A Brandy Alexander is a drink.  A “foofie martini”, if you will.  To make a Brandy Alexander, you fill a martini shaker ½ full with ice, then pour in 1½ ounces brandy, 1 ounce dark crème de cacao and 1 ounce half-and-half cream.  Then you shake the shit out of it and top it with some nutmeg.

Jim made me a Brandy Alexander while I did the prep for Lauren’s Cashew Chicken (it’s really, really good and as quick to prepare as Lauren says it is; I added 2 diced bell peppers and some diced sweet onion at the end to bulk it up a bit).

Lauren's Cashew Chicken (with peppers & onions)

I just happened to have some whole nutmeg on hand, so I pulled out my rasp and blessed my foofie-tini with some freshly grated nutmeg. And the result was… DELICIOUS!  I must admit to being completely surprised.  I thought it would taste, well, gak.  I’m not a huge fan of crème de cacao, light or dark.  Since my liquor store doesn’t sell crème de cacao in micky size (who drinks this stuff?), I am now the proud owner of a GIANT bottle of dark crème de cacao (less one ounce).  Any suggestions, folks?  Glazed chicken, maybe?

Okay, back to my BA.  Very, very good.  In fact, the crème de cacao might get a little help along: I would have one of these again!  It was surprisingly refreshing.  The brandy was the strongest note but it was (also surprisingly) quite light-tasting.

Go ahead.  Give it a try. I think you’ll be pleasantly surprised!

Brandy Alexander with freshly grated nutmeg

In case you were curious, some wiki-nerd has collected a number of popular media references to BAs (couldn’t decide: is the plural “Brandy Alexanders” or “Brandies Alexander”?  Discuss).

On other notes, I’m still waiting for my niece or nephew to make his/her grand appearance.  2 days overdue and counting.  Will keep you posted.

xx Eva

*Gahk: serpent worms best served cold. Yeah, I know that.

Illustrations by Koren Shadmi – mashKULTURE.

Al decennia lang wordt er op verschillende wijze gekeken naar de ‘achterblijvers’ in onze maatschappij. Zo schreven in 1995 Aart Hendriks, toen werkzaam bij de Sectie Gezondheidsrecht van de Vrije Universiteit van Amsterdam en Matthijs Vermaat, toen advocaat in de hoofdstad en juridisch medewerker bij de stichting De Ombudsman te Hilversum, een uitvoerig stuk over mensen ‘…met een vlekje’, zoals ze dat beschreven in het Nederlands Juristenblad, jaargang 70, 27 januari 1995. Vermaat en Hendriks schreven eigenlijk over dezelfde mensen als Marcel van Dam en Hans Heijnen lieten zien in de documentaire “De Onrendabelen”. Mensen die toen ‘mensen met een vlekje’ heetten en nu de ‘onrendabelen’

In 1980 leefde 4% van de Nederlandse bevolking onder de armoedegrens. Vandaag de dag is da 11%…

Uit de rechtse hoek wordt veelal gesteld dat het je eigen schuld is als je onder die omstandigheden leeft in Nederland, vandaar de toepassende titel van het aan te bevelen programma om onbevangen te bekijken, tenminste als het u interesseert.

Het neo-liberalisme wil maximale winst behalen door de mensen maximaal in te zetten tegen een zo laag mogelijke salaris. Uitbuitingen, zoals in de beging jaren van de 20ste eeuw was meer een regel dan een uitzondering totdat de arbeiders zich gingen organiseren in vakbonden en politieke partijen.

Maar vandaag de dag is er eigenlijk niet veel veranderd: ‘onrendabelen’, ‘mensen met een vlekje’, hoewel, …ze worden steeds meer beschouwd als parasieten van de werkende maatschappij. De overheid zit ook met deze mensen in hun maag, wijzigingen van de WAO, de AWBZ moesten de instroom draconisch aanpakken. Wie nog kon ademen kon nog altijd dienst doen als ‘bonsaiboompjeskweker’ of ‘loempiavouwer’… je had, terminaal of niet, nog enige ‘restcapaciteit’ zoals dat formeel heette.

Natuurlijk werd er ook gesjoemeld. Mensen die in de WAO zaten en ‘niks’ konden doen,maar dagelijks ergens bijklusten… Ook werkgevers dumpten massaal werknemers in de de WAO, met goedvinden en medeweten van het GAK (wat nu UWV is).

De regels werden aangescherpt, de controles opgevoerd, en mongoloïde mensen werden evengoed opgeroepen om te kijken hoe het ervoor stond met de arbeidscapaciteit, zoals ook zij in de jaren daarvoor werden opgeroepen voor de dienstplicht… ! Een doktersverklaring was niet voldoende, men moest op de kazerne komen waar een arts dan formeel vaststelde dan de jongeman in kwestie dienstongeschikt was! Het staat mij nog voor de ogen dat een moeder hels van woede een officier te ‘woord’ stond op z’n Amsterdams hoe ze het in hun botte kop konden krijgen om ‘Jaap’ voor dienstplicht op te roepen… terwijl ze al een brief had gestuurd met een verklaring van een arts. Maar regel is regel, zo werd ons geleerd!

Er zijn ook mensen die beweren dat er geen armoede kan zijn in Nederland. Zeker als ze dat gaan vergelijken van mensen bijvoorbeeld in Afrika of India, Bangladesh en andere ontwikkelingslanden. Ze vergaten telkens dat je hier in Nederland, arm of rijk, je vaste lasten hebt aan huur, energie en andere zaken… wat dan nog resteerde aan je loon of uitkering kon je besteden aan ‘eten’ … kinderen werden al vroeg aan het werk gestuurd om geldelijke bijdragen (kostgeld) te leveren aan het huishouden.

De privatisering van de gezondheidszorg zorgde er ook nog eens voor dat mensen weliswaar over een basiszorgpakket kunnen beschikken, maar dat er geen mogelijkheid was en nog steeds is voor een grote groep mensen, om aanvullende verzekerd te zijn.

Toenemende regelgeving, maar ook het decentraliseren van wat nu de WMO heet, leidde en leidt ertoe dat er wel degelijk rechtsongelijkheid bestond en bestaat in Nederland: in de ene gemeente krijg je wel een booster, en in de andere hooguit een looprek! Het wiel moest opnieuw uitgevonden worden, en dat voor elke 450+ gemeenten in Nederland. Wat die decentralisatie-operatie feitelijk de gemeenschap heeft gekost is nooit officieel bekend gemaakt, maar het gaat om miljarden! Nog steeds kampen tal van gemeenten met de feitelijke uitvoering van de WMO, die in 2007 van kracht werd. Komt men als gemeente financiën tekort (het Rijk verstrekt een hoeveelheid geld naar ratio van de gemeenteomvang en het aantal historische gevallen van mensen met een handicap of chronische ziekte), dan moet vanuit de algemene reserves de tekorten worden aangevuld… Maar de WMO is niets meer dan een bezuinigingsmaatregel, die qua verantwoordelijkheid bij de rijksoverheid ligt, maar bij de gemeentelijke overheid. De gemeente werd een instelling waarvan uit zorg wordt verstrekt, in welke vorm dan ook, of op zijn minst de regie in handen werd gelegd.

We zouden verder kunnen gaan… maar daar zit u niet op te wachten. In het kort komt het hier op neer: mensen met een ‘vlekje’, de ‘onrendabelen’ werden en worden willens en wetens achtergesteld omdat de maatschappij, de samenleving daar niet meer voor wil betalen… En het is in dat opzicht juist door te stellen dat men heeft geprobeerd een stuiver te besparen, maar nu voor een euro aan bijkomende kosten zit!

————————————————————————————

‘Eigen schuld, dikke bult’, eenmalig wetenschappelijk discussie-programma met Paul Witteman op vrijdag 27 november 2009 om 20.50 uur op Nederland 2.

Door een verhard politiek klimaat moeten ‘achterblijvers’ in onze samenleving zich sinds de jaren tachtig geschikt maken voor de prestatiemaatschappij. Niet alleen door hun vaardigheden te vergroten, maar ook door hun gedrag aan te passen. Maar ontwikkelingen in de wetenschap, met name in de neurobiologie en de sociale wetenschappen, laten juist zien dat vaardigheden goeddeels zijn vastgelegd door aanleg en opvoeding in de vroegste jeugd. Wordt van ‘achterblijvers’ in de maatschappij dus niet het onmogelijke gevraagd?

Over die vraag discussiëren toonaangevende wetenschappers – onder leiding van Paul Witteman – in het VARA-programma ‘Eigen schuld, dikke bult’, op vrijdag 27 november om 20.50 uur bij de VARA op Nederland 2. Dat is een week ná de VARA-film ‘De Onrendabelen’ van Marcel van Dam en Hans Heijnen, ook over het thema van ‘achterblijvers’ in de maatschappij, op vrijdag 20 november op Nederland 2.

‘Eigen schuld, dikke bult’ geeft vanuit wetenschappelijk perspectief inzicht in de vermeende eigen verantwoordelijkheid van mensen ten aanzien van hun handelen. Beslissingen worden onbewust genomen in onze hersenen, die zijn bepaald door de ouderlijke genen én de ervaringen die iemand in zijn leven heeft opgedaan, waarbij ervaringen uit de vroege kinderjaren zwaar meewegen.

In ‘Eigen schuld, dikke bult’ ontvangt Paul Witteman de volgende wetenschappers:
• Dick Swaab, hoogleraar neurobiologie aan de Universiteit van Amsterdam;
• Theo Doreleijers, hoogleraar kinder- en jeugdpsychiatrie aan de Vrije Universiteit Amsterdam en hoogleraar forensische psychiatrie aan de Universiteit van Leiden;
• Bram Orobio de Castro, hoogleraar pedagogie en ontwikkelingspsychologie aan de Universiteit van Utrecht;
• Tof Thissen, ex-voorzitter van Divosa, de vereniging van managers op het terrein van werk, inkomen en sociale vraagstukken.

‘Eigen schuld, dikke bult’ wordt – met publiek – opgenomen in Studio Plantage in Amsterdam. De eindredactie is in handen van Maarten van den Heuvel.

Een week vóór ‘Eigen schuld, dikke bult’, op vrijdag 20 november, was de VARA-film ‘De Onrendabelen’ te zien. Deze film, gemaakt op initiatief van Marcel van Dam en geregisseerd door filmmaker Hans Heijnen, wil een duidelijker gezicht geven aan de groeiende groep mensen die niet kan voldoen aan de strenge eisen van onze prestatiemaatschappij. Vanwege de wieg waarin ze geboren zijn, of door een tekort aan intellectuele bagage of andere vaardigheden, leven zij aan de rand van de samenleving.

Zo ontstaat een tweeluik – een film én een wetenschappelijk discussieprogramma – over het thema van de ‘achterblijvers’ in de maatschappij.

‘Eigen schuld, dikke bult’, eenmalig wetenschappelijk discussie-programma met Paul Witteman, 60 minuten, op vrijdag 27 november 2009 om 20.50 uur op Nederland 2.

Some nights, in the pitch black darkness, I close my eyes and see the vainglorious smirk of that awful little Play-Doh boy, devoid of all sympathy, and wearing his blue beret kind of sideways. Maybe that’s how you wear a beret. I’m not sure. But it’s definitely dumb looking. In this desolate vision I hear the blonde terror call out to me, longing to be in my digestive system where it can inflict the havoc of 10,000 pizza bagels.  Then I am roused to consciousness in a cold sweat, screaming like Nathan Lane at his worst, and then gagging ever so dryly. It takes me a few seconds, but I always remember: it’s 2009. I don’t eat Play-Doh that much anymore.

The tummy aches are mostly over, buddy. You’re gonna make it after all.

Play-Doh Pete was a cruel mistress back then. I learned the hard way but I didn’t have to learn it twice. After that, if you think I wanted my messy molding material from a company that can’t even spell the word “playschool” correctly then you are sorely mistaken, friend. I would much rather play with a substance from a company that makes up words willy-nilly because I’m watching Hey Dude and Salute Your Shorts, and a child who knows where his loyalties lie is a child to be reckoned with.

Mom, Dad, I want GAK!

Nickelodeon and Mattel released Gak in 1992 off the success of the show Double Dare. Gak instantly became a huge seller as it combined children’s two favorite things: 1.) Slimy, yucky-feeling play mucus and 2.) Fart noises. You could utilize Gak in a number of ways including throwing it, pretending it’s snot, holding it, and squeezing it! And when the pressure of the science fair became too heavy, you could even roll Gak into stress ball that would emit flatulent sounds when you squeezed it. Can you think of a more
hilarious way to relieve anxiety (besides Margaret Cho)?

I’m still unsure as to how kids got Gak because parents had to buy it for them and one thing is certain about the Nick compound…parents DID NOT get Gak. How could they, what with their tax forms and Christopher Cross records? Parents just seemed oblivious to the several minutes of happiness Gak delivered, especially when it leaves grease stains on the wallpaper or ends up mushed in the carpet. I’m sorry, Mom. OKAY? SORRY! OKAY?! I guess I’ll just never have fun again.

Well, the brainigaks over at Nickelodeon/Mattel could have retired on the success of their creation and moved into that summer home in Weinerville they’ve always dreamt about, but nay said those noble slime slingers. They researched when kids play with Gak the least, discovered it was at nighttime when kids are supposed to be sleeping (yeah right!), and advanced Gaknology to solve the quandary.

Nickelodeon Gak-in-the-Dark, thankyaverymuch.

There was also Nickelodeon Solar Gak (changed color in the sun) and Nickelodeon Smell My Gak. That was the Gak that came in a series of different odors. Aromas included hot dog, baby powder, flowers, vanilla ice cream, pickles, and sunscreen. I had the butter popcorn flavor. I couldn’t believe how close to kind of smelling like popcorn it really was!

You might be saying to yourself, “Sure, Gak is an amazing, purposeful product, but I’m not sold. How could some old mooncalf (and appreciated reader) like myself have taken advantage of Gak’s greatness to the absolute pinnacle of enjoyment? Was there some sort of activity set that would have manifested all my wildest hopes?”

There’s the Gak Inflator–Pump that bastard into a big Gak bubble until POP! If you’re not having fun, then you’re dead!

How’z about the Gak Vac–If you guessed ‘vac’ was short for vacuum, you’re nearly right! Suck that Gak up and then squirt it back out again for some reason!

Of course there’s the Gak Copier–Magically write on Gak to give your friends Gak messages that say Gak things!

And for all you science-minded Gaksters, don’t forget about Magnetic Gak–It’s probably useful. Enjoy, nerds!

Now, if you’re still not convinced that Gak ain’t wack, just check out this laundry list of other Nickeolodeon materials inspired by Gak:

Goooze                                                                                                                                    Floam                                                                                                                                 Skweeez                                                                                                                                  Smud                                                                                                                                    Squand                                                                                                                                    Zzand

I hope you’re happy now.

Ini cerita nyata di Jepang….oops kalau gak kuat lihat gambar ini lebih baik lewati aja artikel ini…

Seorang kakek, Shota Fujiwara dari Gifuprefecture yg sering mengeluh sakit kepala membandel adalah penggemar berat makanan khas Jepang SUSHI & SASHIMI.  Kegemarannya ini sudah dimulai sejak dia muda sebagaimana layaknya warga Jepang lainnya. Namun pada usia lanjutnya kini, dia mengalami sakit kepala yg akut& hebat dalam 3 tahun terakhir, yg praktis membuatnya kesulitan utk bekerja & menjalani hidup dgn normal. dan sakitnya itu telah membuat kulit batok kepalanya terus membesar. Dan makin terlihat seperti jenong pada ikan Lohan…. Dia telah kehilangankemampuan psikomotoric- nya sejak 3 tahun lalu. Untuk mengatasi hal itu, dia pergi ke rumah sakit dan menjalani pemeriksaan CT-scan & X-ray utk memastikan penyebabnya. Dokter yg menanganinya menjadi sangat terkejut karena didapati tampilan benda-benda kecil aneh dibawah kulit kepalanya namun masih diluar tempurung otaknya.

Dokter kemudian melakukan anastesi lokal dan memutuskan membedah kecil kulit kepalanya, dan……..kemudian ditemukan penyebab utamanya. Disitu ditemukan sarang ulat. Sungguh mengerikan. Kemudian diputuskan utk melakukan operasi bedah kulit kepala secara total utk memastikan ulat-ulat tersebut bisa dibersihkan dan infeksi dibawah kulit batok kepalanya bisa disembuhkan.

Jadi, BERHATI-HATILAH MEMAKAN SUSHI & SASHIMI (IKAN MENTAH,
GURITA MENTAH , CUMI MENTAH , UDANG MENTAH dsb

Ulat seperti yg didapati pada kepala Shota Fujiwara, adalah berasal dari parasit yg biasa didapat pada tubuh ikan , seafood mentah baik ikan laut maupun ikan ait tawar. Ulat parasit & telurnya hanya bisa dimatikan dgn melalui proses pemasakan degan panas tinggi (digoreng, dipanggang matang atau direbus mendidih) atau dgn pembekuan -10 degC s/d -20 degC selama lebih dari 1 minggu. Karena itu ingat-ingatlah, untuk memastikan konsumsi ikan ? seafood & daging hanya yg sudah melalui proses pemasakan yg benar (digoreng, dipanggang matang & direbus mendidih)

RENUNGILAH Firman Allah:
“Hai orang-orang yang beriman! Makanlah yang baik-baik dari apa-apa yang telah Kami berikan kepadamu, serta bersyukurlah kepada Allah kalau betul-betul kamu berbakti kepadaNya. Allah hanya mengharamkan kepadamu bangkai, darah, daging babi dan binatang yang disembelih bukan karena Allah. Maka barangsiapa dalam keadaan terpaksa dengan tidak sengaja dan tidak melewati batas, maka tidaklah berdosa baginya, karena sesungguhnya Allah Maha Pengampun dan Maha Belas-kasih.” (Al-Baqarah: 172-173)

Semoga kita selalu diberikan kesehatan ini suatu pelajaran buat kita semua…

I have done nothing this week apart from ironing and fulfilling the terms of an apron my sister-in-law bought for me. She asked me to choose an apron at a flea market and seemed baffled that I chose one with the legend, ‘Burnt to Perfection,’ but I know my limits. Cooking a roast dinner last week, I burned the roast potatoes, the Yorkshire puddings and the mashed potatoes. Everything was actually fine until I rested the done-to-perfection mash in its pan on the back right-hand ring to keep warm and turned on the back left-hand ring to make the gravy…you’re way ahead of me here, aren’t you? People think I’m dumb but I immediately suspected something was wrong when I smelled smoke and saw burning. It’s just that I thought it was the chicken in the oven, and by the time I’d figured out it wasn’t, the mash was ruined. Faffing around with burnt mash and opening tins of new potatoes (kept permanently on hand for just such an emergency) meant that I forgot about the Yorkshires and the roasties. The smell was so bad we had to eat what was salvaged in the lounge, taking turns to wave papers in front of the five smoke alarms we own and keep supplied with fresh batteries, for obvious reasons.

There aren’t many meals that I get right, but I did once cook a perfect lasagne, which is kind of strange, given that I used powdered milk, cheese substitute, I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter, dried herbs, and tomato sauce instead of tomato puree. I threw in the tablespoon of flour at the last minute, and I’m pretty sure that was supposed to go in first after the mince. What’s the purpose of that tablespoon of flour; does anybody know? I suspect the family enjoyed the lasagne because there were no lumps or burned bits in the sauce; I’m finally getting the hang of it. Garfield would be proud of me.

I also once cooked a lovely roast turkey joint to perfection. It was a shame, then, that when I lifted it out of the dish I found the paper pad that comes in the packet to soak up the blood, and which really should not be cooked along with the joint.

The Muminator strikes again.

Motto: I’ll be kak.

Purpose in Life: to destroy the One Thing that will preserve the Future of Mankind…any food that crosses her stove.

Motto: I’ll be black (or at the very least incinerated beyond edibility).

I think Arnie should have brought Sarah Connor to me because I’d have killed her off for sure: she would have had no natural immunity, unlike my family, who all have iron constitutions after years of charcoal and cornflakes for dinner.

Motto: I’ll be gak (one for the Star Trek fans among you, who will appreciate the full horror of the analogy).

I only know two states of cooking – raw and cremated. Let’s hope I remember to do sandwiches next time someone visits.

Not much news other than Spud’s assertion that, because the whole world drinks milk (apart from vegans, and the less said about them the better), then, technically, the whole world is breastfeeding.

© Tilly Bud and The Laughing Housewife, 2009

Esse pra mim é um caso de isolamento atípico de originalidade aguda. Isso é Aphex Twin ou qualquer um de seus outros tantos apelidos. Sabe-se que seu nome é Richard David James, nascido em 18 de agosto de 1971 em Limerick, Irlanda… Mas foi totalmente educado na Inglaterra, em Cornuália. Ele é um produtor musical e DJ esquizofrênico nas horas vagas, pois sua vida e obra são marcadas por puro experimentalismo e absurdos. Já se imaginou como sendo o criador e difusor de um novo estilo musical? Aphex Twin é isso. Ele criou o que hoje é chamado de Intelligent Dance Music e foi considerado pelo jornal britânico The Guardian como ‘’ a mais influente e criativa figura da música eletrônica contemporânea’’.

• Infância

Desde adolescente, James já trabalhava como DJ em sua cidade e jamais teve qualquer tipo de contato com música em toda sua vida e que também nunca teve instrumentos. James diz que jamais ouviu música antes até o dia que decidiu criar a sua própria música com instrumentos que ele mesmo criava! Sim, ele nunca ouviu música em lugar algum, criou seus próprios instrumentos e criou sua obra. James ainda completa dizendo que jamais teve influências, mesmo atualmente, e que a única música que o influenciou em toda sua vida foi a que ele mesmo tocava. Quando havia carência de instrumentos, seus amigos lhe davam sintetizadores velhos e ele adaptava conforme sua tendência acusava.

• Personalidade

Diversos artistas copiam e deixam-se influenciar pelas músicas de Aphex Twin, que atende por outros codinomes: AFX, Bradley Strider, Caustic Window, Gak, Polygon Window, Power Pill e Q-Chastic. [Exato! Para cada apelido desses, existe uma discografia e estilo musical diferente]. Aphex mora num antigo banco do Bradesco, dentro de um cofre onde fabrica suas músicas e tem um tanque e um submarino de guerra em sua residência e sua presença no palco é constantemente despercebida e largada [Aphex toca fora do palco ou em completa escuridão e muitas vezes ele faz apresentações inteiras de 2 horas e ninguém numa platéia de milhares percebe que ele estava tocando].

Aqui para download um EP entre tantas centenas de trabalhos criativos e irônicos de James, o EP Windowlicker        Download

1 – Windowlicker

Suzanna threw her metallic green reading glasses down onto her reclaimed wood desk in exasperation. “I’m sorry, Suze,” said ZaFro. “There’s nothing I can do – GASR is gonna have to close down this week unless we can get a cash injection”. ZaFro was the conceptual shaman of GASR, the Hoxton Square based freesheet that had given Suzanna her start in the world of cutting edge journalism. Her expose on Council policy on bike parking had given her a headstart, but now it was all threatened for the most pathetic reason imaginable. They had run out of cash.

“Look, Suze, the Bank just won’t have it. Apparently you can’t leverage a commercial loan using an Egg Card. those fucking squares are still living in the 90s man, it was crazy down there. The woman even asked me to take my shades off. I mean fuck that, yeah?”. Suze pulled her hair in frustration. It was little surprise that HSBC had such little imagination. It seemed incredible that the man would spend billions invading Iraq but could manage a few thou for such an important cultural isotope. “Can’t you go to your dad, Zaf?”. “Nah, Suze,” he replied mournfully. “Not since I blew all that dough on the ice sculpture. I mean fuck, I know it melted and all but the artist never said I had to keep in the fridge or shit. I thought he had sprayed it or something.” Suzanna looked at the puddle in the corner of the office and nodded sagely. “Anyways, it is what it is,” ZaFro said. “We gotta be outta here in by the end of the week, so just do what you gotta do”. Suzanna picked up the credit card he had discarded on her desk, thought for a second and then plunged out into the Hoxton sunshine.

***

The barman looked at her. “This card says it belongs to Zachary Frobisher – that aint you is it?”. “Er…he’s my boss,” she replied weakly. “He’s on his way down now”. The barman grunted and got her the bottle of Heinekin she had ordered. “You know we do a pint of Heiny for less than that yeah?”. “Yeah sure,” she replied. “Well…why dont you get that?” “I want a bottle,” she said. “But it’s more in a pint – you can throw some of it away if you cant finish it”. “Nah, just the bottle,” she said swinging sideways on her barstool. If it’s good enough for McNulty it’s good enough for me, she thought. Some people just don’t get it, she thought, as she watched the barman wipe the specials off the board.

Three hours later ZaFro emerged from the toilet sniffing loudly. Suzanna was pretty drunk by now, and looked longingly at his tight brown jeans and the three inches of purple trainer tongue on show. He was pushing 40 now, but he still had the look. His asymetrical fringe sad up like a proud cockerel on his head. “Wanna fuck?” he asked. “Sure,” she replied, sliding off her beanbag.

***

The next morning Suzanna awoke to find ZaFro sitting on the window sill looking thoughtful. “That’s never happened before Suze I swear, even on the funny powder,” he said. She sighed. “Don’t sweat it, Zaf, we had a great chat anyway, and your thoughts on the occupation of Iraq being a bit like Carry on Camping has given me some great ideas for a new article. It was well meta.” Zaf got up, smiled and ruffled her hair. Maybe everything would be ok after all.

-Gabon Lahore

The 243 turned on to Rectory Road smelling of crack and children. DC Waller boarded, too tired to make the short walk up to Stoke Newington police station. Shouldering past headscarfed Hasidic Jewish women, he sat down in the seats reserved for the elderly and disabled.

A hipster approached, thin and bequiffed like a low-rent Morrissey.

“Hey mate, wanna buy some gak?”
“What?”
“Gak, mate, Gak, y’know, Dalston snow, no Stokie strychnine, safe.”

DC Waller looked at him, for a moment bemused.

“What…”

The hipster hesitated.

“Err…..”

DC Waller’s eyes narrowed. It had been a long day of knife crime, asylum seekers and police corruption. Reading The Daily Mail always was a good way to pass the time, but at the end of the afternoon he had been forced to make the short walk up along the high street towards Tottenham to deal with a minor traffic offence. His hand tightened on his truncheon.

“Wait” cried the hipster. But it was too late. DC Waller hit him once just behind the ear, and then twice more on the base of the scull. The hipster crumpled. Applying a few short, sharp kicks to the ribs and then one to his backside, DC Waller grunted “get up his arse”.

The bus quietly turned onto Stoke Newington High Street. The driver, unsure of what to do, drove on past the Halkevi centre, now bereft of Kurds, and then past Bardens Boudoir and Dalston Superstore. As the bus approached the Junction, DC Waller rang the bell. The doors parted. As he exited a thin stream of blood dripped onto the Dalston pavement.

-Morgan Lloyd

Twas Friday night in Hoxton Square
Lassitude was driving Neil elsewhere
In want of girls to show his new hair
To Dalston he would go

For Hoxton was stalled and stuck – and stank
Of Italo disco and Britart skanks
Furthermore the gak in Hoxton was rank
But not in Dalston, no

So all smocked up in pastel pinks
Thirsting for bleached wheat beer to drink
The call rang out from urinal to sink
‘To Dalston let us, ho!’

In time they would hit Passing Clouds
To navigate the hipster crowds
And grope young girls in chequered shrouds
For that was Dalston, lo

-Dan Hancox

Inspired by Brutus

A hot, sweaty night, the kind of night where you play the inner temperature rollercoaster, seeking air vents and fans here and there for temporary coolness, soon thawed and reheated in the confines of a claustrophobic toilet cubicle.  I get the gear out of my pocket as quick as I can before the moisture in the air attacks the powder, like a guilt-induced avenging angel come to turn your fun into gloop.  I do my thing, take a slash and exit, checking my nose for detritus before going back on to the floor.  I’m keeping it to myself tonight, there’s a lot of parasites about and if they want to get high, they should get their own.

Whilst washing my hands, I overhear the Kent boys talking outside.  I’d met a couple of them the night before at the hotel, primates drugged into peace by Ecstacy, the inner core of violence thinly held back by sunshine and good times.  Paul, their de-facto chieftain,  speaks to his cohorts, uniformed in shiny shirts, distinguished by length of hair – shaven or long in the style of the Balearic playboy.

“So who’se had what…You’ve had one, John, You’ve had a half?  Terry, you’ve had one, Jim – you’ve had two you greedy cunt..Kev?  How may of you done?  He can’t fucking speak look at him the cunt”

“He owes me Two Mill”

“Shut it you mug, he don’t owe you nothing!”

I quickly pass the boys, smiling hello, and head back towards the terrace, leaving them to their reckoning.

Carol Sylvan “Closer” Dub

by: Tami O’Connor

Let’s face it, kids of every age love gooey substances! The year is never complete until you have made at least one version of slime. Depending upon your grade level, the topic you’re teaching, your classroom budget, and the time you have available, there are a number of options open to you.

One of my favorite “recipes” is the ever popular Elmer’s Glue Gak. Aside from the fact that it’s easy to make, it’s rare that you wouldn’t have most of the essential ingredients at your fingertips.

You will need equal parts of Elmer’s glue-all and water. I tend to use two cups side by side and pour about 1/4 cup of glue in one and an equal amount of water in the other. Students can easily judge if the two liquids are equal without messing around with measuring cups. Pour the water into the glue and stir well. At this point, you can add food coloring, or better yet, phosphorescent powder so your gak will glow in the dark. If you’re using food coloring, only 4 or 5 drops are necessary.

In a separate cup you will need to mix hot water and Borax (sodium tetraborate) until you have a saturated solution. 20 Mule Team Borax can usually be found in your grocery store in the laundry aisle. I explain to my students that the water is saturated when the powder no longer dissolves in it. Evidence that you have a saturated solution is when the powder remains on the bottom of the beaker or glass even after the liquid is stirred well.

While mixing the glue mixture, slowly add the Borax solution. Students will immediately find that the glue mixture begins to clump and turn from a liquid to more of a putty-like solid. This is because the sodium tetraborate is a cross linking agent that hydrogen-bonds with the long polymer molecules found in the Elmer’s glue.

Another favorite gooey activity is slime making…. For this, I always use polyvinyl alcohol. I love using the hot water soluble Polyvinyl Alcohol Bags commonly used in hospital laundry rooms. Typically, these bags are used to place soiled linens within them reducing the chance that a hospital worker will come into contact with contaminants. When the bag, filled with sheets etc. is thrown in the washing machine, the hot water dissolves the bag exposing the linens to the water and detergent. When the water leaves the washing machine, so does the dissolved PVA.

To make the slime, dissolve the PVA bags in hot water (the appropriate amount is in the directions), and then slowly stir in the same Borax solution used to make Gak. The basic difference between slime and Gak is textural and color. Gak is opaque while slime is more transparent, and slime tends to be a little thinner and less putty-like. As with Gak, slime can be colored by using a couple of drops of food coloring before adding the Borax solution.

For those teachers who have less time to spare, Educational Innovations carries a Classroom Slime Kit that has everything you need premixed. All you have to do is combine the PVA solution and Borax solution and voila… instant slime!

Finally, the gross fluid that behaves like a liquid and a solid; Oobleck! When allowed to sit in its container, Ooblek behaves like a liquid. As soon as pressure is applied, this non-newtonian fluid behaves like a solid. It can be rolled into a ball, but then as soon as you stop rolling, it “melts” in your hands! Kids love experimenting with this material!

Oobleck is easily made by using 2 parts cornstarch to one part water. If you are planning to color your Oobleck, it’s easiest to color the water you add to the cornstarch. Finally, if you are working with younger children, the perfect literature connection is Dr. Suess’s Bartholomew and the Oobleck.

Clean-up for any of the gooey mixtures is fairly simple. A warm soapy sponge should clean most flat surfaces. It’s a good idea to keep any of the polymers away from clothing or carpeting, especially if you use food coloring. With the exception of the Borax solution, I would avoid putting anything else down the drain, but putting them in the garbage can should be fine… Be sure there is a plastic liner in the can or you will not be the custodian’s favorite teacher!

This is a simple and inexpensive play dough like material to make.  All you need is glue, borax, and water.  I have found that adults make faces at this while children tend to love it (although some hesitantly at first).  This is not only a great art material but also a fabulous lesson in science – you are pretty much turning liquids into a semi-solid.
While working with Gak your child can strengthen his fine motor skills by looking for hidden objects, stretching the Gak, and cutting it with child safe knives and scissors.  New language can be developed as you comment on and ask questions about what is happening to the Gak a you make it and explore it.  Gak also takes the space of an object it is in and lends itself well to basic measurement play and exploration.
Please make Gak with your child.  She can help you measure the ingredients but I encourage you to make sure an adult measures out and adds the Borax, as it is a strong household cleaner.  Also, please supervise your child while she is playing with Gak.  Although Gak has a laundry booster as part of the ingredients, it has been known to get stuck to carpet and clothing and be stubborn to remove.  Tinting the Gak with a washable coloring (not food coloring) like washable liquid watercolors or washable paint will help.  But most importantly, have fun!

Recipe for GAK:
Materials:

• two bowls
• spoon
• measuring cups and spoons
• Glue – 1/2 cup
• Warm (1 cup) and cold (1/2 cup) water
• Borax (found in a big box in the laundry section of the grocery store) – 1 tablespoon
• an air tight container for storage (if using a ziplock bag, please double bag)
• Age appropriate manipulatives (small plastic animals, rocks, coins, etc…), child safe knife and scissors, different shaped containers, cookie cutters, etc…

Mix 1/2 cup glue and 1/2 cup cold water in a bowl, add coloring but not too much.  In a separate bowl, mix 1 cup warm water with 1 tablespoon Borax, it’s OK it not all the Borax dissolves.  Pour the Borax into the glue mixture.  Mix with spoon or hands (recommended).  Empty off extra liquid, move Gak to a hard work surface, and continue kneading it.  Store in an air tight container, it might leak out of zip-lock bag so please double bag.

As always, if you do this with your child, please take a picture and I will post it here.

Gak. Yet another blog that I have set up to test things for a client.

A feverish, nervous run on the tube brings me to Highbury & Islington station. I’m off to see S, a super cool hippy dude that’s related to a good friend of mine. I walk at pace up the hill towards his flat, no doubt affecting the length of stride described as “the junkie walk” in certain parts of town. It’s not the quest for a fix of brown I’m after, though, it’s the happy anticipation of some good quality recreational narcotics for the weekend.

My girlfriend has encouraged me to bulk-buy anything good on offer, so I have a pocketful of cash and a weekend of supposed hot weather ahead of me. S has warned me not to hang around : “The missus is supposed to be coming back mate, can’t have you around the place, she’ll get all funny about it, you can’t hang about fella” – and words to that effect. I think the tension in his voice about his wife walking in on one of his transactions has made me more on edge than I naturally would be when leaving the house to buy drugs.  For a cool hippy, S is notoriously uptight.

I ring the bell and am ushered in. The curtains are drawn against the bright day outside; the few streams of light illuminating dust and cannabis smoke. “Skin up!”, I’m ordered.  I perform the action, he gets me a beer from the fridge, we light up, he then produces a mirror and a bag of yellow cocaine, reeking of parrafin and crumbling like honeycomb.  He chops two lines, at least four or five inches long and we snort.  We finish the joint.  He seems in no hurry to get rid of me and racks out another soon after, but I’m feeling like I should go once I’ve made my purchases (3 grams, a half ounce of hash and ten pills) -  he didn’t want me to hang around, right?  We toot the second then my heart starts to thump, I’m confused – fuck it, I’m going to get out of here, if nothing else to escape this fiend’s mania to get high! It’s only 4 in the afternoon on a Friday! What if his wife turns up? Leggit!

Pockets bulging with stinking gear, I jump on a bus to the tube.  My hearts thumping through my chest as I descend the escalator and sit on the train.  I’m now convinced the 3 West African guys in my carriage are undercover.  My mouth’s gone totally dry and I can’t wait for beer.  Stockwell all the sudden seems an era away.  But soon I’ll be in the garden, smoking a joint in the sun, drinking a cold beer and pressing my tongue to the numb roof of my mouth, revelling in the dentist-chair oral aneathesia, while US garage belts out of the kitchen window.  Summer’s here.

Download : That DJ Mag Nervous Mix tape

Sean, in his wisdom as keeper of the finances in our house (since my concept of money has more to do with ethics than actual numbers), set each of us up with a “fun money” fund. Think weekly allowance. Both of us can spend our money on whatever we want within our grown-up piggy banks so long as we save some for clothes (me) or don’t mind not having new clothes (Sean). Thus far we have avoided fights about spending on stuff the other one thinks is wasteful and therefore I can have occasional weeks where I buy things like these (yay!).

Vintage napkins for $4.50 from Etsy

Teeny tiny vanilla colored earrings, $3.00, from Le Geek Est Chic

Various fun/useful things from a community garage sale in a farm town near where I grew up: $18

Then there are those extra special handmade gifts that you can only get from a thoughtful 11-year-old brother:

Homemade Snot, also known as Gak to children of the 90’s: priceless

(Also, new camera which I got a *great* deal on and clearly haven’t gotten the hang of yet – but it has zoom! Excellent upgrade, heh…)

By the way, anyone have good ideas for getting the smell of smoke out of items that can’t be washed?

Man sieht sich im Leben immer zweimal – oder öfters. Hannes “Wenn di anschau, kriag i a Lungenentzündung” Kartnig und Harald “Und i an Lockrompf, wenn i die anschau” Fischl liegen wieder einmal im Clinch. Obwohl beide seit Jahren nicht mehr das Präsidentenamt bei Sturm bzw. GAK bekleiden, geht die einstige Provinzposse in eine Verlängerung. Wie die “Kleine Zeitung” heute berichtet, schuldet das steirsche BZÖ Kartnigs Firma “Perspektiven-Werbung” noch immer 145.000 Euro für Plakate im Rahmen des Grazer Gemeinderatswahlkampfs (Jänner 2008). Zuständiger Finanzreferent der Orangen: richtig, Harald Fischl. Dieser kündigte – laut Zeitung “hörbar verschnupft” – an: “Die Sache kläre ich mit Hannes Kartnig”. Es ist angerichtet für einen provinziell-steirischen Watschentanz, verbal vielleicht ähnlich subtil geführt wie einst in den 90ern.

Kamu jangan cemburu bila aku denganya
Sedang bercumbu-cumbu di depanmu waktu itu
Kan aku sudah bilang cinta tak cukup satu
Bukan hanya dirimu yang ada dalam hatiku
Reff I
Ngak jaman punya pacar satu saja
Enggak jaman pacaran harus setia
Ngak jaman http://kumpulan17.wordpress.com cewek itu harus ngalah
Enggak jaman cewek selalu di bawah
Reff II
Aku wanita masa kini
Kupunya cinta sana sini
Tidak di jajah laki-laki
Tak akan pernah sakit hati
*music
Kan aku sudah bilang cinta tak cuktp satu
Bukan hanya dirimu yang ada dalam hatiku
Kalau kau tidak mau jangan jadi pacarku
Pergi jauh dariku dan aku cari yang baru
*ke reff 1&2 2x

* beli kaset dan cd nya
Judul: Enggak Jaman Punya Pacar Satu
Genres: dangdut
Artist: Lolita

by: Dave Crowther

Recently, I was asked to visit a first grade classroom and teach a lesson on Solids and Liquids. As a university professor, I always get excited when I get to work with real kids in real classrooms – there is nothing like the passion that children have when they are actively engaged in doing science! So, after looking up the specific standards and objectives as well as perusing through the adopted curriculum for the school, I chose to explore ice melting as an introduction to the lesson (engagement), making ice cream in a bag (exploration), and then making Gak (white school glue, water and Borax) as both the elaboration and assessment.

Having taught elementary school as well as teaching science methods for over 15 years, I know, as well as all of you know, the importance of having a good plan and being as organized with materials as possible. This organization even goes to the extent of pre-measuring glue into individual 2 ounce portion cups and mixing up the Borax to the specified solution ratio and then putting all of this into plastic bins so that I could easily hand a bin with the materials to each group.

I was ready to go. I showed up at the school thirty minutes early with 2 copy paper boxes loaded up with materials, only to find out that our lesson would be delayed another thirty minutes due to an assembly. Not a problem, I had the classroom to myself and quickly organized the materials and was ready to go when the kids entered the classroom. Oh, the energy these wonderful children have! We quickly got out the science notebooks that are used in the classroom and we drew pictures of the ice cube as it melted for the first two minutes (about the entire attention span of all of these children.) Then we decided to see what we could do to melt the cube faster and the creativity kicked in.

We had a brief discussion and introduced the words “Liquid” and “Solid” on the Science Word Wall. The kids constructed their own definitions and recorded them in their notebooks. We then went on to see if we could change a liquid to a solid by shaking ice cream in a bag surrounded by a larger bag with ice and salt. The kids ate their ice cream with much enthusiasm as we discussed properties of liquids and solids and added observations to the white board and refined our definitions on the word wall. The final stage of the lesson was to make Gak and then have the kids draw and label, or communicate as well as they could in their science notebooks, the properties of solids and/or liquids that the gak had when they played with it. Entries included ideas from our discussion and represented (for the most part) the definitions of solids and liquids that were observable in the gak. A great 60 minutes of science!

Now that you have read my experience teaching first graders science, I know that many of you have thoughts and ideas of how you teach this particular objective / standard. The reason for this blog is really two fold: 1) to provide a space for teachers to share lesson ideas and get lesson ideas for teaching science in the classroom. 2) To provide a space to have discussions of the content and materials that are required to teach science, along with some of the misconceptions that may be present.

As a teacher-friendly company, Educational Innovations is dedicated to helping all teachers get the information, materials and support that is needed for all children to experience science and become more science minded. Please share your thoughts and ideas within the blog and help us build this great resource.

Ini gw listing program2 beserta penjelasan dan link downloadnya, program yang menurut gw HARUS ADA di PC(baca: personal computer)  u pada, karena program2 ini sangat useful dan bisa maintain PC u supaya tetep “enak dipake”

1. CCleaner

Apa itu CCleaner? CCleaner adalah freeware yang berfungsi untuk melakukan cleanup/pembersihan terhadap file2 yang sudah tidak digunakan lagi oleh PC dan malah kadang dapat membuat PC menjadi berkurang kinerjanya. Biasanya file2 tersebut berupa temp folder ataupun internet cookies dan history…Nah, sebagai contoh yaitu internet cookies dan history, mereka sebenarnya “tercipta” dari kegiatan kita dalam browsing ke internet, jadi seperti login ke e-mail atau register untuk account di website, website tersebut akan mengirimkan cookies ke komputer kita untuk menyimpan data yang sudah kita input untuk sementara sebagai proof/bukti kegiatan kita, memang sih file cookies tersebut tidak besar, hanya sekitar 100bytes-100kb, namun apa jadinya jika file yang kecil tersebut jumlahnya ribuan bahkan jutaan, tentu saja kapasitas penyimpanan kita akan berkurang dan lagi saat kita membuka browser sperti IE(baca: internet explorer) maka ketika kita membuka website yang sama atau login ke account email kita, maka cookies tersebut akan dibaca terlebih dahulu oleh browser, tentu saja tindakan tersebut akan memperlambat proses berselancar di internet…satu lagi cookies juga dapat menjadi berbahaya karena ada beberapa hacker yang dapat MENCURI DATA PRIBADI kita hanya dengan membaca file cookies tersebut…

Oke ini link downloadnya…

CCleaner v2.16.230

http://www.ccleaner.com/download/downloading

2. Auslogics Disk Defrag

Kalo udah pernah baca blog entry gw yang sebelumnya

~Eh…Eh…Kok(komputer gua)Gitu sih…,Lho kok lelet???~

Salah satu penyebab leletnya PC adalah jarang/tidak pernah dilakukanya disk defragment. Mungkin kalo udah ada yang nyoba pake defragment yang built-in/udah ada di windows, mungkin akan berasa “kok lama banget ya prosesnya” bisa >1Jem,wew… Masalah ini ada solusinya yaitu menggunakan aplikasi Ini untuk mendefrag hard disk, kenapa pake ini? karena program ini dapat melakukan disk defrag dengan sangat cepat apalagi jika sebelum melakukan disk defrag terlebih dahulu melalukan cleanup dengan CCleaner, disk defrag akan makan waktu hanya beberapa menit…

Link Download:

Auslogics DiskDefrag 1.5.23.350

http://www.auslogics.com/en/downloads/disk-defrag/disk-defrag-setup.exe

3. K-Lite Codec Pack

Pernah ada yang nanya ama gw, “Kok komputer gw ga bisa nyetel video .3Gp sih???”.Mungkin ada juga yang ga bisa nyetel video dengan format lain. Nah… itu berati di PC ente lom keinstall codecnya, codec itu semacam plugins atau bahasa simpelnya “program tambahan” buat PC supaya bisa membuka file2 video atau juga audio. K lite Codec Pack ini menurut gw dah yang paling lengkap, smua video dan audio dapat disetel setelah menginstall program ini. Satu lagi yang juga menjadi kelebihan dari K-Lite Codec Pack adalah dia mengintegrasikan sebuah media player yang berfungsi untuk menyetel video ataupun audio dengan lancar tanpa membebani PC bernama MEDIA PLAYER CLASSIC, interfacenya simple tapi menurut gw agak kuno(ya iya lah, namanya juga classic…).

Link Download

K-Lite Codec Pack 4.6.2 FULL

http://www.free-codecs.com/download_soft.php?d=5075&s=775

atau

http://www.free-codecs.com/download_soft.php?d=5012&s=775

P.S: pas install jangan lupa pilih “lots of stuff”

4. Antivirus(Bah??? lagi…lagi…)

Kalo yang ini kayaknya ga penting banget(kayak KWN, Penting Ga Sih??? kata Bu Y**I)dibahas berulang-ulang Jelas butuh antivirus buat nangkal virus.. yang gw rekomendasiin liat di Blog Entry GW:

http://kittodmaster.wordpress.com/2009/02/18/recomended-antivirus-norton-av-2009-how-to-use-it-100free-50legal/

DAH SILAHKAN COBA INSTAL DAN RASAKAN BEDANYA…

Man
skarang karena gua gak ada ide mo mosting apaan, gua mo nulis ini aja nih transkrip sms gua yang bego dengan temen gua.
Let’s check this out

Gua : Ada rencana sekolah di luar negeri gak ?
Dia : Ada sih rencana buat abroad tapi gak tau deh, btw kamu lagi ngapain ?
Gua : Jawab dulu dong pertanyaanku
Dia : Kan tadi udah aku tulis “ada sih rencana buat abroad”
Gua : (dengan penuh rasa malu) Ia, yah sori aku gak tau artinya abroad

Percakapan sms ini udah terjadi sekitar stengah tahun lewat antara gua dengan temen sd gua yang ada di bogor.
Temen gua ini adalah musuh gua dalam hal pelajaran. Gua selalu bermimpi buat bisa ngalahin dia dan dapet juara umum, namun sayang ternyata gua selalu jadi pecundang di hadapan dia. Sekarang dia kembali datang dan menantang gua untuk lomba tinggi-tinggian nilai.

Dia : Eh kita kan sekarang udah mau UN nih ya kan ?
Gua : Ia, emangnya kenapa ?
Dia : Gimana sebagai pemacu kita lomba yuk, nilai siapa yang paling tinggi pas UN nanti ?
Gua : Ah, pasti aku kalah. Aku kan lebih bego dari kamu
Dia : Jangan gitu dong, masa kalah sebelum berperang sih, gimana sih kamu
Gua : Ia yah, boleh deh kalo gitu.

Dengan penuh kebegoan gua nerima aja tantangan dia, padahal gua tau pasti gua kalah lagi.

Udah dulu ah
See you next post