Routine is one of the keys to successful discipline.

It is good to have a routine or schedule.  It will help your day run smoother. Whether it is in a classroom or at home, children handle everything better if they know the routine (Bed time, reading time, homework time, etc.). Most children feel more comfortable with an established routine. When the routine has to be changed, it will go smoother if they are told in advance the routine will be changed.

Children need to learn to handle last minute changes but it is good to practice that in a controlled situation, not when you need it to happen now.

Try to give positive attention before the child has misbehaved. Right after they have misbehaved it is too late for positive attention. Keep positive attention real. Children see right through anything fake. Read together, play a game, sit with them and take an interest in what they are doing, or invite them to be a helper are some positive attention ideas.

What are your ideas for positive attention?

When children want you to praise them for their work, turn it around and ask how they feel about it.  This builds their internal self worth.  Example:

Child:  Do you like my picture?

Adult:  What do you like about your picture?

Child:  The flowers.

Adult:  I see why you like the flowers.

This helps children see what is good about themselves.  When the child comes up with it, it is internalized better.

This takes practice.

It needs to be a teacher, parent or leader.  Be prepared and come with a plan.   Children can sense when you doubt yourself.  Keep it positive, upbeat and confident!

Children feel safe when they are with an adult that has control of the situation.  Expect children to mind and accept nothing less.   Encourage the behaviors you want and ignore or isolate the unwanted behavior.    Never just watch unwanted behavior.  That rewards that child.  Create something more interesting to do.

Example:  What to do when taking a child shopping at the supermarket?  Keep your focus on shopping and the child.  Involve the child in the shopping experience.  (No cell phones or any long conversations with other adults)  Have them help look for items or have them count out an amount of some item.  Don’t ask them what they want or give them big choices.  Never let the shopping become what the child wants.  This is your shopping list.  If a child asks for things say something like “It isn’t on the list. Maybe we could plan to get it another time.” or “Remember candy you buy with your own money.”  If a child starts fussing about something say: “I never buy for fussing children.” then ignore them.  Don’t tell children you will buy them something if they are good, because it creates more problems than it solves.   Never turn control of the shopping trip over to the child.   Continue to focus on the list, the shopping and the behaving child.  NEVER give in to tantrum children or they will tantrum again!

Be in Charge and everyone will be happier.

Children love to share if they are invited to share and not forced to share.  Also, never reward a bully by making your child share when something is taken from them.

When a child takes a toy away from another child, the toy should be taken back and given to the child that had the toy.  Even if the child is a toddler, they shouldn’t take the toy away from anyone else.  After the toy is given back then the child is coached to ask for a turn with the toy.   The child with the toy is invited to share the toy when they are finished.  “Sam would like a turn when you are  finished.”   In 1 or 2 minutes if they haven’t given the other person a turn.  Then remind them that the other child would like a turn.   The younger a child learns these the better.  Encourage the use of polite words like “please” and “thank you”.

Never force a child to share.  Never let a child keep a toy they have taken from another child.  Always make them give it back.  Even if the child is older.   Teach children to use words to ask for something. 

Children will learn patience, how to ask for what they want, and learn to love sharing. 

Enjoy the little ones in your life.

“Don’t” isn’t a word that children understand.

When you tell a child, “Don’t touch the stove.”, all they hear is, “Touch the stove.”

It is better to say what you want them to do such as: “Stand back!  It is hot.” or “Stop!  The stove is hot”.  This is hard to do, but instructions or rules given in a positive manner, always works better.

Examples:

“Keep your hands to yourself.”

“Keep all four legs of your chair on the floor.”

Good luck on making directions more positive!

This is the most important discipline tip.   You must genuinely care for the children in your life.  It needs to be unconditional.

The younger the child the more they can read your mind.  If you are afraid, joyful, loving, happy,  prejudice, angry; children will know without any words.   Anger and all emotions are a CHOICE.  You truely can choose what emotion you will have when you deal with the children in your life.  Choose to be happy and possitive.

Practice loving unconditionally without fear, prejudice or anger.   It is magical!    Try to never React!  Everything will run smoother.  Noone can do this 100% of the time.   Good Luck!

(The only exceptions are some children with learning disabilities.)  Many people like to give rewards or treats as a part of teaching.  This practice creates more problems than it solves.  When we use treats/bribes/rewards with children that already have a desire to learn, we replace their love-to-learn, with a love to get treats.  The more you can help children tap into their own internal love-to-learn, the more self-motivated the child is.

If you are working with very young children don’t start using treats for winning games, or for finishing school work etc.  Share with them the excitement of learning new things.   When they show you their work or picture, ask them what they think.

Older children, who have lost some of their love-to-learn, need your help to recognize the fun in learning.  Help them see how much they have learned and the natural rewards from that knowledge.  Keep excited about learning and they will catch your excitement.

It is harder to find natural rewards and motivations but the results are more permanent.

Go outside:  Find a way to incorporate what you want to teach or accomplish by going outside.

Creative art projects:  Do fingerpainting, homemade playdough,  torn paper spring collage, etc.

Sensory activities:  Do sand or bean play, water play (wash the play dishes by hand), pudding painting, etc.

Vary the routine:  Have the children help create a new routine.

Music:  Incorporate music in whatever you can.  They will remember what you are teaching and they will love it.  Also, bring out the rhythm instuments, play a marching song and have a marching band.

Exercize:   Go for a walk, do yoga, do boot camp,  etc.

Spring Fever accept it and work with it.  Enjoy the children in your life.