Marriage was something we had already discussed so I allowed myself to entertain a few fantasies about a romantic Italian engagement. But I didn’t want to get my hopes up so I dismissed all thoughts of soon-to-be wedding bliss and just focused on enjoying our trip.

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For example,

I finally told my photographer our wedding has changed and the ceremony isn’t on the original date anymore.

He cancelled.

I mean, at first I was upset. I felt I had done something wrong. Then I got angry because I thought it was due to the non-traditional aspects of everything and I really felt I did nothing wrong. Now I’m ambivalent. More and more I just want our wedding to be fun. I want to feel comfortable and loved. I want to drink wine without worrying about how much longer the photographer is around (he’s pretty much our only on-site vendor), making sure he’s got what he needs.

Besides, I totally understand where he is coming from. We had an agreement and he’s not really getting his end of the deal. These things happen. Luckily we’ve only paid him for our engagement photos so that’s worked out from our perspective. And now we have more money to work with in our budget.

In the end, as much as I love professional wedding photography, I know I’ll love the photos all of my friends and family will take just as much, maybe even more.

In light of things turning on their heads, I think everything is actually working out for the better. I wanted that day to feel special, to have significance. But as per usual we have no money and no space and there was big debate over what we were doing afterward. . It’s going to be his mom and dad and my mom her boyfriend, probably my brothers and my grandparents. Nice and simple and quiet.

After talking with a few friends and my maid of honour, we came up with a solution. Erin might let us use her farm for the after party. So we’ll all pile into our respective vehicles and drive a few minutes outside of town to a lovely berry farm. Inside will be delicious food and some bubbly and we’ll celebrate until we get bored of each other. Afterward maybe we’ll head into town and celebrate at our local hole in the wall with more friends.

Thank God I have awesome friends with beautiful spaces like farms. I’m really looking forward to that day. I feel like it has a purpose now. Plus we’re probably going to have delicious champagne and cupcakes afterward! YUM!

It’s official. Things have turned on their head and we’re less than 3 months away from the big day. We had planned to have a friend put together a lovely, unofficial in the eyes of the law, ceremony at the bed and breakfast. She can no longer attend which broke my heart but is totally understandable.

We decided things wouldn’t be right if we asked someone to take her place and we couldn’t think of any way to modify the ceremony to accommodate the change and make us happy at the same time. So our civil ceremony has stepped things up. We’ve booked our civil ceremony for the end of April so it looks like we’ll be getting married a lot sooner than expected. It’s exciting to be planning both a reception and a civil ceremony.

What’s next in the madness of wedding world?

It’s strange, but we had no idea how to legally be married. Who is supposed to? Most people get married in a church or by a religious officiant so it’s all taken care of. If you’re not going down that road, than it takes some digging around to figure it out.

I’m sure every province is different but for any of you looking to marry in Ontario, Canada you have to apply for a marriage license, book an appointment (the last friday of every month) to have your civil ceremony, than finally apply for the marriage certificate. Depending on who might be in that particular day dictates which one of those city employees will marry you. You meet them about a week before and they show you the space, tell you what to expect and how many guests you can have. A week later you’re married! Eight weeks after that you may apply for your marriage certificate and start changing your health card, your drivers license and other ID other than your birth certificate.

Tada! Romantic eh?

So far, we’ve actually drawn a to-scale model of our reception venue with paper and pens. We cut out little tables to scale to match and placed them all around the barn bloor to create a good flow. We’ve also started collecting books and removing their stickers. We bought burlap for the table runners and we’ve also purchased 300 candles from Ikea, but I want more.

You see, we’re using books, burlap, and candles in some sort of winning combination I have yet to figure out. Recently I’ve also started pricing red flowers because I wasn’t sure if something was missing.

I’m not into most traditional wedding things, but something that always rings true is being their for Matthew when he’s not well. This time, it’s me. Right now I’m battling a wicked case of food poisoning or something like it and it is awful. It is awful and it ain’t pretty.

Thank god he’s here for me.

I’d write more but I’d puke all over my little lappy. Sorry guys!

I’ve never used one before but I figured it would be pretty easy. This way we wouldn’t have to rely on friends borrowing their mothers sewing machine to help us put together various wedding projects. Now that I had my own I was enthralled with all the wedding projects I could come up with!

Sewing To Do:

- Bunting Flags
- Burlap Table Runners
- Smore Bags

Little did I know it’s more than just pressing a button or pushing a pedal. Threading the upper thread is easy, the lower bobbin, possible. Getting them to work together is another story! Every time I try for about 20 minutes then give up and read the manual again. One day I’ll get it.

So far we’ve cut out various shapes and sizes for the bunting. I attempted to sew them all together but FAILED horribly. I think sewing fabric works better when it’s sewn TO something. My Maid of Honour is a genius and showed me how to rip fabric (even with skinny pieces!) so that it falls in a straight line. Now we have no need for that silly double bias tape those tutorials keep telling me about. So I can take my fabric and make it into fun bunting that looks something like these.
 

 

I really want my family and friends to come together to make this wedding happen. The idea of a community of people coming together to make one event so special and memorable is huge in my mind. Wedding planning is definitely a balancing act of pleasing people. I think I forget that this wedding is for Matt and I, not for anyone else.

I get frustrated sometimes because when I tell people about elements of the wedding I often get that sideways glance. You know, the one where you tell them “well, my dress isn’t white, infact it’s carmel” and their head cocks to the side and you carry on with “and my shoes are gold and sparkly”. I feel like I can’t convey to them the way this wedding is coming together and that, albeit non-traditional and rule breaking in many ways, hopefully they’ll understand once it’s all said and done.

Obviously, wedding planning can be all consuming at times so remember to take a break and do something fun and silly and less adult-like.

This weekend we went OUTDOORS *gasp* (I’ve been such a homebody lately/all winter) and went tobogganing. If you’re Canadian, you’ll know what I’m talking about. It’s our national winter sport, after hockey, after lacrosse. Tobogganing = awesome and I actually forgot how fun it can be. Basically, you get your crazy carpet (sled/toboggan) out of the closet, you wear silly clothing to keep you warm and dry (or at least make an attempt to) and after a hearty meal you head for the hill!

It was so fun to do something to enjoy ourselves again and release some steam. Get out there and do something fun – TOBOGGAN!

• because we are always honest with each other 
• because he truly finds me beautiful
• because we’d do anything for each other
• because I want to recognize how I feel about him and boyfriend isn’t enough for me
• because it works out well legally
• because I hate my last name and his is better
• because I know we are ready

It felt good to write the list. Give it a try. Be honest with it too!

Yesterday we went out in search of burlap. Who knew it wouldn’t look anything like what we had expected? Or that we wouldn’t actually find any? We (myself, Matt, his mom and sister) drove around searching and searching in one of the not-so-friendly cities of Ontario (I’m sure you can guess which bustling city I’m referring to). Matt wanted to grab the first thing we saw meanwhile I have this image in my head and knew it didn’t match up at all. In the end we left completely un-satisfied. I’ll admit, at first, I was a little angry. I had no control over where we went, how long we stayed there, what I was going to find or if it would ever live up to what I had in my head. But after a few seconds of deep breathing and reflecting on the situation I realized that it’s not really that important.

What’s more important was that I got to spend time with Matt and his family doing something for the wedding together. All in all, the experience wasn’t too terrible and it ending up being one of the few moments where you have an opportunity to feel like you’re wedding is happening.

It’s key to remember what’s truly important to you when things get a little crazy, especially around Christmas. So from my little family to yours, I hope you have a Merry Christmas and I’ll see you in the New Year!

We’re 6 months away from the big day and all I can think about is how stressed I am. Awkwardly enough, for awhile now I’ve felt like we have had a handle on the wedding planning but all of life’s other elements are overwhelming, especially my graduate program. It’s basically left me with no time or energy. When I’m not in school I’m doing work for school. Spending time with Matt has come down to sitting beside him or in the same room but totally checked out mentally. How am I supposed to plan a wedding when we can’t even spend 5 minutes together?

It takes its toll and I feel like I need to press the reset button. How do we get back to those times when we were so excited to see each other? When I didn’t snap at him for no apparent reason? When I wasn’t asleep at 10 pm and awake again before 7 am?

I think every now and then you have to re-evaluate your priorities. On Friday night I had the chance to go out with a bunch of friends from my program but instead I took the night off and Matt and I ordered some dinner and spent some time together. The TV was off and the Christmas lights were on and it was cozy and lovely even if it was only for an hour or so. We even started registering for gifts online.

He helps me realize life is too short. Matt is WAY more important to me than my assignments and being totally stressed about them. It’s hard being in a relationship and it’s hard to be in one and be in a labour intensive program and plan a wedding. I mean, we don’t have it hard by any means but I just thought I’d share my troubles with you in case you might be in the same boat!

Bottom line, wedding planning and relationships are not always as lovey-dovey as they make it seem!

I think I found every photographers website in my area and emailed all of them just in case they had a price within our budget. Absolutely NO ONE did. One too many zeros were always attached and I just knew in reality we couldn’t afford it. So I put dreamland aside and tried to come up with a compromise with Matt, my husband-to-be. I’ve heard some success stories with hiring novice photographers but I was a little weary as we posted our add on an online classifieds web tool. It was actually fun getting the emails back. A lot of them totally disregarded our very clear budget and continued to bombared our inbox with outrageous prices, but some of them were legitimte, just not our style. As we narrowed down the list, deleting the ineligables along the way, we happened upon a photographer named David Peacock. It turns out he was a professional branching out into the world of wedding photography. We struck up a conversation and it worked out perfectly. In mid October Matt and I travelled to my Maid of Honour’s home (which is a gorgeous berry farm) and had fun with engagement photos!

Here are a few of our favourites.

So don’t hesitate to take a risk and see who might be willing to scratch your back if you scratch theirs.

I find that I have so many ideas in my head I can’t get them out fast enough. I guess I should see a pattern as this happens in my every day life (mostly when I speak), but for the wedding I thought it would magically all come together. Initially after the engagement, Matt and I sat down and had a brainstorming session in a local park. We shared one of those tiny roundabouts made for much smaller bums than ours, a notebook and a pen. I had been keeping a journal of anything I found inspiring, especially event related, so we found a blank page and I furiously wrote away. We talked about doing something vintage, something unique, something very nontraditional. We outlined food, decor, a possible venue and more and it seemed like we had it all worked out. I spent HOURS and HOURS ploughing through blogs and before I knew it, I was so confused.

As I’m sure you’re probably feeling, reading a blog and all, there’s a lot of inspiration out there. It’s hard not to get excited about the beautiful images and stunning DIY transformations out there. I can’t get enough and every time I manage to catch up I add about three more blogs to my list. One thing that helped ground me was seeing pattern in the posts I really enjoyed. Slowly but surely I found myself gravitating towards a wedding that was simple, involved nature, vintage, was very DIY and (hopefully) stylish.

Here’s a tip. Create a folder on your hard drive for ANYTHING that inspires you. Trust me, it’s best to get yourself organized from the get-go or else you’ll get lost in images and inspiration again! Because I blog I started with a folder called blogspiration and I save every image with the name of the blog first and the reason I saved it second. For example,

creativeoddsnends.followthebridefeature

As your folder builds you’ll start to literally see your wedding elements come to life. If you’re like me, (I’m a visual learner) physically seeing it in helps me learn and made me feel like I had a better grasp on what I was attempting to accomplish.

Don’t forget to branch out. Some of my favourite blogs are not wedding related but are constant sources of inspiration.

Good luck!