LOl. Here I am, being a little nostalgic. Thinking back my life in A0606 for 1 and a half year… Great housemates, as well as the 2 PR filled my life back there with laughter, fun and most importantly LAME JOKES.

Wan Yi, My petite, sweet roomie. Thank you for being a great roommate, though she might look cold, but then she is always like a small “mama”, taking care of us when we were ill, reminding us to drink more water. Lol^^ She would make a good wife in the future

Moo, My dear housemate. Thanks for being supportive and listened to my craps all day long. She is always there, being a good listener as well as giving me great advices when I am down. And yea, Moo, I still remember the first advice you gave me, though it is still on Casa wall. (Forgot to take down, Pai Seh) LOL. And, I still remember how friendly you are on the first day, how u introduced yourself, and how u filled the unit with laughter.

Wei Xin, My Dear. Congratulation for being awarded as the Permanent Resident of 0606. Hahaha, watching TV together, gossiping, and sometimes sleeping with us back there are memories to be cherished. Honestly, she is the girl who I thought I would never like (who ask you to walk away so unfriendly on the first day), but well, that’s the interesting part of friendship rite, those who dislike each other most would end up as best friends ^^

And, not to forget Ken, my girl girl, “ge ge”. We had been fighting since we met. Yea, and when he first introduced himself in Mandarin ” Lai Jian” I had been trying to figure out which “jian”. Haha, no need to be too specific, I know u understand :p Despite all the squabbling, “fighting” (though he never fought back, and that’s the good part), he has been nice.. occasionally. Lol. And yea, I am still waiting for the letter!

We know each other for only 1 and a half year, but it seems to be forever....

Also, my other housemate, Aqila, our rep. A really nice girl. Though sometimes crazy, and that’s why we are crowned as ” Unit Crazy” Lol. Hope you and Fati be together forever. Love you, lao po

Ketua gila :p

And also Dida, well, she is hot, though sometimes quite Bxxxxx. Lol. WE do click in some way, and is fun to have her in our unit. And yea, u look great in your prom dress!

All the best in your future, both studies and love life. Hope you will find your true love ^^

Nabila! You are the funny one, as well as the hard working one. I had seen her being in her room the whole day, studying! Lol. But so sorryyyyyy, I dun have a photo of her….

Lastly, not to forget, My ” AH MA” , JIA SHEEN. Though she was supposed to be Moo’s roommate, but then i guessed she can’t live without her parents. Lol. Rice cooker=magic cooker. That’s what she knows. Pathetic. lol. Bimbotic all the while, which I can’t stand initially, maybe now still can’t stand a bit. Despite of everything, I know she have been kind to me, and I know you love me. Muackkksss :p

I love this photo. Lol.

And again, I miss u all ….

This is my dear friend Sarah whom I miss VERY much! 

 I stole this beautiful photo from her facebook and I hope that she does not mind. (I am keeping it up either way, JOKES!)

So when is our next KOL adventure taking place?

Mattthew Followill.. in the shower. (insert music)

I watched the brilliant, illuminated “M” (for Mines) fade into the distance as the blue and orange bird carried me on farther through the darkness towards home. I never felt the wetness on my cheek, nor the sting of tears in my eyes until steadily the drops rolled through the creases of my pursed lips and I tasted the salty displeasure. I am not certain what brought me to tears; it could be the thought of leaving behind some of the most gorgeous sites I have ever laid eyes on… it might be that I am now back in my own aggravating adult reality where I have to be responsible and make a decision that will impact my life majorly, or it very well could be because I had to yet again turn around and walk away from a person that I appreciate and deeply admire. Either way, I am grateful for making the voyage even after I told myself not to do so. Sometimes second-guesses are just recoveries for lasting impressions.

Let us regress to the beginning: My plane touched down, I say touched, but really it was more like slammed. I suppose the flight attendant’s stand-up comedy routine was over compensating for the pilots impending failure. The heaviest of sleepers jumped awake, startled by the impact and I am certain that at least one guy bumped his head on the overhead cabin. Even the small child behind me verbalized his disapproval. He also mocked the flight attendant for the duration of the flight, but for the first time in my long 24 years of life, I was not annoyed. Shocked? Yeah, me too!

Denver airport was much easier to maneuver than Las Vegas airport; why? Because there were no stumbling drunks and flashy casino lights distracting travelers. We in Denver, as a herd of cattle would, walked in sync towards the baggage claim… and I illuminated the halls with my ear to ear smile and apparently tainted it with my not-so-obvious-to-anyone-but-native-Coloradans Texas drawl, open-toed heels and paper thin tank top. (Granted I was not made aware until later in my trip that Texans were not welcomed with open arms in the great state of Colorado). So why the goofy smile if I am obviously a potential target for mockery? I knew that not just a warm, snuggly jacket and lambskin lined Crocs were waiting for me at the baggage claim… a 5′10, blue-eyed brunette with the smile that lights up the sky and a lip bite that is cuter than mine (trust me, another shocker, I am aware ) was waiting to wrap me in the greatest bear hug in the history of “huggage.”

Now, keep in mind that this guy is several years younger than me and is not a potential suitor even though he is insanely attractive in his own right. When he is not being a typical Colorado School of Mines student, he is definitely a pleasure to be around- apparently the brilliance of these students exempts them from ever being wrong… I think that it is also the male default mentality so I really do not hold it against him. In truth, I am certain there is much that irks us both about each other, but the offsets in personality seem to also be complimentary and allow a solid friendship to thrive. Which is what inevitably brought me to beautiful Golden, CO.

To say that this past weekend was incredible provides very little justice- the experience is insurmountable. Between real snow, indoor sand volleyball and a mountain-top sunrise, I was exposed to more firsts than a lowly Houston girl could fathom during a mini-vacation. There were also slippery sidewalks, a 7 foot tall college student, Coors brewery and fondue! Yes, Andrew spoiled me terribly throughout my stay; I have no complaints.

There were a few rocky spots (and I do not mean those beautiful, rolling mountains). At La Fondue, I was made fully aware of the general dislike of Texans. Be sure to lie about where you are from if it happens to be Texas. The waitress was bubbly, adorably making small talk until she mistakenly asked me where I was from. She fell absolutely silent and I think she might have rolled her eyes when I very proudly responded “Houston!” Talk about awkward! Neither Andrew nor I knew how to react to her reaction and since she was stirring in the first of our 3-cheese fondue appetizer, we had to endure a solid 2 minutes of tension. I swear it felt like an eternity before she finally, silently, fled the table. I can only imagine her discomfort, especially with the pronounced glances that Andrew and I kept throwing one another. I do not recall her ever returning to the table through the duration of our meal… fortunately, the servers work in groups. She specialized in cheese; bet her mom is so proud. Wonder if she is from Wisconsin *hmm*

At least the valets were not as put off by my southern blood, but unfortunately for Andrew, the guy who fetched his truck did not know how to handle a manual transmission. Lucky him that I was in town for damage control! We went to a toy store for a bit of comedic relief and then I had a chance to prove to him that I can in fact handle a stick quite well. I am a Texan after all! However, it is not recommended in the mountainous terrain and weather conditions of Colorado unless you are a trained professional, just sayin’.

WARNING: This paragraph gets mushy for a brief moment. We woke up at 6:15am on Sunday morning to grab breakfast- Venti soy, no water Vanilla Rooibos tea latte for me and a sausage, egg and cheese bagel for him that was later described as orgasmic by one of his volleyball teammates. We then proceeded to drive up the mountain to look out point to watch the sun rise promptly at 7am. I know what you are thinking- straight to DVD, chick flick material, but the act of driving me up there with the intent of it being romantic is as mushy as it gets (I told you that it was brief). Andrew remained in the truck with his bagel and rap music… and heater, while I froze my tush off in an effort to snag some rather poor quality photos of the overlook. I must admit though, that he was beyond adorable all bundled up in the truck savoring every bite of his bagel. I mean, really:

We eventually had to venture back down the mountain to meet his team for the indoor volleyball tournament. His teammates ranged from about 5′6 to 7 foot tall (seriously). However, Mines is and engineering school- a way of life so it seems- and is not known for its athletics, so it came as no surprise to me that the team was almost totally dominated. Rest easy, Andrew gave me fair warning just as he did about the warm, Colorado welcome I was bound to receive during my trip. Only, I am familiar with volleyball (and losing) so there was no surprise. As I sarcastically scoff, I say that I am an absolute stranger to rejection. HA! I wish. Anyway, despite my teasing/critiquing of Andrew’s performance, he really is a pleasure to watch. He is vocal, intense and at times I swear he jumps as high as I am tall. When he sets, well, he knows…

Now that I have literally written through the duration of my flight home, I am descending into Houston and I honestly do not find myself thrilled by this reality. I am anxious to see my pup and my family, but Colorado is hands down the most naturally beautiful and intriguing state I have visited thus far.

Anyway, I already miss Andrew. Funny how in the most random places we make unlikely friends, but they impact our lives enough to almost instantaneously secure a place in our lives forever. Yeah, he happens to be one of those individuals, aka, a pretty rad dude.

We met on a scrapbooking message board, in a thread I started years ago. It began as a place to share your “true confessions,” but over time it evolved into a haven of friendship. I called them my TC Girls, and we shared our lives– the good and bad and funny and weird and creepy and disgusting and messy and awesome. We exchanged addresses and Christmas cards; added one another as friends on facebook; became deeply involved in each other’s lives. People thought I was strange for calling these women my friends– these people I had never met.

But I knew better.

When I lost Elijah nearly two years ago, these dear ladies wept with me. They rallied round and showered my family with love– cards, gifts, prayers. Their love and support– often in the middle of the night when no one else could talk– was one of the things that brought me through those darkest days.

Though our relationships have changed– though we have had drama and loss and heartache and seen people come and go– they are still my dear, dear TC girls.

And now, we walk the valley of shadow again.

One of the TC Girls passed away this morning– suddenly, unexpectedly. She was not old; she was not ill.

Yesterday she ordered Christmas gifts online for her daughters. Today she is gone.

I miss her already.

It’s so trite– but sometimes we need to hear the truth, whether it seems trite or not.

We only have this moment. We are not guaranteed another day, another hour.

Hug your babies. Call your friends. Tell your husband you love him. Take your children for a walk. Put your change in the kettle. Read the Bible. Be the person you hope to be someday. Smile. Laugh. Live.

Today, I am unwrapping this moment– this precious gift from God. It’s all I have.

We love you and miss you Diane. Thanks for the reminder to cherish each moment.

The best laid plans of mice and men…

I spent all that time on Saturday and Sunday creating my first lesson plan with all its graphics and worksheets, only to have to redo much of it tonight after today’s talk with my mentor. That sucks because I had hoped to have tonight to prepare Wednesday’s lesson. This means that instead of being a day ahead on every lesson, I am now down to having only the night before to get everything created and executed for the following day. I’ve already used up my buffer day. Grrr.

One of these days, when and if I’m ever a real teacher, I am going to do as I see the other real teachers doing and grab a lot of stuff already prepared out of books. But for the practicum, we aren’t really supposed to cut corners like that. We are supposed to create our own materials. This is one time when I wish I could lock my inner perfectionist in the closet and get on with things. SIGH.

Well, the good news is that I am done with tomorrow’s prep, though it took me from 3:30 till now, and can go to sleep at a reasonable hour. Tomorrow night I probably won’t be able to say the same. But hey, it’s only one week of my life and one of the five days is already behind me.

=============

This morning something so bizarre happened, I can’t even put it into words.

I had hoped to be showered so very early that I could be in and out of the kitchen for my oatmeal before host mom even arrived on the scene. I failed by ten minutes, though, and paid for it dearly.  I don’t want to say right now what the exchange was exactly, but I can tell you that it left me feeling violated. It also caused me to boot up my laptop a) to check Snopes.com to see if this person was just spreading a grotesque urban legend and b) to search for someone to whom I could vent and unload some of the toxic nastiness that had just been unloaded on me.  The first email in my inbox was from my mom, who is also one of my best friends. So she was the lucky recipient of my brief rant.

I might blog in detail about this exchange later, just to get advice from you on how I should have handled it. But tonight I must make this brief and get to sleep.

Blessedly, the second email was from my new friend and former classmate R, whose words you can see in the comments on my post Impermanence (Anicca).

Can you imagine how those words lifted me from the toxic cloud I had moments before been trying to claw my way out of? They did. They made me beam and remember who I am. To remember who I am was something I desperately needed at that moment.

Then I thought about what another friend wrote to me not too long ago:

I experience “light” when I am with you. It is a lightness of spirit and,
when you smile, a brilliance. It’s a most welcome thing, Grace.
Thank you for blessing the world, me, with your light.

Light or The Light is one of the central theme of Quakerism. Instead of saying, “I’ll pray for him,” many Friends would say, “I’ll hold him in the Light.” We are asked to see that of God in everyone. One of my favourite Quaker songs is this one.

I pulled myself together and stepped into the image my two friends had painted for me of myself.

As the subway train nears the end of my commute, it surfaces from underground for about a mile. As the train and I came up out of the dark, cool earth, a blinding sun–low over the horizon–assaulted my eyes like a million angels with blaring trumpets, refusing to be ignored. I let the rays bathe my face as the train carried me to my destination.

* = GiST 209

I wrote this poem last year, but I wanted to post it again in time for the holidays Have fun reading it! Can you relate?

WHAT’S A FUNNY HOLIDAY STORY YOU FEEL LIKE SHARING?

FAMILY TIMES

It’s great to have family!

They’re amusing as Hell!

When we all get together,

all we do is YELL, YELL, YELL!

I am especially amused,

When the grandparents say,

” One day I’ll be dead and you’ll

be sorry you acted this way!”

Then the parents chime in

and say, “Shut up, that’s not nice!.”

I am ready to say something,

but I just ” stop ” and think twice!

Why bother, I figure

It all sounds the same,

I guess we have anxiety

and stress to blame!

But when the pleasant event is

all said and done,

We give each other hugs good-bye,

and say “THIS WAS FUN!”

You figure it out!

Believe in Yourself;

Luisa Doraz

Photo by VC Ferry

I thought of you at this moment…
I rarely do, I have better things to
tend to now.
We were notorious young ingenue
outlaws, we played a mean game of
Scrabble remember? Inviting boys over

for some wordplay.
Shooting pool at The Corner Pocket on
Sunset Blvd. Carousing with the best
and the worst of them. The riff- raff
misfits and renegades.

I found a way to misfit in.

I liked when you played your piano and sang
“Desperado” it was sad and lovely
and sad.
We had lots of loaded fun before you would
turn into ‘Ms. Hyde’ about twice a week, it
got to be, before your hateful
hissing venom spitting fork tongue
bit me through the slow gin fizzes.
We laughed and gorged and purged
up a thunderstorm. Flailing across country
in a black-out, landing in a jail cell in Banning.
You drove. You were always in the driver seat.
I rode shotgun and handed you my I.D.
I hated loving you, my wildebeest
bad girl, partner in ‘drama queen’ crime.

Try saying that 3 times sober…
Our tiaras tilted, our crowns cut like
thorns on roses.

We bled

together

as girlfriends do.

L. K. Thayer

All Rights Reserved

© 2009

duh pagi2 uda dapet award dari bu guru sobatku yang cantik ini, jadi terharu secara ini awardkyu yang pertamaxxx.

thanks auntie desri, for being my friend, for share your happiness n knowledge… n o’ course, for giving me this award… hope our friendship last forever… n silaturahmi tetap terjaga baik juga dengan teman2 lainnyaaaa…. LOP U ALL, SAHABATS!!!

n award ini khan harus diteruskan ke sahabat2 yang lain untuk menjaga persahabatan ini tetap terjalin… maka this award is also dedicated for :

1. pakdhe cholik

2. mba nop

3. ma sista in law – tanti

4. yang katanya masi kenyis-kenyis, ismi humairo

5. bundo nakjadimande

6. wi3nd

7. zee

8. alamendah

9. abeecdick

10. tiwi

11. mas badruz

12. mas dasir

13. allz ;P

n of course ucapan terima kasih juga kuucapkan kepada mas wongjalur yang sudah memberikan award ini ke bu guru desri sehingga bisa diteruskan ke sahabat-sahabat lainnya…

last but not least (again..) hope these friendships last 4ever… amiinnn… LOP U ALL, SAHABATS!!!

If the person you’re talking to doesn’t appear to be listening, be patient. It may simply be that he has a small piece of fluff in his ear. (from Winnie the Pooh by A.A. Milne)

Well well well, I sit here drinking my orange juice, with pulp, yuk, but still good. I thought I’d better update this blog.
I originally had another post after the one in August that insulted my ex boyfriend very much, but, cause I was so nice and all, I took it off. I still have it actually, he probably still thinks I deleted it and it’s gone forever, lol lol lol.
So anyway, yeah, news flash, a lot has changed since I last blabbed on here. Let’s see, did alright in my trials I guess, and it didn’t help feeling so depressed at the time cause of that stupid break up.
I think I also need this rant to let off some steam instead of telling everyone about it all the time.
Anywho, so yeah, then another ex of mine who I dated in 2007, we got talking again and liked each other and met up [against my mum's will which pissed her off]. And that was a heaps good day. And then a couple of weeks later he just fucks me off for some bitchy cheating lying fuckhead of a girl. Throughout their time together, she would constantly say how she was gunna run off with her exes that night and ‘do things’ with them (despite being a virgin and all aye). My ex would come back to me at those times telling me how shit he felt, and I was there for him, to be his friend.
Then later on in early October, me and him met up (or rather, he cheated on his supposed girlfriend with me). Then he ignores me. Like for fuck’s sake, if you were gunna feel guilty about it, don’t bother next time. Then a few weeks later they broke up.
Anywaaayyy, fast forwarding to now, I just recently got a new boyfriend, who is ever so gorgeous and sexy =] But because of this, I hurt that ex (the one I just told you about). But I cannot go back to my ex, I don’t want to go backwards, I want to go forwards in my life. He had the chance, it’s gone now. It’s black or white, you either want me or you don’t. You wanna break my heart? Fine. But you just lost my trust, my possibility liking for you in the future, fuck you lost it all. I’ll only do friendship.
The way he acted or ‘gave me hints’ wasn’t like a normal person wanting to be a boyfriend would be like. It was more like a friends with benefits way. We had talked about it once before in one of the three times he came back to me – there were things we didn’t like about each other, so, even he said, he won’t ever do it again, whether it was seeing me or dating me I guess. Soooo, me being human, assumed nothing would ever come about again. Even if the hints did ever point out something to do with becoming a couple, I would have probably dismissed it anyway, because hey, what goes around comes around.
Also, from my new relationship, I think it hurt another guy I had started talking to a couple of weeks before. He was a guy up at Mt. Colah, and we would muck around on MSN and stuff. It was nice, but the only explanation for him deleting me off Facebook and MSN is cause I got a boyfriend now and he obviously got cut. Why else?
Well, it’s not my fault. Really. If you wanted me, you should’ve acted on it, faster. I had even said that I was gunna meet up with this new guy (who’s my boyfriend now) and I was nervous about it cause I don’t normally meet up with totally new peoples. They both seemed like they didn’t care lol. Kinda funny, they probably thought nothing would work out. But something did. A new relationship yuuuuhhhh.
I admit, it was a bit understandable cause I was gunna meet up with him a month before buuuttt I didn’t wanna just yet cause I didn’t feel like I knew him enough. But me and him just clicked haha, it was a really good day. We then caught up again the next two days and started going out officially. It was awesome =]
So anyway, moving onto a different area, I finally finished the HSC miraculously. I can’t believe I survived. Everyone whinged about the Studies of Religion 1 exam where the last essay question wasn’t right apparently, and wasn’t according to the syllabus shit. But oh well.
The exam questions were all good, except for the Business Studies essay question, fuck, they were both shit.
And then, on November 13, I had my 18th birthday and formal on. That was heaps good. I went in my Dad’s ‘72 Ford Fairmont. We were the first car to arrive and get photos taken. I thought my organising of everything was a fluke. I only just decided how I wanted my hair on that day haha, which was loose curls pulled up with my fringe sitting nice. There are pics on my Facebook.
So yeah, anyway, that’s the end of my ranting for now. Come back soon or I’ll let you know on Facebook if I post anything.
xox – Kimmeh – xox

I got home this evening after an uncomfortable seven-hour train ride in.  It wouldn’t have been so bad if the girl sitting next to me didn’t have all of the yummiest food in the world and if she hadn’t fallen asleep on me.  I counted down the hours minute-by-minute which was a huge mistake.  However, it made arriving in my sweet little hometown that much more exciting.

After spending eighteen years saying, “I hate this town!  I can’t wait to get out of here!” I’ve suddenly realized that I understand all of those universal quotes about home being all sweet and stuff.   It’s a bittersweet love that I have for this humble place.  Even now, just sitting in my house with not much to do is comforting although I know I’ll be begging to be back at school in no time.  But for now, it’s great to be some place I feel completely comfortable at, not that I’m uncomfortable at school or at friends’ houses, but this is the place where I can sit alone without worrying about entertaining anyone or keeping up a conversation, I can pick through the refrigerator over and over again without feeling rude, I can turn on the T.V. or sit at the computer, and I can sleep with all the cozy surroundings that I grew up with (my nieces waking up early and playing, the NFL football theme song, my families’ laughter etc.).

I guess you could say I’m a family oriented person.  And I know everyone says this, but my family is insanely dysfunctional.  Most people say it makes them crazy but they love their family anyway, I say that I have a crazy family and that’s why I love them.  It drives me insane to see such formal relationships between parents and their kids but in my family, we’re all best friends who fight like dramatic middle schoolers and care like we’re our own first loves.  I absolutely adore it!

Aside from my family, my hometown also plays a huge part of my love for being here.  Main Street is small, it’s lit up by local stores that everyone supports every day.  People recognize each other which makes it a very smiley place.  There isn’t anything more upsetting then walking down a street throwing smiles at people who stare blankly ahead like it would be a hassle to show even the slightest bit of happiness and believe me, Brattleboro understands this better than anywhere else.  I love the people around here.  It may not be very diverse in terms of race, but in terms of personality and beliefs, we kick everyone’s butt.  In the summertime, walking down Main Street can be quite the adventure; there are nudists, musicians, parents, children, poets, politicians, liberals, democrats, (some) republicans, pets, bikers, joggers, and skateboarders.  I know that these people live everywhere, but around here, they all respect each other which is the one thing I pride in my town.  Of course there are the bad things around here, a few stupid crimes from time-to-time and fist fights that get people all riled up, but those are the events that only make us closer.

I remember this summer while I was at work, a friend, Nina, came to visit me.  She and I were standing in the store catching up and making plans to hang out when a group of customers came in.  I smiled at them and said Hello, while Nina smiled and said to one of the older ladies, “Hey, how are you?!  Do you still have that bracelet?”  The lady put her wrist out and excitedly showed her a gorgeous silver bracelet.  She said that she had yet to take it off.  They all continued walking through the store when Nina turned to me with a genuinely happy expression and explained, “She pointed out my bracelet once while we were waiting to cross.  She said she loved it so I gave it her and she’s still wearing it!”  I was touched by this simple story because of how happy and connected it had made everyone feel.  They didn’t know each other but it didn’t stop them from being great people to one another, and that’s something I respect about small towns like this.

I can’t wait to go downtown tomorrow and stop by all my favorite stores to say Hi to all my favorite people.  It’ll be a breath of fresh air before I go back to school and get ready for next months Exams:/

All my love,

Chelsy!

My mom found this the other day. I think Danny wrote it in 4th grade. (you gotta love the illustration!)

One would expect a little brother, three years junior to his sister, would idolize her at that age and write something sweet like this. But what got me as I read this was how close they have become now that they are grown. Not just siblings, they are truly friends who always have each other’s back.

‘I hope you be with me till the day I die’

And that, my friends, is a hell of a way to start Thanksgiving. Welcome home Jana-girl – nothing like everyone sleeping in their own beds!

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

:  :  :  :  :  :  :  :  :  :  : 

I often wonder how friendships are made. I wonder often, too, how they sustain.

The two hour trek to Stamford was one of these times. Paige at the wheel and I in the passenger seat, I let my mind drift into and out of possible friendship theories as we made our way down I-95 to see our friend RJ and his band Jacques Le Cocque play Seaside Tavern on Saturday night.

My friendships with RJ and Paige serve as a great point of reference on the matter. They allow me to further develop my thoughts on how it is that we make connections with people—and keep them—throughout life.

I met RJ through my already best friend Paige over a few beers and some good conversation. Paige and RJ had recently returned from a semester spent abroad in London. I listened as they recounted some of their shared English experiences and even their adventures that happened in venues beyond the Channel. I recognized that, even despite their twinned travels, Paige and RJ shared deeper, more inherent commonalities. I enjoyed spending time with them and their connection indirectly, albeit vicariously.

After that night, which was spent under dimly lit lights in a choice bar near campus and even outside its doors smoking cigarettes while talking about film and family stories, Paige, RJ, and I spent an exponentially increasing amount of time together. Soon, RJ and Paige assimilated me into their friendship; I even developed one with RJ, whom I now consider one of my best and closest friends.

I met Paige randomly during our first semester at UConn through our mutual friend Yuka. I met Yuka randomly too through my then roommate Eliza; Eliza and I had not been paired as roommates. My scheduled roommate had not shown, and I had a spare bed in my dorm room. Eliza came to me per recommendation of a campus coordinator because of the vacancy in my two-person room. When she told me about her current roommate troubles and her overwhelming desire to leave her assigned room, I had no reason to turn her away, so I let her move in. It’s strange to think: I would have never met Yuka or Paige if I did.

Then there’s Vicky. I met her, too, during my first semester away at college. We were casual friends, losing touch unless living in the same dorm. Then, during my last year at UConn, while on my way to the commuter parking lot, I heard someone calling “Erika” behind me.

‘It couldn’t be me she’s calling for,’ my subconscious assured me, ‘Nearly everyone I know here has graduated.’

Then the call grew closer.

Then there was a hand on my shoulder.

I turned.

“Hey!” I said. It was Vicky.

“Hi! How are you?” she returned.

Vicky was surprised to see someone she hadn’t seen in so long too—hence her vivacious call. We talked for almost two hours everything. In the weeks that followed, we kindled a close friendship that lasted through that semester, the next one (despite Vicky having graduated), and even beyond (I was even a bridesmaid at her wedding).

But, what if we had never run into each other that day?

Where would we be now?

Sometimes mutuality isn’t enough to create friendships…

Sometimes a little serendipity does the trick.

Friendships are things we should feel safe in; places where we can share our thoughts, our feelings, and our fears. I’ve found this sense of safety in many of my friendships.

I’ve heard that “To know someone is to love them.” I believe that’s true.

I’ve heard, too, that the strongest connections are made when they’re based on commonality in things we hate dislikes. I’m not too sure about this one. Maybe alliances are, but are friendships…?

Your early twenties are, have been, or most likely will be the most dynamic and arguably unstable period of your life… Or maybe that’s just how they’ve been for me. Your late teens and early twenties signal a lot of personal life changes. For example, the legal ability to remove your self entirely from your parents and/or guardians means a lot. No longer do you have to quell your feelings in fear of having no place to go and little chance to get your own if you’re kicked out of your ‘rents’.

If you’re like me, you’ve heard about settling down—with one person, in one place, at one company—and if you’re like me, you think that sucks. Your twenties are a time when you can put that sort of thing off as long as possible. It turns out that being “stuck in the middle” isn’t so bad, especially when you have some good friends to be stuck there with.

Yet, these years of revelry can be a difficult time too. Like my dad’s always said, “With freedom comes responsibility.” Unfortunately, it’s easy to lose your footing in your final teen years, not to mention in your early twenties. The newly found taste of unabashed freedom is sweet… until you boot the rancid bile that is responsibility into your toilet bowl the morning after.

If, in fact, you do make it past your twenty fifth year (and come out alive), there are still another five years to go ‘til you hit 30—which is apparently the new 20—and who’s to say that you’ll even have friends after your 24^th year?

Maybe leaving college, enrolling in a full-time professional/graduate degree program, movin’ ‘cross country to your first ‘real’ job, or ‘actually growing up’ will be more than your friendships can handle. Life changes like these hold the potential of snuffing out the last burning embers of friendship. There’s only so much uprooting and re-rooting that a person’s psyche can handle too. After all this change, who’s to say you’ll even be in the mood to make new friends / keep in contact with your old ones?

After our two-hour trek was complete, Paige and I arrived in Stamford. We spent Friday night with RJ, talking over food and beers at a local tavern. Then Saturday rolled around—and the long-awaited performance of Jacques Le Cocque glistened on the horizon. By 11 pm, I was three beers deep and dancing at Seaside’s second reggae band. By midnight, I was searching for Paige and her curly blonde hair, her water in one hand and my forth beer in the other.

I finally spotted her during Jacques Le Cocque’s third song and joined her on the dance floor. We danced, we sang, we cheered… and so did everyone else. The stage was practically rushed by the bar’s crowd. Some people had come to Seaside just to hear Jacques Le Cocque rock out with some garage punk songs—others stuck around to listen.

Half-way though their set, despite my heightened dance-induced heart rate and my alcohol intake, I noticed a forty-year-old man waiting for some vacancy in the restroom. He was watching the band and its crowd; and he smiled.

I realized that, rather than developing my theories on friendship or worrying about how best to sustain it, I should just enjoy it, the moment, and all the crazy places it takes me. The manual can wait.

I am thankful for everything that My Creator has provided.

I am thankful for all the caring shown by those who love me.

I am thankful for income tax because it means that I’ve made money.

I am thankful for my retirement account for it is a cushion for my future.

I am thankful for a sink full of dirty dishes because it meant that I had food to eat.

I am thankful for a hamper full of dirty clothes because it means that I have clothes to wear.

I am thankful for my mortgage because it means I have a home.

I am thankful for my pets and friends who always make me feel accepted.

I am thankful to my enemies because it gives me greater appreciation for my friends and loved ones.

I am thankful for my medicine because God gave some the talent to heal.

I am thankful for my job because it allows me to provide for my family.

I am thankful for you because you are a special person and the world deserves to know you as you are truly meant to be.

Retell: A history of presidents and their beloved pets.

Topics: pets, presidents, fun, friendship, dogs, Obama, Bo, family

Units of Study: Nonfiction, Content Area

Reading Skills: synthesis, making connections, interpretation

Writing Skills: developing voice in nonfiction

My Thoughts: I picked this book up a few days ago at our school’s book fair.  I have a lot of animal lovers in my class who only read nonfiction about animals.  This book combines an interest in animals with an interest in presidential history and current events.  It’s a nice book for demonstrating how readers can often get distracted by seductive details but must work constantly to think about what the author is trying to say about the topic.

Dear Donny,

Unfortunately, the first time I saw you in the gym I was very triggered. Your massive frame included well shape pecs, arms and legs. Your flat stomach and presences projected the masculinity I felt lacking in myself. You wore a tank top. Your arms and legs were shaved and I could see your vascular definition and the success of all your hard work. I watched as you exercised with the cable-cross and bench press. I am sorry to say that at that point in time I was actively involved in getting massages from masculine men as well as giving them for sensual purposes. I would often walk away from the gym wondering and then fantasizing what it would be like to work on you or to receive a massage from you. I wanted to absorb your masculine energy.

You represented at the time a core faulty belief of mine that I am not good enough or masculine enough as a man. I recognize that this was my own shortcoming and have learned through group therapy what this represents for me. I recognize that I will never be your size even though I have put many hours in the gym without coming close to your results. It is my curse as a hard-gainer. I realize that I have no right to objectify you and I actually just want to thank you. You are a husband and a father and just another bud at the gym.

During one of my trigger events earlier this year, I actually walked up and spoke to you while you were doing a chest workout. It took a lot of energy and courage for me to step into that trigger. I felt a high level of anxiety as I approached you but tried to be cool. You were absolutely amazing. Instead of freaking out about my compliments and questions on your chest workout, you finished your set and spent thirty minutes with me to help me practice my own form and discuss nutrition. It was amazing how stepping into the trigger and humanizing you as an individual was so empowering. I felt connected and disarmed the emotions that I was feeling. I never felt trigger by you again but wanted to connect as a friend.

As I have run into you throughout this year, you have introduced me to your wife, complemented my own results and last Saturday slapped me on the back as you were walking by and I did not see you. You have no idea what that acknowledgment felt like to me emotionally. I have no longer objectified you and directed sexual energy towards you as a result of your unknown kindness. You have helped me realize that all guys in the gym are checking each other out and challenging each other to get bigger and stronger every day.

More importantly, you have helped me build a positive thought practice around how I have handled similar situations in the gym. Again, I deeply apologize and will no longer objectify you. I even invited you Saturday to go hiking to get to know you better as a friend.

Sincerely

Aidan

Let’s face it: we live in a world continuously growing in reliance on technology. I’ve read several things (blogs, articles, etc.) in the past about how the popularity of social networks on the Internet makes it easier to keep in touch with friends and family. While that’s always a good thing, especially for college graduates who move far away, but still wish to keep in touch with people, there’s always that question about letting people move on and essentially forget about each other.

College has taught me a lot about friendship. Though there are some moments that I tell myself I’d rather forget, each taught (and still teaches) me a little bit more about the value of friendship. I’ll admit that making friends isn’t something that comes easily to me. Maybe I don’t “get out there” enough, or maybe I’m fulfilling this psychological concept I vaguely remember hearing in my personality class. Either way, it seems clear that the friends who stick around (and the people actually worth keeping) are the ones I met in “abnormal ways.”

Wrestling with the concept of friendship is something on my mind a lot, especially with graduation less than a month away. I ask myself practically every day: What is it about this person that makes her worthy of my friendship? Which of the people whom I’ve met in college are going to be around in a month, a year, or even ten years? Will the existence of social networks and other fast communication tools (e.g. texting) be the only thing that keeps us together? Does that make it a true friendship, or is there something that must struggle through time to prove itself reliable?

My final question is one I pose to readers: what fills the role of “friendship” in your mind? Is it just a label for people you hang out with on occasion? Or is there a deeper, more long-term commitment that’s unspokenly expected? How does modern technology affect your answer? Curious questions for a curious mind… :-/

My friend William “Bill” Wallace, and yes, he is my dear friend, has asked that I summit Mt. Rainier with him.

We were at Hudson Grill in Alphartetta. And, yes, there were spirits involved.

…I’ll wager of several varieties.

I’ve said yes. And, our goal is for  June 2010.

There will be updates. Indeed. And, this story promises to be naught less than epic, to be sure.

Training begins, in earnest, December.

The mountain beckons. But, it’s friendship, and the promise of high adventure, that’s the beacon.

Peace be to my Brothers and Sisters.

Brian Patrick Cork

1.

The Bible – I am so thankful for God’s Holy Word, the Bible. There is no other book like it! I can’t begin to tell you how many times I have received strength, encouragement and direction through the teaching, preaching and reading of the Word of God. This book is inexhaustible. It’s so amazing to read a passage you have read before and have God show you something that you didn’t see the last time you read. It is our road map to Heaven, and without it, we would be lost. Thank you, Lord, for you divinely inspired, infallible, holy,  powerful,  unchangeable Word!

2. My church – When I say the church, I don’t mean the building, although I am thankful to be in our present location. I am talking about the people, my brothers and sister in Christ. I’m thankful for the way my life has been blessed through rubbing shoulders with all these fine folks, and it is a joy when you can see your brothers and sister growing in God.

3.

Our house – We came close to losing our home several times this year, but somehow God has seen fit to keep us in it, and I’m very thankful. We’ve made some great memories here, and it would be hard to leave this place, so I’m thankful that God is helping us to work things out with our loan situation. Thank you to all of you who have been praying for us too.

4. My job – I really had no desire to go back to work after being at home for the last 13 years. I had no idea what I would do either. I thank God for answering prayer and blessing me with a good part time job. The pay is better than I expected, and it is rewarding to be able to work with these children and their families.  I’m believing God to use me to reach out to these with whom I have contact.

I have been thinking about what it would take to move beyond my current state. Time is clearly a key factor, my memory will eventually fail me. If I wait another 24 years before I speak with her, no doubt I will have forgotten much of this experience. I could make a concerted effort to stop thinking about her. Honestly, I have not tried very hard yet to forget her. I don’t want to. In order to do so, I would have to throw away all the things that remind me every day of her: my new shoes I bought for Cloverleaf, my moose flood pajamas, my golf glove, anything made out of fleece, winter hats, the missing “v” key, the entire basement in my house, diet coke, my Oakley sunglasses, my parking space in the 92 lot at work, the chocolate swan story, Facebook and my collection of messages, the list could go on and on. I would have to stop reading all books, for fear that I might see a familiar word or phrase. I would have to refrain from ever visiting Walmart or Somerset Mall again. I could never watch the Hunchback of Notre Dame, or get anywhere near a showing of the Phantom of the Opera. I would have to stay away from hospitals – the beds, crutches, leg braces would all be too much to bear. The worst part of all, the one I fear the most, is that I would have to give up on love. The world is better place when I am in love, not just for me, but for all who cross my path.

So it’s been a while since I’ve posted on here apparently. I’ve even had a request or two (ok, only two) to post again! See, people love my ramblings. I’ve been crazy ass busy with school and work lately, but they’re both going pretty well. Work is boring as usual, but what would you expect?

School is actually going really well, which surprised me. I’d never really given a damn about school when I was in it before, but it’s funny how well you can do when you put your mind to it. Instead of being happy I got over a 70 on something, I’m pissed off when I get less than a 90. Also, the subjects I thought I would love, like Marketing, I’m hating and the subjects I thought I would hate, like Math, I’m loving. Weird how the world works sometimes.

Anyhoo, on with the main show. Tonight I started making one of my holiday favourites, Friendship Cake! I’ve tried finding a recipe online that is the same as mine, but to no avail. And I don’t really want to give the secret away (AKA I’m too frelling lazy to type the whole recipe out) so I’ll have to put it up in parts. Maybe you’ll keep coming back to check up on the recipe as well, nes pas?

The theory behind friendship cake is that you let fruit ferment and soak in it’s own juices for thirty days, then drain it and bake the fruit into a cake. Then you give the leftover juices to your friends, so they can start their own cake. Hence, the friendship part. I have no idea how you’re supposed to start the whole chain, I assume just let the fruit soak in it’s own juices. But we’ve had a jar of friendship juice that’s older than I am (which is now a liqueur…) that we’ve always used.

So to start, take 1.5 cups of the friendship juice, 2.5 cups of sugar and a 28 oz. can of peaches (with juice) and throw them into a big glass jar. Stir it until the sugar is dissolved, and then seal it tight. Our jug doesn’t seal well enough, so we put some saran wrap underneath of the lid. It should look something like this.

Unforch, my mother decided to empty out the fantastic friendship juice bottle while I was running downstairs to grab the camera. I’m still planning out her penance. It’s not really a big deal, because as you can guess, I’ll have a lot of juice left over by the time I’m done.

Now stir it every morning and every night for ten days, then you add the next few ingredients. Trust me, this cake is fantastic. Every time I have some to share with people (which isn’t often, I am pretty fat), it’s always a huge hit. If you want to start your own, you’d better get started soon in time for the holidays!!

On another note, I should be posting a lot more now that the holidays are coming up and I’ll be baking and cooking all the time, so keep checking back. Or if you’re following me on Twitter, watch my feed for updates. Thanks for coming!

Hi.
I have a problem.
My friend has really terrible ADD and sometimes she’s too violent. She also has a lot of issues. Like she doesn’t know when it’s appropriate to laugh. I got in trouble because she laughed too loudly.
She also has a sailor’s mouth.

I need to teach her some manners. Can you help me?
J

Dear J:

I’ve spent the last hour researching ADD and I’ve received some insight and information for you.  There are two great sites I’ve found so far for people with ADD, medically known as AD/HD.  They are: www.chadd.org/ and www.add.org/. You and your friend should check them out.

The short answer to your question is there’s very little you can do to help your friend with her manners.  You can take her aside and let her know what SPECIFICALLY about her behavior is inappropriate and give her an example of what an appropriate social behavior would be, but she may not even have the skills yet to understand what you’re talking about.

ADD varies in person to person, but it can include an inability to control one’s tongue, hence her swearing like a sailor, or laughing when she shouldn’t, or more violent tendancies like Opposional Defiant Disorder and Conduct Disorder which can cause her to become more violent.  These are things that need to be treated by a professional.

You were vague about your friend so I don’t know her age, if she’s on medication or in treatment etc.  If she’s not in treatment, she should be.  AD/HD is often misunderstood and misdiagnosed.  Often a combination of medication and counseling can help the person keep it under control.

What I found that you can encourage her to do is to get an ADD coach.   She can look for one in her area at: www.americoach.org or at: www.addcoachacademy.com. These seem to be the people who would be able to teach her some manners as you put it.

Please understand that this is an organic problem. Her brain simply doesn’t function the same way as yours does.  No matter how much help she gets, she still may be prone to outbursts or inappropriate behavior at times.  Thus it’s up to you to either set boundaries with her, i.e. not bring her to certain events or parties etc. where her behavior might get you into trouble, or put you in a bad spot with friends or colleagues, or to find a way to handle these moments with compassion and understanding as you would with a toddler who doesn’t know any better.

If you are in school or work together, then ask her to make the teacher, or your boss, aware of her condition, so that she, and you when you’re with her, are shown some lenience.  If you ‘get in trouble’ again because of her behavior, take whomever is punishing you aside privately and let them know that your friend has ADD and needs some special acceptance and understanding.
Hope this helps,

anny