Here is an awesome video by DJ Steve Porter, called “Press Hop” featuring various memorable sports press conferences.

Once the age of 40 hits home many of us experience differences in the body. Dry skin being one of the popular ones.

Ginseng nourishing cream not only alleviates the dry skin it actually feeds the thin skin under the eyes combating the dryness.

If you have reached 40 why not write to us and let us know what changes you have seen with your body.

Thanks Dorothy Parker!

In youth, it was a way I had
   To do my best to please,
And change, with every passing lad,
   To suit his theories.

But now I know the things I know,
   And do the things I do;
And if you do not like me so,
   To hell, my love, with you!

Let me begin by saying that the current versions of ObamaCare don’t have a single death panel.

It’s more like 111 separate death panels.

Some of the names  and acronyms of the dozens and dozens of bureaucracies are undoubtedly different under the new iteration of socialized medicine, but here’s a snapshot of your new health care system if Democrats get their way:

The Senate version is 2,075 pages of fun, I hear.  Nobody understands it.  And nobody is going to end up getting a chance to read it by the time it gets voted on.

If you thought that there was going to be any kind of transparency or accountability – or even honesty – from the Obama administration – you need to stop smoking your crack pipe.

This latest event in the march toward socialized medicine reminds me of the case of Barbara Wagner.  In Oregon, which has “universal coverage” through the state, she was abandoned to die by a system that would not pay for her cancer treatment, but offered to pay for her euthanasia.

Only this time, the government wants to deny treatment on the other side of the cancer diagnosis.

IBD Editorials

Rationing’s First Step

Health Care: A government task force has decided that women need fewer mammograms and later in life. Shouldn’t that be between patient and physician? We have seen the future of health care, and it doesn’t work.

We have warned repeatedly that the net results of health care bills before Congress will be higher demand, fewer doctors, more cost control, all leading to rationing.  New recommendations issued by the U.S. Preventive Services Task Force (USPSTF) regarding breast cancer and the necessity for early and frequent mammograms do not convince us otherwise.

Just six months ago, the panel, which works under the Health and Human Services Department as a “best practices” study group, was shouting its concern about a Centers for Disease Control and Prevention study showing a 1% drop in the number of women regularly undergoing such screening and prevention.

The task force was saying that women older than 40 should get a mammogram every one to two years. It found that frequent screening lowered death rates from breast cancer mostly for women ages 50 to 69. But that was then, and this is now.

“We’re not saying women shouldn’t get screened. Screening does save lives,” Diana Petiti, task force vice chairman, said of the recommendations published Tuesday in Annals of Internal Medicine. “But we are recommending against routine screening.”

Now the panel recommends that women in their 40s stop having routine annual mammograms and that older women should cut back to every two years. The concern allegedly is that too frequent testing can result in increased anxiety, false positives, unneeded follow-up tests and possibly disfiguring biopsies.  Preventing breast cancer and saving lives almost get lost in the new analysis.

“I have a particular concern in this case about who was involved in this task force,” says Rep. Charles Boustany, R-La., who was a heart surgeon in private life. “There are no surgeons or oncologists who deal directly with breast cancer or even radiologists. … I’ve seen far too many young women develop late-stage breast cancer because they didn’t have adequate screening.”

Little, if anything, has happened medically in the last six months to cause such a shift. A lot, however, has happened politically as a health care overhaul has limped forward on life support. The Congressional Budget Office has been busy pricing these various bills, a process that includes screening and prevention.

As we have warned, the growing emphasis seems to be on cost containment rather than quality of care. About 39 million women undergo mammograms each year in America, costing the health care system more than $5 billion.

“The American Cancer Society continues to recommend annual screening using mammography and clinical breast examination for all women beginning at age 40,” says Otis Brawley, its chief medical officer. “Our experts make this recommendation having reviewed virtually all the same data reviewed by the USPSTF, but also additional data that the USPSTF did not consider.”

Daniel Kopans, a radiology professor at Harvard Medical School, says: “Tens of thousands of lives are being saved by mammography screening, and those idiots want to do away with it. It’s crazy — unethical, really.”

This, sadly, appears to be the future of medicine under government-run health care. Aside from taxes on insurers, providers and device manufacturers, we’ll be up to our eyeballs in cost-effectiveness boards that will decide who gets what tests and treatments, when and if. These are only recommendations for now, but they are the shape of things to come.

An IBD/TIPP poll found that 45% of medical doctors would consider retiring if the Congressional health care “reform” passes.  Given the fact that an increasing shortage of doctors is already one of the chief burdens in providing health care, this exodus would amount to a catastrophe that our health system would never recover from.

In Canada, the chronic doctor shortage has been bad enough that patients literally have to sign up for a lottery in order to have a chance to “win” a primary care physician.  But now we are learning that overwhelmed Canadian doctors are using a lottery of their own to dump patients.

Why on earth would anyone want this for America?

The Obama administration is preparing the health delivery system to implement the philosophy of Obama advisers such as Robert Reich, Ezekiel Emanuel, and Cass Sunstein, which can be easily summarized with the quote:

“It’s too expensive…so we’re going to let you die.”

Robert Reich’s words in context only make the hateful idea sound even more hateful:

And by the way, we’re going to have to, if you’re very old, we’re not going to give you all that technology and all those drugs for the last couple of years of your life to keep you maybe going for another couple of months. It’s too expensive…so we’re going to let you die.”

Then there are the words of Obama’s Regulatory Czar, Cass Sunstein, who wrote:

“I urge that the government should indeed focus on life-years rather than lives. A program that saves young people produces more welfare than one that saves old people.”

And Rahm Emanuel’s brother Ezekiel, whom Obama appointed as his OMB health policy adviser in addition to selecting him to serve on the Federal Council on Comparative Effectiveness Research wrote:

“When implemented, the Complete Lives system produces a priority curve on which individuals aged between roughly 15 and 40 years get the most substantial chance, whereas the youngest and oldest people get chances that are attenuated… The Complete Lives system justifies preference to younger people because of priority to the worst-off rather than instrumental value.”

“Attenuated” means, “to make thin; to weaken or reduce in force, intensity, effect, quantity, or value.”  Attenuated care would be reduced or lessened care.  Dare I say it, in this context it clearly means, “rationed care.”

And Obama himself told a woman who wanted to keep her aging mother alive:

“At least we can let doctors know — and your mom know — that you know what, maybe this isn’t going to help. Maybe you’re better off, uhh, not having the surgery, but, uhh, taking the painkiller.”

YOU take the painkiller rather than have that lifesaving surgery, Barry Hussein.  And why don’t you insist that Michelle and your two daughters take the pill rather than have that lifesaving surgery, too?  Just to be like all the “little people” out there.

But of course that’s not going to happen.  Rather, Democrats have now exempted themselves from 11 separate amendments that would have required them to have the same ObamaCare that they want to force everyone else to have.

You can understand why they would do so, given the promises that the system will be worse than terrible, and due to the fact that even a complete idiot who looks around and sees how horribly the administration has managed the H1N1 vaccine situation can recognize that taking on 1/6th of the economy would be beyond catastrophic.  I mean, heck, if I were a Democrat, I’d be sure to exempt myself from this monstrosity too, lest MY family members fall under the coming steamroller.

This “recommendation” of reducing mammographies isn’t mandatory now, but that’s because the government hasn’t usurped the health care system yet.  You just wait a decade from now, when the government runs everything, and soaring deficits force them to start cutting costs.

Hello everyone,

On this start to a new week I want to help start you off on the right foot and wish you a happy Sunday and a great week ahead.  Sunday, the fresh start we get once a week. Certainly things can carry over from week to week but I feel that personally as I grow into my thirties I need to separate and recommit, reaffirm and reload…etc…etc.. Sunday is the obvious day to do this because its the first day of the week, its the day before having to go back to work, its the day I can choose to spend time in worship and/or reflection.  I have the opportunity to admit my shortcomings of the week before and at the very least attempt to steer clear of them in the weeks ahead.  I can also review on the positives and be thankful and pray and look forward to future happy moments.

Life is resplendent of such reflective events.  They are not always just quiet moments but times of celebrations as well. Yesterday my parents celebrated their 40th wedding anniversary. A truly monumental milestone in today’s culture as more and more marriages fail but here I must stress that my parents journey together does not end at such a milestone. We do not celebrate and say, “Here’s to the end of the road.” Certainly not!  Even more so in this day and age when people have the ability to live well into their hundreds we raised our glasses and toasted, “To another 40 years!”

So my friends I will tell you what I advise myself every week:  Don’t get caught up in the past.  No matter how rose color and scented those sweet memories are painted in your brain or how haunting a past error or tragedy may be to you.  At the same time honor what had come before in your life with careful reflection and use such time to look ahead and hope for brighter days for they surely will find you if you go looking for them.  Lastly age is but a thing.  Life is not about wear and tear on the body but the journey you make during your time on earth.  Life in general is a miracle and therefore so is your time on this earth.

Have a good week,

Matt Thompson

The third in the series of cartoons celebrating the 40th Anniversary of Sesame Street.

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Continuation of the series (see here for number 1) to honor Sesame Street’s 40th Anniversary.

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I am working on a few different cartoons to “celebrate” Sesame Street turning 40. Because after 40 everything turns to crap.

Looks like I am not the only one with Sesame Street cartoons this week.  Check out Agent-X and Spud Comics for more.

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Just nine days away, there is still time to attend this wonderful event!  Tableau is held by International Furnishings and Design Association at the Scottsdale Plaza Resort in Scottsdale, AZ.  All proceeds go to support Ryan House (see previous post for more info).   Here is what you get for your support:

Public Preview/Day Event 10 a.m. to 3 p.m. 11/14/09:  A chance to view approximately 18 over-the-top, lavish tablescapes by some of the Valley’s best designers!  Do you need ideas for your holiday tables?  Do you want to support a local nonprofit?  Then come on down!  The tables are highly secret and will be a surprise to all.  Only $25 per person with a chance to enter a raffle to win fabulous prizes.  Here is an award-winning example from last year:

Kaleidoscope - Best Use of Color by Adrienne Hart & Maggie Anderson of H2Originals

If  you want even more fun, join the festivities in the evening!  For $150, you will get to view all the tables, dine at one of them, enjoy a fun Monte Carlo night of playing games casino style, and another chance to win great raffle prizes.   Additionally, there will be a Hollywood glam type of fashion show–not kitschy Hollywood,  but really truly glamorous vintage gowns and dresses will be modeled.   Fashion by Robert Black will be presenting this sophisticated fashion show.  Here is a dress from his extensive vintage collection:

Madame Gres White Silk Crepe Dress - circa 1950s

If you want day event tickets, you may contact me directly.  However, the easiest way is to go to IFDA’s dedicated website, www.ifdatableau.com.  Click on the “Attend Tableau” button and it will walk you through the steps to attend either the day event or evening event.

Sponsors of this wonderful event include:  Arizona Foothills Magazine, Sources & Design, Forty, Rustic Stuff,  Repps, Fashion by Robert Black, Ford/Robert Black Agency AZ, Bed, Bath & Beyond, Scott Sandler Photographic, Southern Wine & Spirits of Arizona,  Steinway of Phoenix, Inside/Out, Dunn-Edwards, EuroDream Kitchens, and The Cookson Company.

Be sure to support these wonderful companies!

All about me that you So wanted to know. Really, I am just worn out from a long day yesterday and I don’t feel like discussing anything Drelated today. It happens.

Thanks to Lee Ann, Hannah, Chris, Allison, Sarah, Jenny and Karen for allowing us to get to know them just a bit more. Always interesting reads.

1. Do you like bleu cheese? Dressing but Only with my wings. I don’t like the big chunks like my niece, since passed, but I always think of her when I see a huge chunk. Thanks Boo.

2. Have you ever smoked? Yes. Sadly still working on that quitting for good thing that hangs over me.

3. Do you own a gun? No. But I did enjoy target practice with my dad’s old 12 gauge one year. The boys encouraged me, what’s a girl to do. I was coined Annie Oakley for the day, so, there’s that.

4. Favorite type of food? Fresh. Believe it or not, salad. I love me a good fresh salad.

5. Favorite type of music? Rock, especially Classic. I Love my Led.

6. What do you think of hot dogs? July 4th.

7. Favorite Christmas movie? Not sure why and sadly it’s on VHS….a must watch on Christmas Day for me. “The Night They Saved Christmas.” The acting is horrific but I watch it every year. Nostalgia is good.

8. What do you prefer to drink in the morning? Diet Mountain Dew. It’s my get up and go juice.

9. Can you do push ups? With Mr. Smiley? Yes. Against the wall? Yes. The “correct” way, probably not.

10. What’s your favorite piece of jewelry? A necklace with a beautiful blue round dangly thing.

11. Favorite hobby? Trying to create in Photoshop.

12. Do you have A.D.D.? Probably.

13. Do you wear glasses/contacts? Yup.

14. Middle name? Ann.

15. Name 3 thoughts at this exact moment: Only three? Gosh. I’m tired. I need a nap. No, I need to sleep, for a week. I need a vacation. Crap, I have no money. Uh….see number 12.

16. Name 3 drinks you regularly drink: Diet Mountain Dew, water, Celestial teas.

17. Current worry? Bills.

18. Current hate right now? Bills.

19. Favorite place to be? Within the world a great book can bring me.

20. How did you bring in the new year? Uh, don’t recall so I probably did nothing.

21. Someplace you’d like to go? Africa.

22. Name three people who will complete this. No idea.

23. Do you own slippers? Sure do. Pink with pink hearts. I have jammie pants to match. Working from home Rocks.

24. What color shirt are you wearing? Black.

25. Do you like sleeping on satin sheets? Not anymore.

26. Can you whistle? Yes.

27. Where are you now? Sitting in a chair in front of my computer.

28. Would you be a pirate? Is Johnny Depp going to be there?

29. What songs do you sing in the shower? Randomness.

30. Favorite girl’s name? Kayla Marie

31. Favorite boy’s name? Wow, I just don’t know. Or can’t decide.

32. What is in your pocket right now? Cell phone.

33. Last thing that made you laugh? Some things can be fun.

34. What vehicle do you drive? Black ‘00 Hyundai Elantra. She be costin’ me money in her old age.

35. Worst injury you’ve ever had? Fractured, broken, jammed and sprained left middle finger. Back in the day of my gymnastics obsession.

36. Do you love where you live? Nope.

37. How many TVs do you have in your house? One, old, worn out ‘89 Hitachi. Sad, so sad.

38. How many computers do you have in your house? One.

39. If you changed your job, what would it be? Graphic Designer.

40. If you were granted three wishes, what would they be? A cure for Diabetes, money to adopt an elephant and/or horse & more money to travel.

Forty Happy Birthday “Over the Hill” Theater Card by catherinesherman

I don’t think you can imagine forty as a child, certainly not enough to get your head round actually being that age.

I can remember working out how old I was going to be at the Millenium & being absolutely positive that I would be married with kids by then….(.says the girl still single and childless !)

My Aunt died of ovarian cancer back in 1986 and She left us with the best advice for life :

Dance to the beat of your drum, & never worry should somebody else not like the beat.

I took it to heart. I continually listen to my own beat, I dance to my own rhythm.

My brother and I were brought up to believe we could achieve anything we set our minds too. We weren’t given false hopes in our endeavours, I think we realised fairly quickly that in life you can’t be good at everything. But we were encouraged to have dreams whilst keeping our feet on the floor. (A Yorkshire family is good for making sure you don’t get too big for your boots!)

But life has a way of throwing you curve balls every now & then. I certainly didn’t expect, if I ever thought of adulthood, of being single for most of it. I have caught every ball though & did the best I could with it.

I hope you’re good at catch, too.

Somehow, on my 39th birthday this past July, a clock started ticking.  I remembered that I had stated some years ago that if I didn’t have my life together by the time I was 40, I would find the nearest bridge…  I see 40 as a magic age, when all the mistakes of adulthood thus far have been reckoned with, corrected, accepted, dealt with.  But here I am, less than a year away, and life is a muddy puddle of problems, fears, broken relationships.

So I started a mission, preparing a plan to be where I promised myself I had to be by next July.  I began by making a major decision, one that entails difficult disentaglements.  I will, I must, I know, move out of the state.  I don’t belong where I am now, had never intended to be here as long as I have.  Next, as a necessity to step one, I had to think about my “career”.  I’m in my ninth year as a teacher, though not in one arena.  I’ve failed so far to make a career of it, instead stockpiling a host of negative experiences that I’ve determined to use as a springboard for personal growth, finally taking responsibility for the part I’ve played in my backward motion from college instructor to high school English teacher, which has meant, among other things, a formidable loss of salary.  Then too, there has been much more to gain from those experiences; I’ve learned a lot from them, given much of myself to children in need, and have gotten back so much more than I gave.  My daughter, for example, not born to me, but chosen from the swell of troubled lives I minister to in whatever little way I’m able every day.

Of necessity then, I’m considering new possibilities.  I’ve researched a new career in book publishing, and found this possibility a good match, one that excites and energizes me.  Career changes are tricky business, so I’ve considered advancing in my already established career, which has meant deciding to finally finish my master’s thesis, which could take me “backward” again to teaching in a community college setting.  I know that for all my writing prowess, business language escapes me, and I am incapable of writing and formatting a decent cover letter and resume.  Forget about the CV.  More research…I have to hire someone to do this for me…

There is more, of course.  The REALLY difficult stuff of disentangling broken relationships, deciding which are irreparable, which are worth a little or a lot of working on, which to maintain.  Sadly, of the irreparable is my relationship with my mother.  Difficult to disconnect, and painful to boot.  But necessary.  There’s only one to work on, and that one will require deep soul-searching, steeling myself for the possibility that there will be an end point to the work, at which time I’ll suffer another disconnect.  Yet, happily, most fall into the maintenance category, and these are very many.  Moving out of the state, too, will mean reconnecting with a very many good, sustaining friendships.

Still more.  A health issue that has troubled me all my life, and has been particularly difficult to overcome in the past ten years: depression.  I can’t navigate this one at all, it seems, and it has, of course, been the source of terrible dysfunction and difficulty.  How to figure out how to keep that one from standing in my way? 

I hope that I’m not overwhelming myself.  I’m rushing headlong, every day, to a state of being I promised myself a lifetime ago…  Forty is coming.  I hope to meet it with a clear head and a keen eye, self-aware and self-sustained.  I know there is no panacea.  I know that every experience lives in the heart, under the skin, becomes flesh and bone.  I hope, above all, that these will be a platform of strength, of growth, of opportunity.

Random Sketch of a 40…  Colored in Photoshop right quick.

]]> http://ravelyn.wordpress.com/2009/09/17/forteczny-pierscien-wokol-poznania/ Thu, 17 Sep 2009 19:16:00 +0000 ravelyn http://ravelyn.wordpress.com/2009/09/17/forteczny-pierscien-wokol-poznania/

Forteczny Pierścień Wokół Poznania, który ostatnio udało mi się opracować, znajduje się pod TYM LINKIEM.

Z tego miejsca przepraszam również za brak nowych postów, niebawem powinny pojawić się nowe

Pozdrawiam,

Martyna

I was never one to be obsessed about age—-it’s just a number, you’re as old as you feel, that kind of crap.

And to be honest, in some ways, it’s not my pending birthday that’s upsetting me. I am absolutely aware that there will be no difference between the me of next Monday night and the me of Tuesday morning.

Yet, the fortieth is bothering me for two reasons:

1. Because other people see forty as old. And they tell me that. I suppose I’ve been blessed in the past as I’m rather “young looking,” so people have always assumed I’m younger than I am. But in the last year (since being back in America—-which may or may not be a coincidence), younger people seem to tell me (directly or indirectly) that I’m old. In fact even my doctor told me that when she made me get all these tests simply because of my age. The fact that I have also lost two relationships in the last few years makes the reality that I’m now seen as an “older” woman depresses me. (Hands up, Mr Intense Ex was slightly younger than me and has replaced me with an even younger woman.) The fact that I have also lost my dog, which is probably the closest I’ll come to feeling like a mother, also makes me feel old. I know women after forty can have children…I know Courtney Cox says “Forty is the new thirty”…but you know what, thinking of having to say “I’m forty” to someone just makes me feel old.

2. However, I do think number 1 would bother me a lot less if I didn’t have number 2 which is just the fact that I am unhappy with my life. I didn’t have big plans for what I wanted to be when I was 40. But you know what, I didn’t want to be this, here, how and what my life is now.

If “you’re only as old as you feel” is true, the problem is I feel old. In the last year, I have aged so much. I can see it on my face, in my eyes, when I look in the mirror. In fact, I feel older than forty. I just feel old. I feel it today when I’m still “only” 39. I guess that’s what is really bothering me. I know tons of men and women in their forties, fifties and even sixties who are not “past it,” who are sexy and interesting and fun. The problem is I’m not those things right now. It has nothing to do with my age, it has to do with my situation and my state of mind. I’m not sure how to change my situation or state of mind right now, but I can’t imagine that seeing forty candles next week is going to help much.

I am feeling sorry for myself again, I know. I need to get a grip because I have no doubt next week, I will have to deal with at least one “40th birthday” gag, undoubtedly from my mother. Ha, fucking, ha.

Well, this is my first entry. I have had blogs before but they were always for business or for a defined purpose. This one, however, is just for me and anyone who can relate to what I post here. I am really excited about writing just for me. I have found that writing or journaling is soothing and cathartic. Journaling was definitely a life saver for me when I was going through my divorce – that was almost five years ago now. After getting through that trying time in my life I thought I had got it all figured out – surprise. Apparently, I only got it figured out to that point, then life throws more things into your path to figure out. Generally, I enjoy such a challenge but at forty one I was hoping to start some of the free sailing through life, that hasn’t been the case for the past year so here I am again, using the pen per se to help me through. Hopefully, I can find some kindred spirits out here in cyber-space that can give me their insight and experience.

My biggest challenge right now is trying to figure out what to do with myself now that my daughter is twenty and off to school. I didn’t realize it until most recently that I defined myself by my work and my child.  Since I left Corporate America, maybe this is a stretch since I am from small town USA, but nonetheless my career was as close to Corporate America as one can come in such a small town, to start my own business (which didn’t turn out exactly as I had envisioned it) and sent my daughter off to college I find that I don’t know what to do with myself. My life is no longer consumed with being a parent or striving for that next big promotion – raise. What now? Uggh!!!

Maybe I should get a hobby, right? The problem with that is I don’t know what I would want to do. I never had a problem with trying something new, if you would take a look at my resume you can see how true that is, but I never really focused on “fun” in my life. So what is fun to do? I took up golfing a few years ago and that is fun, but I have lost some of my enthusiasm for that as well and it is an expensive “hobby”. I have run in a few races after my divorce and that was exciting, even won a few trophies, maybe I will start running again, at least until the snow starts to fall.  I know I must be missing something. What can one do for fun on a limited budget, living in small town USA where the nearest city is approximately three hours away? Or how do you figure out what is fun if you have no idea?

I woke up this morning wanting to make lists, wanting to start school, and wanting to get things done. It then occurred to me that I will be completely counterproductive if I have all these grand plans to make things happen but no notion or direction toward how to actually accomplish them.

So today I guess I’ll be sifting through the papers downstairs. I am going to try and finish my reading cards– although I’m not sure how happy I’ll be re-submerging myself in the hazy medical green fog of lobotomies and Big-boobed Nurse. I might try making lists: what I need for school, what I have for school, what I need to do in order to be ready for school, what I should be doing so I don’t suck when I go back to school.

I’m a smidgeon excited.

Here’s the downside, the only one that I can see.

I had a dream last night that life flew by.
I woke up and discovered what the hell, that’s not a dream, really.
In my dream, I texted Caitlin in September, and the next thing I knew, it was her birthday in November. And I hadn’t talked to her in all the time in between. Dumb.
Not going to happen, either.

It reminded me of “Marley & Me.” The dream did: where at the beginning John and Jenny are twenty-ish and by the end they’re in their forties. All that time vanished in the span of two hours. Not even.

What if that happens to me? Life rocketing by so fast that all I catch of it is a blur? What if I waste it? What if I mess it up? What if I can’t fix my mistakes, or leave a friend when they need me, or end up giving up something I love without knowing it?

What if I don’t live life, and never even know the difference?

Now that I’ve somewhat emerged from the deepest greenest part of the funk that has been the ongoing Mid Life Review aka The Grand Mal Mid Life Crisis, I thought I’d be back to my old self, calling society and hypocrites on their bullshit with a little piss, some vinegar and a dose of humor. 

But I’m not quite back to myself yet.  I’m still tired. Some of it is because I’ve been sick and some of it is the hangover of life.

At some point, we have to drop the baggage that we’ve collected throughout our lives.  That’s the secret or answer to questions that every one seeks, isn’t it?  How do we put the baggage down?  Shrinks, life coaches, friends: do any of them help us to leave our past in its proper place, in history?  Not easily. 

 Though I have realized that corners of my life are just that, corners that I don’t go into very often.  Scars that define my personality, my values and my desires. Nothing more than scenes and acts from earlier plays.  They only have the power to influence the present if I allow them to  or encourage their power.  It’s the same for every one but so difficult to see because we live in our heads with these gremlins.  We don’t know that every one on the planet has gremlins because we don’t ask and they don’t tell.  Projecting the perfect reality is the goal until our realities look like the picture we paint.

But, on the other hand, I can’t help but wonder.  Was  the shrink I went to right?  Have a lived with post traumatic stress for more than half my life?  It’s a rhetorical question.  I know that I have.  The fear, the ghosts of a summer twenty years ago when the ground quaked under my feet.  Shame, fear and distrust, my constant companions spurred self doubt that influenced all my decisions. 

For all of us, it’s about the road not taken, but the questions remain, if I’d chosen my paths with confidence instead of fear.  If my choices weren’t made because I picked the paths that weren’t too daunting, where would I be today?

Tomorrow!  Entertaining rants on adult acne and wrinkles and recent efforts to teach my ass to defy gravity.