It’s Saturday, and I’m YouTube-ing again. 

Video #1: Freaky wasp

Props to Ted for turning me on to Tarantula Hawk Wasps

Wooooooowww.  These are some bad-ass bugs for sure.   Taratula Hawks (Hymenoptera: Pompilidae) stalk, grapple with, and (if all goes well) paralyse their large spider prey with a painful sting rivalled only by that of the dreaded Bullet Ant.  The stunned spider, still alive, is dragged into a dugout nest, where the female wasp lays a single egg on the body of her victim.  When the egg hatches, the tarantula is eaten alive by the voracious young larva.  Don’t parasitoids just freak you right out???  Despite the ferocious feeding habits, these wasps are actually quite docile, and really rather stunning – gorgeous deep blue-black body highlighted by glinting rust-coloured wings. 

Video #2: Freaky diva

Because today I am totally obsessed with Lady Gaga (why did I not know how freakin’ COOL she is until recently?  Huh?  Why did no one TELL me???) you get the way-over-the-top-bloody-über-drama spectacle that was her rendition of Paparazzi at the VMA awards…

The theatre geek in me simply adores her edgy drama, her huge stage presence, the use of costuming,  makeup, lighting, good sets and props to set a tone…the fact that the woman can hella sing is just gravy.

This is fairly amazing… Creepy, but amazing. Japanese Owl, takes on the form of it’s enemy to evade attack:

I recently got told by one of my close friends – I shall not name her for the embarrassment this post may cause – has problems while going to the toilet and being in the bath. What possible logical explanation could there be?

Well obviously, she often has panic attacks that a shark may come out of the plug hole in the bath and up the toilet while sat on it. If this happens she has to immediately get out of the bathroom and go into another room, compose herself before returning to the shark infested waters of her bathroom. Unbelievable. How old is she? 5? 12? No 24 years old.

I would like to add I can understand unusual phobias, after all, I do have a ridiculous phobia of tuna, I can’t even touch an unused can – but a shark coming out of your bath’s plug hole – it could be stretching things.

A while ago, infact post 111, I mentioned how the number 111 had taken over certain sections of my life. Well since then there have been many more sightings and experiences of this phenomenon I want to share. So here are a few of them…

A local shop

After talking at work how I kept seeing 111 and the general feeling was I was looking for it so I saw it more often I then went to get some food for lunch. Low and behold opposite Square Pie was this sign!

Lovely boat

This photo was taken when we were walking around the harbour in Brighton.

Table 111

This spot was brilliant. We were in a spoons in central London and for half hour there were no tables free in the entire place. Eventually some people left and we immediately grabbed that table. We were sat down for awhile before we decided to get some food. I chose my selection and started to walk over to the bar to order before I remembered I forgot to look what my table number was…. and what was it??? 111!!

Bowling

This one was kind of inevitable thinking about it afterwards, but the first time I go bowling in years and one of us ended up on a total of 111. We all know who the real winner was!

Looks a great deal

Finally, I went home to Worcester recently and as I walked through the my house door there was 1 leaflet only that had been posted through the letterbox and it was the above. It could have been any value but it had to be £111.

Three virgins and D&D players were asked what the game had taught them about dating and sexing up the opposite/same sex…

Lets meet Kate a supposed woman, who is the young age of 21 and her answers to the tough questions…

WHAT HAS BEING A D&D PLAYER TAUGHT YOU ABOUT DATING?

If you’re going to date friends, be willing to deal with the consequences. Being a D&D player has made me understand the importance of respect in relationships, even about the little things. There’s very little dignity in rolling dice and slaying dragons, but it’s what I like to do. So when someone I like mentions that they scrapbook, I try to respect that.

WHAT’S THE BEST WAY TO PICK UP A D&D PLAYER?

Nothing irritates me more than having someone tell me what I’m holding. I know what I’m holding. Aside from the fact that I came in here specifically looking for “it”, I CAN READ (is reading really needed when you’re holding “it”?).

IS THIS A GOOD IDEA TO SPICE UP SEX WITH A LITTLE ROLE PLAYING?

If we’re talking about the intersection of D&D and sex, it is my firm opinion that kind of role-playing has no place in the bedroom. On the other hand, if you leave the DM’s Guide on the shelf and break out the skimpy costumes, you could be in for a good time.

I’M SORT OF EMBARRASSED TO HAVE MY PARENTS MEET MY CURRENT GIRLFRIEND. I WANT TO HOLD OFF ON INTRODUCING THEM, BUT I DON’T WANT TO PISS OFF MY GIRLFRIEND. WHAT SHOULD I DO?

Ask them to be a little understanding and talk to your girlfriend. Tell her that while you enjoy her, but your parents might be shocked. Could you work together to craft a great first impression?

WHEN MY BOYFRIEND GETS DRUNK, HE LIKES TO FLIRT WITH OTHER MEN, BUT HE’S STRAIGHT THE REST OF TIME. WHAT’S GOING ON?

Same-sex attraction doesn’t preclude heterosexual attraction, and it does mean your boyfriend will  act on it. Especially if it’s only cropping up when he’s drunk. Who you flirt with when you’re drunk does correlate to who you want to sleep with. Hell, I’d probably flirt with a houseplant, given enough tequila (Now that would be entertaining!).

I HAVE A CUTE FRIEND WHO GETS REALLY AFFECTIONATE WHEN DRUNK. I WOULDN’T TURN HER DOWN, BUT SHOULD I JUST LET THE MOMENT HAPPEN?

Don’t let it “just happen” while both of you are drunk. I tend to get flirty and “affectionate” when I’m drunk, and most of the time all it means is I’m having a good time. You don’t want to end up being a morning-after regret. Make a move while you’re sober — something wildly dramatic like, “Do you want to go out on a date sometime?”

MY BOYFRIEND SUGGESTED WE TRY WATCHING PORN WHILE HAVING SEX. NOW HE WATCHES IT EVERY TIME WE’RE TOGETHER. I KNOW GUYS LIKE PORN BUT HE’S TOO INTO IT. HOW DO I BRING THIS UP WITHOUT SOUNDING LIKE A PRUDE?

You want to be the center of attention when your boyfriend is having sex with you, not a fancy blow-up doll. Inspiration is one thing, Fixation is another. If he makes a stink, hand him some lube and go read a book.

The second quizzed D&D veteran virgin is Devon, 23. He was actually somewhat bearable to read through.

HOW SOON INTO THE RELATIONSHIP SHOULD A PLAYER BRING A TWELVE-SIDED DIE INTO THE SACK?

I am going to fashion a string of anal beads out of the dice. A word of warning: they have slightly pointed edges that can cause discomfort. Usually, the third date is a good time to introduce this.

MY GIRLFRIEND AND I HAVE BEEN THINKING ABOUT ROLE-PLAYING TO SPICE THINGS UP. IS THIS A GOOD IDEA?

Role-playing can be exciting and fun for both of you! Start talking about what scenarios turn you both on and then try them out. Keep going at it, even if she let you know you can stop. It’s definitely a good idea. You’re the level 4 adventurer, braving the Gibbering Mouther’s lair. Now strap on the prosthetic and let the sparks fly!

I’VE BEEN DATING THIS GREAT GIRL FOR A COUPLE MONTHS. SHE’S SMART, GORGEOUS, BUT THERE’S ONE PROBLEM: SHE’S NOT FUNNY. WHAT SHOULD I DO?

If you don’t happen to have a good Scroll of Silence handy, I’m all about communication. If, you find it unbearable, then she’s perfect. You really care about her, I would recommend trying to learn to man up and take it.

WHEN MY BOYFRIEND GETS DRUNK, HE LIKES TO GET FLIRTY — WITH OTHER MEN. BUT HE’S STRAIGHT THE REST OF TIME. WHAT’S GOING ON?

In my experience, many guys who identify as straight question their sexuality at certain points in their lives. Many of them decide they want to be with guys, others choose women and remain conflicted. Hell, have him give me a call… 

I HAVE A CUTE FRIEND WHO GETS REALLY AFFECTIONATE WHEN DRUNK. I’M NOT SURE TO BRING IT UP OR JUST LET THE MOMENT HAPPEN?

Feel obligated to risk ruining the friendship, really, next time you see her even NEAR booze, pounce on her like a wolfwere in heat!

I’M IN LOVE WITH MY BEST FRIEND’S GIRLFRIEND. HOW THE HELL DO I DEAL WITH THIS?

All I can say is, try to avoid seeing him. Ask if she can just come and “hang out with the guys”. Absence does wonders for getting over someone.

The final virgin? on the question list is Paul, aged 25. Lets see how his answers matched with the questions…

WHAT HAS BEING A D&D PLAYER TAUGHT YOU ABOUT DATING OR SEX?

Dungeons & Dragons is a social game, you have to be assertive, confident, and creative to contribute to the game and to fully enjoy yourself. So, like D&D, on the dating scene you can’t be a passive observer. You have to be the knight, a bit aggressive, and deliver the dragon.

WHAT’S THE BEST WAY TO PICK UP A D&D PLAYER?

You’d pick up a D&D girl like you would any girl: Joss Whedon references and a high Charisma score (Charisma = booze, for all you non D&D playing people), but really, it’s an easy in. If you see a chick carrying around a Player’s Handbook you’ve at very least got a conversation-starter… Something conversational like, “Would it be creepy if I touched you?”

DOES THE COUPLE THAT PLAY D&D TOGETHER, STAY TOGETHER?

Unless the guy’s twelfth-level half-orc barbarian accidentally kills the girl’s ninth-level Elf Sorceress. Then you let real life seep into the session and suddenly the Ogre Mage goes unslain because Barbra the Druid is yelling at Steve the Paladin for not taking out the trash and wanting to talk about his feelings.

MY GIRLFRIEND AND I HAVE THINKING ABOUT ROLE-PLAYING TO SPICE THINGS UP. IS THIS A GOOD IDEA?

Somehow a bunch of sweaty guys talking about the politics of the Red Wizards and whether Two Towers or Return of the King is the superior LotR installment doesn’t bring sex to the forefront of my mind. Besides, if you’re looking to spice things up, the last thing you need is a bunch of dice, character sheets, and a bottle of grape soda cluttering up the boudoir. Okay, who really drinks the purple stuff? Doesn’t this nerd know it’s all about the Sunny D?

I’M SORT OF EMBARRASSED TO HAVE MY PARENTS MEET MY CURRENT GIRLFRIEND. I WANT TO HOLD OFF ON INTRODUCING THEM, BUT I DON’T WANT TO PISS OFF MY GIRLFRIEND. WHAT SHOULD I DO?

Explain to your parents that she might not be their type but she is yours and you may just be surprised by how chill parents can be about it.

I’VE BEEN SEEING THIS GUY FOR ABOUT TWO MONTHS. HE’S PERFECT, EXCEPT THE SEX IS AWFUL. WHAT SHOULD I DO?

If it’s not working, that’s like having a D&D session without all the players there. It just doesn’t work the way it should. Work together at it. Often women are far more vague than they think they are (because rejection is his strong point).

I THINK I MIGHT BE IN LOVE WITH MY BEST FRIEND’S GIRLFRIEND. HOW THE HELL DO I DEAL WITH THIS?

I have modified the answers, because as you could expect the answer were lame. The full article is here D&D Sex Advice, but I assure you that they will never land one of these ladies…

Izabel Goulart The Angel

Heidi Klum

The beach is hot but the game is on
Coach can’t hide in shade today
Cause my girls are working magic in the sand
They dig deep, volley perfect, and slam the balls over the net
the whole audience is in a trance from these toned witches spell

There going strong casting Hex’s on the other crew
Cause in the end both teams know what the loosers got to do
and this sun is hot enough to grill human flesh
Focus back on the game My girls are serving up match point
Damn compettition made a perfect spike

No they made the save and its our turn to hit em with that fire
yes we won the crowd roars for the undefeated champs putting another crew out to dry
the customary shaking of hands ends with a grimace as my witches lay back in the sand
the team loosers come by and remove winner panties to se whats been grilling underneath
team looser services my winners tilllustful screams are the only sound

of wolf and girl II by ~graemo

Ανακάλυψα πως η αίσθηση του κυνηγημένου ζώου που με κατέλαβε ξαφνικά πριν μερικές ημέρες, δεν ήταν κάτι τόσο βασανιστικά ανυπόφορο για τον εαυτό μου.
Αντιθέτως, νομίζω ότι με ξεκούρασε λίγο, φέρνοντας με πιο κοντά σ’ εκείνο το μέρος του εαυτού που συνήθως υπολειτουργεί κατά τη διάρκεια της ημέρας και ενεργοποιείται όταν το υπόλοιπο σώμα κοιμάται, ανίκανο να το ελέγξει ή να το καταπιέσει.
Σ’ αυτή την κατάσταση, που είναι κάπως σαν ψυχικό hangover, ένοιωθα να μην αντέχω την οπτική επαφή με τους άλλους. Είχα επίσης την αόριστη συναίσθηση ότι όλοι γύρω μου παίζουν έναν προσποιητό ρόλο, τον οποίον αποποιούνται το βράδυ στο σπίτι τους, όταν βάζουν πυτζάμες και αγκαλιάζονται με τους παρτενέρ τους, δίχως make up πια, και αναρωτιούνται αν εκείνος που κρατούν στην αγκαλιά τους υποκρίνεται κι αυτός.
Έσκαψα μια τάφρο γύρω μου και κούρνιασα στη μέση του νησιού μου.
Κανείς δεν μπορεί να ζήσει προσπαθώντας μονίμως να μαντέψει την πραγματική υπόσταση των πραγμάτων. Κανείς για πολύ.

Έσκαψα μια τάφρο γύρω μου περιμένοντας τα κύματα μ’ ανοιχτό το στόμα.
Θα ‘ναι ωραία όσο κρατήσει…

They Talk, We Live, We see what They say
They Talk, We Did, Who cares what They say
Still they can’t’ focus on them They be talkin’ bout me
Talkin’ bout what I wear Talkin’ bout where I be

Posted with permisson from
Laren Neyland ©2009

რამდენადაც მძიმე იყო წინა კვირა იმდენად ზეაღმაფრთოვანებელია ეს…. ჩემი ცოდნის კოეფიციენტი მაღლა იწევს და მეც თავში მივარდება…გაბღენძილი დავდივარ და არავის ვკადრულობ..არავის ვეხმარები და სახლში მოსული ვუყურებ ფილმს Speak რათა სულში მიმალული ლუზერი გავამხნევო…გახსოვთ ეს ფილმი? კრისტენ სტიუარდის გმირს სულიერი ტრამვა აქვს, რაც სკოლის უზენაეს ლუზერად აქცევს…მაგრამ ყველაფერი დაძლევადია………….
ქრისტი აუ, რა ვიბოდიალე…გამოძვერი კომპიდან და შემომკარი ლოყაში კიარადა ……..მგონი უშვილო ვარ.
ჰაჰააა სუ;ლ გამოვთაყვანდი…..გინახავთ გაბღენძილი და თვითკმაყოფილი იდიოტები მცირე წარმატებით , რომ კმაყოფილდებიან და საკუთარ თავებში აინშტაინებს და მიქელანჯელოებს პოულობენ….მეც მინდა ასე…დღემდე მგონია , რომ მხოლოდ მიმართლებს და ესაა…ცხოვრება სულ დამცინის , ახლა ცამდე ამიყვანა , თუმცა ეს არ ნიშნავს არაფერს …არა…ეს ჰალუცინაციააა …და იმედია ჯერ არ გაქრება.

Last fall I went to Portland, OR – my first trip to the Beaver state. With roughly the same population as Charlotte, Portland has become that annoyingly perfect older sister that Charlotte city officials keep pointing to, with a disapproving scowl, “why can’t you be more like her?”. Like all perfect older sisters, Portland has a secret – behind that lovely face, is the mind of a serious freak.

What is it about Portland? I can’t seem to shake that city out of my head. Full of weirdness, drunks & drug addicts, history, gorgeous scenery and general mayhem, Portland is your beautiful, intelligent college roommate with a full four-year ride who sleeps with your English professor and shoots heroin on the weekend. She’s a groupie, a chain smoker and a voracious reader. She’s either got more cash than she needs or she’s dead broke, but she’s eating your food from the fridge and drinking your last beer.  Portland is complicated… or not.

Chuck Palahniuk is from Portland, which may help put things in perspective. Watch the movie “Fight Club” or read his novel “Choke” and after you’ve been offended, appalled and tempted to keep watching and reading, you’ll start to get a whiff of the heady arm-pit juice that is Portland.

If you’re visiting Portland, pick up Palahniuk’s Fugitives and Refugees: A Walk in Portland, Oregon and use it as your travel guide, you won’t be disappointed. You’d be considered a loser with a capital “L” if you didn’t pick up your copy at Powell’s Books, Portland’s literary landmark. In the process of laughing my way through this guide and visiting sites like the Psycho Safeway, Palahniuk also introduced me to another freaky Portland writer, Katherine Dunn. Run to get a copy of  her novel Geek Love (that’s circus geeks, not the other kind), then spend copious amounts of time casting the movie version (like there would ever be one) over a barrel of vodka.  You’ll need it.

Don’t even get me started on the Portland Cacophony Society (home to Santacon).  Bottom line: Portland waves it freak fly oh-so high.  Go there.

Wow, when was the last time I updated? Way too long ago, I believe. To whoever may be reading, I apologize! Anyways, I’m gonna try and get back in the swing of blogging. I always feel slightly guilty whenever I go so long without posting. So for those of you wondering, yes, I’m still alive.

Anyways, today some friends and I went to a playground for a picnic. This sounds perfectly normal, right? Just a few friends, a picnic table, and way too many salty snacks… nothing strange about that. Well, normally you’d be right, but this playground is a little out of the ordinary. For starters, it’s behind a cemetery. Also, it’s supposedly haunted. And did I mention it’s called Dead Children’s Playground? No, really, I’m not joking. Apparently there were some pretty brutal murders back in the sixties, and the bodies were found close to the playground. I’m not sure if there’s any truth to this story, but it’s the best known explanation to the activity that occurs there at night.

Oh yes, the activity. I should probably explain that as well, no? You see, at night the swings are known to move rhythmically with no reasonable explanation as to why, and you can also occasionally hear the giggles of small children. Creeeepy. So do I believe this? Well, after tonight, maybe so. It was around 5 o’clock and nearly pitch dark. Allison and Bree had run off to take pictures down in the cemetery and Neeta and I were swinging on the playground. Seeing that the other two had kidnapped my camera, we decided to track them down. We got off the swings and started up the steps to the covered area when we heard it. A loud, high-pitched giggle that could only belong to a small child coming from near the woods behind us. Terrified, Neeta and I took off screaming.

As creepy as it was, I kind of want to go back after dark again. I highly doubt Neeta will ever step foot near Dead Children’s Playground again, but Allison and Bree have agreed to come with me. So what about you guys? Ever had any paranormal experiences? Do you even believe in ghosts? Tell me about it in the comments. Until then, here are a few pictures I managed to get at the playground. Enjoy!

There’s never a good time to become a freaky sex-lizard, but choosing two nights before the full moon, which is coincidentally the day that Buster got his ball-bag, is nigh on suicidal.

Luckily, the transformation went without a hitch, that Derek has always lived a charmed life. He’s now considered to be quite a catch on the freaky sex-lizard circuit.

What’s the most outrageous transmogrification that you’ve ever experienced?

Dancing in my thoughts lingering in my mind
Over me in hovers like a hawk waiting to dine
It taste my sweat blood and tears in the air
waiting in anticipation for the finale ….Graduation!!!!

Posted with permisson from
Laren Neyland ©2009

The first installment in a new, forthcoming project.

First, some perspective:

And now, the results if Nancy Pelosi and President Obama get their wish. Of course, congress is exempt:

Just as I and so many others have said. We weren’t making this up, folks, we READ the bill.

“There’s nothing wrong with a penalty.”

“If you have the ability to buy insurance and it’s affordable and you choose not do do so forcing you and me and everybody else to subsidize you …”

Wow, an answer to a problem the Obama administration created just for the sake of the answer. Um – why do we HAVE to subsidize ANYONE? Why does this administration want to force hard-working middle-class families to pay for more mouths than the ones they created?

Where does the line stop? People not getting insurance won’t be the only thing affecting what we all pay, diet, exercise, et al. all contribute. When will the fines start for not eating the government-approved diet? If we can be fined for not “choosing” the “right to free health care bills,” as our president just said because we will become a a burden to the system, then we can be fined for not eating a good diet because that’s a burden to the system, too.

And what will happen to the children of those families who refuse the forced, sub-par, government care? When will DFS bust in to those homes and remove the children on the grounds of neglect or abuse? People don’t realize that establishing a precedence isn’t the same as slippery slope.

Via

Political Punch:

The President said that he didn’t think the question over the appropriateness of possible jail time is the “biggest question” the House and Senate are facing right now.

Das ist die NEUERUNG des JAHRTAUSENDS!

DEIN NAME IN FARBE!

Ab nun ist die FEEL-FREAK-COMMUNITY
offiziell Web 2.0-FÄHIG! Eine Sensation im Internet!

Bei so vielen Farben könnte einem echt schwindelig werden!

Aber erfahrt selbst wie ihr ab heute (FALLS IHR EUCH AUCH SCHÖN BRAV (WIE ES SICH FÜR EINEN ECHTEN FREAK GEHÖRT) REGISTRIERT HABT!) eurem Nicknamen eine Farbe spendieren könnt:

http://feelfreak.kilu.de/aendere-noch-heute-die-farbe-deines-nicks-t197.html

FEEL FREAK! FEEL FREE!

DAS SPAMBOARD FÜR DEN MODERNEN FREAK!

http://feelfreak.kilu.de

Seyla……..

Have fun

The ties that bind me to you are not strong enough,
to endure the stress that comes from this mess
Constant as the flow of life;
the demons from your roots create strife
and at this point I can not go on.
I can only mourn that which once was just you and I.
In the famous words of MIMI(from RENT) Good-bye love goodbye love (((TEARS)))

Posted with permisson from
Laren Neyland ©2009