The apparition 2 out of 10.

In Judas Be My Guide, Dave Murray came out with something much better than the previous. Other than the chorus, which lacks imagination, the main part and the solos are good. The texts are from Dickinson and he seems to like to refer to Christian symbolism. I would say the person is a strong believer.  Christianity is not something that inspires me in music and I think Heavy Metal overuses it. We can say Dave Murray saves the building with the music in general. I would give it a 5 out of 10.

I hate this part of the album, because from The Fugitive to Weekend Warrior, this is a sad moment of Maiden’s history. Weekend warrior sounds again like a bad AC/DC song and I hate AC/DC. What was wrong with Steve Harris? I mean why leave heavy metal to play bad hard rock? Is there something that happened in his personal life? The solo is too long. Dickinson sounds like a bad Brian Johnson. The music is like a bad version of the Young brothers duo. I can’t imagine how Nicko McBrain was feeling on the drum with no challenges at all. I would rename the song Weekend Rocker. 1 out of 10, as I think this is probably one of the worst songs ever from Iron Maiden. The 1 it is because this is Iron Maiden.

OMG Fear Of The Dark. How did this masterpiece end up on this album? I mean, just after one of their most depressing song they gave us one of their best. Steve Harris composed a very powerful text and has been able to describe how common people feel when they are scared of the dark. When I was younger, I was scared in the dark and I was always feeling someone was looking at me when walking alone at night. The song starts with a great ambiance. Slow, and quiet singing, as if Dickinson was scared himself. Then he became agitated like if he was in panic, due to the fear of the dark. The music is well-constructed, and pure Maiden sound. You must see it in concert or at least hear it from the live album, From the Fear Of The Dark Live (EP). The solos are well-constructed and played. This saved the album to not end at the last position of Iron Maiden’s album. 10 out of 10. Nothing less!

Overall this is a very medium album. Even today, I would still give it 5.5 out of 10 and only because of 4 of the songs on the album. The 1995 bonus disc that came with the album is not worth a lot of talk here. As a fan, it is good to hear what influenced the Maiden’s guy and how they like to mess with their crew in studio. This is basically the compilation of the B sides from the single released from Fear Of The Dark album. Cover song and some live.

Here is some link to get Iron Maiden information from my bookmarks:

The Wikipedia page is quite complete, and if you read other languages than English, do not hesitate to jump from one language to the other as information is unique to each language. The wiki album pages contain some nice information on the origin of the live track, too often misplaced on the official sleeves. Some fans even listened to the bootleg version of concert officially released to replace the song at their real recording place. Unfortunately, I am limited to English, French and other Romance languages, but I am sure some crispy details waiting for you in your respective languages.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Iron_Maiden

The best resource for cover arts and other Iron Maiden art. Some are made by fans and most of them are official. You can find mostly all singles/EP covers (some rare German and Japanese only issues are missing) and album covers. I have spent hours annoying Heidi with cover art saying: OMG look at that one! No matter where you come from, you will find Eddie has some local taste. I have found Eddie as a Mountie and as player for hockey Team Canada.

http://www.ironmaidenwallpaper.com/

A very good website for a Swiss guy. The website is all in French. The information is quite complete. This guy probably spent an incredible amount of hours digging for some details. I’ve been unable to find an English website with as much information like on the Spanish and French sites.

http://www.maiden.ch/

The Metal-Archive page is a good resource. They mainly catalogue the official Maiden stuff. No bootleg information, nor details like how they took the Maiden Japan live track of Remember Tomorrow and overdubbed it with Bruce Dickinson’s voice on the B-Side of The Number Of The Beast (EP) in 1982.

http://metal-archives.com/band.php?id=25

Review by Grïzlürk

Prologue: Why are you Afraid?

People are always asking me, “Why are you so afraid of the dark?” and I have no explanation. What am I supposed to tell them?

“There are monsters in the dark. That’s why.”

They’d think I was out of my mind. I’m fourteen years old. Fourteen year olds aren’t supposed to be scared of the dark. But if they saw what I see in every shadow, under every tree… then maybe they would understand. But for now, I tell them,

“I just am.”

Because I know they wouldn’t be able to handle it…

Lately, mom’s been turning off my light when I’m sleeping. They don’t notice me when I’m sleeping, but even when you’re asleep…you can get the feeling of being watched. Every night I have to run for the door, every night I can feel oily claws grabbing at my ankles, my arms, my legs, my clothes. Every night. When I turn on the light? Safety.

If only someone understood, you know? If only they realized:  Those monsters in the dark that you think aren’t there?  They can hurt you. They just don’t know that you’re there… yet.

It first started after my dad died. Like me, he was a severe nyctophobe, basically? He was terrified of the dark.  I heard that before he died, he completely lost it. None of the lights were bright enough to keep him safe from “them”.  It was only after dad died that I started to see “them”. They were indistinct at first. Shadows in the shadows. But slowly they started to take shape.  And I understood why good ‘ol dad was so afraid.

If you’ve ever played the game “Silent Hill” then you’ve got a vague idea of what they’re like. Twisted, faceless, twitching and jerking, covered in an oily film of black goo. When I’m watching from the safety of the light, they’re clumsy. Slow and shuffling.  When I dare to step into the shadows, they change instantly. Instead of shuffling blindly about, they’re fast. Leaping, tearing, grabbing at whatever they can; trying to drag me further into the darkness so that they can finish me off…

I can’t even count the number of scars I have from them. But the worst thing of all? No one believes me. Everyone thinks I’m just doing it for attention. That they aren’t real. That I’m hurting myself for some reason. Mom can’t even stand to look at me anymore. I wake up in the middle of the night and find that she’s turned the lights off again. She says to me,

“You have to face your fears, Lysander.”

I have a good reason to be afraid of the dark! There are things that can hurt me there! I don’t know what to do. I wish someone would listen. I wish someone could understand.

I’m not crazy. I know I’m not crazy.

]]> http://healthtraits.wordpress.com/2009/11/30/why-hypnosis-can-change-your-life-for-the-better/ Mon, 30 Nov 2009 09:54:03 +0000 rockosaurus http://healthtraits.wordpress.com/2009/11/30/why-hypnosis-can-change-your-life-for-the-better/

Why Hypnosis Can Change Your Life For The Better
Believe the hype or think for yourself
For too long hypnosis has had ‘difficult’ press. If a person doesn’t understand something they have 3 options open to them.
1) They might be sceptical and therefore save the trouble of looking further and possibly benefiting. 2) They may conclude it is dangerous and to be avoided at all costs. 3) They may spend time discovering the truth behind the hype.
If you don’t know much about a topic it’s easy to be suspicious. Some people assume hypnosis is akin to a carnival side show, others consider it mystic mumbo jumbo or ‘mind control.’ For those who look beyond the hype the truth is far more illuminating.
The most powerful tool you possess
There are potentially huge benefits for those who use hypnosis as part of everyday life. When you understand hypnosis you start to see its potential to improve human performance in the physical, emotional and intellectual realms. For me, rumour, gossip and suspicion weren’t good enough.
I determined to learn all I could about hypnosis – I learned every fact and practised every technique under the sun. I took several training courses – some good, some terrible. I invested thousands of hours of devoted study to hypnosis and discovered just what is possible. I hypnotised friends, neighbours and work colleagues. Hypnosis greatly changed things for me on a personal level
How hypnosis helped me
I used to be shy. Thanks to hypnosis I can now talk to thousands at a time and can approach anybody calmly and confidently.
I used to have poor concentration and procrastinate; thanks to hypnosis I can instantly motivate myself.
I used to find physical work outs and exercise exhausting but because of hypnosis I am now in the best shape of my life.
Incidentally I also stopped myself blushing with hypnosis. Now if ever I have a difficult call or conversation coming up, something I may naturally feel reluctant to do (you know the kind of thing) I spontaneously self hypnotise and rehearse the upcoming situation feeling good, with myself remaining calm. In this way I habitually set my own emotional ‘blue prints’ for up coming situations. Having said that it’s naturally that some people have concerns or half digested ‘hand me down’ ideas regarding hypnosis. A common one is the one about ‘mind control.’ However what does this really mean?
Why you are more in control of yourself in hypnosis
If someone expresses concerns about being ‘controlled’ in hypnosis what they mean is they don’t want to be like a robot, an automaton that is forced to obey the every whim of the hypnotist. We can’t help but influence others but we don’t control them. To understand why you need to understand hypnosis better.
So what is hypnosis like?
Hypnosis isn’t like a coma. It’s not unconsciousness – more a subtle shifting of consciousness. In hypnosis, you can still think logically but you also have access to the ’software’ of your mind so that you can update instinctive emotional and physical responses. In fact the hypnotised subject (not the hypnotist) calls the shots. When I hypnotise someone I need to go at their speed and respond to their needs and expectations. Hypnosis will give you more control in your own life because of what it enables you to do.
How can I be so sure?
Because over the decades I’ve seen all kinds of people, all ages and from all backgrounds turn their lives around thanks to hypnosis. When you use hypnosis for yourself it improves confidence in all kinds of ways. When you use it to change other’s lives it just blows you away. This is what I mean.
When I first hypnotised someone to feel no sensation in a painful arthritic arm it was an incredible feeling. When I first cured life long phobias quickly and comfortably I was astounded. When I stopped hardened alcoholics from drinking and even got a heroin addict off the stuff and back into mainstream life again I started to feel angry that people could just associate hypnosis with entertainment.
With the aid of hypnosis I (and many people I have trained and worked with) have helped severely depressed people feel strong and positive again. The rewards and satisfactions are hard to describe. I’m going to take a stand against ignorance and short sightedness around hypnosis and here’s why.
Why you need to reclaim hypnosis for yourself
Hypnosis is your birthright. It’s nature’s optimum learning tool. In fact to learn and perform anything well you need to experience a natural focussing of attention, a natural kind of hypnosis. To be successful hypnosis needs to be your companion and friend.
Successful people use it naturally all the time because hypnosis is natural. It’s the way we learn new responses. Unlike medications its side effects are purely positive – one expectant mother I worked with to feel relaxed during child birth later reported that she was also more relaxed when flying!
Hypnosis is easy to learn and every body can benefit. Hypnosis is a safe environment to ‘try out’ new behaviours and emotional patterns before you experience them for real. So the young man can ask a woman out for a date many times in calm relaxed hypnosis so that by the time he does it for real it feels real and natural and relaxed. Sports people who use hypnosis learn new quicker and more accurately. So hypnosis gives you more control of yourself and your life, it’s natural and gives you instant benefits and it’s a way of ‘trying on’ and establishing new patterns of emotional response and behaviour, Hypnosis enables you to develop yourself as a human being.
HypnosisDownloads.com offer a free course called ‘Learn Hypnosis in 5 Days’.
Article by Mark Tyrrell of Hypnosis Downloads.com.
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Parlano, parlano di libertà,
ma quando vedono la penna libera,
allora il panico li provoca.

[liberamente, da Easy Rider:
in claris fit interpretatio]

«Non mi sono mai sentita a Casa – Quaggiù» scrive Dickinson. «Riporta questo selvaggio a Casa» canta Dickinson. Emily e Bruce. E nello stesso sentire: sentirsi sempre fuori luogo. Perché fuori di testa, fuori dai denti, fuori dal coro e fuori dal metro. E ne parlavo con l’amico. L’amico della kerkoporta. Mi ricorda, ancora, la kerkoporta: «devi farti kerkoporta, basta farsi kerkoporta. Costantinopoli – si dice – cadde a causa della kerkoporta, una piccola porta secondaria».
Alla quattrocentocinquatatreesima volta che mi sprona a diventar kerkoportiforme gli comunico che, per contrappasso dantesco, sarà concluso in una belìn di kerkoporta per l’eternità… E nel delirare e demandare all’Alighieri i tormenti di chi ci/mi cianura/cianurò la vita in vita, nasce la Metalli Commedia. E l’amico della kerkoporta offre occhio e orecchio all’opera. E presta mano: per contenere le cascate chiare [ché lui computa accenti e corregge e contiene i *cazzi* che Dama usa/abusa come virgola], per assegnare assilli all’arco dell’alloro che – no! Non è peccato mortale  sostituire Virgilio con Alice Cooper! E se – sì: è peccato mortale, m’ho da confessare…
E l’amico della kerkoporta presta i polsi: per formulare fastidi e ferrare il forte sentire – altro. Oltre il BellPaese buonista che caramella carmina e canta cliché: zecca l’oro che copre tutte le carie e tutte le carenze. Carenza che buca la pagina la parola il plasma: nella marea massmediatica di bbbuoni/socialmente impegnati/altruisti/benefattori/attivisti d’ogni sorta – chi sono i cattivi? E se non sono i giovani sono i metallari e quando sono giovani&metallari – sono prede prelibate da patibolare. E se prima l’etichetta [dai gloriosi esponenti della gloriosa Italietta Ipocrita] era: *alfiere dell’anoressia*, ora è: *paladina dei metallari*. Vera è la violenza con cui difendo ogni mio dire/dare – e non ho nessuna intenzione di smettere. Perché e per chi – non è difficile comprendere: troppo comodo parlare/prosare/poetare nei corposculi di qualche/qualsivoglia corrente. Assuefatti e accecati e accomodati nell’Arcadia e nell’Ammmore – asserire che la parola è cruda e crudele, che l’essere umano [tanto perfettibile quanto fallibile] prova e provoca Rabbia – è [ancora] realtà che non si vuole accettare.

E allora? Non potendo assumersi la responsabilità di tutta la gamma emotiva, non sforzandosi più d’indagare quelle scomode zone d’ombra – che non è mai piacevole percorrere quelle pieghe, quelle delle passioni più pericolose – la maggioranza deve *trovare i colpevoli*. Gli aizzapopoli, i corpi violenti da violentare. Gli abiti da bruciare per purificarsi. Abiti e ambiti naturalmente adatti allo scopo: e allora – attacca i metallari che, AnimaliBruttiCattiviDannati, suonano/sondano anche gli stati più scuri/secreti dell’umanissimo sentire/sentirsi!

E allora: vi dico non basta! Non basta dirsi controcultura e poi bigottare buone azioni. E allora vi dico: affarinculo le denunce davanti e dietro lo schermo, mentre si coccolano scheletri armadi e maschere – quando nessuno vede [ma qualcuno vede/vedrà sempre: OGNI mondo è un mondo piccolo]. E allora vi dico: dedico tutto – al popolo borchiato che conosce la Rabbia e – quando distrugge – è per costruire: domani migliori.

E, in primis, ringrazio il di lui kerkoportante Guglielmo Amore. E si ringrazia – sempre – Fabrizio Centofanti e LPELS tutta per aver permesso la pubblicazione dei primi estratti [ché lapidazione da parte dei puristi si prepara. E no: non cercate la perfezione delle terzine. E sì: “Lo spirito creatore giuoca con gli oggetti che ama” avverte il buon Carl Gustav.  E no: nessuna numerologia già data, la cabala Chiara digita il dado di Dama, colorando Dante – e segue il grido del globulo: il metallo ha forgiato. Da sé. Questo sì: non esiste cambiamento quando canoni/controlli sono le sole *cure/curie*].
Omaggio senza tempo, nei tempi dispari: alla [mia] famiglia di Metallari. La [mia] casa di Marshall e doppiacassa!

«La società va compiaciuta, laddove è possibile; se non la si compiace, bisogna sbalordirla; se non la si può né compiacere né sbalordire bisogna provocarla e farla INORRIDIRE» [Jordan in: Jung, Psychologische Typen]

I

Nel mezzo del gran sol di Satriani
mi ritrovai per caso tra poeti
che non vi so dir le lagne immani

né lo girar di gonadi per vieti
ch’imposer alla di me mia scrittura
di ferro – in quel mollo di profeti

Ahi quanto maledir esta uggia pura
esta massa massiva d’arroganza
che sol nel rum ne vinsi la lordura

tanto pedanti lator di mattanza,
torma munta dallo monatta stanco
quale Infame Colonna ch’avanza…

Così rimembrando il Manzo mastro
in sua gran pompa or’è al mio fianco
ecce Lisandro! E il dice capestro:

«memento memento Renzo e l’Arno
memento mori, voi turpi metallati!
null’è casto nello custom indarno,

echi neoclassici avete infangati?
in settenari sarete puniti:
studenti a vita e disoccupati!»

Quand’ecco qual dardo divino scocca:
«Vade retro! bigotta co’pruriti
I’son l’Alice ch’elogia la potta!

Vade retro: fermo, vetusta bocca!
I’son l’Alice che scuole conclude
e’l pitone sul bavero – arrocca!»

«O dello metallo il primiciglio,
padre mio, mie ghigliottine sì crude
Tu’l solo tu’l veleno tu’l piglio

macabro tu mentr’ io mi maraviglio
Cooper nostro, sia tu il benvenuto
in mio incubo ché dolor sferraglio

l’atro censore m’impone bavaglio
m’impone sestine carche di pianto
m’impone sua sola – guisa di canto
secca per me codesto psicopompo!»

E al Manzo or preme suo meato,
sì piange per lo supplizio inflitto:
scuoio perpetuo, dal Simmons leccato

Manzo si spela, di strato in strato,
perde pelle sotto sferza di lingua
sua condanna: damnatio ad metalla

all’osso reso, mero cranio roso
miracola e membra e midolla
e torna assillo: daccapo abraso.

«Dove mi è?» il padre mio novella
«nei tre giri dell’Arte» – il canticchia:
«nell’inferno di chi strupò favella

sei, di giustizia, nella prima cerchia!
Diffida! Spetti sempre diffidare
dell’oro, credi al chiodo che borchia

la fine dello falso formulare!
Vendica con nota che luce brilla
tutto’l corrotto cinico fangare

nel nero ch’all’occhio goccia, pupilla
pinta pura, spada sarotti e scudo
nel tristo guadar stilla coccodrilla:

spartito – mira – nel fangoso feudo
più d’uno che ragliò, stonato musico,
come il piaga il suo guardian crudo»

[to be continued…]

So there I am, nose buried in my laptop, revelling in the sheer breadth and rich magnificence of the online universe – and the lights go out. Again. As they did four days ago, and every four days before that. At least PLN, Bali’s only electricity supplier, is consistent in its inconsistent delivery of power. How can my reliance on being connected survive this? OK, I’m borderline autistic and prefer computers or dogs to people – but I still need my network to give me at least a semblance of human communication. My laptop is battery powered, but the wi-fi transmitter isn’t – when the lights go away, so does my known universe. No mail, no web, no Twitter, no Facebook, no blogs, no Skype, no chat – what the hell does PLN expect me to do – actually go out and talk to people?

I understand the need for load shedding in emergencies, but come on! How long does it take to replace the fish-nibbled extension lead that brings Bali’s power from Java, or pry stray squirrels out of the Gilimanuk power station generators? If the problem is that the turbines are not getting enough gas, they could at least import some Australian politicians. Ten pollies’ worth of hot air should surely produce at least an extra 1000 megawatts. And anyway, why did everyone wait until the demand exceeded supply before actually starting to do something? Aarghh!

The restaurants, warungs and bars that don’t have backup power are bleeding. Romantic as candlight is, customers tend to evaporate when the darkness descends. Who wants to eat unfamiliar dishes when they can’t see what they’re eating? Who wants to drink warm beer? Who wants to risk eating food from warming fridges? Who wants to fossick in the dark for unfamiliar money when it’s time to pay the bill? And who wants to walk down unlit streets and risk disappearing forever into one of those black holes cunningly scattered along Bali footpaths? Not many, I suspect.

Tourists are remaining in their generator-equipped hotels, and yet another night of infinitesimal takings depresses an industry already reeling from ludicrous duties and taxes on alcohol and imported food. In the last month, I have listened to various visitors saying that they are seriously considering a different holiday destination next time – somewhere where a bottle of good wine doesn’t cost the same as Visa On Arrival fees for a family of four and where there is an electricity supply that works. One said it’s like having a Nyepi Day every 4 days. When they get home, these people talk to their friends, they blog, they Twitter – and they write travel articles. The word is spreading. Can Bali afford this?

But of course, all of this is nothing compared to the real problem created by PLN blackouts – pembantu nyctophobia. I have discovered that many locals here are afraid of the dark. However, where my pembantu is concerned, afraid is a manifestly inadequate word to describe what she experiences. If there was a word that combined terror, dread, horror, panic, alarm, dismay, consternation and trepidation, it would barely begin to describe the emotions that seize her when the lights go out. Her eyes widen like saucers, she freezes for a few seconds, then stabs desperately at the keys of her ever-present handphone for some backlit salvation. 

I really tried to help. I bought a stack of emergency lights for my place. These stay plugged in, quiescent and charging, until PLN hits the off switch, then automatically light up. Problem solved, I thought. Umm, no - the lights, perhaps because they are bluish LEDs, seem to offer little solace to her. “Sir, they not real light …” she says timidly. At some primal level, she knows they are powered by batteries – and batteries eventually go flat. When I insensitively ask her whether she is afraid of ogoh ogohs – the fabled monsters of Balinese lore – she laughs nervously and denies it, while her eyes fearfully scour the multiple dark crannies of the villa, expecting large, flesh-eating entities to leap gibbering and moaning towards her. Within three minutes of a blackout, she will surround herself with every emergency lamp she has been able to find, plus a few candles for backup. Then she sits holding (but not reading) a book while sending an incredible barrage of text messages to what appears to be most of Indonesia. Despite almost never catching sight of the girl during the day, I notice that during outages, she always manages to be in the same room as me.

So of course, when I say that I’m going out for dinner, the stricken look on her face means that I inevitably have an unexpected dinner companion. I didn’t think she thought much of my motorbike riding skills, but to see her jump onto the pillion seat with such alacrity could mean that I’m wrong. Then again, I suspect that her fear of the dark trumps her fear of my riding …

PLN, you are costing me a fortune. Not just in dinners, time and inconvenience either. My pembantu is getting married soon, and I was going to give her a modest, token wedding present. Now, because of you, I can see that nothing less than a 5kV diesel generator and a full lighting rig will do – and they are not cheap.

Be Quiet Or Be Dead
From Here To Eternity
Afraid To Shoot Strangers
Fear Is The Key
Childhood’s End
Wasting Love
Fugitive
Chains of Misery
Apparition
Judas Be My Guide
Weekend Warrior
Fear of The Dark

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Es gibt endlich mal wieder was neues von mir. 

Dima Koslowski

Fear of the Dark

Wadim lädt beide Bilder bei meinen Artworks hoch, sobald er Zeit hat (ich bau ja eh wieder nur Mist xD).

A fear of the dark is very debilitating and a constant nuisance. If you no longer want to sleep with the light on each night there is a way in which you can overcome your fears.

What is it about darkness which can set a person’s heart beating faster and trigger sensations of anxiety which have the ability to spread like a grey cloak of mist throughout your physiology? Stories about the “bogey man” come to mind and are instantly dismissed as being completely illogical; even so, the coiled sensation of fear remains. Your logical mind and your emotions agree to differ and each attempts to pursue its own course.

The emotional mind is the one which tends to win. It has an intensity which overrules logic like a steam roller flattening everything which lies in its path. Every time the logical mind raises an arm and makes a rational observation about there being no need to fear the darkness, fear and anxiety surfaces in greater volume of intensity, and uses its force to pull that arm of reason quickly back down once more.

There is one undeniable fact about darkness, which could shed some light on why so many people suffer from such fear. In the dark one cannot see like they can throughout the day or when a light is on. Being unable to see can induce a feeling that one’s control has slipped away; if you feel out of control this in itself gives rise to an awareness of vulnerability, or threat. When your brain perceives something which it construes as threatening, the instinctive fight or flight response is triggered – fear takes over.

Thus some people may be predisposed to a fear of the dark as a side effect of perhaps feeling a loss of control in another aspect of their lives. Others may have developed a fear of darkness due to a bad experience in the past. But no matter what has caused your fear of the dark, it is your brains perception of darkness as being threatening which triggers the fear anxiety response.

With hypnosis you can access the inner workings of your mind and alter the way in which you respond to these types of triggers. Hypnosis is fast becoming known as the very best way in which one can overcome a fear or cure a phobia. Hypnosis is easy to use and easy to learn with the help of a fear of the dark download.

Roseanna Leaton, specialist in hypnosis downloads to help overcome fears and phobias and to promote well-being.

http://www.RoseannaLeaton.com

of death, dying and the evil of all hallow’s eve… that probably just about says it all for you… The mix starts out innocuous enough and dissipates into some brutal listens that should really shake your spine and leave you quaking in your boots. Sadly, some band’s could be a complete catalog without much effort, making cutting it down to a track an artist interesting. Spook you if you don’t agree… feel free to add in the comments your faves for the list

“Black Sabbath” Black Sabbath from Black Sabbath
“Welcome To My Nightmare” Alice Cooper from Welcome to my Nightmare
“God Of Thunder” KISS
“Highway to Hell” AC/DC from Highway to Hell
“Halloween” The Misfits from ‘Halloween’ single
“Knife in your Guts” Gwar
“Dragula” Rob Zombie from Hellbilly Deluxe
“Nightmare Be Thy Name” Mercyful Fate
“Halloween” Helloween from Keeper of the Seven Keys, Pt. One
“Dungeons are Calling” Savatage
“Devils Child” by Judas Priest from Screaming for Vengance
“Halloween” King Diamond from Fatal Portrait
“Pure Evil” Iced Earth from Days of Purgatory
“The Haunting” Testament from the Legacy
“Am I Evil?” Metallica from Garage Days
“Belly of the Beast” Anthrax from the Persistence of Time
“Dead Skin Mask” Slayer from Seasons in the Abyss
“Scream Bloody Gore” Death from Scream Bloody Gore
“Death Certificate” Carcass from Heartwork
“Slaughter of the Soul” At the Gates from Slaughter the Soul
“Diva Satinaca” Arch Enemy from Dead Eyes See No Future
“a Devil in God’s Country” Lamb of God from as the Palaces Burn
“Bloodletting” the Haunted from One Kill Wonder
“the Devil has Risen” Unearth from III: in the Eyes of Fire
“No Sympathy (for the Devil)” Skinlab from Disembody: The New Flesh
“Like this with the Devil” by Entombed from To Ride, Shoot Straight and Speak the Truth
“Blessed Black Wings” High on Fire from Blessed Black Wings
“Her Ghost in the Fog” Cradle of Filth
“Progenies of the Great Apocalypse” Dimmu Borgir from Death Cult Armageddon
“Demon of the Fall” Opeth from My Arms, Your Herse
“My Hope, the Destroyer” My Dying Bride from the Dreadful Hours
“You were but a Ghost in my Arms” Agalloch from the Mantle
“Fear of the Dark” Iron Maiden from Fear of the Dark
“Black Number One (the Little Miss Scare All)” Type O Negative from Bloody Kisses

and, although Diecide is WAY out of my listening, I’ll include the reference to them, if for no other reason than frontman Glen Benton might be a direct descendant of satan.

Did I miss anyone?

01. Be Quick Or Be Dead
02. From Here To Eternity
03. Afraid To Shoot Strangers
04. Fear Is The Key
05. Childhood’s End
06. Wasting Love
07. The Fugitive
08. Chains Of Misery
09. The Apparition
10. Judas Be My Guide
11. Weekend Warrior
12. Fear Of The Dark

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Μετανοείτε!

October. Comes around a bit sharpish doesn’t it?

The first of October for me is always a ritual. There is always one track to be played. October for me is the month of positive change. It’s just my thing.

This track represents everything about change, progressing, and battling through. Severe poignancy.

I raise my glass of branded cola to my dear friend Anselmo, my compardre for nearly 20 years;

On this cold October morning, as frost lay on the ground..

My new book Hearthstories is released! Labor has been long but the birth exciting. Bringing a child, a creation, a longing into the world reminds us of the infinite possibilities of life. The writing of the book took nine years. I have been radically changed by the process and reminded every step of the labyrinthine journey to face into fears. The subtitle “A Modern Woman’s Quest for the Essential Self” reminds us that our lives are quests. I hope you are inspired to see the gift of your own life journeys; Our stories come out of the mystery which seeds our lives.

Hearthstories is spiritual memoir written seasonally and invites a conversation. I walked a path to deepen my life, my focus carried a longing to meet the divine feminine and reconnect my life to the cycles of nature. Many villages of women have mentored me. The process carried me to the island of Iona, to Ireland and Chartres Cathedral. Each step on the spiral invited me to a process. I also sought answers inside myself in the truth of meeting my intution, in listening to my body and in recovering the lost invocations of the sacred all around us.

Creativity gives us the opportunity to drop deeper into the darkness where we meet with the gold of our lives. The darkness is a place of incubation, but we are often afraid to go there. Winter is such a time when the light withdraws and we go indoors.

The following excerpt from Hearthstories is about the walk in the dark, about risking the journey and recovering the gifts of transformation. A wise writer named Emily Hanlon suggests that creativity challenges us to risk the fear and engage the dark where the unmanifested lies, if we don’t risk the journey we loss the chance to create.

What follows is writing from Year II, Winter II. Since winter is the dark time of the year I invite you into a journey into the darkness.

“ As the days grew shorter, I felt the darkness covering me like a blanket. My body felt the womb quality of the darkness, and I reminded myself that the dark held potential. I revisited my fears of depression in winter. I began turning on the lights of the Christmas tree around dusk.

While the dark descended one evening in December, I sat with the sparkle of the tree lights. My lamps were off, and I sat enjoying the magic of the lights and the dark. I picked up my journal and decided to head to bed. I walked to my bedroom in the dark; it was fun to feel my way along the hallway. As I settled into my bed, I recalled walking in the dark as a young mother.

It was the winter of 1973, and my son Matt was two months old. I stayed at home to care for our baby while Stephen ran the business we owned in Sonoma. Our shop closed at five; he returned home shortly thereafter. I’d prepare dinners, but we had agreed that I would have an hour to take a daily run. Our home was nestled in the quiet Lovall Valley, where the road curved in a large loop, a perfect place to walk. As the winter days grew short, and the sun dipped behind the hills, I considered giving up my evening outing. I loved running, but I had never run in the dark. The experience would be a new adventure.

The first few nights I found myself running in darkness, I felt afraid, so I carried a flashlight. Mostly I feared tripping and falling. While I knew the road well, I still had to breathe deeply and challenge myself. At first I walked and then ran slowly. Soon I learned to feel for the uphill grades, the bumps in the pavement. I gained confidence.

I began listening for the sounds of the night, including the goats, sheep, and turkeys who shared the valley with us. I especially loved the goats. I could hear the rustle of their movements as they made their way through the grasses. After running the first part of the loop, I’d start around the curve to the next half. I’d smell the eucalyptus tree where the road climbed slightly uphill. In time, I learned to smell my place on the road. It became a fascinating exercise, and eventually I gave up my flashlight. My progress felt exhilarating.

Once I became accustomed to the feeling of the dark, I sometimes lost all sense of my body except for my legs and the sound of my shoes on the pavement. Learning to run in the dark was an experience of trust and surrender.

As I looked back on those dark-time walks from the comfort of my bed, I realized they had given me a way to confront my fears of the mystery, the unknown. I felt re-inspired to walk in the dark.

And so I began—but not without reservations! I knew it was less safe to walk alone in the dark than it had been in 1973. The world had changed. I needed to factor in the reality, or at least the potential, of violence. It felt significant, though, that as a young woman I’d run the end of Lovall Valley Road. Now, years later, I walked the road at its beginning, in town. I wouldn’t let my fears stop me.

I stepped outside with my flashlight and headed up the road. Once I rounded the corner to Lovall Valley I walked on the soft earth of the vineyard land. A car approached, its lights shining in my eyes. The same headlights illuminated two young bucks on the left side of the road ahead. They waited to cross the road. When the car passed, I could hear them dance across the asphalt. The young deer seemed to invite surprise and mystery. I walked on, remembering the small rack of horns I’d found in Bartholomew Park last January. Each year the buck sheds his antlers, then regenerates them. I had considered the rack a gift at the time.

On my return home, I searched for the image of an antlered figure I had seen in Celtic mythology books. Cernunnos was a god of fertility and regeneration. His figure appeared on the silver cauldron called the Gunstrap Cauldron. I found him mentioned in Rekindling the Celtic Spirit, where Mara Freeman wrote, “He embodies the wisdom of deep communion with the wildness of the world.”

• Artista: Iron Maiden
• Brano: Wasting Love
• Album: Fear of the Dark
• Genere: Heavy Metal
• Anno: 1992
• Info sugli Iron Maiden: http://it.wikipedia.org/wiki/Iron_Maiden

Iron Maiden – Wasting Love

Maybe one day I’ll be an honest man
Up till now I’m doing the best I can
Long roads, long days, of sunrise, to sunset
Sunrise to sunset

Dream on brother, while you can
Dream on sister, I hope you find the one
All of our lives, covered up quickly
by the tides of time

Spend your days full of emptiness
Spend your years full of loneliness
Wasting love, in a desperate caress
Rolling shadows of nights

Dream on brother, while you can
Dream on sister, I hope you find the one
All of our lives, covered up quickly
by the tides of time

Sands are flowing and the lines
are in your hand
In your eyes I see the hunger, and the
desperate cry that tears the night

Forse l’unica vera e propria ballad fatta dagli Iron Maiden, gruppo capostipite dell’heavy metal (pionieri della New Wave of British Heavy Metal degli anni ‘70/’80)… Canzone semplicemente fantastica, con la voce sopra le righe di Bruce Dickinson a farne da padrona. Ritmo lento, un pò triste; testo (come tutti i testi degli Iron Maiden) denso di significato, che divaga un pò dai classici versi che caratterizzano lo stile dei Maiden. Canzone che mi mette i brividi… Godetevi il video di quello che io amo definire MUSICA!

…in your eyes i see the hunger, and the desperate cry that tears the night…

I awoke a little while ago from one of those dreams.   You know, the kind where you’re you’re not sure it is a dream, and once you finally awake still dazed wonder if maybe some elements to it are not real.  This entry isn’t about the dream, though.  I don’t blog about dreams on here. I have a whole separate blog I don’t update anymore for that!  This entry is about the truth behind the dream.

For the first time in my life I realized something: I am afraid of open doors.

Or more accurately (but less powerfully), I am unsettled by the darkness behind an open door at night, if trying to sleep. I’ve known for years, on some level, that I prefer to sleep with a closed door…  I’ve just never thought about it, or tried to understand it.

There’s something just…  unsettling.  I know there’s nothing there…  Well, no I don’t “know” that, but I imagine there isn’t.  It’s not about that, though…  It’s the perceptions one gets when one stares into blackness.   It’s almost like the eyes are trying to see something there, and threaten to invent form where there is none, for the sake of form itself.  It’s not the darkness, though…  I’m not afraid of the dark.   I’m afraid of what’s in the darkness… in the next room… on the other side of that dreadfully unprotective open door.

I was saying, “I can’t see it…  I can’t see it…”, laying in bed and looking into that void behind the open door.  Something started to take shape then… Something bright… something yellow…  Something just a bit too ethereal to grasp.  What could be grasped, though, was a feeling of fear, and denial, and a desire to be safe behind the closed door. And then…  I awoke, and looked in the same direction I was looking in my dream.  The door was closed. But the usual subtle sense of security I feel when seeing that closed door was gone, shattered by an unsettling reality. That feeling’s been replaced by an awareness…  Maybe an unwelcomed one.  That closed door now represents something else to me. It’s a mystery, it’s a puzzle…  It’s a disturbance. Being unsettled by an open door, and waking up with the words “I can’t see it”, are more disturbing to me, than the previous uneasiness ever could have been.

As I laid in bed, I recognized “I can’t see it” as a denyer, and realized that my entire life (as much as I remember), I have always slept with a closed door, and have never been comfortable leaving it open, even if (or perhaps especially if) nobody else was in the house.  For years, whenever I would be laying in bed and attempting to sleep with the door open, I’d find myself nervously glaring into that darkness.  “There’s nothing there”, I’d assure myself, recognizing that feeling of anxiety.  I’d find it an annoyance.  “There’s nothing there”, I’d repeat, but just not feel entirely safe closing my eyes, at the same time.  Within a few minutes, I’d drag myself out of bed and close that door, feeling annoyed at myself, or better, suddenly realize there was an urgent need for me to leave the room for one reason or another  When I’d get back a minute later, I’d remember to close the door on my way in.

The thing is, I’ve just dealt with that.  I’ve dealt with it, because that’s the rational thing to do, and the sane thing to do is just not to even acknowledge it while you’re dealing with it.  I knew, after all, that there really was “nothing there”. Why don’t I “know” that now?  Why do I feel so certain that there is something behind that door?

Amanda made an observation to me, several weeks ago.  I had taken to reacting panicked when awoken unexpectedly. It wasn’t always anything too dramatic.  I think most people would understand being a bit startled if jolted into a fuller consciousness from sleep.  But… Well, a few times it was more than just being a bit started…  She realized it was the sound of the door creaking open that would really get a reaction out of me.  Talking was fine…  As fine as being woken up could be (I’d be a little annoyed, but not startled), the TV being too loud, the misc. banging around pots and pans… That wasn’t a problem. The only thing that seemed to really put me into a panic for a second or two, was the sound of the door opening.

I really hadn’t given it much thought.  Sure, I thought it was odd…  But I also didn’t think much of it, at the same time.  Now, I find myself wondering about the thing behind the door…  The thing that creeps in on you, while your asleep, the creaking door, the movement in the blackness… Really, there’s nothing there.

What Was I Scared Of? A Glow-in-the-Dark Encounter by Dr. Seuss (Ages 3-6)

From the original collection of stories in The Sneeches, What Was I Scared Of? now comes in its own stand-alone format. The main character (one of Seuss’s whimsical creations) meets up time and again with a pair of empty green pants. No matter what he does or where he goes, the pants are there: bicycling past in the town square; rowing along in a river; inside a Snide-field. What are those pants there for? What are those pants just standing in the air for?

Young readers–and the young at heart!–will enjoy this clever classic that teaches that sometimes scary things are more afraid of you than you are of them. Now in a new glow-in-the-dark format, readers can rediscover this wonderful Seuss tale!

What Was I Scared Of? A Glow-in-the-Dark Encounter; Dr. Seuss; $11.99; originally pub. 1961; new edition pub. Aug. 2009; Random House Books