gazza « WordPress.com Tag Feed

England On The Net, 27/11/09

jackschiavi — Sat, 28 Nov 2009 00:22:40 +0000

by Jack Schiavi

Chris Kirkland

1. Football 365 – Fergie believes Wes Brown is the “best natural defender in the country”.

Brown has struggled since returning this season and needs to improve his performances to prove Fergie right. With England’s right back slot still open Brown has a chance to be starting at the World Cup.

2. BBC – Arsenal’s Kieran Gibbs out for three months.

This is gutting news for Gibbs and for England. With Gael Clichy out this was Gibbs’ chance to make a real push for a World Cup space.

3. Telegraph – John Terry for sale as Chelsea and England captain touts for business.

And he doesn’t get paid enough already. Concentrate on the football John – if you win the World Cup you’ll get all the endorsements you ever wanted.

4. Daily Mail – Gazza offered coaching lifeline by Peter Beardsley.

Gazza coaching youngsters? He’s probably not the best example to follow. A surprise appointment even at Newcastle.

5. Daily Telegraph – Kirkland is England’s best says Steve Bruce.

Bruce praises the injury prone goalkeeper, this on the back of Wigan’s 9-1 loss on Sunday.

Cheryl Cole and Gazza perform in charity events

totalcherylcole — Sat, 14 Nov 2009 15:01:15 +0000

GEORDIE stars Cheryl Cole and Paul Gascoigne have shown their skills at two charity events.

X Factor judge Cheryl took to the stage for a star- studded Children in Need gig at London’s Royal Albert Hall.

And former Newcastle United and England midfielder Gazza was back on the pitch for a Help for Heroes football match.

Heaton-born Cheryl, 26, joined legends including Annie Lennox, Dame Shirley Bassey and Sir Paul McCartney for the fundraiser, which also saw boy band Take That reunited with Robbie Williams for the first time.

Robbie joined his former bandmates on stage – but they stopped short of performing together.

Cheryl performed her debut solo single, Fight for This Love, as well as teaming up with Irish indie-rockers Snow Patrol to sing Set The Fire To The Third Bar.

She wore a long white dress for the duet with the festival favourites.

Meanwhile, Gazza spoke of his admiration for British soldiers fighting in Afghanistan at the Help for Heroes game.

Hosted at Reading’s Madejski Stadium, the match was between an England team and a Rest of the World XI, including World Cup winner Lothar Matthaus.

Alongside them were celebrities such as pop star Simon Webbe, boxers Nigel Benn and Joe Calzaghe, and rugby stars Kyran Bracken, Justin Marshall and Kenny Logan.

After being substituted in the second half former Magpies midfielder Gazza said: “It’s good to do something for the lads out there, hopefully they will be coming home soon.

“I just wanted to do something. I’m feeling good at the moment and its great to see all the old stars here today, like Lothar.”

But sadly the England squad couldn’t come back from being 3-0 down, and the match finished with a 4-1 win for the Rest of the World.

All money raised from the event will go to Help for Heroes, which raises money for injured service men and women.

:: An eBay auction for a 2005 Harley Davidson formerly owned by Gazza has ended. But Westgate Road- based dealer M&S Motorcycles refused to confirm whether the minimum reserve of £15,000 had been met.

Source

Om Eric Cantona --- & litt om en annen tøffing

Eline — Thu, 12 Nov 2009 23:54:26 +0000

Min far ringte meg tidligere i dag:

“Vi [mamma & pappa] skal på kino i kveld - vil du være med?”

“Nei.”

“Vi skal se <<Looking for Eric>>.”

“Nei.”

“Den Cantona-filmen vet du.”

“Jeg er med!”

Det skal sies at jeg ikke hadde noe videre forhold til Cantona før jeg så filmen, men tanken på å se en fotballfilm med en ekte fotballstjerne i en av rollene, var rett & slett fullstendig forlokkende. Altså, jeg husker jo at Cantona spilte som nummer 7 på United & at han var en jævlig dyktig spiller; at han ble kastet ut av fotballen fordi han lagde bråk, samt at vi alle sprang rundt på barneskolen og sang:

“Oh, Ah, Cantona.”

Filmen handler om en arbeiderklassemann i England som i grunn er litt tafatt. Den ene stesønnen hans er involvert i et helvettes styr & situasjonen denne protagonisten befinner seg i virker veldig håpløs. Men han har gode venner på postkontoret som forsøker så godt de kan å få ham på bedre tanker. Dette leder igjen til at Cantona, protagonistens største helt, kommer ut av intet & hjelper ham med kloke ord & dét som er. Filmen var jævlig fin, av flere ulike grunner, men mest av alt fordi tross alt shiten som hendte, satt en igjen med en god følelse hele veien. Og Cantona, som lui-même, var rett & slett jævlig fet.

Hvor enn mye det smerter mitt Chelsea-hjerte å si det, må jeg bare få uttrykt hvor fantastisk fet Eric Cantona er. Fyren lirer av seg gullkorn hele tiden, & jeg tror jeg med sikkerhet kan si at han er den eneste mannen på jord som er heit, tross dét faktum at han har unibrow. Av geniale sitater er det særlig ett han er kjent for & jeg må si jeg lo jævlig godt da de viste det på lerretet på slutten av filmen.

25. januar 1995 (puh, ikke den 20.!) ble nemlig Cantona sendt av banen under en fotballkamp. Crystal Palace-supporteren Matthew Simmons slang med leppa fra tribunen & sekunder senere kung-fu’et Cantona denne idioten. Bruce Lee ville ha vært stolt.

Cantona ble dømt for hendelsen & fikk vel et års karantene hvor han ikke fikk lov til å sette sin fot på en fotballbane i England & Wales. Det ble senere innkalt til pressekonferanse hvor Cantona, vel… Han kom inn i rommet, satte seg ned, lirte av seg et brilliant sitat — helt rolig, før han reiste seg & gikk igjen. Veni, vidi, vici så det holder:

Og Cantona har flere andre geniale gullkorn:

“My best moment? I have a lot of good moments but the one I prefer it when I kicked the hooligan.”

Jeg har tydeligvis en greie for villbasser på fotballbanen. De som kjenner meg godt vet hvor glad jeg er i Vinnie Jones — som i alle fall var innom riktig lag. Mannen ble sendt av banen 12 ganger i løpet av sin karriere & én gang mottok han gult kort kun 3 sekunder ut i kampen — noe som, kanskje ikke overraskende, fremdeles står som rekord. Som min far bemerket:

“Han spesialiserte seg jo på å banke opp folk på banen!”

Og han gjorde i grunn dét. Hans, kanskje ikke stolteste, men definitivt artigste øyeblikk på banen var da han i 1987 tok et grepa tak om testiklene til Gazza, sånn just for the heck of it. Vinnie Jones, mann. Vinnie Jones!

Virtual Gaza

Marcus O'Donnell — Fri, 06 Nov 2009 00:13:57 +0000

An image conversation project on Gaza from he Alliance for Justice in the Middle East at Harvard University and the MIT Center for Future Civic Media

Virtual Gaza is an independent, civic media initiative established by a collective of scholars, media activists and Palestinian residents of Gaza in response to the Israeli assault on the Gaza Strip in December 2008-January 2009.

For years, Israel has been gradually tightening its strangehold on the 1.5 million Palestinians living in the Gaza Strip, sealing its borders and cutting off adequate food, fuel, and medical supplies, bringing the economy and infrastructure to the point of collapse.

Israel has also sought to control how Gaza’s story is told to the outside — from its sophisticated ‘public relations’ campaigns to blocking the entry of foreign journalists.

Virtual Gaza is a space where ordinary Palestinians under siege can describe their experiences in their own words, and where the destruction of the Gaza strip can be documented by those experiencing it directly. The diary entries, photographs, and video material gathered here have been contributed by residents of Gaza. For safety reasons, authors are located in neighborhoods but their precise location is not shown.

Virtual Gaza invites you to help break the information blockade.

Student Movement

nohra — Wed, 28 Oct 2009 21:31:59 +0000

The spirit of being a student in the 21 century has long lost its resonance. The ideals of peace and freedom are not the focus of life anymore. In taking stock of the world, ‘I have been having the urgency to get out and shout how I feel lately’. Looking back to the 1960s and 70s, one cannot help but feel ashamed of being called an educated university student. Where did the student movement and protests go? Is the opposition of political and social orthodoxy really that old-fashioned?

Reminiscing through old youth protests, one basic fact kept popping up; the government should serve the people, not the other way around. The new generation of students has absolutely no interest in anything that requires a bit of struggle. UH students are painfully illiterate in regard to both domestic and world issues.

The University of Houston, the playground of a diverse pool of ethnic intellectuals, poses as a community with little or no students influence. Maybe high tuition fees, student debts, and the neglect of student rights are not enough reasons to raise an eyebrow. Texas of all places should have more eyebrows raised. So, why are students in other universities more involved? Are they more ‘hip’? Jealousy is brewing, news flash from the likes of the University of Chicago and California showed a great deal of student involvement.

The news flooded with students protests from around the world in response to the inhumane attack on Gaza; yet walking the UH campus on December 2008, one can scarcely see any signs of knowledge of the Gaza Trauma. The Gaza genocide was labeled as “the most brutal and violent attack against humanity in the 21 century” by the UN High Commissioner for Human Rights. Maybe a pile of too many exams, work, and a girlfriend or a boyfriend prevented the student body from reading the news.

One cannot neglect the few student organization that tried to raise awareness but UH needs more involvement to play with the big dogs.

Ehud Olmert, the previous prime minister of Israel who approved the Gaza attack, made several appearances to the US in early October. He has been met with strong protests at locations including the University of Chicago, Tulane University, and the University of Kentucky. The protests were organized by CODEPINK Women for Peace, CAL Students for Justice in Palestine, Bay Area Women in Black and Students for Justice in Palestine (SJP).

Let’s ask this, why did Olmert endure giving speeches in such places packed with groups opposing his government? Simple, Student voices mobilize the country’s politics.

So why aren’t the students mobilizing? Do not give the ‘too busy’ excuse, students in the 1960s had it much worst.

ALTRO SHOW DI GAZZA: FERISCE E BACIA UN BUTTAFUORI

cartellinorosso — Tue, 20 Oct 2009 14:46:36 +0000

Prima ha dato una testata al buttafuori di un pub di Newcastle che gli aveva fatto notare che non si poteva fumare all’interno della sala biliardo del locale poi è tornato indietro e per scusarsi ha baciato l’uomo, Paul Hindle, un ex soldato di 30 anni, sulla guancia. Paul Gascoigne non riesce a tenersi lontano dai guai. La scena della testata è stata ripresa dalle telecamere a circuito chiuso del locale e le immagini sono state diffuse dal sito internet del The Sun.

Hindle ha deciso di non denunciare Gascoigne. “Sono sopravvissuto a Bassora senza neanche un graffio – ha raccontato l’ex militare – poi arrivo a Newcastle e vengo colpito da Gascoigne. Non riuscivo a crederci. Mi ha fatto male, ho avuto mal di testa per un giorno intero”.

Gascoigne al suo arrivo nel locale ha ordinato una birra poi ha sfidato il proprietario del locale Adam Gladstone ad una partita a biliardo. “Abbiamo cominciato a giocare – ha raccontato Gladstone – ma era evidente che Gazza fosse ubriaco”. Il giorno dopo aver colpito il buttafuori “Gazza” è tornato nel locale per chiedere scusa al proprietario. “Sono dispiaciuto per quanto accaduto la notte scorsa” le parole di Gascoigne. “Gli ho detto – ha spiegato Gladstone – che doveva scusarsi direttamente con il buttafuori, ma non l’ha fatto. A questo punto – ha concluso – non lo voglio più nel mio locale, deve assumersi le responsabilità delle sue azioni”.

Turkey asks Israel to end Gaza 'tragedy'

ayhanyilmaz — Sat, 17 Oct 2009 22:41:36 +0000

Turkey Asks Israel to Finish Gazza Tragedy

ANKARA – Agence France-Presse

Israeli Ambassador Gabby Levy in Ankara on Friday. AA photo
Turkey urged Israel Friday to end the “humanitarian tragedy” in Gaza, saying ties between the two allies cannot recover if Palestinians continue to suffer and peace talks remain dead in the Middle East.

“Ending the humanitarian tragedy in Gaza, reviving peace efforts – on both, the Palestinian and Syrian track – and more importantly, reinstating a prevailing spirit of peace in the region… this is what we want,” Foreign Minister Ahmet Davutoğlu told reporters.

“When there is a return to the peace track, these relations of trust [with Israel] will be re-established to the same level as before,” he said.

Israel’s ties with its chief regional ally took a sharp downturn last week when Ankara excluded the Jewish state from annual joint military exercises, prompting a rebuke from the United States.

The row flared Thursday as Israel summoned the Turkish envoy to protest a Turkish state television series, which it condemned as “inciting hatred against Israel” and “not worthy of being broadcast even in an enemy state.”

Davutoğlu said that Israel’s recent war on Gaza “killed the peace perspective” in the Middle East and caused ongoing turmoil in the devastated Palestinian enclave.

He made it clear, Ankara was still bitter that the war also disrupted indirect peace talks between Israel and Syria which Turkey had been mediating, “with so much effort.”

“As long as the human tragedy in Gaza continues, no one should expect us to be part of a military picture” with Israel, he said, referring to the scrapped military drills.

“Although no single rocket has been fired on Israel from Gaza over the past eight months, children in Gaza have no schools to go to, people have no homes to take shelter in,” he said.

Davutoğlu rejected suggestions that his government, the moderate offshoot of a now-banned Islamist party, was becoming anti-Israeli.

“The humanitarian situation [in Gaza] should be improved in the shortest possible time. How can hoping for this amount to being anti-Israeli? This is a humanitarian attitude,” he said.

Earlier, Deputy Prime Minister Bülent Arınç said the television series infuriating Israel had no political motive, but conceded the plot might be “a bit exaggerated,” Anatolia news agency reported.

The first episode, aired Tuesday, showed Israeli forces shooting a little girl and a newborn baby, and portrayed them as insulting and ridiculing Palestinians.

Arınç defended the production, saying its ultimate message, when concluded, would be one of peace.

Culture Minister Ertuğrul Günay disagreed, saying, “our artists and series must not fuel tensions… and create the impression that there are problems between our peoples as a whole.”

Israeli Ambassador Gabby Levy met with a senior foreign ministry official to once again convey his country’s “disappointment and concerns” over the programme, Anatolia news agency reported.

Israel’s hawkish Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu said Thursday the latest developments “raised the question: what direction is Turkish policy taking? We hope it is toward strengthening peace and not extremists.”

Turkish Prime Minister Recep Tayyip Erdoğan has been at the forefront of international criticism of the Gaza offensive.

In an unprecedented outburst, he stormed out of a debate at the World Economic Forum in January, accusing Israel of “barbarian” acts and telling Israeli President Shimon Peres, sitting next to him, that “you know well how to kill people.”

The Palestinian struggle for statehood enjoys widespread support in Turkey, among both, Islamists and leftists.

In contrast to its souring ties with Israel, Erdoğan’s government has markedly improved ties with Syria and sought closer relations with Iran, an arch-enemy of the Jewish state.

The Musician, the Surgeon and the Cure

Zephyr Bloch-Jorgensen — Thu, 15 Oct 2009 01:14:00 +0000

I have been thinking about the nature of intelligence, our ability to collaborate, and the the seductive quality of reactivity and what the world could look like if we each committed to our own optimal performance. From my perspective it is the protracted environments like the mentality on Wall Street, the suffering of Gaza, and the risk of disrespecting our planet that are the real test and calling of our times.

I have believed for a long time that a new way of engaging ourselves and each other may be emerging, which could lead to unprecedented well-being on a global scale. Crises are always a part of this kind of emergence because it is only in crisis that vigorous dialogue occurs on a major scale. But what does this posture look like? How can we apply it to protracted commercial and political situations? And, how can we apply it at home with those we love and yet have become distant.

Two people on different parts of the earth with totally different histories and experiences may provide us with a clue – a musician and a surgeon both pushing the boundaries of thought. The musician proposed a new way to look at intelligence and how it operates. The surgeon offered a solution to overcome the chronic protraction of Gaza, most noticeably through his own example. With their thinking married perhaps we may have a cure…

The Musician

Brian Eno had this to say recently on the nature intelligence:

“I was an art student and, like all art students, I was encouraged to believe that there were a few great figures like Picasso and Kandinsky, Rembrandt and Giotto and so on who sort-of appeared out of nowhere and produced artistic revolution.

As I looked at art more and more, I discovered that that wasn’t really a true picture.

What really happened was that there was sometimes very fertile scenes involving lots and lots of people – some of them artists, some of them collectors, some of them curators, thinkers, theorists, people who were fashionable and knew what the hip things were – all sorts of people who created a kind of ecology of talent. And out of that ecology arose some wonderful work.

The period that I was particularly interested in, ’round about the Russian revolution, shows this extremely well. So I thought that originally those few individuals who’d survived in history – in the sort-of “Great Man” theory of history – they were called “geniuses”. But what I thought was interesting was the fact that they all came out of a scene that was very fertile and very intelligent.

So I came up with this word “scenius” – and scenius is the intelligence of a whole… operation or group of people. And I think that’s a more useful way to think about culture, actually. I think that – let’s forget the idea of “genius” for a little while, let’s think about the whole ecology of ideas that give rise to good new thoughts and good new work.”

How Could Scenius Work?

In my experience, scenius can be cultivated if we instead seek not to own a truth, or identify ourselves with its origin, but act as its midwife or as its parent in the context of the way Kahlil Gibran explained of the role of parent to child in The Prophet.

Could this Age of communication and connectedness be a unique environment for scenius to flourish? And could this natural resource of wisdom be as accessible in a crisis like Gazza?

What Does Scenius Look Like in Practice?

Scenius invites disparate viewpoints and welcomes engagement on a new level of dialogue. One requirement in creating scenius is to respect the other person or other group. Respect is a discipline: to stay centered in our respect and not recoil into allegation, threat, and defensiveness is not easy. Scenius requires that we welcome, or at least, permit each other’s history, each other’s ideas, and each other’s beliefs.

I have found in my own work that this dedication to scenius (even though I didn’t know of the word at the time) has enabled exciting levels of innovation and a deep commitment to the creative process. The respect for scenius put my ego and the ego of my colleagues into the right context for optimal dialogue – our egos were not irrelevant but a subtext of the process, not driving it. Individuality is valuable to harvesting the wisdom in multiple perspectives, and yet a respect for scenius ensures that diverse perspectives do not dominate the outcome.

I have also seen this process transform my personal life and heal protracted issues within my family. Scenius was allowed to emerge when I jettisoned agendas, embraced my vulnerability (within myself and the other), and remained centered in my vision for a transcendent outcome. The more I engaged in this process the more the other person did too. It was a clear application of being the change that I wanted to see.

The Brain: Wired for Scenius?

It is interesting to see from the latest insights in brain science that people who focus on others are clinically happier. The data supports a neuropsychological model that proposes experiences associated with selflessness are related to decreased activity in the right parietal lobe of the brain. Researchers say “the implication of this connection means people in many disciplines, including peace studies, health care or religion can learn different ways to attain selflessness, to experience transcendence, and to help themselves and others.”

The Surgeon: Gazza’s Call for Scenius

While scenius flourishes where mutual respect and a love of ideas is present it seems to me that where scenius is most needed and best tested perhaps is in protracted environments – from the challenged home where love has become distant and encrusted with misunderstanding to places of endemic misunderstanding involving whole communities like Gazza. Is scenius possible in these bitterly protracted conditions?

Perhaps Doctor Izzeldine Abuelaish holds the answer. In the recent attack on Gazza Israel television was galvanized by a studio presenter holding up a mobile phone live on air for five minutes so they could listen to the outpouring of grief from Dr Abuelaish. Israeli tank shells had just hit his home, killing three of his daughters and a niece. “What have we done to them?” the doctor cried. “Why, why?”

A week or so later the Doctor talked to his friend Rabbi Yitzchak Yellin: “Military actions,” said the Doctor, “are not useful between people… “.

The Rabbi replied: “So what’s the solution?”

“The solution is to listen to each other and to be serious.“Replied the Doctor.

“It’s too complicated.” Responded Rabbi Yellin.

Laughing, Dr Abuelaish said: “Oh wow too complicated, well make it easy. Can you make it easy?”

You can watch the story here or read the transcript.

The First Step to Scenius?

What must we do first? As Dr Abuelash exemplifies – the true fight lies in overcoming ourselves not overcoming others. When we apply this principle scenius becomes accessible. Every spiritual orientation including Buddhism, Christianity, Islam and Judaism say that the true way lies within. The true crucible and jihad lies in overcoming ourselves not overcoming others. When we apply this principle scenius can operate freely. The “seriousness” Dr Abuelaish calls for relates to overcoming not the intractable nature in the world, but the intractable conditions within our own hearts.

The second step is not to perpetuate the problem that we see, but to adopt the proven approach to be the change that we want to see.

_________________________________________________________

This post is dedicated to my friend Peter and the scenius that emerged through our dialogue.

At Freedom’s Way we build online tools, which help us to “listen and be serious” and to unlock the rich potential hidden in our lives and communities. The tools make it easier and the process enjoyable. These tools are free for personal use because we believe wellbeing is a democratic right available to all.

Gazza v Arsenal

thatgoal — Tue, 29 Sep 2009 09:10:17 +0000

Another goal from one of my footballing hero’s. Gazza hits this extraordinary free kick from way out and beats probably the best keeper in England at that time. Fantastic strike from a fantastic player…

Bored in the school holidays.... what's new?

alice — Mon, 21 Sep 2009 00:49:37 +0000

I love school! I love homework and friends and algebra!

Starting to miss Mr Monro’s jokes which is a bad sign- Let’s do a ‘lion’ graph, I’m sure it will be a roaring success hahahahah ha

mmmm crapness, I am sick again and it is becoming summer again. I HATE SUMMER! like I hate bratz dolls and kyle sandipoop-head! in summer the sun comes out and kills me with warmth and smiles at the tiny beads of sweat running down my face- not funny!

In other, much awesomer news, Geelong are cool and we defeated Collingwood-evil laugh- suck on that Astro

No, Collingwood did well in the thrashing, I’m sure it was hard to see Gary Ablett be a champion:) and now we will eat meat pies in the lounge for the grand final- no one is allowed to leave the house

Brownlow tonight, hope Gazza wins! I love Brownlow! (more for the dresses than anything else) I wonder what Lauren Phillips will wear tonight? she is pretty

I better get back to my boredom….

alice xx

Gazza v Scotland Euro 96

thatgoal — Thu, 17 Sep 2009 05:36:13 +0000

Another classic moment from one of my favourite players of all time. I remember dancing around in the garden celebrating the penalty save, and missing the goal! The replay produced celebrations everywhere and it capped and fantastic display against the Scot’s.

Gazza gets a new adoptive family

trinasummerfield — Tue, 01 Sep 2009 15:24:48 +0000

A few hours ago we waved goodbye to Gazza (Gasparin), a pony taken in by us when his owners thought there was no other option for him but the abattoir. Gazza was severely overweight and was suffering from laminitis when we collected him, he could barely walk anywhere and spent most of his first few days with us laid down. He was put on a carefully controlled diet and with time, having had his overgrown feet attended to, we were able to start gently exercising him.

Gazza has now been adopted by Linda from the Correze and will be living with her lovely mare Beleza, who sadly lost her old companion a short while ago….as had Gazza in his previous home. We look forward to hearing all about how Gazza gets on in his new life and we feel privileged to have been able to help such a kind and gentle pony.

Waiting for his new mum to arrive....

Loading made easy!

Bye Gazza.......see you soon

Gazza got a visit from the dentist today!

trinasummerfield — Tue, 18 Aug 2009 21:38:10 +0000

An important part of equine care is routine dental checks by a qualified equine dentist. This should be done annually but depends on your equines age and needs. Today Gazza had a visit from Equine Dental Technician, Peter Smith (BAEDT).

An initial look at Gazza's incisors

After rinsing out Gazza’s mouth with an anti-bacterial wash to rid all the bits of food, Peter gently put the speculum mouth gag on Gazza. This gag causes no pain to the equine and allows the dentist to attend to the molars at the back of the mouth, it is almost impossible to do any work without this vital piece of equipment.

Now that Peter could see and feel right into Gazza’s mouth it was apparent that poor Gazza had some very wide and sharp molars at the back that had caused indentations on the inside of his cheeks. The most efficient way of rasping these is with a motorised float, not all horses will tolerate this unsedated but our Gazza was a star!

The power tools in action...

Hopefully Gazza will now feel much more comfortable when he eats and when ridden. To understand why it is important to have your equines teeth attended to please read the article on the blog here.

We have some exciting news coming up soon for Gazza so keep checking the blog for updates……

Tain't no doubt about it...

Gary Dale Cearley — Wed, 12 Aug 2009 07:27:07 +0000

Probably the best pub sign - ever!

An Australian friend of mine, Garry “Gazza” Chapman, who I knew from Hanoi, Vietnam, sent me this photo. I have said it once, I will say it again…

There is no doubt what this publican is selling!

If you enjoyed this post and would like to receive Gary Dale’s bawdy humor postings in your mail box sign up here!

Season Four, Episode Seventeen - 'A Vogue Idea'

martbowski — Tue, 11 Aug 2009 03:44:02 +0000

Carrie’s new hair makes her look like Aslan.

Sometimes I feel like Jesus delivering the Sermon On The Mount when I’m about to write one of these reviews. As Jesus implored his adoring audience to ‘turn the other cheek’, I urge the readers of martinthecity to ‘earn the other week’. Sure, they’re both meaningless statements, but mine does have a certain Je ne sais quoi to it.

This episode followed Carrie’s foray into the world of ‘Vogue’. Fewer magazines leave me as cold than a quick glimpse through the glossy pages of Vogue full of the smears of desperate wannabes spunking into the adverts, that exception of course being ‘Chilly Mcfreeze’ magazine, a windswept romp about how to survive in harshly cold terrain.

For someone who claims to be intelligent, Carrie ain’t half dim. After calling Vogue ‘relevant and provocative’, she then sent in a five hundred word article on accessories which read exactly like her sex column. The blonde old bird from ‘Boston Legal’ told Carrie what’s what by telling her that not everything has to be about men – I agree, sometimes you can write about lesbians as well. Carrie protested that she was merely using ‘a little humour’ in the piece, but I’m afraid she deserved her criticism. As a writer of sorts I understand that the hurt when someone tarnishes your work is often very jarring and cutting, but she deserved it.

She deserved it for two reasons – one for saying that ‘Vogue is about vision’. No it’s not – it’s about selfishness and broken dreams. The other reason was her drunkenly flirting with the old guy who gave her the job in the first place. It felt apt that they were listening to Billie Holiday on the jukebox, as her desperate life of racism, heroin and desperation really hit home the feelings I get when I watch people like Carrie flirt. Seeing her drunk is a bit like seeing a three year old boy pulling the wings off a fly – you know you should step in and stop the cruelty, but the chances of vermin and scum being destroyed is one that shouldn’t be passed up on.

Samantha and Richard were discussing his birthday. Richard hates birthdays and I feel his pain 100%. I also love his name – Richard Wright, it reminds me of the very unlucky ex England goalkeeper who shares the same name and is now playing back at Ipswich. Maybe the producers of the show missed a trick by not including more footballing namesakes – they could have had a character called Paul Gascoigne who snorted a bit of coke, put on some fake tits before flicking his balls up in the air and ending up in a dentists chair position. Oh, I’m wrong sorry – I’d blanked Miranda out of my mind.

For his birthday he requested a threesome with a 21 year old woman who had been semi flirting with the couple. I’ve never understood the idea of threesomes, to me they just seem like a fight between a cocker spaniel and a massive tiger. At first it’s pretty amusing and light-hearted, but eventually someone’s gonna get their head bitten off.

Miranda incidentally was worrying about being a mother. Charlotte offered to throw her a baby shower to make her feel better. Unfortunately I have already reviewed a Sex And The City episode which strongly featured a baby shower, and so I have already used my baby shower ‘I’ve only been to one in my life, and that was when I went swimming aged six months’ gag. I am now repeating myself, which humorously gives me a lot more in common with this show than I initially realised.

Miranda and Charlotte had a little argument until they kissed and made up. “Watch out for the sharp edges’ was one of Miranda’s insults, a sentence she should perhaps have used to Steve when he was ram-raiding her with his one bollock that eventually gave her the demon baby. Carrie compared Miranda to a ‘father figure’ at one point, which made me wonder what my life would have been like had I had a pale, butch ginger lesbian in my life, as opposed to the guy who gave me my thick dark hair, and steely green eyes, but also my lack of empathy and short temper. Either way, I would have had different coloured pubes.

The threesome mentioned above lacked the power of the infamous American Psycho threesome – not enough requests to eat ass, or biceps flexing. It did result in a really nice moment when Richard realised that he really did love Samantha and wanted things to be exclusive between them. It must be really nice and filling when you tell the person you want to be with them and it all works out well, rather than both of you staring like rabbits in the headlights not moving on. And you know what happens to those rabbits… They run away. Forever.

Carrie met our old friend whose name I now think sounds like a cream for thrush – the Manolo Blahniks. Unfortunately for her she put them on as the old dude she was flirting with him earlier stripped down to a pair of Versace briefs and motioned for her to Vogue him right up. In classic Carrie selfishness style, she turned him down. Mind you, he did call her Cookie, and I fucking hate loving nicknames.

One final thought – Carrie boasted to her boss that “men I may not know, but shoes I know”. I think a statement like that really sums up the meaningless of not only this show, but life in general. It actually makes me feel sick, how on earth is that something to be proud of? Oh well done, you can own ten pairs of Kurt Geiger shoes, but you can’t hold down a loving relationship because you concentrate too much on the outside, and not enough on the inside. As a raven haired goddess once sang, “you’ve got to give a little, take a little, and let your poor heart break a little. That’s the story of, that’s the glory of love”.

I wish I was a child again so I didn’t have to worry about this shit any more.

I also ain’t fucking gay, despite my love for musicals.

FUTBOLISTAS DE LEYENDA: PAUL GASCOIGNE

juguemos — Mon, 10 Aug 2009 10:57:41 +0000

Llevaba tiempo queriendo retomar este tema. Desde el artículo de Javi sobre Paolo Maldini ha pasado un tiempo y he decidido que la siguiente leyenda en desfilar por Fondo Norte sea Gascoigne. La razón más que nada es que me apetecía saber cosas sobre este polémico jugador y aprovecho para formar el artículo.

Paul Gascoigne, alias “Gazza” es un mediocentro inglés que allá por los años 84 comenzó a destacar en el Newcastle United. Pero Gazza, que no tiene nada de típico, tampoco era el medio inglés con mucho derroche físico y gran golpeo que encontramos en los campos de la Premier. El típico volante de la liga inglesa es así, pero Gascoigne parecía empeñado en salirse de la media. En un país en el que se valora tanto la entrega, apareció un jugador diferente, un medio capaz de abarcar todo el campo con una clase infinitamente superior a la de sus compañeros de puesto. Un medio brasileño en un cuerpo inglés. Pero sobre todo apareció un personaje que se ganó a su país cuando lloró como un niño al recibir una tarjeta que le privaba de jugar la final de un Mundial (finalmente Inglaterra fue eliminada).

Su aspecto distaba mucho de los cuerpos esculturales que se presuponen a los deportistas de élite. Será recordado por su barriga, blanco de la burla de tantos y tantos rivales, que mostraba que iba sobrado y no necesitaba el físico tanto como ellos. Era todo un showman que gustaba de la burla. Cuando no tocaba el trasero a un contrario, era un escandaloso caño lo que le llevaba a mofarse del contrincante. Se permitió licencias realmente polémicas. Sacar la lengua a la cámara mientras sonaba el “God Save the Queen”, cambiar las diapositivas tácticas de su entrenador por imágenes pornográficas, y celebrar un gol al estilo de las marchas protestantes son algunas de las más sonadas.

Y esas son solo algunas andanzas en el terreno de juego. Si hablásemos de sucesos fuera del mismo daría para escribir un libro. Desde encarcelamientos por pegar a su mujer hasta numerosos tratamientos para su reconocido alcoholismo, pasando por intentos de suicidio. Una persona atormentada que nunca supo encauzar su camino.

Sus primeros años fue un tremendo jugador, pero las lesiones y la doble vida que llevaba consiguieron sacar del camino a un auténtico crack, autor de un gol ante Escocia de los que nunca se olvidan. Paul Gascoigne. No os perdais el video.

Loss of a Legend

lysaghtb — Fri, 31 Jul 2009 14:39:47 +0000

Sir Bobby Robson RIP Sir Bobby Robson, the most popular man in English football, died earlier this

Bobby Robson

nathan the alien — Fri, 31 Jul 2009 11:26:11 +0000

I would like to pay tribute to arguably my favourite ever football man.

Italia ‘90 was the first tournament I can remember. Great memories and I fell in love with football largely thanks to Bobby and his squad…Gazza, Platt, Wright, Beardsley, Lineker, Shilton, Walker, Pearce and Barnes stand out for me.

But it was more than Italia ‘90 that won Bobby Robson a place in mine, and the nation’s heart. He simply came across as such an incredible bloke. Kind, tough, gentle, happy, wise, humble. He just seemed to have found the right way to live and you always felt good and proud after hearing him talk.

In recent years I have been astounded by the number of worthy public appearances he made in the face of such trouble. Even 5 days ago at the 1990 World Cup semi-final re-match to raise money for the Bobby Robson Foundation he was there meeting the players. (England got their revenge btw – 3-2!) He never seemed to stop giving.

Bobby Robson was a great, inspiring man. I will miss him.

AFC Wimbledon 0 - 2 Albion

xenophon19 — Tue, 21 Jul 2009 20:35:31 +0000

My favourite football photograph of all time. I loved the old Crazy Gang, ever since they won the 1988 FA Cup Final 1-0 against the then cocksure top-flight superstars Liverpool. They didn’t exactly outplay Liverpool as much as mug them with extreme violence, and underdog lovers everywhere lapped it up – a legend was born.

But, after relegation from the Premier League in 2000 the Dons imploded and out of the ashes rose AFC Wimbledon (MK Dons? who they?) - this is by far the most interesting of our pre-season friendlies, and one I defo would have gone to had I been at home in Hove. So, I have to make do with the Seagulls World radio commentary from the Beeb.

New trialist getting a run out tonight is Alan Navarro, a former MK Dons midfielder. No Michael Ricketts, looking ominous for him not being in blue & white stripes this season. It’s 11:15pm here (central Asia) as the match kicks off. I hope the game is worth staying up for.

McLeod hits one on 15mins, off da woodwork, Albion looking lively, especially in midfield with McLeod, Navarro and Spiller buzzing about. Adam El Abd putting himself about in characterisitic style at right back. It’s raining in Kingston too, I’ve the aircon on in bed, hoho. Tunnicliffe having a good outing at centre-back, that’s promising for the big yin, big throws into the box too – looking forward to him bombing those in over the season.

GOAL! Hart feeds McLeod on 30mins and POW!! in the onion bag. Stitch that you bastards!

Second half gets underway, trying to work out who’s on and who’s come off. Dicko on up front with Daaaaavies. Immediately Dicko has a pop at goal, looking very hungry. McLeod still on, he’s playing a blinder. McLeod floats one in, Daaavies connects with his head and misses (signs of things to come this season?). Dean Cox on for McLeod on 60mins, well played that man.

Dicko having a better night than his last game at Stevenage, he’s enjoying stretching those big legs. Daavies trying hard too, not as classy, he needs a goal, they both do. Coxy and Wright both troubling the Dons defence, Daaavies can’t finish. Dons finally make a decent attack, appeals for hand ball off Virgo – piss offffff!!! AFC threaten again with 5 mins left, Dickinson clears his lines, having a good half the big guy. Dons miss a sitter, empty net, fook me! And another, what are Albion doing???

Other end, Dicko feeds Cox, keeper saves at his feet – good little game this. Cox takes a corner with minutes to go, falls to Virgo, he smashes it low into the goal – get in!!! Final whistle goes, good work out for the team. Night night.

Xenophon’s Albion Team Performance : 7 out of 10

Xenophon’s Albion Man of the Match : Kevin McLeod

Albion Team (goalscorers in bold):

(4-4-2) G Smith (Kuipers 45); El Abd (Whing 45), Hawkins (Elphick 45), Tunnicliffe (Virgo 45), Livermore (Cook 60); Brinkhurst (Wright 50), Navarro (Crofts 45), Spiller (Dicker 45), Mcleod (Cox 60); Murray (Dickinson 45), Hart (Daaaaaavies 45)

God Save Paul Gascoigne

didirodrigues — Tue, 30 Jun 2009 22:11:12 +0000

Da série “Craques Quase Esquecidos”, uma homenagem a Paul John Gascoigne, hoje com 42 anos de idade. Meio-campista bastante técnico, “Gazza” iniciou sua carreira em 1985, jogando pelo Newcastle. Na temporada 1987/1988, conquistou o título de “Melhor Jogador Jovem da Liga Inglesa” (PFA Young Player of the Year). De 1988 a 1992, defendeu as cores do Tottenham Hotspur, de Londres. Este foi provavelmente o período em que Gascoigne ganhou mais notoriedade. Sua passagem pelos Spurs inclui a conquista da FA Cup, em 1991 e um golaço de falta contra os seus maiores rivais, o Arsenal. Gazza também jogou pela Lazio, de Roma, Glasgow Rangers, Middlesbrough, Everton e Burnley. Também se aventurou no futebol chinês e norte-americano, já nos anos 2000, no final de sua carreira.

Defendendo a Seleção Inglesa, Paul Gascoigne fez renascer a esperança de um novo título importante, feito que não acontece desde a conquista da Copa do Mundo de 1966. Em 1988, Gazza fez sua estreia pelo English Team, em um amistoso contra a Dinamarca. Disputou apenas uma Copa do Mundo, a de 1990, e foi protagonista de uma das cenas mais emocionantes daquele mundial. Durante a semifinal contra a Alemanha, Gascoigne cometeu uma entrada criminosa e foi advertido com um cartão amarelo pelo árbitro brasileiro José Roberto Wright. Sendo este seu segundo cartão durante a competição, ele estaria impossibilitado de disputar a final, caso a Inglaterra vencesse. Assim, começou a chorar compulsivamente, em uma demonstração clara de patriotismo que raramente se veria hoje em dia. A Seleção Inglesa terminou aquela Copa na quarta colocação, seu melhor desempenho, sem contar a conquista em 1966.

Pela Inglaterra, Gazza fez também parte do elenco da Eurocopa de 1996. Em um jogo contra a Escócia, o meio-campista veio correndo de seu campo de defesa, recebeu a bola na entrada da área, chapelou um zagueiro e fuzilou o goleiro adversário, anotando um verdadeiro golaço. A Inglaterra foi eliminada desta competição novamente na semifinal, novamente pela Alemanha, e novamente nos pênaltis. Apesar disto, Gascoigne foi eleito um dos melhores jogadores daquela edição. Ele teria ainda a chance de disputar a Copa do Mundo de 1998, na França, mas foi cortado pelo treinador Glenn Hoddle às vésperas da competição. Tudo porque foi flagrado bêbado em uma boate uma semana antes da divulgação oficial dos convocados, acompanhando por ninguém mais, ninguém menos que o astro pop escocês Rod Stewart. O músico inclusive pediu desculpas publicamente à população inglesa por estar junto de Gazza no evento que ocasionou o seu corte do English Team. Desde então, Gascoigne nunca mais foi convocado para a seleção de seu país, totalizando 57 partidas e 10 gols pela Inglaterra.

Este foi apenas um dos eventos polêmicos extra-campo protagonizados por Paul Gascoigne. Fumante assumido desde as épocas de jogador, esteve sempre metido em encrencas. Encrencas estas que não cessaram, mesmo depois de ter pendurado as chuteiras, em 2002. Sua ex-esposa, Shery Failes, bem como os seus filhos, o acusam frequentemente por conta de agressões. Além disso, Gazza já sofreu diversas internações para tratar de problemas como bulimia e dependência química. Seu currículo de confusões inclui ainda agressões a fotógrafos e até a sua suspensão em um reality show inglês por ter sido reprovado em exames psicológicos. Um dos filhos de Paul Gascoigne, Regan, de 12 anos declarou recentemente que não crê na recuperação plena de seu pai em termos de dependência química, e salientou ainda que não acredita que Gazza ainda vá durar muito tempo.

São manchas na carreira de um astro que, acima de tudo, ostentava muita determinação. Sempre conhecido pelo seu bom humor, Paul Gascoigne faz parte, desde 2002, do English Football Hall of Fame, homenagem concedida aos melhores jogadores e treinadores que disputam a Liga Inglesa. Patrocinou ainda dois videogames: Gazza’s Superstar Soccer e Gazza II. Além disso, acompanhou a banda de heavy metal Iron Maiden por uma turnê européia e contribuiu para ações de caridade na Botsuana. Ao final de sua carreira, Gascoigne colecionou quase 100 gols marcados e protagonizou imagens emocionantes aos amantes de futebol. Os problemas extra-campo, mais evidenciados atualmente, não são suficientes para ofuscar a carreira brilhante de Gazza, e todos torcemos para uma recuperação rápida e sem seqüelas daquele que é considerado por muitos o melhor jogador inglês desde Bobby Charlton.

Gazza's progress

Equine Rescue France — Tue, 30 Jun 2009 10:45:03 +0000

Gazza has now started some gentle work with us. Starting off with long reining in the round pen, then we progressed to a wander round the orchard…

Yesterday we tried leaning over him and then getting on. Even though we had been told be has been ridden and driven before (but not in the past 5 years anyway), we like to make sure they are happy with each stage before we move on to the next thing.

He seemed very relaxed about this so Trina hopped on and went for a little walk…

And then out for a wander around the orchard….

Low Carb Beer

Tom McArthur — Wed, 03 Jun 2009 02:02:01 +0000

Earlier in this journal I mentioned in passing an apparent blasphemy that to many will seem like an affront to life, liberty and the western world. A heinous crime before the beer god’s themselves and something that no real man would ever consider in their wildest dreams. To be perfectly frank, it seemed like a cruel and twisted joke when I first saw it.

Low Carbohydrate Beer. Curious tipples with innocuous names such as Toohey’s White Stag, Pure Blonde, and Hahn Super Dry. Names with not a hint of their apparent weakness.

Can you imagine such a thing?! Is nothing sacred? Surely the last thing on a man’s mind at the moment of purchasing a life-affirming cool pint after a hard days graft should be the calorific value of his beverage of choice? Alcohol content? Yes. Cider or Beer? Yes. Will this make me look fat? A thousand times, no! A man, by and large, need not worry about things like this –least of all when he’s on it. We have Coors Light and Magners Low Carb back in Blighty, but they are for the girls, grouped with Bacardi Breezers and white wine spritzers, and –like hybrid cars and Cristiano Ronaldo- nobody takes them seriously. Do they?

But not here. Not in Australia. In fact, the low carbohydrate beer dominates alcohol sales throughout the country. Down here the lifestyle revolves around sport, the outdoors and for the vast majority, beer. The lean and tanned surfer or footy player is worshiped here, not the gregarious grog guzzler with a pot belly and the ability to inhale a pint of diesel in under four seconds. Although with former Australian Prime Minister Bob Hawke being a past world record holder for downing a yard of ale (11 seconds: Oxford University 1963), I am sure such antics would be still held in high regard in some circles. Don’t get me wrong though, the average Aussie male loves to drink beer and have fun–he just would rather not look like a marooned whale when he’s on the beach.

This is where low carbohydrate beer comes in. Smashing down vast quantities of piss doesn’t lend itself to the most active of lifestyles –look at the example of fallen football legend and England’s answer to George Best, Paul Gascoigne. All those excess calories in that post match victory binge will eventually add up, more so given that most Australians will use any excuse for a cheeky stubbie or two. Given that the average pint of premium strength lager or cider will be around the 500 calorie mark –this can mean an additional calorie intake of anywhere between 1000-5000 extra calories a session. Even more on some glorious weekends when the beer flows like water and the hours melt away into days.

Low carb beer isn’t quite the weak, unholy terror I thought it to be. It tastes like full-fat beer and, at an alcohol percentage of anywhere between 4.7-5%, there is still the kick of the fuller bodied tipple. If you get it in a pint, schooner or a ‘midi’ it is indistinguishable from a traditional brewski; perfect for those (Andy Ro!) who would find it difficult to come to terms with. Semi-skimmed beer enables you to party on with a little less guilt than the gold top variety. It’s cold and wet, too, which is probably the most important thing. All in all, low carb beer is quite probably the future. Well, until I return to Albion and the land of deep fried Mars bars and real ale with enough Calorific value to heat Carlisle for the winter.

Half Term is over hurray! Just 6 weeks to go before the Summer Holidays !

susanscottlookalikes — Mon, 01 Jun 2009 15:27:02 +0000

Well Half Term and 2 Bank Holidays are over – thank goodness. We should now have a clear run of a whole 6 weeks before the Summer Holidays of a similar length kick in – and wipe out any profit that we might have made in the previous 6 weeks. Such is the plight of a Lookalikes Agency being dependent on Corporate Entertainment for our livelihood, But lets be optimistic and maybe this year will be better – not something I am betting on mind you.

Couple of budget jobs on the horizon. One for the new Graham Norton Saturday show on the BBC. They are looking for a few Lionel Richies but then decided they had no budget to cover one. Edward Scott still holding on in there and hopefully will end up with the job.

We did have one nice job at the end of Half Term week a Batmizvah at The Dorchester, no less, who booked Austin Powers (Brian Allanson) Dr. Evil (Mark Beauchamp) and Fat Bastard (Jem Frazer). All seemed to go well and was enjoyed by all. Weddings and Barmitzvahs continue through a severe credit crunch – it would seem. Thank you.

Had a frustrating day (life!) with my computer – lots of Virgin connection problems yet again. Still not where we should be on Google but the discovery that our alternative domain name name -www.lookalikes-susanscott.co.uk had lapsed may just return us to our rightful place. The final aggravation was that the software for my gorgeous and much loved Flip camera had to be upgraded and I had to get my poor old brain around a whole new load of instructions just to get 3 new people on YouTube -just when you believe you’ve got the hang of it – darn it.

Couple of possible jobs in the pipeline – not the easiest – one of them being ‘Gazza’ now. We must have had 20 lookalikes but that was 10 years ago. Where are you now guys? And if we find you how do you look. Troubled I hope? I don’t think so having led and good and happy life you have lost your hair and put on 5 stone.