In 1991 when I was 17 years old and a senior in High school, I was given an assignment to give a persuasive speech to my fellow students. The topic I chose: Gay Rights. As a young person living  in conservative Wisconsin, this seemed like a worthy topic, and something that seemed SO basic and easy to explain, but as it turned out, I didn’t persuade very many people. In fact I really angered quite a few folks. I should say that I am not gay, but just for suggesting that gay people ARE  people, and deserved a basic level of respect, I received a huge amount of grief from the community. A fellow classmate of mine punched me in the face, I got death threats written to me, and people left terrible mean messages on my family’s home phone machine, saying they were going to beat me up and cut off my hair (which was quite long at the time) etc… Being the stubborn person that I am and supported by a wonderful group of friends and family, I pushed back against that bad behavior and thumbed my nose at those people. Somehow I got my hands on a button that said “bend over, I”ll drive” I wore this to school and my friend Karl and I walked down the hallway holding hands. I was a rebellious young man and it felt at the time that I was making a difference, or at least I was speaking the truth in the face of bigots and that felt right. Looking back, I don’t think it changed anyones mind, or helped make any bit of a difference but I could hold my head high and know that I stood up for what was right.

Here I am now 22 years later living in RI and yesterday Governor Chaffee signed into law the Marriage Equality bill. I was on hand to see this historic gathering with a TON of Media, and about 1,000 other folks. It was a joyous and happy event. It is amazing to me that so much has changed in my lifetime. I can only hope things continue to move in the same direction for all people. Look at this couple  if you can’t read the notes they are wearing it says “waiting since 1976″ WOW

Gay Marriage finally reaches Rhode Island

“Event designer” Madeleine Kojakian, a.k.a. Maddy K

My ears perked up at a champagne dinner at the Hyatt Regency Hotel last week when host and event designer Madeleine Kojakian, founder of Maddy K Weddings & Events Atelier, told her guests that her 2013 edition of The Bridal Boudoir Affair is “all about sex.”

“You’re going to use that line, aren’t you?” Maddy told me afterwards when I asked her to explain how sexy her March 24 wedding show at the Hyatt will be.

“Well, for starters, the lingerie at our fashion show is going to very  sexy!” Maddy says. “Then I’m pushing the envelope a bit by having [Montreal’s Queen of Burlesque] Scarlett James perform, although we are going to tame her a bit! People need to be conscious about what kind of show this is – people who attend my Bridal Boudoir enjoy eye candy and being aurrounded by pretty things.”

Maddy’s fourth annual Bridal Boudoir Affair features an elegant “Great Gatsby” theme for upscale brides-to-be. The event will feature unique vendors showcasing “of-the-moment ideas” for couples – gay and straight – planning an event, “whether it’s a lavish dinner party or a once-in-a-lifetime wedding.”

Folks will be able to sample cocktails, finger food and desserts; meet with a personally-curated (by Maddy) collection of florists, caterers, musicians, décor specialists and jewelers. The fashion show will feature wedding gowns by Jenny Packham, Marchesa, Monique L’Huillier, Oscar de la Renta and Reem Acra. Click here for a list of all event vendors.

This year’s Bridal Boudoir will feature wedding gowns by Jenny Packham, Marchesa, Monique L’Huillier, Oscar de la Renta and Reem Acra.

There will also be a Men’s Lounge.

Says Maddy, “[Straight] men are usually dragged around and I want to change that and make the event as fun for them as it is for the women. So this year we’re introducing the Men’s Lounge where there will be grooming for men, catering and drinks. Scarlett James will also meet them in the lounge, and we’ll have the lingerie fashion show!”

As for her gay clients, Maddy has that covered too.

“I do gay weddings all the time and I think gay men more than [lesbian] women are really excited by the Boudoir,” she says. “They usually do smaller weddings, but they really like to up it. So I think they’ll appreciate this kind of event more than anybody else. And they will feel very much at home at my show because many of my suppliers are gay.”

But will there be any hot male models?

“Oh yes!” Maddy smiles. “They won’t be modeling lingerie, but they’re pretty hot too!”

Maddy K Events + Weddings Atelier presents the fourth edition of The Bridal Boudoir Affair at Montreal’s Hyatt Regency Hotel (1255 Jeanne Mance) on March 24, from 10 am to 6 pm.

Guest speaker Alison McGill (Editor-in-Chief of Weddingbells), a performance by Scarlett James and the fashion show are scheduled to begin at 1 pm. Admission: $20 per visitor online, $30 per visitor at the door. Click here for more info and tickets.

Click here for the official Maddy K Events + Weddings Atelier website.

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Their engagement pictures, shot by the amazing Cincinnati photographer Nikita Gross, and which I did the makeup for, were featured today on 4realequalityweddings.com

Here’s the link! http://4realequalityweddings.com/2013/03/07/7463/

So how many have wed since? State Department of Health figures indicate that at least 3,424 same-sex couples (six percent of the total number of weddings) have been married outside New York City as of mid-July, the Associated Press reports. And in New York City, roughly 5,054 marriage licenses were issued since February.

Also falling within this past year was President Barack Obama’s announcement publicizing his support for marriage equality. Even so, no state has yet to follow New York’s legalization of same-sex weddings.

> Read our coverage on the one-year anniversary of the bill’s passing

> We support same-sex marriage! See our guide to gay and lesbian weddings

Scandinavian Airlines was named Favorite airline at the EDGE Awards after 70,000 online votes had been cast. The annual competition features a number of categories within travel, lifestyle and entertainment, and is organized by one of the leading LGBT media houses in the US, Edge Media.

SAS edged out other LGBT-friendly airlines such as Air New Zealand, American Airlines, JetBlue, LAN Airlines and Virgin America/Virgin Atlantic to win the coveted title as Favorite airline. In 2010, SAS launched what became one of that year’s most successful global media campaigns, Love is in the air, which concluded with the world’s first gay and lesbian weddings in the air on a flight between Stockholm and New York. Late last year, SAS created a gay video version of its popular SAS Crew Guide concept featuring Anton Hysén, the young Swedish footballer player who came out last year and currently the favorite to win “Dancing with the Stars” in Sweden.

e-Travel Blackboard

i’m damned annoyed. how am i suppose to support my family when i have to sweat the small stuff.  like what if Jae gets sick, i may not be afforded the rights to be with her in the hospital right before a major surgery.

sn: does anyone have any idea how big of a fool i would act in that hospital if they said i couldn’t be with her?  i’m sure the police will be involved because i will NOT be civil if that situation ever presented itself.

the other day we were talking about having another child. and i had this crazy idea that maybe midway through the pregnancy we should take to a temporary sabbatical to a more progressive state in order to give birth and then go back home. that way our child could get a proper second parent adoption with two legal parents, without all the rigamaro. and then it hit me, am i seriously considering having my kid in another state just to secure ‘citizenship’? wow.

i thought these states were suppose to be united?

Defense of Marriage….what exactly is being defended? i’ll tell you what i defend. i defend my right to marry who i please. i defend my right to love, to pay taxes once not twice,  to take care of my family and be recognized as doing so, to be with Jae in the hospital or her with me, to adopt my own kid, to know if anything happens to me, Jae gets all our stuff automatically. i defend my right to be tied legally to the same person of my choice for the rest of my life. marriage is for EVERYone who wants to be. i defend my right marry.

by the way we are seriously working on moving to the DC area.

oh you want to know what you can do? well we support:

go ahead pick one or two and give your support. send’m a check. wear a white ribbon. vote yes for marriage equality. like their facebook pages so you can keep up with what’s going on. get pissed like me and do something! apparently the free-dom to marry aren’t going to come for free like they are suppose too. yeah, i guess that would be too much like right.

they, we, I need your support.

please and thank you.

-Em.

We bought a book.

The book we purchased was Gay and Lesbian Weddings. Planning the Perfect Same-Sex Ceremony by David Toussaint.

Gay and Lesbian Weddings

The Random House catalog notes: Comprehensive, fresh, and funny, Gay and Lesbian Weddings covers everything you need to know to plan the wedding of your dreams. Unlike other wedding planners, this one tackles the issues your heterosexual friends never had to consider. For instance, do you come out to Aunt Gloria before she receives the invitation and the shock of her life? Which father of the bride pays for a lesbian wedding? Who walks down the aisle first? Is it possible for members of the wedding party to be happy with what you force them to wear? (Okay, this is a universal problem.) Step-by-step and down-to-earth invaluable advice…

I’m glad they put ‘everything’ in italics for your humble blogger (else I may have misunderstood what they meant).  But the thing that sold me was that the front cover of Gay and Lesbian Weddings has a quote from Rita Mae Brown:

“If you’re going to tie the knot (so long as it’s not around your partner’s neck), this is the book for you.”  RITA MAE BROWN

Yep, it was dear Rita’s remark sold me on the book.  For those who don’t know, Rita Mae Brown – shame on you!  Rita wrote the wonderful novel, Rubyfruit Jungle (BTW is it true that a closeted Rita Mae Brown once dated a closeted Andrew (The Best Little Boy In the World) Tobias?  But I digress…).

Gay and Lesbian Weddings has chapters devoted to choosing a wedding style, the wedding party, and balancing the budget (we likely should have paid more attention to that chapter).   The most useful chapter for The Gay Groom was one entitled “The 12-Step Wedding Planner” (I find it amusing that weddings, like addiction recovery, have the same number of steps).  According to the book, the 12 steps of wedding planning are as follows: reception food and drink, cake, flowers, music, photography, formal wear, gift registry, rings, transportation, invitations, announcements, and grooming.  And your humble blogger has to admit that the book has provided helpful advice in all of these areas.

In fact their list of questions to ask the caterer was worth the $24.95 Canadian cost of the book.

Though their list of “50 classic tunes to get your crowd n the floor” may need some tweaking (“Boogie Oogie Oogie” and “Love Will Keep Us Together”?).

“Apparently it’s inappropriate to write gift registry information on the invitations,” the Partner said looking up from our Gay and Lesbian Wedding book.  “People are supposed to ask you where you’re registered.”

“Hell, everyone knows that,” I said, lying through my teeth.

45 days to go.

Jeffrey, The Gay Groom