Nothing brings in Christmas Cheer and the holiday spirit more than a young cute gay boy lip syncing a favorite Christmas song . It is a tradition as old as  the candy cane.

Two middle-aged men, just coming from their Midtown marketing and finance jobs, walk into the bar.  They gayze around at the other men in the bar, do not find what they’re looking for and head up the stairs to the second floor.  I’m standing there.

I see they are in their mid-thirties and have the gay middle-aged combo: muscular arms and a slight tummy paunch–youth on the way out and age on the way in, respectively.  I greet them with a light “how are you, let me know if I can get you anything”.  That’s the custom of America, New York City: give it to them with a totally chill, mild interest.

“A mojito for me,” the sandy blond one says.  I give an “I’m in control and joking about it” nod.
“Um, what’s your special today, like liquor or something?” The brunette asks a little embarrassed.
“Ketel One, seven dollars.”
“Hmm.  I’ll have that on the rocks with a splash of cranberry.”
“Sounds good,” I say and make sure to look them both in the eyes with a slight smile.  I stay just for one second extra as though I have something I have to confess to them.  Then I dash away and remind them my job is nothing more than to bring people drinks.

And this continues.  Okay.  You’re probably wondering why the fuck I am writing this.  Well, it’s because I’m finally reading Memoirs of a Geisha.  It’s a bit of stretch, but I could really relate to those high, high class whores.  Here I am working in a bar in NYC and it is my job to serve liquor in a calm, efficient and responsible manner first and foremost.  However, if I weren’t cute, I wouldn’t be doing that there.  I would work at an establishment that does not depend the attractiveness of the room to draw clientele.

This is no secret to anyone who goes to a bar.  But it was startling to see the similarities between this culture and that of the geisha.  If I may be so bold, I feel especially aware of this because at my bar, my sales and tips are higher than the other waiters.  I really understand how to serve and flirt.

Let me go back to the opening of this blog entry.  To lie to a man you must first know how to tell the truth.  So I looked at these men and gathered what I could about them.  Then, with an honest description of myself (I’m 26, just past youth and settling into adulthood, with a fairly cute face and smile and an in shape body that some people may look at and say “He’s cute, but he should just work out such and such part of him a little more.”), I deduced how they would probably react to me.

Most men who are less attractive (or perceive themselves that way) usually react on the surface with indifference towards me because they are afraid of showing any interest and then being rejected.  Attractive men (or men who feel they are) will usually show interest if they feel it, or simply be polite if they don’t think I’m attractive.  This was very surprising for me to discover because I was so confused why what we would typically call unattractive men were sometimes hostile to me while attractive men were so nice.  Then I added human fear into the equation.  And perhaps the biggest human fear, sometimes more than death, is rejection.

Please understand that I am not imbuing myself with self-importance.  I am just sharing with you what was a surprising fact to me about how people generally work.  And this is one of the many things geisha had to understand: how do people react to you?

Beyond this, geisha had to be beautiful.  Given that I just joined David Barton Gym, the gay beauty house, I am all the more committed to that.  It feels a little self-indulgent, but taking care of your body is not a sin and does mentally build my strength.

Geisha also had to excel in different arts.  Well, while working in a gay bar, most of the time those skills are not called on.  However, that does not mean customers are not interested in knowing your talents (um, other than the sexual ones).  I am asked more times than I can count in a single day “are you a dancer?” or “are you an actor?” or “what do you do?”.  It makes me wonder what it would be like to open a high-class tea-house in NYC where those serving liquor are well-versed in conversation and arts and entertain those with money (and flirt with them of course).  I think this terribly fascinating!  It would certainly serve as an extra income source and training ground for artists and would provide a chance for patrons of bars and the arts to get a classier experience than at a strip joint and give them something more intimate than going to the theater.

So, studying geisha (I have studied many Japanese arts in the past; I love Noh theater and did a Noh play once) have opening up another dimension of the bard revival: sex appeal.  That is something that should never be taken lightly because we are sexual creatures. The nature of what we may be performing may safer than than watching Thomas the Train, but that does not mean your audience has stopped thinking sexual thoughts.  Be aware of your sexual influence.  Be in control of it.  It pays.

LMAO!!!!   I love this!

Thank you Feast of Fun for this one!

Great song, Hot video!  Adam Lambert has brought life back to the music industry

There is one thing about Adam Lambert, when he does a performance he really puts it out there and people talk. I am sure that people are either going to love or hate his AMA performance  but boy will they be talking about it.  I mean he stole the stage from everyone, including Lady Gaga.

Controversial… You betcha.   No apologies needed, Adam!

This is pretty good for the kid who placed First Runner Up in last season’s American Idol. He  took a track called “For Your Entertainment”  from his new album to be released Monday, Nov. 23rd today!!! and cranked it up several notches for the stage.

America, you have not seen anything yet. Lambert mania has just begun!

He just burned up the AMA’s and is ready to set the world on fire!

Mr. Fry, you're staring at me... It's making me a bit uncomfortable...

Look, I know I’m biased. I’m gay, an Anglophile, and an atheist… not to mention passingly fond of good acting, tasteful and well-turned phraseology, and cunning, cutting, catty humour.

All that said, well… I adore Stephen Fry. He’s one of the few people who give me hope. Hope that intelligent people have not completely disappeared from public view. Hope that more brave and daring people like him will stand up to speak for what is right and just, against that which is hypocritical and false. Hope that I, bipolar, gay, and atheist though I am, might yet have some sort of positive effect on this wondrous world we live in.

Mr. Fry, I salute you.

To learn more about Stephen Fry, you can go to these sites, and I highly recommend that you do ^^

Stephen Fry’s official site, created and maintained by himself and… someone else… ^^

Stephen Fry’s Wikipedia entry

Stephen Fry’s Internet Movie DataBase page

And an example for those of you who haven’t seen him in action… culled from many, many examples, and not by far the best, but simply the one I chose. ^^

Javier and Chris

A Gay Couple named Chris and Javier

Wanda Sykes

There is a new kid on the Late Night Show circuit and she has turn it upside down and put life into the genre.  I wish it was not only on on Saturday nights. It is the Wanda Sykes Show.

Yes, there is an Open Bar on the set.  Yes there is a super size Vanna White type Drag Queen assistant named Portia.  Yes, she has  prolific sidekick, Keith Robinson.  However, it is the no holds bar comedic style that is signature Wanda that makes this show work and makes it so fresh. It is also a very liberal  oasis on a network called Fox.

Sykes offers a catharsis of sorts for a nation wearied by the barrage of news from economic turmoil to foreign policy debates.  Her humor is biting and intelligent.  I found myself just laughing and enjoying the Wanda Sykes ride .  I mean I have not enjoyed a late night show like this one for a long time.

We need her voice and I hope she is around for a long time.

After a recent check-in at Turner Classic Movies from a long hiatus – and isn’t THAT a good one! – it’s apparent that TCM has all but Come Out of The Closet and gone Full-Blown Gay Classics.

TGC – Turner Gay Classics.

It works.

If it’s arch, if it can be gayly mocked, if it has gay icons, if the female leads are popular among the gay cross-dressers,  even Romans in costumes, you can find it on TGC/TCMGG ( Turner Classic Movies Gone Gay).

*******************

Dudes.

Just cum out and make it clear.

Then you can stop mocking Middle America.

**********************

Oh.

But THAT’D take all the fuhn outta it.

**********************

And now we’ll toss in Seinfeld’s classic in/out joke – “Not that there’s anything WRONG with it.”

And for those who took that line at face value – they usually get a face shot.

Spellin’ it outta the straight man’s mouth: It was a twist on the politically correct thing to say.

In an effort to “get back to the legacy” of Morehouse leaders, Morehouse College is now implementing a strict dress code. “We expect our young men to be renaissance men”, said Dr. William Bynum, vice president of the Office Of Student Services.

The policy details 11 expectations of students, including:
* no caps, do-rags and/or hoods in classrooms, the cafeteria, or other indoor venues
* no sun glasses worn in class or at formal programs
* no jeans at major programs, as well as no sagging pants on campus
* no clothing with derogatory or lewd messages either in words or pictures
* no wearing of clothing usually worn by women (dresses, tops, tunics, purses, pumps, etc.) on the Morehouse campus or at college-sponsored events.
Students that violate the new rules risk academic suspension.

For the most part the students are on board with the new rules & regulations. Cameron Thomas-Shah,  the student government co-chief of staff, is one of them. While working as a resident’s assistant (RA) he said he noticed freshmen dressed in a way that was unflattering to Morehouse. “The image of a strong black man needs to be upheld,” he said. “And if anyone sees this policy as something that is restrictive then maybe Morehouse is not the place for you.” Of course there will be resistance. Daniel Edwards, co-president of Safe Space, a gay straight alliance student campus organization said he has heard from students that are for and against the policy, but he believes it is discriminatory. It is the restriction to women’s clothing that has many students up in arms. “Some believe that this restriction is what the entire policy is correlated around,” added Edwards. “It is all an issue of perception and what manner of image you want to prescribe to.” But the new policy is not meant to be discriminatory, said Bynum. “This is necessary, this is needed according to the students,” he said. “We know the challenges that young African-American men face. We know that how a student dresses has nothing to do with what is in their head, but first impressions mean everything.”

A member of the Black Ivy League, Morehouse College is a private, all male, historically black college in Atlanta, Georgia. One of the two black colleges in the country to produce Rhode Scholars, Morehouse serves as the alma mater of Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King, Spike Lee, Edwin Moses, & Maynard Jackson to name a few.

I am all for the dress code. In the age of President Obama I am embarrassed anyone has to tell Black folks how to dress. Gay or Straight, I want my Black Brothers back & I’m so tired of living in an era where they want to be anything but MEN. Over grown ass “boys” bobbin’ around with twisted caps, saggin’ pants, & over priced sneakers referring to themselves as “Li’l ____”, or “Young ____”.  I know guys in their 40’s who are still being called “Jr.” And NOT by their parents. C’mon Son! It’s as though a lot of my brethren have a fear of growing up, yet still want the title, respect & accolades of being a responsible adult. And this style of dress has nothing to do with true Hip-Hop Culture. This is prison culture which has crept in & is now passing itself off as authentic Black culture. If you do not wish to be profiled as a criminal you need not dress like one. Image is everything. And although the image is not an accurate depiction of the inward person, it Is an accurate depiction of what you want to project. Do better.

The cross dressers- Lord hold my mule. Unless you are working in the entertainment industry, leave your mama’s dress, shoes, blouse, purse, wig, lipstick, eyeshadow, fake lashes, & lee press on nails at HOME! There is no place for it here. I don’t begrudge anyone for feeling how they feel. If that is truly how you feel comfortable then so be it. But just know there is a time & place for everything. Every establishment- whether written or unwritten- has some sort of dress code. I wouldn’t wear my Sunday’s best to the “Boom Boom Room”. And I certainly wouldn’t wear my “Pop Lock & Drop It” outfit to the Parent Teacher Meeting. We all desire to be comfortable, but what image are you presenting? And are you willing to be treated as such? Don’t put something out there you really aren’t ready to wear. Just like folks will compliment when you look great, they will Dis when you don’t. And when you start to look Full- Fledged Ridiculous, never mind …



Personally speaking I’ve always been a B-Girl. When you’re as heavily engrossed in Hip-Hop as I am you embrace every aspect of the culture, including the fashion. I’ve always been a “’round the way” girl; the type with extensions in her hair, bamboo earrings at least two pair. I went through the Multi Colored phase, the Afro-centric phase, the Gangsta Bitch phase, The “Bling Bling” phase, and NOW, it’s Grown Gangstress. 30+ I had to switch it up. However, I stayed close to the culture, changing & growing with the times. Through it all I’ve always been ME. When going to church with mom every Sunday I’d tone it down. Still allowed to wear my Flava Flav clock medallion, I’d wear smaller earrings & bracelets. I still maintained my identity while being “Holy Ghost Appropriate”. But even had mom stripped me naked my essence wouldn’t have changed. In corporate attire, a nun’s habit, or a bozo the clown outfit, I’d still be Hip-Hop! So I don’t see the problem.

Bottom line: when are we gonna stop with this B.S. politically correct mess & start drawing some lines in the sand? When are we going to start having definitive guidelines as to what’s right & what’s wrong? Sure, no one is professional all the time. But if you know how to get your “fresh” together for the club, or just hanging out, certainly you know the proper dress for work & school. We’re all free to be who we want to be on our own time. I can’t wear a low cut blouse in the work place, my girls would be a huge distraction. Fair enough. Then guys should not be showing me their full derriere. And if I can’t come to work with my big “Jinglin’ Baby” earrings on and conducting myself like my name is “Jawakatema”, my brothers from the other side of the struggle should not be twirling around like “Priscilla, Queen Of The Desert”. In order to have better, we must DO better. Get It Right People.



What Do Y’all Think? Let Mother Know …

-”The BklynBandette”. Mr. Hollywood’s Co-Defendant.

…a decade ago
Masked force for justice prowls the night
Kicking some serious ass
Great red splash
-Oh, one of those neighborhoods!
Gangsta rap thugs
Dragged through the mud
Bodies in the street because we must

…later
In the orange sunshine
This sphere assigned
Superhero softer than a man
Unapologetic, unashamed
Looking upward
We are Night and Day

Ian Baynham murdered in homophobic attack

Ian Baynham, 62, was set upon by feral two teenage girls after a night out on 28 September. Repeatedly kicked, he spent the subsequent weeks in the Royal London Hospital until his life support machine was turned off last night.

The heinous nature of this crime will revolt any right thinking citizen. It’s the top story on today’s Evening Standard website and is sprawled across all the papers. The online editorials are full of outraged comments and the so called ‘gay community’ are rightly reacting with incensed horror.

The question, however, is why has it taken so long to provoke this reaction? Why, when the attack occurred back in September, did it not receive the coverage it deserved? I am not referring just to the mainstream press, but to our gay press.

I am talking, of course, about the gay press that is available to the largest audience – the scene magazines anyone can pick up in the bars and clubs. The magazines that are more concerned with peddling the intimidating body fascism, untapped hedonism and commercialism that reduces the gay experience to the relentless, topless posing of lost, drug addled nights.

I am referring to the pages dominated by the club promoters who hold themselves up as champions of the ‘gay community’, the same people who wheel GHB casualties out of the back door to avoid undesired publicity, their one concern being the fall of their own egotistical slice of Babylon.

The fact is that when attacks like this happen these kind of magazines are loath to surrender more than a few centimetres of their sex fuelled advertising space to one of the most pertinent and serious threats to gay Londoners’ safety and liberty in decades.

It was the responsibility of gay London to react to the assault on Ian Baynham when it happened back in September. Moreover, it was the responsibility of the free gay press to ensure it had the coverage that it so warranted. Their duty was to bring this lethal trend of homophobia to the forefront of our minds and to direct and galvanise our reactions to it.

That, however, is the function of a community press and there is little left of the gay community in London. It has been reduced to a twisted march of lust and greed. The marchers, of course, look beautiful in the latest D&G and Gucci, but have now spent so long oiling their perfectly buffed bodies and squeezing into their Aussie Bums that they have forgotten to carry their placards.

Nor are they walking together anymore. After all it’s pretty tough to co-ordinate body movements when you’re off your head on Ketamine. Instead they bump into each other once in a while, rarely speaking and often barely looking at each other. Why squander time doing that when you can just grope at what’s bulging through the trunks?

Today’s gay scene is quick, easy and devoid of consequences. There’s no need to think about feelings or care. It’s considered a waste of energy and, more to the point, it doesn’t sell. It is not fashionable to make feelings visible.

Why then has the care gone? In an age where gays enjoy unprecedented visibility and rights and where HIV can be treated with pills, the political fire is dying out. Complacency is becoming the watchword of our age. Why face up to the unpalatable realities which still exist when it is so much easier, and more fun to bask with reckless abandon in the triumphs that an earlier generation won for us?

Ian Baynham’s death reminds us that if we do not reignite this fire and fight to regain the courageous kinship of the past we risk extinction once more.

There are people in gay London who recognise this and are stirring us into action once more. Just two weeks ago Half Way To Heaven, the pub in the street near where Ian Baynham was attacked, held a benefit for the Albert Kennedy Trust. It was in honour of the birthday of David Morley who was brutally murdered in a similar homophobic attack in 2004.

The camaraderie in the air was awe inspiring and the convergence of defiant spirit truly heartrending. For just a few hours in that crammed pub a sense of thoughtfulness, humanity and belonging had returned to gay London.

As the proud punters sauntered up to the bar, their eyes rested on a notice about another recent homophobic attack in the same area. It emboldened them more still. The sad thing was that for many it was the first time they had been alerted to the senseless events that would leave the unnamed victim dead just weeks later.