How do I know you’re an overly emotional douchebag?… because you do shit like this…

Comcast subscribers were in a for a pleasant (?) surprise when tuning into “Rock of Love” recently. An apparently bitter employee used the program’s info as an outlet for his built-up resentment toward an ex-girlfriend. (HuffPo)

Tell em why you mad son!!!….  Really dude? Is it that serious? I guess it is. Now wouldn’t it suck all ass if this bitch subscribes to Dish Network?

Now that’s creative use of an elevator.

Verizon strikes again with a festive slam at AT&T.

First off, “Rudolph” is by far one of the best Christmas movies ever made, in my humble opinion, which bumps up their good taste ratings.

Secondly, Verizon just debuted their Droid to not-so-bad reviews, and since the phone is decent, all they need to do now is sell the network.  I think it’s a pretty safe strategy, even if the Droid doesn’t pan out to be the “iPhone killer” that they’re hoping for.  Either way, I’m enjoying the mudslinging.

Smiling like he just fucked a 17 yr old boy!

Sooo…we’ve heard the recent stories of you man Katt Williams being arrested for burglary n shit. Well…as it turns out ,He is in fact innocent of burglary, HOWEVER he may be guilty of a rump raid on a 17 yr old pickle smoker.

Check out the 911 call and decide for yourself.

Seriously tho…after hearing that hilarious shit… it makes this hilarious shit make much more sense…

I am a Boy Damon!!..or am I?

Mini Katt Williams

But seriously tho…Katt…What the fuck is wrong with you dude?  I mean..I always suspected you were an undercover pickle smoker…but to be flying out lil underage boys for you own sordid pleasure? WTF?!? I bet he had that house he was leasing smelling like stale perm and fresh asshole.

Remember this shit…?

Po lil pimp pimp….

Genius.

Even idiots think these guys are idiots.

How do you spell dumb?

With a permanent black marker, according to the police chief of a small Iowa town where two men allegedly used a marker — instead of a mask or stocking — to disguise their faces before trying to break into a home.

“They were being dumb and, combine that with alcohol, and it was the perfect storm,” Carroll Police Chief Jeff Cayler told CNN.

His officers were responding to a call about an attempted burglary when they pulled over a car matching the suspects’ vehicle.

Inside, they found two men with their faces blackened with permanent marker. Police said the caller had described two men with painted faces attempting to break into an apartment last Friday night before driving off.

Matthew McNelly, 23, and Joey Miller, 20, were arrested at gunpoint after officers were told they might be armed. Neither man had a weapon. McNelly and Miller were each charged with attempted second-degree burglary. Both men were released after posting bond.

“We’re very skilled investigators and the black faces gave them right away,” Cayler joked. “I have to assume the officers were kind of laughing at the time. I’ve never heard of coloring your face with a permanent marker.”

Cayler said police believe one of the alleged burglars targeted the home because he suspected his girlfriend had a relationship with the man who lived there.

“They probably were just not thinking straight and figured we’ll go out and scare the guy or whatever,” Cayler said.

“I’ve been chief here almost 25 years, been with the department 28½ years and I’ve seen a lot of things that make me laugh and weird things but this was probably the best combination of the two — strangely weird and hilariously funny all at the same time.” :::: source ::::

wait for it…waaaiiit fooor iiit…..BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! nigga what? Now I’ve seen some dumb ass shit in my day lemme tell you…but two motherfuckers and btween the 2 NOBODY had the brains to be like “ya know somethin Joey ,maybe this isn’t the best idea we’ve had” permanent marker? marker? really dog? c’mon dog! I wish the fuck I would catch 2 white boys breakin in my shit lookin like Nipsy Russel n shit.I swear for God I’m making that blackface …blacknblueface. When you’re this stupid…Jail is probably the safest place for you.

This may just be the worst product tie-in commercial I have ever seen… ever.

I thought it was a joke a first, but now I’m just wondering what poor schmuck got saddled with the task of writing a commercial linking bloodsucking with vitamin water.  An odd pairing, to be sure, but pure comedy for everyone else.  I guess the new True Blood drink has competition.

Why are Canadians putting out all the best creative these days?  DDB Canada has a gem on their hands with this faux-infomercial for the BC Dairy Foundation.

It has the feel of an SNL Digital Short, and the production quality of a DIY comedy skit thrown up on YouTube by the dude down the street.  With all the worry of crowdsourcing these days, it’s interesting that so many  successful new commercials are benefiting from an amateur appeal.  Is this a hint for what’s to come?

I’ve probably made it a wee bit obvious, but my love for liquor ads is neverending.  There’s a new spot out for Jameson’s Irish Whisky (watch it here), and while I can’t say I found it all that exciting, it did remind me of a joke done by one of my favorite comedians of all time, Mr. Tommy Tiernan.

Being Irish himself, I think he truly embodies Jameson’s target audience.  Watch the Jameson’s ad first, and then watch Tommy do it better.

I love this ad.  For once, a pharmaceutical company isn’t patronizing its male audience members with ridiculous commercials and terrible metaphors.  This commercial shoots straight from the hip (ignore the pun), and I wish we could see more like it here in the states.  Bravo.

LITTLE ROCK, Ark. (AP) — Losing his wallet was a would-be robber’s mistake. Trying to get it back was an even bigger blunder.

Police in Little Rock, Ark., report 23-year-old Courvoisier Marteze Riley dropped his wallet during an attempted robbery at a home.

While police were interviewing the victim, authorities say Riley called wanting to get his wallet returned. Officers say Riley told the victim to bring the wallet to a service station.

Of course, that’s where officers found the suspect. Police say Riley tried to run, but was caught after a short chase. < source >

Never mind the sad fact that we know his mothers’ alcoholic beverage of choice AND the fact she was stupid enough to name him after it…hell that’s nothing new …Alize anyone? Somebody needs to do a survey or some shit because he HAS to be the dumbest ass in captivity!

Anybody wanna ride with me to Arkansas to give this dumb sumbitch the beating he deserves? A motherfucker that stupid DOES NOT need to be free, just put his dumb ass in a room with crayons and Bet..and give his simpleminded ass all the “red” Kool-aid he can drink. I wish a motherfucker would rob my house,drop his wallet..and have the GIGANTIC balls to call my fuckin house and ask ME? to bring me his shit? Obama could be having a press conference announcing a permanent middle east peace agreement and they would interrupt ole boy just to tell the world what I did to this dumb as dog shit,turd blossom of a mental midget.

The first thing I would do is thank the Lord baby Jesus for the good fortune of allowing me the opportunity and honor to exact vengeance in his name,on this asshole using the divine instrument of my foot. I would whip that niggas ass till my back hurt..the return that shit for brains having son of a bitch his wallet (minus any money he may have had) AND I would have refused to press charges. That ass whipping would definitely be punishment enough…trust me

Public Health commercials are tricky.  It’s hard to strike the right tone with young audiences that hate being preached to, and hate stupid ads even more.  I think MTV’s “Staying Alive” campaign has some successful spots – take this one, for instance.

It’s the same irreverent humor you’d find in a beer commercial, but obviously dealing with heavier material.  If more campaigns adopted this approach, I think they’d come up against a lot less animosity.

Check out staying-alive.org for more examples.

Remember “Too Sweet”? ….kick ass in prison right? Now..Remember Bernie Madoff? greedy rich white dude convicted of stealing money from other rich white people.. Don’t you dare confuse the two… That being said….I damn near shit myself laughing when I read this story…..

Bernie “The Bruiser” Madoff got into a prison-yard tussle with a fellow inmate over — of all things — the stock market, eyewitnesses told The Post.

And, by inmates’ accounts, the 71-year-old Ponzi schemer came out the winner.

Madoff, serving 150 years at the Butner, NC, federal prison, was heard last week getting into a heated debate over the state of the market with another senior-citizen jailbird.

The shouting match got so heated that the inmate pushed Madoff, who shoved back harder with both hands, causing his attacker to stumble.

As the attacker tried to stand up straight, Madoff hovered over him red-faced and glaring, eyewitnesses said.

.The stunned attacker went chicken and took off — allowing Madoff to collect some “cred” among his fellow prisoners.

“I didn’t think Bernie had it in him. He got the best of him; he was really aggressive, and the other guy was in shock that he fought back,” an inmate said.

The shoving match occurred near a ball field at the lockup in front of about 20 inmates during a rare time when prison guards weren’t watching.

An inmate said the two got lucky because if guards had seen the fight, Madoff and his pushing partner “would have went in the ‘hole,’ ” solitary confinement.

The next day, Madoff and his attacker, described by inmates as a white male over 60 years old, made up and were spotted hanging out together.

Prisoners interviewed by The Post said this was the first known physical altercation at the slammer for Madoff — who paid a consultant for a crash course in prison culture and survival tips before he was locked up. <Looks like it worked….

Seriously…I would have paid like $3 to see that shit!  2 old dudes scraping in the motherfuckin jail yard son?!? That is waaaaay beyond classic…thats like 3 miles from legendary!! You know old dude felt a certain type of way about Madofff any way…and he let his emotions act without the benefit of intellect..he wrote some checks that his bad hip couldn’t cash, he bit off more then he could chew (with his dentures)…ok ..I’ll stop.

A motorist filmed deliberately driving through a puddle and splashing children at a bus stop in Devon faces prosecution for inconsiderate driving.

Police received complaints after the 30-second clip, which includes an excited commentary from the passenger, was posted on YouTube.

The clip was shot inside a car being driven down Weston Mill Hill, Plymouth. It has since been removed from YouTube.

Police said the driver had voluntarily contacted them and may be prosecuted.

The Road Traffic Act contains an offence of “careless, and inconsiderate, driving” and, according to Crown Prosecution Service policy, that could include driving through a puddle to splash bystanders. { SOURCE }

Thats pretty fucked up and my first thought (about the driver) when I read this was…..

But this is how METRO UK reported it….

A wet, wet, wet summer has spawned a new craze – urban wave dodging.

Forming a huddle round a puddle and enticing drivers to spray them by driving through at speed, youngsters have brought the theme park log flume to their local street.

The water sport is at least taking some of the pain from all this rain for the bored youngsters. And the drivers seem to get some enjoyment out of it too.

One motorist in our pictures can clearly be seen laughing as the water drenches four boys on the A68 in Darlington.

Clearly there are 2 sides to this story and depending on how far the stick is up your ass will determine which of these views you support. Don’t get me wrong I completely overstand the dangers of kids standing on the curb waiting for cars to speed by a puddle. However for those of us who have lived in the inner city…with very little to do,you tend to find things to make the day go by. Considering what kids could be doing,waiting to be splashed by a puddle is pretty much ….tame. Hell..when me and my bredren were younger…we used to put whole raw eggs in our snowballs,and wait at the bus stop and unload on the driver when that poor unsuspecting sonuvabitch opened the door. Illegal?..most likely, Fun?…ABSO-fuckin-LUTELY! I mean..we’ve all done some shit when we were younger that wasn’t exactly “safe” and sometimes “responsible” adults took part in our fuckery if for no other reason then to give some adult supervision to our SHITnanigans.(which is probably why I lived to tell about it later) But no grown-ups EVER got arrested.

Between the 4 of theses hoes…I challenge you to find me a neck. Seriously tho…the chick on the left look like the rest of these bitches been snacking on her feet.

A British dwarf who was performing at the ‘Edinburgh Festival’ found his penis glued to a vacuum cleaner (dude..the fuck are you doin fucking a vacuum…for any reason) while preparing for a live show. (now I’ve seen some wild shit…hell,I’ve seen and damn near sat through..a real live Donkey Show. Believe me when I tell you that there ain’t shit on this rock we call Earth that could make me spend good weed money..to watch a midget fuck a vacuum.)Daniel Blackner, known as “Captain Dan the Demon Dwarf” performed at the Circus of Horrors, known for its oddball and offbeat performances. As part of the show, the dwarf pulls a Henry vacuum cleaner using a special attachment, across the show attached to his penis. ( I dunno if I’m more disturbed by the fact that he’s pulling around a vacuum by his pecker OR the fact that the vacuum is named “Henry”)However, the vacuum cleaner was broken before a performance and performer Blackner placed extra-strong glue on the attachment to fix it, neglecting to wait the entire 20 minutes required for the glue to dry, ( freaky and impatient…clearly not the best of combinations) which resulted in his penis becoming glued to the vacuum cleaner. *ouch!

After being rushed to the A&E department of Edinburgh Royal Infirmary, Blackner was freed after an hour ( I’m certain 45 minutes of that hour was dedicated to laughing their motherfuckin ass off!) and remarked that: “It was the most embarrassing moment of my life when I got wheeled into a packed A&E with a vacuum attached to me. I just wished the ground could swallow me up.(careful what you wish for lil homey,I mean you ARE a freakin dwarf..how hard could that be?) Luckily, they saw me quickly so the embarrassment was short lived.” *Giggles*…He said “short” lived. Classic. < FULL ARTICLE >

What an odd little commercial this is.  It’s almost funny, as you get your nose right up to the computer screen to make absolutely sure it’s either a stuffed panda or CGI.

Either way, I figure the WWF has had enough media backlash from the 9/11 fiasco, the poor panda doesn’t need any more problems.

If the smell of dicks and egg fu yung could come to life…this is what it would look like.

Anyone who knows me KNOWS I fuckin looove midgets and dwarfs and lil muhfuggas of every sort. They are indeed gods little punchline…funsized like them lil snickers. Or as my 9 yr old son calls em..”little boy men”.

I sometimes feel sorry for the lil buggers and maybe even a bit guilty…but then they go and do some ole bullshit like this..

Chinese Dwarfs Start Their Own Village

(MYFOX NATIONAL) – A community of dwarfs in China is tired of being discriminated against and is doing something about it.

The Telegraph reports that the people of Kunming, a mountain community in southern China, have set up their own village to escape discrimination from normal sized people.

All of the 120 residents are under 4-feet, 3-inches tall, and they run their own police force and fire department. The group also has turned itself into a tourist attraction by building mushroom houses and living and dressing like fairy tale characters.

“As small people we are used to being pushed around and exploited by big people. But here there aren’t any big people and everything we do is for us,” said spokesman Fu Tien. FULL STORY

I change my mind..thats some creepy shit..like part of me wants to be happy for the  pint sized little shits..but then the other half of me wants to run through their little mushroom village like Gargamel ,from the Smurfs It’s like Lilliputia in Dreamland all over again. I don’t know about you…but these lil strong looking sons of bitches scare the living shit outta me.. Check out that lil menacing looking motherfucker with the afro…ANY chinamen with an afro CAN”T BE TRUSTED!! you  knooow he has a knife tucked somewhere probably that afro. Not sure whats going on with that walking conradiction in the back..a fat Chinese midget.FTW. He’s going for the gold,And poor lil shit stacked homey in the back looking sad as shit..like he’s tired of walking around all day being eye level  with assholes and ball sacks.I’m just gonna call dude in the front “photoshopped yo” cuz ain’t know way in hell that big ass head belongs to him.

Today I feel nostalgic and in love with all things ridiculous.

Adage just ran a story today (Read Here) about this ingenious little slavic Meerkat and his British car insurance.  Sure, we’ve got the Gecko from Geico, and he may or may not have come before Alexandr Orlov, but Alexandr has something our little Australian reptile does not.

Fur.  He’s fuzzy.  Apparently people love fuzzy.  Also, he wears a cravat, and his trademark line, “Simples!” is making its way into British pop culture in a way that Geico probably never will here in the States.

So is Alexandr just another in a long like of Geckos and Aflac ducks?  I’m waiting to see if he jumps the Atlantic and makes it onto American airways.  I wouldn’t mind seeing fewer Geico commercials, that’s for sure.

A part of me wishes I had interned.

This is one of those ads where I wonder, “Why hasn’t somebody come up with that idea already?”  Then I realize that someone probably has, but it’s just funny every time you see it.

Absolutely fantastic.