for-the-butterfly-girls &laquo; WordPress.com Tag Feed http://en.wordpress.com/tag/for-the-butterfly-girls/ Feed of posts on WordPress.com tagged "for-the-butterfly-girls" Thu, 23 May 2013 17:15:52 +0000 http://en.wordpress.com/tags/ en <![CDATA[For The Butterfly Girls..]]> http://sugarandspicewithabite.wordpress.com/2012/02/23/for-the-butterfly-girls/ Thu, 23 Feb 2012 02:06:00 +0000 passionsplea http://sugarandspicewithabite.wordpress.com/2012/02/23/for-the-butterfly-girls/ I’m just broken for now. I feel alone again and so I am. All I long for is warm arms wrapped around me tight and being held. I want to have hushed tone conversations . Quietly so it does not interrupt our inner peace. I sleep alone and long to be held. I think my thoughts and do not express them to any because there are none but me. And me is totally broken. I’m waiting once again for the one because I’m tired of searching. I just want to wait this one out. Please let me just wait this one out. I want to cry. I want to break down. I want to scream and not stop but I no longer go through the getting over process because I’m numb. I feel heart-sick and wanting so I’m just waiting. I simply am. There is no emotion.I don’t know what to feel because I only know what I want to feel and even the want escapes me. What do I want? Well I have no idea. But I know what I don’t want; To feel broken,sad,alone, misunderstood on to many levels to count, unloved, lied to, to be told that you feel such and such and you do not, to be a pawn in your game and not the queen. That is what I don’t want and that I only know because I’ve received it. I’ve never been a queen to any man but his played with pawn to be tossed aside.Watching on as someone else is there. I feel like a butterfly sometimes. There beautiful yes but they move from place to place and their wings fade with each move till they are broken dead lying on the ground and some so few wonder what happened to the butterfly.I secretly wonder what happened. The butterflies cant live in a glass house else she would not see the flowers or feel the warm sun. So she feels life and lives life and dies a little day by day. She dies a little day by day. I’m tired, tired of searching and searching.. I guess I’m in a cocoon stage. Maybe I will get to that stage of wings unfurled. I want my soul mate and my inner soul screams for him daily but my outer self  shows no emotion. Because my road has stopped at a great wall and I have no idea how to scale it. My arms beat at the wall and my voice raises high. The wall only seems to jeer at me and no one can see, hear or acknowledge me. I’m sick of trying. But I’m addicted to love but how can I be when I am alone and feel like any man who has ever stepped on my path only feigned said love. I guess I’m more addicted to giving this love and feeling this love for someone. If I were truly loved than I would not be alone. My arms hurt and my throat is sore from screaming. I only know what I want to feel and even that eludes me..So I’m just stuck here at the wall..Tear stained bruised and bleeding..Check-mate….

Fly away butterfly…

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