Here is a great story of how Mr Zappa had a tendancy to reduce musicians with the wrong attitude to the humble place they should have been in the first place. Excellent.

Bobby Owsinski’s Blog: Frank Zappa And The Black Page.

I’d just like to start off by noting that today is Saint Andrews day, for those who are unaware. He is the patron Saint of Scotland….and Greece, Ukraine, Russia and Romania nonetheless. But seeing as i’m Scottish i had planned on making a special Scottish artists themed Monday List. But i promised a moustache review last week so i’m sticking with that theme and i’ll get a Scottish artists post in before the end of the year, i’ll make sure it’s a big post too. That should more than make up for the delay in my promised Scottish themed post. As i’ve said many times before there is so much musical talent in this country, some heard and some unheard.

But on to this weeks list and a small review of my 5 days living with a moustache.

*NOTE* All entries on this weeks list will have their picture posted next to them. For facial hair comparison purposes more than anything else i suppose.

Before i begin the countdown i’ll clear something up for anyone who is offended by the exclusion of Freddie Mercury, i deliberately left him out because he is the King of Taches and would out-tache any contenders to the throne too easily.

At number one is the late Frank Zappa, known as much for his facial fuzz as his whacked out freaky jazz rock compositions. Number two is Spinal Tap and their bassist with the mostest Derek Smalls. Number three is the lanky gothic legend, the dapper devil himself, Nick Cave. Boogie-ing his way on in at number four is the actual Devil, Jess “The Devil” Hughes and his amazing ,sexual innuendo loving band the Eagles of Death Metal. At number five the psychedelic moustachioed Captain Beefheart. Number six? One of my favourite bands ever who just happen to contain the moustache sporting musical chameleon that is Jesse F Keeler. Sleazing they’re way in to number seven are The Teenagers (check out their remix of Mer Du Japon, it’s late night heaven), led by Quentin Delafon. Number eight are a band who at one point clearly got together and said lets ALL grow moustaches at the same time, The Beatles. Not their biggest fan but respect for the joint tache venture. Lagging in at number nine is Weezer and Rivers Cuomo’s  “different” period he went through when he decided to spring a moustache upon us all. Finally at number 10 is the frankly baffling attempt by The Killers frontman Brandon Flowers to be taken seriously. “Hey, look i have a tache!” Ok Brandon i can see that but that doesn’t mean your band will ever have more than one good album. We all know what one it is, Hot Fuss of course. But the lead single from their second effort promised so much more than was actually delivered and for that reason we’ll include “When You Were Young” and Brandon at the tail end of the Tache Masters list.

Tache Masters
—————
MP3s

1. MP3:  Frank Zappa – Flower Punk

2. MP3:  Spinal Tap – Big Bottom

3. MP3:  Nick Cave – Red Right Hand

4. MP3:  Eagles Of Death Metal – I Only Want You

5. MP3:  Captain Beefheart and His Magic Band – Diddy Wah Diddy

6. MP3:  Death From Above 1979 – Turn It Out

7. MP3:  The Teenagers – Starlett Johansson

8. MP3:  The Beatles – Let It Be

9. MP3;  Weezer – (If You Are Wondering If I Want You To) I Want You To

10. MP3:  The Killers – When You Were Young

And special bonus videos, one for the Tache King (ironically a video where he doesn’t have his famous moustache) and one dedicated to a Mr Moustache himself….

VIDEO: Nirvana – Mr Moustache

VIDEO: Queen – Crazy Little Thing Called Love

And a few bonus MP3s for you to download, believe me these 4 songs are ALL worth downloading. The song by Moustache of Insanity is probably the most random 1 minutes 6 seconds of lyrics you’ll ever hear. The song by Jean Moustache is just sheer sleazy French disco. Pat Cantins song My Lovely Moustache is a gathering of chilled beats and fuzzy mellow bleeps and synth crackles that bring to mind a very stoned version of a certain Richard D James. As for the last track well it’s worth downloading and listening to for the title alone, “Grow Your Own Fucking Moustache, Asshole” indeed. If i was to attempt to describe the song i would be swayed to say “An Angry Hairy Lipped Man Singing About How His Lip Caterpillar Is Better Than Yours”. Or we could just settle for “Orchestral/electronical indie masterpiece with moustache related threats”. Whichever you prefer. Just download all 4 and have your own little Moustache Related Music Session.

Moustache Of Insanity. Clearly the more insane one is in the green shirt.

MP3: Moustache of Insanity – Imagine

Jean Moustache (apparently)

MP3: Jean Moustache – Vodka Champagne

Pat Cantin and his "lovely" moustache.

MP3: Pat Cantin – My Lovely Moustache

The Wet Secrets. There's 5 of them, so you BETTER do as they say and grow your own fucking moustache.

MP3: The Wet Secrets – Grow Your Own Fucking Moustache, Asshole

Now for the Tache Review
——————————

SUNDAY the 22nd: I officially join the Movember club and shave myself a strange breed of moustache/beard. I head round to Andys to see if he’s kept his part of the agreement. He has. He has a handlebar. I’m relieved. I’m not alone in Tacheland. Me, Andy, Chris and Ewan have all agreed to sport our own forms of facial fuzz for this week.

A tache AND a pout!? What was i thinking?!

MONDAY the 23rd: My first day actually venturing outside my comfort zone with this thing on my face. As soon as i leave the house at 7am i feel the cold morning air stiffen my baldy chin, there’s usually a goatee of some sort there. It feels weird without it. I board the bus with my jacket pulled tightly over my mouth and lower part of my face before mumbling my required destination to the bus driver. He looks at me oddly and beckons me onboard. The rest of the journey is secure enough, the bus is pretty empty. I get to my work, take the expected YMCA jokes on the chin (pardon the pun) and open my toolbox.

TUESDAY the 24th: The morning is pretty much a repeat of the previous morning although this time a picture of Lemmy has been stuck to the side of my toolbox. My sister and niece come over to visit after work. My sister Lisa is adamant that she has to take pictures of this ghastly design on my face. She does so. 3 0r 4 times. I cringe in embarrassment for most until i get a picture taken with little Emily and even though i sport this ridiculous thing i can’t help but smile. The pictures from then on in are taken with me in funny/silly mode. Lisa insists she was only taking the pix so she could show Gary (my bro in law) but i know she showed all her friends! Revenge will be mine Lisa, be warned.

The "casual" handlebar and obligatory puzzled look

WEDNESDAY the 25th: I’ve now shaven off the Lemmy-esque side breezer bits of the mosutache beard and i’m down to an almost “normal” version of the handlebar. The journey to work somehow becomes even more awkward as i start to wonder why i’ve even bothered to do this. But an agreement is an agreement and i feel a bit less daft looking when Chris turns up at my place with his very own handlebar effort. I say effort because he’s tried to grow one but its a bit whispy and more like a set of whiskers than a moustache. But at least he’s kept his bumfluff effort unlike some! Andy shaved his off on the Sunday night, he basically only kept it on the Sunday to prove he’d done it then proceeded to shave it off  later that night thinking i’d never know! Cheat. His flatmate Joe stuck him in.

THURSDAY the 26th: My last day of Tache Torture! I’ve shaved off the handlebar bit now and its just a plain old moustache. According to my mum and sister i now resemble an exact replica of my father as a 24 year old. I don’t know whats worse, the fact that they said that or the fact that my dad grew one of these disaster taches out of choice back in the day! Work today is a lot easier, Ewan has returned from holiday and is true to his word. He has a moustache! Some of the friendly abuse is now directed at him. I’m secretly grateful to my shaggy haired friend for sparing me another day as the works focal point of jokes. I’ll buy him a pint later but only on the agreement that its a Guinness and he has to take a huge gulp so he gets a Guinness moustache. I get home on the Thursday and relax knowing that when the morning comes i can finally rid myself of this multi-coloured thing living below my nose.

Words fail me. I can only apologise for any long term damage done to anyone by the viewing of this picture.

FRIDAY the 27th: i rise at 6am and head straight to the bathroom. Hot water, shaving foam, BRAND NEW RAZOR and within 2 minutes it’s gone! I’m free. No more awkward bus journeys, no more “Alright Freddy Mercury” cries in work, no more itchy lip and no more patter from a certain person saying “You actually quite suit that Johnny” in the hope that i’ll keep it. I’m not falling for that one, you know who you are!

I PROMISE I WILL NEVER GROW A MOUSTACHE AGAIN………….UNTIL NEXT MOVEMBER

S.I.T Wolf  X

Here is a great example of TMOI in 1968 challenging listeners regarding the stylistic orientation of their music. Contains some amazing Zappa conducting, rock grooves, jazz visuals, and vocal madness. Zappa’s conducting alludes to ‘high art’, yet his image is that of a rock musician – the combination of which is exactly what makes his music so difficult to classify. Why is there no music like this around today???? I would be interested if there was any difference regarding the extent to which the band could get away with their ‘Art Music’ exploits in other parts of the World. For example during the 1960’s – did they have different sets for the UK, Mainland Europe and the States.

453

“Stupidity has a certain charm – ignorance does not.” – Frank Zappa

Ok, so the video misses the crucial cultural touchstone of the Ed Sullivan introduction and the unforgettable image of a man unable to bend or turn, a man who must have been the inspiration for Supermarionation, the only man on the planet whose demeanor would be unaffected by a baseball bat inserted up his ass.

But I wander from my purpose of extolling the wonders of this performance. Not only do we have an acme of bubble gum pop but purveyed in the spirit of both utter joy and abandon and love of the soaring melody line, the great backup, and yet also the subversiveness of the very existence of singers Flo and Eddie who would end up with great Dada Frank Zappa’s Mothers of Invention singing the Mudshark Arpeggio among other oddities and certain threats to right thinking folks everywhere.

But this video is such a hoot not only for a really fine clean song but Flo (the guy with the trumpet) just seems so timeless in his geeky appeal. And the one really dated element is that never to be seen again frozen wave type haircut on the guitar player. Is that even possible anymore?

How the boys look now (from sixstringplanet.com)

Whenever I’m feeling low (as I do at the moment), Frank Zappa’s cool and reasoned arguments in the face of America’s moral majority (represented by John Lofton) never fails to raise my spirits.

Lezers,

op deze zondagmiddag, terwijl in het Haagse zowaar het zonnetje nog doorbreekt, trekken wij gewoon eens willekeurig 3 nummertjes uit onze collectie. Wij zetten de afspeelknop op ‘random play’ en geven u de eerste 3.

The Beatles – Carol

Elvin Bishop – Fooled Around and Fell In Love

Frank Zappa – Jewish Princess

Yep, yellow snow

This may be a low point in the outdoor blog. 

Why am I writing a blog entitled, of all things, “Don’t you eat that yellow snow”?

It’s a long story.

More yellow snow

WordPress, the lovely host of this blog,  tells you the results of top searches for your blog.  For example, someone could type in “opening the door, walking outside” and that appears as one of the top searches.  This week’s top searches include firewood pile, Ojibway park leafs (?) and the Huron River.  All fine and dandy.  However, recently, a few times one of the top searches for this blog has included the words “yellow snow” and “Don’t you eat that yellow snow”.

Honestly!  Tell me, people, have I ever written six words about yellow snow? Ever? In this whole year?  Why do searchers looking for the elusive yellow snow get to MY blog?  Honestly!

I’m sure some of you know that this is a reference to a Frank Zappa song.  We listened to it at dinner.  Polite dinner music, as you can imagine.  The main refrain is:  “Watch out where those huskies go, and don’t you eat that yellow snow”.  In fact if you’re in the mood for a little Frank Zappa with your blog-reading, do click here.

Anyway, I’ve decided to give some of you blog searchers your due.  You can see some yellow snow.  It may not be huskie-yellow-snow, but it’s bona fide yellow snow.  Get your fill.

This, you yellow snow afficiandos, is the secret behind yellow snow.

Yes.  it’s official.  The yellow snow at this time of year is caused by tannin in leaves seeping into the snow.  Or so I’ve been told. I really am not an official source on the subject.  But it sounded plausible.  You can click here to learn about tannin and determine if you agree.

There is yellow snow everywhere!  Orange snow, yellow snow, brown snow, stained snow.  And there are not that many huskies in the woods, I can assure you.  Not even that many deer.  It’s the tannin.  Take my word for it.

And can we get one more close-up view of the culprit, please?

Le culprit

I have a lot of other more meaningful things I could share with you today.  But they were all indoor adventures.  I’ll bet you’re sorry this in not an indoor/outdoor blog, aren’t you? 

A terrible thing did happen this morning, though.  A very sad thing.  I was headed to Marquette before the first light stained the horizon.  It was pitch dark.  Blacker than black.  The headlights suddenly spotted a white rabbit running crazily across the road and I swerved the car praying not to hear that thump…please, rabbit, don’t…but sure enough the tire thumped against the rabbit.  (However, I looked on the way home and there is no dead rabbit lying in the middle of the road, so it’s hard to say what happened.  Two family members dared to ask if I got out of the car in order to bring home rabbit booya, which is the local name for rabbit stew. I don’t know why these particular family members would ask, considering our mostly-vegetarian status.) In honor of the rabbit we listened to Jefferson Airplane’s White Rabbit.  Go Ask Alice, when she’s 10 feet tall.

Later in the day a white seagull almost crashed into the front window of the car.  At this point I started feeling like a potential mass murderer of white animals.  Fortunately the seagull flew upward at the last minute.

Here ends my Yellow Snow blog. I promise not to write about it again this year.

So, I just got a call from TicketsWest… the Zappa Plays Zappa show for tonight has been “canceled due to inclement weather in California“… boo… no word on a reschedule.  Tickets will be refunded at the place of purchase.

Check out more tour dates below.

~Dan – np: The Swell Season – Strict Joy

Current Tour Dates

• Nov 19, ’09 – Austin, TX – Stubbs Amphitheater
• Nov 20, ’09 – Dallas, TX – House of Blues
• Nov 21, ’09 – Houston, TX – House Of Blues
• Nov 23, ’09 – Albuquerque, NM – Sunshine Theater
• Nov 24, ’09 – Aspen, CO – Belly Up
• Nov 25, ’09 – Boulder, CO – Fox Theatre
• Nov 27, ’09 – Lake Tahoe, NV – Montbleu Resort
• Nov 28, ’09 – Eugene, OR – McDonald Theatre canceled
  
• Nov 29, ’09 – Spokane, WA – Bing Crosby Theater
• Nov 30, ’09 – Bend, OR – Tower Theater
• Dec 01, ’09 – Arcata, CA – Van Duzer Theater
• Dec 02, ’09 – Santa Cruz, CA – Rio Theater
• Jan 3-7, ’10 – Carribbean Ocean – Jam Cruise 2010
• Jan 8, ’10 – Ft. Lauderdale, FL – Revolution Live
• Jan 9, ’10 – Tampa, FL – The Ritz Ybor
• Jan 11, ’10 – Atlanta, GA – Variety Playhouse
• Jan 12, ’10 – Charlotte, NC – Neighborhood Theatre
• Jan 13, ’10 – Raleigh, NC – Lincoln Theatre
• Jan 14, ’10 – Richmond, VA – The Hat Factory
• Jan 15, ’10 – Baltimore, MD – Rams Head Live
• Jan 16, ’10 – Montclair, NJ – Wellmont Theatre

‘The mainstream comes to you, but you have to go to the underground.’ ~Frank Zappa

Funny really how we can hold ourselves back from time to time and not even know it til someone helps to open up a new avenue to set you free. We create our own whipping posts.

Bring it on I say, each challenge a new opportunity to further set myself free.

And appropriate I think, a passionate and most grand version of the Allman Brother’s ‘Whippin Post’ performed by Frank Zappa.

So….go on….stop blaming other people for the stuff that shows up in your life. Take back your power and unleash yourself from the whipping post.

Go on now….and don’t forget to say ‘thank you!’

BB Webb

Captain Beefheart and the Magic Band – Unconditionally Guaranteed (Blue Plate, 1974)

For the most part, critics and fans alike loathe this album. Since I consider myself a little of both when it comes to The Captain (who won’t even claim the album himself), I feel duty-bound to respond to this mass malignment: I think these overly harsh reviews have largely missed the mark and rob its worthy moments of their due.

The reasons seem to be these: everybody loves (or wants to seem cool by claiming to prefer the damn-near inscrutably weird and angular, free-jazz inspired, experimental-blues-rock masterpiece Trout Mask Replica (it really does require a mouthful like that to describe it) and wants more of the same.

Hell, I think it’s a masterpiece myself, but I don’t feel like I completely get the record; I couldn’t exactly justify my opinion, so it’s more of an apprehension–or suspicion–than a true understanding. It’s a brilliant head-scratcher for the most part. In this rare case, and unlike how I look at the seriously out-there music that I can’t wrap my head around, I am comfortable letting the “serious” fans and free-jazz aficionados tell me that the songs I don’t necessarily like or understand are awesome because they are experimental and complicated and unlike anything of their time. Beefheart (born Don Vliet) is on a plane of existence that I can’t board.

I don’t aim to raise Unconditionally Guaranteed aloft at the expense of Trout. But, I have to say that the complexity and disjointedness that make it so compelling to some also make it fairly inaccessible to others. It must be this accessibility–the studied attempt at accessibility clearly undertaken by Beefheart–that bothers the critics and acolytes alike. UG surprises in comparison, given its radio-friendly, pop-blues bent and its open bid for commercial success–and it’s nearly the same line-up as 1969’s Trout. And yet….

There’s something darker behind it: Beefheart’s giving us both what we want and the Middle Finger–not to mention maybe taking the piss out of himself. To those seeking visual proof of the tongue-in-cheekness of this affair, look no further than the inscription under the back-cover photo of Vliet: “Love Over Gold.” What? He places love over gold, but is obviously exploiting love to cash in…?! Just deconstructing the album art tells you plenty about the songs and his attitude towards them. I can’t draw a clear line between insincere sincerity or sincere insincerity in some songs, and given Beefheart’s sometimes lackadaisical delivery, I’m not sure he knew where one ended and the other began.

At any rate, the gambit didn’t pay off, and this grasp at mainstream attention was an anomaly; the new listeners didn’t arrive, and many of the hardcore were turned off by the simple love songs to his wife and the seemingly sappy lyrics and simplistic arrangements of songs like “Magic Be” and intentionally, well, lazy “Lazy Music.” But, I’d put the snaking, trademark slide-guitar-driven “Sugar Bowl”, “Upon the My-O-My,” and “New Electric Ride” alongside anything else in the Captain’s Canon. In short, the good songs are as good as anything he and the band did, if on the shorter, poppier, blues-rock side of their usual muses. The purposely “dumbed-down” tracks, while not up to Beefheart’s snuff, still prove better than, say, the corniest love songs of The Raspberries’ Eric Carmen.

Maybe the critics and diehards would have enjoyed the (new electric) ride more if they’d eased up on the preconceptions and expectations and heeded the word of caution on the front album cover: Check ears and Other Sensory Equipment for Socially Induced Limitations.

Haters of UG would do well to remember that Trout wasn’t popular, either–at least not initially. It was characterized as being too weird and anti-commerical until Radio 1’s John Peel wore the grooves out and it caught fire with those patient enough to dive in and re-listen. Once it became popular, Trout shaped expectations for his future work in a way that almost guaranteed that these fans would shun a more widely palatable album like UG. And, that they did. Beefheart was pretty much damned if he did or didn’t, so I can’t fault him for trying. I am disappointed, though, that he’d divorce himself from it. It does have moments of pure-Beef genius, in an easily digestible, if wryly wrought, package. It deserves some re-listening and kinder reevaluation on its own terms. While not their best work, it certainly isn’t their worst–it’s still Beefheart, if not exactly prime.

No need to kill your china pig–the trivia goodness won’t cost you a cent here at TBTS!

• Captain Beefheart went to high school with fellow awesome weirdo Frank Zappa; he took his name from a B-movie script that he and Zappa wrote, “Captain Beefheart Meets the Grunt People.”
• He made several appearances on Letterman in the 80’s. Letterman generally treated him as if he were some sort of crazed freak (not entirely untrue) and played him for laughs. I like Letterman, and Vliet is a bona fide eccentric, but these are often disrespectful. Credit is due to Dave, though, for his willingness to show his paintings and music videos.

You may be surprised at the scope of this week’s topic because when it comes to Elvis Presley, well nearly everyone’s got an opinion. The iconic nature of Elvis Presley in music and popular culture, has often made him a subject of, or a benchmark, in numerous songs. We launched the show with CALLING ELVIS by Dire Straits. Written by Mark Knopler and released in 1991, the song is about an Elvis fan that can’t believe that Elvis Presley is dead. Based on some of the bizarre ’sightings’ over the years, I fear he is not alone.

A song from one of my favourite films followed: Public Enemy’s groundbreaking FIGHT THE POWER from the soundtrack of DO THE RIGHT THING, directed by Spike Lee in 1989. Like the film, the song broke at a crucial period in America’s struggle with race. Unabashedly political, FIGHT THE POWER was confrontational in the way that great rock has always been. It attacks a whole roster of American icons including Elvis and John Wayne in what amounts to a virtual flag burning. Because who better embodies the American ideal than the King? The song goes so far as to call Elvis racist. I don’t agree with that. But what I do know from the National Archives is that in 1970 Elvis wrote a six-page letter to Richard Nixon asking him to make him a ‘Federal Agent-At-Large’ in the Bureau of Narcotics and Dangerous Drugs. And amongst the gifts that Elvis presented to the then President was a Colt-45 pistol. So what do we make of all this? Maybe only that, like a lot of his countrymen, Elvis was a misguided patriot who defended the nation’s order – an order from which blacks, in particular, had been routinely barred. The irony, of course, is that Elvis was the first artist to successfully blend black and white music: country music and the blues. And didn’t he do it well?

It was time for a change of tone: The very whimsical and wonderful Kirsty McColl with THERE’S A GUY WORKS DOWN THE CHIP SHOP SWEARS HE’S ELVIS. The song made an appearance on the FAMOUS PEOPLE show, but definitely deserved another spin. We followed with Richard Thompson’s FROM GALWAY TO GRACELAND.

Robbie Williams’ ADVERTISING SPACE is a song not only about Elvis but, also, about the price of fame.  Emmylou Harris followed with BOY FROM TUPELO. In case you weren’t aware Elvis was born in Tupelo Mississipi on January 8, 1935. And then it was the great Roy Orbison with HOUND DOG MAN.

Living Colour funked it up with their critique of the tabloids. The song  ELVIS IS DEAD ups the ante with an appearance by Little Richard. Check it out.

We dived into the second hour of the program with Ann Margret singing the title song of the film BYE BYE BIRDIE. Based on the stage musical of the same name, the story was inspired by Elvis Presley being drafted into the US Army in 1957. Jesse Pearson played the role of teen idol Conrad Birdie, whose character’s name is a wordplay on another singer of the era, Conway Twitty.  The film is credited with making Ann-Margret a superstar during the mid-1960s, leading to her appearing with Elvis Presley in Viva Las Vegas in 1964.

A couple of great songs were suggested to me by BayFM’s very own Cowboy Sweetheart, Carrie D. First up, Bap Kennedy with GLADYS & VERNON about Elvis’s parents and the night that Elvis was born. And then it was the great Waylon Jennings with the very entertaining NOBODY KNOWS.

I absolutely adore BLACK VELVET by Allanah Myles and have played that before. But, hey, when a song’s as good as this one it deserves a replay!

U2’s song ELVIS ATE AMERICA illustrates the many personas of Elvis, both good and bad. And then it was the romantically delusional Scouting For Girls with ELVIS ISN’T DEAD: ”Elvis isn’t dead ’cause I heard him on the radio….. and you’re coming back to me.”  Yeah, sure guys.

Time to get serious: First up, Kate Bush with her hit song about Elvis – KING OF THE MOUNTAIN. And then, Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds transported us into a disturbing world with their song about the night that Elvis was born. Elvis was a twin but his brother was still-born. The song is TUPELO from the album THE FIRSTBORN IS DEAD. Here’s the totally mesmerising clip:

John Fogarty likens Elvis to the BIG TRAIN (FROM MEMPHIS). Neil Young reminded us that it’s “better to burn out than to fade away “, with his song MY, MY, HEY HEY.

Another of my faves followed: Cowboy Junkies with BLUE MOON REVISITED, otherwise known as SONG FOR ELVIS. And then it was Paul Simon’s song about travelling to Elvis Presley’s home, GRACELAND, with the Everly Brothers helping out on vocals. Don’t have a clip with the Everlys in it, but you can’t do much better than this concert performance of the song in Zimbabwe. Enjoy.

There was time for a little more mjusic dedicated to Elvis before signing off and what better than ELVIS HAS JUST LEFT THE BUILDING by the one and only Frank Zappa. And, of course, I had to play some of the King himself so we went out with BURNIN’ LOVE. Here’s what all the fuss is about:

Next week’s show will be dedicated to the patron saint of Theme Park, Roy Orbison, who died 21 years ago this December 6. So songs by Roy Orbison, The Travelling Wilburys, duets with Roy and covers of Roy Orbison songs. Anything connected to Roy Orbison qualifies. Personally I can’t wait!

Here’s this week’s playlist:

Photos from the Zappa Plays Zappa show at Stubb’s, in Austin, Texas.

The performance by Zappa et al playing his father, Frank’s music. Check them out if you ever have the opportunity, even if you’re NOT a Zappa fan. Why? Because it will be one of the best musical performances you’ll ever see. Special guest appearance by Eric Johnson. Steve Vai has been known to materialize as well.

As long as we’re talkin’ ’bout words’n-all, I think serious consideration should be given to liquidating the word ‘like’ from the English language.

FREALZ!

Because that bitch is as flexible as a Sarah Palin book-tour schedule, it can be used as a noun, a verb, an adverb, an adjective, a piece of punctuation, a preposition, a particle, a conjunction or interjection!
::: multitasker extaordinaire!! :::

And I’m totally down with all applications – until it comes to the punctuation, particle and conjunction part because those are peeves (in addition to whether or not - stopitstopitstopit!) that drive me seven full Mack truckloads of batshit crazy.

It is, like, SOOOOOO upsetting, you know? I mean, do you, like, get my, like, point?

Ugh.

But in all seriousness (and pay attention, ‘cuz we don’t do that often here at LIAC) – it’s got to stop.

Because, when you get right down to it, overusing the word ‘like’ is the same as faking your tan, artificially pumping your pucker (or other parts ) or bulking up your brats with boatloads of rusk, excess fibers, maltodextrine or MDM.

IT”S FILLER, FOLKS!
::: just say no :::

When their whiteness is too white, the pigment deficient think nothing of full-on fakery.
::: fake what’cha mamma gave ya! :::
When their lips (or butt, boobs or fun-time banana) aren’t exactly luscious, folks don’t think twice about some strategic surgical servicing.
::: New math: You + phony = putzling :::
And when the food industry wants to maximize profits by minimizing the merit and naturalness (yeah, I said it) of their products, they stuff their stock with whatever will lengthen its shelf-life.
::: caveat emptor, kiddies :::

Like is, like, no different.

Because people can’t think of don’t know the right words anymore – because zero significance has been placed on the enormous importance of appropriate word choice – they’ve leached onto ‘like’ and haven’t let go.

But it’s time to read a fucking dictionary, dickweeeds!.
As much as we encourage the silly and stupid, alliterative linguistic logorrhea, asshattery, fucktardeness and all things scientifical – this one we’re serious about.

Like, totally.

Tomorrow.

Why don’t you listen to this while you wait

Disclaimer: I write for Thermal And A Quarter. But despite my own leanings, I cannot take seriously any article on the Indian rock music scene that dwells in the era of imitative cover performances, or performances of so-called originals that are so totally “inspired” by popular covers that they are no different from them at all. That stuff is so ten years ago. Maybe twenty. Without any vintage value whatsoever.

The “fascinating article” (by Arjun S Ravi on MTV Iggy) that Cicatrix speaks of in Sepia Mutiny reads like ‘The Best of RSJ (1992-1999), with Notable Exceptions’. It’s all been documented before with elan and sincerity by Amit Saigal. Today, it’s dated. Because it casually ignores a significant slice of Indian rock history — the independent music scene in Bangalore, which was where the really surprising stuff started to emerge from the mothballed closet in the late 1990s. In businesspeak, this era was when Indian rock music sought to “differentiate” itself. Not through marketing strategy (a la Parikrama et al which still have nothing to offer the discerning music fan) but through inventiveness, performance and startling creative energy. Ergo, I am not sure if Ravi’s omission stems from ignorance (which is unforgivable) or from personal bias (which is charlatan).

Thermal And A Quarter, as those who know their Indian indie scene know, began this revolution by playing entire three-hour sets comprising only originals — as early as 1999. No Indian band, repeat, no Indian band (save some in that fantastic cultural pocket — the Northeast) was doing that then. One other band that did it explosively — and I was witness to their memorable show at Madras Christian College’s Deep Woods in 1996 — was (then not-yet-Mumbai’s) Chakraview (with Dhruv Ghanekar on some serious gizmo-led guitar).

Perhaps Ravi also might want to remember that Laila Rouass-starring black-and-white music video, Colourblind, by the Mumbai band of the same name (the duo of Ram Sampath and Siddharth Achrekar). It was a brilliant new statement (very indie) and added a dimension to Indian rock that did not hitherto exist (or last). Sampath (now a composer for films and famous for his copyright victory over the Roshans for copying the music of Krazzy 4) told me off the record when I interviewed him (about Ram Madhvani’s Let’s Talk for Rediff.com in December 2002) that Colourblind “had not been viable”.

Viability has always been the gradient against which Indian indie rock has laboured. Indus Creed, after showing us the light, disappointed us by disbanding and resurfacing again as Alms for Shanti, with an eponymous album that was released both in English and Hindi (Kashmakash, Free Spirit, 2001). Alms for Shanti, with a name that sounded like it had been coined by an armchair Indologist at the University of Hawaii, plays the club circuit in New York where they have established themselves as export-reject exotics. Although singer Uday Benegal cribbed about the sleaze in the music industry as an aside during an interview with Rediff.com in 2002, he also told me this: “We went West because we were disillusioned with the East. Because the music we were doing at that time had absolutely no place here. Not that we were seeking salvation in the West. We wanted to go ahead with the music we make and look for the audience in the West.”

That’s one way to go, but if you know the audience to be here you have to be loyal to it. It must be remembered that around the same time that Alms for Shanti announced their album to a crowd of wine-sipping and tikka-nibbling celebs at a swank Tardeo lounge bar, a lot of bands that had been either influenced by TAAQ or shared the same struggle emerged from Bangalore — Kryptos, Myndsnare, Galeej Gurus, Zebediah Plush… And I am not even talking in any detail about the metal scene (which, being loud enough as it is, deserves an altogether different celebratory writeup amid a full-flowing headbangathon at Styx).

That TAAQ (still an unsigned band) was not from Bollywood-besotted Mumbai or Hindi-mein-gao-yaar Delhi or still-smoking-the-Sixties Kolkata was really what went against them when they started. Or the fact that their music was a leap year ahead of the public imagination — I mean, how many Benadryl-swillers orgasming in the moshpit had actually heard of (let alone heard) Steely Dan and Pat Metheny, or even imagined that they could influence an Indian band’s sound? The few critics of this counterculture — jealous jilted lovers of it mostly — judged the music by a myopic yardstick: the done-to-death genres of metal and dinosaur rock.

With Jupiter Cafe (2002), TAAQ’s second album, Bangalore shot into the limelight. It continued with Plan B (2004), the first album from India to be distributed with a custom Creative Commons-like license. These, inarguably, were milestones in Indian rock. Indie media (Indiecision, Split, RadioVerve… hell, even the un-indie Rolling Stone) acknowledged and celebrated them. MTV, which has always fed off the now happily moribund record industry (recently resuscitated by MJ’s passing) and now mooches off Bollywood to survive in the subcontinent, has no authority to comment on the indie scene. In the two fitful decades of Indian rock, MTV has neither recognised nor supported the indie movement. And to pay lip service to it now, with a limp biscuit such as this, is both embarrassing and shameful.

As the man who named his daughter Moon Unit said: “In the fight between you and the world, back the world.”

Part of this rant was originally posted as a comment on the muchly admired Sepia Mutiny

Photo: TAAQ from the back by SlickThief

Avevo già in programma di pubblicare un brano musicale per stimolare in voi, cari e devoti lettori, profondissime riflessioni, nelle quali immergersi durante il weekend.
A questo modestissimo obiettivo si aggiunge anche l’opportunità di segnalare un post (che, sottolineo, non copioincollo ma linko e basta*), dove il gestore accenna al rapporto a distanza tra Frank Zappa e il gruppo Elio e le storie tese.
Buon ascolto e buona lettura dell’articolo, con relativo thread, di cui sopra.

“Lo stato A, lo stato B”, Eelst (testo)

*l’ufficio legale mi ha suggerito di precisarlo.

This week’s theme was a toughie: SONGS TO MAKE SANDWICHES TO was inspired by a forum on music mag Word’s site. While Word readers couldn’t take the subject seriously I figured there was room for someone who did. And who better than little ol’ obsessive me? So sandwiches it was, but I made it easier by also including hamburgers, hot-dogs and the like. I even allowed songs about stuff that goes into a sandwich, like honey, tomatoes, chicken. Still I suffered some abuse. Impossible, you emailed. Why not make it broader and include all food pleaded Lynden. Crap theme, too hard, moaned Zoe. Oh you listeners of little faith.

We opened with a novelty song: SANDWICHES ARE BEAUTIFUL from Bob King, but in case you’re worried about this setting a tone for the rest of the show, be assured – rockers, r&b artists and especially the alternative pop singers all delivered some edgy songs on sandwiches.

Do you know where the word sandwich was born?  London. 1762. An English nobleman, John Montagu, the Fourth Earl of Sandwich was too busy gambling to stop for a meal even though he was hungry for some food. The legend goes that he ordered a waiter to bring him roast-beef between two slices of bread. The Earl was able to continue his gambling while eating his snack; and from that incident, we have inherited the fast-food product that we now know as the sandwich.

Today, our favourite version of meat between bread is called a hamburger. So we got the show rolling with the Whitlams’ brilliant  I MAKE HAMBURGERS followed by The Flaming Lips and SHE DON’T USE JELLY. New York based, Japanese duo Cibo Matto were next with LE PAIN PERDU. The name of the band is Italian for crazy food and the title of the song is French for Toast. The lyrics in their songs are all primarily concerned with food, well seemingly anyway, and I liked them so much I also played another of their tunes, KNOW YOUR CHICKEN later in the program. Here’s the crazy video clip of that track and, although he doesn’t appear in the clip, that’s Sean Lennon on bass.

Two items that elevate ordinary old toast to dessert status are marmalade and honey. So any excuse to play Patti Labelle’s LADY MARMALADE and Aretha Franklin’s HONEY and I’m there. Yum yum.

Louis Jordan loves his BEANS AND CORNBREAD while Lil Johnson pushes metaphor to it’s limits with SAM THE HOT DOG MAN. Neil Young is partial to TUPELO HONEY on his sandwich, while  Jimmy Buffet can’t stop singing about a CHEESEBURGER IN PARADISE.

When it comes to cheeseburgers, whether we like it or not, the burger with the highest profile has got to be MacDonald’s. Hell, there was a whole conversation about their burgers in the film PULP FICTION. Ah yes, how could we not include that iconic scene where John Travolta and Samuel Jackson discuss the merits of the French McDonald’s – ROYALE WITH CHEESE?

Two tunes that pay homage to the fact that a good cuppa is needed to wash down a sandwich or piece of toast were next.  Canadian Jeff Healey, gave Gertrude Lawrence’s A CUP OF COFFEE, A SANDWICH, AND YOU a burl and  then it was TOAST AND MARMALADE FOR TEA, a nice piece of bubblegum from the band Tin Tin.

Kaiser Cheifs reminded us of that vital sandwich ingredient – tomatoes –   with TOMATO IN THE RAIN. And then it was the hilarious TOAST from Paul Young and the Streetband. Classic. Take a look at this clip from 1978.

In Mexican cuisine, a sandwich is either a taco or a burrito. Beck didn’t sound too happy when he sang SATAN GAVE ME A TACO. It seems taking delivery of that snack had all kinds of repercussions. Meanwhile, Frank Zappa and the Mothers of Invention went CRUISING FOR BURGERS. As you do.

All girl group Care Bears on Fire let loose with the precautionary BARBIE EAT A SANDWICH. Nice animated clip too. Check it out:

Let’s talk chicken. Here’s a question: What’s a chicken sandwich without MAYONNAISE? Smashing Pumpkins offered up a track dedicated to the condiment of all condiments. Mmmmm mmmmm: chicken, lettuce and mayo on white bread – can’t get better than that. The Detroit Grand Pubahs reinforced the fact that all songs, but especially those about food, are really about sex. The tune? The very cheeky WE CAN MAKE SANDWICHES. Here we go: another crazy video clip:

Out of the disco and out on the road: Little Feat are sang all about HAMBURGER MIDNIGHT and then John Mellencamp reckons that life is like choosing between HOTDOGS AND HAMBURGERS, (not sure what he’s getting at there).

Comedian Mitch Hedberg does a great skit on sandwiches and I particularly liked the bit about the Club Sandwich. We followed that with a dangerous piece of radio: Metal band Psychostick with THIS IS NOT A SONG, IT’S A SANDWICH!

After Psychostick we needed to calm down and what better way than with Feist and a song about the calming qualities of HONEY? You wouldn’t exactly call The Sugarcubes, (with Bjork), a calming influence. They can’t decide what to put on their sandwich and are threatening to EAT THE MENU. Check out the very young Bjork and a fabulous floating burger, all in one clip!

We closed the show with an oldie but a goodie: I LIKE BREAD AND BUTTER by the New Beats. Check out the clip from 1964:

Next week the show will feature Songs about Elvis; not by Elvis – although that would be good too – Songs about Elvis. Come on this one is easy, so start sending those requests in.

But for now, here’s this week’s playlist: