The thing is, I’m sure there are people out there who would say they could interpret these dreams for me. There are dozens of books and websites on dream interpretation. You can find out, for example, that if you dream of your gall bladder it means you need to get rid of negative energy. If I ever dream of my gall bladder I’ll be sure to let you know if that “scans” for me.

Whatever. Honestly, where do they get this stuff? As far as I know no one has found a Rosetta Stone to our subconscious. And if they did, one would assume that each culture would have a different “language”. The lions in my dreams, for example, must mean something entirely different than those dreamed of by a bushman of the Kalahari. So when someone attempts to interpret my dreams with even the slightest degree of certainty, I tend to look at them askance. The truth is, for every unequivocal dream interpretation, there had to be somebody, somewhere, pulling this stuff out of his or her behind.

And let’s not forget that there are always mitigating circumstances with our dreams. I’m sure my chugging Nyquil has added a whole new layer of confusion to my brain, so how can you interpret the dreams I had last night the same way you would on a night when I was healthy and unmedicated? It can even boil down to what you ate before going to sleep. I agree with Charles Dickens in A Christmas Carol: “You may be an undigested bit of beef, a blot of mustard, a crumb of cheese, a fragment of underdone potato.”

Trying to figure out your dreams can be fun and it will certainly make you think. But if you honestly believe that there’s a dream dictionary out there that will answer all your questions, keep dreaming.

Some highlights – both good and bad:

• at the beginning of the year I was flying back to Canada from spending Christmas 2011 in the UK with Munkles, who I met on Twitter. I was feeling so high and sad at the same time – as I had a wonderful Christmas week.
• Finishing off the process to get my Lithuanian Passport – I’d been working on it since late 2010 but I was finally able to get all the documentation together – my dad’s Travel Visa issued by the Military Government of West Germany in 1948, birth certificates, old passports etc all being photocopied, notorised and professionally translated. I finally was able to get the passport in early July of 2012.
• While finishing off my LT passport application I got to spend 2 days in Ottawa with my Momma Bean. It was a bit bitter sweet as she knew what my goal was, but we had a lovely two days.
• Munkie came to visit me in March – I took a week off work and we went down to Niagara Falls, spent the night there with a spectacular view of the Horseshoe Falls, visited a bird sanctuary and wandered about.
• Momma Bean met Munkie.
• Exposed Munkie to the delights of Vietnamese, Korean and Eastern European cuisine.
• Dr Herschorn agreed to do the perineal repair – yay!
• June I had gall bladder surgery, or atleast theoretically – the perineal repair was done, as was the removal of a very large bladder stone. But sadly I had too much abdominal adhesions for the General Surgeon to see anything safely so the lapriscopic attempt wasn’t successful
• Both Jenn and Stephanie were lovely during my recovery – taking care of me. Stephanie took me to the hospital the next morning as I wasn’t able to get my catheter in and Dr Herschorn was able to fix me up and we got to spend some time with Brian at the Sunnybrook cafeteria. I had jello and 7-Up for “lunch”
• The purge of my wordly goods was quite painful – I still greatly miss my iMAC, my iPAD, and my books (1000+). The purge was good as I was too cheap to ship it all on a cargo ship. I managed to reduce my life down to two suitcases and a backpack.
• August I flew out to be with Munkie. Getting through Customs at Gatwick was a breeze – not once was I stopped, as with an EU passport I was able to bypass the huge line-ups
• Had a couple mini-holidays with Munkie – Harrogate and Ely
• Got to see my Ruthie a couple times
• Made a baby blankie for Geeklawyer’s & Mrs Geekie’s new prince
• Had a gall bladder attack and discovered how the NHS is about 30yrs behind the times with regards to care standards
• The UK government treats its citizens like simpletons when it comes to medication – I had to get permission to purchase some Lemsip, and don’t even get me started on a conversation I had with a pharmacist over my request to purchase Pepto Bismol .. it’s behind the counter here and you need to request it, even though you don’t need a prescription for it.
• Getting a urologist is extremely painful here – GPs can refer you to a hospital and it’s up to that clinic who you get assigned to. If I need one who specialises in bladder repair why not just refer me to them directly?
• I did not have a wonderful Christmas, it was pretty painful during certain points and I hope to whatever deity there is that I don’t have to go through such emotional pain again.
• And now I am contemplating how I want my life to go.

HAPPY NEW YEAR PEEPS!!!!!!!!!!!!

During the course of the year, around all the birthday and  anniversary reminders, the basic events of life fill in the blanks.  I can look back on some weeks, and months – where there doesn’t seem to be an empty box, and wonder how we got through.   There are the basics, PT, swimming, dance class, music class.  There are some parties, and celebrations.   Around them are peppered annual exams, like the cardiologist and the eye doctor.  There are some “sick” visits with the  pediatrician in there too.

But last year was a “special” year.  Between us there were three surgeries.  Tonight as I reviewed the calendar I saw a higher than normal number of pre and post op visits.  I saw consultation appointments with surgeons, and each month seemed to remind me of a surgery that was, well life changing in its own way.  There were certainly a lot of firsts in 2012.

And, sadly there were some lasts too.  I couldn’t bring myself not to write GGPa’s birthday on the calendar.  It would have been in just a few weeks.  Instead I wrote it with a heart around it.  This year he will have his cake among the angels.  Nor could I stop myself from remembering his and GGMa’s anniversary the same way.  It didn’t feel right to leave it off.  I am sure she will appreciate a call or an Email anyway.

GGPa, GGMa, Grandma, and Pop (left to right)

I remember lots of birthdays on my calendar.  Some for the very young, and others for those quite senior folks I love so much.  But, even as I ink those special days into 2013, I know there are no guarantees.  I know that my writing their special date doesn’t ensure that we will all celebrate together.  It is reality.  It is sometimes tough to swallow, but we are not in control.

In Newton Connecticut many young lives were tragically altered.  ”Calendars” forever changed.  No rhyme or reason.  No notice.  Gone way too soon.

I attended the wake of a colleague tonight.  A 45 year old, happily married father of three.  He died suddenly Christmas Day.  I can not say we were “friends” outside of work, but I can tell you not a person that met this man easily forgot him.  His every breath was consumed wither with song, or words of his love for his family.  And tonight as I paid my respects I carried a heavy heart, and the reality again, that there are no guarantees.

Meghan was sick this morning.  Sicker than I have seen her in quite some time.  I was home alone, as Felix works this whole week before New Year‘s.  As she lay screaming on the bathroom floor, begging me to make the pain stop, I was terrified.  I called my sister to bring me Pedialyte and some essentials.  We lay there for quite a long time, at points her eyes were rolling – reacting to the pain in her stomach.  I held her as best I could and I prayed, hard.  I needed guidance.  I needed answers, and I needed that pain to be relieved.  He heard me, as He always does.  She vomited several times over the next hour or so, eventually ridding herself of whatever she had eaten that was bothering her.  I hadn’t seen that agony since the days of the gall bladder attacks when she was three.

We had had plans today, to celebrate my grandparents 67th wedding anniversary with them.  Even as the color came back into her cheeks, and the spring back into her step. we stayed home.  The lunch date that was on the calendar – unattended.  Our warm wishes sent with a phone call instead.

Grandma and Pop in December 1945

The calendar is a nice guide.  A road map of sorts.  It tells us where we hope to head.  But, as every day reassures me – it, like life, offers no guarantees.

This week the phone will ring.  Appointments will be set.  A thyroid biopsy will be scheduled.  A surgeon for my spleen may even get written in to the calendar as “consultation.”  2012 for us will end as it began.

Although as I tossed the calendar into the trash tonight, I couldn’t help but feel… somehow older, wiser, and even more appreciative of those who somehow come across my calendar each year.

double bubble in a reconstructed 3D coronal image

A large cystic , septate swelling of volume 416 ml is seen arising from the lumbo sacral region

3 D image of the meningo myelocele

3 d image – hydrops – bilateral pleural effusion and ascites

lumbar open neural tube defect seen

lemon shaped skull ; BPD was smaller ; Mild hydrocephalus noted

cerebellum shows abnormal banana shape

vsd colur flow  - muscular vsd

holoprosencephaly

cleft lip seen

lumbar meningo myelocele

high definition live imaging of lumbar meningo myelocele

prominent endocardial cushion defect or a v canal defect seen

colour flow clearly demonstrating the atrio ventricular septal defect

colour doppler 3 d reconstruction of umbilical vein varix

congenital diaphragmatic hernia

3d reconstruction clearly shows stomach in left hemithorax and the heart pushed to the right congenital diaphragmatic hernia

mega cystis – 3 d

3 d URINARY BLADDER CALCULI

GB POLYP

3 d reconstruction of cholesterolosis

comet’;s tail doppler artefact in a case of pancreatic calculi

power doppler of epidydymo orchitis

persistently adducted left thumb

bladder ca

Body parts seemingly useless?

The appendix is a narrow, muscular tube that attaches to the large intestine.

The gall bladder is a small organ that is known to store bile as well as aid in digestion.

Adenoids are masses of lymphoid tissue that are located at the very back of the nose.

The coccyx, more commonly known as the tailbone, is the last part of the human vertebrae.

Wisdom teeth are those that are located in the back of the mouth.

Tonsils are lymphoid tissues that are prone to becoming infected and swelling up.

Julie, no appendix, no coccyx, no wisdom teeth.

Grandma, no gall bladder.

Abby, no adenoids.

Tracy, no gall bladder, no wisdom teeth, no tonsils.

Alice…now…no adenoids, no tonsils.

Welcome to the world of losing your useless parts, Alice. You are so brave!

I was transferred as a transplant evaluation. My heart was shot, or so they thought. Seven days I was unconscious by medication. I wasn’t asleep the whole seven days, but I don’t remember them. I wish my family could say the same but they remember every waking second. They watched me, not knowing if I could talk or walk and if I lived, what would my quality of life be? It was that seventh day, when the doctors notified my family that my heart was functioning on it’s own and they were going to allow me to wake up and remove the pump device from my heart.

Luck was on my side that day, as I awoke to my entire family in the waiting room. I was baffled, as far as I knew I had just come out of a couple hour surgery and awoke in the same hospital. They had a lot of explaining to do. Miraculously my heart recovered and I was going to live to hear all of their stories. I still had a testy recovery and my gall bladder was not successfully removed but I had time. Time and options, that was all that mattered. The next six months went the same as the month prior to surgery. I was in pain and I was frequently unable to hold down food. It was miserable, but I was not safe to operate on.

During the next six months, they went through my ribs and into my gall bladder with a tube several times to empty it so that it didn’t rupture. These dates I don’t remember; there were too many, too often. Finally, I was fed up. The draining was unpleasant and the three or four times they had attempted to ablate my gall bladder with alcohol had been unsuccessful. I refused to have it drained again, I refused to let them set another date to ablate. I wanted relief, since six months prior that’s all I had wanted.

Arcerito, I will never forget that last name. He was a general surgeon from University of Michigan who had his nurse contact me. From my consultation to my bedside in pre-op, he insisted he was going to remove my gall bladder. He was sure of it. His confidence and comfort eased my nerves, as much as humanly possible. When I first met him, he walked into the clinic’s patient room that I was in, shook my hand and upon introducing himself said, “So I hear we’re going to remove this gall bladder of yours?”

“Well I can only hope,” I replied. He insisted, and that alone gave me hope. By the grace of God, he was right. I awoke that same day, April 17th, 2011, in that same hospital with five or six small incisions on my stomach but my gall bladder was no longer inside. This was the moment I had been waiting for, relief. If I wasn’t sore from surgery, I would have been jumping up and down and screaming of joy. I could have married that doctor that day.

I was discharged shortly and returned home to continue my everyday life with Congestive Heart Failure. Exhausting like before but much easier by itself. I was a lot more active in the months to follow. Things were hard for me but I could do them, and so I did. From babysitting to yoga to cardiac rehab. The worst was behind me, or so we thought.

If you want to know more, check back in a day or two. Thank you for reading.

-@ashleyams585 #donatelife

MacGyver at work!

In classic American fashion, we use the term jerry rig to denote a patch job or temporary construction, which is incorrect. The proper term is jury rig, which is a nautical term stemming from makeshift masts and yards made in case of damage or the loss of the original mast. It’s a weak and temporary method; basically enough to help you steer your ship into the nearest port and get properly fixed. Same idea applies in everyday life. Jury rigged problems buy you time, but end up being a lot worse down the line if they aren’t addressed sooner than later.

In these precarious economic times, it’s understandable that jury rigging may be the only manner in which to address issues. However, keep in mind that a home is only as strong as its foundation. If the leg of your massage table is starting to come loose, it’s only a matter of time before the putty you used to secure it wears off and your client ends up on the floor. It may be worth investing in a new table. Believe it or not, there are affordable options out there, if you take the time to look. $108 dollars spent is better than a lawsuit. With respect to injury, trying to work through the pain of muscle spasms in your back by jury rigging your office chair is only going to get you out of work faster than if you take a personal day to get a massage, see the chiropractor and/or doctor to deal with it. Energetically speaking, if everything in your life is a patch job, you can never really move forward. Eastern theory indicates that the inability to think, plan and execute relates to the Liver and Gallbladder being out of balance.  They present with the following symptoms: muscular weakness in the limbs and back, irritability, sudden bursts of anger, migraines, indigestion, sinus issues and depression to name a few. For a more comprehensive list of symptoms, pick up a copy of Korngold’s “Between Heaven and Earth: A Guide To Chinese Medicine.” Acupuncture and Shiatsu massage both effectively address this type of imbalance and your practitioner can give you aftercare in the way of dietary modifications and stretches to support the work they have done. This is especially good if you cannot afford to do more than a few sessions. Life is too short and precious to be jury rigged. Do all that you can to permanently fix your problems, internally and externally.

Well, maybe not cursed but most definitely unlucky when it comes to the holidays. Every holiday, especially Christmas/Yule time, I come down with some ailment that inhibits me from enjoying my winter break. Here is a ‘short’ list of some of the more exotic ones:

-double ear infection (several times)

-ruptured ear drum (twice in both ears)

-gall bladder surgery recovery

-chicken pox

-bronchitis (twice)

-ruptured tonsil due to severe tonsillitis (it healed and is fine)

-internal hemorrhaging (scariest moment in my sixth grade life…)

Just when things were looking up and I though the curse was broken, Little Bro brought home a highly contagious bug that my body’s not handling well. It has all the bells and whistles of a great virus: fever, sore throat and not to mention a horrible rash on my hands and arms that is making typing very painful so I have to stop it here.

I hope to feel better in a few days and post the post I promised.

Sorry again everyone but I’ll see you soon!

Blessed Be )o(

Maybe you have been following the saga of my poor spleen… or not.  Either way, my spleen has issues.  Or, rather, my doctors have issues with my spleen.

The first time the hamartomas were detected on my spleen was probably when I had an abdominal ultrasound as a screening after my diagnosis.  When I saw my oncologist in August, she wanted an MRI done of the spleen so she could have a basis for future comparison.  When she called me with the results in August she was ready to send me for a surgical consult, based on the significant size of the 4 hamartomas (courtesy of Cowden’s Syndrome – aka PTEN Hamartoma Tumor Syndrome) on my spleen.  Since the spleen itself is only about 11 cm long, the hamartomas across the top equaled or exceeded the length of the spleen.  At the time, I was coming off of a double mastectomy in March, and a hysterectomy in May.  She was forcing my hand to schedule a colonoscopy (which I did,) but I pleaded with her for 6 more months with my spleen.  Reluctantly, she agreed.

So, when I had the car accident and I was sent for an abdominal ultrasound, that started the whole process over again.  The oncologist looked at the report and ordered an MRI.  I went for the MRI and tried to set up the surgical consult.  The surgeon, who is a surgical oncologist, thinks the spleen needs to come out, but he wants me to see a different surgeon to see if it could possibly done through laproscopy first.  But, he wants to talk to my oncologist before he will set up an appointment to even evaluate my case, and my oncologist spent last week in California at a conference.

So, instead of February… it is now December, and I am waiting.  Waiting to have the fate of my spleen determined.

Well meaning people say to me, “Don’t worry – you can live without your spleen.”

Sometimes well meaning people should smile and nod more, and speak less.

Yes, I KNOW I can LIVE without my spleen.  You can also LIVE without your boobs, your uterus, your cervix and your ovaries.  You can LIVE without your gall bladder, and your appendix, and your thyroid, and one kidney, and part of your liver or lung too.  But, just because you CAN do something, doesn’t mean you should.

I am thinking of asking for a fake fish for Christmas.  One that will remind me I have been gutted like a fish this year.  One that will also remind me that, no matter how many body parts they take, you have to KEEP SWIMMING!

Monday or Tuesday I will talk to a doctor about my spleen.  I would love to keep it.  I just think we have gotten along nicely for the last 39 years.  And, its mine.  But, I will listen to the doctors (after I ask them EVERY hard question I have,) and I will do what is best, and safest.

Heck, I didn’t go through all of this past year to be beaten by my spleen….

I finally saw my GP this past Friday. I had printed out some of the notes from the Sunnybrook MyChart website – my labs, a couple radiology reports, progress notes and post-operative notes. The GP was thankful for the notes as they are something the GP practice can work with. I got my script for my catheter supplies, so huzzah! The visit with the GP was great, smooth and I got what I needed.

Then this weekend I had a gall bladder attack. Was taken to Southampton General Hospital and the A&E Department was great. I was triaged relatively quickly, within 15-20 minutes and then take back to the Majors area of A&E. Saw a doctor within an hour and got some liquid morphine to swallow (tastes like Canadian cough syrup, rather nummy). In Canada I would have an ultrasound, had some blood drawn and would have waited in A&E for the blood results while hopped up on pain meds. The ultrasound would be done relatively quickly, as the ER department has its own dedicated ultrasound unit. I would not have been admitted over a gall bladder attack which did not present as an infection (I had no fever).

I got admitted. Great. Took them over 24hrs to get an ultrasound. I wasn’t allowed to eat, I could handle that. But they didn’t put in an IV so I wasn’t even getting any dextrose or whatnot. The doctors who showed up in the early morning refused to acknowledge my existence, chatting over me. They were a little taken aback when I said nothing can be done (surgically) until I give my written consent – they can babble all they want, but they need to include me in these discussions.

I had the ultrasound and was ready to discharge myself as the twits were talking about keeping me in for another day. They confirmed no infection, the ultrasound showed that there are stones but none are clogging the ducts at the moment so obviously I passed one as the ducts look inflamed but no infection. I wasn’t running a fever, my pain was gone. Why keep me in? The Acute Care Doctors showed up and I refused to stay in for another day, saying that I am well enough and I would prefer dealing with them in an office environment.

Took over 2hrs to discharge me. Maybe there is something special about NHS surgeons? But there was no discussion when writing up a script for pain meds if I could tolerate what was being prescribed. No discussion of post-hospital care and whatnot.

While in hospital I shared a room with 3 other ladies. One of them had come in a week prior complaining of intense pain in her lower right quadrant – where the appendix is. They did an ultrasound (took them a day) and the scan was inconclusive so they tried to send her come with some pain meds. Thankfully she refused to go home and it took them another 2 days to get a CT scan done. In the meanwhile her appendix burst and now they cannot operate until the infection is cleared up from the burst appendix – which was the hospital’s fault. Reading up on the comments on the NHS website for this hospital this isn’t the first time they have fucked up.

I did notice from two of the fellow inmates that they were very deferential towards the doctors. Oh yes doctor. Oh no doctor. Whatever you say doctor. My eyes bugged out. Doctors are great, they perform great feats. But their primary responsibility is to take care of the populace, not to act like little demi-gods, barely making eye contact with the patients and acting rather patrionising towards the patients. The only one who shared my attitude was the lady with the burst appendix – she was pissed that the doctors screwed up her health like this. A burst appendix is dangerous, and can be deadly, and they did that to her.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

All of this has made me release that I need to setup a Medical Power of Attorney. I have decided on who, my partner Munkie and my good friend Madam R. I refuse to put Munkie’s dad down on the form. Every time we have a conversation he seems to act as if he knows better how to deal with my medical situation than I do – even though I’ve been dealing with it for over 40yrs. The last straw for me was him referring to my jingoist attitude towards the state of chaos at the hospital. He’s a nice enough fellow, but I don’t trust my medical survival on his opinions.

Tomorrow morning brings my breakfast date with the surgeon and it has to be said, I’m dreading it. I have had so many operations since 2008, it is getting a little bit ridiculous now. Some of them were my own doing through self harm and others were due to medical problems which I had no influence over. Still, none of them are much fun.

The key difference for me is what surgery is likely to do and it is going to sound really bad where my priorities lie. With self harm surgery the risk was that I would lose the limb, or my life. It was not a slim chance that I would lose a limb, with one operation they were pretty certain that would be the outcome and were incredibly shocked when they managed to save me and my arm. With all the other surgeries, they were on my stomach and this means one risk factor to me – sickness. That’s what I’m terrified of, the surgery making me sick. When I had my arm operated on and I was awake, I didn’t ask them to make sure I could feel my arm again, I just begged them to make sure there weren’t plenty of anti-emetics. When I think like that, it’s like eh???

Anyway, I’m not having surgery tomorrow, just meeting the surgeon and so my concern tomorrow is whether he will think I am an attention seeker. I wish I could say this is a stupid thought but it isn’t and it is repeatedly proven by medical staff. As I have mental health issues it seems to me that you cannot have physical issues. I wish!! I will never forget when I was in hospital with suspected appendicitis and the Doctor stood outside my cubicle curtain and told the Nurse “Have you seen her arms? She is just faking it for drugs and the attention” IF ONLY. As it happened, I didn’t have appendicitis – though I did three months later. I had lots of gall stones and needed my gall bladder out but I also had a large cyst which they were worried would rupture. His only proof that I should be lying? Scars on my arm and a diagnosis of a mental health issue. I find this very, very sad and I wish I could say my experiences were limited to this one guy but they aren’t. So I’m really not looking forward to tomorrow. It terrifies me because I don’t handle judgement like that very well. Yes, later on I can look back and be quite sort of “You are ignorant and uneducated” but at the time that’s not how it makes me feel. It makes me feel small and stupid. It makes me question myself. Am I making up the pain? Is it psychological? Do I really just want the attention and am pretending to myself? 

I’ve never met this surgeon before so it’s uncharted territory. There is a nice general surgeon that has operated on me three or four times so I had rather been hoping it would be him but it’s not so I just have to suck it up and pray for the best! Thankfully Mum thinks she will be able to come with me. I just want her to sit in the waiting room. It is amazing the difference it makes when my Mum is there. None of the medical staff listen to me unless my Mum is there because she is a Nurse. I can go to A&E on my own and they will suggest the crisis team (for severe stomach pain) and then my Mum will come in and they will run tests and then admit me to the ward because they have found the cause of my severe stomach pain. So hopefully having Mum there will reassure me.

After the surgeon, I have a few hours until my therapy appointment. I am already a bag of nerves about that as I hate confrontation but I know that I do have to confront my therapist with the fact that he trashed my confidentiality. I’m not going to make a big deal out of it, I’m going to be calm and just ask him why. Hopefully he will be able to explain why he did it and also give me clear rules about what he will do in the future regarding my confidentiality. It has to be something that we are both aware of because I am not going to trust him until I can be sure so fingers crossed.

The last few days haven’t been too bad.

There have been some unhappy times, mostly the nights where I am having vivid and disturbing nightmares but I am coping. My stomach pain has been slightly evil but again, I am coping.

I went in to town on Friday and met a very dear friend, we went Christmas shopping and that was good. It’s so lovely to catch up with her and she is a very wise friend indeed. We had an awesome time sharing news and talking things through. I was pleased to get nearly all my Christmas presents bought. Christmas is a major time of anxiety and usually sadness for me so I am just trying to keep as okay about it as I can. I’m usually okay up until my birthday which is just before Christmas so I have a little while to go yet.

Whilst I was waiting for the bus home I saw my “Father” – he did say hello to me, in fact he regaled me with “Hello W****” ~ very charming indeed. I waited until he had gone and then said “Goodbye waste of oxygen”, in the future I shall just call him ‘WOO’ as naming him a waste of oxygen is indeed a waste of my oxygen. Another girl was at the bus stop and she looked at me in horror and offered a sympathetic smile. I have to be honest, it was the nicest meeting I have had with him in a long time.

Saturday I went in to town with Mum and we went to Costa for er, breakfast but I had a cheese toasty so don’t think that counts as breakfast! It was 11.30am to be fair and I had been up since 4am so it was almost like tea time to me! Mum and I went to look for her Christmas tree and then we came to mine for a bit to check on the kitten. After I went over to Mum’s to see my mad dog Tilly and Mum’s dog Scooby. Even Simba the cat had some greetings for me! Surprisingly there were no arguments, result!!!

Today Mum and I went to a spiritualist meeting in the afternoon. I really enjoy these. It tests my anxiety but thankfully the hall is only across from my flats so I always know it is not too hard to escape. However, today I made a big step. We always sit on the outside of the group circle because I don’t feel comfortable but today they asked me to join them and I stepped in to the circle of seats. Eep. Just for fifteen minutes at the end but it was an achievement.

So there we go

Take care all,

Lucy (nearly signed that as Lice-y, ew!!)

xxx

Hours later, I lay motionless on a cold metal tray the hospital kept referring to as “the bed”. Ultrasound finished, infection reigned king and not only was I not going home, there was a chance that at any moment my body was going to attack itself, resulting in death. I KNOW. Apparently, positive thinking and an array of various pain killing drugs alone wouldn’t be enough to heal this.

I looked up as a handsome young man strode in. Wearing an eye patch.

NOTE: He probably looked like this:

SECOND NOTE: In my mind, he looked like this:

Him: “Hi, I’ve looked over your chart. Yikes! We’re not even going to be able to slice into you until we get some of that infection out of your body.”

Me: *pause* “We?”

Him: “I’m a surgery resident here. Can you lift your shirt? I’d like to be yet ANOTHER person to put my hands awkwardly and painfully onto your naked flesh.”

(okay, that last part might, MIGHT, be a slight misrepresentation of the actual dialogue. There’s really no way of knowing, and that’s the way my brain is remembering it.)

Me: “Sure.”

(silence).

Me: (carefully studying his face). Sooo… you’re wearing an eye patch.”

Him: (stabbing painfully at my sore gall bladder) “Oh! Yeah, my dog scratched my eye. I don’t actually get any days off. Damn school. So, here I am!”

Me: “Oh. Wow, um, what a really… great story.”

Him: humming “A Whole New World” from Aladdin.

Me: “So, just a quick question for you…”

Him: “Sure! Ask anything… wow, this is gross! It’s about 4 times its normal size!”

Me: “Yeah. Everybody keeps saying that. Heeeere’s the thing. Are you going to be doing my surgery? I’m only asking because while you really won me over with that fun story about your flesh eating dog, I’d feel a bit more comfortable if my surgeon was able to see out of both eyes. I mean, that kind of seems like a bare minimum thing.”

Him: (laughing) OH, no! I’m not your ACTUAL surgeon, I’m just checking you out for the real surgeon. She’ll be in here in just a moment. They barely let me do anything right now. Good one, Ms. Taylor!”

Me: “You should probably lead with that in your next room visit.”

Picture the family sitting around the living room sighing with their belt buckles undone, barely able to move after the feasting on enough food to feed a family of four for a week. You know all the Thanksgiving traditional foods, turkey with an abundance of gravy, stuffing, mashed potatoes, yams, cranberry sauce, soft chewy rolls, you name it it was there. As if that wasn’t enough it’s topped off with pumpkin pie served with a heaping dollop of whipped cream. There wasn’t much conversation at this point, just a couple of barely audible grumblings, ” Oh man, I ate tooooo much.”  As we lingered in the living room the little kids went off to jump on beds or something. We didn’t have enough energy to get up and tell them to stop. At least not right away. At some point my brother did excuse himself saying he was going to check on the kids. That was nice of him! However, after about 15 minutes we all noticed he hadn’t returned. I rolled off the couch and went to see what he was up to.

I found him in the bedroom laying on the bed, complaining of chest pains and how hot it was. He told me, ” I ate too much.” Well, who hadn’t? But no one else was sweating like a flagman in Phoenix. He was so uncomfortable he had concerns and decided he should go to the hospital. I offered to drive him, his wife would stay with the kids. Within 30 minutes we arrived at the emergency room – we were not the only ones there on Thanksgiving. We waited along with other over-stuffed looking patients. After about an hour of our emergency room waiting experience a doctor saw him. The doctor examined him, asked questions and determined that my brother had just over-indulged and his gall bladder was protesting. A nurse gave him a shot to relax something and they sent him home, which was back to my place, they were staying the night. I got us home safely and everyone was asleep by then. So, we too retired for the night. But not the whole night because the phone rang at 3 a.m.. It was Dr. So and So. He said that my brother’s blood work had come back and he should return to the hospital RIGHT AWAY. Holy moly, I hurried to wake him and off  we went to the ER again. I had no idea what could be the issue. The hospital won’t give that kind of information over the phone. When we arrived they took my brother immediately into an examination room and told him his blood work indicated he was having a heart attack. WOW. That’s what the chest pains were about? We were really surprised – no personal or family history of heart disease. The doctor recommended he stay over night for observation and was told the cardiologist would make his rounds early in the morning around six.

I left my brother at the hospital and went home to tell his wife ( she stayed with the little ones). So in the morning we were waiting for a call to let us know what was going on. Eight o’clock went by. Then nine o’clock. By 10:00 a.m. we said that’s it, we’re going to the hospital. We all piled in the car and went to the hospital, all the while imagining the worst. When we got there and found his room he was fully clothed on top of the bed watching some Cheech & Chong movie.

We immediately started asking questions; “What did the doctor say?” “How long you in for? “What happened?”  We all stood there waiting to hear the prognosis. My brother looked at us and said, “They got the wrong guy. They weren’t my test results.” Our mouths dropped open, we looked at each other and began to laugh. Only this could happen in our family; a fake heart attack. We remember this story every year as we gorge ourselves, AGAIN. However, we still wonder about the guy whose blood work showed HE was having a heart attack. What happened to him? Is his family remembering the Thanksgiving when dear old dad was treated for a gall bladder issue when in fact he was having a freakin’ heart attack? Really, where is that guy today? I’m just sayin’.

PS – I think heaping dollop might be an oxy-moron… maybe.

The offer to buy a companion ticket expired Aug 30.  In true form, my daughter and I made our decision that final day, purchasing two airline tickets to Indianapolis for the end of October.  Excited to introduce our new little one to extended family and friends, we were making it a ladies’ weekend away, since 6 month old Lillianne can fly free until she’s two years old.

Flying to Indy!

My mother did some strategizing of her own as she scheduled her foot surgery for nearly a month before our anticipated arrival.  Once Mom got settled following the procedure, all was well as she adjusted to hobbling around the house with her left foot encased in the boot.  After a couple weeks, I did begin to take notice that Mom sounded really tired and she often mentioned that there was discomfort in her abdomen that would come and go. Then just a week before our flight, it became very apparent that Mom was in a great deal of pain.  So those whose watch she is on, on a regular basis, took her to several doctor appointments and tests, coming to the conclusion that it was likely her gall bladder giving her fits, and that surgery was a great probability.  As Kim and I did our final packing for the trip, we switched clothing around for hospital and home instead of friends and family, restaurants, and church.

A few years ago, a dear friend of mine was going through difficult days when a Pastor friend called her out of the blue and asked what was going on.  God laid my friend on her heart, and she knew she needed to call and find out how she should be praying.  We were completely in awe of God’s hand in her life at that exact time, so we named that a “Parting of the Red Sea Moment”… a moment when only God could literally move the sea, or move someone to make a phone call, or to coordinate a much-needed surgery with a pre-scheduled visit.  My oldest brother, Jay, was on vacation all week … a week set aside to cut firewood for the upcoming winter … placed in the books at the Martinsville Post Office back in December 2011.  Tim’s sister, Amy, was cleared 2 weeks prior to have Friday off from work in order to spend the day with us girls and have lunch with her mom. Instead, she was able to sit with us at the hospital during my mom’s surgery, bringing us lunch, Mountain Dew, and lots of laughs!!  God was dishing out Red Sea Moments left and right!!

Mimi Wells with 4 of her 7 great grandkids
A’yden, Leyton, Jaxon, and Lillianne

What a privilege it was for me to be caregiver for those few days we were in town.  Before settling down to bed each night, Mom and I would pull up my Facebook on my  iPhone and read all of the sweet comments from dear friends and family … from 20 different states and 2 countries!!  It was like opening a mailbox full of get well cards, knowing that they had been thinking about her and praying for her!    Each day was a new day, gaining more strength, reclaiming her lost appetite, looking more rested, and feeling better.  Family times were extra special, as babies Lillianne, Jaxon, and Leyton (all second cousins, within 4 months in age) were introduced to one another, mommas and daddies compared stories, and Great Grandma (Mimi Wells) had several photo shoots with the children.

The first night we were at my Mom’s, my husband called and briefly mentioned something about a big storm coming up the east coastline … wanted to know if I had been listening to the weather.  I laughed at his silly question, thinking back over the extremely eventful day.  With surgery scheduled the following day, there was no thought about a storm and very little time to watch TV.  Sometime on Saturday, the realization hit us that our return flight into Baltimore could very possibly be cancelled due to Hurricane Sandy.  We literally spent 2 hours on hold that night with the airline, waiting to ask questions about cancellations, refunds, and rescheduling.  If we made the decision to not fly, then it would cost us.  If we waited on the airline to cancel the flight, then we could rebook at no cost.  We decided to trust the airline … if they choose to fly, then we would be along for the ride. So, on the way to the airport, we received the recorded message that our flight into Baltimore was cancelled.  Knowing that our hubbies were back east, weathering the storm alone (Troy had Cole’s assistance!), we were disappointed but yet relieved to not be sharing the same air space as the hurricane.

The first unexpected day was pretty much a wash, literally, as we were glued to the Weather Channel, watching the reports of flooding, fire, wind, power outages, and extreme devastation.  Having friends and family in the path of the storm was unsettling, knowing that our own homes could be damaged or be without power for days.  But as the hours passed, so did the winds and rain.  Grateful reports from home came in that there was no loss of electricity and that all was ok.  The brunt of the damage was closer to the shore … our beloved New Jersey beaches, the gorgeous homes and communities where we visit each summer ~ much of it flooded and destroyed.

Our last day with Mimi Wells was a productive one as we were determined to turn off the Weather Channel and work on some projects that we had already started for her.  By the day’s end, we were all packed again, ready and hoping for an early morning flight back home.

I often write about my personal relationship with God … how He and I have a special vocabulary, and He literally speaks to me through His Word.  A couple of days before our scheduled flight to Indy, my morning devotions had me reading in Lamentations 3 …

I remember my affliction and my wandering,
the bitterness and the gall.
I well remember them,
and my soul is downcast within me.

Yet this I call to mind
and therefore I have hope:
Because of the LORD’s great love we are not consumed,
for His compassions never fail.

They are new every morning;
great is Your faithfulness.
I say to myself, “The LORD is my portion;
therefore I will wait for Him.”

The LORD is good to those whose hope is in Him,
to the one who seeks Him;
it is good to wait quietly
for the salvation of the LORD.
Lamentations 3:19-26

Those 2 days before our trip, I knew right then and there that it was Mom’s gall bladder … and that my God was telling me that He had it all under control.

A few days later, before getting out of bed the morning of Mom’s surgery, I snuggled up next to her, and I prayed for her.  I asked God to guide the doctors and nurses as they tended to her that day, and thanked Him for parting the Red Sea so I could be there with her.  Just minutes later as I was having my devotions, Our Daily Bread had me reading in Joshua 2.  My heart began to soar as I read verse 10, knowing that once again, my personal and loving God was shouting to me “I LOVE YOU DEBBIE!!”

We have heard how the LORD dried up the water of the Red Sea
for you when you came out of Egypt, …
…for the LORD your God is God in heaven above and on the earth below.
Joshua 2:10 & 11

Four days later and wondering if it was really safe to be flying home, my devotions were in Psalm 32.  Verse 7 jumped out at me …

 You are my hiding place;
You will protect me from trouble
and surround me with songs of deliverance.
Selah

With confidence, I shared the verse with Kim and reassured her that despite the storm and the unsettled weather still along the east coast, God was safely going to take us back home.  Thank you, Father, for loving us so!

That Wednesday was an uneventful day … Lillie travels like a pro, taking everything in stride … flirting and smiling at anyone who looks her way.  Once landed in Baltimore, her eyes sparkled even brighter as her big brother held her hand all the way home.

Since we’ve been back home, Mom has gotten the pin out of her toe and is slowing making progress in getting out and walking without the protective boot.  Her small incisions from the gall bladder surgery are healing and she is regaining strength and hopefully putting some meat back on her frail little body.  I’m so looking forward to spending more time with her over the Christmas holiday … every moment with my momma is a precious moment!

Our hearts are still hurting for those still suffering from the effects of Hurricane Sandy.  Tim’s youngest sister and her family live on Long Island, just 4 blocks away from having lost everything.  Their everyday routines have been disrupted as the simple things like gas, groceries, and errands are no longer simple.  Our pastor friends, Del and Patsy Bieber in Tom’s River, New Jersey report that Samaritan’s Purse has set up headquarters in their parking lot, and that their church is very involved in the care of people in their area.

As we all think back over the events of the last few weeks, including the election just a few days ago, won’t you join me in continuing to pray for people everywhere whose very existence has been ravaged by the storms of life?  God wants to wrap His arms of Love, Mercy, and Hope around each of us … not just in His Red Sea Moments, but all the time.

Until next time,
Debbie

My hope is built on nothing less
Than Jesus’ blood and righteousness.
I dare not trust the sweetest frame,
But wholly trust in Jesus’ Name.

On Christ the solid Rock I stand,
All other ground is sinking sand;
All other ground is sinking sand.

When darkness seems to hide His face,
I rest on His unchanging grace.
In every high and stormy gale,
My anchor holds within the veil.

His oath, His covenant, His blood,
Support me in the whelming flood.
When all around my soul gives way,
He then is all my Hope and Stay.

When He shall come with trumpet sound,
Oh may I then in Him be found.
Dressed in His righteousness alone,
Faultless to stand before the throne.

** The header photo was taken at Avon-by-the Sea, New Jersey … August 5, 2012.

All of my life I have suffered from an ever increasing range of symptoms which became more severe as I grew older. At the age of 43, I was finally diagnosed as being extremely sensitive, in fact about 100 times more sensitive than the average person – all of my totally unrelated symptoms were allergies.

My body had reached crisis point. Within two years of this diagnosis my gallbladder was surgically removed. A year later I was diagnosed with an aggressive form of breast cancer – malignant multifocal infiltrating ductal carcinoma. I had the lump removed but refused chemotherapy; with the severe reactions that I had had in the past to western medication I felt that chemo would have been the end of me. That was six years ago, and although the tumour grew back and metastasised to my spine, much to the amazement of my doctors, I am still here!

I started researching all possible medical modalities. After reading about and meeting with people who had utilised Biological medicine, I travelled to the Paracelsus Clinic in Switzerland. Their diagnostic testing is superior to anything we have in Australia. The results from the tests showed, amongst many other issues, my parasympathetic (relaxation) and sympathetic (action) nervous systems were totally out of whack.

My sympathetic nervous system was shown to stay on permanent guard, suppressing my immune system and making me vulnerable to illness, and leaving me unable to fight diseases like cancer. In short I was constantly in fight or flight mode, unable to relax, unable to sleep. I had to learn to find a balance, to de-stress in order to give my body a chance to heal itself.

Back in Australia I discovered Universal Medicine, in particular Serge Benhayon. I decided to set up an appointment. The waiting list was unbelievable, over 10 months I think at the time. Thankfully, Serge understood that Stage 4 cancer waits for no man or woman, and he found time to slot me in.

From the moment I met Serge I connected strongly to him and his message. I felt an overwhelming sense of calmness, peace and sensibility in his presence, I felt heard and understood. In our sessions he used a combination of esoteric counselling and healing, chakra-puncture, and the holding of specific points. I have NEVER felt so relaxed! I had endeavored to achieve this same result over many years of attempted meditation, struggling to stop the constant chatter in my head. Much to my distress I always failed. Yet here I found a process that worked!  It relaxed my body… relaxed my body so deeply that my head followed suit. The constant chatter quietened, the stress relieved.

Serge’s views, I believe, come from the highest integrity. I can feel it in the way he talks and expresses himself and his philosophies. Without waxing too lyrical or turning Serge into some modern day saint, he is without doubt a reflection of true care and love. His desire to help humanity is only matched by his enormous level of integrity.

The good news is that since undertaking my sessions with Serge, it appears I have found a far better balance in my life. My sympathetic nervous system is now capable of relaxing. I have managed, without anxiety or exertion, to throw away the bad habits that my stressors craved and caused: no more cigarettes, chocolate and sleepless nights. No willpower or force was needed – I just stopped! I am calmer and have a far better skill-set to deal with my journey to health, hence a much more positive view of the future.  Whilst I still have my tumour, thanks to the treatment and skills Serge has given me I have been able to move forward with a better perspective. I now think, feel and act a lot more positively.

In conjunction with treatment via other holistic modalities, my cancer has halved in size. The complete healing process has a long way to go, but like my other treatments that I know to be successful, I will stick with Serge.

Every time I leave Universal Medicine I feel at peace with the world, my partner, my life and myself. The restoration of hope and faith in my life makes my journey a lot easier and I believe is a key factor in making a full recovery.

The abstract: http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/22943145

Acupuncture stimulation on GB34 activates neural responses associated with Parkinson’s disease.

Abstract

BACKGROUND:

Parkinson’s disease (PD) is a degenerative brain disorder that is caused by neural defects in the substantia nigra. Numerous studies have reported that acupuncture treatment on GB34 (Yanglingquan) leads to significant improvements in patients with PD and in PD animal models. Studies using functional magnetic resonance imaging (fMRI) have shown that patients with PD, compared to healthy participants, have lower neural responses in extensive brain regions including the putamen, thalamus, and the supplementary motor area.

OBJECTIVE:

This study investigated the reported association between acupuncture point GB34 and PD.

METHODS:

Using fMRI, neural responses of 12 patients with PD and 12 healthy participants were examined before and after acupuncture stimulation.

RESULTS:

Acupuncture stimulation increased neural responses in regions including the substantia nigra, caudate, thalamus, and putamen, which are impaired caused by PD.

CONCLUSIONS:

Areas associated with PD were activated by the acupuncture stimulation on GB34. This shows that acupuncture treatment on GB34 may be effective in improving the symptoms of PD. Although more randomized controlled trials on the topic will be needed, this study shows that acupuncture may be helpful in the treatment of symptoms involving PD.

As Hurricane Sandy bears down on my everyday world, I am anxiously watching all the details from the safe haven of my mother’s family room in central Indiana.  In August, my daughter and I purchased airline tickets to come see my mother for my annual birthday-month visit.  That trip began last Thursday as Kim, 6 month old Lillianne and Mimi flew into Indy just 24 hours prior to my mother having surgery to remove her gall bladder … which began consistently rearing its ugly and diseased head in the past 2 weeks.  Only God could have orchestrated such timing, allowing us to be present to help take care of my precious mom.

As the weather forecast developed over the past several days, our return flight back to the east coast, scheduled for last evening, was canceled.  So, here we are, ‘only’ expecting some high winds gusting to around 50 mph and some rain, watching as the news reports about those areas many miles away that we call home.   Prepared for power outages and extreme amounts of rainfall and wind, prayers are with our husbands and Cole as they honker down for whatever Sandy delivers.

Second Cousins
Jaxon 8 months and Lillianne 6 months

Our new departure is set for Wednesday morning, but we’ll see.  In the mean time, we are blessed with extra time with my mom, enjoying each giggle from Lillie, visits from family, and the satisfaction of personally knowing that Mom is healing and getting stronger each day.

Won’t you join me as we all pray for the safety of so many people affected by this storm?  Once home and able to do so, I’ll bring you the rest of the story …

Until then,
Debbie

So what’s been going on?

Well, honestly, surprisingly little. I mean, at least compared to what had been going on last time I posted. I’ve been working and keeping busy. I had to quit taking classes for the time being since I fall in that “donut hole” of making too much for good financial aid but not nearly enough to pay the difference. But that last quarter before I quit, I got on 4.0 Dean’s List. Very proud of myself. I’ve also started looking for another job to try and help make more money, to gain more experience, to get better benefits. It’s not that I don’t like my job, I do, but there is still so much in the nursing world to see and do that I just can’t where I’m at and the company I work for is so small their benefits are pretty terrible. My brother and I just started volunteering for CHA Animal Shelter and I’ve been fostering kitties for them for a little while. It’s a great organization, really. If you are in or around Columbus, Ohio, you should really check them out. And, finally, John and I’ve been working on getting this wedding planned with some major hiccups along the way. Families: we love them, even when they make life more difficult.

What ever happened with your health?

Well, I’ve been sans gall bladder for a while now and I’m definitely still learning what I can and can’t eat. Some of my food sensitivities have worsened (red meat, dairy, peanuts) and others are doing somewhat better (gluten). I don’t really know where the threshold for each food item is yet, but some things seem to have my whole system in knots with a couple bites and others take much more. I’m hoping as time goes on I’ll get it all sorted out.

I’ve also recently discovered I have what’s called Sjogren’s Syndrome. Remember that long list of weird symptoms I was having? Turns out, those that weren’t directly related to my gall bladder dying a most painful death can be explained by this lovely autoimmune disorder. The reason it flared so horribly when my gall bladder was dying? Well, like most autoimmune disorders, it’s initial severe onset is concurrent with another infection or system malfunction. I’d say what I had going on was a big old malfunction if there ever was one. There is no real treatment for Sjogren’s and it’s something I’m gonna have to deal with the rest of my life, but I’ve been learning tips and techniques to minimize the less pleasant symptoms. I’m also applying to be an awareness ambassador. I figure that by helping others learn about it, I’ll help myself as well.

So what’s all this mean for this blog?

Well, I think it means that I’m going to attempt to actually post more. I also think it means you should expect to see more posts discussing daily life, wedding planning, work, the job hunt, school, and everything in between. I’m still working very hard to lose weight and I’m sure recipes and weigh-ins will still pop up on here, but they definitely won’t be all you are seeing.

This was a 55 year old man with history of jaundice and upper abdominal pain .

GROSSLY DISTENDED GALL BLADDER

TOO MANY TUBES SIGN SUGGESTIVE OF BILIARY OBSTRUCTION

TOO MANY TUBES IN THE RT LOBE OF LIVER

TOO MANY TUBES WITH DISTENDED GB

DILATED COMMON BILE DUCT

MASS LESION IN THE HEAD OF THE PANCREAS

MASS IN THE HEAD OF THE PANCREAS

3 D RECONSTRUCTION OF MASS IN THE PANCREAS

Today, I went to see the hepatobilliary surgeon, Mr B (that’s the guy who looks after livers, gall bladders and bile ducts) – very nice guy but the news is my gall bladder is coming out! (I will be accepting flowers!)

But firstly, it is off for blood tests and an MRI of my liver (remember that lesion hanging around) because the surgeon may need to play there, too. (Quick aside for the Aussies among us: although we can (if we’re lucky) be bulk-billed for most MRIs, a liver MRI is not covered! It costs $555.00 and more, if you need to be sedated, like me!)

Mr B said that it didn’t look like any sort of cancer (YIPPEE!) but it could be 1 of 3 things (here’s my biology lesson for today):

• Cavernous hemangioma: the most common primary liver tumour; its occurrence in the general population ranges from 0.4-20%.  Importantly, these tumours are BENIGN, frequently asymptomatic and incidentally discovered at imaging, surgery, or autopsy. There are rarely any complications with this kind of tumour.

Seeing as I have something there – this would be the kind we want to hear about.

• Focal nodular hyperplasia (FNH): the second most common tumour of the liver. FNH is a process in which all the normal constituents of the liver are present but in an abnormally organized pattern. Once again, this kind is BENIGN, rarely symptomatic and there are rarely any complications with this kind of tumour.

Again, wouldn’t mind too much if this is what I have.

• Adenoma: uncommon BENIGN liver tumours that develop in an otherwise normal appearing liver. However, they can be known to bleed, rupture, bleed to become cancer. Once they are larger than 45-51 mm, 1 in 4 bleed or rupture and 1 in 20 become cancerous. This means that Mr B would be cutting and splicing my liver during the gallbladder operation.

Now for some very interesting information, adenomas were rarely reported before the advent of oral contraceptives (OCPs – the Pill) in the 1960s. Multiple studies have confirmed the association between the Pill and adenomas and have also demonstrated that the development of adenomas increased with the dose and duration of hormonal therapy. (Don’t you think some-one should tell us this stuff? I know there’s an increased chance of breast cancer because doctors have told me so I have that checked regularly; but, this little side effect has not reached my ears until today!)

The annual incidence is approximately 1 per 1,000,000 in women who have never used the Pill, compared to 30 to 40 per million in long-term users (more than 2 years). In a study comparing OCP use in 79 women with adenomas to 220 controls, the largest risk of development of hepatic adenoma occurred in women over the age of 30 years who had used OCPs for longer than 25 months, particularly those who had used OCPs with a high estrogenic component. Or as Mr B said females, on the Pill who are pre-menopausal.

Maybe I just need a sex change – men are diagnosed less often with Fibromyalgia, don’t go on the Pill and don’t have the wonderful experience that I hear menopause to be!

I’ll keep you updated (and if you’re lucky, I’ll tell you all about gallbladder surgery)…

Related articles

• (De)liver Me (fibromodem.wordpress.com)
• Top 9 Herbs for Liver Cleansing (lewrockwell.com)

Our run went great!  We had to slow ourselves down twice because we had the giddy-ups and found ourselves close to an 8:00 min/mile pace when this was supposed to be an easy run day.  As always, the company of Andrea C, Andrea J, and Marzia made the 4 miles fly by and put me in a great mood.  I tried my best to distract myself with stretching and checking emails before hopping in the shower to get ready for my appointment to take my mind off how thirsty and hungry I was!

As I sat in the waiting area of the Iowa Clinic Imaging Center, I felt a flutter of butterflies.  Afterall, I didn’t know what to expect.  I haven’t really experienced an ultrasound before.  I glanced around.  Did all the people in the waiting area and the receptionists assume I was an unwed single woman who was pregnant?  I sank down a little in my seat, feeling a little judged.  Then, my tummy started grumbling.  I was hungry!  I pulled out my phone and started reading work emails to distract my mind and (hopefully!) my tummy.

Finally, about 15 minutes past my appointment time, I was called back.  The Imaging Tech was so friendly and bubbly, it was contagious!  We started chatting right away.  She told me about her already busy morning as she smeared this ooey gooey gel all over my stomach.  She had gone to Kosama, already attended a meeting, and now was seeing patients.  I told her that I ran already and that I was starving, due to the instructions not to eat or drink anything.  Then, I asked her about her Kosama classes and she chatted away while she took pictures of these grey blobs on the screen.  Afterall, I have no clue what a gall bladder looks like.

Apparently though, it is located somewhere around your right rib cage.  I started noticing the pain shortly into it.  This chick was pressing down HARD!  And right into my rib cage!  Imagine someone sticking their fingers in between your ribs and then wiggling that finger around and around.  Yeah, sound pleasant?  How about having that experience before your morning coffee?  Thankfully, she moved the thingamabob that she was scanning the images with over my tummy.  But, then she pressed just as hard there.  And soon, had moved back over to my right rib area.  We continued chatting and I tried not to make a face.  I tried hard too because I am one of those people whose emotions are sprawled all over my face- I definitely do not play poker!  All of a sudden this weird, loud noise came out of the machine.  I thought maybe it was my tummy grumbling because I was so hungry!  So, I asked what that noise was and was told it was some pulmonary thing?  I really should have done a better job of listening and/or paying attention.  The Tech told me she was having a hard time capturing a good image of it and had me roll onto my side.  That didn’t work either, so I rolled back over and was told to hold my breath for a minute.  I started the countdown in my head and soon enough, I was given permission to breathe again.

It didn’t take long before it was over and I was given a towel to wipe away that ooey gooey gel.  Really, that stuff is pretty disgusting.  And it had gotten all over my shirt .  Ew!  As I sat up and waited for the go ahead to leave, I felt the ache in my side where my rib cage had been violated.  It’s still a little sore.  Maybe I’m just a big ol’ wimp.  But, there’s a chance I may form a bruise there .  Ok, maybe now I am just being a wimp…

As I walked out of the exam room, the Tech called out and wished me good luck in figuring out what is wrong with me.  Ha!  Gotta love it!  Are medical professionals supposed to wish patients “luck”? But hey, with all this rigamaroll in trying to pinpoint what’s wrong, I’ll take that wish of good luck!