SOUNDTRACK: RHEOSTATICS-Melville (1991).

This fantastic Rheostatics album was one of the last ones I bought for some reason.  It came after their debut, Greatest Hits, and is quite a departure for that more simplistic disc.

It opens with the two minute “Record Body Count,” which sets the tone for the disc.  It’s quirky, with different pacings and loud/soft parts, and is quite affecting.  In fact, the entire rest of the disc is quirky and off beat, as befits a disc with a big whale on the cover.

Three great tracks on this disc are “Saskatchewan,” “Horses” and “Aliens (Christmas 1988).”  And the CD comes with a bonus track of their cover of “The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald” which is rocking and swaying as a good nautical track should.

The CD ends with “You Are Very Star” a track that ended their live shows.  On the disc, the track is a series of hockey announcements with quiet whistles as the song fades away,

Rheostatics are definitely an unusual band.  Martin Tielli’s voice goes into high registers at unexpected times, he also sing-speaks (and you can hear the Canadian accent) at times.  Tim Vesely and Dave Bidini also have vocal duties, and their more mellow style adds for a nice contrast.  But basically, what you get is unpredictable rock.  And really, there’s nothing better than that.  Especially when, once you get comfortable with the songs, you realize just how catchy they are.

Melville, it’s in Saskatchewan, and it rocks.

[READ: December 21, 2009] Salt Water Taffy: The Legend of Old Salty

This is a delightful all ages comic set on the coast of Maine.  As the story opens we see brothers Jack and Benny (I did wonder if there is some connection to Jack Benny, but I’d have to say no) driving to their summer house in Maine.  Benny is younger and having fun playing the license plate game while Jack is absorbed in his gameboy.

When they arrive, the kids run around the house investigating this and that (I loved the drawings of the kids stomping around), only to discover that there’s no TV!  Their dad is a writer and wants solitude, so they are shut off from all fun!  That is, until they meet Angus, an old sea dog who tells them the Legend of Old Salty, a gigantic lobster with whom Angus himself has had a very nasty encounter.

The rest of the story concerns Benny & Jack helping Angus track down Old Salty (and, of course, salt water taffy).  There is some absurd humor (wait till you see the seagulls) and anthropomorphic lobsters.  The art is fun: thick lines, very cartoony and exaggerated accentuating its frenetic pace. The story is appropriate for kids of all ages, and is very entertaining.

There are at least two more Salt Water Taffy stories currently in print.  And I’m looking forward to them both.

SOUNDTRACK: DARK WAS THE NIGHT: This Disc (2009).

This compilation was released to benefit the Red Hot organization, who raises money to fight AIDS.  I’ve gotten about a half dozen or so of their compilations over the years (and was surprised to see that they have released about 2o of them!).

This collection is a two disc set of contemporary cutting edge indie rock bands.  And, when it came out it was definitely billed as a who’s who of cool.  The first disc is more or less an acoustic/folky collection of songs.  While that’s not entirely true, the discs are more or less broken down that way.  The artists include David Byrne & The Dirty Projectors, Jose Gonzales, Feist (on two tracks), Bon Iver, The National (a band I don’t know but whose song I love) and Iron & Wine.

Probably the coolest song of the disc (although not my favorite) is Kronos Quartet’s take on Blind Willie Johnson’s “Dark was the Night.”  For years, Kronos has been interpreting rock and other genre songs to fit into their string quartet style.  And this song sounds amazing.  I’ve no idea what they’re doing, but they turn their standard quartet instruments: violin, cello, etc into really cool blues sounding strings (even a slide guitar at one point).  It’s really amazing.  As I said it’s not my favorite track, but it sounds great.

The Decembersists contribute a 7 minute song (that I believe is new as I don’t recognize it).  It’s very good, but it seems like the kind of song that normally would have had a lot of effects/orchestration on it.  And this is an acoustic rendition, so it sounds more sparse than I would think.  It’s still very good though.

Finally, the disc ends with the weirdest track, an 11 minute freak out by Sufjan Stevens.  Every time you think it’s going to end, it morphs into a new instrument which continues the track.  It works well as a soundscape, although it’s a bit tedious in comparison to the rest of the disc which is largely concise acoustic gems.

Disc one is a great collection of tracks, and the overall style works well together.  It’s a very worthy collection of songs and it’s for a good cause.

[READ: December 18, 2009] Love as a Foreign Language 1

This graphic novel is the kind of great romance story that I’ve come to expect from Oni.  It is clever, it is funny, it plays games with pop culture and, of course, the writing and art are fantastic.

Joel is a Canadian living in Korea teaching English to native Koreans.  The book opens with the 4 H’s of culture shock: The honeymoon (you love the place), the horror (you hate the place), the humor (you accept the place and its flaws) and the home (you see yourself living there).  Joel is clearly in the horror stage.  He hates everything about Korea, especially the food. Joel has a few months left on his contract but he wants to get out of it and just go home.

He is sick of eating take out, he is sick of eating the red (spicy) things in every meal, and he is sick of standing out (he is blond and about 6 foot tall, easy half a head taller than most of the Koreans).  He also speaks virtually no Korean, so he imagines that everyone is talking about him (a glossary in the end of the book explains what everyone is really saying around him).

But if he leaves early, he loses a lot of money as well as airfare home.  To complicate matters, the owners have asked him to stay on for another year because they are so busy.

There are a few other teachers at the school as well, of course. There’s a loud Korean-American (this is his first time to Korea) who just wants to go out and party, there is a very helpful British woman (still in the honeymoon phase) and of course, there are the owners of the school: Mrs Park, Miss Park and Mrs Park (no relation).

He has finally made up his mind to leave early, when a new secretary is hired.  She is a beautiful woman named Hana.  Joel met Hana once before and he has been awkward and tongue-tied every time they are together.  He knows (or is told) that he has pretty much no chance with her (no Korean family would let their daughter go with a Westerner), but he is smitten nonetheless.

And, it seems, she is quite fond of him, as well.  What’s a young Canadian to do?  Wait for Volume Two, evidently, because Volume One ends on a great cliffhanger.

The story line in this book is fantastic.  Joel is likable, despite his grousing, and the other characters round out his experience well.  But it’s the art that really sells the book. The lines are thin and very detailed, the drawings and backgrounds are gorgeous.  The expressions are breathtaking.  Most of our encounters with Hana show just how shy she is, and they are stunning.  And Joel himself is given amazing breadth of emotions.  Even the cockroach that lives in Joel’s apartment is rendered wonderfully (I especially enjoy that the cockroach is given a “love heart” even when Joel tries to flush it down the toilet).

There’s also the wonderful introduction of Let’s Go the “learning English” TV show for kids.  It is wonderfully surreal (and made even more surreal when Joel dreams about the show) as the children chant a phrase of the day, like “big eyes!” (from red riding hood).  Many of the background characters speak Korean, with Korean characters.  So you get an idea at least of what the language looks like, even if you have no idea what they are saying (there is a translation guide in the back).

I’m really excited to finish the story, all the plot points are in place to make this a very satisfying conclusion.

*****

*****

I don’t think you all fully appreciated the awesomeness of this freestyle canoe routine the first time I posted it. 

I’m posting it again.

SOUNDTRACK: BLACK SABBATH-Sabotage (1975).

Sabotage seems to be somewhat forgotten (maybe because of the creepy cover art 0f Ozzy in a kimono and fascinating platform shoes, Bill Ward in red tights with a codpiece (and visible underwear on the back cover), and Geezer and Tony’s mustaches).
But this album rocks pretty hard and heavy.
“Hole in the Sky” is a sort of spastic rocker with Ozzy screaming vocals over the top of the rocking track.
“Don’t Start (Too Late)” is the by now obligatory acoustic guitar piece.  But this one is different, for it has some really wild and unpredictable aspects to it.

“Symptom of the Universe” is another classic Sabbath track, a blistering heavy fast riff with the wonderful Ozzy-screamed: “Yeaaaaaahs!”  It then surprises you by going into an extended acoustic guitar workout for a minute and a half at the end.

“Megalomania” is a slow ponderous piece. Unlike the psychedelic tracks from the previous records, this one moves along with a solid back beat. It also has a great bridge (“Why doesn’t everybody leave me alone?”). They definitely had fun with the effects (echoing vocals, etc.) on this one.  And, like their prog rock forebears, this song segues into another rhythm altogether when we get the wonderfully fast rock segment.  And the humorous point where the music pauses and Ozzy shouts “Suck me!”

“Thrill of it All” is a pretty good rocker, which after a  pretty simple opening morphs into a slow, surprisingly keyboard-fueled insanely catchy coda.  “Supertzar” is a wonderfully creepy instrumental.  It runs 3 minutes and is all minor-keys and creepy Exorcist-like choirs.  When the song breaks and the bizzaro Iommi riff is joined by the choir, you can’t help but wonder why no horror film has used this as its intro music.

“Am I Going Insane (Radio)” is a very catchy keyboardy track.  It clearly has crossover potential (although the lyrics are wonderfully bizarre).  But it ends with totally creepy laughing and then wailing.    “The Writ” ends the album. It’s another solid rocker and it ends with an acoustic coda with Ozzy’s plaintive vocals riding over the top.

Sabotage has some truly excellent moments.  It’s just hard to fathom the amount of prog-rock tendencies they’ve been throwing onto their last few discs (we’ll say Rick Wakeman had something to do with it).

Black Sabbath made two more albums before Ozzy left.  I haven’t listened to either one of them in probably fifteen years.  And my recollection of them is that they’re both pretty lousy.  Maybe one of these days I’ll see if they prove me wrong.

[READ: December 16, 2009] McSweeney’s #7

This was the first McSweeney’s edition that I didn’t buy new.  My subscription ran out after Issue #6 and I never saw #7  in the stores.  So, I recently had to resort to a used copy.

This issue came packaged with a cardboard cover, wrapped with a large elastic band.

Inside you get several small volumes each with its own story (this style hearkens back to McSweeney’s #4, but the presentation is quite different).  7 of the 9 booklets feature an artistic cover that relates to the story but is done by another artist (not sure if they were done FOR the story or not).  I have scanned all of the covers.  You can click on each one to see a larger picture.

The booklets range from 16 to 100 pages, but most are around 30 pages.  They are almost all fiction, except for the excerpt from William T. Vollman’s 3,500 page Rising Up and Rising Down and the essays that accompany the Allan Seager short story.

KEVIN BROCKMEIER-”The Ceiling” [cover by Eric White]
The basic plot of this story is quite simple: a large black square appears in the sky one day.  Slowly it sinks towards the earth, growing larger and larger.  Despite the somewhat Stephen King-like nature of the premise, the story is really all about how people live their lives: specifically, how one man’s family acts during this crisis.  I enjoyed the story quite a bit.

However, I was confused by the beginning.  The opening scene is at the son’s  birthday party.  There’s a lot of detail given, but it doesn’t seem to have much to do with the rest of the story.  It begins with the son telling a fictional tale about himself in a hot air balloon with the father noting, on a separate line: “This is a story.”

It seemed like this was all a set up for something special.  And I’m just not sure how that ties together with the rest of the story.  But I’m not too worried about it as I enjoyed the piece as a whole.

ANN CUMMINS-”Red Ant House” [cover by Tim Bower]
I really enjoyed Cummins’ story in McSweeney’s #6, so I was excited to read this one.  The red ant house is a house down the block that is infested with red ants.  A new family moves into the house and the daughter of that family immediately latches on to the narrator of the story, Leigh.  Leigh is one of 6 kids whose mother is pregnant again.

The new girl, Theresa Mooney, lives with a man who is not her father and a woman who is her mother.  The man seems to have families all over the place.  None of this is good news for Theresa Mooney, especially when Leigh and her siblings decide to point it out to her.  Despite her best intentions however, Leigh and Theresa become friendly, and their bonding is complete when they dare each other to do something risky.

This story didn’t blow me away as much as the previous one, but there was something oddly affecting about it.

A.M. HOMES-”Do Not Disturb” [cover by Melinda Beck]
This is a very prickly story.  It can easily be summed up by the exchange: “You knew I was a bitch before you married me, say something original.”  In the story, a man and his wife are quite obviously falling apart (as individuals and as a couple).  Before the evening’s events, the couple had yet another huge fight.  And he thinks, yet again, of leaving her.  But that night, during dinner, she becomes gravely ill.

Since she is a doctor, she is reluctant to go to the ER, but after several hours of agony, she relents.  She is diagnosed with cancer.  But this diagnosis, rather than softening her, as everyone suspects, just makes her more prickly, more demanding, even less compassionate.  But he can’t leave a cancer-riddled wife can he?  Even if she pushes him out?  This was a very dark story, but it was very powerful.  And, as with all of A.M. Homes work that I’ve read, it was very good.

MICHAEL CHABON-”The Return of the Amazing Cavalieri” [front & back covers by Chris Ware]
I loved The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier & Clay when I read it a few years ago.  I was delighted to discover that this story (the cover art suggests it is an “Un-Told Tale of Kavalier and Clay”) was included here.  Sadly for me, I don’t remember too many details of the novel (it was like ten years ago, right?).  Happily for me, they are not relevant to this story.

This piece concerns Cavalieri himself.  He is walking to school with his nephew and the fear and dread he had during grammar school is rushing back at him.  Cavalieri’s nephew has promised his class that The Amazing Kavalier will perform some magic tricks (maybe even escape from a safe!) for Sharing Time.  Cavalieri susses up the class and decides that they are at the perfect age to be simply skeptical.  He grows more nervous as Sharing Time approaches.

He proceeds to perform his simple tricks, but when he suspects that the kids are not all that impressed, he attempts one grand feat.  I enjoyed this story immensely and it makes me want to re-read Kavalier and Clay (or at the very least Maps & Legends, which is sitting on my bedside right now).

The cover art by Chris Ware is, of course, fantastic.  The front cover is designed to look just like a comic book.  And the back cover is even more fun (in a sick and twisted way) as an ad for how much your life will suck if you have a baby.

HEIDI JULAVITS-”Little Little Big Man” [cover by Elizabeth Kairys]
This is, frankly, a bizarre story.  It involves a tiny man named Big who works for a rodeo.  And beyond that the story is full of what I can’t decide is fantasy, magical realism or just hallucinations.

Big becomes involved with a large woman who carries him over her shoulder (his face getting caught in her skirt ruffles as it bumps against her behind).  This part was very funny.

They become serious and settle down.  He grows unhappy and winds up spending a lot of his time climbing into her uterus to read the graffiti that her six children have written in there.

[Pause for people to digest that sentence].

So I’m not sure what to make of details like that.  There are questions of impotence, unfaithfulness and pseudo-bestiality.  And while I understand what happened plot-wise, arriving there was a very bizarre path.

J.T. LEROY-”Harold’s End” [cover by Sharon Leong]
Of course, now we know that J.T. Leroy is a fraud or a pseudonym depending on your opinion of the author’s stunt.  It makes it hard to read this for the first time without having the author’s reality impinging on the story.  I’m not sure if I would have been quite as cynical about the story if I didn’t know what I know about Leroy.  But I an inclined to think that I would have been at least suspicious of the details of the story anyhow.

The basic premise here is that a man approaches a group of kids on the street.  They are suspicious of him (is he a cop, a social worker, a john?), but when they see he is handing out free needles, they relent.  He singles out one boy and invites him back to his house, where they shoot heroin and hang out for an extended period of time.  A single event (that I will get to in a moment) happens which causes friction between them and the boy is asked to leave.

I was immediately suspicious of the story because the kids seem completely unreal.  I’m not even sure how old they are supposed to be.  They hang out on the curb but it’s unclear if they are trying to score drugs, if they are trying to score dates or what.  The only thing we know is that they all have pets (a rat, a pit bull and a boa constrictor)  hanging out with them.  And, the kids tell the man that all of their pets have pedigrees (in far more exacting detail than one might expect a kid to know).  The title of the story comes because the boy who the man brings home did not have a pet.  Along with the heroin, the man gives the boy a snail named Harold as a pet that he can take care of himself.

So, despite the fact that the man is in the role of chickenhawk for this young boy, nothing sexual ever happens between them, except for the event that causes the friction (which is wholly unexpected and really rather disgusting).  But it’s not even entirely apparent afterward why the man is upset (because it didn’t work? was he just embarrassed?).  The whole scene from start to finish seemed unbelievable.  Finally, as the story ends, we see the boy is too squeamish to clean out the snail’s poop, yet moments later he willingly dives into a dumpster (not to mention the disgusting scene above).  It just doesn’t add up.

The whole story rang false to me.  Maybe it was meant to be over the top; maybe it was meant to be surreally funny.  Maybe it was a hyperreal or fantasy look at kids on the street.  But I don’t think so.  It was just creepy.

COURTNEY ELDRIDGE-”The Former World Record Holder Settles Down” [cover by Katherine Streeter]
This is one of the longest stories that McSweeney’s has published.  It’s 75 pages.  And, what is so great about it is that it never feels like a long story.  And what’s even better is that the story goes through many twists and turns to end up in a sad but interesting place.

I loved the fact that the story begins by talking about the narrators’ husband.  And he is a bowling dork.  He loves bowling, he bowls all the time, and he has even gotten the narrator–a hipster New York woman who only thought of bowling ironically–to enjoy bowling.  As well as other sports, too.  He gets her to watch and enjoy baseball (and she develops a mad crush on Don Zimmer (!)).

But back to bowling.  Her husband, Joel, gets very mad at himself if he doesn’t bowl well.  And his mood stays dark for quite some time.

But.  He’s not the titular record holder.  The world record of the title comes as a complete shock (and I won’t reveal it).  But once we learn of the record, everything in the story changes (except they still love bowling).

As the story progresses, we learn more and more about the narrator and how much her father’s disappearance had affected her.  And how much she hates to talk about her past.  And how much she loves her husband for not pushing things about her past.  Until he does.  And then things comes to a head.

There’s so much going on in this story, and it all starts so simply as a bowling tale.   It was a great, great story.

WILLIAM T. VOLLMAN-”The Old Man:  A Case Study from Rising Up and Rising Down“
This is a 100-page excerpt from Vollman’s 3,500 page study of violence called Rising Up and Rising Down (which I will never read).  This excerpt is a case study, written in 1995 and concerns Muslim terrorists in Thailand.

The excerpt reads like a real-life version of Apocalypse Now.  Vollman is in Thailand trying to get an interview with The Old Man, the reputed head of PULO, the Pattani Unification Liberation Organization.  Vollman interviews (with his faithful translator D.) citizens of Thailand and Malaysia as well as political figures and former members of PULO.

The main problem I have with the excerpt is that the context is left out.  We never learn who D. is or how he met her.  And, we have no context for WHY he wants to do this.  He spends days and days negotiating with bureaucrats, thugs and taxi drivers only to ultimately end up right where he started from.  Is it all in aid of this book?  I’m not entirely sure.  I’m sure that the full text covers this, so it’s not really a compliant.  I just wish I had a little context  for this daunting piece.

As for the piece itself although it is a look at only one instance of violence, it is still fascinating to hear people involved in this organization (the quotes are direct in broken English, lending credence to the authenticity).  And it is fascinating to see the kind of security that this man, the head of a terrorist organization, has and yet doesn’t have (and the difficult in actually finding the man).  And to hear how much is hidden in plain sight about members of the organization is rather surprising.

No answers are forthcoming about the why’s of terrorism (maybe they are answered in the big book).  But Vollman is a dogged investigator and an excellent writer.  And although I don’t want to say I enjoyed the excerpt, I’m glad I read it.  (But I’m still not going to read the 3,500 page version).

ALLAN SEAGER-”This Town and Salamanca”
Seager is a once-revered writer whose work has largely gone out of print.  This booklet contains this short story as well as some commentary from others.  The three nonfiction essays attached add a lot of backstory, and certainly allow the reader to learn a lot more about his work and about Seager himself.

I didn’t think I would enjoy the story all that much.  They way it opened, I feared it was going to be a travelogue.  But as it progressed I found it really enjoyable and surprisingly deep.  The premise is that in his youth, John was a world traveler.  He built a boat and sailed to Cuba.  He joined the army to learn how to fly, and then he left the army and then he rejoined the army once again.  He learned to fence in Italy and France.  And then he returned from Salamanca to settle down in “this town.”

The story is really about the other residents of the town and how they more or less hung their hopes and dreams on his journeys, since none of them would ever leave the town.  They relish his stories when he returns and ask for as many details as they can get.  And his details are juicy and quite delightful.

But when he settles down in his home town, everyone is a little disappointed that their wanderer has stopped wandering.  It is a simple no-frills story, and was quite effective.

JOHN WARNER-”Allan Seager: An Introduction”
Warner provides a brief sketch of Seager’s life: his rise to fame as a short story writer (and the numerous places that have published his work: Esquire, The New Yorker, Playboy) and his eventual loss of recognition.  He also fills in details about his personal life (and health).

JOAN FRY-”Colorless in Limestone Caverns: a remembrance”
As a student, Fry set out to seduce Seager.  She was ultimately successful.  But their relationship proved to be a terrible hindrance to her creative writing (although she wound up being the impetus for one of Seager’s own stories).  She spent much of their time together trying to get away.  I actually found this true story to be slightly more compelling than Seager’s short story itself.

STEVEN CONNELLY-”Man is Born For Sorrow as the Sparks Fly Upwards: a remembrance”
Connelly was a student of Seager’s.  His essay here describes how autobiographical “This Town and Salamanca” is.  Seager also traveled the world and then settled down in his home town to write.  It also describes him as a wonderful teacher, who knew as much about James Joyce as anyone.  Seager was inspirational for Connelly as well as many other students.

~~

McSweeney’s #7 is another great collection of stories.  It was absolutely worth tracking it down.

I normally wouldn’t reblog any entire webpage, but this needs to be read from start to end to appreciate the value of the site I’m linking to > This and more essays/interviews from Losingmyreligion.com

Heaven and Hell: Interview One
by Darcy West

Roger: God let’s us choose. He doesn’t send anyone to hell.

Darcy West: Roger, an abusive father gives his child a choice: constantly praise and adore him or be beaten. But what kind of choice is it?

Roger: Darcy, a loving father lets him choose.

Darcy West: Roger, what would you think of a father who said to his child, “Love me by the time you are six, or I will bake you in the oven.” In this case, the parent gives the child a choice, but what kind of choice is it?

Roger: Darcy, God doesn’t say that..he says, “Here’s the way out of hell, PLEASE TAKE IT.”

Darcy West: Are you suggesting that hell exists outside of God’s control?

Roger: What do you think?

Darcy West: If hell is not a danger that exists outside of God’s control, then the analogy you used does not work. In your analogy, you portray God as trying to protect his child against a danger over which he has no control. Yet, in the case of the biblegod, hell is a danger which he created. It would be as if a parent said, “Don’t go into the street or you will be hit by a car.” Then, when the child goes into the street, the parent jumps in a bus and runs the child over.: If the parent then says, “Well, he made his choice,” would you believe that the parent did the right thing?

Roger: Darcy, hell was created for Satan and his demons, not for humans.

Darcy West: Roger, the abusive parent bought the oven to bake cookies. However, if he uses it to bake his children, does that remove his guilt?

Roger: It is not God who wants people in hell. It is Satan. Because of choice, Satan can drag some with him.

Darcy West: Roger, so now you are going to blame Satan for God’s dirty work? Satan is actually so powerful that he is going to be victorious in “winning souls” to hell? By the way, you never did tell me what you think of a parent who says to his child, “Love me by the time you are six, or I will bake you in the oven.”

Roger: Darcy, that would be very wrong, but you know what would be worse?

Darcy West: I really can’t imagine too many things worse than a parent baking his own child in an oven, can you?

Roger: This would be worse..”Hey, you have to bake in the oven and there’s no way for you to choose a way out.” God holds the way out for us and it’s free.

Darcy West: Roger, okay. So it’s okay to bake your child in the oven as long as you give him a way to get out. Why would any parent decide that his child must be baked in an oven in the first place?

Roger: He decided that they shouldn’t. Jesus made redemption possible.

Darcy West: Roger, so it wasn’t God’s idea to bake those who failed to return his love in his hell? Whose idea was it?

Roger: No, Darcy. It was God’s idea, but it was also God’s idea to give people a way out.

Darcy West: Roger, but if you think it is wrong to threaten to bake your child in an oven, why do you worship a God who does such a thing? Do you believe love can be bought with threats of harm?

Roger: Darcy, I don’t love God because I fear hell. I love God because he loved me first.

Darcy West: Roger, you believe that if you fail to love your God, you will go to hell. I don’t see how you can possibly claim that it does not factor into your thinking.

Roger: Darcy, hell doesn’t await me.

Darcy West: Roger, exactly. You feel confident that you will not go to hell because you have made the right choice. You have chosen to love God so you can have heaven. How do you know which you really love though…. God or the promise of heaven?

Roger: Darcy, I have more than the promise of heaven. I have God!

Darcy West: Roger, if you love God because you want something from him (heaven), how are you any different than a prostitute?

Roger: Darcy, I am no different from a prostitute. I’m not worthy of God yet he accepts me.

Darcy West: Roger, do you think men who hire prostitutes believe that these prostitutes actually love them? In other words, would these men actually be flattered by these women’s proclamations of “love”, knowing that such proclamations would not be made without the promise of cold, hard cash? And if your answer is no, do you think a God would be any more easily fooled, or flattered by, such proclamations?

Roger: Darcy, how can I help you understand, there’s more than that. If I convert at least one atheist..I get the nifty toaster oven.

Darcy West: Funny. You say that as a joke, but I think there is more truth to your words than perhaps you would like to admit. Roger, can you really look forward to a “heaven” where, behind the curtain, the one who has programmed you to worship him forever is eternally tormenting those who fail to have what he alone can give them?

Roger: Darcy, my biggest fear is that a time will come when you will look me in the eye and ask me why I didn’t try harder to help you understand.

Darcy West: Roger, you didn’t answer my question. The question was: Do you REALLY believe you could enjoy yourself in the type of “heaven” I just described?

Roger: Darcy, it hurts to think of that.

Darcy West: Try to force yourself to think of it for just one minute, painful as it is. Do you think you could enjoy yourself in such a “heaven”?

Roger: Darcy, why do you think that people like me want to share? Call us delusional if you want, but what kind of person would understand hell and not warn otherwise?

Darcy West: Roger, the question, I repeat, is this. Do you think you could enjoy yourself in the type of heaven I described?

Roger: Darcy, I have said it hurts to think of it, what more do you want? If it hurts here, it may very well hurt in heaven.

Darcy West: What I want, Roger, is simply to know if you think you could be happy in the type of heaven I just described.

Roger: Come to think of it..there is a verse that says, we won’t experience any sorrow in heaven.

Darcy West: Interesting. So perhaps you will have no knowledge of what your evil god does behind the curtain?

Roger: You think of him as evil. I don’t. You want to buck a God that has that much power?

Darcy West: You don’t think it is evil to eternally torment people who do not have what you alone can give them? Roger, you suggest worshipping that which is evil simply because the thing will harm you if you don’t?

Roger: Darcy, is it smart to refuse heaven just because you don’t like the rules?

Darcy West: Roger, if you thought eternal punishment was wrong, how could you worship a being who would do such a thing?

Roger: Darcy, I don’t get to decide.

Darcy West: You don’t get to decide whether or not your God is good and worthy of worship? Then how can you know if you love him? One final question, if you would be so kind.

Roger: Darcy, sure.

Darcy West: Who do you feel is more worthy of respect….a man who worships Hitler to avoid being sent to the ovens, or the man who refuses to bow to Hitler, regardless of the price.

Roger: Darcy, the man who refuses.

Darcy West: Roger, thank you very much.

Don’t make me call ‘em!

I will if I have to…

(I love this pic.  It cracks me up.)

Described as a ‘pro-feminist visual critique of Edward Cullen’, this vid is a mashup of scenes from the TV series Buffy and the movie Twilight (with a little Harry Potter thrown in) which shows what the complete opposite reaction to Edward’s stalkerish behaviour as exhibited by Bella Swan in the original books, when she is replaced by Buffy (the Vampire Slayer). Really well put together, and quite a few laughs to be had. Puts the point across nicely, although I did feel a little bad for Edward (in the beginning). Thanks to Sean The Blogonaut for the link!

Confession: I saw New Moon a couple of weeks ago. Now most of you know this would be unlikely, and watching it in opening week nogal! But a friend had a spare ticket, wanted company, and reading a spectacularly cutting review encouraged my morbid fascination to see just how bad this movie could really be.

First thing, New Moon is a better movie than Twilight was. It was better visually (despite shoddily distributed CGI effects), and faster-paced (no dazzling meadow scenes). Not much more can be said for the storyline – Stephanie Meyer’s Twilight ‘Saga’ is hardly fine literature, but of all 4 books, it’s my opinion that New Moon was probably the most interesting to read (not that that’s saying much). To expect different from the screen translation would require a completely different movie, but it was nonetheless much better to watch than read.

In New Moon, Bella loses her mind when the Cullens, precious Edward included, suddenly leave Forks. The reason for leaving, as Edward poses it, is for Bella’s own safety, following a near attack from ‘brother’ Jasper after Bella suffers a bleeding paper cut at her birthday party (“I couldn’t help it bro, that girl’s just too damn tasty-smellin’!”). In other words, one can’t help feeling the reaction is entirely disproportionate to the event. But away Edward goes, unwittingly leaving Bella open to planned vengeance from the vampire Victoria , whose own beau Edward savaged to death in Twilight.

Meanwhile, Bella gets awful cosy with Jakob, who in between mooning over Bella and doing various manual tasks, has a secret issue of his own. And so the wolf fell in love with the lamb. Or something like that. No matter, as long as Taylor Lautner keeps taking his shirt off, right? Right.

17 year olds don’t normally look like that, right? My interest is purely scientific, of course.

Still, Bella pines, and the discovery that putting herself in dangerous situations causes her to hallucinate the presence and voice of her beloved Edward, Bella proceeds with increasingly dangerous behaviour. A misunderstanding arising from one of Alice’s visions of one such escapade leads the Byronic Edward to believe his Bella is dead. Filled with constipated angst, Edward decides to travel to Italy where he will visit the vampire council, the Volturi, and request to be killed. Bella gets wind of the plan and runs to the rescue. (Damn.)

What was made stunningly apparent by the movie in a way that isn’t immediately noticeable in the book (especially if you’re a swooning 13/31 year old) was the negative anti-feminism themes of Meyer’s story. Main character, Bella Swan (really, that name is ridiculous) adds supernatural glamour to the age old tale of women whose lives derive meaning almost solely from the man they are romantically involved with.

Bella’s insistent cry of  ‘you’re my reason for living’ has less of a sweetly sacrificial sentiment than it does of someone who really would fade away without the presence of a man – any man – in her life. This is most clear by the way her gravitation from Edward to Jakob in directly connected to her transformation from empty and depressed after Edward’s departure, to significantly happier and busier in her friendship with Jakob. Still, it’s only a romantic encounter with Jakob that prompts the email to Alice “Things are getting better.”

Anyway, layer on the sexual tension, unrequited love, teenage angst and love triangles with a smattering of supernatural action and it’s at least entertaining. And this, they tell me, is the point of movies, so I guess New Moon does that at least. Just don’t expect substance, provocative thought or coherent behaviour.

SOUNDTRACK: BLACK SABBATH-Vol. 4 (1972).

When I was younger I liked this Sabbath album a lot more than I do now.  There are some absolutely stellar tracks on here, but most of the songs are a rather peculiar for Black Sabbath.  It showcases ballad-y nature that Ozzy would have for some of his biggest hits twenty years later.

“Wheels of Confusion” opens the disc with a fascinating bluesy sounding guitar solo that turns into a straightforward rocker.  But, as it’s 8 minutes long, there’s a lot of twists and turns.  And it ends with a two and a half minutes of upbeat guitar soloing (with a tambourine keeping the beat!).

“Tomorrow’s Dream” opens with a rocking bendy guitar riff  but in the middle the chorus turns the song into a delicate ballad.  This is followed by “Changes” a full-on piano ballad (!).  It’s catchy, no doubt, and I loved it when I was younger, but I’m not entirely sure it passes the test of time.  This is followed by “FX” which is literally almost two minutes of echoing blips and bleeps, some of which go back and forth on the headphones.  It’s a very strange addition to any disc and is really the perfect example of “filler” unless by some chance this was majorly cutting edge at the time.

This is redeemed by “Supernaut” one of the all-time great Sabbath tunes.  It’s heavy, fast and features a great guitar riff.

“Snowblind” is a another fantastic song.  A great riff, and of course, it’s totally pro-cocaine!  How can you tell?  Well, because at the end of the first verse, you can hear a very unsubtle whisper of “cocaine.”  My, how the band has changed in just a couple of years.  This song also features a ballady mid-section.  It also features an awesome middle bit that rocks very hard (and can be summed as: don’t tell me what to do).  The drugs hadn’t deteriorated Sabbath’s songwriting yet, but give it a couple more records!

“Cornucopia” is one of the weird songs that you find on the second side of a Sabbath album.  It’s a got an awesome slow, doomy opening riff which then turns into a speedy rocker.

When I was kid I really liked “Laguna Sunrise” and I still do.  It’s a pretty acoustic guitar number (with keyboards or strings or something).  After “Changes” you’re not surprised by anything that Sabbath will throw at you, but this song is really shockingly delicate.

“St. Vitus Dance” is probably the most schizophrenic Sabbath song.  The opening guitar riff is so incredibly upbeat, happy and boppy; who knows what will come from it.  And then the verses turn dark and edgy with lyrics about a breakup.  And then the happy guitar bits come back!

The disc ends with “Under the Sun/Everyday Comes and Goes.”  It is once again another wonderfully sludgy guitar riff that turns into a fast rocker (“I don’t want no Jesus freak to tell me what it’s all about!”).  After the verses, you get this wonderfully weird guitar solo that’s like an ascending scale on acid.  Fun!  About three minutes in, it turns into “Everyday…” an uptempo rocker that’s not out of place with the other half of the song, but which does seem like an odd placement.

This disc was strangely experimental for Sabbath.  And, while it’s nice to see them not getting stuck, some of their choices were certainly weird.  And yet all Sabbath fans seem to regard this disc pretty highly (I think it’s the iconic cover that we all remember so fondly).

[READ: December 10, 2009] Unseen Academicals

Terry Pratchett knows football (soccer)??!!  In all the years of Discworld books, I don’ think there has been any mention of football (or even any sport).  Who knew he had a 400 page book about football in him?

Oh, and what is wrong with US book publishers?  Look at the utterly lame US cover at the top here.  First of all, the book is about soccer…why are they reaching for the ball with their hands??  Second, look here at this awesome UK cover by Paul Kidby (the official illustrator of Discworld).  Does he not have publishing rights in the US?

American readers, check out this cover.  It is awesome!  It gives you the whole cast, it gives a wonderful graphic of just what you’d be up against when you play this team.  Look, there’s the Librarian!  And, of course, the drawing is great.  Well, at least we have the internet.

But back to the football.  As with any Pratchett book it’s not just about football.  There is a whole bunch of stereotype-busting, inner-strength growing, pop-culture raspberrying, and general hilarity as well.  Oh, and Rincewind is back!  Hooray!

This book also breaks from a recent Pratchett tradition of chapters.  (No chapters are provided.  Of course, this means it’s hard to find a good stopping point, but I guess that’s okay).

And so, the main character here is a goblin named Nutt.  He is a candle dribbler at Unseen University (and he is very good at making the candles look especially old and well-dribbled (which reminds me of Slartibarfast who really enjoyed making fjords because of all the little crinkly bits)).  Nutt works with Trev.  Trev Likley is the son of John Likley, the most famous “football” player in Ankh-Morpork history.

Football here is mostly just pushing and fighting in the streets.  There are goal posts and there is a ball (it’s made of wood), but goals, when they are scored, are sort of beside the point.  People get hurt.  And that’s most of the fun.  In fact, Trev’s dad was killed in the line of duty, while playing football.  He had scored the most goals ever in a game and was immediately punished for it by the other team.

Trev and Nutt work in the subbasement of Unseen University.  Upstairs from them are two women who work in the Night Kitchen.  Glenda, the head of the kitchen is a steadfast, strong, take-no-shit chef who makes AMAZING pies and suffers no fools.  Except for perhaps Juliet, the beautiful, no, really beautiful, like staggeringly beautiful young woman who works for Glenda.  She’s really beautiful, but she doesn’t have a lot upstairs (meaning that Glenda has to give detailed instructions for making tea) but she’s really beautiful.

Every man is in lust with her and consequently no man can speak to her.  So Juliet is often alone.  When Trev actually talks to her, well, she’s willing to listen.  Glenda, mother-hen that she is, greatly opposes this union because, well, Trev is a chancer, a questionable character and Juliet is naive.

The more you start trying to talk about a Discworld book, the more subplots scream out, “Talk about me too!”  So, without trying to ignore anyone, let’s see:

Juliet is chosen by a Dwarfish designer to model (wearing a beard, of course) their new line of micromail (which doesn’t chafe!)   Pratchett must have been watching a lot of Project Runway, as he has a lot of fun with the behind-the-scenes of a fashion show.  (Drinking, partying till all hours  & all kinds of questionable behaviors).  And he introduces a wonderfully enigmatic character named Pepe a dwarfish? woman? who drinks a lot (!) but he? may not be a woman? although she? is very good with a sharp knife in a dark alley.

A new race also comes into Ankh-Morpork.  Orcs!  And we all know that orcs rip peoples heads off.

The Shove is also introduced.  The Shove is basically the will of the street. The invisible hammer that hits you on the head and says you ain’t supposed to do that.  It takes a strong person to resist the Shove, and really this whole story is about resisting the Shove. The Glenda scenes are particularly wonderful in this regard.

Lord Vetinari, who disapproves of football (even though he knows an awful lot about it), decides to make it a more proper sport by adding rules to it and, you know, putting it in a stadium, rather than on the streets. The Shove resists this change and sets out to see that it fails. Rules be damned.

We also see Vetinari’s “relationship” with her Ladyship, the Uberwaldian Lady who was in charge of Nutt before he was dispatched to Ankh-Morpork.

We also learn that Nutt, the goblin, has a secret past that even he is not aware of (although he is surrounded by phantom birds squawking awk! at him quite a lot.  When his secret is revealed it changes the way everyone looks a him (actually, it really changes the way he looks at himself, because as we all know by now, Ankh Morpork for all of its uncivilities is the most racially tolerant city ever (the police force has vampires, werewolves and trolls on it for crying out loud, why should a goblin have to hide himself?)).

And so, we get a romance subplot (or two…with some wonderfully literal metaphors from Nutt and a minor Cyrano reference).  We get some cool thuggery in the streets (and another new character, Andy, who never met a fight he didn’t want to start).  And, of course we get a heaping helping of the wizards!

The Unseen University’s wizards pop up from time to time in the Discworld books, so it’s fun to get to see inside the building from time to time.  We also get to see Mustrum Ridcully interact with the “treasonous” Dean who left UU for the up and coming Brazeneck College (where he is now Archchancellor, gasp!)  There’s some great comments about magic (and how doing magic to save the day usually means trying to use magic to save every day after that, too).  And, there’s some wonderful jabs at academic life too.

And of course, there is football. The whole reason for football coming into the University is that a bylaw states that they must field a football team every thirty years or so or they will lose a huge endowment.  So, the wizards, who are far more interested in eating than moving, must now try and kick a ball around.

Pratchett really gets to the heart of a football match.  He’s got the excitement down (when the writer from the Times tries to transcribe a match in progress).  You’ve got the hooligans, you’ve got the first Wave, and you’ve got wonderful offsides jokes.  I don’t know what it is about British comedies but they love to make fun of the offsides rule.  (Red Dwarf (my go-to comedy for having a funny joke about almost any topic) has this funny one from the one female cast member: “I mean I’ve tried to fit in I’ve really tried. I even learnt what offside meant”).

Regardless of your appreciation for football or even sports, this is a great Discworld addition.  It’s really got everything (even a cameo by Sam Vimes).  I think this book is longer than recent entries, as well (of course I’m too lazy to confirm that), but it reads very fast.

If you’re unfamiliar with the Discworld series, this is a good place to start reading.  There are some 40 books in the series so starting at the beginning would take you a long time to get here.  Some of the books assume prior knowledge of the series.  But this one doesn’t really.  There may be a few things that you won’t get, but he does a good job of bringing you up to speed.

And really, who doesn’t love a good comic novel from time to time.  The humor is at times childish, but it also has delightful sophistication and wonderful awareness of high and low culture.  I enjoyed this exchange very much (it’s not an exact quote):

Glenda tells Juliet that she should try to speak more posh, that it would be better for her is she didn’t sound so lower class.

Juliet protests, saying that she doesn’t want to sound like–
“My fare, lady” says the trolley conductor.

It works better in the original, but the joke made me laugh out loud.  I’m delighted that Terry is still able to put out such quality work!

A woman and a man are involved in a car accident on a snowy, cold Monday morning; it’s a bad one. Both of their cars are totally demolished, but amazingly neither of them is hurt. God works in mysterious ways. After they crawl out of their cars, the man is yelling about women drivers. The woman says, ‘So, you’re a man. That’s interesting. I’m a woman. Wow, just look at our cars! There’s nothing left, but we’re unhurt. This must be a sign from God that we should be friends and live in peace for the rest of our days.’ Flattered, the man replies, ‘Oh yes, I agree completely, this must be a sign from God! But you’re still at fault…women shouldn’t be allowed to drive.’ The woman continues, ‘And look at this, here’s another miracle. My car is completely demolished but this bottle of wine didn’t break. Surely God wants us to drink this wine and celebrate our good fortune.’ She hands the bottle to the man. The man nods his head in agreement, opens it and drinks half the bottle and then hands it back to the woman. The woman takes the bottle, puts the cap back on and hands it back to the man. The man asks, ‘Aren’t you having any?’ The woman replies, ‘No. I think I’ll just wait for the police…’

Many many years ago, I discovered Might magazine.  It was a funny, silly magazine that spoofed everything (but had a serious backbone, too).  (You can order back issues here).  And so, I subscribed around issue 13.  When the magazine folded (with issue 16–and you can read a little bit about that in the intro to Shiny Adidas Track Suits) it somehow morphed into McSweeney’s, and much of the creative team behind Might went with them.

The early volumes (1-5 are reviewed in these pages, and the rest will come one of these days) are a more literary enterprise than Might was.  There’s still a lot of the same humor (and a lot of silliness), but there are also lengthy non-fiction pieces.  The big difference is that McSweeney’s was bound as a softcover book rather than as a magazine. And, I guess technically it is called Timothy McSweeney’s Quarterly Concern as opposed to Timothy McSweeney’s Internet Tendency.

Issue #6 came with a CD of music by They Might Be Giants.  And from then on it was anybody’s guess what the next issue would look like.  (This Wikipedia page provides a nice summary of all of the issues that have been published, including authors).

The latest issue (#33) is being printed as a newspaper (just to give an idea of the diversity of product here).

The books (for most of them are books, despite the above newspaper) come out occasionally.  I gather it was supposed to be a quarterly, but I don’t know that they’ve ever really kept a schedule. Many of the books are hardcover (beautifully bound).  Some have been paperbacks.  Occasionally they come in a fancy packaging (boxes, slipcases etc). You never know what you’re going to get, which is a lot of the fun.

Although you do know that you’re going to get quality short stories.  The list of fantastic (and well-known) authors grows and grows. (Just a few: Michael Chabon, Stephen King, David Foster Wallace, George Saunders, Roddy Doyle, A.M. Homes, and Joyce Carol Oates.)  And mixed in with them are less well known (ie. more indie) authors, as well as occasional unknowns.  And even if I don’t love every story, I know that they’ll all be worth a read.

McSweeney’s itself has grown from a publisher of this quarterly to include an empire that publishes books (their book of the month club is the way to go), an official periodical (The Believer), and a video magazine (Wholphin).

I am probably a little too steeped in McSweeney’s-world, but I’ve never been disappointed with a release of theirs (okay, that’s not true, they have published a few clunkers).  I’m always excited to get the box with the little chair as the return address.

And, of course, I began a Wikipedia page of all of the McSweeney’s Books. I’m delighted to see that folks have been adding to it!

Original mention in Periodicals Page:

McSweeney’s. Technically a periodical. A collection of short stories and things like it. I’m usually too overwhelmed by the time this comes in, and frankly, I am many many issues behind on reading this. However, I plowed through 21 and 22 recently, and just got 23. So, I’m looking forward to it and its brethren. I got turned onto McSweeney’s because I used to subscribe to MIGHT magazine (R.I.P) which was a hilarious magazine ala Spy (R.I.P). Might ran for a dozen or so issues and then strangely morphed into McSweeney’s. I think somehow my subscription ran over into McSweeney’s and the rest is 23 issues of fun!

*****

*****

That’s right. 

via the LAT

SOUNDTRACK: KATE BUSH-Hounds of Love (1985).

I have a very specific memory of the first time I heard the song  “Hounds of Love.”  I was in high school and the Wilderness Adventure Club was heading towards whatever destination we were going to (funny I can’t remember the destination, but I recall the car trip there).  The head of the club (who was a teacher, but not one I had) was driving a bunch of us in his station wagon and this song came on.  My friend Brad and I howled with laughter at the “barking” that Kate does. “Roo Roo Roo Roo.”

It only occurred to me recently that the driver probably enjoyed the music or else he wouldn’t have had it on, so that wasn’t very nice of us.  It also occurs to me that he must have had the disc (actually the tape, as there were no discs then) because I don’t imagine the song was ever on the radio.  (Although I also think there may have been a DJ talking about the songs, so my memory is shaky).  I just remember laughing and laughing and quite likely Roo Rooing for much of the trip.

So, it’s funny now how much I love this disc (my high school self was a metal head, my college self expanded his musical mind rather a lot).

Kate’s previous two records were a wonderful precursor to this monumental disc.  The big hits come at the top: “Hounds of Love” is indeed an amazing song, as is “Running Up That Hill.”  But they’re familiar enough that I don’t have to say anything.  “The Big Sky” is a rollicking romp of fun.  And “Cloudbusting” is just simply amazing.  (Look for the video with Donald Sutherland!).  It’s five minutes of intense storytelling.

But for me, the second side of the album (starting with track 6 on the disc) is the real selling point.  It’s something of a story called The Ninth Wave.  And what I love about it (in addition to the awesome music) are the amazing effects and sounds and voices that are all over the tracks.

It begins simply with a delicate piece, “And Dream of Sheep,” a beautiful piano ballad.  It’s followed by the mesmerizing “Under Ice.”  The opening string sounds evoke someone skating on an ice (which is what the song is about).  As the tension grows (is someone under the ice?) voices far back in the distance compete with Kate singing “Its me!”

The next track, “Waking the Witch” begins with some awesome headphone voice work.  Voices from various family members implore her to wake up.  Left, right, middle, back.  Then, a voices asks “Can you not see that light over there?”  With a far off voice whispering “over here.”  When the song finally bursts forth, her voice is manipulated in a creepy disjointed way.  Followed by different musical sections with cathedral bells.  All through the track a male authority figure condemns the girl for being a witch.  And as the song ends (with a sample of the helicopter from Pink Floyd’s The Wall she is found guilty.  It’s quite intense.

The intensity slackens somewhat with the mellow “Watching Me Without You.”  But it builds again with the manic intensity of “The Jig of Life” a traditional jig with uilleann pipes in the background and Kate’s vocals over the top.  The song breaks into a very traditional sounding step dance seisiun until Kate starts whispering “I put this moment here” (more of that cool headphone stuff) and the song takes of again.

“Hello Earth” starts as a simple ballad reminiscent of “And Dream of Sheep” but it grows in intensity only to break for a choir passage.  It then returns to the intensity of Kate’s voice which fades and ends with Kate’s whispered:  “Tiefer, tiefer.  Irgendwo in der Tiefe.  Gibt es ein licht.” (Roughly: Deeper Deeper, Somewhere in the depths there is a light.)

The disc ends with “The Morning Fog” a respite from the intensity of the music and the contents.  It’s a light ballad (with amazing fretless bass work) that seems like it could have been used in a John Hughes film.  Especially for the “I tell my mother/father/loved ones/brother how much I love them” lyrics.

The Ninth Wave is one of my favorite suites to listen to.  It not only demands attention, it usually gets it.

Hounds of Love is, simply put, fantastic.

[READ: November 15, 2009] Gemini & The Transfiguration of Benno Blimpie

When I was a kid, watching cartoons on Channel 11, WPIX, there was a frequent, (in my memory it was incessant) commercial for a Broadway play.  And the only things I remember about the commercial were two snippets:  In the first, a young boy is gorging himself on food and his mother yells “TAKE HUMAN BITES!”  The second shows a woman who says “I’m  not hungry, I’ll just pick” who then grabs a handful of spaghetti from someone else’s plate.

This commercial was such a part of our culture, that my friends used to shout “TAKE HUMAN BITES” at each other all the time.  And yet, after all these years, I couldn’t remember what the play was.  So, out of curiosity, I did some searching to see if I could find this mysterious play (and, more importantly find the commercial).

So, thank you, internet, for helping me discover the play is Albert Innaurato’s Gemini.  No commercials have been forthcoming, sadly.

Well, I thought it would be fun to read this play and see if it was as funny as the commercial seemed.  Who could have guessed that the play would have turned out like this?

The play is set in a poor section of Philadelphia.  The cast is: Fran Geminiani, his son Francis, and his lady friend Lucille Pompi.  Their next door neighbors are Bunny Weinberger and her son Herschel.  The entire play is set in the yard that separates the two houses.  The two newcomers that set the play in motion are Randy & Judith Hastings.  They are brother and sister and go to Harvard with Francis.

Francis is a somewhat overweight, very insecure, very Italian kid.  Fran, his dad, is pretty close to an Italian working-class stereotype, with the pasta making and the boisterousness.  The basic plot is that Judith, a beautiful WASP, has fallen in love with Francis.  She and Randy hitchhike to Philly complete with camping gear.  They plan to sleep in Francis’ yard for a couple days (you know, crazy college kids).

Francis is very uncomfortable about their arrival.  He tells them that his dad is a Mafia guy and kills WASPs on sight.  (This freaks out Randy but not Judith, who is his intended target).  When that doesn’t work, he ultimately rebuffs her advances by telling her that he’s queer.  She doesn’t believe him after what they did at school before the summer started (and she is even more disbelieving when he reveals who he’s got a crush on).

The rest of the story, and arguably the real heart of the story, focuses on the interactions in the neighborhood.  Fran and Bunny have lived next to each other for many years.  Bunny is a loud, obnoxious Irish woman who married a Jew (there’s a lengthy monologue about that).  Her son Herschel is an overweight, asthmatic loser who she says is a genius, even though at 16 he rides a tricycle around the yard making trolley sounds, and collects Public Transportation paraphernalia.

Bunny is abusive to everyone, including her son (one stage direction states that she “beats the shit out of Herschel”).  She sings songs loudly on an out of tune piano and flirts aggressively with Fran and then Randy (a stage direction states that she grabs his crotch).  She is also due for a court date because she assaulted a woman who caught her (Bunny) in bed with the woman’s  husband (in the woman’s house).

The action of the play takes place over a 24 hour period.  In in that short span of time we are treated to attempted suicide, drug use, homosexuality, train schedules, and a near-crushing by a piano.  It’s quite a feat.

The story is pretty funny (although I must say that the commercial was much funnier than reading the lines in print).  But the strange thing about the play is that there are absolutely no likable characters (except maybe Randy, as he seems an innocent victim).  Fran and Bunny are loud and boorish.  Lucille is lazy.  Francis is insecure.  Herschel is an annoying hanger-on.  Even Judith gets into the mean-spirited act when Francis turns her down.

And yet, there is something starnegly endearing about the whole group of them.  And as a slice of life play, it’s very entertaining.  The characters are (despite the stereotypical ideas) well rounded and amusing.  And the scenes have the potential (when performed) to be over the top hilarious.  The play itself is only about 70 pages, and it’s a brisk read.  But as with most plays, I’m sure seeing it is better than reading it.

I just wish I could see the commercial again.  If anyone knows where it might be available, do pass it on!

The other play that comes with the book is The Transformation of Benno Blimpie. It’s only 30 pages (it’s a one act play).  If you thought the characters in Gemini were unpleasant, you have seen nothing yet.  The set-up of this play is that Benno, a very fat twenty-year old, has locked himself in a room and plans to eat himself to death.

The entirety of the play is Benno’s (biased) memory of events.  And the play is set up so that he never physically leaves his room, but he interacts with the other characters as if he were in the room with them.  (Which I’ll bet is a very cool device on stage).

Benno’s flashbacks concern his parents and his grandfather.  His father is a former athlete and is something of a non-entity in the house.  His mother is a mean, horrible woman who never fails to insult Benno about his weight or his complexion or about how miserable her life has been since she had him.  (Her very first scene is quite shocking!).  The only charterer who is at all nice to him is his grandfather.

And yet, as Benno flashes back, his grandfather becoming sexually involved with a 13 year-old Catholic school girl.  (She encourages him to do things to her, and tries to get money out of him).  And, when she turns him down when he tries to do “more” with her, he takes his frustrations out on Benno just like everyone else.

Benno basically went through life being mocked and abused by everyone.  His only joy was in art.  But the art he made wasn’t appreciated by anyone.  So his only love has also let him down.  His last recourse is to simply to eat himself to death.

This play is shocking on many levels.  And all of the characters are reprehensible.  I’m not even entirely sure that I would want to see it performed (it lacks even the grim humor of Gemini).

I didn’t know a thing about Innaurato, so I looked him up and discovered that Gemini ran on Broadway for 1,819 performances and earned him an Obie Award.  It was also made into the film Happy Birthday, Gemini. starring Madeline Kahn and Rita Moreno.  Benno Blimpie also earned him an Obie.  Wow.

While looking around I found some clips from the movie Happy Birthday, Gemini.  And I have to admit that watching the clips leads me to think that if done well, both of the plays would be quite funny despite how disturbing they are.  I also wonder, if I find these stories shocking now, how shocking they must have been in 1978!  Francis’ homosexuality is accepted without any dismay, as is the drug use (there’s some very funny sequences about the pot smoing).  Even Benno’s grandfather’s pedophilia is sort of dismissed (although I think that, awful as it sounds, pedophilia was seen as less horrible in the 70s…can that be right?  I mean the whole Jodie Foster/Taxi Driver thing.)

Anyhow, these plays are not for the weak-hearted.  And I wonder if a revival of Gemini would be viable now.  (Although, interestingly, there is now Gemini The Musical.  I can’t wait to see what that’s all about!  Actually, I want to hear the music!)

The two movie clips are shared below.  Madeline Kahn is Bunny and she is hilarious (although she is cast completely against what Bunny looks like in theplay).  And, I think Francis is also a good looking athletic guy in the movie, too  (Innaurato didn’t have anything to do with the movie).  The clips are quite funny.  Sadly neither one features my favorite lines.  The movie is available only on VHS as far as I can tell.

Here’s one of the pot smoking scenes:

This is the suicide scene:

SOUNDTRACK-KATE BUSH-The Dreaming (1982).

This disc focuses Kate’s intensity somewhat.  I was just reading that it was nowhere near as popular as her previous discs in England (where she had been number 1 many times), although, interestingly it made the charts in the US because of college radio airplay.

The disc is still experimental (there’s all kinds of weird things going around) but it feels kind of claustrophobic.  The disc opens with the manic percussion of “Sat in your Lap” (this song also features the gamut of Kate’s diverse vocal talents: whispered verses, shrieking bridges and bellowing chorus).

“There goes a Tenner” is about a robbery (and is sung with an East End accent).  There’s also the weird and wonderful “Suspended in Gaffa” (recently covered by Ra Ra Riot).  “The Dreaming” is about Australia (and is sung in an Aussie accent).

Meanwhile, “Houdini” breaks briefly from its raging vocals into a mellow string-filled middle piece (with more of that gorgeous fretless bass). The cover of the disc shows a “scene” from the song (she’s slipping a key into Houdini’s mouth).

The disc ends with the outrageous “Get Out of My House.”  It is a scary, crazy song with Kate shrieking like a madwoman and the male vocalist turning into a donkey (hee-hawing as he goes).

I have always enjoyed this disc.  It is a wonderful step between the all-over-the-place crazy of Never for Ever and the gorgeous controlled beauty of Hounds of Love. It’s not afraid to showcase Kate’s crazy side (okay, really crazy side), and yet it still keeps a sense of humor (and has some wonderful melodies as well).

[READ: November 13, 2009] This Book is Not Good for You

I’ve been a fan of the Pseudonymous Bosch books since the beginning.  I love the whole concept of the series (that even the author is being persecuted by the bad guys and can’t give out any real names, not even his own).  This book is no exception.  The mystery concerns the adventure of our heroes: Cass, Max-Ernest and Yo-Yoji in their fight against the Midnight Sun, who….   Well, I have to be honest, I’m not entirely clear exactly what the Midnight Sun are up to.  I’m not even sure that not knowing is a bad thing.  We know that  they are mysterious, that they are all very old (they have gained knowledge of a formula for eternal youth), and they really don’t like our heroines or the Terces Society that they belong to.  But aside from that I’m not sure what their long term goal is.  It may have been mentioned in the previous books, but at this point, I just know they’re bad.

This volume has an added element of fun in that the author himself is under attack from the Midnight Sun in the very pages of the book!  (They drug him and at one point even slip an extra piece of paper into the book (which tells the reader that the Midnight Sun is being misrepresented by Bosch).

But really, the story is all about chocolate.  Bosch himself is a chocolate gourmand (he disdains milk chocolate and especially white chocolate, although he doesn’t have a problem with vanilla per se).  There’s a thorough guide to chocolate in the index.  There’s even chocolate recipes!

For chocolate is the latest way the Midnight Sun plans to keep their organization growing in size but never in age (the founder of the Midnight Sun is over 500 years old!).  And what better way to get new members than through delicious chocolate.

The heads of the Midnight Sun (Ms Mauvius & Dr. L are still in charge) have moved their base of operations to a cacao-producing rainforest.  And they are able to pick the ripest and most succulent cacao seeds (through a combination of child and monkey labor (and the monkey labor…ew!)).  With these beans thy plan to create the most delicious chocolate ever.  But they need one special item to complete the task.

And this item is…a tuning fork (?!).  There is a magical tuning fork that enables any item to taste like the most delicious food in the world.  And if the Midnight Sun can get the tuning fork, well…  they can use their delicious chocolates for their nefarious purposes (which seem to be capturing Cass, but perhaps there’s more).

This book is set in the summer, just like Diary of Wimpy Kid’s Dog Days.  I wonder if winter 2009 is the season for summer books.

Cass, Max-Ernest and Yo-Yoji (which we learn is not his real name although, sadly, we don’t learn his real name) get into all kinds of fun trouble.  (Wait till you see what the chocolate can do!).  And, this time, Cass’ mom gets inadvertently involved in the action.

In the previous book we learned that Cass was adopted.  This subplot is followed up on, too.  Lots of tantalizing secrets are given about her, but as with Yo-Yoji’s name, nothing is revealed.  Even Max-Ernest has a few surprises revealed about himself…in fact the two things that most dominated his character are undermined and called into question!

And…  the book ends on a cliffhanger.  Although the -hanger is not for this story arc (thankfully.  There’s nothing worse than a book that should end but doesn’t because of a sequel).  So this story arc ends, and the final chapter sets us up for what lies ahead.  Since it was fairly obvious that there would be another book in the series, there’s nothing wrong with Pseudonymous setting us up for what lies ahead.  And what lies ahead is…

a Secret.

I’m pretty psyched about it.

If you haven’t read the previous books in the series, then don’t jump into this one!  (He even gives a way a plot point of book 2, so don’t read out of order).  But if you have read the first two, then this is a wonderful follow up.

All of Bosch’s tricks are in full force: Weird chapter titles, chapters that are interrupted by other chapters, passages that are interrupted by Bosch himself, definitions (funny and often quite helpful), and footnotes, lots of footnotes, that are also very funny.

The first book in the series had a lot of puzzles for the readers to figure out.  This book doesn’t really have those (faithful readers will be a little disappointed to hear that); this story is more of a mystery that needs to be solved, but the reader doesn’t have a lot of time trying to figure out anything really challenging.  It takes a little of the fun out, but replaces it with a lot of suspense.

And Bosch is such a good storyteller, that you’ll find it hard to put this down.

I can’t wait for book 4 !

SOUNDTRACK: TINDERSTICKS-The Hungry Saw (2008).

It was the releases of this Tindersticks disc (their first in 5 years) on the venerable Constellation Records (in North America) that inspired my trip through their back catalog. I was completely surprised to see them released on Constellation, as the band doesn’t exactly fit with the label’s stereotypical style (although, realistically with the last dozen or so releases, Constellation has really expanded the kind of music they release).

And this is a fantastic Tindersticks release!  There’s not a bad song on the disc. And, even though nothing is as immediately gripping as say “Can We Start Again,” the disc contains some of the band’s strongest songs.  “The Hungry Saw” is simply amazing, both lyrically and in its catchy (yet creepy) chorus.  But the highlight is probably “Boobar, Come Back to Me,” a song that begins slowly and builds gloriously, including a call and response segment that makes this song really swagger.

“Mother Dear” features a strangely comical musical episode.  In an otherwise very mellow piano based track, right in the middle of the song, come slashing, somewhat atonal guitar chords.  It’s as if a more rocking song is trying to overtake the mellow track.  (The coup is rebuffed, though).

The biggest thing to note about the disc is that longtime co-songwriter Dickon has left the band.  And so, some of the co-writing duties have been taken up by David Boulter.  While it is obviously sad that Dickon has left, Staples seems revitalized on this disc, and Boulter’s additions (especially his quirky instrumentals) bring a new point of view to the proceedings.  Also of note is something of a return to the orchestral style (albeit a much more understated version).  However, different songs emphasize different aspects: horns on one, strings on another, but always underscored by the ubiquitous Hammond organ.

It’s not a radical departure or anything like that.  It’s more of a continuation after a well earned vacation.  And it’s certainly their strongest release since their first four.

[READ & WATCHED: October 2009] Souvenir of Canada, Souvenir of Canada 2 & Souvenir of Canada (the movie)

I got the first Souvenir of Canada when it came out.  (I was on a big Coupland kick and may have even bought it in Montreal).  I didn’t get #2 when it came out, probably because I didn’t really invest a lot of effort into the first one.  But after recently reading City of Glass, I wanted to get a little more involved in Coupland’s visual art.  So, I picked up #2 and, while investigating this second book, I discovered that he had made a film of the books, too.

Coupland explains in the introduction that this book is his personal vision of what Canada is like. It is designed for Canadians as something of a nostalgia trip, but it is also something of an introduction to unseen Canada for non-Canadians.  And so, what you don’t get is pictures of mounties and Tim Hortons and other things that fit the stereotypical Canadian bill. Rather, you get things that are significant to Coupland (and maybe the average Canadian born on the West Coast in the 60s).

He begins with Baffin Island and moves more or less alphabetically through significant things in his Canadian existence: chimo (the short lived Canadian greeting), wonderfully aggressive anti smoking ads on packs of smokes, the Group of Seven, Inuksuit rock statues (like on the cover of this Rush album), the maple leaf (the flag’s only been around since 1967), ookpik, Poutine, stubbies, Trans-Canada highway, through to Zed.

Coupland give s brief paragraph or two (or more in some cases) about the item/idea/concept and how it related to his life.  It certainly provides an insight into a culture that is often hidden in plain sight (especially to Americans).

I especially enjoyed learning about Capitaine Crounche.

Pictures feature heavily in the book.  There are a lot of stock photos of various Canadian items.  And there are a lot of photos that Coupland has used by permission to enhance his descriptions.

Coupland has also created several “still lifes” which he finds to be quintessentially Canadian.  They feature elements from his childhood mashed together into a disconcerting yet oddly familiar scene. So there are beer bottles and electronic hockey games and Canada geese and all manner of things.  Although I have to say that I don’t find them very appealing as art.

The second book picks up where the previous one left off two years earlier.

The first book is more text heavy than the second.  This volume has a lot more photos (not original ones, more stock footage pictures, which I rather like).  It begins with some abstract ideas about Being Canadian, but moves steadily into the CMHC Houses (which will come into play for Canada House), the brilliant Robertson screwdriver, his mom’s kitchen (a favorite of mine), Terry Fox, Tranna (Toronto), Treeplanters , Y?? (airport designations…Toronto’s is YYZ, hey, like the Rush song!), through to Zut!

The Robertson Screwdriver looks like this. And it doesn't strip like a Phillips head.

This volume feels even more personal. He discusses the prevalence of Canada Geese (and that his family raised some when he was little).  There’s his mother’s kitchen and of course, Canada House.  Canada House was a project that DC undertook.  He found a CMHC house that was destined for destruction.  He was able to decorate it with his art to make it quintessential Canadian.  It is fascinating to see, and seems like it would have been quite cool to visit (for the two weeks it was in operation). The fact that he adds personal information about the experiment (people who visited and where they were from) is great.

As I said the pictures in the books are a lot of fun.  I loved the Eatson’s catalog from the 70s, and, of course, the shots from Canada House are wonderful.  DC also wrote a book about Terry Fox a couple of years after this, so the pages about him are quite moving.

This is a wonderful continuation of the series, and I think I wound up enjoying this volume more.

As far as I can tell the Souvenir of Canada DVD was recently reissued with this new cover (on the left).  I prefer the original cover (on the right) [or is that the U.S DVD release?].  I didn’t read about any real difference between the two editions, so I assume it is just repackaged.

The DVD is something of a video version of the books, but there are many differences. The documentary doesn’t go through either book with a lot of detail.  It does mention a half or dozen or so entries, and there may even be some quotes from the books.  For the most part, it contains a few highlights from the books, but it goes off on its own tangents quite a bit.  The film also features music from the New Pornographers, so that’s nice too.

The first notable thing to me was Coupland’s voice.  I have never heard him speak before and it was absolutely nothing like what I expected (especially how slow his pace is).

The main focus of the DVD tends to fall on the aforementioned Canada House.  Even though the pictures of Canada House in the book are very cool, I felt like the book didn’t show enough of this cool exhibition.  The centerpiece of the film shows Coupland picking, tearing apart, cleaning up and assembling Canada House.  We get to see a lot of the things that he talks about it the book, but we get a more 360 degree Canada House experience.  It’s very interesting.

Like the books, the film is one man’s opinion of what Canada is.  What I like about it is that it is a very uncommerical (and I think very Vancouver-centric) opinion.  It also reflects back onto Coupland’s childhood (in the lat 60s/early 70s), and I learned more about him in a few moments than in all of the book jacket blurbs I’ve read.  It comes across as so much nostalgia.  But it clear that Coupland loves his home land.  And it’s that kind of passion that makes any art compelling.

As I said, I found a lot of his still lifes to be to random at best (he says you have to be Canadian to really appreciate them, but I think even aesthetically they’re a little blah).  But the standalone sculptures are all pretty cool.  He made some lamps out of fisherman’s floats (which are HUGE!).  But the most interesting items are the quilts.  He didn’t make them, but he designed them and they are all very cool. I especially liked the $1,000 quilt which is made of 1,000 loonie coins.

It was also interesting to learn that the Canada House exhibit was exported to London (the final line of the movie is hilarious).

So, which is the best of the three?  Obviously I think the film is the most fully formed and three-dimensional.  (The Canada House thing is very neat). But the books are also a lot of fun too.  Even if you’re not especially interested in Canada, if you enjoy seeing pop culture before it gets assimilated into corporate culture, this is a fun look at what Canada used to be like.  And, of course, Coupland’s writing is always engaging.

SOUNDTRACK: CAPTAIN BEEFHEART AND HIS MAGIC BAND-Trout Mask Replica (1968).

–Fast and Bulbous.
–Bulbous yes, but also tapered.

This is an infamous disc in the history of music.  Which surprises me, as I can’t imagine many people have ever listened to it in its entirety.  I learned about it though my Frank Zappa fascination (he produced the record).

This disc also holds some kind of fascination for fiction writers.  I recall an episode of Beverly Hills 90210 (yes, of course I watched it) in which a new character was introduced.  He was a cool hip indie guy and I thought he was finally a cool character on a show I was getting rather sick of.  But because he was different, he was of course mocked.

He is first mocked for keeping his records in alphabetical order (and come on, anyone with more than 50 discs has to, it’s not a sign of weirdness, just common sense).  And second he was mocked for owning this album (picture a 90210er say Captain Beefheart?).  Of course, later on, he goes on to commit murder or arson or some other thing, thereby proving that alternative music is only for psychopaths, but heck, when has TV ever lied to us?

And now, this disc is a favorite of the hero of this book (which is what prompted me to bust out the disc and give it a listen).

And so wow, what a weird album.  Even 41 years later this record is still waaay out there.   The disc opens with “Frownland.”  And how to describe it?  The left speaker is playing sort of free jazz guitar chords.  The right speaker is playing a wild atonal guitar solo with a thumping bass.  In both speakers you get all over the place (but rather quiet) drums and the good Captain himself singing in a voice that could have inspired Tom Waits.  And the Captain’s song would be a very catchy melody if it had anything to do with what everyone else was playing (which it doesn’t).  And the whole things lasts for under 2 minutes.  There’s 28 songs not unlike this one, for a total of about 75 minutes.

Some other treats: a wild skronking horn solo on one song.  There’s also a song about the Holocaust.  And there’s even several music-free spoken word “poetry” readings.  And of course, the aforementioned bulbous quote.

Amidst this chaos are three songs that are more or less songs in the conventional sense, “Moonlight on Vermont,” “Veteran’s Day Poppy” and “Sugar ‘n Spikes,” meaning they have verses and choruses and whatnot.  But even those are still pretty far out and won’t be (and haven’t been) on the radio anytime soon.

Word is that this is a hugely influential disc and it lands on all kinds of Best Album Of All Time lists.  I can see that it has influenced a few people over the years (Devandra Banhart comes to mind), but still.  This is the kind of music you put on at a party when you want everyone to go home.

[READ: November 6, 2009] I am a Genius of Unspeakable Evil and I Want to be Your Class President

I heard about this book when Jon Stewart gave it a big plug on The Daily Show (the author is one of the writers for the show).  After many of the “heavy” titles that I’d been reading, it was a delight to read something that was purely comic.

And it was very funny indeed.

The book reminded me in many ways of Artemis Fowl (if Aretmis hadn’t turned over a new leaf–and without the fairies, of course).  In fact, I’m not entirely sure what the age group for the book is.  The main character is in seventh grade (and the language is very mild, certainly suitable for kids).  But when I found it in the book store, it was in the adult section.  So, I’m not entirely sure where to place it.

Anyhow, the premise here is that Oliver Watson is an evil genius.  Evil here doesn’t mean psychotic or sociopathic, he doesn’t want to kill people.  He just wants things to go the way he wants.  All the time.  And he is usually quite successful.  He is, after all, one of the top 5 wealthiest people in the world.  And he’s only in 7th Grade.

But as any genius knows, a 7th grader can’t be one of the richest men in the world, so he needs a front.  And he has hired Sheldrake to be the face of his wealth (at least until he is 18).

Oliver is pretty contemptuous of people in general, but of children in general.  He believes that all children are stupid (and he cites many examples of middle school behavior to back him up).  He also thinks most of his teachers are stupid (and in one case he tries to set two of them up so that they can make each other miserable (ha!)).

And so, his public face to the whole school (and even to his parents) is that of a complete moron.  He sleeps during class, he answers poorly and, most importantly he talks like a blithering idiot.  But if he thinks everyone is beneath contempt, then why does he wan to be class president?

Well, first, because he was nominated. The most evil girl in school Tati, nominated him, presumably as a joke (although she may suspect that he’s not as dumb as he seems).  But he refused the nomination.  So then, why?

Well, that has a lot to do with his family.  The most important part of his family is his dog Lollipop.  Lollipop is a specially trained pit bull (photo included in the book).  And wait till you here how well trained she is!  As for the rest of his family, his mother is fat and dumb and rather lovable (and he does love her…he allows that much affection in his life). His father is, well, let’s say his father is not very happy that his life was ruined by the birth of this idiot son of his.  In fact, his father has made no bones about his distaste for his son.  So, when Oliver learns that his father won class president and it was the most important day of his life, well Oliver sets out to show him that any idiot (namely himself) can do it.

And he is willing to do ANYTHING to win (including spend a lot of his vast fortune) and deliberately make a fool of himself in front of everyone.  So imagine his surprise when he suddenly gets a trio of girls in his class making posters for him (their moms will have to “win” a lottery one of these days).

But what happens when all of his plans go awry (as you know they will)?  And just how many enemies can a 7th grader make?

This book was very very funny.  The way that Oliver spoke and dismissed others was great.  The running cigarette joke is hilarious.  As are all of the wonderful literary jokes (he’s trying to set up the English teacher after all).  In fact, everything to do with Mr Moorhead is fantastic.  And the pacing is wonderful  It’s a super fast read, and I laughed on just about every page (except during the explosions).

I was also very amused by the whole Captain Beefheart thing.  (What a wonderfully weird thing to have as a kid’s favorite band…how on earth would he have ever heard of it?)

The only complaint about the book I had was with the plates (well, specifically because one was missing).  There are pictures scattered through out the book.  They are all referenced in the text (ie. See Plate 1 for  picture of Lollipop).  And many of them are funny.  The problem was that Plate Number 16 was not included in the book!  It’s nowhere to be found.  And it had the potential to be the funniest one of all, as it was meant to show a typical PBS pledge drive (his father works for the local affiliate).  Given the mock up of other scenes, I think the PBS one would have been great.

That said, one printing error does not in any way detract from the book.  It’s a great read.  It’s very funny. What else can I write?

As Oliver himself might say:

Chapter 1:

I am Done now

Chapter 2:

Stop reading

Chapter 3:

What are you, an idiot?  I said stop reading.