We’ve all seen people who are always happy – even amidst agonizing life trials. I’m not saying happy people don’t feel grief, sorrow or sadness; they just don’t let it overtake their life. The following are 21 things happy people make a habit of doing:

1. Appreciate Life

Be thankful that you woke up alive each morning. Develop a childlike sense of wonder towards life. Focus on the beauty of every living thing. Make the most of each day. Don’t take anything for granted. Don’t sweat the small stuff.

2. Choose Friends Wisely

Surround yourself with happy, positive people who share your values and goals. Friends that have the same ethics as you will encourage you to achieve your dreams. They help you to feel good about yourself. They are there to lend a helping hand when needed.

3. Be Considerate

Accept others for who they are as well as where they are in life. Respect them for who they are. Touch them with a kind and generous spirit. Help when you are able, without trying to change the other person. Try to brighten the day of everyone you come into contact with.

4. Learn Continuously

Keep up to date with the latest news regarding your career and hobbies. Try new and daring things that has sparked your interest – such as dancing, skiing, surfing or sky-diving.

5. Creative Problem Solving

Don’t wallow in self-pity. As soon as you face a challenge get busy finding a solution. Don’t let the set backs affect your mood, instead see each new obstacle you face as an opportunity to make a positive change. Learn to trust your gut instincts – it’s almost always right.

6. Do What They Love

Some statistics show that 80% of people dislike their jobs! No wonder there’s so many unhappy people running around. We spend a great deal of our life working. Choose a career that you enjoy – the extra money of a job you detest isn’t worth it. Make time to enjoy your hobbies and pursue special interests.

7. Enjoy Life

Take the time to see the beauty around you. There’s more to life than work. Take time to smell the roses, watch a sunset or sunrise with a loved one, take a walk along the seashore, hike in the woods etc. Learn to live in the present moment and cherish it. Don’t live in the past or the future.

8. Laugh

Don’t take yourself – or life to seriously. You can find humor in just about any situation. Laugh at yourself – no one’s perfect. When appropriate laugh and make light of the circ***tances. (Naturally there are times that you should be serious as it would be improper to laugh.)

9. Forgive

Holding a grudge will hurt no one but you. Forgive others for your own peace of mind. When you make a mistake – own up to it – learn from it – and FORGIVE yourself.

10. Gratitude

Develop an attitude of gratitude. Count your blessings; All of them – even the things that seem trivial. Be grateful for your home, your work and most importantly your family and friends. Take the time to tell them that you are happy they are in your life.

11. Invest in Relationships

Always make sure your loved ones know you love them even in times of conflict. Nurture and grow your relationships with your family and friends by making the time to spend with them. Don’t break your promises to them. Be supportive.

12. Keep Their Word

Honesty is the best policy. Every action and decision you make should be based on honesty. Be honest with yourself and with your loved ones.

13. Meditate

Meditation gives your very active brain a rest. When it’s rested you will have more energy and function at a higher level. Types of meditation include yoga, hypnosis, relaxation tapes, affirmations, visualization or just sitting in complete silence. Find something you enjoy and make the time to practice daily.

14. Mind Their Own Business

Concentrate on creating your life the way you want it. Take care of you and your family. Don’t get overly concerned with what other people are doing or saying. Don’t get caught up with gossip or name calling. Don’t judge. Everyone has a right to live their own life the way they want to – including you.

15. Optimism

See the glass as half full. Find the positive side of any given situation. It’s there – even though it may be hard to find. Know that everything happens for a reason, even though you may never know what the reason is. Steer clear of negative thoughts. If a negative thought creeps in – replace it with a positive thought.

16. Love Unconditionally

Accept others for who they are. You don’t put limitations on your love. Even though you may not always like the actions of your loved ones – you continue to love them.

17. Persistence

Never give up. Face each new challenge with the attitude that it will bring you one step closer to your goal. You will never fail, as long as you never give up. Focus on what you want, learn the required skills, make a plan to succeed and take action. We are always happiest while pursuing something of value to us.

18. Be Proactive

Accept what can not be changed. Happy people don’t waste energy on circumstances beyond their control. Accept your limitations as a human being. Determine how you can take control by creating the outcome you desire – rather than waiting to respond.

19. Self Care

Take care of your mind, body and health. Get regular medical check ups. Eat healthy and work out. Get plenty of rest. Drink lots of water. Exercise your mind by continually energizing it with interesting and exciting challenges.

20. Self Confidence

Don’t try to be someone that you’re not. After all no one likes a phony. Determine who you are in the inside – your own personal likes and dislikes. Be confident in who you are. Do the best you can and don’t second guess yourself.

21. Take Responsibility

Happy people know and understand that they are 100% responsible for their life. They take responsibility for their moods, attitude, thoughts, feelings, actions and words. They are the first to admit when they’ve made a mistake.

Begin today by taking responsibility for your happiness. Work on developing these habits as you own. The more you incorporate the above habits into your daily lifestyle – the happier you will be.

Most of all: BE TRUE TO YOURSELF.

http://www.globalone.tv/group/gratitude/forum/topics/21-habits-of-happy-people&title=The+Article+Title

Happy New Year!

This is the time when we reflect back on the past year and catch up with the family. Most people I spoke to – clean the house out and do the things you didn’t have time for during 2010. I must admit, I have spent the last 3 days doing that – cleaning the house, at the same time talking to my wife and daughters about their dreams and expectations for the year ahead. It has and during the next few days, still will be a good time for reflection and bonding as a family.

Many people are thinking of the obstacles and challenges ahead for the new year, and this morning I found a great saying which I posted on my Facebook page, “As you go into 2011, remember that fear is the opposite of everything you are, and so has an effect of opposition to your mental and physical health. Fear is worry magnified.” If anything, you need to let go of all your fears and try see them rather as challenges. If you think about it, challenges are what makes us grow and give us the drive to reach our goals.

As I was doing my daily post this morning, my wife was tackling her side of the walk-in closet and came down to me with a letter written by my oldest daughter, Sabrina. My wife and I sometimes ask our daughters to write down their thoughts as interesting insights come to light on what is going on in their minds. Sabrina asked me a while back, what it meant that I billed myself as a ‘Change Management Expert’, so we chatted about it and I asked her to write down her thoughts on change. She wrote it in her own time, and gave it to my wife while I was out travelling. She put it away as a keepsake. Of course today she found it again in the closet and asked me to read it. Wow! The insight my daughter has and to see what goes on in her mind at age 13 was very interesting. So most of this morning we chatted and I learnt from my daughter again! Of course I immediately asked her if I could share it with you this month.

Here now is a 13 year old view on the world and in many senses what lies ahead of us in the upcoming year. I have added my comments in italics at the end as not to break the flow of her letter.

MY STORY by Sabrina Riebe

Once upon a time was me. I was born as a perfect little child. I rely on my mom and dad for everything and am completely hopeless without them. Then I got a sister, Alexis. She also relyed on my parents for everything, she too was helpless without them. Life was perfect, our family was perfect, BUT still it has CHANGED!

CHANGE, it is the most scariest thing for me.  It is scary how life isn’t the same as it was even 50, 40, 20, even 10 or 5 years ago! Everything has changed! 50 years ago people didn’t even dream of owning a big screen TV, the latest Mercedes Benz, computers, or even cell phones! SCARY isn’t it? People have become so materialistic! They must have everything, do everything that other people do or have. They do not appreciate life anymore. Especially not the ‘small’ things like just opening your eyes in the morning, being able to speak to your family, having a family, waking up in a warm bed, their bodies, and many more things!

Even for me, just as young as I am, 13 years old, I can even see how everything has changed, how technology is taking over. I can still remember the first day Alexis and I had our first ‘real’ fight. What causes you to fight with your brother or sister for the first time? When you are born you don’t know about fighting, or swearing, or anything worldly. So what causes you to have that first fight with your brother or sister? CHANGE! That’s what causes it. You become older, you change! You grow up. Even Santa Clause, the Easter Bunny and the Tooth Fairy – people, children, just don’t believe at a certain age anymore, because they have CHANGED. Yes, life does change us and make us wiser, but inside ourselves we must always keep that special magic alive, then it makes understanding life much easier.

Isn’t that just amazing how she sees life?

Do you realise the impact you have on your child’s life? Does your child feel secure in your family? Often I ponder at how we need a licence to buy a TV and drive a car – today I feel adults should have a licence before they can have children! Often we don’t realise the huge impact we play in a child’s life. The silly things we say which can leave a negative impact. We need to be so aware of how we treat and speak to our children today. Our aim should be that they are totally secure in the family and completely comfortable with who they are. Make that one of your goals for 2011.

With the new year ahead – are you scared? It is the most natural feeling to be scared. Here that ‘fear’ comes in again. I sat with Sabrina and explained to her my comment above, that fear should be seen as a challenge. Challenges are exciting and lead to the possibility of growth. Those challenges that are ahead of us should be turned into realistic goals which are divided up into weekly and monthly smaller goals, ultimately culminating in the achievement of the challenge that lies ahead. Often people forget that achieving your dreams is only 5% of the goal/challenge. The other 95% is the trip you take towards achieving it. Hence the importance of breaking it down into numerous manageable goals which are fun – then the whole trip to the final goal becomes a pleasurable experience.

I feel proud that my daughter has realised how materialistic the world has become. Sadly the economic downturn in the last two years has been the only major reason that some people have become aware of the materialist conditioned society we live in. When the economy turns, I wonder if they will fall back into the same rut again? Taking a break now over Christmas I have caught up with many friends on Facebook and have numerous comments about how exciting my life was in 2010 with all my travelling, pics and posts on Facebook. In fact during November at many conferences many people made the same comments. I am always a bit stunned by the fact that people see me as being lucky of having these opportunities. LISTEN! It has nothing to do with luck. It has to do with ‘Thankfullness, Humility and Honesty.’ And guess what, we all have tough times, problems and set backs in life. You aren’t the only one! But when you live your life being honest, humble and grateful, it makes those hurdles easier to jump over. I firmly believe that life gives back to you what you throw at it.

As Sabrina realises at her young age, how many people are thankful for the simple things in life? The fact that you are healthy, have a family and people that love you? A week ago we all spent a day at the beach. On the way home my youngest, Alexis seemed to be down. I asked what was wrong and she said that she was sad the day had come to an end. It was the best day of her life! At 11 even she realises that the latest computer game is not what brings happiness, but time spend with your family enjoying simple pleasures such as walking on the beach and playing in rock puddles. We even bumped into friends at a caravan park – the kinda holiday I wouldn’t have thought about. Did I learn a thing or two. Everyone’s children were playing with each other, families ate meals together around fires and the whole vibe is fantastic. Do you really need that 5 star hotel? I don’t think so! By being thankful for the small things around you they suddenly become big things. I was speaking to a very wealthy lady the other day (own their own private jet). Her daughter has terminal cancer and she flies her around the world looking for a cure. Guess what she said to me? she would give up all her wealth if only her daughter good be healthy!  Mmm – so what are you thankful for?

Humility is a big issue for me in life. Why do you want to keep up with the Jone’s? To be like them or better than them? Why? It’s not going to change who you are! And when you have everything and more – will you really be better? Nothing saddens me more that self centred people (celebrities, senior corporate people, politicians, etc) who think they are better than everyone else. How many real friends do they have? If they lose everything, will all the leeches still be around them? If you treat everyone around you equally and have an attitude of ‘servitude’ rather than one of ‘taking’ – life gives back to you in so many ways. Make it a goal in 2011 to give more and take less. Expect less and savour the moment more. Get over all your political, racial, religious and cultural issues – respect everyone equally – it’s really not that hard to do! Remember that with humility comes contentment and acceptance – surely our world can do with a lot more of that! It all starts with you!

Honesty is the core of my existence. Firstly, and most importantly, be honest with yourself. Only by honestly seeking the answer to happiness in your own heart can you do something about it. Stop letting others tell you how you must feel and behave. Then 2011 won’t be much of a change. In the same vein tell others (family, friends and co-workers) how you really feel. If those around you understand you they may be able to help guide you along your path. But if they only see a ‘front’ – how will they ever know you.

That brings me to the core of Sabrina’s story of Change. Yes the world is changing and it isn’t the same world as even 5 years ago. People are worried what 2011 holds for us all. However, understand that change is what drives progress and builds you as a person. Fear for change comes with insecurity in the self. It all starts with your children. Give them a secure childhood and make them understand that it’s all part of growing up. Then they will only see challenges, rather than fear. And if you find life difficult today, remember it’s all about attitude. To wake up negative involves exactly the same amount of effort as waking up positive – so why not try choosing the latter. It takes 3 weeks to get into a new habit. Make an effort to wake up positive, spend time with family and friends, smile more, look for opportunities in even the bad things around you.Guess what, by the end of this month you be in the habit of seeing life in a more positive light and 2011 can only be great.

How to lead a more fulfilled life and find happiness

1. Stop comparing yourself to others and what the media says you should look and behave like. You will never be happy trying to be like someone else. Look inside your heart and be honest with yourself and find what suits you.  Also remember that we has a society have been conditioned from childhood to behave in a certain way and expect certain things. That’s not the real you. Understand and identify these problems and re-condition yourself to do what make YOU happy. When comparing yourself to others, remember that you never really know what goes on in their minds – usually it’s all a show and a case of keeping up with the Jones’. 99% of the time they are not happy – so why would you want to be like them.

2. In the same vein, envy will destroy you. Believe it or not, you already have all that you need. If you have the love of family and friends, are well fed and warm – what more do you really need? Think about this.

3. Do not, and I repeat, DO NOT live in the past. You cannot change the past. Stop reminding yourself, your partner and others of the things they did wrong. This will ruin any possibility of living in the now and being happy in the moment. Remember that every day well lived today leaves you with good memories of yesterday and much to look forward to tomorrow. It’s all about making peace with the past and realising that you cannot change it. Learn from it and make sure you don’t make the same mistakes again. The most important asset you have is ‘Time’. so stop gossiping and moaning about those people that you don’t like. Are they really worth giving up your life’s time for? Imagine spending the last hour of your life complaining and moaning about someone you don’t like and then you die. Kinda a sad way to go. Personally, I’d rather spend the last hour of my life telling the people close to me how much I love them. Think about it! Forgive everyone for everything – it will release a big burden on your life.

4. When setting goals,keep them realistic and within your limits. Remember, achieving the goal is only 5% of the process. 95% is the journey (planning, preparation and implementation) to get to that final point. Surely it makes sense that that should be a fun and learned process too. This is only possible if you are realistic.

5. Spend time alone to pray/meditate and re-energise. Use this time to dream, be thankful and think about all the goodå things in your life. Remember that NO ONE else except you is in charge of your own happiness. Similarly stop taking yourself too seriously. Start by learning to laugh at yourself and be comfortable with who you are. In school we where taught that failure is bad (another falsehood we were conditioned to learn), however, it is only through failure and mistakes that we learn and grow. It is these mishaps that teaches us and also makes us experts in our field. So realise that life is a school which teaches us new lessons every day. It is OUR choice whether we learn them or not. Remember that pressure is what turns coal into a diamond – problems and mishaps are part of life – they will fade away. It’s he lessons we learn from these that last a lifetime.

6. Learn to laugh more. As children we laugh over 200 times a day, as adults we laugh maybe 10 times a day. What went wrong? The biggest killer today is stress and high blood pressure. Stay away from those tablets – learn to laugh more everyday – it’s the best and healthiest relaxant around. Try make at least one person smile each and every day.

7. Give something to someone every day of your life. And I don’t mean materialistic items. Even if it just an insight, or causing someone to smile, or spending time comforting them. The more you give the more comes back to you.

8. Spend much more time with your family and children. Kids grow up so quick these days. Make those special memories with them while they are young, and…  create special memories of their childhood too! On that note spend more time with people under the age of 6 and over the age of 70 – they kinda put things back into perspective for you.

9. It doesn’t matter how you wake up in the morning. Get up, dress up and and be thankful that you are alive. Arrive where you have to and on time. Do this with a smile on your face and the day WILL become better. When we wake up in the morning, we have two simple choices. Go back to sleep and dream, or wake up and chase those dreams. Choice is yours.  Here’s a great quote to put everything into better perspective, “First I was dying to finish my high school and start college, then I was dying to finish college and start working. Then I was dying to marry and have children. Then I was dying for my children to grow old enough so I could go back to work, but then I was dying to retire, and no I’m dying and suddenly I realize I forgot to live.” NEVER let this happen to you! Learn to live in the moment.

10. Throw away, or get rid of anything that you haven’t used in the last 6 months, isn’t useful or joyful.

And if this is all too much to read, here are short pointers which have been learnt from the elderly.

1. Life may not be fair at times, but it’s still good.

2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.

3. You don’t have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.

4. Cry with someone. It’s more healing than crying alone.

5. Save for retirement starting with your first pay check.

6. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.

7. Make peace with your past so it won’t screw up the present.

8. It’s OK to let your children see you cry.

9. Don’t compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.

10. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn’t be in it.

11. Everything can change in the blink of an eye… never forget this. So learn to enjoy the moment.

12. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.

13. Whatever doesn’t kill you really does make you stronger.

14. It’s never too late to have a happy childhood. But the second one is up to you and no one else.

15. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don’t take no for an answer.

16. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don’t save it for a special occasion. Today is special.

17. Be eccentric now. Don’t wait for old age to wear purple.

18. The most important sex organ is the brain.

19. Frame every so-called mishap with these words, “In five years, will this matter?”

20. Time heals almost everything. Give time time.

21. Believe in miracles.

22. Don’t audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.

23. Growing old beats the alternative… dying young.

24. Your children have only one childhood.

25. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved. Remember that saying… “It is better to have loved than never to have loved at all.”

26. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else’s, we’d grab ours back.

27. The best is yet to come…

28. Life isn’t tied with a bow, but it’s still a gift.”

30. Never explain yourself to any one. Because the person who likes you doesn’t need it, and the person who dislikes you won’t believe it.

31. When you keep saying you are busy then you will never be free, when you keep saying you have no time, then you will never have time, when you keep saying that you will do it tomorrow, then your tomorrow will never come.

32. Don’t make promise when you are in joy. Don’t reply when you are sad. Don’t take decision when you are angry. Think twice … Act wise.

33. Time is like a river. You cannot touch the same water twice, because the flow that has passed will never pass again. Enjoy every moment of life.

34. Never put both feet in your mouth at the same time, because then you will have no leg to stand on.

35. Nobody cares if you can’t dance well – just get up and dance!

36. Learn a lesson from crayons. Some are sharp, some are pretty and some are dull. Some have weird names and all are different colours – but they all manage to love in the same box!

37. A truly happy person is the one that enjoys the scenery on the detour!

38. You maybe only one person in the world, but you may also be the world to one person – never forget that!

Apply these in your life and consider them when you make your New Year’s resolutions, and the year ahead can only become great.

I wish you a restful festive season with much family time and look forward to inspiring you again next year.

ENGLISH

DEUTSCH

AFRIKAANS

Most people today walk around questioning the point of their existence. In fact I am writing a new book called, ‘What is the Point?’ where I believe I am answering this question. The problem is, I have re-written it 5 times! Every time I think I have the answer, someone comes up with a new twist for me. However, early next year I believe I will have it ready. To tackle this topic in a monthly newsletter such as this, with limited space is actually quite difficult, but it also gives me the chance to focus specifically on certain core issues, of which I will cover a few essential tips for you to become more content with who you are and the world we live in. Like anything in life, before you can find the solution, you need to identify the root of the problem. Of course there are many schools of thought on this, but one of the main reasons people are questioning their existence, is because of social conditioning and the technically hectic and advanced world we live in today.

Firstly you need to understand that reality is not about having a Barbie doll figure, driving the latest luxury car, living in a villa by the sea and having tons of money in the bank. That’s what the media and big business want you to believe. The only people fulfilled in life from that philosophy is the companies who sell you all these luxury goods and sucker you out of your hard earned money – and they are doing this extremely well – hence all the internal frustrations people are experiencing today. We all complain that life is moving to fast, but compared to ten years ago, technology has advance at such a rate that we are constantly bombarded with news, marketing and information. Whereas in our parents generation things moved slower and people were more content, as they were not that exposed to all the marketing hype as we are today – the technology wasn’t there. Do yourself a favour and go look on YouTube at some of the videos called, ‘Shift Happens’. That’s ‘Shift’ with an ‘f’. That will put it nicely into perspective for you.

Recently a radio station started a campaign on being more positive and making the country more positive. Hello? Who made everyone negative in the first place? It’s them with their negative news broadcasts! Everything is sensationalism and aimed at stirring emotions. There are two ways to report the news, i.e. 10 killed in horror crash, or Ambulance arrives in 5 minutes and saves 3 lives. Guess which one they always go for? To top it all, they have the nerve to ask the listeners to sms them with their positive ideas. But the sms’s cost a nice sum of money to send. Not only are they part of the problem, now they still make money out of the people falling for their deception. No wonder everyone is confused and feeling down. How many people actually realise what is going on? Furthermore, reality is not sitting in bistro’s and drinking coffee as you see in most soap operas. Reality is also not attending every social bash in your town just to be ‘seen.’ Nor is it going to religious or social gatherings once a week just to see what everyone is wearing! Reading the likes of the ‘People’ magazine and being up to date with which celebrity is doing what and who they are sleeping with, is not reality either! However, I am shocked at how well these publications are doing. Often I see such magazines at someone’s home and make a dry comment, only to get the reply that it was left there by ‘someone else.’ I repeat … if you compare yourself to the Jones’ next door and most of the crazy celebrities out there – you will NEVER lead a fulfilling life.

Wearing the lastest brand name watch or designer label DOES NOT and WILL NEVER make you better than the person who doesn’t. Stop believing the sales pitch you are sold on every commercial you see or hear. Stop being a slave to what society expects you to be. Stop comparing yourself to others and judging who you are according to their standards. The answer lies in looking deep within your own soul. There is a great saying by Goerge Moore, “A man travels the world in search of what he needs, and returns home to find it.” In other words, it takes man a lifetime to realise that the secret to happiness lies within your own heart. It is all about being honest and true to yourself. Keeping up appearances just so that other like and accept you is totally crazy. If someone isn’t prepared to accept you for who you are, is that really a friend? I think not!

I will never forget as a young man when I worked on the luxury passenger liners, I could never understand why the majority of passengers (who were generally all retired people) were negative a aggressive. Let me explain. Here I was as a young man starting out in life and had this opportunity of working on luxury liners and being surrounded by ‘rich’ people. In fact it was that dream life as marketed to me in every magazine and TV advert I had seen as a child. I was suddenly leading the conditioned ideal life, sailing in the Caribbean, eating Caviar, etc. Yet most passengers were bitter and had long faces. It took me months before I actually approached an elderly gentleman and asked him why the majority of people didn’t laugh more? Why most had long faces? They all had money, they were all on the ‘Love Boat’ – what was wrong? I’ll never forget what this man said to me. He said, “I am not happy, because I am alone!” I didn’t understand him at first and asked him to explain what he meant. He then replied that most of his life had been taken up with working and the pursuit of money. He had not been at home much and always worked extra hard to save money for a cruise the day he retired. 5 Years ago his wife passed away unexpectedly and his sons had been killed in Iraq. He had no-one, he was completely alone. Today he was bitter that he had made money his god and not spent more time at home with those he loved and that were important to him. In fact if he could have his life over, money would never have the same hold over him again. His story was re-confirmed to me by everyone I met over the next few months. In fact the majority of people who have reached retirement age have the time to reflect back on their lives and think about those memories that left a lasting impression.

Interestingly enough, the new designer clothes, or the latest computer, or buying the newest car where never mentioned. Oh, they did remember having debt and working hard to pay it off – but can’t really remember for what. However, memories that do come to mind immediately are those of falling in love, their first kiss, the first steps of their children, the holidays they spent together as a family, the first school concert where their daughter was dressed as a flower, etc. They also strongly remember the regret of not attending the sports days of their children, or the graduation ceremony of their son due to ‘work commitments. They regret not forgiving other friends and family members for feuds and disagreements – most of which they cannot recall the reason for happening. They also clearly remembered those that stood by them in times of difficulty. It all boiled down to relationships and social memories that left a lasting impression. So, in answer to how one leads a fulfilled life. Spend more time and make time for those people in your life that are important to you, i.e. family, friends and co-workers.

Yes, money is a reality of the world we live in today – but it does not, nor ever will define your happiness. With all my travels in over 125 countries, people often ask me where the most beautiful place on earth is. Here’s my answer… it’s where I can live with those I love, be healthy and make ends meet – that’s the most beautiful place. If you do allow yourself to be influenced by the media and marketing out there, then you cannot lead a life of fulfilment. Understand the way the world works and understand that the really important things in life that give meaning, are those things that have been given to us for free. Just think of the country you live in and the natural scenery around you – can any man-made item come close to it? Just look at the Grand Canyon, Table Mountain, The Alps, Glacier Bay – you stand in front of these natural wonders in awe. Nothing is as powerful as this. If you start practicing to appreciate the real beauty of the world, and especially the smaller things such as flowers and plants you start becoming more peaceful within yourself. Why do you think the elderly spend so much time in their gardens and appreciate the natural beauty around them? In a similar vein, take any child on a walk in the forest, they will be constantly distracted and fascinated by the plant, animal and insect life. It is a world of magic and wonder for them. Is it still the same for you? If not, you have to sit and re-analyse your life.

Also stop judging people by race, colour and creed and stereotypes. When you meet someone, stop and look inside their soul. Get to know them, what makes them tick, what their desires are. Guess what? You may just see another human being in front of you with the same feelings, desires and dreams as yours- another person who also just wants to be accepted and loved – just like you. If you objectively analyse us humans and what makes most people happy, we are a social species that want to be loved and accepted by others.

Today we don’t even communicate with our children anymore, it’s way easier to put them in front of a computer game than to sit down and play a board game with them. Then we wonder why our children don’t talk to us anymore. Duh? Don’t get me wrong, money, the mass media and technology all have their place in today’s society, but it’s the application of these where things have gone wrong – hence this ever growing feeling amongst people today that something is missing. Most younger people are forever on the run. They just cannot slow down. Ask them why, and they usually don’t have an answer. However, if you as a younger person can grasp and understand the concept that the memories you create now, and the time you spend with family, friends and co-workers – especially the good times – will be the ones that give you wealth later on in life. If you want to enjoy a social night out with close friends, but cannot afford to go to a restaurant, have you ever thought of having a picnic at home? Just put a blanket on the floor in the living room and everyone brings something small, and you just enjoy each other’s company. I challenge you to try that and compare the memory you have of that evening, compared to what you normally do. Look after your body, eat healthy and stay fit. And above all, learn to appreciate those walks on the beach, or in the forest. Learn to appreciate the natural wonder around you. Guess what, suddenly you will become more peaceful within yourself and life will start having meaning.

It’s all about keeping a balance in life. I really don’t see myself as different to anyone else. As a youngster I always wanted to be an entertainer. My typical German family had other plans for me. Even to this day I have relatives asking me when am I going to get a ‘real’ job? My whole life was about following my passion and helping others. Nothing can compare to that feeling. Strange, the universe has looked after me – maybe it’s because I listened to my heart. What is stopping you? I want to end of with a quote from David Germond who said, “When I was young my mother taught me that the secret to life is to be happy. In school my teacher asked me what I wanted to become when I grow up. I said, “I want to be happy!” My teacher replied that I didn’t understand the question. I replied, “You don’t understand life!”

Firstly a big thank you to everyone that sent in suggestions as to topics I should cover … there were so many – I don’t know where to start!

One that caught my attention was, Forgiveness.

This I feel is so important in today’s world if we look at all the wars, general hatred and intolerance towards others that seems to cover most of the news today. Personally I feel that this is one of the major problems among humans, and also plays a large role in why so many people are depressed and despondent about life in general. It’s no use blaming ‘everyone out there’ for all the wrongs in society. The bottom line is that it’s up to you to change and learn the art of forgiveness. It all starts with one person – and that person is you.

However, before I explain how to forgive, please be aware that forgiveness does not mean forgetting, nor does it immediately take away the pain. However,it does start the whole healing process rolling and helps you to cope and release yourself from the burdens & pains of the past, plus it enables you to focus on the positive, rather than the negative.

The first stage in learning forgiveness is to identify it. Many people have become so caught up in hatred, they have forgotten where it all started. Firstly you need to ask yourself honestly who or what it is that you hate? Be completely open and honest? Is it a family member, a co-worker, a politician, or someone that just killed innocent children? Is it because of something that happened to you personally? Or is it as a result of conditioning by those around you or the society you live in?

Then you need to ask yourself why you hate them! Did they do you an injustice? Did they hurt your feelings, or do you simply disagree with their life philosophies? There can be many reasons.

Now comes the reality check, and what I like to see as the ‘fun part’ – try and calculate how much time you actually spend thinking about this person and complaining about them. It may shock you to see how big a part of your life they actually take up!

On that point I need to ask you a question … “What is the one asset in life that once lost, can NEVER be replaced?”

I find during my live seminars that very few people are able to answer this. Most will suggest that it is love, health, respect or even money. Last month I had someone shout out, “Virginity!” That was original, I haven’t laughed that loud in a long time.

The answer is, “Time!”

Why? Quite easy, not one of us knows how long we are going to live. The most valuable thing we have is the time that we are alive on this earth. Yet so many people waste this time on unnecessary things. Just think about the elderly people you know. How many do you know that have regrets for not doing things in their life while they were younger? Many I know regret not asking forgiveness for those they hurt. Others regret their hard headedness for not forgiving those that hurt them.

Do you want to be like that one day? Maybe you are young and already like that!

Look at it this way … if you hate someone and continually complain and moan about that person, what are you doing? You are giving them part of your life’s time on this earth. Are they really worth it? Besides, in many instances they are not even aware of your feelings and the only person being negatively affected is you! Now how dumb is that? You are the only one living with the hurt and pain. That’s just totally crazy!

Here’s a fact – we are all different, and you will always get good and bad people on this earth. You have to accept this. However, I firmly believe that most people are inherently good – it’s just life that has thrown them a curve ball, and they have never had anyone that has helped, or taught them how to deal with it.

At this point most people tend to feel that this is not their problem. Guess what, it is each of our responsibilities to make this earth we live on a better place. If everyone just has the attitude of saying that it’s up to the governments, or our parents – I doubt anything will change. It hasn’t as yet! So something has to be done about it. It’s the same with the AIDS epidemic. People who aren’t HIV positive claim it’s not their problem. Guess what – it is! Because the more people that are infected, the higher medical costs go up for everyone out there, the higher the staff turnover in your company which results in loss of institutional memory, depression amongst workers, higher re-training costs of new employees, etc. It goes on and on.

This is exactly the same with harbouring hatred and not forgiving. Just look at the world we live in today – do you think all the hatred, wars and discrimination are due to forgiveness? I don’t think so! It’s exactly because humanity is not tolerant and does not forgive, but rather lives in the past. If YOU don’t change, how do you think the world will cope? It will just get worse and suddenly all the armageddon predictions may well start to make sense!

Let me simplify hatred for you. Right now you are reading this with your conscious mind. However, all your painful thoughts, issues and naughty fantasies (yes those too) – sit in your subconscious mind. The most powerful of these is the hatred issues. Imagine hatred like a thorn that is clawing into the walls of your subconscious mind. The more you hate, the deeper the thorn digs into that subconscious wall. It’s almost like a catch 22 situation, the more you think about it, the deeper the hatred becomes. Thus the more it controls your life and the more subjective you become in your feelings towards that person or thing.

You need to let go and release the anger, issues and pain of the past. By practicing forgiveness you suddenly learn to live in the now and the present. It is only by living in the present that you can really enjoy life to the fullest.

I know, it’s easier said than done, or is it? I firmly believe in the KISS rule. Do you know it? (Keep It Simple Stupid!) I have also always been a believer in offering solutions that are practical, useable and implimentable. So here is my suggestion to you.

Identify who or what you hate and why.

One thing you cannot change is the past! Come to terms with this and realise that you can start changing your attitude today!

Tomorrow morning when you wake up, the first thing you do it stand next to your bed and visualise the person or thing that your hate in your mind. Once you have done this, imagine pushing that person or thing away from you and forgiving them at the same time. And as you do so, this person or thing disappears into thin air.

Only now do your start your day. Do this EVERY MORNING for THREE WEEKS. Each and every morning imagining yourself pushing this person or thing away and it/they disappear.

Ever heard of the saying that it takes 3 weeks for a habit to embed or release itself from your subconscious mind? This is fact. By you imagining every morning for 3 weeks that you are throwing the hatred way from you and it disappears, you are releasing the grip the thorn has in your subconscious wall. Eventually after 3 weeks you will have let the hatred go, and suddenly you can stand outside yourself and think objectively again. IN fact you will suddenly wake up and feel their is something missing! Yep, it will be the hatred! Now you can use this time on positive things.

If you don’t move on, not only do you make your own life miserable, but also the lives of those around you. You have the choice to live in the past, or to live in the now. This simple exercise helps you release these negative feelings from your subconscious so that you can move on.

I challenge you to try this exercise. If you still display aggressive hatred in 3 weeks from now, you will only have yourself to blame. We can all change the world through practicing love and forgiveness. I am trying to do my bit with the advice I am sharing with you. All you have to do is try the exercise and become part of that change too!

Have an awesome July!

Tony Schwartz is a very smart guy who cuts through the BS. He recently posted a great piece on Huffington Post about our communal attention deficit, which we’ve touched on before. His ideas resonate with the truth of common sense about instant gratification and true fulfillment. He even has some suggestions for us. See the excerpts below.

The Death of Depth: Less and Less of More and More       

By Tony Schwartz

Posted: June 1, 2010 06:00 AM

What’s the longest you’ve gone without checking email during the past month? How many times a day do you interrupt what you’re doing to search Google, or update Facebook, or check stock prices, or buy something online, or skim the headlines?

We all know our attention is under siege. What we underestimate is our capacity to collect it, and the costs if we don’t.

His take on the BIG PROBLEM

Consider these primary symptoms of the disorder known as Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD):

• Often has difficulty in sustaining attention in tasks
• Often does not seem to listen when spoken to directly
• Often has difficulty organizing tasks and activities
• Often avoids, dislikes, or is reluctant to engage in tasks that require sustained mental effort
• Is often easily distracted by extraneous stimuli

Do you know anyone who doesn’t manifest some, even most of these traits? Lamenting the number of emails we receive each day has become a covert way of indicating how important we are, and how urgently busy.

But what is the cost?

Way back in 1971, Nobel Prize winner Herbert Simon saw the tsunami coming. “What information consumes is rather obvious,” he wrote. “It consumes the attention of its recipients. Hence a wealth of information creates a poverty of attention.”

The consequence is that we’re consuming less and less of more and more. We want a little of everything, but not too much of anything. But the ethic of more, bigger, faster generates value that is narrow, shallow and short-term.

Make no mistake: there’s something seductive and even addictive about the instant gratification that tweeting and texting and all the other new technologies facilitate.
But there is also a profound difference between pleasure and satisfaction. We can derive pleasure without much effort – a martini or a cheeseburger can do the trick — but pleasure doesn’t last very long or run very deep.

Satisfaction requires a more significant investment of effort – often to the point of discomfort — but the payoff is deeper and more enduring.

“To be busy and to be connected is to feel alive,” the former Microsoft and Apple researcher Linda Stone has written. “But the consequence is we’re over stimulated, over-wound, and unfulfilled.”

But what can one do?

Ironically, human beings aren’t wired to pay attention for long periods of time. Whether it’s musicians, athletes, chess players or writers, the best performers turn out to
practice no more than four hours a day – not least because it’s so difficult and taxing.
Moreover, they practice in highly focused periods of time no longer than 90 minutes, with a break in between each session.

Performing at the highest level depends not on the ability to juggle multiple demands at the same time, but rather on the capacity to focus intensely for short periods of time, and then rest and rejuvenate.

Attention is like any muscle. It gets stronger by training it systematically. Here are three powerful attentional practices to get you started.

• Set aside at least one designated time each week to think creatively, reflectively, strategically or long term.
• Take at least a half an hour in the evening to read something challenging and absorbing – an antidote to churning out emails, and racing between websites.
• Do the most important thing first every morning, without interruptions, for at least 60 to 90 minutes. It’s the ideal way to take charge of your agenda and get the most challenging work done, with the highest efficiency. That’s exactly what I’ve just done this morning and it was immensely satisfying.

Tony Schwartz is President of The Energy Project, Author of The Way We’re Working Isn’t Working

See the full post at: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/tony-schwartz/self-help-the-death-of-de_b_595720.html

Check out this month’s Quick Tips on History repeating itself. Click on link to watch: English, Afrikaans & German.

Every month it is a task of love for me to put together this ‘Useltter’, this month is no exception. I was about to send it out, when I felt that I had to change it completely and share some extremely personal feelings with you. I have found that my career to date has been good to me for this very reason, I always talk about true personal experiences which many people can relate with, and hence the message is so much more powerful. So bear with me as I throw my thoughts together, more personal than before, and read this months “Useltter’ with the depth and tears I have written it.

It’s the half way point of the year, the World Cup soccer begins in a few days time with excitement in the southern part of the globe, and major economic turmoil in the northern part. Isn’t it strange how at identical times one place can be upbeat, and another a bit depressed? Almost like two sides of a coin. Life tends to be the same, youth is the one side, and old age on the other. When does that coin flip? What are the signs? When it does, will you have regrets or will you be content?

On that note, here’s my only story this month which I received in an email from a friend, and which prompted me to re-write everything:

It was a normal, busy morning, about 8:30 when, Harry, an elderly gentleman, well into his 80′s, arrived at the Hospital, to have stitches removed from his thumb. Harry told me that he was in a hurry as he had an appointment at 9:15 am. I weighed him and took his blood pressure and invited him take a seat in the waiting area, knowing it would be over an hour before someone would be able to see him. I saw him looking at his watch and decided, since I was not busy with another patient, I would evaluate his wound. On examination, it was well healed, so I talked to one of the Doctors, got the needed supplies to remove his sutures and redress his wound.

While taking care of his wound, I asked Harry if he had another doctor’s appointment this morning, as he was in such a hurry. He told me no, but that he needed to go to the Nursing Home to eat breakfast with his wife. I inquired as to her health. He told me that she had been there for a while and that she suffered from Alzheimer’s disease.

As we talked, I asked if she would be upset if he was a little late. He replied that she no longer knew who he was and that she had not recognised him in five years. I was surprised, and asked him, ‘And you still go every morning, even though she doesn’t know who you are?’ He smiled as he patted my hand and said, ‘She doesn’t know me, but I still know who she is.’

I had to hold back tears as Harry left, I had goose bumps on my arm, and thought, ‘That is the kind of love I want in my life.

Why this story?

I just packed up my parents belongings as they have left to go back to their home town. It was an overnight decision and my mom has serious Alzheimers, and declining rapidly. In a few weeks she will most likely be like the lady in the story above. My dad, also not in best of health is still trying to do everything for her and look after her. Of course, being typical German, my dad doesn’t say much and still tries to keep the responsibility to himself. My wife and I do what we can, and were shocked at this overnight decision. I came home from my recent travels and my dad had sold everything and he informed me that he is leaving with my mom

Right now, I am taking a break from going through what’s left of their belongings. I look at the few old photos of me as a child, and a coffee bean grinder my grandmother still used. Although I speak so much of living in the moment and not having regrets in life, I have tears in my eyes as I think of my parents’ life. They were both World War 2 children and experienced all the horrors of war. My dad buried his own mother before he had reached his teens. They fled to South Africa where they met, and had a hard life. In later years when they wanted to retire, my dad got prostrate cancer and my mother ended up with a triple bypass which accelerated her Alzheimers to the situation where she is now. The money they had saved for their retirement, was basically spent on keeping them alive. Today, with the little they have left, they want to move back to their place of birth. Obviously I am doing what I can for them, but my dad’s pride keeps him distanced. The shock of realising that someone you care about won’t be around much longer, is a serious reality check.

I personally practice what I preach, and I truly have no regrets. But I do see regrets in the eyes of my dad. And I sit here and wonder, what did he do wrong? He was always a decent and honest man and really looked after my mother. He did work excessively long hours and I didn’t see him much as a child. If anything, he contributed so much to this world. But today I see a man who has given up. To the point that he has left everything behind, even the family photos. It’s been a long time since I cried. This morning I could no longer hold it in. I am still tearful.

My wife and I have spent the whole morning discussing everything. Where did we go wrong? What could we have done to change anything? Bottom line is we did all we could, but my dad wants to fullfil my mothers wish of her wanting to die in the country she was born.

Here I now sit with my own family and work commitments. Obviously I will now visit my parents as often as I can, but I question why life has worked out the way it did for them. Where they were 5 minutes down they road, they are now a 14 hour flight away. Now comes the point where I have to analyse my own life, my family and my work. I have to ask myself whether I personally will have any regrets one day when I am older. What memories will my children have of my wife and I one day?

So this month I want to talk to you from the heart.

If your parents are still alive, when last did you really talk to them and tell them that you love them? Or if you have any issues, forgiven them. The day they are no longer here, what memories will you have? Or, as in the story, what happens if one of them gets Alzheimers and doesn’t even remember you? Then you cannot say all those things that have been on your mind for all those years. Happily I can say that I was fortunate enough to have the insight to share all with my parents and tell them regularly that I love them.

I often talk about being “Thankful”. I also often feel that 95% of the people don’t fully comprehend or understand this concept. Are you thankful for all the precious moments you have spent with those you care for?

Way to often we get caught up in all the negativity going on this globe today. Yes, the world is a tough place, it’s becoming more impersonal, greed and money driven by the day. In my opinion, politicians world-wide are corrupt and only interested in lining their own pockets – just look at the Europe economic crises right now. What about South Africa and the World Cup? Suddenly poor unemployed people are being rounded up by local councels to help clean the dirt all around – all to create a politically correct ‘clean’ impression of the country. Why can’t this be done every day, even when there is no world event? – you know the answer! The papers won’t even print my readers letter on the subject. It is sickening what is going on. Yet the world still turns, the days still go by, and we all have to live in it. On top of this we still have personal and family issues to cope with.

However! You have two choices, make the most of every moment, or get brought down by all the negativity. Some people will live lives of luxury and remain healthy until the day they die. Others will be given a raw deal. That’s just the way it is. You can philosophise all you want, but that’s the reality – two sides of a coin.

Apparently 200 000 people are born every day, that’s a million in less than a week. Are we becoming like ants? Merely infesting the earth and using up it’s resources. Is our life as that insignificant?

YOU can decide how you want to live and what your attitude to all of this will be. If life has dealt you a bad hand of cards, you can decide to take it for what it is, or you can decide to play that bad hand well.

You can take the responsibility for your own life right now and decide that you will change. I doubt the world is going to change for you. For thousands of years and for may years to come, I think the same corruption, hatred and fighting will continue. (Unless you believe in the 2012 school of thought that people will become enlightened and start reaching a new level of consciousness). But, you can decide whether you want to be part of it or not.

It all starts with your family. No matter how your parents brought you up, good or bad, they are your parents. If you have issues with them, sort them out now. The day they die it will be too late.

If you feel your parents never gave you the childhood you deserved, guess what, you can’t change that! They lived in different times and different mind sets. Forgive them and make the most of the time you have left with them.

Above all, learn from their mistakes and don’t do the same with your children. The day your children look into your eyes when you are 75 – do you want them to see regret, or do you want then to see contentment and happiness which they can build on in their lives?

If you share love and openness with your children, and create good memories right now today, then you may well be able to change the future world out there.

Look at our modern lives – we have been brought up to hoard, keep up with the neighbours and above all, let materialism rule our lives. This week has been a nice reality check for me. They say that you reach a point in life when you are older that you give everything away.

Although I try practice a life of non materialism and often talk about it in my Keynotes, it hits a nerve when you start packing up your parents stuff and realise that we come into this world with nothing, and leave with nothing. That’s when the questions start screwing with your mind … what’s the point of working hard for stuff that you are only going to enjoy for a short period of time? And is that what enjoyment is really about, or have we been conditioned by the media and governments to believe this lie? Why do people become slaves to their cars and TV’s and make debt to have stuff which doesn’t really bring true enjoyment? People use up their life’s time to save up for a computer that will be outdated before they have even finished paying it off. What kind of weird logic is that? They will save up and work over-time to pay off a car, just to maintain an image, but in the interim won’t have time to watch their child win a sports game for his team. Which do you think is more important?

As someone recently put it to me: it’s all a lie sold to us by governments who want us to have debt so that we are forced to work so that we can pay tax in order for them to create wars, line their own pockets and be corrupt. Whether you agree or not – it’s food for thought!

It makes me think of John Lennon’s song, “Imagine”. If you don’t recall the words, listen to it again. He was far ahead of his time and his words ring so true to anyone who is just a little enlightened.

Stop following the masses. Stop being a slave to the media and what society says you must do. You will NEVER find true happiness! Can you be happy with nothing? Imagine there was an earthquake tomorrow and you lost your home and all your possessions. All you have was your spouse, children and parents. Could you be happy then? If not – I seriously suggest you re-analyse your life. Stop letting the corruption of the modern world mess with your mind. Sit down with those you love one night and ask the question, “Imagine we lost everything we had, and only had each other, what would make us happy? You may be surprised at the answers your children will come up with!

Believe it or not, I am trying to be inspirational here. My message is that no matter what life throws at you – you are responsible for the memories you have when it comes to an end. Are your going to let all those outside influences get you down and control who you really are within, or are you going to create brilliant memories.

Remember, every today well spent, leaves you with a good memory of yesterday, and a positive hope for the future.

Have a memorable June.

Last month I shot a new promotional video for the Orion Organisation in Atlantis in the Western Cape in South Africa. They work with disabled people and assist them in many ways, from children to adults. For the adults the have work projects where the empower these people to be part of society and build their self worth. It is indeed an wonderful place with many caring people. It is sad when I look at how little (surprise?) the government does to support such decent endeavors. However, the people who work there are truly changing the world, and the perception of these wonderful people. During the last month while collecting footage and editing everything, it reminded me once again, how grateful we should all be for what we have. Way to often we complain and moan about life, rather than looking at what is going on around us, and at how many less fortunate people their are in the world than you.

On my You Tube channel you can watch Free Quick tips. This month I have the following videos for you (simply click on the link to view):

English: Authenticity, Thankfulness, Tips when attending Conferences

Afrikaans: Egtheid, Dankbaarheid, Wenke by die bywoning van konferensies

German: Authentizität, Dankbarkeit, Tipps zum Besuch von Konferenzen

Hence this month I want to concentrate on ‘Thankfulness’ and being thankful for what we have. Before I do so, just have a look at these alarming statistics below:

If you could fit the entire population of the world into a village consisting of 100 people, maintaining the proportions of all the people living on Earth, that village would consist of:

57 Asians


21 Europeans


14 Americans (North, Central and South)

8 Africans

There would be: 


52 women and 48 men  


30 Caucasians and 70 non-Caucasians 


30 Christians and 70 non-Christians


89 heterosexuals and 11 homosexuals

6 people would possess 59% of the wealth and they would all come from the USA

80 would live in poverty

70 would be illiterate

50 would suffer from hunger and malnutrition 


1 would be dying, 
1 would be being born,  
1 would own a computer

1 (yes, only one) would have a university degree

If we looked at the world in this way, the need for acceptance and understanding would

be obvious. But, consider again the following:

If you woke up this morning in good health, you have more luck than one million people, who won’t live through the week.

If you have never experienced the horror of war, the solitude of prison, the pain of torture, were not close to death from starvation, then you are better off than 500 million people.

If you can go to your place of worship without fear that someone will assault or kill you, then you are luckier than 3 billion (that’s right) people.

If you have a full fridge, clothes on your back, a roof over your head and a place to sleep, you are wealthier than 75% of the world’s population.

If you currently have money in the bank, in your wallet and a few coins in your purse, you are one of 8 of the privileged few amongst the 100 people in the world.

If your parents are still alive and still married, you’re a rare individual.

So, if you woke up in a foul mood this morning, my questions to you now are, “Is your life really so bad?  When last have you given thanks for everything you have?” Makes you think doesn’t it?

Let me get back to those disabled people out there that cannot care for themselves. Imagine you, or your child was disabled, “How would you see the world and others around you?”  I dare say that you would become so more more aware of just how few people are genuine, and really care about their fellow man. It’s time to change that … and you can be  part of that change. Here’s a great story:

Two Choices

Don’t look for a punch line, there isn’t one. Read it anyway. My question is: Would you have made the same choice?

At a fundraising dinner for a school that serves children with learning disabilities, the father of one of the students delivered a speech that would never be forgotten by all who attended. After extolling the school and its dedicated staff, he offered a question:

 “When not interfered with by outside influences, everything nature does, is done with perfection.

Yet my son, Shay, cannot learn things as other children do. He cannot understand things as other children do.

 Where is the natural order of things in my son?” The audience was stilled by the query.


 The father continued. “I believe that when a child like Shay, who was mentally and physically disabled comes into the world, an opportunity to realize true human nature presents itself, and it comes in the way other people treat that child.” 

Then he told the following story:




Shay and I had walked past a park where some boys Shay knew were playing baseball. Shay asked, “Do you think they’ll let me play?” I knew that most of the boys would not want someone like Shay on their team, but as a father I also understood that if my son were allowed to play, it would give him a much-needed sense of belonging and some confidence to be accepted by others in spite of his handicaps.



I approached one of the boys on the field and asked (not expecting much) if Shay could play. The boy looked around for guidance and said, “We’re losing by six runs and the game is in the eighth inning. I guess he can be on our team and we’ll try to put him in to bat in the ninth inning.’” Shay struggled over to the team’s bench and, with a broad smile, put on a team shirt. I watched with a small tear in my eye and warmth in my heart. The boys saw my joy at my son being accepted.

In the bottom of the eighth inning, Shay’s team scored a few runs but was still behind by three.

 In the top of the ninth inning, Shay put on a glove and played in the right field. Even though no hits came his way, he was obviously ecstatic just to be in the game and on the field, grinning from ear to ear as I waved to him from the stands.

 In the bottom of the ninth inning, Shay’s team scored again.

 Now, with two outs and the bases loaded, the potential winning run was on base, and Shay was scheduled to be next at bat.

 At this juncture, do they let Shay bat and give away their chance to win the game?

 Surprisingly, Shay was given the bat.

Everyone knew that a hit was all but impossible because Shay didn’t even know how to hold the bat properly, much less connect with the ball.

 However, as Shay stepped up to the

plate, the pitcher, recognizing that the other team was putting winning aside for this moment in Shay’s life, moved in a few steps to lob the ball in softly, so Shay could at least make contact.

 The first pitch came and Shay swung clumsily and missed.

The pitcher again took a few steps forward to toss the ball softly towards Shay.

 As the pitch came in, Shay swung at the ball and hit a slow ground ball right back to the pitcher.

 The game would now be over.

 The pitcher picked up the soft grounder and could have easily thrown the ball to the first baseman.

 Shay would have been out and that would have been the end of the game.



Instead, the pitcher threw the ball right over the first baseman’s head, out of reach of all team mates.

 Everyone from the stands and both teams started yelling, “Shay, run to first!

Run to first!’
” Never in his life had Shay ever run that far, but he made it to first base.

He scampered down the baseline, wide-eyed and startled.

 Everyone yelled, “Run to second, run to second!’
” Catching his breath, Shay awkwardly ran towards second, gleaming and struggling to make it to the base.

 By the time Shay rounded towards second base, the right fielder had the ball – the smallest guy on their team who now had his first chance to be the hero for his team.

 He could have thrown the ball to the second-baseman for the tag, but he understood the pitcher’s intentions so he, too, intentionally threw the ball high and far over the third-baseman’s head.



Shay ran toward third base deliriously as the runners ahead of him circled the bases toward home.

 All were screaming, “Shay, Shay, Shay, all the Way Shay.” Shay reached third base because the opposing shortstop ran to help him by turning him in the direction of third base, and shouted, “Run to third!

 Shay, run to third!” 

As Shay rounded third, the boys from both teams, and the spectators, were on their feet screaming, “Shay, run home! Run home!’
” Shay ran to home, stepped on the plate, and was cheered as the hero who hit the grand slam and won the game for his team.

”That day,” said the father softly with tears now rolling down his face, “the boys from both teams helped bring a piece of true love and humanity into this world.” 

Shay didn’t make it to another summer. He died that winter, having never forgotten being the hero and making me so happy, and coming home and seeing his Mother tearfully embrace her little hero of the day!



We all have thousands of opportunities every single day to help realize the ‘natural order of things.’

 So many seemingly trivial interactions between two people present us with a choice: Do we pass along a little spark of love and humanity or do we pass up those opportunities and leave the world a little bit colder in the process?

 A wise man once said every society is judged by how it treats it’s least fortunate amongst them.

I trust that the above has put a different perspective into your life and will inspire you to be thankful for everything you have. I am going to end of on a lighter note, (As you know, I enjoy humor and incorporating it into my messages), yet still staying with the theme. But this time it’s about being thankful for being young and healthy. Make the most of your youth and savor every moment – one day it could be different!

Scotch with two drops of water



A lady goes to the bar on a cruise ship and orders a Scotch with two 

drops of water. As the bartender gives her the drink she says,

 “I’m on this cruise to celebrate my 80th birthday and it’s today…” The bartender says, “Well, since it’s your birthday, I’ll buy you a drink.
In fact, this one is on me.”As the woman finishes her drink, the woman to her right says, “I would
 like to buy you a drink, too.’
” The old woman says, “Thank you. Bartender, I want a Scotch with two 

drops of water.’

’

“Coming up,” says the bartender. 

As she finishes that drink, the man to her left says, “I would like to
buy you one, too.’” The old woman says, “Thank you. Bartender, I want another Scotch with 

two drops of water.’

“Coming right up,” the bartender says.

 As he gives her the drink, he asks, “Ma’am, I’m dying of curiosity. Why 

the Scotch with only two drops of water?”

The old woman replies, “Sonny, when you’re my age, you’ve learned how 

to hold your liquor. Holding your water, however, is a whole other issue!”

Okay one more …

A group of 40 year old buddies discuss and discuss where they should meet for dinner. Finally it is agreed upon that they should meet at the Gausthof zum Lowen restaurant because the waitress’s there have low cut blouses. 



10 years later, at 50 years of age, the group meets again and once again they discuss and discuss where they should meet. Finally it is agreed that they should meet at the Gausthof zum Lowen because the food there is very good and the wine selection is good also.



10 years later at 60 years of age, the group meets again and once again they discuss and discuss where they should meet. Finally it is agreed that they should meet at the Gausthof zum Lowen because they can eat there in peace and quiet and the restaurant is smoke free.



10 years later, at 70 years of age, the group meets again and once again they discuss and discuss where they should meet. Finally it is agreed that they should meet at the Gausthof zum Lowen because the restaurant is wheel chair accessible and they even have an elevator.



10 years later, at 80 years of age, the group meets again and once again they discuss and discuss where they should meet. Finally it is agreed that they should meet at the Gausthof
 zum Lowen because that would be a great idea because they have never been there before.

Have a wonderful May and be thankful every day.


Check out my You Tube quick tips this month of ‘De-Stressing’, shot in a safari park in South Africa. Click on your language of choice: English,Afrikaans, German

How do you wake up in the morning? Depressed or happy? There are many reasons people don’t look forward to their day, yet there are many simple solutions to that problem. One, is to be thankful as you open your eyes, especially for the things we take for granted. It kinda puts things and life into perspective and makes you realise that we have many reasons to be happy. Here’s an sms I received from a friend on a conference this month which I thought really brings this point across well.

BE THANKFUL

The only time you appreciate what you have is when you loose it. Be grateful today for all the universe has given you; parents, health, wealth, peace, dignity, home servants, world comforts, beautiful healthy children and friends. You have been blessed with more, than most people in this world. Remember, what we have today, you can loose tomorrow. Never take for granted all the things in your life, and most of all, enjoy what you have every day.

I though this very interesting. Who is grateful for peace and dignity? These are things we all take for granted … but we shouldn’t. There are countries on this globe where those things don’t exist! What I found was powerful was the sentence, “What we have today, we can loose tomorrow.” I keep on talking in my Keynotes about the most precious asset we have in life – TIME – don’t take your time on this earth for granted and realise that NOW is the time to enjoy. Give thanks to those little things that brighten up your day, a smile shared with a stranger, a hug from your child, or even a joke shared amongst friends. Guess what? This keeps you humble and appreciative. Way to often we take everything for granted and expect. If you look at 90% of the problems around you, it’s because of expectations. Stop expecting, give more and be thankful for everything you have. Suddenly you’ll find that life becomes more meaningful.

SAVOUR EVERY MOMENT

One day a woman’s husband died, and on that clear, cold morning, in the warmth of their bedroom, the wife was struck with the pain of learning that sometimes there isn’t “anymore”. No more hugs, no more special moments to celebrate together, no more phone calls just to chat, no more “just one minute.” Sometimes, what we care about the most gets all used up and goes away, never to return before we can say good-bye, say “I love you.”

So while we have it, it’s best we love it, care for it, fix it when it’s broken and heal it when it’s sick. This is true for marriage……And old cars… And children with bad report cards, and dogs with bad hips, and ageing parents and grandparents. We keep them because they are worth it, because we are worth it.

Some things we keep — like a best friend who moved away, or a sister-in-law after divorce. There are just some things that make us happy, no matter what. 

Life is important, like people we know who are special. And so, we keep them close!

Suppose one morning you never wake up, do all your friends know you love them? 

I was thinking…I could die today, tomorrow or next week, and I wondered if I had any wounds needing to be healed, friendships that needed rekindling, or three words needing to be said.

 Let every one of your friends know you love them. Even if you think they don’t love you back, you would be amazed at what those three little words and a smile can do.

And just in case I’m gone tomorrow.

.. Live today because tomorrow is not promised.

On another note, stop giving up so quickly and complaining about everything around you. Once you appreciate what you have, it kinda opens a new door in your mind and makes you realise that you must take responsibility for your own life and put 100% into every opportunity that comes your way. Even my two girls, just spending time tickling them, or being silly together, I am thankful for that time. But above all, even they are too, Before they go to sleep, they say how grateful they are for the good times we spend together during the day. And because of this, my oldest daughter, who turns 13 this month is now training for the olympic gymnastics. I am in awe of the dedication and discipline she has (My wife and I must be doing something right). She has really learnt the concept of being thankful and trying and trying again until you get it right. How many adults today understand this. Here is a wonderful story by an unknown author about being successful. Maybe you can share this lesson with your children.

LAW OF THE SEED

Take a look at an apple tree. There might be five hundred apples on the tree, but each apple has ten seeds. That’s a lot of seeds! 
We might ask, “Why would you need so many seeds to grow just a few more apple trees?” Nature has something to teach us here. It’s telling us: “Not all seeds grow”. In life, most seeds never grow. So if you really want to make something happen, you had better try more than once.” 

This might mean:
You’ll attend twenty interviews to get one job. You’ll interview forty people to find one good employee. You’ll talk to fifty people to sell one house, one car, one vacuum cleaner, one insurance policy, or a business idea. And you might meet a hundred acquaintances just to find one special friend .

When we understand the “Law of the Seed”, we don’t get so disappointed. We stop feeling like victims. We learn how to deal with things that happen to us. Laws of nature are not things to take personally. We just need to understand them – and work with them.

IN A NUTSHELL: Successful people fail more often. But they plant more seeds. 

When Things Are Beyond your control, here’s something that you must NOT DO so as to be happy: You must not decide how you think the world SHOULD be. You must not make rules for how everyone SHOULD behave.

Many times, such thoughts can bring you spiralling down into more unhappiness. On the other hand, let’s say you expect that:

Friends SHOULD return favours

People SHOULD appreciate you.

Planes SHOULD arrive on time.

Everyone SHOULD be honest.

Your husband, partner or best friend SHOULD remember your birthday.

These expectations may sound reasonable. But often, these things won’t happen! So you end up frustrated and disappointed. There’s a better strategy. Demand less, and instead, have preferences! For things that are beyond your control, tell yourself: 

”I WOULD PREFER “A”, BUT IF “B” HAPPENS, IT’S OK TOO!” 
You prefer that people are polite… but when they are rude, it doesn’t ruin your day.
 You prefer sunshine.. but if it rains, it is ok too!

To become happier, we either need to:

a) Change the world, or

b) Change our thinking.

It is easier to change our Thinking! 

IN A NUTSHELL:
It is not the problem that is the issue, but rather it is your attitude attending to the problem that is the problem. It’s not what happens to you that determine your happiness, but rather how you think about what happens to you!

Have an awesome month.

Yes the FIFA world cup spirit in South Africa definitely has started to rub off on the world. I launched a new inspirational talk, called “Become a World Player’ and it is becoming a winner. (Excuse the pun!) I am also launching a new book, together with 3 fellow speakers, called “You Can!”. That will be launched towards the middle of the February.

Education has become a problem world wide, and towards the end of last year we shot a DVD, called ‘Study Methods’ aimed at school children up to Grade 4, teaching fun, basic study skills … and of course there’s some magic too. The Department of Education has given it ‘thumbs up’, ”We are positive that this educational tool would be of great value to all our learners.” So, if you want to give your children that extra start in school – click here.

It’s been a bit of a hectic time for me during the last few weeks, but still managed to get in one free Quick Tips video this month on finding your passion again. If you want to view it, click here for English, German & Afrikaans. Don’t forget that you can view lots of Quick tips on my free You Tube Channel, ‘inspiringtheworld.’

Welcome to the month of Love, February. It’s not only a time to celebrate love, but to reflect on how we practice love in our loves. Not only towards our partners, but our family and humanity in general. Thus my stories this month are for you to reflect your inner feelings and find that true unconditional love again, so that you can make a difference in the world.

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The Young Man and the Starfish

Once upon a time there was a wise man who used to go to the ocean to do his journal writing. He had a habit of walking on the beach before he began his work. One day he was walking along the shore. As he looked down the beach, he saw a human figure moving like a dancer. He smiled to himself to think of someone who would dance to the day. So he began to walk faster to catch up.

As he got closer, he saw that it was a young man and the young man wasn’t dancing, but instead he was reaching down to the shore, picking up something and very gently throwing it into the ocean. As he got closer he called out, “Good morning! What are you doing?” The young man paused, looked up and replied, “Throwing starfish in the ocean.” “I guess I should have asked, why are you throwing starfish in the ocean?” “The sun is up, and the tide is going out. And if I don’t throw them in they’ll die.”

“But, young man, don’t you realize that there are miles and miles of beach, and starfish all along it. You can’t possibly make a difference!” The young man listened politely. Then bent down, picked up another starfish and threw it into the sea, past the breaking waves and said, “It made a difference for that one.”

There is something very special in each and every one of us. We have all been gifted with the ability to make a difference. And if we can become aware of that gift, we gain through the strength of our visions the power to shape the future. We must each find our starfish. And if we throw our stars wisely and well, the world will be blessed.

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As we get into the year, many people are re-assessing their lives and searching for inner happiness. Thus I feel that the following philosophical quotes may help you to find the answers you seek.

20 Thought-provoking Quotations

1. The meaning of life is to give life meaning. You can do this by sharing love with all those around you.

2. Find something you love to do and you’ll never have to work a day in your life. I am living proof of this. People always ask me how do you do it? The busy schedule, the global travelling? Easy, I love what I do, hence to me it isn’t work, but play/ Follow your heart and life looks after you.

3. If someone seeks advice, give them direction, not correction. Stop forcing your opinions on others, rather steer them in the right direction where they might find the answers they are looking for.

4. Do not let what you cannot do interfere with what you can do. Focus on the things you are good at and love doing, in that way you will reach your goals faster.

5. To live a creative life, we must lose our fear of being wrong. The most successful people in the world have made many more mistakes and experienced far more failure than the rest. Yet they have never seen this as negative. Instead they have seen these setbacks as learned experiences to make them grow. To quote my favorite saying from Thomas Eddison, “I have not failed, I just found 10000 way that don’t work!”

6. Positive thinking will let you do everything better than negative thinking will. Duh! How long is it going to take for everyone to understand this? Stop reading the first 3 pages in the newspaper and watching negative news reports on TV – this all affects your thoughts. Pro-actively follow and seek the positive in your life. It DOES make a difference!

7. You can’t make someone else’s choices. You shouldn’t let someone else make yours. Follow your heart and look within yourself when making a decision. Decide what’s best for you, not what others tell you. And again, don’t force your views onto others. Let them search their own heart, and if needs be – steer them in the right direction without forcing your views.

8. Even a fool knows you can’t reach the stars, but that doesn’t stop a wise man from trying. No matter how many set backs you have in life, NEVER stop trying. The difference between success and failure, is that people who failed, stopped dreaming and trying.

9. When an affliction happens to you, you either let it defeat you, or you defeat it. There is a saying, “If you think you can – you will. If you think you can’t – don’t bother!” Believe in yourself and you will defeat all obstacles.

10. You can do what you want to do. You can be what you want to be. It’s all about attitude and belief in yourself. And by following what’s in your heart and doing what you love – it becomes so much easier.

11. A man with one watch knows what time it is, A man with two watches is never quite sure. Don’t over complicate your life. Keep it simple!

12. Don’t look where you fall, but where you slipped. Be honest with yourself if things don’t go as planned. In such an sinatnce, don’t blame others, but take responsibilty for your own actions, and go back and identify the mistakes you made … and correct them.

13. Look at life through the wind-shield, not through the rear view mirror. What is it with the world living in the past? You will NEVER get ahead in life if you always look behind you. You cannot change the past. What’s so difficult to understand here? What happened yesterday is history. Nothing can change that. The ONLY thing you can do is learn from it and make sure it never happens again. To find happiness and success you must live in the NOW!

14. People may doubt what you say, but they never doubt what you do. Fact! Your inner thoughts and feelings will always be manifested in your body language, posture and expressions. No matter what ‘front’ you want to show the outer world, there are always those who can see what you are really feeling, by looking at your behaviour and body language. Therefore it is imperative in life to follow your inner heart and do what you love. Only then will it show on the outside. And then this positive radiation can rub off on everyone around you.

15. Be nice to people on the way up, because you may need them on the way down. Everything is about that ‘Circle of Life’. Look at the recession, every few years there is one, but afterwards there is always an upturn. Somewhere in your life you may well lose direction and fall. Will the people there help pick you up again? If you treated them well during your first trip, odds are they will help you back onto the road to recovery. If you didn’t treat them well …

16. While seeking revenge, dig two graves ……… one for yourself. What comes around, goes around! I have seen this over and over in my life. Let it go, revenge only breeds hatred and contempt. Love conquors all, don’t stoop to the level of those that did you in. Remember, it is them you gave out the negative energy. The universe wills end it back to them in tenfold. Surely you don’t want any negativity coming back to you too?

17. Time you enjoyed wasting ……… was not wasted. What happened to keeping a balance in life? You cannot constantly be on the run. You need to be selfish and take time for YOURSELF occasionaly as well. It does you the world of good.

18. Courage is not lack of fear, but the ability to act while facing fear. You can only face fear if you are confident and happy within yourself. Because, when you follow your heart, your fear nothing, but see it all as an adventure to attaining your dreams.

19. You’ve got to do your own growing, no matter how tall your father is. Stop reading the tabloids and gossip magazines! You complain that your life isn’t panning out the way you want it to be, yet you set your goals and dreams by trying to be like drugged out celebrities with no brains! If you are going to follow a role model in life, I doubt very much they will appear in gossip magazines! Read the biographies of decent people, people who changed the world for the better. Then take their philosophies and the applicable lessons to your life and grow inyour own direction.

20. The best way to predict your future, is to create it. By living every day in the moment, and to the fullest, you are creating great memories of yesterday and therefore look forward to tomorrow. You can only do this if you do what you love, practice love and be content with who you are. Only then can you find meaning for yourself. Only then do you discover who you really are. Only then can you plan a life of true meaning and contentment.

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Finally I would like to finish off this month’s ‘Useletter’ with a poem on love by an unkown author.

I Believe

I believe in miracles and dreams that will come true.

I believe in tender moments and friendship, through and through.

I believe in stardust and moonbeams all aglow.

I believe there’s magic and more there than we know.

I believe in reaching out and touching from the heart.

I believe that if we touch a gift we can impart.

I believe that if you cry, your tears are not in vain.
And when you’re sad and lonely, others know your pain.

I believe that when we laugh a sparkle starts to shine.

And I just know that spark will spread from more hearts than just mine.

I believe that hidden in the quiet of the night,
there’s magic moths and gypsies a fairy and a sprite.

I believe that if you dance the dances of your heart,
that greater happiness will find a brand new way to start.

I believe the gifts you have are there for you to share.
And when you give them from the heart, the whole world knows you care.

I believe that if you give, even just to one, 
that gift will grow in magnitude before the day is done.

I believe that comfort comes from giving part of me.

And if I share with others, there’s more for all to see.

I believe that love is still the greatest gift of all, 
and when it’s given from the heart then not one of us will fall.

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Finally here is some advice an old school friend send to me on email. I found it interesting and thought I would share it with you, seeing that you read all the way to the end.

ONIONS

In 1919 when the flu killed 40 million people, there was a Doctor who visited many farmers to see if he could help them combat the flu. Many of the farmers and their family had contracted it, and many died.

The doctor came upon one farmer, and to his surprise, everyone in the household was very healthy. When the doctor asked what the farmer was doing that was different, the wife replied that she had placed an unpeeled onion in a dish in the rooms of the home (probably only two rooms back then). The doctor couldn’t believe it and asked if he could have one of the onions and place it under the microscope. She gave him one, and when he did this, he did find the flu virus in the onion. It obviously absorbed the bacteria, therefore, keeping the family healthy.

Now, I heard this story from my hairdresser in AZ. She said that several years ago many of her employees were coming down with the flu and so were many of her customers. The next year she placed several bowls with onions around in her shop. To her surprise, none of her staff got sick. It must work… (And no, she is not in the onion business.)

The moral of the story is, buy some onions and place them in bowls around your home. If you work at a desk, place one or two in your office or under your desk or even on top somewhere. Try it and see what happens. We did it last year, and we never got the flu.

If this helps you and your loved ones from getting sick, all the better. If you do get the flu, it just might be a mild case…Whatever, what have you to lose? Just a few bucks on onions!

Now there is a P.S. to this, for I sent it to a friend in Oregon who regularly contributes material to me on health issues. She replied with this most interesting experience about onions:

Thanks for the reminder. I don’t know about the farmer’s story…but I do know that I contracted pneumonia, and needless to say I was very ill…I came across an article that said to cut both ends off an onion. Put one end on a fork, and then place the forked end into an empty jar…placing the jar next to the sick patient at night. It said the onion would be black in the morning from the germs. Sure enough, it happened just like that…the onion was a mess, and I began to feel better.

Another thing I read in the article was that onions and garlic placed around the room saved many from the black plague years ago. They have powerful antibacterial, antiseptic properties.

This is the other note:

LEFTOVER ONIONS ARE POISONOUS!

I have used an onion which has been left in the fridge. Sometimes I don’t use a whole one at one time, so I save the other half for later. Now with this info, I have changed my mind. I will buy smaller onions in the future. I had the wonderful privilege of touring Mullins Food Products, makers of mayonnaise. Mullins is huge, and is owned by 11 brothers and sisters in the Mullins family. My friend, Jeanne, is the CEO.

Questions about food poisoning came up, and I wanted to share what I learned from a chemist.

The guy who gave us our tour is named Ed. He’s one of the brothers. Ed is a chemistry expert and is involved in developing most of the sauce formula. He’s even developed sauce formula for McDonald’s.

Keep in mind that Ed is a food chemistry whiz. During the tour, someone asked if we really needed to worry about mayonnaise. People are always worried that mayonnaise will spoil. Ed’s answer will surprise you. Ed said that all commercially-made mayo is completely safe.

“It doesn’t even have to be refrigerated. No harm in refrigerating it, but it’s not really necessary.” He explained that the pH in mayonnaise is set at a point that bacteria could not survive in that environment. He then talked about the quintessential picnic, with the bowl of potato salad sitting on the table and how everyone blames the mayonnaise when someone gets sick.

Ed says that when food poisoning is reported, the first thing the officials look for is when the ‘victim’ last ate ONIONS and where those onions came from (in the potato salad?). Ed says it’s not the mayonnaise (as long as it’s not homemade mayo) that spoils in the outdoors. It’s probably the onions, and if not the onions, it’s the POTATOES.

He explained, onions are a huge magnet for bacteria, especially uncooked onions. You should never plan to keep a portion of a sliced onion. He says it’s not even safe if you put it in a zip-lock bag and put it in your refrigerator.

It’s already contaminated enough just by being cut open and out for a bit, that it can be a danger to you (and doubly watch out for those onions you put in your hotdogs at the baseball park!)

Ed says if you take the leftover onion and cook it like crazy you’ll probably be okay, but if you slice that leftover onion and put it on your sandwich, you’re asking for trouble. Both the onions and the moist potato in a potato salad will attract and grow bacteria faster than any commercial mayonnaise will even begin to break down.

So, how’s that for news? Take it for what you will. I (the author) am going to be very careful about my onions from now on. For some reason, I see a lot of credibility coming from a chemist and a company that produces millions of pounds of mayonnaise every year. Also, dogs should never eat onions. Their stomachs cannot metabolize onions.

Please remember it is dangerous to cut onions and try to use it to cook the next day. I t becomes highly poisonous for even a single night and creates toxic bacteria which may cause adverse stomach infections because of excess bile secretions and even food poisoning.

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I have launched two new sets of Keynotes for this year, One around the Word Cup Soccer theme (Become a World Player), and achieving your goals, plus a talk on Sales and soft skills. Keen to book me at your next conference – email me.

This month’s free You Tube Quick tips are:(Simply click on titles to watch)

English: Find Inner Peace again

Afrikaans: Vind Weer Innerlike Rus

Deutsch: Finden Sie Ihre Innere Ruhe

I was visiting with some friends in Frankfurt when I was reminded of my January 2009 logo – two thousand and mine. We all agreed that it felt like it was a month ago. Where has the year gone? How was your two thousand and mine? Will 2010 be all you expect it to be? It can be …. but that depends on you, and your attitude. My wish for you this year is a POSITIVE attitude coupled with much health and everything else you set your mind on. It’s all good and well to talk about success, wealth and all the good things in life, but none of these are possible without health, and above all, a healthy mind. On that note, let’s talk about health first. With the right attitude you can be healthy.

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If you don’t want to be ill in 2010, there are a few things you need to do:

1. Speak and verbalize your thoughts and feelings. Keeping things bottled up inside only causes distress, ulcers, pains and illness. Get rid of all those hidden, repressed feelings by expressing them. Make a point of spending time with your spouse, or close friend by talking to them about these things. Speech is a powerful and excellent self therapy.

2.Make decisions. People who cannot make decisions live in doubt and anguish. This leads to worry and aggression which can lead to skin problems and more. Remember, even if you decide not to make a decision – even that’s a decision. So go out and make positive decisions. All those decisions you have been putting aside – act on them now!

3. Find Solutions. If you don’t find solutions to problems, they will only grow and become even bigger problems. This can impact your health radically. Even if the solution isn’t always what you want. Find a solution and live a more relaxed life. Remember that right now the only possible solution may not be what you had planned. However, I believe that nothing in life happens by chance. Somewhere in the future you will see the reason why it had to be that way now.

4. Stop trying keep up with the Jones’. To attempt to live a life of false appearances will only lead to distress and worry, again affecting your health. What is it with the world that everyone is always trying to compete and be better than the next person? Outside materialistic possessions will NEVER make you the same, or better than the next person. Understand this and follow this belief in the future. Learn to be comfortable with who you are. It will show from within and you will begin radiating a positive image. Think about it for a moment. Have you met people that just seem to be comfortable with life and themselves and who smile a lot? I bet most of them are not super wealthy, and nor do they constantly try fit in with society and their neighbors. Odds are they comfortable with who they are and have learnt to accept themselves and the world. Plus they have learnt to be thankful for the really important things in life … family, friends and health.

5. Practice Acceptance. You have to learn to be at one with yourself and the world around you. Everything cannot always go your way. Understand and accept this. If you cannot learn to do this, envy, jealousy and destructive energy takes over and makes you sick. If you can live a life of unconditional acceptance and love for all around you, without being judgmental – you WILL find peace within your heart.

6. Learn to trust. Without trust you cannot foster great friendships, business partnerships or relationships. Remember, it is better to have loved, than never to have loved at all. Lonely people are not healthy people. One of my favorite sayings is: If you lend someone money and they disappear out of your life – it’s most probably worth it. AT least you know where you stand and don’t waste years trying to build a friendship with a dishonest person. All I can do is give you my trust. If you return it and earn it – we can be friends. If you don’t, then it’s for the best – at least I won’t waste my time on that person and can focus my time on someone who respects my trust and friendship.

7. Learn to laugh more. Those of you that know me personally know that my philosophy in life is to laugh as much as I can. A happy person not only makes those around him happy, but laughter is also the best medicine for a healthy life. So come on – be adventurous – go out and have more fun in life. Subscribe to a ‘Free Joke’ list. Do a search on google or any search engine. There are hundreds. Every morning you get a free joke in your mail box … what a way to start your day. Also, hang out with people that smile and laugh regularly. They give our a positive energy.

We are in a new year, and the end of a decade. I know that regardless how positive I try to be, for some, 2009 was one of the toughest years ever. Many people found themselves living in a state of survival and fear. Many things changed, many that were out of their control. Most focused purely on survival and riding out the storm.

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If the above is you, ask yourself just one question: “Are you willing to live in the survival mode again this year?” If not, now is the time to examine your life, decide what you want it to be, and set your intentions to make it so. You MUST truly desire to NOT be at the whim of society, but to co-create within it the life that you want. It is the start of a new decade, a perfect time to change your attitude and be victorious. You will need to completely re-evaluate your life.

One way is to take out a big piece of paper and write “My Life” in the center. Think of your life, your wants, desires and needs and start writing the points down around the centre “My Life”. See how the thoughts connect up and what bridges together. Just let it flow, don’t over think it. You will be surprised at how easily things start to come to you. You are basically creating a mind map. Also, you don’t need to do this in one sitting. Spend a day at it, and add thoughts as they come to you. This is a very broad mind map of your life. You can of course take the different categories that you come up with, and turn each of those into it’s own map. Once you see your direction, you can figure out your intentions.

This simple exercise will give you direction for 2010 and help you on the path to a successful year. Of course there are many people that now feel another year has passed and time is running out. NEVER be afraid of getting older, it’s age that brings us wisdom. Older people who are unhappy with their age, are those with regrets. These are people who never followed their dreams. If you are still young, learn from the above words. Make yourself a promise that you will never regret lost opportunities in life. Only then will getting older be fun. I keep on preaching in my Keynotes that YOU must live every day as if it is your last. By this I mean that you must make the most of every moment. Be in a position that when you go to bed at night, you can be happy at the great day you had. This can only be achieved by making the most of every moment. Not putting things aside for tomorrow, but living today to the fullest. Only then will you have no regrets when you get older.

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On that note, if you are over 50 … here are some things to be really positive about in 2010.

1. Kidnappers are not very interested in you.

2. In a hostage situation you are likely to be released first.

3. No one expects you to run–anywhere.

4. People call at 9 pm and ask, did I wake you?

5. People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.

6. There is nothing left to learn the hard way.

7. Things you buy now won’t wear out.

8. You can eat supper at 4 pm.

9. You can live without sex, but not your glasses.

10. You get into heated arguments about pension plans.

11.You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.

12. You quit trying to hold your stomach in no matter who walks into the room.

13. You sing along with elevator music.

14. Your eyes won’t get much worse.

15. Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off.

16. Your joints are more accurate meteorologists than the national weather service.

17. Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can’t remember them either.

18. Your supply of brain cells is finally down to manageable size.

BUT, there is only one thing you really need to be careful of … Never, never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.

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Finally, I trust my words have inspired you to be who you really can be in 2010. I have launched two new sets of Keynotes for this year, One around the Word Cup Soccer theme and achieving your goals, plus a talk on Sales and soft skills. Keen to book me at your next conference – email me by clicking here.

This month’s free You Tube Quick tips are:(Simply click on titles to watch)
English: Achieve Your Goals, Live in the Moment, Attachment, Honesty
Afrikaans: In die Moment Lewe, Eerlikheid, Logies Dink, Eerste Indrukke
Deutsch: An sich selbst Glauben, Im Moment Leben, Teamwork, Verbundenheit, Ehrlichkeit

No matter what your belief, this holiday season is a time of peace, giving and spending quality time with the people you love. Santa Clause has always been part of this magical time. In fact I have a photo of myself in Nuuk, one of the more northern towns on the west coast of Greenland, where I am standing in front of Santa’s workshop. So my two girls know that he must exist – after all, dad was there!

Realistically though, have you kept the magic of Santa alive for your children? I actually know people that told their children from the time they could speak, that there was no such person. Although I respect everyone’s belief’s, I feel so sad, thinking that those children never experienced the true magic of Santa. It’s when you break down the magic of childhood that you ruin any hope of a magical adulthood. Surely that’s not so difficult to understand?! My daughters have now reached the age where ‘peer pressure at school’ has forced me to explain everything. However, I think I did well – had my oldest one going until 12, and the youngest one is not quite sure anymore – although I know she still wants to believe! Here’s how I did it.

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DO YOU BELIEVE IN SANTA?

I told my girls that although the Santa one sees in films and on cartoons at the north pole may not be real – the ‘spirit’ of Christmas is. Each one of us can be Santa. Me, your mom, your aunt, your grandmother. It’s by all of these people doing nice things and buying you gifts because they love you – in this way they carry on the Christmas spirit. Right now, I am Santa. One day when you are older, you will in turn do this for others.

At first, part of being Santa was keeping the llusion alive for younger siblings. I got to stay up late and wrap the stocking tuffers. It meant drinking the milk and eating the cookies left for Santa. As I grew older, the Santa spirit grew. At university, my dorm mates and I played Secret Santas”, delivering little gifts to each other during finals week. Later in Life, I’d drop off Christmas cookies to the nearest fire or police station on Christmas Eve. You can be Santa while shopping – whistling Christmas carols, wear bells thatjingle, smile at those you pass – be patient with clerks. I hope my Santa spirit will be with me throughout the year, and that others will find the same joy that comes from being Santa Claus.

My girls loved this explanation and now look forward to doing good for others. Makes me think back in my life, I went through 3 Santa Clause stages.
1. I believed in Santa
2. I didn’t believe in Santa
3. Now I am Santa!

Seriously, there is a deeper, more inspirational message behind the holiday season which I feels applies to every person on this planet. This story puts it all into perspective.

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SANTA’S SECRET

On Christmas Eve, a young boy sitting on Santa’s knee, looked deep into his eyes and whispered into his ear, “I want to know your secret. How do you do it, year after year? I want to know how, as you travel about, giving gifts here and there, you never run out.
ow is it that in your bag of toys you have plenty for all of the world’s girls and boys? How does it stay so full, never emptying, as you make your way from rooftop to rooftop, to homes large and small, from nation to nation, reaching them all? Tell it to me please.”

Santa smiled gently and replied, Don’t ask me hard questions. Don’t you want a toy?”

But the young boy shook his head, and Santa could see that he needed to answer. So he told the little boy, “My secret will make you sadder, and wise. Are you sure you still want to know?”

The boy nodded, so Santa spoke, “The truth is that my sack is magic. Inside it holds millions of toys for my Christmas Eve ride. But although I do visit each girl and each boy don’t always leave them a brightly wrapped toy. Some homes are hungry, some homes are sad, Some homes are desperate, some homes are bad. Some homes are broken, and children there are sad. What do I leave at houses like these?

My sleigh is filled with the happiest stuff, but for homes where despair lives, toys aren’t enough. So I tiptow in, kiss each girl and boy,pray with them that they’ll be given the joyof the spirit of Christmas, the spirit that lives on the heart of the dear child who gets not, but gives.

I hope the prayers are answered, by the time I visit next year. And I always wonder what I will find there the next time. Will the homes be filled with peace, and with giving, and love. It’s a very hard task, to give toys to some and to give prayers to others. but the prayers are the best gifts. That’s part of the answer.

As for my sack of toys … yes it is magic. It is filled with the love of Christmas. It never empties of love, or of joys because inside it are prayers, and hopes. Not just toys. The more I give, the fuller it becomes … because giving is my way of fulfilling dreams. 

And do you know something? You’ve got a sack, too.

It’s as magic as mine, and it’s inside of you. It never gets empty, it’s full from the start. It’s the center of light and love. It’s your heart. And if on this Christmas you want to help me, don’t be so concerned with the gifts beneath your tree. Open that sack called your heart, and share your joy, your friendship, your wealth, your care.”

The young boy’s eyes were glowing. Wow! Thanks for the secret Santa, I’ve got to run.” Wait,” Said Santa, “don’t go. Will you share, help and use what you know this Christmas?” And just for a moment the small boy stood still, touched his heart with his small hand and whisperedn “I will.”

So now my question and last thought of 2009 to you …. will you?
As we head to 2010, I want to end of this Useletter with some thoughts on life which may help you come up with some ‘deeper’ New Years resolutions which will give you a more positive attitude in 2010.

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THOUGHTS FOR 2010

A Birth Certificate shows that we were born. A Death Certificate shows that we died. Pictures show that we lived! 

Have a seat . .. . Relax . . . And read this slowly…

• I Believe… that just because two people argue, that doesn’t mean they don’t love each other. And just because they don’t argue, that doesn’t mean they do love each other.
• I Believe… that sometimes when I’m angry I have the right to be angry, but that doesn’t give me the right to be cruel.
• I Believe…that we don’t have to change friends if we understand that friends change.
• I Believe… that no matter how good a friend is, they’re going to hurt you every once in a while and you must forgive them for that. 
• I Believe… that true friendship continues to grow, even over the longest distance. The same goes for true love.
• I Believe… that you can do something in an instant that will give you heartache for life. 
• I Believe… that it’s taking me a long time to become the person I want to be.
• I Believe… that you should always leave loved ones with loving words. It may be the last time you see them.
• I Believe… that you can keep going long after you think you can’t.
• I Believe… that we are responsible for what we do, no matter how we feel.
• I Believe… that either you control your attitude or it controls you.
• I Believe… that heroes are the people who do what has to be done when it needs to be done, regardless of the consequences.
• I Believe… that money is a lousy way of keeping score.
• I Believe… that my best friend and I can do anything, or nothing, and have the best time.
• I Believe….that sometimes the people you expect to kick you when you’re down will be the ones to help you get back up.
• I Believe… that maturity has more to do with what types of experiences you’ve had, and what you’ve learned from them…and less to do with how many birthdays you’ve celebrated.
• I Believe….that it isn’t always enough to be forgiven by others. Sometimes, you have to learn to forgive yourself. 
• I Believe… that no matter how bad your heart is broken, the world doesn’t stop for your grief.
• I Believe… that our background and circumstances may have influenced who we are, but we are responsible for who we become.
• I Believe… that you shouldn’t be so eager to find out a secret. It could change your life forever.
• I Believe… that two people can look at the exact same thing and see something totally different.
• I Believe… that your life can be changed in a matter of hours by people who don’t even know you.
• I Believe… that even when you think you have no more to give, if a friend cries out to you…you will find the strength to help.
• I Believe… that credentials on the wall do not make you a decent human being.
• I Believe… that the people you care about most in life are taken from you too soon.
• I Believe… that the happiest of people don’t necessarily have the best of everything; they just make the most of everything.

Have a wonderful festive season and New Year.

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And finally, looking for a great Holiday Season gift (Inspirational book) for someone, visit http://www.mindpowerpublications.com or Click here

The first story this month focuses on just that. We can blame who we want, but whether you are positive or negative, YOU are in control of those thoughts. I keep telling everyone I meet that right now, in this ‘so called recession’, is the time to lay the foundations, keep on marketing and remain positive. Although many people think it is difficult to do, quite the contrary – it’s so easy. And my first story this month says it all and has found it’s way into my customer relationship talk.

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A CHOICE TO BE THE BEST
No one can make you be positive and serve customers well. That’s because great service is a choice. 
 
Here’s a wonderful story about a cab driver that proved this point.  Jack was waiting in line for a taxi at the airport. When a cab pulled up, the first thing He noticed was that the taxi was polished to a bright shine. Smartly dressed in a white shirt, black tie, and freshly pressed black slacks, the driver jumped out and rounded the car to open the back passenger door for Jack.  
 
He handed Jack a laminated card and said: “I’m Roger, your driver. While I’m loading your bags in the trunk I’d like you to read my mission statement.”  Taken aback, Jack read the card.  It said:  Roger’s Mission Statement:  To get my customers to their destination in the quickest, safest and cheapest way possible in a friendly environment.  
 
This blew Jack away. Especially when he noticed that the inside of the cab matched the outside. Spotlessly clean!  As he slid behind the wheel, Roger said, “Would you like a cup of coffee? I have a thermos of regular and one of decaf.”  Jack  jokingly replied, “No, I’d prefer a soft drink.”  Roger smiled and said, “No problem. I have a cooler up front with regular and Diet Coke, water and orange juice.” 
 
Almost stuttering, Jack said, “I’ll take n Orange Juice.”  Handing him his drink, Roger said, “If you’d like something to read, I have The Evening Standard, Financial Times, Time, Sports Illustrated and Sun.” As they were pulling away, the taxi driver handed  Jack another laminated card, “These are the stations I get and the music they play, if you’d like to listen to the radio.”  
 
And as if that weren’t enough, he told Jack that he had air conditioning, and asked if the temperature was comfortable for him. He then advised Jack of the best route to his destination for that time of day. He also let him know that he’d be happy to chat and tell him about some of the sights or, if he preferred, to leave him with his own thoughts.  
 
“Tell me, Roger,” the amazed Jack asked, “Have you always served customers like this?”  Roger smiled into the rear view mirror. “No, not always. In fact, it’s only been in the last two years. My first five years driving, I spent most of my time complaining like all the rest of the cabbies do. Then I heard an inspirational speaker, (Could it have been Wolfgang Riebe?) on the radio one day. He had just written a book called Discover Your Magic, and said that if you get up in the morning expecting to have a bad day, you’ll rarely disappoint yourself. He said, ‘Stop complaining!  Differentiate yourself from your competition.  Don’t be a human being and ‘be’, be a human ‘doing’ and ‘do’! 
 
Human beings complain and sit around.  Human ‘doings’ go out and do things and make a difference in this world.”  “That hit me right between the eyes,” said Roger. “He spoke about me! I was always complaining and seeing the negative in everything, so I decided to change my attitude and become someone that ‘does’ things. I looked around at the other cabs and their drivers. Their cabs were dirty, the drivers were unfriendly, and the customers were unhappy. So I decided to make some changes. I put in a few at a time. When my customers responded well, I did more.”
 
“I take it that has paid off for you,” Jack asked.  “It sure has,” Roger replied. “My first year as an human ‘doing’, I doubled my income from the previous year. This year I’ll probably quadruple it. You were lucky to get me today. I don’t sit at cabstands anymore. My customers call me for appointments on my cell phone or leave a message on my answering machine. If I can’t pick them up myself, I get a reliable cabbie friend to do it and I take a piece of the action.”
 
Roger was phenomenal. He was running a limo service out of a London Cab. I’ve shared that story with many taxi drivers over the years in many cities, and doubt if even a handful took the idea and ran with it.  They just complained and told me all the reasons they couldn’t do any of what I was suggesting.  Roger the Cab Driver made a different choice. He decided to stop just ‘being’ like the majority of people today. How about you?  

It’s all about your attitude. The choice to be a winner or a loser, as is the choice to be negative or positive, requires exactly the same effort, yet the benefits of the positive choice so much outweigh the negative. So what’s stopping you being positive? Here’s another way of looking at it.

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WISE WISDOM
There was a man who had four sons.   He wanted his sons to learn not to judge things too quickly.  So he sent them each on a quest, in turn, to go and look at a pear tree that was a great distance away.
 
The first son went in the winter, the second in the spring, the third in summer and the youngest son in the fall.
 
When they had all gone and come back,  he called them together to describe what they had seen.
 
The first son said that the tree was ugly, bent, and twisted. The second son said, “No! It was covered with green buds and full of promise.” The third son disagreed; he said, “It is laden with blossoms that smelled so sweet and looked so beautiful, it was the most graceful thing I have ever seen.” The last son disagreed with all of them; he said, “It was ripe and drooping with  fruit, full of life and fulfillment.”
 
The man then explained to his sons that they were all right, because they had each seen, but only one season in the tree’s life. He told them that you cannot judge a tree or a person by only one season, and that the essence of who they are and the pleasure,  joy and love that come from that life can only be measured at the end, when all the seasons  are up.
 
If you give up when it’s winter, you will miss the promise of your spring, the beauty of your summer, fulfillment of your fall. Don’t let the pain of one season destroy the joy of all the rest.  Don’t judge life by one difficult season.
 
Persevere through the difficult patches and better times are sure to come  some time.
Aspire to Inspire Before You Expire! 
Live Simply , Love Generously , Care Deeply ,Speak Kindly .
Happiness keeps You Sweet, Trials keep You Strong!
Sorrows keep You Human! Failures keep You Humble! 
Success keeps You Glowing! 

On that note, are you doing your bit to make the world a better place to live? Are you helping those around you and noticing the small things that can make such a huge difference in someone else’s life? I have a theory: If each of us just did one good dead per day and actually took note of those around us and gave help where needed – I firmly believe that the world would change literally overnight.

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Come with me to a third grade classroom….. There is a nine-year-old boy sitting at his desk and all of a sudden, there is a puddle between his feet and the front of his pants are wet. He thinks his heart is going to stop because he cannot possibly imagine how this has happened.  It’s never happened before, and he knows that when the boys find out he will never hear the end of it. When the girls find out, they’ll never speak to him again as long as he lives.
The boy believes his heart is going to stop; he puts his head down thinks to himself – ‘this is an emergency! I need help now! Five minutes from now I’m dead meat.’
As he looks up, the teacher approaches him with a look in her eyes which say he has been discovered.
However, as she is walking towards him, a classmate named Susie is carrying a goldfish bowl that is filled with water. Susie suddenly trips in front of the teacher and inexplicably dumps the bowl of water in the boy’s lap.

He pretends to be angry, but all the while is saying to himself, ‘Thank you, Thank You!’
Suddenly, instead of being the object of ridicule, he is the object of sympathy. The teacher rushes him downstairs and gives him gym shorts to put on while his pants dry out. All the other children are on their hands and knees cleaning up around his desk. The sympathy is wonderful. But as life would have it, the ridicule that should have been his has been transferred to someone else – Susie.
She tries to help, but they tell her to get out. “You’ve done enough, you klutz!”

Finally, at the end of the day, as they are waiting for the bus, the boy walks over to Susie and whispers, “You did that on purpose, didn’t you?” Susie whispers back, “I wet my pants once too.”

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Today we all tend to live in our own worlds. We hardly notice what is going on around us. Have the bad things that happen, wouldn’t … if you just became aware of people and situations around you. Help someone in need, save someone from an embarrassing situation – people remember this for life.

Those people that have seen me speak live, know that I put much emphasis on humor at appropriate times, as I believe it opens the heart and allows me to really cement my message with my delegates. However, it’s not always easy to find the right jokes. And this year I have really received very few good ones. But last week a friend of mine in New York forwarded me the next joke. It’s already found it’s way into my show. (Oh yes, end of year functions … the best compliment you can give me – is to book me! Hint hint!) This is by far one of the cutest and funniest jokes ever, and in a sense very touching and inspirational too!

Jacob, age 92, and Henrietta, age 89, are excited about their decision to get married. They go for a stroll to discuss the wedding and on the way they pass a chemist. Jacob suggests they go in. He addresses the man behind the counter: “Are you the owner?” 
The pharmacist answers “Yes”. 
Jacob: “We’re about to get married. Do you sell heart medication?” 
Pharmacist: “Of course we do.”
Jacob: “How about medicine for circulation?” 
Pharmacist: “All kinds.” 
Jacob: “Medicine for rheumatism, scoliosis?” 
Pharmacist: “Definitely.” 
Jacob:” Medicine for memory problems, arthritis, jaundices?” 
Pharmacist: “Yes, a large variety….. the works!” 
Jacob: “What about vitamins, sleeping pills, antidotes for Parkinson’s Disease?”
Pharmacist: “Absolutely.”
Jacob:” You sell wheelchairs and walkers?”
Pharmacist: “All speeds and sizes. Why do you ask? Is there something I can help you with?”
Jacob says to the pharmacist: “We’d like to nominate your store as our Bridal Gift Shop.”

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Discover Your Magic (Best Seller) Available from Amazon.com or 
http://www.mindpowerpublications.com

On that note I want to share a story with you where childhood memories lasted into adulthood. The core of the message being – Do you still remember all the people that helped you throughout your life?

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A GLASS OF MILK
One day, a poor boy who was selling goods from door to door to pay his way through school, found he had only one thin dime left, and he was hungry. He decided he would ask for a meal at the next house. However, he lost his nerve when a lovely young woman opened the door. Instead of a meal he asked for a drink of water.

She thought he looked hungry so brought him a large glass of milk. He drank it slowly, and then asked, “How much do I owe you?”
“You don’t owe me anything,” she replied. “Mother has taught us never to accept pay for a kindness.”

He said….. “Then I thank you from my heart.” As Howard Kelly left that house, he not only felt stronger physically, but his faith in God and man was strong also. He had been ready to give up and quit.

Year’s later that young woman became critically ill. The local doctors were baffled. They finally sent her to the big city, where they called in specialists to study her rare disease. Dr. Howard Kelly was called in for the consultation. When he heard the nameof the town she came from, a strange light filled his eyes. Immediately he rose and went down the hall of the hospital to her room.

Dressed in his doctor’s gown he went in to see her. He recognized her at once. He went back to the consultation room determined to do his best to save her life. From that day he gave special attention to the case.

After a long struggle, the battle was won. Dr. Kelly requested the business office to pass the final bill to him for approval.He looked at it, then wrote something on the edge and the bill was sent to her room. She feared to open it, for she was sure it would take the rest of her life to pay for it all. Finally she looked, and something caught her attention on the side of the bill.

She read these words…..
“Paid in full with one glass of milk”
(Signed)
Dr. Howard Kelly

Tears of joy flooded her eyes as she realized that love can still spread abroad through human hearts and hands.”

The more I travel, and the more people I meet, I keep on asking myself the question why there is so much conflict, aggression and hatred in this world. My wife, Sonja, recently gave me a good answer, she believe there are two types of people on this earth. Those with souls, and those without souls. Kinda makes sense to me, and explains why some people are good, and others inherently bad. My goal of course is to change the world, one person at a time, and bring caring back to humanity. The next story will bring tears to your eyes. Read it first.

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THE UGLY CAT
Everyone in the apartment complex I lived in knew who Ugly was. Ugly was the resident tomcat. Ugly loved three things in this world: fighting, eating garbage, and, shall we say, love.

The combination of these things combined with a life spent outside had their effect on Ugly. To start with, he had only one eye and where the other should have been was a hole. He was also missing his ear on the same side, his left foot appeared to have been badly broken at one time, and had healed at an unnatural angle, making him look like he was always turning the corner.

Ugly would have been a dark gray tabby, striped type, except for the sores covering his head, neck, and even his shoulders. Every time someone saw Ugly there was the same reaction. “That’s one UGLY cat !”

All the children were warned not to touch him, the adults threw rocks at him, hosed him down, squirted him when he tried to come in their homes, or shut his paws in the door when he would not leave. Ugly always had the same reaction.

If you turned the hose on him, he would stand there, getting soaked until you gave up and quit. If you threw things at him, he would curl his lanky body around your feet in forgiveness.

Whenever he spied children, he would come running, meowing frantically and bump his head against their hands, begging for their love. If you ever picked him up he would immediately begin suckling on your shirt, earrings, whatever he could find.

One day Ugly shared his love with the neighbor’s dogs. They did not respond kindly, and Ugly was badly mauled. I tried to rush to his aid. By the time I got to where he was laying, it was apparent Ugly’s sad life was almost at an end.

As I picked him up and tried to carry him home, I could hear him wheezing and gasping, and could feel him struggling. It must be hurting him terribly, I thought. Then I felt a familiar tugging, sucking sensation on my ear. Ugly, in so much pain, suffering and obviously dying, was trying to suckle my ear. I pulled him closer to me, and he bumped the palm of my hand with his head, then he turned his one golden eye towards me, and I could hear the distinct sound of purring.

Even in the greatest pain, that ugly battled scarred cat was asking only for a little affection, perhaps some compassion. At that moment I thought Ugly was the most beautiful, loving creature I had ever seen. Never once did he try to bite or scratch me, try to get away from me, or struggle in any way. Ugly just looked up at me completely trusting in me to relieve his pain.

Ugly died in my arms before I could get inside, but I sat and held him for a long time afterwards, thinking about how one scarred, deformed little stray could so alter my opinion about what it means to have true pureness of spirit, to love so totally and truly.

Ugly taught me more about giving and compassion than a thousand books, lectures, or talk show specials ever could, and for that I will always be thankful. He had been scarred on the outside, but I was scarred on the inside, and it was time for me to move on and learn to love truly and deeply. To give my total to those I cared for.

Many people want to be richer, more successful, well liked, beautiful, but for me…I will always try to be Ugly.

Isn’t it time we all stopped being judgemental! When you met someone, who ever they may be. Do not judge them by physical appearance. Get to know that person for who they really are. Care! Take the time to get to know them … even those people you currently may not like. Odds are once your eally get to know them, you will discover what beauty they really possess!

And finally, here’s an old story which shares a deep lesson on what is really important in life.

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THE SANDS OF FORGIVENESS
A story tells that two friends were walking through the desert. During some point of the journey they had an argument, and one friend slapped the other one in the face.

The one who got slapped was hurt, but without saying anything, wrote in the sand:
TODAY MY BEST FRIEND SLAPPED ME IN THE FACE.

They kept on walking until they found an oasis, where they decided to take a bath. The one who had been slapped got stuck in the mire and started drowning, but the friend saved him.

After he recovered from the near drowning, he wrote on a stone:
TODAY MY BEST FRIEND SAVED MY LIFE.

The friend who had slapped and saved his best friend asked him, “After I hurt you, you wrote in the sand and now, you write on a stone, why?”

The other friend replied “When someone hurts us we should write it down in sand where winds of forgiveness can erase it away. But, when someone does something good for us, we must engrave it in stone where no wind can ever erase it.”

LEARN TO WRITE YOUR HURTS IN THE SAND AND TO CARVE YOUR BENEFITS IN STONE.

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Have an awesome month!

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You gain the ability to measure progress when you delineate clearly defined goals in the short and long term. Once you effectively meet your goals, your personal satisfaction will know no bounds. Monitor your progress so you can determine what stage of completion you are in already as you attempt to realize your goals. By doing so, you cut short the feeling that you are making fruitless attempts to reach your goal. As you achieve short-term goals, you gain a heightened feeling of self-confidence and at the same time, you enhance your level of competence.

It is basic to goal setting that you have to make up your mind what you wish to achieve in your personal life. You will be breaking this down into short term and long term goals. Afterwards, you have to subdivide each short term and long term goal into much smaller and more manageable sub-goals that act as stepping stones you must reach as you aim for the larger goals. After you have made this list, pursue your goals as soon as you can.

One effective way to create a manageable list is to have goals you can accomplish every day and every week. Check each goal as you achieve it and you will find that you are well on your way to achieving your life plan goals. You create an aura of accomplishment everyday that will motivate you to reach for more goals to fulfill.

There are certain pointers that you can take into consideration during both goal setting and goal achievement.

A crucial factor that can influence goal setting and achievement is attitude. You should examine yourself carefully: is there a part of your personality or your mind that is hindering you from achieving success? Even the simplest goals will be difficult to achieve if there is a form of behavior that acts as a roadblock or wrecks your plans. Should you discover that you do have a certain problem, it is recommended that you take immediate steps to address the problem. If it requires a visit to a doctor or psychiatrist, then do not be afraid to do it.

For more info contact us at selfhelp setting goals

But you know better now. The how is not important. Finding out what steps to take to become rich is easy. Think about it…you can very easily to go any book store or the internet and buy tons of books and courses on how to make money selling products, investing in real estate, trading stocks, etc. The list goes on and on. There are thousands of money making ideas. But very few people are able to use them well enough to make money.

So, it’s not the how that’s important. It’s the why!

When you can find strong enough reasons to pull you towards your goals and push you away from the alternative, your mind will find a way to make it happen!

The stronger and more compelling your reasons are, the stronger will be your desire to do whatever it takes to make it happen.

For more info contact us at How Versus Why