Al Gore no últimpo episódio de SNL (SE35EP07):

If you ask me, that sounds AWESOME.

We’re gonna party like its 2009.

And by party I mean make lists of all the anime I liked over the past decade.

Been awhile since I posted. Stuff happens and blogs cease to happen. You know how it goes. Now I find myself a scant month or so away from the turn of the decade and I feel like laying down some elaborated listage when it comes to my favorite anime series of said decade. There’s been plenty of awesome shows and there’s been an awful amount of crap, so I figure we’re par for the quality course. I’ll be doing a separate post for each year. Each of these posts will showcase three series that I feel represent the best of the best from that year, with one of those series being declared “best of the year.” Along with those elaborated-upon series will be a short list of “also-rans,” representing series that were good-but-not-good-enough.

You may see some popular series in these “also-ran” lists. Don’t take that as some backhanded insult. I’m not listing anything that I feel is mediocre or crappy. Even a series that get a passing mention is pretty snazzy. So when you see, say, Gurren Lagaan mentioned in passing, don’t get up in arms. It’s a good series, but not as good as the three series from that year that I felt were superior.

I’m only including anime TV series in these lists. No movies, no OAVs. Also, I considered series as a whole. So if a series had a sequel at a later date, said sequel was taken into consideration for that series’ ranking during the year it was released. No sequels will appear as separate entries on these lists. This means that despite being a series from the 2000s, the second season of Big O won’t appear here. The first season aired in 1999, so it isn’t “from this decade” according to my arbitrary standards.

For the record, my favorite anime movies from this decade were Ghost in the Shell 2 and Paprika.

With all of that said, let’s get a move on to 2000’s series.

Honorable Mentions

Tsukikage Ran

Tsukikage Ran, aka Carried With the Wind, is a fairly straightforward anime series. It plays out like an old-school samurai live-action drama, as the main characters drift from town to town and deal with a new dilemma each episode. That makes the story episodic in nature, and “episodic” seems to be a four-letter word in most anime fans’ dictionaries. This is a sentiment I’ve never understood.

The episodic nature of a series like Tsukikage Ran allows for greater opportunity for character interaction. Note that I said “interaction” rather than “development.” The two main characters, a female ronin and a female martial artist, don’t go through any sort of narrative metamorphosis over the course of the story. They’re fairly static characters by most standards. By interaction I’m referring to the interplay between the characters and their situations. Since we don’t have a overarcing storyline to keep up with, we can pay attention to the character’s personality, get to “know” the character, and better appreciate the ways in which they behave and interact with the story-of-the-week.

This is the charm of episodic dramas and sitcoms. You get to know the characters and look forward to how they’ll react to a given situation. It’s a different sort of viewing experience. Some might call it a “comfort factor,” in that you know what’s going to happen next. That’s an understandable viewpoint, but I think it’s a bit reductive and dismissive. Saying that it’s comforting is to say that there’s no real value in what’s taking place beyond immediate gratification. Not that there’s anything wrong with immediate gratification, but there’s more to this sense of familiarity than mere creature comforts.

This is a narrative device not unlike a plot. Where a linear plot that stretches from one episode to the next creates a certain context for characters to interact within, the episodic story creates another. It allows for a wider variety of scenario to take place, so we can see the characters in different situations that they might not encounter in a more linear storyline. There’s more variety to what we’re getting, and I consider this a strength rather than a weakness.

This is the charm of Tsukikage Ran. Instead of following these characters on a single storyline, we see them encounter several differing situations, and said situations create interesting stories. It doesn’t hurt that the action scenes are reasonable executed, making the obligatory sword scenes enjoyable to watch.

So there we go. Tsukikage Ran is an excellent example of an episodic storyline that works well. It’d do most anime fans some good to give such series a shot. They might find the change of pace refreshing if they don’t dismiss such stories without a second look.

Argento Soma

What do you get when you throw Shakespeare, Marlowe, and a post-Evangelion mecha show into a food processor? You get Argento Soma.

Guy wants revenge. Guy infiltrates an alien-fighting organization to get said revenge. Guy pretends to be someone he isn’t to get revenge. Guy is thoroughly obsessed and is driven to self-destruction due to revenge. That’s pretty much Hamlet-with-a-Giant-Robot, and that’s a fairly accurate description of Argento Soma. Throw in a little Dr. Faustus dealing-with-the-devil in the form of the man that he bargains with to get into said organization, and you have an anime version of Elizabethan drama as a whole.

Argento Soma takes some classic themes that we’ve seen a thousand times over and executes said themes with great success. The degree to which the main character takes his revenge is great to behold. The mecha scenes are pretty good for that sort of thing. All in all this is one of the better post-Evangelion mecha shows that came along in the late 90s and early 00s.

It also has one of the greatest end themes and animations of all time.

What’s awesome about this ending is that it shows everything that the main character could have had if he chose not to pursue revenge. He had every opportunity to live a normal, fulfilling, complete life. The only thing compelling him to self-destruction by way of vengeance is himself and he’s well-aware of the fact. He isn’t coping out and claiming that this is the only path available for him. He knows that he made a conscious decision to seek out revenge, and any longing for a normal life is futile at best. By showing this in the end credits, the series re-emphasizes this point with each episode, reminding the viewer that the main character’s path isn’t one to emulate. That’s one way to moralize without being preachy and obnoxious.

Also, the song is great, and if you think it’s cheesy you suck.

Best of the Year

Boogiepop Phantom

Artistically, Boogiepop is a masterpiece. The series uses lighting and colors in a very unique way. The series starts off using very dark and muted colors and lighting, and as the series progresses said colors and lighting become increasingly clearer, sharper, and brighter. The tone of the series may grow increasingly darker, but as we gain insight into the goings-on of the plot, the appearance of the series begins to mirror our outlook. It’s as if we’re literally stepping into the light and having everything revealed to us as said light grows brighter.

Narratively, Boogiepop utilizes its non-linear nature to great effect. Events are revealed to us in terms of their relevance rather than in terms of their chronological order. This is hardly a new technique, but Boogiepop uses it to create a sense of the unknown, and by slowly revealing information over the course of the series, it helps create that sensation of stepping into the light that is created by the series’ art direction.

The series has a distinct theme of rejecting self-denial and blinding oneself to the world around them. Several characters try to escape from their problems, either through attempting to deny said problems or having said problems removed in some manner. Such actions are constantly punished by one means or another. The series doesn’t accept the “I can do anything so long as I believe in it” mentality that’s frequently championed in anime. Such attitudes are seen as undesirable, as anyone who feels they can change who they are or what their life is like through “accentuating the positive” is usually killed in a horrific manner. This is not a positive series in the least bit, but it also reinforces the idea that one should face one’s problems rather than try to pretend said problems don’t exist.

You can’t have someone eat a bug that represents your inner turmoil and think you’ll be hunky dory. That’s just weird, man.

Also-Rans

Sakura Wars, NieA_7, Gate Keepers

May your stuffing be tasty

May your turkey be plump

May your potatoes and gravy have never a lump

May your yams be delicious

And your pies take the prize

May your Thanksgiving dinner stay off of your thighs!

Happy Thanksgiving Everyone!

Yesterday, a friend of mine (Yashvin Veerappa) found this post about REST: “How I explained REST to my wife“. It’s one of the best descriptions of REST I’ve ever read…really well-written and easy to follow. It’s in the form of a dialog between a man named Ryan and his wife. After I read it I thought I could try to explain REST to my girlfriend too (I hope she’s not reading my blog…!). After all, explaining something to others is the best way to really understand it yourself.So, this is what happened when I tried to explain REST to my girlfriend over the phone (read the original first)!

Alex: Do you know Roy Fielding?

GF: No, never heard of him!

Alex: He is a really smart guy! He helped writing the first web servers and then did a ton of research explaining why the web works the way it does. His name is….

GF: Sorry, what web are you talking about? Was he an entomologist?

Alex: No, no, not spider web…hmmmm, I mean the “Internet“.

GF: Oh, so he is the one who built youtube? I saw the funniest video yesterday about…

Alex: No, no wait, let me finish! He didn’t build youtube. Youtube is a web page. Fielding helped writing the first web servers which are machines where your browser connects in order to…

GF: What’s a browser?

Alex: A browser is a program that downloads and views web pages, like youtube!

GF: You know, for a computer scientist your knowledge is very limited…the thing you’re talking about is called Internet Explorer, not browser!

Alex: Well, Internet Explorer is a web browser but there are others as well, e.g. Firefox, Opera, etc. Let me give you some extra information here. Web pages are stored in web servers. So, when you want to see a web page, you open a browser and enter a URL…sorry, I mean a name like www.youtube.com, which is called URL. The browser then connects to a DNS server to find the IP address of the webpage…hmm, forget the last one, the browser does some “stuff” to find in which web server the web page is stored and then communicates with the web server and asks for this specific web page. The protocol which is used for the web, what you are calling Internet, is called HTTP. HTTP is capable of describing the location of something anywhere in the world from anywhere in the world. It’s the foundation of the web. You can think of it like GPS coordinates for knowledge and information.

(Silence…)

Alex: Are you there?

GF: Sorry, I went to the fridge to get something to eat! What were you saying about youtube?

Alex: Grrrrr, I was saying….

(…and I explained the whole thing again!)

GF: Ok, so this HTTP thingy is used to describe the location of web pages, right?

Alex: WOW, amazing! Exactly right…actually almost right! HTTP is used to describe the location of resources, where resources could be anything. A web page is a visual representation of that resource. For example, in youtube, a video is the resource you want to find and is using a web page in order to be visually available to you!

GF: Oh, ok, I think I understand that!

Alex: The amazing thing is that these resources can be anywhere in the world and the computers have to communicate with each other in order to find them. If you want to find a specific resource, your computer will communicate with another computer, asking it about this resource. That computer might not have it but it will point out another computer that will have it.

GF: What???

Alex: Let me give you an example. You’re talking to your sister and she…

GF: I don’t have a sister! We are together for over 1 year and you still don’t know whether I have a sister or not!!!

Alex: Sorry, I was just reading an example of another webpage. Say that you’re talking to your brother and he wants to borrow your sweeper. But…

GF: Why would he want to borrow my sweeper? He lives in Germany and I’m in France…it would be easier to go and buy a new one from a local shop!

Alex: Grrrr, it’s just an example! So, let’s say that he wants to borrow your sweeper. But you don’t have it- your mom in Greece has it. So you tell him….

GF: My mom doesn’t use sweepers.

Alex: IT’S JUST A F$*^#ING EXAMPLE!

GF: Why are you yelling at me? Don’t you love me anymore?

Alex: I’m sorry, you’re right…I just got frustrated because if you don’t understand this simple example, how am I going to explain to you all the other things later, like polymorphism and ….

GF: Polymorphism? What’s that?

Alex: Well, in simple words it’s a way of classifying objects with similar attributes. Say for example you have an object called Woman, and another object…

GF: WHAT? That’s what women are to you? Objects?

Alex: No,no, it’s just an example, I didn’t…

GF: So I’m just an object to you, right? Maybe just a sex toy?

Alex: No, what I was trying to say…

GF: I know exactly what you were trying to say! I thought you were different, but all men are the same, you only have one thing in your minds…

Alex: Oh, fuck it!

(And I hung up the phone…)

(Just to avoid the possibility of being single after my girlfriend reads this, I should clarify that the above conversation is entirely fictional!)

You might recall back in 1996, the movie “Rebound: The Legend of Earl ‘The Goat’ Manigault”, a feature real life movie about a basketball street legend. “The Goat’s” signature move was the double dunk, catch it with his left hand, switch the ball to his right hand, bring it back around and jam it through again… all in one leap… without hanging on the rim to pull the stunt off. When the Lakers held Kareem Abdul-Jabar’s number retiring ceremony the Forum, they ask him who was the greatest player he ever played with or against, he answered, “that would have had to have been ‘The Goat’. Get it? ‘The Goat” was bad (in the good sense)!! But what had happened was, along the way, he kinda gets mixed up with the wrong crowd and sort of gets mixed up with the wrong drugs and anyway,  you know where I’m going with this.  The fact is this post has nothing whatsoever to do with ‘The Goat’ or even basketball at all, but the unfortunate truth that most of us can tell of the neighborhood guy that had ‘the goods’ and could have made it, but didn’t.

The story of J-Slash The Notorious B.U.M. is no different.  Legend has it (as told by J-Slash, that is) that once upon a time Houston m.c. Slim Thug attempted to bring him into the studio to and record him.  Now, several years later after stints in jail and living on the streets, the Notorious bum can still be found spitting verses at the local Wendy’s drive thru…. Ladies and Gentlemen, I introduce to you Jay-Slash The Notorious B.U.M.

Aww, my house smells so much like Thanksgiving already.

I burned the squash.

The cranberries exploded on the stove. I should have thought ahead and purchased a red stove.

The green beans are okay, but the mushrooms are a bit singed.

I dropped the pie on the floor.  Emergency phone call: “Honey, when you pick up the turkey today from the restaurant (from whence it comes cooked, thank the merciful God), could you also pick up a pie?”

One batch of rolls came out okay.  One didn’t.

Yes, I do as much stuff before Thanksgiving as I can, so the smell of smoke has left the house by the time we eat.

I am not the world’s worst cook, but I’m in the top 10.

Well, I’ve been away for ages haven’t I? I’ve been a little busy, and truth be told, the well of inspiration has been a little dry for a while now. Anyhoo, I decided that I needed to *just start* writing again and the ideas will begin to flow. Today’s entry is about humour. In fact, it is downright hilarious.

In programming circles, parsing HTML with Regular Expressions is considered a bad idea. “Exactly how bad?”, you ask. Bad enough that one user on Stack Overflow says it’ll bring about the end of the world. Or something like that. You can’t really make sense of the crazy in the later bits!

“You can’t parse [X]HTML with regex. Because HTML can’t be parsed by regex. Regex is not a tool that can be used to correctly parse HTML. As I have answered in HTML-and-regex questions here so many times before, the use of regex will not allow you to consume HTML. Regular expressions are a tool that is insufficiently sophisticated to understand the constructs employed by HTML. HTML is not a regular language and hence cannot be parsed by regular expressions. Regex queries are not equipped to break down HTML into its meaningful parts. so many times but it is not getting to me. Even enhanced irregular regular expressions as used by Perl are not up to the task of parsing HTML. You will never make me crack. HTML is a language of sufficient complexity that it cannot be parsed by regular expressions. Even Jon Skeet cannot parse HTML using regular expressions. Every time you attempt to parse HTML with regular expressions, the unholy child weeps the blood of virgins, and Russian hackers pwn your webapp. Parsing HTML with regex summons tainted souls into the realm of the living. HTML and regex go together like love, marriage, and ritual infanticide. The <center> cannot hold it is too late. The force of regex and HTML together in the same conceptual space will destroy your mind like so much watery putty. If you parse HTML with regex you are giving in to Them and their blasphemous ways which doom us all to inhuman toil for the One whose Name cannot be expressed in the Basic Multilingual Plane, he comes. HTML-plus-regexp will liquify the n​erves of the sentient whilst you observe, your psyche withering in the onslaught of horror. Rege̿̔̉x-based HTML parsers are the cancer that is killing StackOverflow it is too late it is too late we cannot be saved the trangession of a chi͡ld ensures regex will consume all living tissue (except for HTML which it cannot, as previously prophesied) dear lord help us how can anyone survive this scourge using regex to parse HTML has doomed humanity to an eternity of dread torture and security holes using regex as a tool to process HTML establishes a breach between this world and the dread realm of c͒ͪo͛ͫrrupt entities (like SGML entities, but more corrupt) a mere glimpse of the world of reg​ex parsers for HTML will ins tantly transport a programmer’s consciousness into a world of ceaseless screaming, he comes, the pestilent slithy regex-infection wil​l devour your HT ML parser, application and existence for all time like Visual Basic only worse he comes he comes do not fi ght he com̡e̶s, ̕h̵i s un̨ho͞ly radiańcé destro҉ying all enli̍̈́̂̈́ghtenment, HTML tags lea͠ki̧n͘g fr̶ǫm ̡yo​͟ur eye͢s̸ ̛l̕ik͏e liq uid pain, the song of re̸gular exp​ression parsing will exti nguish the voices of mor​tal man from the sp here I can see it can you see ̲͚̖͔̙î̩́t̲͎̩̱͔́̋̀ it is beautiful t he final snuffing of the lie​s of Man ALL IS LOŚ͖̩͇̗̪̏̈́T ALL I​S LOST the pon̷y he comes he c̶̮omes he comes the ich or permeates all MY FACE MY FACE ᵒh god no NO NOO̼O​O NΘ stop the an​*̶͑̾̾​̅ͫ͏̙̤g͇̫͛͆̾ͫ̑͆l͖͉̗̩̳̟̍ͫͥͨe̠̅s ͎a̧͈͖r̽̾̈́͒͑e n ot rè̑ͧ̌aͨl̘̝̙̃ͤ͂̾̆ ZA̡͊͠͝LGΌ ISͮ̂҉̯͈͕̹̘̱ TO͇̹̺ͅƝ̴ȳ̳ TH̘Ë͖́̉ ͠P̯͍̭O̚​N̐Y̡ H̸̡̪̯ͨ͊̽̅̾̎Ȩ̬̩̾͛ͪ̈́̀́͘ ̶̧̨̱̹̭̯ͧ̾ͬC̷̙̲̝͖ͭ̏ͥͮ͟Oͮ͏̮̪̝͍M̲̖͊̒ͪͩͬ̚̚͜Ȇ̴̟̟͙̞ͩ͌͝S̨̥̫͎̭ͯ̿̔̀ͅ”

The rant had me literally rolling on the ground convulsing in laughter. Good Stuff. Thank you Jeff Atwood, for showing me this rant!

P.S: I have some posts lined up, so don’t go deleting me from your RSS just yet . From now on, I’ll try to keep it one post per week!

Warning: This Video may contain strong language. There are also scenes of violence, people’s genitals being ripped off and their toe nails being pulled out in slow motion. Then there’s a scene where you can see EVERYTHING – and even more! Be aware, be alert, be careful.

AVVENTURA CON UN TRAVESTITO

In faccia era più liscio della cera
che barba s’era fatto quella sera
era na bomba  infatti me sò detto
nun so più io sì nun la porto a letto

tutto sembrava for che n’travestito
perciò come nò stronzo so’ imboccato
credenno pure a tutte quelle scuse
quanno me disse “No, c’ho le mie cose”

Pè conquistarla io la rispettavo
aspetto che guarisca me dicevo
a questa si che je la dò na botta
questa nun è la solita mignotta

e m’atteggiavo a gran conquistatore
questa la porterei pure all’altare
così partii con po’ de tenerezze
mai fatte n’vita mia tante carezze

co’ n bacio n’bocca jo mozzato er fiato.
Solo ar ricordo …. quanto ho vomitato.
Pensai chissà se la  rivedo ancora
nun farei mejo a fammela stasera?

E sì,  me dissi, e intanto m’eccitai
mejo indisposta mò … che sana mai
e ormai spasimavo dalla voja
me feci strappà pure la vestaja

nun ce vedevo tanto ero partito
verso un traguardo fatto de peccato
ma quanno je nfilai la mano sotto
co’ la violenza che c’ha solo n’matto

restai de ghiaccio ‘n mezzo a quelle cosce
la mani mia acchiappò du cose mosce
mai viste così grosse ‘n vita mia
du’ palle come li mortacci sua

sopra la mano mia paralizzata
pe’ quella ‘nfame meta conquistata
se tanto me dà tanto pensai ar resto
e ritirai la mano presto presto

amo scherzato – dissi – pìa quer pacco
se no je dò du carci e te lo stacco
me ritrovai sdraiato sur tappeto
tutto abbracciato ancora a quer cornuto

oltre alla rabbia d’esseme eccitato
c’iavevo l’occhi der rincojonito
bella figura feci co’ me stesso
robba d’annà in esilio dentro ar cesso

se rivestì de corsa la signora
guardannome co l’occhi de paura
e scappò via! me vergognai parecchio
e cominciai a fà li conti co’ lo specchio

puntai lo sguardo e m’accusai “a Vincenzo”
nun sei ‘n conquistatore, sei no stronzo
speriamo che sta cosa nun se sappia
tu e er travestito ..sai che coppia!

me venne n’mente pure er matrimonio
sai che piattini….. “palle ar pinzimonio”
le donne l’hai nventate te? a sonato!!
er primo travestito t’ha fregato

la donna, tu guardannoje n’molare
sapevi se ciaveva n’bel sedere
ancora a ste’ stronzate sei legato
scenni dar parco er pubblico è già uscito
nun c’è rimasto manco un travestito

te disse “caro no, ci ho le mie cose”
e tu pensavi ar ciclo d’ogni mese
invece le sue cose erano quelle
che vorgarmente noi chiamamo palle

tu vedi er sole e trovi la tempesta
a vorte è lunedì e te sembra festa
la vita è un dubbio tutto da scoprire
quello sò maschi oppure sò signore?
chi vò la verità deve toccare.

Last night at work, I was telling Jackie of an interesting pizza delivery one night when I lived in my last apartment. I should have written about it when it happened, but I don’t remember if I had this blog then.

So, one night I place an order with PJ’s – of course – and when they brought the pizza there was a tag on the side with the information: what kind of pizza it was, when the order was called in and who prepared it. Where they list the name, however, I’m pretty sure they only have space for a few of the letters of the person’s name, which brings me to the discovery….

Who prepared it? Well according to the information on the tag…
“Your order was prepared by Christ.”

My thoughts?
“This pizza’s gonna be amazing!”

BMW has moved from cars into the world of barbeques! They’ve created a barbeque based on their famous kidney-grille featured on the front of their cars. Made out of cast iron, it probably wouldn’t score too highly in pedestrian protection tests, but while it would rip legs to shread, it’s pretty good at cooking massive pieces of meat!

It’s a one off for now, but BMW have said there is a chance they may actually make the grill and sell it through their range of branded accessories.

I suppose during a recession car makers must do what they can to make money, but somehow I can’t see this outselling George Foreman.. What’s next? Maybe a dip tray shaped like the Mercedes logo, or wings based on the Mini badge?

Yesterday, we were driving to Costco to pick up pies for Thanksgiving.  I had woke in the middle of the night with a fever and spent the morning in bed trying to get better.  By 2, I had given up hope of that and decided that those pies weren’t going to wait for a healthy me.  We piled into the car… the kids looking adorable and me, looking like death warmed over.  I felt like pooh but couldn’t help but have my spirits raised when I heard this conversation unfold.

Emma: “Gerrit, I need to talk to you about your ears”

Gerrit: “What?”

Emma: “You know you don’t really have elf ears, right?”

Gerrit: “Yes I do!”

Now, this was news to me.  I hadn’t heard anything about elf ears yet but apparently, he’d mentioned it to her before.

Emma: ” But Gerrit, elf ears go up to here.”

Gerrit: “Nuh ugh, not baby elves ears.”

Emma: “Right, but you’re not a baby.”

Gerrit: “Well, not kid elves ears too.  And I’m a kid.”

Emma: “But Gerrit, elf ears are pointy at the top too.  Your ears curve around like mine and mommies.”

Gerrit: ” Well, mine point a little.”

Emma: “No Gerrit.  Yours are curved like this” moving her finger and drawing in the air.  “All people’s ears curve like that and elf ears are pointy not curvy.”

Gerrit is obviously not liking how this debate is going so he decides the diversion tactic…

Gerrit: “Emma, it’s elves not elf.  Mommy, Emma’s saying it wrong.  She said elf and it’s elves.”

I jump in to explain the proper use of elf vs. elves.  Then remove myself from the conversation.

Emma: “Gerrit, you really don’t have elf ears.”

Gerrit: “Yes, I do.  Stop talking about my ears, Emma.”

Emma: “But Gerrit, if you had elf ears you would be an elf.  Then Santa would take you for rides in his sled.  But he doesn’t cause you’re not!”

Gerrit, getting pretty upset now: “Emma, I said stop talking about my ears!  I asked you 2 times now!!”

The whole scene quickly took a nose dive from there.  I stopped my silent laughter when Emma told me (as punishment for his yelling at her) that next time they have a sleepover, she didn’t want to sleep next to Gerrit.  He started crying because he thought that was so mean.  I played the role of mediator, brushing aside the whole issue of elf ears.  But would it be so bad for him to believe he’s just a tiny part elf?  Maybe he thinks Legolas is his real father

Here’s a bit of fun. The Mirror have revealed what cars some of the top footballers would be. Here are a few of my favourites:

Wayne Rooney  would be a Ford Ka, as it was his first car and he’s even named his son after it. Well, almost.

Ryan Giggs would be a Jaguar E Type as he has appreciated with age.

All the England goalkeepers would be circus clown cars with all the bits that fall off, because they are all so error-prone.

Javier Mascherano would be a Mini Cooper -  small, but perfectly formed, and a little fighter.

I think I prefer David Beckham's legs...

Frank Lampard would be a Ford Mondeo. Scoffed at by many, but totally reliable – he never lets you down.

Rio Ferdinand would be a Peugeot 206 GTi. A winner when it first came out, but now looking its age.

And Peter Crouch could only be a stretch limo. Bless him.

I have to say I agree with them for the most part, what do you think?

if this doesn’t make you laugh and cry at the same time, nothing will and you have a stone where your heart should be. SHAME ON YOU. and yes, at 2:54 that IS Janice. Now tell me i’m wrong.

I read a funny story last week about a man in Australia who went out to get a pint of milk, got lost and ended up taking a 600km detour. Eight hours after setting out he asked for directions! Typical bloke. He told the police he liked to drive and  wasn’t concerned about being lost.

It reminds me of the time I was in Crete with my boyfriend. We were driving from Paleochora to Panormos. He was driving our little rented Ford Ka and I was directing. Unfortunately I had forgotten my glasses and couldn’t really read the road signs (and what with them being in Greek it was quite difficult anyway!) So this led to us taking the wrong turn and unfortunately we ended updriving through the White mountains, driving on windy single lane tracks on the mountain edge, with only goats and 80 year old farmers for company. Even they were looking at us like – what the hell are you doing here?! It wasn’t the typical tourist route – and we were obviously tourists in our hire car and pale complexions!

It all worked out ok in the end though, we finally reached a village after about 3 hours with a hand-written sign to Heraklion and everntually we came out at a main road! It was a bit scary for a while though, what with us knowing only one word of Greek – ‘kalimera’ (good morning), and the petrol gauge getting lower and lower..

Next time I’ll remember my glasses!

See, this is why the internet was invented.