London kind and funny
I was in the Bank earlier.
The Woman behind the Counter started singing “Downtown”.
I thought to myself , “What a Peculiar Clerk”.
Whatever you do, don’t drink the varnish.
It’ll be a sad end – but a beautiful finish.
1 day, 19 hours
I’ve decided to take up fell-walking in a bid to get fitter.
It’s going well so far, last night I fell twice walking back from the pub.
2 days, 20 hours
I’ve just read a book on how dramatically footballers’ wives lose their looks once their husbands retire.
It’s a real WAGS to witches story.
3 days, 19 hours
So a woman was caught at an airport trying to smuggle three kilo’s of cocaine in her bra..
Talk about a drugs bust.
4 days, 19 hours
What happens when frogs park illegally?
They get toad.
1 week, 1 day
Borrow money from pessimists – they don’t expect it back
1 week, 2 days