As we all know, Christmas is fast approaching and as we all also know, many of you will be struggling to think of interesting gift ideas for your nearest and dearest. ‘What shall we buy to show our love?!’ we hear you cry. Well, fear not, for we at the Fold know that sometimes, thinking beyond the usual DVD boxsets/smellies/Xbox games can be a little difficult, and so over the course of December we endeavour to bring you a new gift idea each day on the run-up to Christmas, totalling 24, and with each one we shall also bring you an accompanying song that somehow represents the gift in some way. ‘Gift ideas and related entertainment?!’ we hear you now crying! ‘How on Earth do they manage it?!’

Day #14 – Freeloader Pro

Technology as we all know is becoming more and more advanced and subsequently, more taxing on the battery life. There’s nothing worse (okay, famine) than having that classic tune fade into obscurity just before the drop – leaving you bouncing around aimlessly like a deaf chimp. Well never again! Grab the Freeloader Pro, attach the relevant adapter and look for the sun.

Here is a little overview:

Freeloader Pro is the ultimate solar charger capable of powering virtually every electrical device, anywhere in the world, whether on a beach, a mountain, jungle or the Polar ice cap.

Freeloader Pro uses its high power solar panels or USB (cable supplied) to quickly charge its internal battery (7 – 9 hours in sunny conditions). Once fully charged Freeloader Pro is capable of delivering enough power to give a mobile phone 70 hours of standby time, 5000 page turns on an eBook or a 100% full charge for a digital camera battery.

Also by switching its Multi voltage switch to “9.5v” Freeloader Pro is capable of charging power hungry, high voltage devices such as MP4 players, portable DVD players and SLR camera batteries.
The metallic push button “Power Halo” indicates how much power is in Freeloader Pro’s battery.

Made in tough aluminium and finished in a stylish “piano” black, Freeloader Pro is the perfect companion for adventure travellers, journalists, explorers, expeditions, the armed forces and anyone who demands the best!

For those intrigued; you can pick it up right here.

And for your viewing pleasure today, Missy, Nicole Wray and Mc Solaar. Remember this one? Zig Zag Zig Zag….

Dré

As some of you know, I believe that anyone has the opportunity to better themselves and make themselves a success. Recently however, it seems like more and more people have their beggers cup out wanting nothing but the next government hand out. Such is the situation with some. I absolutely can not stand people who make excuses for not being able to find a job, its makes you look like a complete sissy, I would feel so ashamed if i grew complacent in knowing good ole Barack Obama and the government were going to take care of me forever.

Another problem i have is it seems like these people seem to get the benefits that us hard working Americans have to pay out the rear for or get denied access to such things. Why is someone able to go in with Food Stamps and buy steaks and 300 bucks worth of food when I have a hard enough time trying to buy my own with my own money. People, this isn’t right, these programs were made to get you back on your feet not so you can live off em. So here’s some advice for all you dirt bag freeloaders:

1. We are sick of you wasting our tax dollars buying new Computers,TV, non necessity items simply because you have money given to you by the government.
2. You should be made to get a job not sit on your lazy ass, sleeping all day while the world continues on.
3. Using the system so you have more money to spend useless crap on is flat out wrong and you should be denied it.
4. You are not equal to us hard workers…you’re lazy and a bunch of crybabies.
5. You are a drain on society so unless you plan on getting a job, contributing to the country’s prosperity, and voting then by all means please commit the most convenient form of suicide you choose and spare us from supporting your ass.
6. You should not be given Universal Health Care…you do not contribute, you do not reap the benefits plane and simple.

If i offend any of you lol chances are – you are a freeloader. If not and you’re with me…speak up. It’s time we pry these leeches off our back before there’s too many to deal with and we have a society of lazy people who think they don’t have to work and earn the American Dream.

Ryan Price -

Freeloader takes it up a notch with their Universal Solar Charger. Use the sun’s energy to charge Smartphones, PDA’s, game consoles, MP3 players, digital cameras, Bluetooth headsets and tons of other handheld portable devices. The Freeloader comes with an internal 1000mAh Li-ion battery, which can store its charge up to 3 months. Leave it out to catch some sun for 8 hours and get a full charge. Packaged with a USB and power master cable with 11 master tips, the Freeloader gives you more than enough opportunities to juice up your electronics before heading out.

We recently paid a visit to our old friend Snookcocker at the Blissful Valley Retirement Home for Bloggers (we’re happy to say that the old guy still manages a tweet now and then – though ‘Snook Tweets’ does sound like a song from Chitty Chitty Bang Bang). While we were there Snook showed us this gem from the Doncaster Free Press…

MAYOR Peter Davies has accepted more than £650 of gifts and hospitality since taking office – including more than £250 from the firm that runs Doncaster Racecourse.

The mayor had complimentary days out at three race meetings, a rugby match and Doncaster Rovers’ League Cup tie against Tottenham Hotspur, according to Doncaster Council’s register of members’ interests.

Lib Dem leader Coun Paul Coddington – who has only accepted one gift in ten years on the council, including a year as civic mayor – warned that Mr Davies should be wary that accepting too much hospitality could be seen as “freeloading”

But the elected mayor said he had treated all the visits as work and insisted: “I am not a freeloader.”

Racing fan Mr Davies was gifted two days out at this year’s St Leger Festival. His attendance on Ladies ‘Day, worth £215, was paid for by Doncaster Chamber of Commerce, while on the Friday of the festival he enjoyed the hospitality of racecourse operator Arena Leisure, worth £219.

Arena Leisure also paid for the mayor’s £40 lunch at a race meeting in August which he attended as a guest of a racehorse trainer.

The mayor enjoyed a £120 hospitality package for two at the Keepmoat Stadium courtesy of Doncaster Rovers when the club took on Tottenham Hotspur in the Carling Cup.

Mr Davies told the Free Press: “As mayor part of my job as I see it is to support events and teams in the town.

“I was invited by Doncaster Rovers to go along and support the club so I accepted. I wouldn’t have gone otherwise – I don’t like football and I didn’t enjoy it.“

Oh, well as long as you’re not enjoying yourself then it can’t be freeloading!

Davies goes on to admit that…

“The racing is slightly different, but again I was invited along in my official capacity and they were working visits. On both days I left the racecourse just after lunch, which I would not have done if I was there for pleasure.”

So he claims he only freeloads food and it’s all about the business, which is interesting because he has also recently suggested that school children should be given a holiday during the St  Leger so they could go horse racing! Not only is he trying to drum up business for the people who provided him with £219 of  ’hospitality’ (not forgetting the further £215 paid to the racecourse by Doncaster Chamber on his behalf), he’s actively encouraging impressionable young children to learn about gambling!!!

(We’re only kidding – about the gambling at least – our kids love a day at the races. One adult and 3 kids can go for £12. That’s £203 less than it costs for a Taliban-loving, climate-hating, tax-fiddling mayor!!! – and if Arena Leisure’s reading this you owe us £219 for the plug!)

FREEDLOADER

aqui os dejo mi primer remix

During freshman year of college my roommate invited her best friend from home to live in our dorm room. Let me just say that again…

My roommate invited her best friend (who does not attend  college) to live (rent free) in my room.

Essentially, she experienced the best that college had to offer without paying tuition or ever stepping foot in a classroom. Most people would care about this injustice but I didn’t really mind because we had a lot in common like: Getting Fucked Up. She used to rollerblade everywhere and mentioned that I could feel free to borrow them any time because, well, I never kicked her out. Fair trade my friend… I will accept your offer! Hell, I went to EVERY roller skating party in the gymnasium of my elementary school. Plus the Freeloader’s IQ was hovering somewhere right above Forrest Gump’s, so how hard could it be?

One beautiful spring day I strapped those puppies on and started zippin’ around the streets of Boston. I felt a little unsteady, but I was wearing cute shorts so I’m sure no one really noticed my apprehension.  I decided to take a lap around Fenway Park to soak in a bit of the legendary atmosphere. Distracted by the scenery and my Discman screaming “From the windowwwwwwwwwws to the waaaaaaaaaaaaaaalls, till the sweat drip down my ballllllllllllls”—it was 2003, don’t hate—I noticed that I was taking on speed and rolling downhill.

Oh Shit. How do you stop these things again? Toe Forward… roller skating is easy… TOE FORWARD. Shiiiiiiiit, where are the brakes??? Ok, approaching a very busy 6-way intersection. QUICK what are my options?

1)     Run into that group of people at the cross walk, they will cushion my fall… one or two may get sacrificed to the speeding truck headed this way, but it won’t be me!

2)     Gun it through the traffic and pray that I come out alive on the other side… it happens in movies.

3)     Hit the side of that brick building sacrificing my physical safety and pride.

SMACK. I hit the wall. Unfortunately for me, I had death blades attached to my feet causing me to roll backwards and then forward (fucking physics) hitting the wall a second time.  

Ok, quick self-examination before I get bombarded with “DUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUDE. Are you ok?”… 

Broken Bones?  Nope.

Blood?  Eh, not as much as there could be.

Bruises?  Most definitely, give it 5 minutes.

Need a doctor?  Oh, hell no. I need a beer!

So, I skated my ass back home–No, I did not carry sneakers with me and you wouldn’t have either!–cracked a beer and kicked that bitch out of my room.

Moral of the story: Don’t be a fucking idiot. But if you are, be sure to share your story with friends and family because they will take joy in laughing at your expense. Also, don’t forget to mention the fact that the Discman shattered because it’s 2009 and Discman’s are ancient.    

The Freeloaders,  I think everyone has heard about them.

Ma Freeloader, Pa Freeloader and the rest of the whole lot of  ‘em. These are the ones who when you achieve a certain highly successful plateau in your life or trying to, come running with their hands open and believe “we are family” is the creed by which you must give them part of what you have worked hard for. Many athletes deal with them a lot.

Yes, when you do achieve, its important to assist your family to achieve also by giving them opportunities and chances that they may have not received or in their ignorance passed up, a temporary handout or provide for those who cannot provide form themselves. Yes, it’s also o.k. to buy your parent/s that big house on hill and help them maintain it.  But this is not what I’m speaking of.  It has more to do with those who come looking for the hand out, not the heart you have in wanting to give in appreciation.

For instance, if a brother or cousin, quit school and now suffer greatly, you can present them an offer of a great career, and help pay for their education in order for them to become productive on their own. Wise people would jump at that opportunity, but not the Freeloaders. They talk about you like a dog because you didn’t give them freely so they can go about their lives and come back for more when they have depleted what you have given them.

Now some Freeloaders are extreme, others are more subtle and others yet, are harder to deal with. Here’s an example, if you are trying to start an appliance repair business, your dad (who is well off in terms of finances) comes casually to you, in a casual (not business) setting and starts talking about all the problems he’s having with an appliance. Now if you ask your dad to pay, even at a discount rate to repair it,he is appalled. “I’m your dad and your going to charge me? and/or I’ve taken care of you all of your life”.  There’s the guilt trip. Now some reading might say well, it is your dad right?  Well, like I said, in this case dad Freeloader is well off and the offer was to discount the price because he is your dad. So for those that disagree, let’s change the scenario.

With all of the hard work, getting loans, paying fees, etc. you finally got to open your own grocery store. On the first day it opens, your well off dad walks in with a couple of shopping bags and grabs a few groceries and on his way out says,”I’m taking a few groceries, thanks son/daughter, are you coming over for dinner?” Do you think dad is a little out of line? If so, why is it different for the one who is trying to start an appliance repair business? If you think dad is in his right, then I guess this article is not for you. I personally, would think dad would want to be the one to give you your first dollar and many others to help you become successful. Then when and if dad gets to the point he can no longer support himself or runs in to trouble, the dollars he gave you can in turn, take care of him.

So I hope the point of this article is understood. Family should not expect a free ride just because they’re family. Those who have arrived at success should be willing to help others; in some cases giving freely and in some giving opportunity for the one receiving to earn for themselves.

So be on the lookout for the Freeloader family.

Image by juicyrai

Today I discovered a subculture of people, the bookstore freeloaders. I sat in my local Borders coffee shop, ordered a tea, and read a magazine. Every table was taken with people who ordered a coffee a to justify their presence and used the bookstore as their personal free library.

Why not the library

Obviously, it is more fun to read in the bookstore sipping on a latte and browsing the magazine section for new hairstyles than going to the library, where they outlaw food and talk. The convenience of the shopping mall with its food court and children playground makes this the ideal library.

Proficient bookstore rats arrive early to snatch tables with power outlets. Plugging in their laptops they proceed to raid the bookstore for goodies to support their studies and they order just enough coffee or cheap water to be able to stay.

I tried to sit some of these people out, but after I read several magazines and ordered a few more coffee, I got tired. As I left, most of them still sat in their chairs. I bet they are still sitting there as I write this.

The regulars

What surprises me the most is that most of my fellow bookstore coffee shop freeloaders seem to be regulars.

This tells me that they are regulars. They prowl around the few empty tables as if it was a game of musical chairs and as soon as a spot opens up, they claw it for themselves. Normal people stand no chance to get in, unless they are as careless as I am.

Once they have secured a working place, they flip open their books somewhere in the middle and start reading. Apparently, the regulars are already familiar with their books and have come here often enough to know their book. It surprises me that they are not willing to drop the $15 it takes to walk home with their very own copy of “Losing my religion” or “The old man and the sea”.

Students

Students come here too. They look busy scribbling on paper or laptops with a book on the table. I assume their roommates are throwing a party and the students are trying to escape the noise. Who can blame them, but even the public library offers more books for them, a quieter environment and no coffee sales pressure.

Casual readers

Those are people like me. We sit here to pass time while our significant other shops, or to pick the right book out of a sea of related books.

Who are you? Are you a bookstore freeloader too?

So we participated in this (read: ate free pancakes) but forgot to slide the money in the donation box on the way out. Kinda feel like I’ve been called out by money.cnn.com for the freeloader that I am.

Ok so, I’ve spent close to a week here in Chico visiting with my sister who not only bought my plane ticket down using her miles, but she’s also been kind enough to give me free room, board and booze. In exchange, all I’ve really done is the following: 

1. I tend to her dogs during the day while she’s at work. This includes feeding them breakfast (which is actually lunch by the time I get around to it); letting her dogs out to potty throughout the day and while outside, preventing Ginger from running Buster, the old blind dog, into the pool or a flower pot.
2. I spend most of the time sitting at her kitchen counter using her laptop to wirelessly mooch off her neighbors internet, as my sister only has dial-up.
3. I’ve slept not-so-soundly now in two of her beds. Yes, two beds. The first night was spent flipping around smacking lumpy pillows on a very new, very firm mattress. The second night was spent sleeping on the new pillows (I suggested she purchase that day at Costco) in her other guest bed because I thought the first one was too hard. Then,  after getting a few mattress springs jammed into my back a dozen or so times, I took the new pillows back to the first bed at midnight. So, what this all boils down to is that I have now ”dirtied” two beds and my suitcase has fully exploded all over one of her guest rooms.
4. What else…OH! I took the recycling out yesterday, did a set of dishes, grated some cheese for dinner, and picked up all my cycling gear in the living room – all without being asked! 
5. I’ve also taught my sister how to reconnect with friends of the past through Facebook. She doesn’t really want an account of her own, and states that ”I don’t really want connect with them. I just want to see photos of them now and find out what they are up to”. Ah, Facebook is voyerism at its best! 
6. And finally, I think I bought a round of drinks that ended up giving my sister a really big hangover at work the next day. 

So, as you can see, I have basically been a big freeloader all week! My sister, recognizing this, handed me a real project today to tackle while she was at work. The project : call AT&T and Comcast to compare high speed internet pricing, give my sister a recommendation via phone and then order the service. Easy enough, right? Wrong. This project took me an hour and a half to complete and my sister’s husband said to me “I sure wouldn’t have had the patience to deal with that, but sure glad you weren’t on the clock!” While I laughed, I also felt like I had failed a bit at my first project. But then I remembered who I actually called - a phone company and a cable service provider, both with phone trees from hell and customer NON-service reps who clearly do not like their jobs.

Anyways, my house pants and I are heading back to Seattle tomorrow before my sister asks me to call the gas company to inquire about rebates. She tells me that’s 1-800-this-call-is-gonna-suck.

Los cargadores solares ya son vox populi, aunque todavía son pocos los que se atreven a comprarlos. Aun así la firma británica Solar Technology, haciendo honor a su nombre, ha lanzado el FreeLoader 8.0. Se trata de un cargador solar de dimensiones bastante reducidas, capaz de cargar cualquier aparato electrónico que tengas en tus manos, incluido un iPhone o un iPod Touch.

Como decíamos, es bastante ligero. Está hecho de aluminio, mide 123 x 62 x 17 milímetros y pesa 185 gramos. Incluye hasta once adaptadores diferentes, para que podamos utilizarlo con la mayor parte de nuestros gadgets y en una gran variedad de teléfonos móviles de última generación. Al deslizar su tapa metálica hacia las dos direcciones, veremos las células solares a través de las que se alimenta. Una vez terminada la carga, cerramos la tapa y lo guardamos cómodamente en cualquier bolsillo.

Con 18 horas de exposición al sol puede cargar un iPod al completo, con 44 horas un teléfono móvil y en 2,5 horas, una PSP. Y aunque no hay duda de que el tiempo de demora en la carga es mucho más prolongado que con el sistema eléctrico corriente, este FreeLoader nos puede sacar de algún apuro. Sobre todo cuando no estamos en casa y tenemos lejos un punto de electricidad.

The internet sensation is at it again, this time with a song called Freeloader Nation. Would you want to watch it if I said there were 2 girls in it? That’s what I thought. Tay’s getting him some points for this one. Cool points, that is.

Tay, my props go out to you for this one.

October 3, 2008 – 2:28am

The entire universe is full of shitty and crappy people who do not just carry tons of hypocrisy, stupidity, fallacy but are a malady of such.  These unfortunate entities are a spiraling vortex of negativity that sucks the life out of a being and life itself.  Feigning injustice and tyranny over them, they would use and abuse their so-called poor and deprived state by any means just to get what they want notwithstanding who are affected in the process even those who truly care for them.  Poverty and deprivation became their perfect alibi to perfect their crime – making others feel sorry and responsible for them thereby catering to not just their needs but their whims as well.

Bitch!

Quench my thirst because my wife on her third trimester now lost her job while I guzzled beer and lost my money to cockfight – kumpare’s bigger.  Feed me more because I love my wife, my mistress and my children; they are too many to count – kumpare’s even bigger. Shelter me because I lost our home to fire; we only had pot session last night – kumpare’s still bigger.  Clothe me because I bared my flesh and soul to the highest bidder for tomorrow’s coffee and pandesal – kumpare’s really bigger.

Lazy Bastard!

Oh, yeah? Weren't you his failed project?

I admit these are exaggerated harsh descriptions, but a dirty-laundry-becomes-dirtier-if-washed-with-mud deed is reflected in them.  Although not everybody is joining the bandwagon, this social disease is rapidly spreading and infecting particularly those who are weak by nature and weakened by the very system that is supposed to help them.  Sitting ducks, either they submit themselves willfully to this damnation or succumb to it with resistance but gave up in the end and once this is taking life inside their circulation, the painful irony of this reality begins.  The preys, since easily manipulated or perhaps have lost faith, now become the predators, angrier and wanting revenge to those who created them and in the process, affecting the innocent.  Thus, the negative cycle continues.

Unfair!

This sad and dirty depicted part of life sired these bitches and bastards and their scheming scam is to make the lives out of their sacrilegious circle including the reformed ones a living hell.  I hate to say this, an ungrateful, insensitive, insecure and ill-bred brat is a newbie of that infamous group and she happens, unlucky for us, to be a blood relation and what makes this more infuriating is that she has done all this #%^*$ crap just to win the heart of her freeloader ex-boyfriend – all for LOVE! Now, how completely utterly ironic is that?  %#@$&*+!*&%!

#%$&@*&

“Did I just become a bitch because of the above?”

Some of us got lucky when we moved in. We had friendly, personable roommates who respected our space and kept us sane through finals week. Some of us ended up in one-room hell for a year. There are as many ways for a roommate to suck as there are humans on the planet, but here’s a few standout stinkers:

The Social Drinker

Or, in other words, the roommate that’s only social when she’s drunk. You spend the whole day together, share the same bathroom, use the same shelf for your snacks, and probably own the same deodorant, but the only things you say to each other all day will be “I’m going to class” and “Mind if I get the light?” You don’t hate each other or even dislike each other, but somehow you never seem to have a conversation longer than fifteen seconds. Unless it’s Thursday evening and she’s into the vodka, of course. Then she’s your best friend, and she always wonders why you guys never talk, why she’s never gotten to meet all your cool friends, how much she hated that stupid haircut you had at orientation, and eventually she passes out and you don’t speak to each other for another week.

The Invisible Woman

You know she exists, because you saw her parents on move-in day, and the pile of laundry in her hamper sometimes varies in size. But she’s never in the room when you come back from class, she’s never brushing her teeth or taking a shower, and nobody ever comes looking for her. There’s the empty shell of a human life: bed always made, textbooks neatly lined up on the bookshelf, television never turned on. Your room feels like it’s being haunted, as if there’s some presence only half there. Sometimes you see her outside, chain-smoking and looking waifish.

The Hermetically Sealed Hermit

Sure, it’s nice to have a studious roommate. You can get work done when you need to, and you probably won’t come home on Sunday morning to find three naked people you’ve never met before passed out in your bed. But sometimes the zone of silence becomes a little too much: would you mind turning off that fan? Would you mind not chewing gum? Would you mind turning your pages with less rustling? Would you mind going across the hall and telling the room full of rugby players to body-slam each other through the drywall a little more gently?

The Apologetic Freeloader

Being the scrupulous, Type-A half of the arrangement, you were careful to bring a comprehensive selection of snacks in the fall. And because you’re also the easy-going, accommodating one, you were happy to loan them out to your hungry roommate when her busy schedule kept her running with no time to grab lunch. And she was always very nice about it, “Oh, I’m sorry, I’ll make it up to you, I know-”

“No, no, it’s fine, don’t worry about it,” you tell her.

And you love her to death, but now it’s April and she’s eaten maybe a hundred dollars worth of your Oreos, and she’s still really cute and fun abut it, but damnit, those were your Oreos. “I’m so sorry! I’m a mess, really, I’m a terrible roommate-” Well, yeah. Yeah. You are.

The Very Best Friend

College can be a lonely place at first, so you were really happy when you and your roommate hit it off so well. You were welcome to get drunk and lost with that first Friday night. And you just get closer from there; turns out you like the same bands, have the same major, dig the same take-out place. But one day, you wake up and realize: oh my God. This girl follows me around like a dog every weekend, she sits me down and blabbers about her bizarre emotional problems the moment I walk in the door, she snuggles with me on my bed when she feels lonely and I’m trying to study. I’ve gotten married and I’m not even getting any tax breaks.

Any other horrors I forgot?

In general I find very little merit in assholes, but there is definitely one thing I appreciate about them that is universally reliable, and that is that they will always challenge me. Not necessarily challenging my opinion, although the redneck type seems to a lot IMO. Well, in this case, a redneck asshole who is freeloading at my house (’cause my dad is too nice for his own good…and no this is not about redneck-induced agony…although that is also sometimes a problem!) – When I said that I believed that the whole Bible was misinterpreted, and that most of it- if not all in some respect- should be interpreted metaphorically- or more accurately, not literally. (i.e. a passage in the Bible might be historical truth, but also to present another underlying, and usually far more important (and spiritual) meaning– similar to the masterpieces of Linkin Park.

I have been, off and on, extremely anxious these past few months, likely due to delving too far into the secrets of my spiritual self. I’m disturbing the spiritually dead, proverbially speaking, and it’s not someone else either- it’s my dead self. Well of course this is all speculation, but in either case- as far as I’m concerned, I’ve willingly asked for a glimpse of Hell, and now I’m agonizing over whether it was really worth it.

I began this journey of self-exploration at first just to turn the nothing I was into something in the future; then, once I realized that it was not that simple, I began seeking out what that nothing was, because you cannot do anything you know nothing about, because even nothing is something

Well, all that abstract talk is just me being melodramatic…eventually, I found that the more I discovered about myself through this inference-based reasoning, the more I was able to improve upon myself. I started with internal change (opinions, morals, perspectives), and eventually harnessed these changes into habits/etc., to the point my transformation could not go unnoticed by those who “knew” me. But noooooo…that wasn’t good enough for me. I had to find the unfindable answers, relying on the forbidden intuition that I should never have had- well perhaps I’ve just being “played” by myself- this illusion of soul-torture that I’ve forced upon myself due to expecting something.

But really, the possibilities are endless, so why doubt my doubts when I can “suspend judgement” on those matters- and focus my attentions on these far more engrossing and apparently irresistable obsessions. But, as you may have noted, these obsessions have really done a number on me. Why is it that I must have such depressing, such inevitably hopeless obsessions.

Now that I know that we all are motivated by the desire to run away from ourselves- or more accurately, we won’t be happy unless we do everything to run away from ourselves. No- that’s not even accurate. I mean “our other self” – might be our “Ego”, might be our “soul” or “spirit” or “psyche”- well, it’s arguable that all those words mean the same thing anyway. Perhaps- and this is most definitely the case, we are running away from something far bigger that that. But really, is that even possible, or does it even make any sense, considering at this point it’s all just semantics.

Actually, I wouldn’t even be able to write this post had it not been for the spontaneous impulses (that’s redundant BTW) of my brother- by which I was able to clear my head sufficiently to actually think straight for the first time in 2 days. Now for some revised definitions “for the road”:

Sin: Self- you know, the “other self”. like I said, all semantics…

Agony: Seeing self, or a reflection/glimpse thereof- for what we really are, an eternally tortured self.

Hell: In “God’s” presence we see the ugliness that we really are:

desperate, hateful, dependent, miserable, melancholic, masochistic/sadistic, vengeful, malicious, lonely, obsessed, perverted, greedy, lustful, irrate. All scum that is depicable and distasteful.

As to how such a hellish curse was eternally forced upon us, there are many possibilities, but this is my theory: Balance has always existed- it is the true God. But “in reality”, Balance is only rules- just as Pythagoras’s numbers did not create anything, but only organized what already existed. We, our “original” self- also existed, and were thus governed by Balance. But to gain self-awareness, our soul- as I’ll call the “original self”, had to pay an equal price- that is after all necessary to maintain Balance. The “Adam and Eve” story of Genesis 2-3, is IMO, a story that originally took, or more accurately, takes place outside time and a space- humans would not exist if “original self” did not become “original sin. Update: Time did exist- since it is a fundamental necessity of balance.

There are many Bible verses which support this interpretation, in several books, both the old testament and new. Although I really don’t have motivation or time (b/f going 2 bed) to cite specific verses (although I probably would have if I didn’t spend so much time procrastinating on Uncyclopedia- it’s way to funny for my own good! see side-panel links for reference!)-

In Genesis, Isaiah, Psalms, Proverbs, Ecclesiastics, Revelation- just to name a few…

In the account of Jesus’s death (found on all 4 gospels, though only a couple in sufficient detail), Jesus dies for our sake- taking the sin of the world upon himself.

I pity those millions (Billions unless it’s “all for show”) of Christians that completely misinterpret the Bible- it’s not like I’m even close to accurate (obviously!) but at least I’m on the right track. Honestly though, how can anyone take what they call “God’s Word” at face-value. It’s sickening how simple people can be about things so far beyond themselves- what an insult to God!

Back to Jesus: In taking the sin upon himself- I strongly believe that this refers to the evolution of man. See, before man- there was just animals- no self-awareness.

To further understand- I’ll shed some more light on my theories regarding the Soul:

The Soul is running away from itself- in denial, just as we are. That is because, in order to create life, death needed to be created. To create ecstasy, despair needed to be created. This was the price of Balance. The soul took upon itself those ugly qualities (the ones listed halfway through what I’ve written so far) so that it might give birth to the positives. The Soul did this so that it could have meaning, and because it was inevitable- it was in its nature to bestow benevolence. This soul is our God, and is always a part of us….Okay, for the time being ending creepy mystical mutterings…

Naturally, the Soul could not bear this state of being (hell), so it thrust itself into its creation, and became ignorant. The soul enjoyed bliss in this ignorance- animals, plants, and all life at that time, had naught but instincts, and thus had no reason to find the Soul. This is not unfeasible, as most humans today have the gift of self-awareness but do not use it, leaving it dormant.

But, in accordance with Balance, the Soul innately struggled to correct the imperfection of its beasts, and these struggles took on the form of evolution, with its battle-scars taking on the form of mutation, and its confusion was mirrored in natural chaos. As the struggle became exponentially intense, a split occurred within the Soul- this was also a necessity of balance. The struggle had reached a level so great that it threatened to destroy Balance, and an innate failsafe defense mechanism was activated within Balance, resulting in the first miracle. This miracle, having split the Soul into two, formed what I will call the “Thesis” and “Antithesis”. Both the Thesis and Antithesis seek to be reunited under a Synthesis- but, in accordance with balance, this is not possible because that desire is neutralized with an equal and opposite force.

*Please note: Contrary to Augustine’s theory that God exists outside time, my account, assuming “God” to be “the creator”, exists within time– Balance always exists, therefore time does. Even though God has always existed, he did within time, because Balance is also eternal. My “God” is also not infinite, and is bound by the laws of Balance.

The desire for synthesis is mirrored in our own lives to this day, because it is necessary for Balance. One might ask the question, is there then the possibility that there is also imbalance?- But if the answer was yes, that would be a moot paradox, so I wouldn’t bother. (see Illogical)

Also, these events are somewhat reflected in the story of Cain and Abel.

Eventually, amid the struggles between the negative and positive that is the Soul, life evolved into increasingly complex organisms. But, in accordance with Balance, existence must be sustained by non-existence- thus, As many who are born must die. Because the animals were reproducing and flourishing, more were being born than were dying.

*Please note- keep in mind that although the Thesis and Antithesis are fighting, neither are self-aware of it, as their self-awareness is dormant within now-primitive life. Their subconsciousness’s are dualing, and they are only aware of the effects, in the forms of chaos and mutation.

*Also- these circumstances are reflected in the story of Noah’s Ark, particularly Gen. 6:1-7.

Now Balance was approaching the failsafe point, and- aware that the Soul had self-awareness, corrected the deficit by calling out the Soul (Antithesis and Thesis) to make a choice: allow the creation to be destroyed (which would be the second miracle), or make another sacrifice to correct the Balance in their stead. Because the Soul was now two different beings, the choice would have to be made separately. This decision could have been the long-awaited Synthesis, because both the Negative and Positive desired for life to continue flourishing. But Synthesis did not come to be.

The Positive Essence decided to sacrifice its self-awareness eternally, taking the form of Heaven or, more accurately, Nirvana.

The Negative Essence decided to keep it’s self-awareness, but eternally resigned its right to ignorance, forever tormented to the ends permitted by Balance- its unhappiness mirroring the happiness of life, and vice versa. Thus, in order for life to be happy, it must be unhappy- we essentially depend on the unhappiness of the negative essence. It took the form of Hell or, more accurately, Samsara.

*Please note that there is a big difference between ignorance and self-awareness. The Positive Essence did not become ignorant by losing its self-awareness- if fact, if I understand Buddhism philosophy correctly, losing self-awareness is essential for losing all ignorance.

*As you probably already guessed, the Positive Essence’s sacrifice was mirrored through the life and teachings of Gautama Buddha.

*Also note- The irony: Buddha discovered that the cause of human suffering was ignorance, but this is only one type of truth, which is derived from the Positive essence. Just as our well-being mirrors Samsara, our self-awareness mirrors the Positive Soul’s lack thereof. Thus, because the Positive Soul is statically in a state of Nirvana, Balance must correct our ignorance with suffering, in accordance with Nirvana’s complete lack of ignorance. On the other hand our ignorance can also grant us happiness, as ignorance makes our creator (the Negative side) unhappy. In other words, two negatives, when multiplied, make a positive. See here: God hates being ignored. Why do you think this commandment takes top spot on the 10?

*The Negative Essence was mirrored long before the Positive Essence did (Hinduism), but the effects were not fully realized until the life of Jesus. Because of the complications caused by the division of the Essences, and the sacrifices thereof, many miracles occurred up until the time of Jesus, and echoed until long after, in accordance. The effects of the Positive Essence need no be mirrored long, because it actually returned to its original self- essentially rendering it’s role in the creation of life nonexistent. The original miracle through Which Nirvana’s choice was reflected, was told in the allegory of Jacob and Esau (Gen. 25:30-34). Just as Esau gave up his birthright, Nirvana did as well. Key here is verse 34: …”thus Esau despised his birthright.” This mirrors the notion that Nirvana did not want it’s birthright, because self-awareness actually held it captive, thus being more a hindrance than help.

(Just a thought)

Mirroring how Samsara took every kind of agony possible upon itself, Jesus took every sin upon himself. The Negative Essence became Samsara, taking Hell upon itself so that we might live- thus, the balance, at least for the time being, was complete.

Now all that remains is our choice. Because we were made in the Image of the Soul, we have self-consciousness. However, our self-consciousness is incomplete- metaphorically speaking, half complete. This is why we have two selfs. One of our selves has self-awareness, the other does not. That is because we are based upon and depend on two different Essences, of one Soul- one Essence has self-consciousness; the other does not. These two different selfs take the form of the Id and Ego.

The Id is the self-consciousless persona, derived from Nirvana

The Ego is the self-conscious persona, derived from Samsara

thus, Balance is achieved, and all that is left is for us to make the choice:

The Antithesis, the Thesis, or the Synthesis?

If we choose the Antithesis, Nirvana is achieved, ultimately

If we choose the Thesis, We will maintain self-awareness, but perpetually share with the happiness and unhappiness of the Samsara. Unfortunately, to correct the Imbalance required for us to live, we must ultimately suffer, as the suffering must outweigh happiness to compensate for life. This will continue, until we either choose Nirvana, or the third choice- the Synthesis:

Not a true Synthesis, but: We run away from our true selves, gaining ignorance through bliss, and pleasure through Denial. This is, unfortunately, the choice of the vast majority of the world. Although it is clearly the best choice for us, it is the greatest sin one can possibly commit, as we are gaining pleasure as the direct consequence of God’s suffering. That is because by ignoring God we are doing that which makes him suffer most, and thus gain the greatest pleasure from it.

To end with a few verses that best reflect that last paragraph:

Mark 8- “34Then he called the crowd to him along with his disciples and said: “If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. 35For whoever wants to save his life^[c] will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me and for the gospel will save it. 36What good is it for a man to gain the whole world, yet forfeit his soul? 37Or what can a man give in exchange for his soul?” If you really think about it, you’ll be taken off-guard at how closely these words match up to this post! ps.- this is probably the most on-the-spot biblical re-translation I’ve ever done on the spot in my life- guess I showed that Redneck/Asshole!

People in the church come in several categories – and the two that I’m thinking about today are the Mooches and the Moochees.

The Mooches are those people who prey on the soft-hearted Moochees.  They keep asking, and asking, for more, and more and more, and the Moochees, so tender-hearted and anxious to serve their Savior, give, and give, and give.

The Mooches take without giving back, or they promise to give back in the future, as soon as they get a job. But no job is available to their liking. Or they get a job and either quit after a couple of days or get fired because they have many excuses not to show up:  “I have a headache,” or “It rained and I might get wet and then get pneumonia,” or “It snowed and I couldn’t find a shovel,” etc.  Thus the Mooch has no place to go, no money to pay for rent or food, and as a brother in Christ, it is the obligation of the Moochee to support the Mooch, till the Mooch gets on his feet.

The Mooch is very smart – the Mooch knows how to get free room and board, and sure as heck isn’t going to do anything to upset that apple cart!  The Moochee is trapped.

There is a passage in the Bible, however, that should come as a relief to Moochees everywhere.  The Bible says that you do not have to put up with this, and in fact, the Bible gives you specific permission to oust the Mooch and say “GET A JOB, MOOCH!”

Here it is, from 2 Thes. 3:6 – 15

6In the name of the Lord Jesus Christ, we command you, brothers, to keep away from every brother who is idle and does not live according to the teaching^[a] you received from us. 7For you yourselves know how you ought to follow our example. We were not idle when we were with you, 8nor did we eat anyone’s food without paying for it. On the contrary, we worked night and day, laboring and toiling so that we would not be a burden to any of you. 9We did this, not because we do not have the right to such help, but in order to make ourselves a model for you to follow. 10For even when we were with you, we gave you this rule: “If a man will not work, he shall not eat.”

11We hear that some among you are idle. They are not busy; they are busybodies. 12Such people we command and urge in the Lord Jesus Christ to settle down and earn the bread they eat. 13And as for you, brothers, never tire of doing what is right.

14If anyone does not obey our instruction in this letter, take special note of him. Do not associate with him, in order that he may feel ashamed. 15Yet do not regard him as an enemy, but warn him as a brother.

This is not about someone physically unable to work.  This is about someone who won’t work, for whatever reason.  The person who can do anything else – go shopping, go visiting, go on trips or vacations, etc…it is just that nasty job that they can’t handle.

Clearly the Bible teaching above indicates that not only is the Mooch Freeloader in the wrong, but the Moochee is in the wrong as well, by enabling the Mooch to continue Mooching.

Hey, it’s the Aposle Paul’s words – from the Inspiration of the Holy Spirit, not mine.  Don’t mooch, and don’t encourage or support mooches and their freeloading.  Seems simple enough.

Com’era prevedibile, non c’è voluto molto ai creatori del Twilight Hack ad aggirare le grandissime “contromisure” che ha preso Nintendo. E’ infatti uscita la nuova versione del famoso salvataggio, perfettamente compatibile col firmware 3.3, mentre l’homebrew channel ha sempre continuato a funzionare senza problemi.

Ricapitolando, quindi, gli unici ad essere stati danneggiati sono stati gli acquirenti del freeloader, adesso un inutile mini-cd, mentre i wii chippati e gli homebrew continuano a funzionare tranquillamente. Complimenti a Nintendo.

On 22nd June, I received an e-mail from a software developer in Lincolnshire !

Robert Palmer – who programmed Clickster !

He explains that he was checking out the competiton on download.com and came across my Freeloader application – which was only just added to a few freeware libraries a few days ago!

Anyway, it really made me feel great – as instead of seeing me as an enemy – invading his territory, he writes…

Hello Colin,

I’m the author of an mp3 downloader called Clickster
(http://www.remlapsoftware.com/clickster.htm) and I was checking out
the competition and new releases on download.com when I came across
your Freeloader application.

Anyway, I thought I’d drop you an email to congratulate you on a
really good concept and I wish you every success with this project.

Greetings from Lincolnshire

Rob

- Thanks Rob – this e-mail meant a lot to me as Freeloader is really my first public application!

I don’t really expect it to take-off, but since I already programmed it to handle my music downloads, I thought I may as well give it a shot and expand it’s capabilities to allow other unsigned artists and bands to add their own stuff to it.

It reminds me of the days when I used to run a web site about Siberian Huskies called “Husky Net”.  People would e-mail me and tell me good things about my site.  It was tough keeping it up-to-date though, and there was a constant war with the British & Scottish Husky clubs – they didn’t appreciate me advertising breeders on my site, since the breed should be protected and never become a mainstream domestic pet (due to mistreated dogs / strays etc..) – so I let the web site dissolve and thought I’d leave it to those guys instead!

Anyway, just wanted to share that since it’s always nice to hear from other creative minds and be told that you came up with a good concept.  I will sleep with a smile on my face tonight! ^_^

Hey everyone, it’s Tuesday 24th June and there’s not really much of interest out there for us gamers today.

I’ll start with the news on GTA, because everybody likes grand theft auto! Rockstar has released patches for the game (for both Xbox 360 and Playstation 3) which will apparently fix any freezing and glitch issues you are having with the online multiplayer aspect of the game. Well, that can’t be bad news I guess eh? All you need to do is get on and download them!

Secondly, thousands of Nintendo Wii owners are outraged at Nintendo’s latest firmware update as it renders Datel’s Freeloader (A Wii accessory which costs around £10/$20 and enables you to play games from any region on your wii) completely useless. Do oyu all have any opinions on this? If so just pop them in a text comment reply to this.

I know this has been a short entry guys but there really isn’t much to comment on, I suppose I could share a bit of personal details such as…..today I brought a new HDMI cable, it’s pretty sweet I guess.

Oh and finally, just to leave you with something to ponder, I just watched the trailer for Call of Duty: World at war and it lef tme thinking, is it actually going to be any good? It has a lot to live up to. For those of you who haven’t checked it out, here it is: