Ex-Formula 1 drivers Damon Hill, David Coulthard, Mark Blundell, Derek Warwick and Perry McCarthy were amongst the sporting and TV stars who took part in charity event ‘The Circuit’ at Bedford Autodrome in support of the NSPCC’s Child’s Voice Appeal.

Motorsport fans paid to spend a thrilling day with celebrities – including boxer Amir Khan, Dragons’ Den entrepreneur Deborah Meaden, chef James Martin, English Rugby Union player Austin Healey and Fifth Gear and former Top Gear television presenter Vicki Butler-Henderson – and professional drivers at PalmerSport.

There, six high-performance racing cars were put through their paces, from a Formula Jaguar single-seater capable of accelerating from zero to 60mph in a blink over three seconds to a 177mph Porsche 911 JP3, supercharged Jaguar XKR and 3.0-litre, V6 Palmer Jaguar JP1 sports prototype racer.

In-between conversations about whether Jenson Button can win the 2009 Formula 1 World Championship and singing ‘Happy Birthday’ to Damon Hill – now just a year away from the big five-O – guests enjoyed a lunchtime auction hosted by Perry McCarthy, Top Gear’s original black Stig.

Lots included three super-rides in a Palmer Jaguar JP1 and BMW M3 with David Coulthard, Damon Hill and HiQ MSA British Touring Car Championship (BTCC) front-runner and 2001 champion Jason Plato, a visit to Pink Floyd drummer Nick Mason’s legendary car collection which went to James Martin, and a Jenson Button-signed Honda plate from last year’s RA108 contender which went the way of Deborah Meaden.

“I co-organised it with Nick Mason,” explained Blundell, speaking to Crash.net. “We put the event on with the help of the NSPCC to support their Child’s Voice Appeal and just to get more awareness, because they do a fantastic job. We had a great turn-out – a lot of friends turned up from the motorsport world, and some other people too from different walks of life – and they all gave their time up and lots of other people donated serious money, so it was a great day all-in-all.

“We had various things [in the auction] – helicopter trips, Rolls Royce trips, Jenson Button-signed rear wing endplates, which are going up in value as we speak obviously – so there were lots of things to be purchased, and lots of money raised with every lap we turned. There are over two million calls that go unattended during the course of the year, so the more money we raise, the more call centres can be operational and take the call which could make a difference to a child’s life.”

“Guests really pushed the cars to the limits,” the former Brabham, Tyrrell, Ligier and McLaren ace went on, “and there seemed to be a few friendly rivalries out there on the track. Damon Hill and David Coulthard couldn’t help themselves from slugging it out!”

“Some very, very generous people paid to have an experience of a lifetime and come and drive cars, have some fun and raise money for the Child’s Voice Appeal for the NSPCC,” added 1996 F1 World Champion and 22-time grand prix-winner Hill. “I think it was very successful; everyone had a great time, we raised a lot of money in the auction and raised awareness of course for a good cause.

“I went out on the track, and David Coulthard bid a stupendous amount of money to have himself be driven round the circuit by me. God knows why he’d want to do that! It was in a good cause, though, and well done to him because I managed to go off the track and scare the hell out of both of us!”

At the end of the day, the fastest overall driver was Healey, fastest team captain was Warwick and the ‘Best Team’ was led by Coulthard and Healey.

“What’s great about it is we were there to raise money for Child’s Voice, but also to have fun,” remarked Warwick, “and we had great fun! It was very competitive too, and I really enjoyed it. This kind of thing is important, because we all want to give our little bit back to life, to charities, to children – and it’s our way of giving something back when we’ve really had a great life ourselves. It’s just our little bit of return, basically.”

“There certainly seemed to be some action-packed racing!” concluded NSPCC fundraising manager Sophie Moss. “It’s brilliant to see a pro like Derek Warwick show guests how to set some really top lap times! It’s a tragedy when a vulnerable child summons up the courage to phone ChildLine but can’t get through to speak to someone. The Child’s Voice Appeal aims to raise over £50 million to develop the NSPCC helplines to answer every call, text and e-mail from a child who needs our help, or an adult with a concern about a child.”

To-date the Child’s Voice Appeal has raised £18.1 million. The extra funds will mean that ChildLine volunteers can counsel 500,000 more calls every year. For further information, visit www.childsvoiceappeal.org.uk

Reference: crash.net

If you read what I’d written the other day about my automotive history, you might expect that I’d be a fan of Britain’s highest-profile motoring programme, Top Gear. Well, in fact, I can’t bear to watch it. The primary reason is the overpowering odour of smug that pervades the entire enterprise. Every moment of the show, you can just tell that the presenters are thinking “We’re so cool.” When, in reality, they are three of the least cool people on television. It’s incongruous, but not incongruous enough to be entertainingly surreal.

I’ve been recovering from the pig flu over the past few days and not feeling fit for anything other than couch surfing, so I have watched an unhealthy amount of daytime television. There’s a lot of Top Gear on (seems like four or five episodes a day) and on a couple of occasions, I’ve been clicking through the channels and from the hairstyles and clothes thought “Oh, it’s an old Top Gear. Must be from, oh, I guess, the mid-eighties?” But, no, they’re only showing relatively recent ones.

And everything they do is so futile and stupid. “I’m going to see if I can drive this Aston Martin from Leeds to Edinburgh in less time than it takes The Stig to build a flat-pack wardrobe!” (I made that one up, but if it was real it would be among the less unreasonable ones.) Oh yes, and you have to get the intonation right. Or rather, totally wrong. The only way to get that sentence to sound really like Jeremy Clarkson is to speak it while randomly raising and lowering the pitch of your voice.

When the original Top Gear was cancelled in 2001, several of the redundant presenters went to Channel 5, where they were the core crew of a new motoring programme, cheekily titled Fifth Gear, which was essentially the same old Top Gear format. No celebrity chats, no pointless competitions, better wardrobe. With that programme having some success, the BBC decided to relaunch Top Gear, but  changed the traditional format, to bring in some of the more progressive elements of modern television, such as chat shows and “I’m someone you may have vaguely heard of, get me out of here”.

I’m not a huge fan of Fifth Gear, but I can get along with it OK. They test-drive cars, they race them, they investigate issues like safety and economy. But, you know, really I’d rather be doing it than hearing about it. Like life.

Z nieoficjalnych informacji wynika, że w najbliższym czasie zakończy swój żywot brytyjski program motoryzacyjny Fifth Gear. Jeśli ta informacja okaże się prawdziwa, to będziemy bardzo zrozpaczeni z tego powodu. A to dlatego, że to najlepszy po Top Gear program motoryzacyjny w Europie. Panowie z Fifth Gear zajmowali się nie tylko egzotykami, ale także, albo raczej samochodami dla ludzi bardziej przyziemnych, natomiast w Top Gear’a prezenterzy większość swojego programu poświęcają naprawdę drogim i szybkim autom. Dlatego program prowadzony przez dobrego znajomego Clarksona Tiffa Needella, jest dobrą przeciwwagę dla Top Gear.

Came across this pretty cool digital rendering. Reminds me of the old school Drew Struzan movie posters for Star Wars and Indiana Jones, except for Top Gear’s race across Japan. Anyway, the world’s number one show should be making a return next month with all new episodes in HD! It’s about time the BBC started broadcasting the show in high-definition. The guys are also taking their popular Top Gear Live show on tour again which I can’t seem to understand. I think last series severely lacked it’s usual excitement because of all the money and time they spent doing Top Gear Live. Since it doesn’t come to America, I say screw the tour and bring the show back to it’s usual standards. On the other side of the spectrum, Top Gear’s rival, Fifth Gear has been canceled. There’s no word on why, but I can guess it had to do with the show’s slowing popularity and the obvious similarities to it’s counterpart.

Rumour has it that Fifth Gear has been cancelled. Forever. This news first appeared on the Daily Mail. They are known to be unreliable though, so this may not be true. Also, Fifth Gear presenter Jonny Smith has stated on his Twitter account that “nothing is official”. I interpret that as “It might be cancelled”. I personally prefer Top Gear, but Fifth Gear is a nice companion, Top Gear does the entertainment and Fifth Gear does the more serious stuff. I’ll be keeping an eye on the situation and make sure that any news on this makes it here.

Source: Daily Mail and Final Gear

There are some cars that we were born to drive.  If I could choose two, they would be the e30 m3 and the Lancia Delta HF Integrale.  One mention of any of these two cars, and any gearhead needs to hear no more.   If a box were the inspiration for the design of the two, they took it to a level that will be cherished forever.

As I am a hardcore fan of this design era, nothing gets me more worked up than looking at these two cars and wishing that one day I could own one.  Thank you Gyro for showing me the light.  Without further ado…

um yeah, she was 18 ‘when she was doing work experience on a car magazine’ and drove this bad boy, WTF was I doing?

- Miss Ra

…and a little tribute to Queen baby

A bit boy racerish for us (as Subies are wont to be), but its appeal cannot be denied.

Obviously, it is (or rather was) officially unavailable in the US (or anywhere else outside of Japan, for that matter), although many an owner tried to make his/her replica via Impreza WRX STi running gear.

CD road test

Speedhunters feature

Photo credit: Greg Lakin (gernsteine)

- Gyro

Speaking of old school and stripped-down, here’s another Bulgogi Brothers favorite. The modern V and VI notwithstanding, the II was probably the high water mark in the little GTI’s storied history. Here is our love song. Gratuitous? Mais non. Enjoy.

Needell & co. sing the MkII’s praises. Jonny Smith continues to be a dreadful presenter, but seeing a mint, forest green MkII being tossed around the corners of a tight and twisty handling circuit make these clips worth watching (just turn off the sound whenever Smith opens his mouth).

Fascinating video “buying guide” we found online (complete with unexpected appearance toward the end by a certain well known English television personality):

- Gyro

Tom Ford (Fifth Gear presenter moonlighting as Top Gear Magazine writer) on the BMW Z4 M Coupe versus the Porsche Cayman S:

The BMW is a meaty, fulsome, excitable, easy-to-like lager drinker with the kind of wheel that feels as though you need to strangle it to get any kind of control. The Porsche is the elegant, slightly aloof, precise, taster of wine with a wheel that is best sampled by fingertips and possibly a little finger cocked nonchalantly off to one side.

The BM’s engine is a shouty, metallic screamer that booms constantly inside the cabin, like a good row with an increasingly falsetto Brian Blessed.

The Porsche thrums its way through the cabin with a more urbane howl that somehow resembles what would happen if you started swinging a rounders bat around in the audition hall for Operatunity. If either of these metaphors has you worried, don’t be. Both are cool.

Full article from 2006 here. I have not been in a Cayman before, but I have had the pleasure of being a ’straphanger’ in a Z4 M for many a hot lap around Watkins Glen, and I can confirm that the ‘Zed’ (with its E46 M3-derived S54 engine) is indeed enormously entertaining.

- Gyro

Me he pasado las últimas tres semanas en Inglaterra. He estado en un lugar archiconocido gracias a su universidad. Hablo de Oxford. Se trata de una pequeña ciudad con mucho encanto y llena de vida, tanto de día como de noche. Por el día, la abarrotada Cornmarket St. o el Christ Church hacen las delicias de los turistas. Por las noches, multitud de pubs, como el Red Lion –sería mejor llamarlo ‘León Rojo’, porque está lleno de españoles-, y discotecas, como The Bridge, Anuba o Escape, se encargan de entretener a los más fiesteros –y a los amantes del reggaeton-. También he tenido la oportunidad de conocer otros lugares, como Londres, Cambridge, Stonehenge, Bath o Silverstone. Creo que este párrafo nos sirve perfectamente a modo de introducción, pero en la sección de motor tenemos que hablar de coches.

¿Cómo definir Inglaterra para los amantes del motor? Yo utilizaría la palabra paraíso. Jamás había visitado un lugar en el que Bentley, Ferrari, Aston Martin o Lotus sean un coche más de las carreteras. Si viajas a Londres, esta experiencia se eleva a la enésima potencia. Gran Bretaña es una tierra con gran afición por el mundo del motor. Esto se puede comprobar en la televisión. Hay un par de programas, llamados Top Gear y Fifth Gear, que dan fe de la tremenda cultura del motor que se respira por allí. Son programas de gran calidad, en los que prueban gran variedad de vehículos, y en los que acercan el complejo mundo del motor a todos los públicos. Gracias al canal Discovery Channel, disponible en plataformas de pago, ahora podemos disfrutar de de estos programas con los que un aficionado a este mundillo se forma y se entretiene.

He estado viviendo en Old Marston, un pueblecito que está pegado a Oxford. Según me comentaron, es un barrio bien, y por nuestras calles podíamos disfrutar de la presencia de grandes vehículos. Por allí es normal ver a una señora que vuelve de hacer la compra en su Ferrari F360 Spyder, una mujer que pasea a su hijo en un Bentley Continental GTC o un cincuentón que se va a tomar algo en su Masseratti Granturismo. Y esto a diario. Creo que en 3 semanas he visto más vehículos de lujo que en toda mi vida. Lástima que no haya podido capturar en fotografía nada más que a una pequeña parte.

Y ahora viene el turno de las fotografías. Se suele decir que una imagen vale más que mil palabras, así que me aplicaré el cuento y os mostraré unas instantáneas. Muchas no son de calidad, pero tenéis que comprender que algunas han sido tomadas desde un autobús en marcha y abarrotado de gente, con lo que la labor del fotógrafo se hace casi imposible.

Nissan Skyline R34. Fuente: Carlos Ruiz Martínez

Bentley Continental GT Cabrio. Fuente: Carlos Ruiz Martínez

Bentley Continental GT Cabrio. Fuente: Carlos Ruiz Martínez

Concesionario Lotus en Londres. Fuente: Carlos Ruiz Martínez

Aparcamiento de un hotel en Londres. Fuente: Carlos Ruiz Martínez

London Taxi Myfair y Double-Decker Bus. Fuente: Carlos Ruiz Martínez

Limo Lincoln Rosa. Fuente: Carlos Ruiz Martínez

Morgan y London Taxi. Fuente: Carlos Ruiz Martínez

Morgan. Fuente: Carlos Ruiz Martínez

Rolls-Royce Phantom. Fuente: Carlos Ruiz Martínez

Chrysler 300 Limo. Fuente: Carlos Ruiz Martínez

Hummer Limo. Fuente: Carlos Ruiz Martínez

Taxi Tabla Periódica en Oxford. Fuente: Carlos Ruiz Martínez

Bus Tabla Periódica en Oxford. Fuente: Carlos Ruiz Martínez

Space Invaders. Fuente: Carlos Ruiz Martínez

Datsun Figaro. Fuente: Carlos Ruiz Martínez

Lotus en Bath. Fuente: Carlos Ruiz Martínez

Renault Clio Sport en Silverstone. Fuente: Carlos Ruiz Martínez

Aston Martin en Silverstone. Fuente: Carlos Ruiz Martínez

Ferrari 360 en Silverstone. Fuente: Carlos Ruiz Martínez

Yo con dos 360 en Silverstone. Fuente: Carlos Ruiz Martínez

Aston Martin clásico en Silverstone. Fuente: Carlos Ruiz Martínez

Aston Martin Clásico en Silverstone. Fuente: Carlos Ruiz Martínez

Yo con el Lotus Evora. Fuente: Carlos Ruiz Martínez

Volante Lotus Evora. Fuente: Carlos Ruiz Martínez

Yo en el Lotus Evora. Fuente: Carlos Ruiz Martínez

Yo en el Lotus Exige. Fuente: Carlos Ruiz Martínez

Lotus Elise en Silverstone. Fuente: Carlos Ruiz Martínez

Lamborghini Murciélago en Silverstone. Fuente: Carlos Ruiz Martínez

Aston Martin y R8 en Gatwick. Fuente: Carlos Ruiz Martínez

Today is rather a great day. I finally finished my download for the complete series of Top Gear, besides season 13 which is now being shown. Either way, I’ll be getting that as soon as its released.

On another note, I don’t know where all my money goes??? Anyone with some money saving tips? I try not carrying cash on me, seems that could be the issue as I use my debit/credit..

Jak wiadomo przyczyną wypadków jest: brawura, niedostosowanie prędkości do warunków panujących na drodze lub brak doświadczenia kierowcy. W tym przypadku chodzi właściwie o każdy z tych czynników i nie jest to bynajmniej wypadek młodego kierowcy za sterami swojego wytunningowanego bolidu. Mamy do czynienia z wypadkiem w poważanym programie motoryzacyjnym Fifth Gear. Jeden z gości tego motoryzacyjnego show – John Barrowman miał okazję przejechać się N-grupową Subaru Imprezą wartą około 120 tysięcy funtów. Z jakim skutkiem? Zobaczcie sami.

I’m going to do something a little different today. I am not going to talk about a car specifically but rather I’ll be spotlighting a car brand. The car brand that I’d like to shine the light for this post is a very unique and creative company. That would be the independent British automaker; TVR. These guys aren’t as known as Lambo or Ferrari per-say but they do have some very nice looking cars, albeit not for everyone but I have been a fan for quite sometime. Now TVR aren’t exactly known for running circles around cars like the Murcielago LP640 or the Nissan GTR but they are much more known in my opinion by their spectacular design. These cars have such magnificent looking bodies that would turn anyone’s eye.

Right now TVR mainly holds a vehicle model line up of two. You’ve got the TVR Tuscon and Tuscon S and the Sagaris. They come in a coupe form and convertible. Both are just eye catching, personally I would go with the less conservative Sagaris. Usually not the direction I take but if you’re going to buy a TVR, you may as well go all out in the extravagance department.

The Sagaris hoists a straight six engine producing a modest 380hp at as high as 7500rpm and 349lb-ft of torque. The Sagaris does make the 60mph mark in an impressive 3.7 seconds.
The Tuscon S has a 6 cylinder alloy constructed engine capable of the same 380hp and a lesser 310lb-ft of torque. When it comes to passing that 60mph line, the Tuscon S can pull that off in 3.8 seconds.

When it comes to the bodies of these two machines; I don’t know, do I really even need to say anything? Both jaw dropping exteriors. Again if I had to go with one, it would be the Sagaris because of its more aggressive look and its slightly more powerful performance capabilities.

My Thoughts: The minute I first witnessed a TVR years ago, I knew that this company had something special. It ranks up there with supercars but offers a design and look that just cannot be found anywhere in the high end circuit. Granted, the looks of these cars may not be for everyone but either way, if you walk down the street and a TVR Sagaris or Tuscon S drives down the road, you’re eyes will be following it with a look of surprise and wonderment on your face!

I found the perfect clip for this post! It’s the TVR Tuscon vs the TVR Sagaris in a head to head race on one my favorite car shows; Fifth Gear! Enjoy!

Top Gear & Fifth Gear are two great motoring shows from Britain.  Every car enthusiast should be watching one of the two or both.  Each has their brand loyalists but many are like me and waver somewhere in between.  With the lack of any American shows tackling automotive content in the same way I routinely watch both.  I confess I much prefer Top to Fifth.  An in-depth breakdown will explain why.  Let’s talk about both shows based on their history, hosts, production value, and segments.

History

While Top has a longer lineage then Fifth, Fifth first aired in 2002 as a replacement to Top which was cancelled in 2001 due to low ratings.  While Fifth has pushed on since then, Top’s return in 2002 has built so much momentum since it’s return it is now estimated to have a viewership of 350 million worldwide.  Top is a BAFTA, multi-NTA and International Emmy Award-winning show while Fifth lacks any major accolades.  While there are no American versions of either show Top has branched out and now has both Australian and Russian series in full swing.  Give Top Gear the point here.

Hosts

Tom Ford,  Vicki Butler-Henderson , Jason Plato , Jonny Smith and Tiff Needell represent the Fifth.  Jeremy Clarkson, Richard Hammond, James May round out the crew for Top.  While it is true that many of the present and past hosts for Fifth were on the old Top staff it is Clarkson who is the most recognizable of all of them.  He is largely crediting with carrying through the format changes that solidified the return and dominance of Top in 2002 that carries on today.  The main reason I like the hosts on Top better come down to one word; chemistry.  Clarkson, May & Hammond’s personalities contrast each other so well that a peppering of sarcastic humor spun at each other culminate together in a rolling bravado that is unmatched when comparing it to Fifth.  The hosts on Fifth seem stagnant when compared.  Maybe its the shows formatting but their personalities seem like their show; segmented, aloof, fractional.  Sure Tiff is the real deal and Vicki adds the female angle missing from Top but it just isn’t enough. Top’s host’s top’s Fifth’s (quadruple apostrophe score right there!).  Give Top Gear the point here.

Production Value

In this category Top wins hands down again.  Top obviously has a higher budget and a better film crew so while I will acknowledge it I certainly am not going to slight them for it and let the evidence speak for itself.  First reason is the studio audience during the sound stage segments.  Interaction with the audience is limited but it gives the show a more inclusive appeal.  Fifth pales in comparison with chopped up segments that lack any cohesive flow in their “cafe”.  Fifth seems so much more stiff and scripted. 

 Second reason comes down to location shoots.  Top’s locale’s for shoots really scale the globe while Fifth’s mainly stick to their home of Birmingham and surrounding area’s.  From the North Pole to Transylvania to Dubai,  Top really spans the globe.

Third reason is home office.  Top is filmed at an old airfield that has been converted into a racing circuit.  Pretty ideal conditions there.  Fifth is currently filmed at the Ace Cafe in London. On all three give Top Gear the point here.

Segments

Some might argue that Fifth is a much more down to earth show with more sensible econoboxes and they would be right.  The budget segments on Top are scarce and I appreciate Fifth trying to cater to that portion of the audience that doesn’t so much care about Lambo’s latest Murcielago lp-650F Spec-S Superlegerra SV Edition.  What Top lacks in serious contemplation of sub $30,000 (some might even argue ($100,000) automobiles it makes up for with the shinning ”Star in a Reasonably-Priced car” segment.  Jeremy Clarkson interviews a celebrity and then shows a clip of their driving on the Top Gear track, filmed earlier. They are then put on to a board and ranked.  In the stable there have been two reasonably-priced-cars, a Suzuki Liana and a Chevrolet Lacetti. 

Lastly I’ll just mention The Stig, no explanation needed.  Point goes to Top.

Conclusion 

While I enjoy both shows it is hard to compare them directly (as shown above), as they each satisfy viewers in different ways.  Fifth Gear is much more focused on the cars, and Top Gear is more focused on the entertainment.  Different? Yes.  Better? Yes.  Top Gear sweep!

Sad to see another episode of Fifth Gear with Johnny Smith still bringing the quality of the program down.

Even the other presenters used the expression “run out of talent” as we saw the lacklustre Smith destroy yet another Smart Car, as he rolled his “wheelie car” onto its roof. Even when his more talented co-presenter landed his larger wheelie car on Smith’s car, he failed to crush Smith’s roll cage with the additional weight. Sadly, some real design failures going on there.

Unfortunately, unlike an earlier incident in a previous series, where one of the other presenters managed to end up with a broken foot after his modified Rascal van had an off, Smith managed to thwart the assassination attempt, as the crew had done an unacceptably responsible job on the Smart’s roll cage, and rather than collapsing in the incident, it stayed complete and protected him.

I guess we can thank Health & Safety for this mistake, and no win no fee claims, which even he would have been able to use if he had been killed.

We were then subjected to his excruciating attempts to be clever, as he tried to make some funny remarks while driving the Ghostbuster’s car.

Laugh? I nearly stopped sticking pins in my eyes just stop the tears so I could see ECTO 1.

The funniest part of the whole thing was the fraud presenter had chosen to invite a psychic to partner him during the piece. A fraud accompanied by a psychic – appropriate or what?

Typical of the pathetic attempts he makes to present a report was the hackneyed and clichéd scene he put together using low-light cameras shooting in the dark in a supposedly haunted room.

That must have taken all of nearly a second to dream up, and then he adds to the insult to our intelligence by trying to convince us that everyone’s really really scared, and that strange things happened in the room.

Please Fifth Gear, just give him the order of the boot, and your standing against Top Gear will take an immediate rise.

Alright so this post is actually a quick follow up to my post about the new Ford Focus RS. I was watching some videos about the RS since I just love that sound and I came across a video that i forgot to post the first time! It’s the end of the episode of Fifth Gear when Tiff and Jason pit the RS v.s. the EVO X, which is a cool race but kind of predictable.

The video is really funny check it out. Enjoy

Well I’m a day late and a couple of hundred dollars short on this one, but I finally watched Top Gear last night. The show is definitely back on track. I was pleased to see that they had a good cheap car challenge and that the car that was tested was a legitimate supercar. Plus, I actually knew who the star in their reasonably priced car was. Overall then, not a bad episode; and one that was better than the first one.

The main chunk of the episode was the now classic “buy a cheap car and run tests” thing. In this case, they were given 2500 pounds and told to buy a car a 17-year-old would normally drive and get it insured as well. Turns out, that insurance in Britain is INSANE!! Good god, how to people over there even afford to run a car that is even remotely enjoyable? I just don’t get it. But anyway, James showed up in a Golf, Hammond had a Scoupe, and Clarkson brought a Volvo wagon of some sort. I won’t ruin any of the surprises or challenges because it really was a good one. I was almost on the floor laughing so hard.

The main car test then was of the new Lamborghini Murcielago LP 670-4 SV. As it turns out, it’s quite a fast car. Hammond just happened to be in the Middle East, where there just happens to be a large number of super-expensive, ultra-exclusive cars and a four-mile-long road that is completely straight and was shut down. The best Mucielago ever? Of course. He then proceeded to get into a drag race with a McLaren SLR 722 and lost, but his car was over 100,000 pounds less expensive, and it still cost a cool 270,000 pounds. Damn.

The star in their car this week was none other than the actor Stephan Fry. He is probably best known in the Western world as the sometimes psychiatrist on the TV show “Bones” and can also be heard as the voiceover man in the video game “Little Big Planet.” It was a good interview and a good segment.

At the end of the show, Hammond took us back to the Middle East (I forget where and could easily look it up, but don’t feel like it) where he proceeded to race a Bugatti Veyron against the legendary McLaren F1. Suffice it to say, the Veyron won. Why shouldn’t it? I was surprised that it didn’t get off the line quite like it is supposed to, but maybe the real owner didn’t want Hammster burning the clutch out. Either way, they were both exceedingly fast, with the Veyron pulling out a lead at the end of a mile.

A few gripes once again (it really can’t be helped), but I remember when they used to test more than one car a show. Now it seems like they have one super long challenge or race and then the news, a test, a guest and the finish of the challenge. They used to do the Cool Wall – before Fifth Gear burnt it down – and they used to have more show in the same time it seemed like. Also, you could clearly see where they cut out content from the episode and the damn thing still went over an hour. Not that I’m complaining about the time because as far as I’m concerned, the show could be longer. All in all a very good episode and I can’t wait to see what they do next.

As Fifth Gear makes its way back onto our screens this week, I thought I might lose my shirt when they placed the Ford Focus RS in a dogfight with the Evo X – suspecting a surprise result, and shaking my head as the two cars don’t belong together in a fair fight, I placed my marker firmly on the Evo X wiping the track with the RS’s upholstry.

They’re different animals, and while I was pleased to see that the Evo technically thrashed the RS by 2 seconds, it wasn’t a fair fight – but that doesn’t make the result any less interesting.

The producers need to find a skip though, and drop the dirty looking little schookid Johnny Smith into it. He always looks as if he needs a wash, and has facial hair that looks as if he draws it on with a magic marker every mornig, to make himself look a bit older.

And, he should have been fired on the spot fro the report he turned in on the V10 Audi R8 with the Lamborghini engine – even the other presenters first remark on his joke of a report on the car was to observe that he never actually drove the car. He might as well have let it roll down a hill and just steered.

PLEASE – DUMP JOHNNY SMITH FROM FIFTH GEAR – HE’S DRAGGING THE WHOLE PROGRAMME DOWN TO HIS OWN VERY POOR LEVEL.

I think this every series, and look in dismay when his magic markered face re-appears with the start of a new series. His presentation is lack lustre, and if he’s responsible for thinking up the largely trivial articles he presents, then he’s also guilty of fraud if he’s getting paid for them.

But… Cheapskate – ideal for Johnny Smith.

The first programme ended with the superb Hot Wheels like loop-the-loop stunt completed with the Toyota Aigo – watch again on the Fifth Gear web site.

(I posted the Fifth Gear video of the stunt, but some clown had set it to autorun, so you would be obliged to wait ages for it to buffer up, even if you didn’t wan to watch it, and I noticed it was also wrapped inside sponsor tags,. Since they aren’t paying me to show their adverts, I’m certainly not showing their adverts for free, or letting them steal space or time here).

Congratulations to all the team  – except Mr Smith of course. He should have been standing under the centre of the loop, ready to cushion the car and protect the driver, had they fallen out of the loop.