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I can pinpoint the exact moment I broke up with the NBA.

I was in the basement of my parents house. It was the NBA on NBC. It was the year after my Milwaukee Bucks got jobbed out in Game 7 (Putting Sam Cassell in foul trouble allowed for Allen Iverson going… more →

The Grand National Championships

I can pinpoint the exact moment I broke up with the NBA.

Andrew wrote 1 year ago: I was in the basement of my parents house. It was the NBA on NBC. It was the year after my Milwaukee … more →

Tags: *Sanjaya Wipe*, Analysisesims!, Conspiracy Theories, Douchebaggery, DUN DUN DUNNNNNNNNNH!, EVERYTHING I SAY IS IMPORTANT!, Funny! Not Funny!, Morality, Nerd Alert.

If you were in Cub Scouts you remember,"A Time To Tell"

Elvi Patterson! wrote 1 year ago: Simply put it’s the best educational and informative movie about child sexual abuse ever. BEST … more →

Tags: *Sanjaya Wipe*, Analysisesims!, Conspiracy Theories, Cutting and pasting is hard., DOOOOOOOD..., Douchebaggery, DUN DUN DUNNNNNNNNNH!, EVERYTHING I SAY IS IMPORTANT!, Funny! Not Funny!

I don't care, I don't care, I don't care, care, care anymore.

Andrew wrote 1 year ago: If you’ve read any sort of a sportsblog today, you know that Deadspin Editor Will Leitch got a … more →

Tags: Analysisesims!, Bloggers who are better than me and I hate them for it., Bork Bork Bork, Douchebaggery, DUN DUN DUNNNNNNNNNH!, EVERYTHING I SAY IS IMPORTANT!, Funny! Not Funny!, Hecklings!, Mainstream Media is Easily Bullshitted

Those of you who were here from the beginning know about Brandi Hawbaker — 3 comments

Andrew wrote 1 year ago: If you don’t? Here’s a cliffs notes. Reasonably attractive, but mentally disturbed poker … more →

Tags: *Sanjaya Wipe*, Analysisesims!, Douchebaggery, DUN DUN DUNNNNNNNNNH!, EVERYTHING I SAY IS IMPORTANT!, George Michael Hype Machine, Hecklings!, MUR-DER?, Old Photo Theatre!

Dear Old People Who Hate The Blogosphere?

Andrew wrote 1 year ago: If you wish to break the internet? There is only one thing you have to do. Brady Quinn must promote … more →

Tags: *Sanjaya Wipe*, Analysisesims!, Bork Bork Bork, Bow Chicka Wa Wa, Brady, Douchebaggery, DUN DUN DUNNNNNNNNNH!, Funny! Not Funny!

Do you wish for an ability to drop Draft Knowledge? (Part 1) — 6 comments

Andrew wrote 1 year ago: We are helpful people at The Grand National Championships. We like you. And when you’re gonna … more →

Tags: Analysisesims!, Backdoor Gump Luck, Brady, Cake Rocks The Party That Rocks The Body, Cutting and pasting is hard., DOOOOOOOD..., Double T, Douchebaggery, DUN DUN DUNNNNNNNNNH!

As I lay diabetic.

Elvi Patterson! wrote 1 year ago: Gather round kids,  the end times are fast approaching.  The winner of this year’s NCAA Tourna … more →

Tags: *Sanjaya Wipe*, Analysisesims!, Conspiracy Theories, Cutting and pasting is hard., Funny! Not Funny!, Mainstream Media is Easily Bullshitted, Morality, Nerd Alert., The Blogger gets an ego!

Now is the winter of our discontent! — 1 comment

Elvi Patterson! wrote 1 year ago: OH NO! RUN! There is a reason why I titled this post with a quote from Shakespeare/The Simpsons.  I … more →

Tags: Analysisesims!, Boring Homerism, Conspiracy Theories, Cutting and pasting is hard., DOOOOOOOD..., EVERYTHING I SAY IS IMPORTANT!, FAVRAH!, Funny! Not Funny!, I'm Not Ready For The Football!

In the land of the shaven, the bearded man is king! — 1 comment

Elvi Patterson! wrote 1 year ago: Ever since I have grown a beard that is the envy of every 8th grade boy, my sixth sense or as I call … more →

Tags: *Sanjaya Wipe*, Analysisesims!, BAYSBALL!, Conspiracy Theories, Cutting and pasting is hard., DOOOOOOOD..., DUN DUN DUNNNNNNNNNH!, EVERYTHING I SAY IS IMPORTANT!, Funny! Not Funny!

Beard Watch 2008! — 2 comments

Elvi Patterson! wrote 1 year ago: As my beard grows in thicker and thicker; I have noticed that my beard is beginning to show it … more →

Tags: *Sanjaya Wipe*, Bow Chicka Wa Wa, Conspiracy Theories, Cutting and pasting is hard., DOOOOOOOD..., DUN DUN DUNNNNNNNNNH!, EVERYTHING I SAY IS IMPORTANT!, Funny! Not Funny!, The Moustache of Evil

Behold! Classy Women doing Stuff! — 15 comments

Elvi Patterson! wrote 1 year ago: Do you know who this is? If you do, you’re probably a huge sports fan.  For those who aren … more →

Tags: *Sanjaya Wipe*, Analysisesims!, Bow Chicka Wa Wa, Conspiracy Theories, Cutting and pasting is hard., DOOOOOOOD..., EVERYTHING I SAY IS IMPORTANT!, Funny! Not Funny!, Mainstream Media is Easily Bullshitted

Let's keep it in the family.

Elvi Patterson! wrote 1 year ago: McNamee, Roger Clemen’s trainer; may have told congress that he injected Roger Clemen’s … more →

Tags: *Sanjaya Wipe*, BAYSBALL!, Bow Chicka Wa Wa, Bud Selig, Conspiracy Theories, Cutting and pasting is hard., DOOOOOOOD..., Douchebaggery, DUN DUN DUNNNNNNNNNH!

How to make enemies and irriate friends.

Elvi Patterson! wrote 1 year ago: Recently, Domino’s pizza has combined forces with ESPN to create ESPN Shorts! Read all about i … more →

Tags: *Sanjaya Wipe*, Cutting and pasting is hard., DOOOOOOOD..., EVERYTHING I SAY IS IMPORTANT!, Funny! Not Funny!, George Michael Hype Machine, The WorldWide Leader, You sold out!, Youtubers

We have your offensive starting line-up for this year's PUPPY BOWL! — 4 comments

Elvi Patterson! wrote 1 year ago: Big, big props to Animal Planet! They’re the saviours of awesome! These brillant folks started … more →

Tags: *Sanjaya Wipe*, Analysisesims!, Cutting and pasting is hard., DOOOOOOOD..., Douchebaggery, DUN DUN DUNNNNNNNNNH!, EVERYTHING I SAY IS IMPORTANT!, Funny! Not Funny!, I'm Not Ready For The Football!

WE HAVE BREAKING PUPPY BOWL 4 NEWS!!!!!! — 3 comments

Elvi Patterson! wrote 1 year ago: As many are aware.  Animal Planet’s Puppy Bowl is the can’t miss event of the year!  We … more →

Tags: *Sanjaya Wipe*, Conspiracy Theories, Cutting and pasting is hard., DOOOOOOOD..., Douchebaggery, EVERYTHING I SAY IS IMPORTANT!, Funny! Not Funny!, I'm Not Ready For The Football!, LOL MILESTONES!

WE HAVE BREAKING PUPPY BOWL 4 NEWS!!!!!! — 3 comments

Elvi Patterson! wrote 1 year ago: As many are aware.  Animal Planet’s Puppy Bowl is the can’t miss event of the year!  We … more →

Tags: *Sanjaya Wipe*, Conspiracy Theories, Cutting and pasting is hard., DOOOOOOOD..., Douchebaggery, EVERYTHING I SAY IS IMPORTANT!, Funny! Not Funny!, I'm Not Ready For The Football!, LOL MILESTONES!

The Duality of man is always perplexing. So let's watch movies instead! — 3 comments

Elvi Patterson! wrote 1 year ago: This is really quite simple.  I am going to review a few of Hollywood’s greatest movies.  Why? … more →

Tags: *Sanjaya Wipe*, Analysisesims!, Conspiracy Theories, Cutting and pasting is hard., Disneyholerics, DOOOOOOOD..., EVERYTHING I SAY IS IMPORTANT!, Funny! Not Funny!, Hecklings!

Finally, something good has come out of the BCS National Championship! — 2 comments

Elvi Patterson! wrote 1 year ago: Courtesy of AWFUL ANNOUNCING! JaMarcus Russell and His Amazing Technicolor COSBY PONCHO! This is jus … more →

Tags: *Sanjaya Wipe*, Cutting and pasting is hard., DOOOOOOOD..., EVERYTHING I SAY IS IMPORTANT!, Funny! Not Funny!, Hungry like the wolf, LOL MILESTONES!, Mainstream Media is Easily Bullshitted, Morality

I like strippers when they don't objective themselves in public. — 2 comments

Elvi Patterson! wrote 1 year ago: Happy 2008 everyone! I know I’ve been acting like your deadbeat dad on a bender after getting … more →

Tags: Douchebaggery, Conspiracy Theories, You sold out!, Mainstream Media is Easily Bullshitted, Bullshit, The Blogger gets an ego!, Morality, Hecklings!, *Sanjaya Wipe*


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