I have fierce pride. The kind of pride that, when injured, causes me to hold grudges for years. Especially when it comes to my own personal finance.

For instance, my freshmen year of college my mother made an off-handed comment to a mutual friend about how she and my father had expected me to be more independent than I was. It was probably only baesd on the fact that I was constantly calling them to go out to lunch, but it had such an effect on me. From that moment on, I never asked for money from my parents. I refused to let them pay for my tuition, books or living expenses. When I needed money desperately enough, I would donate plasma.

Tonight, I had a similar incident with D. I was telling his friends a funny story about a bet we made that D lost when he said that he had to pay up “because it was the only way Red would take my money.” He continued by saying that I quit my job, and he should be claiming me as a dependent this year.

Now, I did quit my job and remained unemployed for a month. But I planned to do so. I had enough in the bank to pay the bills and buy my own food. The only thing D did was pay for the few times we went out for a movie or food. I would hardly call that “supporting” me. I knew that he was there if I needed financial support, but I was able to use Craigslist sales to supplement my lack of income.

Tonight when he said that, I felt like the wind had been knocked out of me. While he knew he wasn’t being entirely serious, his friends couldn’t have known that. They don’t know me well enough to know how fanatical I am about supporting myself.

When we got home, D explained it as though he had only said that to get back at me for telling the story about our bet. He said my story made him out to be a joke.

I’m dumbfounded! D tells stories about my stupidity all the time. And our bet – which was on the lyrics of a Prince song – was not anything embarrassing.

I guess I’ve always taken the stance that if a story is true, even if it’s embarrassing, I expect people to tell it. My parents tell the same embarrassing stories about me over and over, no matter who the audience is. And D tells stories about silly things I’ve done to his friends. Even private things that I wouldn’t want anyone to know, much less his friends.

Now we’re at an impasse. I’m upset with him for portraying me – totally incorrectly – as a fiscally irresponsible person. He’s upset with me for telling an “embarrassing” story to his friends.

Before this incident, D and I simply took turns paying for things. If I pay for dinner, he pays for the movie and so on. Now I’m tempted to scrap our routine and just go dutch. That way each of us is only supporting ourselves and cannot make a claim that one is “supporting” the other. Maybe I’m taking this too far. But I feel a point must be made. I am no one’s charity case.

No matter how we feel, think, or believe, there is unity in our diversity.  We just have to find that one thing that bonds us together.  Finding that one thing we all have in common is the first step to solving any problem.  No matter how far apart we are in our feelings, thinking or beliefs, finding that common ground enables us to come together and find a solution that we all can live with.  This is true in our personal lives as well as in politics.

Some years back I took classes in Family and Divorce Mediation.  I was planning on hanging out my shingle and helping people find solutions to their obstacles.  Learning and doing are not the same thing and I found it difficult to remain unbiased during the process.  My hat is off to those who can do it without having the training and skills of a lawyer.

What I learned, however, has not left me and it has served me well at times.  Mediation is not a win/lose process.  The mediator must find common ground that will enable the parties to eventually come to some agreement that they can both live with.  The mediator must take two parties who are angry, hurt, and suffering and guide them gently to a compromise.  This is not easy.

Having said this, I feel that the same process can be applied to almost any situation.  I have heard about neighbors who don’t get along.  This is so sad, since both have to live where they do and moving is sometimes not possible.   A lot of the time we are “right fighters”, as I’ve heard Dr. Phil say time and time again.  We decided that we have to be right and we will do anything to prove it.  In order to do that we have to go to any length to either prove the other person wrong or sway them around to our point of view.  Either way, the problems are bound to escalate.

Why am I bringing this up?  Every problem starts somewhere.  If we can go back to that first moment and understand the dynamics of the problem from the very first moment, we have a chance of stopping the problem before it becomes unfixable.

Both people often feel like victims.  At that point the problem solving goes out the window.  It takes two to fight.  Therefore, there are two victims and two perpetrators.  No one is at fault all the time.  Each person usually takes turns by making very bad choices which take the disagreement to a new level.

We want to feel vindicated.  We want our suffering to be acknowledged.  We want it to stop.  But what are we willing to do to be part of the solution?  If we are not part of the solution then we are part of the problem.  These misunderstandings are usually created when someone feels disrespected, snubbed,  their personal property damaged, or their privacy and autonomy in jeopardy.

So, what steps can we all take to start mending fences?  If you feel your rights have been trampled on in some way, what do you do first?

Step #1          Purchase a journal.  Start documenting those things that you find offensive.  Don’t just write down what happened, include details of how it made you feel and any expense that was incurred as a result.  Try to explain in as much detail as you can what you are objecting to.  Make it as precise as possible.  If you can’t explain it so you understand it, no one else will understand it and communication is important.   Make sure you write down dates, names, places, and everything you can think of.  Were there any witnesses?

Step #2        Sit down and go over your journal entries regularly.  Try to figure out why you are so angry.  Is it something from your past that you are reacting to in the present or is it a real problem that needs to be addressed.  Try to find the root of the problem and why you may be reacting so badly to the situation.  Sometimes it is simply that the other person is not taking responsibility for their actions or the actions of friends or family members, not to mention pets.  Knowing these things helps clarify it. But do your homework before you snap.

Step #3        If this is an ongoing situation that can’t be ignored, it is time to address your concerns to the other person.  Call and set up a time when both of you can sit down in a neutral place like a restaurant or other public place to discuss it.  It might be wise to bring along a friend and urge the other person to do the same.  Be nice about it.  Coming to the table angry will not serve your cause.

Step #4       Write down what you want to say.  Be prepared.  Ask the person to let you say what you need to say and then she can have her turn uninterrupted.  Explain that you want to find a solution to the problem that you both will be happy with.  Then be respectful when she speaks and try to understand her point of view as well.  This is the point when a solution is most likely to be found.  Make sure you look at how she sees the problem from her perspective and try to find some common ground to work from.  Allow her to be part of the solution and do not dictate the solution.  There are two sides to every story.  Ask questions about what is going on in their life as if they are your best friend.  Share with them those things that they might need to know in order to understand your situation.  Are you a day sleeper?  Have you had a recent illness?  Have you been going through some tough times and might be a little sensitive right now?  Anything that you can share could be potentially helpful.  anything they share can be something to ponder.

Step #5        Assure the other person that they have been heard and impress upon them that you will take what you have heard home and think on it.  Then, really think on it in earnest.  Find the common ground.  Try to put yourself in their place.  Offer your help in some way that may take a burden from their shoulders or offer a solution they may not have thought of. But don’t back them into a wall.  They will come out fighting and that is not what you want.

Everyone’s situation is unique.  But, there will also be commonalities that you can use as a spring board.  What ever you do, have compassion and come at the problem from the point of view that the person may not even be aware there is a problem.  It probably is not a deliberate act against you.  And, there might be a good explanation that you can understand or you might lite on a solution that you can do to solve the problem for yourself.  I have always believed that good fences make for good neighbors.  It may be as simple as a good fence.  Don’t resent the other person for making this problem for you.  Your fence might just ease her burden too.

Chris

“The simple proposition should be that you don’t want people being paid for taking too much risk, and you want to make sure that their compensation is tied to long-term performance.” – Timothy F. Geithner, the Treasury secretary.

“It was all fake. It was all fictitious. It was wrong, and I knew it was wrong at the time.” – Frank DiPascali, described as a crucial figure in the $65 billion Ponzi scheme run by Bernard L. Madoff.

Happy Saturday friends! You don’t usually see a weekend post from me but I’m on vacation!! Yee Haw!!

As I said in my last post, I am not a Black Friday shopper. However, I have been contemplating a major purchase for several months now and knowing yesterday might be a great day to find a good deal, I took my Geek Squad (aka my brother) and went to do some research at the Apple store.

Currently, I have a Dell desktop. It still works just fine, but I can tell it’s starting to slow down. With the recent uptake of blogging, using it has limited me in when and where I can write. So I began researching several laptops. I looked into the one Verizon offers, as well as some from Dell and Sony. All along, though, I knew my gut was whispering, “Mac. You’re a Mac..Just do it, stupid.”

Cory, Sarah and I ventured down to the Domain, a very lush outdoor shopping area/mall? I don’t know, we have nothing of the sort in PA and spent some time in the Apple store, looking at different models and talking to the specialists. We decided to walk around a bit and think about it.

Of course a huge factor into this was the financial aspect of it. I knew I would have to finance the purchase but my family also offered to put some money toward it for Christmas. I crunched the numbers over and over again, and realized, yes I can afford this (and not be paying it off for the rest of my life.)

As we walked, I frantically emailed Happy Go Lucky Alex for some “machine advice.” She is a Mac user and said something very poignant:

Nevermind. Screw being realistic. You are a writer, you need a good machine. Scratch that. You deserve a good machine, Caitlin! Macs are the best hands down, stop walking, start buying.

I read that and said, “She’s right, I’m a writer, dammit. Let’s do this.”

So with that, a Mac user was born.

Alex congratulated me.

Thanks, girl!! So here I am, coming to you live from my new MacBook. I have to admit, it’s pretty nice to just chill on the couch or hang out in the kitchen and blog. Hello Bliss, I have arrived. Boy, a lot of changes already in this Twenty-Fifth Year! Thanks for joining me on the ride!!

The rest of the day was pretty low key. I had Cory and Sarah try Green Monsters:

Verdict? They liked it! Hey Mikey! (They both licked the little shot glass – so yeah, it was goooood.)

And me? Well c’mon..

Last night we had some Texas BBQ

Followed by Breakfast Tacos this morning both from Smokey Mos.

Mine was egg, cheese and potato with some piquante sauce. Mmmmm!

We I also put up the Christmas tree. It’s a tradition in my house that I always do this solo. Mum put up the rest – and always does – so I am happy to do the tree. I’ll post pics after tonight – it’s prettier with the lights! I’m off to go “window shop” accessories for my new baby – I think I need to name her! Any suggestions?

How’s your weekend shaping up? Any fun plans? Tonight we’re going to dinner and out in Austin – I can’t wait!!

Let me see a show of hands of everyone who faithfully uses coupons?

Now, let me see a show of hand of everyone who might use one or two if you remember?

Guess which group is larger.  Yep, the second group.  And it’s all due to a lack of knowledge nd a perceived lack of time.  I was in that group for years.  I figured I only needed to shop at the warehouse store and it’s little sister store and I was getting the best prices.  Un, yeah…not so much.

Then, I happened to be surfing through a news website and clicked a link.  That’s how it usually happens. I was infected….with a virus…..that led me to other sites…..and now……..I use coupons again!

Honestly that’s about the way it  happened.  I found a link to a couponing article and I clicked on the links inside the article.  Then I decided to try it for myself.  The first thing I found were links to online printable coupons.  These are manufacturer coupons that you can print from your computer.  I picked up one Sunday paper and went to my normal “little sister” store.  I saved $12 on thing I would normally have been buying anyway.

The hook was set.  I started googling for more.  That’s when I found a site that talked about a coupon binder.  What?  Back to the search engines to youtube.  Sure enough, I found loads of videos explaining how to set up a coupon binder.  Ok.  Done.  But there was more…..

I found yet another site that tracked the sales at the stores in my area and matched them with the coupons available.  Woot!  Jackpot! Now I had the means to use the best coupons at the stores with the best prices to come home with the best deals!! 

Week number three, I bought well over $500 dollars in groceries and paid a mere $250.  Yep.  I only paid HALF price for my groceries.

Want in on the secrets?

Here are some links to get you started.

www.couponcabin.com

www.couponmom.com

www.allprintablecoupons.com

www.redplum.com

www.pinchingyourpennies.com

You can do your own google for more websites, but these will get you started.

I’ll have more information on how to tie this all together soon.

It’s funny how I need a day like Thanksgiving for me to pause from the rat race to reflect and to remember all the things that I’m grateful for.

Though I’m thankful that we have a Thanksgiving Day, 1 Thessalonians 5:18 reminds me that every day should be a Thanksgiving Day…

1 Thessalonians 5:18  (NIV) “give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.”

I’m thankful for what Jesus did on the cross for me, my precious wife, my friends’ support, my health (lost 16 pounds & can run for 4 miles), and the doors that will open from my current (crummy) circumstances. But many times, I focus on the arguments with my wife, people who irk me, the things I don’t have, my aching lower back, my finances, my unemployment…ok let me stop here before I get all riled up…

Note to self  “give thanks in all circumstances”, “give thanks in all circumstances”, “give thanks in all circumstances”…

Well, I’ve been telling myself for a long time that I would start a blog. It’s time to get off my, well, you know, and actually do it. I think the hardest thing to do was to determine a topic for my blog. However, after much thought, I decided that I couldn’t pin it down to one topic. One day I might want to talk about finances, the next it could be public relations. Or maybe my family. Or maybe my cat. I think everything is going to be fair game — so if you know me in “real life” beware!

I hope that you like the topics I choose to write about. I am looking for good comments so feel free to post away.

Today’s reason for posting is a show on CNBC I have begun watching: Til Debt Do Us Part. What a GREAT show! It has made me really get serious about my finances — especially given that I am now divorced and living on a MUCH smaller income AND moving into a house at the end of next month.

I took a look at what I spent in November and was amazed to see what I spent on groceries (including things for my cat) and going out to dinner. I really can’t believe what I spent in one month on food. I can’t even tell you what I bought.

I am also amazed at how much money slips through my fingers in one month. If I establish a budget and stick to it, I’ll actually have a nice sum of money to put into savings every month. What a concept! 

The hard part, I think, will be having that “budget attitude” when with friends who do not have that attitude. If you read the comments on Gail Vaz-Oxlade’s most recent post, you’ll see that others feel the same way. It’s all about changing your mind set — or how you look at your money and what it means to you.

Anyway, I am sure I’ll write more on this as time goes on. I think it will be a fun and educational journey!

What have been your educational moments relating to money?

Lesinfos.com

L’Emirat de Dubaï, touché de plein fouet par la crise financière et économique, a prévenu jeudi 26 novembre qu’une des plus grandes entreprises du pays ne pourra pas rembourser une partie de sa dette. Cette annonce a fait l’effet d’une bombe sur les places financières du monde entier.

Dubaï a demandé à ses investisseurs financiers, qui représentent quelques 70 banques, d’échelonner la dette de son conglomérat Dubai World et d’instaurer un moratoire de six mois sur son paiement. Ce conglomérat contrôle Nakheel, le géant de l’immobilier, qui a su profiter du boom économique et immobilier de ces dernières années en allant jusqu’à l’excentrique. Un de ses projets les plus célèbres est l’île artificielle en forme de palmier, Palm Islands où les milliardaires du monde entier se sont précipités pour acheter leur villa. On peut aussi citer la tour la plus haute du monde (891 mètres), ou encore la construction d’une station de ski artificielle en plein désert. Aujourd’hui Nakheel est en incapacité de rembourser les 3,5 milliards qu’il doit.

La dette totale de Dubaï est estimée à 80 milliards de dollars en 2008. Les compagnies publiques accaparent 70 milliards de dollars, et Dubaï World, 59 milliards.

Les agences de notation financière, Moody’s et Standard and Poor’s, ont pris la décision, presque immédiate, de rétrograder respectivement six et cinq entreprises publiques de Dubaï. En baissant leur note, les prêts qu’elles doivent rembourser vont donc augmenter.

Les indices boursiers des quatre coins du monde ont décrochés et ont perdu en moyenne près de 3%. Le CAC 40 a chuté de 3,41%. Mais si l’Emirat fait vraiment faillite, les banques européennes pourraient en pâtir et perdre quelques 5 milliards d’euros selon le Crédit Suisse, car elles possèderaient 13 milliards d’euros de dette de Dubaï. Seraient concernées, BNP Paribas, Calyon, UBS, Lloyds et HSBC.

La situation de Dubaï pourrait s’aggraver dans la mesure où cet Emirat produit peu de pétrole, qui représente seulement 5% de son PIB. Le cheikh Mohammed Bin Rashid Al Maktou a décidé de diversifier son économie en misant sur l’immobilier, le tourisme et l’industrie du luxe, des secteurs qui en temps de crise, sont les premiers touchés. Depuis quelques mois les constructions se sont arrêtées, l’arrivée de nouvelles liquidités a été stoppée et les entreprises du bâtiment ne seraient plus payées. Les investissements de l’Emirat à l’étranger ont eux aussi souffert de la crise, aux Etats-Unis notamment.

Le cheikh a donc tenté de rassurer ces créanciers en affirmant que les fondamentaux de l’économie n’était pas touchés. Dubaï bénéficie encore d’un taux de croissance de 5% en 2009, mais très net recul par rapport à 2008 où il avait atteint 14%.

L’annonce du gouvernement de Dubai concernant la restructuration de Dubai World ne présage cependant rien de bon. Si le conglomérat ne trouve pas d’accord avec ses créanciers, il devra céder des actifs à l’étranger. Abou Dhabi, l’Emirat voisin, producteur de 90% du pétrole des Emirats, et grand investisseur, pourrait venir aider Dubaï qui représente une vitrine internationale pour toute la région.

La crise à Dubaï

I think that for most of us, we wonder why we have found ourselves in the situations that we’re in. We don’t necessarily like, or even understand the fact that, where we are at in our life right now, is an exact result of our level of thinking and the actions stemmed from that thinking have placed us. What we have learned and applied (the choices and decisions we make) is what has got us to where we are as individuals.
So, with that being said are you truly satisfied with where you are at in your life? If you are, is it possible that you have sacrificed some of your dreams for reality, complacency and mediocrity, to justify your spot in life at the current moment? If you aren’t happy with your situation or, are striving for much better things, then wouldn’t it be wiser to start getting fed information from the people who have the knowledge and things that you desire?

Why do we take advice from people who have the same, or even worse results than ourselves when it comes to relationships, finances, business or lifestyle? We are fed all of these 95% thinkers nonsense everyday. We choose to listen to it and let it permeate into our heads, then we start to act on and apply that dangerous thinking into our own lives and wonder “WHAT HAPPENED?” I love my friends and family, but most of them have do not have the results that I want in my life. I’m not saying that they’re losers,or that they’re idiots, their intentions are good. It’s just that I’m looking for much different results than they are, or at least I’m certainly going about getting those results in a much different way. Who are you getting fed your information from? Is it from the 95% of Americans who are stuck, hurting, and on the vicious cycle due to improper thinking stemmed from an improper source of knowledge? Or, are you cautious about what goes into your melon, and weed out the harmful abundance of just “O.K.” and even worse, “Bad”  knowledge , and listen to 5% of Americans who found a way to break free from the restrictions of the 95% have-nots and achieve their dreams?

Here are some examples of what some of the closest people to me have given me for information about my future and success. Again, I don’t mean to take away from these people in my life and certainly I don’t want you to think that I am saying not to ever listen or talk to your friends or family again, that’s not the point. Just be careful of what you’re allowing to permeate into your brain. Remember, they don’t know what they don’t know. So here we go.

1. “Go to School get a good education and get a good secure job.”
80% of college grads don’t even get into the field their degree was for in the first place. They rack up $100,000’s in debt. The average person in this generation will switch careers(not just jobs) 5-7 times in their lifetime. How can you truly live your dreams working 40-60 hours a week for someone else. And last but not least, there is no such thing as a good “SECURE” job with good benefits and a retirement plan. Companies are pulling the rug out from under employees that have been dedicated to them for decades! Please don’t think that I’m knocking education because I’m not. I believe very strongly in it. It just depends on what kind of education we’re talking about.

2. “Don’t get your hopes up.”
Really? That could be one of the most effective lines in our langauge at taking away peoples spirit, commitment, dreams and positiveness. If we were to teach people to actually get their hopes up more often, we’d see a country of achievers instead of a country of apathetic couch potatoes breeding potato chips and tater-tots. This is one of the worst lines anyone could ever say to you. Talk about lowering the bar. Get your hopes up, and if you’re disappointed learn what went wrong and fix it, don’t just give up. It’s better to burn out than rust out.

3.”That’s just life”
Honestly, can you think of any statement that requires less thought put into it?
This is a comment made by someone who has given up, and can’t see the point to anything of meaning, nor do they want you to do anything that would make them wrong.

4.”This is as good as it gets”
Please. So you’re telling me to stop dreaming? Maybe you’ll settle for less, but don’t you dare tell me to.

These are just a couple. I hope that you share some of yours with us. I’m sure that you all have plenty more to add, so feel free to keep this going and help each other out on what to look for when it comes to statements that secretly take away from us and our capabilities. Until next time!

As my lovely sister pointed out, I’ve not done an update in a while. Sorry, work got really busy and involved, which reduced my time and brain power for writing here. Which, in turn, is a shame for communicating with all of you, and fantastic for feeling a lot happier at work.

This mirrors my current headspace in general. Life has become much happier and more stable in recent weeks. It feels like I’m definitely out of the adjustment-freakout period of moving countries and into the wing-spreading and sorting-out-finer-details period. It’s lovely.

Relationships: A big part of this is that Jed and my emotional upheavals have settled down into happy being togetherness. Much less insecurity, less reactiveness, more support and understanding. It’s really nice and feels like what we both knew was possible when we made this decision.

Partially it’s because Jed seems to be much happier in general. He’s sorted our quite a few things in his head recently, as well as feeling more confident in himself. Not drinking has made a massive difference to his moods.

All of this has meant that weekends with L are lots of fun. She’s happier, as she’s sensed the difference in Jed, and me. We’ve had a couple of weekends of fun play with lots of giggles and NO SULKS from anyone. Brilliant! She’s also growing up, there’s hints of teenager starting to creep in, very interesting to observe.

Work has discovered I’m actually quite competent, and they are giving me bigger things to work on. Both good and bad . I don’t update this as frequently, for instance.

Bec recently commented on a Facebook update that they’ve got me working on an odd range of things. I’ve started to keep a project log so that I have something to refer to when writing job applications. Here’s the list of what I’ve been doing since May:

• Analysis on resident’s perceptions of their local area and how our services impact on that
• Developing an action plan template for managers to address high levels of sick leave (Sick leave here is an entirely different kettle of fish to Australia, might write that up in a Things that are Weird post)
• Negotiating a service level agreement to deliver training for women as pool lifeguards
• Scoping a project to drive ongoing improvement in our services to improve our performance ratings for independent auditors in future years (this one got pulled before I’d had a chance to finish scoping it, oh well)
• Writing the consultation on a proposed infrastructure upgrade looking at the  effects on residents’ amenities and biodiversity
• Liaising with all sorts of people to determine the legal definition of a piece of land in the Borough so a fete could be held there (this one was weird, frustrating, in the end it all came down to teacups)
• Looking at Air Quality issues in the Borough
• Assisting with the set up of a Muslim Women’s organisation
• Co-ordinating a set of project proposals across the directorate for residents to vote to spend money on, which has involved ensuring that the funding fits the way that a section wants to deliver a service and ensuring they understand the implications for securing funding in this way. This has been challenging but also good as it’s the sort of work I enjoy doing.
• Writing a case study for equalities issues in our library system
• Assisting with the project scoping and delivery of a physical move of the Borough’s car pound. Including coming up with the idea of how the building should be laid out to ensure customer and employee flow works. The project manager’s been running around telling everyone I have an “alien-like spatial awareness”. Those 2 years of Civil engineering weren’t completely wasted.

This diversity of tasks is part of the reason I’ve been floundering somewhat. Every project is so different I almost have to start from scratch. Back in June I turned down an interview for a 2 year contract in order to stay here as I felt it was somewhere I could learn about how the English government and policy system works. Sure enough I have, more quickly that I would have in a more niche or focussed position.

I’ve been confirmed for a final stage interview for a position with the London Waste and Recycling Board. The position they’re filling is very like the one I had in Sydney, albeit with a more commercial focus, so I’ve got a decent chance of getting it. Overall, feeling more confident about work/career at the moment.

House: We’ve not yet moved, which is the major frustration at the moment. We were rejected by the landlord for the property I mentioned in my previous update, as we are both on temporary contracts and therefore deemed to not have a stable income. Despite the fact we’ve both demonstrated we can pay rent at that level and our contracts have been stable for 6 months, and we’re earning more than enough to pay the rent. We found this out on the Tuesday before we were due to move.

That landlord is apparently very finicky with his tenants, and we were told by the estate agents they’d be happy to put us into any of their other properties. So we changed our holding deposit (£350, not a small sum of money) to another property, and were due to due a lease on Monday. However we’d need a guarantor to underwrite us. A GUARANTOR! FOR A RENTAL PROPERTY!! Gah!

Jed’s father agreed to do this for us. Unfortunately there was some confusion about when they needed the paperwork for this and the form went in on Tuesday. Also, I am really worried that his status as retired and supported by private means won’t be enough for these guys and we’ll be rejected again.

This is all despite me having enough savings in the bank to cover a year’s worth of rent. Apparently this isn’t good enough “as I could just go and buy a car nest week” GAH! I am coming to understand why estate agents are so hated here, I have NEVER been subject to this level of financial scrutiny and distrust. Except by immigration officials when I applied for a Highly Skilled Migrant Visa for the UK, and, well, that’s their job.

I’m loathe to call for an update to see if we’re OK, as I don’t want to have to deal with the disappointment if we’re not. Nor trying to work out if we can get the £350 back (which is that holiday in Paris I’ve not yet taken, at the least). I wrote them a long email last night to support our case and explain the situation to the landlord, so maybe it will be OK?

If it’s not… it’s going to be tough. Technically we gave notice to be out of the property we’re in by the end of the month. Our flatmate is staying there so that’s not as dire as it sounds, but he’s lined someone up to move in. However, he’s not on the lease, and Jed is, which means he’s got no legal rights there (neither do I), but that’s a messy way of dealing with it. Also, I’m not sure how much longer my sanity can cope with living there.

Ultimately I’m hoping and praying(pleading) that we’ll be able to sign a lease next week, and it will all be OK, and life starts to become even more stable. Almost a year of living somewhere I considered to be temporary is not good.

If you were reading my blog many months ago, you may have caught this post about how my then boyfriend bought a house. I thought it was an absolutely terrible idea for him to do, and so did his brother (a financial consultant). However, he did it anyway. So I wanted to put together a list of signs that you shouldn’t buy a house:

1) You have credit card debt

If you have credit card debt, you shouldn’t be buying a house. Get your cards (literally!) in order and then you can start to think about buying a house. For instance, my ex wanted to use his $8,000 tax rebate from buying his house to pay off his credit card. He should have put this money into his principle, into his house savings fund, ect – however, he shouldn’t have bought the house with $8,000 worth of credit card debt anyway!

2) You just want to feel grown up

You shouldn’t buy a house just because you think you’re old enough and it is “about time” you do SOMETHING to prove you’re an adult. Just because you’re “old enough” doesn’t mean that buying a house is a financially smart decision for you. If you really want some added responsibility – get a cat! It should also go without saying that just because “everyone else is” – isn’t a good enough reason either. Do we need to have a talk about peer pressure?

3) You don’t have 20% down

If you haven’t saved enough money to have 20% down, then you aren’t ready to buy a house. Get your 20% down and then get a house. You’ll save yourself a butt-load of money by not having to get mortgage protection insurance.

4) You can’t pay the 20% down without using your E-fund

If you’re counting on your E-fund as part of your 20% down, STEP AWAY FROM THE HOUSE. You’ll need that E-fund in case you loose your job, the water heater breaks, ect, ect, ect. That 20% down you’re saving should be APART from your E-fund.

5) You don’t have a sufficient E-fund

If your E-fund is not sufficient, you shouldn’t be buying the house. It should be fully funded up to the level that is appropriate for your family. For me, this would mean that I would need a $10,000 E-fund IN ADDITION to my down payment. Being without an E-fund for the sake of owning a home is NO EXCUSE – and a recipe for financial disaster.

6) You don’t understand how much more a house costs than a mortgage payment

I’m not sure if there is a general rule of thumb about this, but I’ve always believed that you should save 20% of what you pay to your mortgage into a “House Emergency Fund” – this way if the water heater breaks or you need to re-do the roof or maybe you want a new kitchen counter, you have a fund to pull from. So if your mortgage payment is $1,000/month, you should IN ADDITION be putting $200/month into a house savings account with a goal of 10% of the home’s value in that account.

7) You plan on moving within 10 years

Sure, some people will say 5 years or 7 years, but lets me honest, to be sure you can get enough equity in your home so that you’re not underwater in your home loan during the next recession you should know that you’ll stay at your current location for the next decade. I don’t plan on buying myself a house until I get tenure – it will be my tenure present to myself – and tenure will be insurance that I won’t be leaving any time soon!

8 ) You can’t afford it

There is a huge difference between what you can afford and what you can get a loan for. Just because you get approved for a $200k loan doesn’t mean you can afford a $200k house payment. And just because you can SQUEEZE it into your budget doesn’t mean that it makes financial sense to strap yourself to a loan payment that stretches your budget too thin. Don’t spend more on your mortgage than you comfortably can afford if you were to lose 40% of your monthly income – this way you can live on 60% of your salary and put 40% into savings and investments.

9) You can’t afford the 15-year mortgage

Now, there is a camp that claims that it is better to get a 30-year mortgage because the money that you’re not putting into the mortgage can be put into mutual funds or stocks or other high interest funds. That is all fine and dandy if you choose this route. HOWEVER, for it to make financial sense you have to be putting the difference between the 15yr mortgage and the 30 year mortgage into investments. If you are getting the 30-year because you can’t afford the 15-year there is a problem here. You need a smaller loan or a less expensive house.

10) You think you’re “throwing” your money away in rent

If you believe that rent is just “throwing your money away” you don’t know enough about money yet to buy a house. Renting is not “throwing away” your money. You get a roof over your head, a living place with free maintenance, and the chance to save money before you purchase a home, with the freedom to leave if you have to relocate for whatever reason. If you still think that renting is just throwing away money please read the post I wrote here about paying for a house in full while renting.

11) You can’t afford to furnish your new house

As Carrie… On The Cheap reminded me, you need to have money to furnish your house. Her and Lloyd are saving up $15k to furnish their house. You don’t want to get into credit card debt because you bought a house!

Did I leave anything out? Are there other signs that you shouldn’t be buying a house right now?

As our parents age we find ourselves taking on more and more responsibility, ranging from grocery shopping to using our money to help pay their bills. It can cause a lot of stress for the caregiver and it starts to seem like you never get to just sit and enjoy your parents company, it’s go, go, go all the time. A little extra money could ease the financial stress and even provide some in-home care for grocery shopping, housework and more, leaving us more quality time with our parents.

A reverse mortgage can bring in that extra money. There’s been a lot of talk about reverse mortgages in the news and we’re seeing the commercials and ads, but there’s a lot of misconceptions about them. The following page from the HUD website is a good place to start if you need more information about reverse mortgages.

Top Ten Things to Know if You’re Interested in a Reverse Mortgage

oh Jimbo, netflix does rock

 the all mighty dollar and the Almighty Himself.

10.27.09

Spring boarding from last week’s bellowing of Peter in Acts to Simon the Sorcerer that he can’t buy the gifts of God, let’s dive into this passage:     from the parable of Prodigal Son, Luke 15

“²⁸But he was angry and refused to go in. His father came out and entreated him, 29but he answered his father, ‘Look, these many years I have served you, and I never disobeyed your command, yet you never gave me a young goat, that I might celebrate with my friends. 30But when this son of yours came, who has devoured your property with prostitutes, you killed the fattened calf for him!’ 31And he said to him, ‘Son, you are always with me, and all that is mine is yours. 32It was fitting to celebrate and be glad, for this your brother was dead, and is alive; he was lost, and is found.”    -Luke 15: 28-32

In this story this is the older brother talking angrily to his father as the younger disobedient son has just came home after blowing much of the family fortune stupidly. The older obedient son is irate that the father hasn’t ever given him any prize (a skinny goat) to celebrate, but yet the disobedient son is getting the good stuff (a fat calf). This is often us, looking around and equating our situation with others and making judgments about God, ourselves and most likely others’ situations.

So where’s this all fit in with money? That key line: ‘Son, you are always with me, and all that is mine is yours.’ This line infers several things vital to understanding in the spiritual economy:

1. The true riches of life are that we can be with our Father both now and in His presence forever (‘always with me’) in heaven. > Which nullifies any petty squabbling over one person having more than another, when our true riches are of no material means.

      2.    Perhaps the older son has never asked for anything, when the Father was always more than willing (‘all that is mine is yours.’) > James says “you have not, because you ask not”. (James 4:2-3) This is not saying we get whatever we want, but God definitely wants us to express all of our needs to Him. Even if they aren’t so easily expressed, like wanting God’s validation of our work for Him whether it’s a young goat or a letter/card from our child or a ‘I respect and love you’ moment from the wife or maybe it is a material thing.

       3.     Lastly, that everything is ours because we our sons. God is not poor. God literally owns everything “The earth is the LORD’s, and everything in it,” (Ps.21:1) or “for every animal of the forest is mine, and the cattle on a thousand hills.” (Ps. 50:10) Now the Devil is the ruler of this world, when ‘world’ means the systems of behavior/norms/sin we operate on, but God is still in control, power and ownership over the physical earth and increasingly we are giving Him ownership of our free willed souls. SO THE POINT is we are sons and heirs to everything, we can trust God with everything because HE HAS ALL THE NECESSARY MEANS TO SUPPORT US.

 If life was a game of middle school dodge ball and we could pick anyone or thing to be on our team, I’d pick God first to rely on. Who do we pick though each decision and moment in our days? Could we think of a better thing? Even picking $100 billion dollars, would that be safer? ….probably not, money could and ultimately will pass away…(think hyper-inflation or Revelation) Jesus even addresses this idea of trusting anything but Him : “Heaven and earth will pass away, but my words will never pass away.” – Matthew 24:35  

So who will we trust, experience, rely on, ASK and words to trust?  Trust Jim Cramer or Jim Cramer’s Creator/Redeemer/Sanctifier?  Comment on my friends!

Today is Steaksgiving at my family’s home. My sister is staying up at her university for today, to see a big rivalry game. She’ll be back in town tomorrow, so we’re going to do Thanksgiving then. Today, I’ll grill with my father, and sew with my mother, and drink beer and watch Bond movies with the both of them. It’s going to be delightful.

I’m working on another blog, a much more frustrated one. It’s not done yet, and I figured that today would not be a good day to air it even if it were finished. I know that it’s been ages since I wrote here last. I don’t know what to say, other than when the spirit has moved me, I’ve been too exhausted to even type. Which is kind of pathetic. But now I’m on a forced holiday, since there aren’t any students at the school, and have regained a bit of my verve.

As the title implies, tattoo season has come. It’s finally consistently cold enough to ensure that I won’t be going diving. And since I’m not much one for hot-tubs, there’s little chance that any part of my body will be submerged in water for quite some time.  I’ve been thinking a lot about getting more tattooing done, since more than a year ago.

I thought about getting a tattoo in London, as a sort of permanent souvenir, or at least as permanent a souvenir as one can get. But prices were somewhat prohibitive and I was going through a period of rapid personal change, so I wasn’t sure that whatever I’d get would be something that I’d want further down the road. Since then, I’ve been thinking about tattoos a lot, and will hopefully get another one soon.

I may or may not update this thing when I figure out what I’ll get and where. We’ll see. Either way, that ramble, the grumpy one, will be up soon.

Wealth Propulsion is an event first – a totally unique opportunity for you to redesign your wealth blueprint and make massive changes to your finances. It will propel you from where you are now to where you want to be.