I recently discovered a new artist named J Brazil.

His first single titled ‘Girl I’m Tryin’ was released in the beginning of December and the accompanying music video was released last week on Youtube.

The song is a remix of Cyndi Lauper’s ‘Girls Just Wanna Have Fun’ but Brazil’s lyrics are written from the point of view of a male.

A generation and time difference can be heard between the two songs but that does not detract from either of them.

The song itself is very catchy with a great beat and a relatively fast paced tempo. The autotune used in it is complimentary and not overdone. J Brazil’s wonderful voice is powerful and not drowned out by the autotune.

The music video is funny and well produced,  some shots including a literal interpretation of the song’s lyrics.

The song reached number 19 on the Itunes Dance charts within days of it’s release and the music video has scored over 95,000 hits in just little over a week.

J Brazil is signed to Ultra Records which is an electronic dance music record label. The label’s stars include David Guetta and Pitbull.

‘Girl I’m Tryin’ Have Fun’ will defenietly be a hit in nightclubs and dance parties across the globe.

The song is worth a buy, especially if you are going to be hosting an exciting New Years Eve Party. It is cheap only 99 cents on Itunes (American money) and check out the music video if you want a laugh.

La Photocabine

Due to popular demand, here is it… Whatever happened to Lee Montgomery?

He was the tasty, all dancing, white vest wearing, drink of water in Girls Just Wanna Have Fun. And he was cuuuuuute! But what happened to him?

I mean, Helen Hunt and SJP went onto better things. Even Shannen Doherty had a pretty good run. But lovely little Lee? There isn’t even a picture of him on IMDB so that we can see what he looks like now!

Apparently, he became a musician and composer. Does anyone have any more information?

I’m so excited for little girls everywhere!  Disney’s newest princess, Tiana, got a formal welcome at the Magic Kingdom in Disneyworld last week.  It’s been a long time coming, and I’m elated about the fact that Disney has an African-American princess! 

 The film, which opens nationwide on December 11, 2009, is an American fairytale set in New Orleans.  A prince named Naveen from the land of Maldonia is transformed into a frog by the evil scheming voodoo magician Dr. Facilier.  The frog prince mistakes a girl named Tiana for a princess and has her kiss him to break the spell. However, the kiss doesn’t break the spell, but instead turns Tiana into a frog as well. Together, the two of them must reach the good voodoo priestess of the Bayou, Mama Odie, while befriending a trumpet-playing alligator and a hopelessly romantic firefly along the way. 

The film looks like it will be a hoot, for sure!  I can’t wait to see it with my little princess.  What about you? Will you be among the first in line to check it out?

Fracas has big plans for the next week…. really big plans, and you get to be a part of it.

For two weeks, fracas will be collecting names and links of those who would like to be ‘goosed’ by none other than yours truly.

In exchange for this little thrill… you will post the official ‘I’ve been goosed by fracas’ image and the following squawk along with a link back to the fracas blog:

“I’ve been goosed by fracas (and I liked it). If you haven’t been goosed yet, head over to http://fracas.wordpress.com and ask fracas to goose you too!”

At the end of the two weeks, a list of links to the blogs of everyone who has been goosed by fracas, will be provided to each of you and you will then add that list to your goose post, thus giving each of you multiple linkbacks from all who now belong to the ‘I’ve been goosed by fracas’ gaggle.

In order to take part in this, you must leave a comment here using a valid email address I can send you the update at – don’t worry… those emails are private and won’t be shared, you just need to use them while submitting the comment.  In your comment, include the link to your post about being goosed… as well as  the following (just copy/paste it into your comment):

I’m ready fracas… goose me!

And hey… thanks for taking part in a bit of fun that will ultimately help us all add to our blogs’ rankings!

Image Credit: http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Canada_goose_head_detail.JPG

Need help using the image?

All you have to do is right click on it and save it to your own computer. Upload it to your own blog and add it to your post using the method that your blog’s platform supports. The image doesn’t have to link back to the fracas blog, but you do have to include a link to http://fracas.wordpress.com in your post somewhere, or the gaggle will peck you to death!

Disclaimer: Okay, not literally peck you to death, but figuratively… and you’d deserve it. Heck, you might even find goose ‘droppings’ all over your blog some morning too.

Girls just wanna have fun sex

Ahora si, aquí tienen por fin el numero uno, y ahora llevará el nombre simplemente de Poderosos Comisionadoz. Cualquier sugerencia es bien recibida. Esta vez escucharan las sensuales voces de Nigger, Comandante Weedson, Colmillo Blanco, El Lic. y la sensualosa presencia de Lollipop.

Eso es todo por esta ocasión, gracias por escucharnos y les pedimos que dejen sus comentarios, sean buenos o malos, y dejen sugerencias para ayudarnos a mejorar ya que esto es para ustedes .

]]> http://okgoods.wordpress.com/2009/10/25/all-the-cool-girls/ Sun, 25 Oct 2009 15:04:47 +0000 Amy K http://okgoods.wordpress.com/2009/10/25/all-the-cool-girls/

Hello! photo taken from Wildfox Couture . I’m not sure if I love the clothes or  if mostly I am just swayed by the beautiful way they capture them on camera…  Very Nylon mag, very Chloe, very ’sexy girl about town with effortless styling’ to covet.

Notes to self. Buy above bathing suit next summer, and learn to be wildfox sex kitten photogenic. (site found through the inspiring and delicate posts of Paige from bicyclette, wink!)

Hell yeah. If you missed the Hip Hop Honors on VH-1 you are trippin. Truth be told, I actually almost missed it but thankfully Sharon called me to remind me. Tracy Morgan hosted this “25 years” tribute to Def Jam and it was AMAZING!!! Actually, it will never top the tribute to Jam Master Jay when DJ Jazzy Jeff KILLED it on the “ones and two’s” but it was pretty damn close. While anyone can cover “Rock The Bells,” not just anyone can be Redman or Method Man. THANKFULLY those two “Man’s” showed up and believe me, I was up and dancing. Makes me think of all the concerts Sharon and I have been to of Red and Meth. (We’re on a nickname of a nickname basis by the way.) What is it 11 times now? They rocked the damn house. Mine included. And Mary J. Blige? I rapped/ sang every word hoping Haven didn’t wake up and make fun of me for rapping. Hidden talents, you didn’t know? Also remarkable was Foxy Brown…who I miss to no end. I love me some Foxy Brown. Not in that way sickos…you wish. She looks like she packed on more than a few pounds but I don’t care. I wish she’d go on tour and only do her old shit. New stuff is fine but her old stuff was the best. You really need to catch it on a re-run. You wont be sorry. Well, if you don’t like Hip Hop then you’ll be sorry you tuned in but you get what I’m selling.

I also wanted to mention a R.I.P. to Captain Lou Albano. I used to love watching WWF with my dad when I was a kid. George “The Animal” Steele was my favorite but Lou Albano was a close second. I gained a newfound love for him when he was in Cyndi Lauper’s video for “Girls Just Wanna Have Fun,” which was played the eff out on my record player. Yeah I said record player. I’m old so what? I will never forget Lou’s piercing in his cheek with the rubber band hanging off of it. Sick but obviously an innovator. I mean, I am guessing T.I., aka Tip, aka Rubber Band Man got his inspiration from Lou. Rest is peace Lou. 

Captain Lou Albano                 Frank D’Amico Sr.         Captain Lou

You cannot forget Lou Albano, I remember him back when I was a child, Lou was very good friends with my father “Frank D’Amico Sr.”  Lou use to come to our house in the Bronx with my dad. Lou use to get on his hands and knees and give us kids horsey back rides on his back, we had so much fun with him, and there was always lots of laughter when Lou Albano was around.

My dad use to hangout with Lou and he use to take me and my brother with him to Lou’s bar on Provost Ave, it was a little hole in the wall place, but it was a great place for us kids to have some fun back then.

Lou use to cook muscles for all the guys, and one day the wrestler Bruno Sammartino came down to the bar and he played the piano for everybody with me sitting on his lap. I will never forget those special moments in my life. My dad loved his friend Lou Albano and Lou Albano loved my dad, they were good friends in the 60’s.

Capitain Lou Albano and Singer Cyndi Lauper

Cyndi Lauper credits Lou Albano for bringing her song to the Top Of The Charts “Girls Just Wanna Have Fun”  Captain Lou played her dad in the music video in the 80’s. The music video “link” above can only be seen on YOUTUBE just in case you wanna watch the video.

Captain Lou Albano is gone but he’ll never be forgotten, he was 76-years-old when he died at his home in Carmel, New York with his loving family and wife Geraldine of 56-years by his side.   Lou Albano was suffering from heart complications from a recent illness.  For Funeral Details or more information.

Lou Albano Gone But Never Forgotten 2009

Month In ReviewCheck It Out

For those of you who grew up watching wrestling in the 80’s, Captain Lou Albano was a staple! He was also featured in Cyndi Lauper’s “Girls Just Wanna Have Fun” video on MTV. One of my daughters favorite songs.

RIP Captain Lou!

From MTV:

For pro-wrestling fans of a certain age, Captain Lou Albano was a larger-than-life figure who helped turn what was once a low-rent, cable-access sport into a pop-culture phenomenon. The World Wrestling Entertainment Hall of Famer died on Wednesday morning (October 14) at the age of 76, according to the WWE and Wrestler’s Rescue, an organization that helps raise money for retired wrestlers’ health care.

Born Louis Vincent Albano on July 29, 1933, in Mount Vernon, New York, the former football player and bouncer entered the wrestling game in the late 1950s. His four-decade wrestling career kicked off when he created the tag team known as the Sicilians, playing a stereotypical Italian gangster alongside partner Tony Altimore. The pair won a few regional tag-team championships and briefly held the United States Tag Team title before losing it in 1967 to Bruno Sammartino and Spiros Arion.

From the Los Angeles Times:

Albano, who was sent home from the hospital earlier this week and place under hospice care, was 76 years old.

Albano is best known to non-wrestling fans as the father in Cyndi Lauper’s “Girls Just Want to Have Fun” video. That helped kick off the Rock ‘n Wrestling connection that launched the then-WWF to national prominence in the 1980s.

From Wrestlezone:

World Wrestling Entertainment was saddened to learn of the passing of one of the company’s most popular and charismatic legends, “Captain Lou Albano.” WWE extends its deepest condolences to the Albano family.

“Captain Lou” was inducted into the WWE Hall of Fame in 1996. He performed for WWE from 1983 to 1996. Albano began his storied career with Vincent J. McMahon in the 1960’s as one half of “The Sicilians” tag team with his partner, Tony Altimore.

Now, we’ve looked a lot at Lisa A. Lewis’s applications of access signs and discovery signs in female-address music videos. For a quick refresher, access signs are public cultural spaces typically closed off to women and girls. A good example we haven’t brought up is Lily Allen frequenting a record store and wandering the streets of London in “LDN.” Discovery signs, by contrast, are traditionally private, feminized spaces like the home, as illustrated in most of the music video for Estelle’s “1980.”

But the reality is that most women and girls navigate both the public and private spheres, a fact that the last 40 seconds of “1980″ makes clear when the home opens up into the neighborhood for a block party. A fantastic example of a music video that showcases the negotiation of access and discovery signs is Cyndi Lauper’s “Girls Just Wanna Have Fun.” So tonight, as I bundle up in my house and watch the pilot of Friday Night Lights after a long day at the office and some post-work errand-running, I thought it would be fun to showcase a couple of music videos that acknowledge the fluidity of movement in our daily lives.

Speech Debelle
“The Key”
Speech Therapy
Directed by Anthony Dickenson

Sleater-Kinney
“Get Up”
The Hot Rock
Directed by Miranda July

BTW, kudos to my friend Caitlin for nudging me toward Speech Debelle. Isn’t she great?

sleepy town

tie me to the tracks

snacks with questionable origins

BEP tix for SGD50

unleashing the inner nerd

paragon + taka + ion combined

If there’s one thing you’ve taught me, it’s how to be patient. So when I learnt the journey by rail would take approximately 8 motherfucking hours, I knew it’d be a cakewalk armed with my travel companion, a warm sweater and an ipod filled with songs from 7 years of being a teenager. Who would’ve thought two bunks would eventually become just one shared by two. And that the a/c in our carriage would break down halfway through our journey while we were fast asleep. The worst thing is to wake up feeling feverish with beads of sweat parked neatly along your T-zone and the stench of other sweaty bodies emitting odour beneath many layers of clothes. Surprisingly, I still found the ride bearable.

Wrapped in the chaos that ensued upon our arrival, I felt unaccustomed to the congested roads, unhygenic-looking food streets, banging elbows with foreign pedestrians and being the alien among them. As usual, we felt conned by the locals at every opportunity we presented them with each time a potential transaction was about to be made. And yet, I derived some form of pleasure being temporarily immersed in this unfamiliar world of disorder, corruption, grime and communication barriers.

What was initially meant to be an unplanned trip where we expected to slack for 2 days turned into an extremely eventful and moderately hectic one where we found ourselves rushing from venue to venue. Honestly speaking, I secretly enjoy cramming activities into time spent abroad (and even on home soil), so I welcomed the haphazard itinerary with open arms We explored the poshest malls, ate along jalan alor, visited a bar with a view of the petronas towers, partied with locals @ zouk kl, rode the rides at sunway lagoon, watched BEP in concert and survived another awesome 8 hours back to SG by rail.

What’s not to love? Can’t wait to go back This time with my bestie and her insignificant other :p

Saw this today and thought I’d post it — it’s cute.  Granted I was never really much of a Madonna fan anyway so when I saw this, I was like Oh, ok.  I mean I like the songs and she has stayed on top of the music industry for a long time so she does command and deserve respect.  But I’m not so sure that she still deserves all the hype she gets.   I’d take Cyndi Lauper or Tori Amos any day of the month over Madonna.  She was just never at the top of my a-list … my apologies to any Material Girls out there who may be offended.  Please feel free to leave a comment if I touched a sore nerve or upset the Zen balance in your material world — just don’t remain Silent After all These Years — let it out, because after all is said and done … Girls Just Wanna Have Fun.  ‘Nuff said?

Now that Clive Owen on the other hand … he can drive me around town any day of the week.  Actually the stunt driving footage in this vid is done very well.   Like I said before – cute vid.

hangin' out with bluey in elmo's ride

emo nemo

ze ultimate break up ritual performed by the bestie herself

readysetglo'ers awaiting the arrival of V

aokiiiiiiii

the night we almost went deaf

Virgin attendance of a Steve Aoki gig, and boy did he bring the house down.

While our brittle 23-year-old bones may not pack the same level of energy and endurance as they once did 6 years ago, our two consecutive nights of partying were definitely worth the aching legs and somewhat emptied wallets. I’d never been to readysetglo and the manic Aoki groupies were a bit of a turn off, but it was still a blast thanks to some very enthusiastic company. Ironically, 3 of us are rather eager to get back to work and didn’t quite welcome the long weekend haha.

My mom’s worried that I might be enjoying singlehood a tad bit too much! She never fails to amuse me.

Una edición más, la música que bailan los chicos y chicas de Fama no te deja inmóvil en el sofá. Para todos aquellos que no se contienen, se lanzan a bailar en el salón de casa, y que les gusta imitar a sus ídolos a con la música que ellos mismos bailan en la pista de baile de Fama, Suena en Cuatro te contará cada semana qué se ha bailado en la Escuela.

Esta semana queremos destacar el tema que todo el mundo ya canta e imita el movimiento. Desde el principio de esta edición todos tenemos en mente “Wiki-Wiki”. ¿Te gustaría saber cuál es el verdadero título del tema y quién lo canta? Pues échale un ojo a la coreo que ha convertido a Virginia y Wiki en los primeros inmunes, y repasa la lista de canciones por coreografías bailadas.

Coreografía especial entrada
Jimmy Sommerville – You are my world

Coreografía de presentación Alberto
Ian Carey Project – Get Shaky

Coreografía de presentación Lourdes – Juanfran
Eminem – Me made you

Coreografía de presentación Fátima – Diego
Daniel Merriweather – For yor money

Coreografía de presentación Marina – Keko
Take That – The Garden

Coreografía de presentación Jenny – Jonathan
The black eyed peas – Alive

Coreografía de presentación Damaris – Sergio
Justin Timberlake – Señorita

Coreografía de presentación Nerea y Juan
Marilyn Manson – Leave a scar

Coreografía de presentación Dafne y Adrián
Miley Cyrus – Girls just wanna have fun

Coreografía de presentación Virginia y Arzy
Linda Teodosiu – Love sux

Actuación David Bisbal – Esclavo de sus besos

Coreografía inmunidad Marina – Keko
Beyonce – Halo

Coreografía inmunidad Fátima – Diego
Bryan Adams – Please forgive me

Coreografía inmunidad Damaris y Sergio
TI feat. Justin Timberlake – Dead and gone

Coreografía inmunidad Jenny y Jonathan
The black eyed peas – Don’t phunk around

Coreografía inmunidad Alberto
Kid Cudy – Day and night

Coreografía inmunidad Lourdes – Juanfran
Daniel Merriweather – Change

Coreografía inmunidad Dafne y Adrián
Faithless – Mass destruction

Coreografía inmunidad Nerea y Juan
Prodigy – Voodoo people

Coreografía inmunidad Omar y Cris
Lady Gaga – Poker face

Coreografía inmunidad Virginia – Wiki
Buraka som sistema – Kalemba (wehe wehe)

Actuación David Guetta – when love takes over

Coreografía grupo Nerea
Jazmine Sullivan – Dream big

Coreografía grupo Keko
Lady Gaga – Again again

Coreografía grupo Lourdes
Inna – Hot

Coreografía grupo Dafne
Ciara – Go girl

Coreografía grupal Benji
Florence and the machine – Rabbit Heart

thingamajigs

a little bit of forrest gump

one of the many hindu temples around bali

scene from one of our longg treks

ruins of bali (not)

our first beach conquered - hellooooo legian!

does this not look like paradise to you?

mandatory star jumps

a little bit of vic in bali

i love all the gates

our romantic bestie dinner by kuta beach

right on, brothers

i love this picture - it was my first snorkeling experience!

uluwatu

that ghastly sarong is the one thing killing this beautiful picture

anticipating the kechak/fire dance

final moments before our departure from bali

brunch @ kopi pot

Our little getaway was everything I hoped it’d be and more.

I’d never been to Bali, and this temporary escape to a rather warped image of paradise served as adequate proof that one does not need to indulge in booze, drugs and scandalous activities to thoroughly derive the ultimate mind-blowing experience.

I was so stoked to have booked this trip with one of the loves of my life, because who better to run off to Bali with than the equally tanorexic partner in crime and best friend It’s been forever since we had time to ourselves, free from the horrendously hectic schedules that adulthood has imposed upon us. Feels like everything’s rapidly falling into place and with the myriad fortunate events unfolding around me, I couldn’t possibly ask for more.

Mrs. Smith no more. If you find yourself leading a double life for the sake of keeping your world from falling apart, I suggest you consider how long more you can endure the pressure of perpetuating that seemingly utopian dream.

Miley Cyrus – Girls Just Wanna Have Fun off her new album Breakout.

An interesting footnote about the album: the title track was co-written by The Go-Go’s Gina Schock

…or do they? Melody Club – Girls Don’t Always Wanna Have Fun off their new album Goodbye to Romance.

another interesting take on the song by Emilie Autumn

and of course, here’s the original Girls Just Wanna Have Fun by Cyndi Lauper off her album She’s So Unusual (1984)

Movies that make you shake your ass, a 80s dance movie retrospective

There are two things that mark a true 80s dance movie: underdogs and cheese. The best dance movies are about overcoming hardship through the transformative power of dance. Dance that is cheesy, overwrought, and only very passably cool (and maybe only for a month after the movie’s release).
But I love cheesy dance movies. I’m not ashamed to say it. I will watch the worst movies made as long as there’s rhythmic movement involved. Plot? We don’t need a plot! Just tack on a remotely plausible reason for the dancing! It’s all about the DANCING.
Anyway, here is a list of some of my favorite “so bad they’re awesome” 80s dance movies. Some are classics, some aren’t. There might even be one or two you’ve never heard of. In which case, you’re welcome.

Flashdance (1983)

Oh, Flashdance. You inspired an entire generation to change their exercise routine and start wearing one shoulder off of a ripped t-shirt. You not only unleashed the secret of the bra removal, you turned it into a mid-date seduction technique. But the point of the whole movie is an inexplicable stipper/welder combination who dreams of something better. Naturally, she’s self-taught and encounters snobbery from the other ballet dancers (and even the snooty receptionst who we all wanted to punch in her pinched, non-dancing mouth).

But she overcomes! She goes in and dances her own style and wows the judging panel. She even makes one guy start blowing his nose to the beat—she’s that good.

Unintentionally funny parts
*0:40  I’m sorry, did she pull a loose record from her jumbled dance bag? Shouldn’t it be all scratched?
*0:52  Why is the snotty receptionist on the judging panel?
*1:00  The nervous, shaking fingers that make it difficult to place the needle on the record. Now that everything is just a slight nudge of a button, the image of fingers on stereo equipment is rarely used to reveal anything. The other time was in Fright Night when a long vampire nail seductively reaches out to press “play” on a tape deck. It was awesome.
*The obvious wig on the dancer
*The outdated dance moves that would, today, get someone shitcanned on So You Think You Can Dance.

But you can’t deny it. When the song hits its stride and the dancing lets loose, you cheer for her all the way.

Dirty Dancing (1987)

Now, this one has a more complicated underdog story. While in Flashdance the romance is peripheral to the protagonist’s dream, in Dirty Dancing the romance is created through dance. We all know the plot: privileged, sheltered girl meets a hunka burnin’ love at a summer camp. There’s a (gasp!) abortion that scares (yet oddly excites) the girl and necessitates that she spend a lot of time with the bad boy. Dancing. Dirtily. Oh baby.

Baby might be the main character, but all she’s having to prove is that she’s an adult or something and really isn’t the bumbling idiot everyone thought. The real underdog here is Johnny (Swayze).  He just works for the man, occasionally gets taken advantage of by rich women, and gets shit on by Neil, the annoying manager on a permanent power trip. But Johnny gets his revenge. No, I’m not talking about deflowering Baby and having it thrown in her rich father’s face.  He gets to dance his way dammit, in front of all the rich people. His dancing is actually a giant “fuck you” interpretive which brings everyone over the dark side of dirty dancing. And they like it! A lot! Everyone dances! His dancing makes Baby’s father forgive him (along with Robbie’s admission, but whatever). And again, no matter what you might have thought about the movie leading up to the final scene, you know that seeing them dance together and pulling off that damn lift makes your own heart get a little squishy.

Unintentionally funny parts
*0:20 He beckons her by crooking his finger at her. I find this unspeakably funny and a little dirty.
*1:38  That swooning look she gives him.
*1:45  They are so enamored of each other, they forget to keep dancing!
*1:48  “Crap! Start dancing again!”
*1:50  “Ha ha! We’re dancing again and I am giddy with relief because this time you’re the one who screwed up our routine. La la la, not Baby’s fault this time!”
*1:59  Dirrrrrrty.
*2:04  That screaming girl should be at a sporting event or a concert.  And even though this is set in the 1960s, she looks as if she’s screaming at Bon Jovi back when he had girl hair.
*2:12  Weeeee!
*2:20  Johnny leaps off the stage in order to show off his absolute freedom, his poo-pooing of the rules that asshats like Neil try to force on him. Let us all find something and leap from it (barring tall buildings) so that we may share in this exhilaration.
*2:24  The concert-screamer is losing her mind.
*2:41  Oooh, thrusting.  Which Baby finds amusing.
*2:53  “Come on!”  You know that’s what he screams to his fellow dancers right then.
*2:55  The inexplicable “group mentality” portion of the dance number.  Did they all practice this every summer, just in case Johnny was able to one day stage a coup?  Or is the spirit of rebellion so strong and Johnny’s sweat so pungent that they all just fall into line?
*3:23  The lift!!  The effing lift!!  Come on, even the most cynical bastards get a little happy right now.
*3:33  “Oh my God, we did it! You didn’t drop me! I want you so much right now.  Let us run away to make the sex.”
*3:59  Right there, the girl in the polka dots!  Doriana Sanchez, the disco choreographer from So You Think You Can Dance. You can find her everywhere, eventually.
*4:07  Are these women lesbians?  Sorry, “romantic friends?”

Staying Alive (1983)

The sequel to Saturday Night Fever sees our beloved Tony Manero trying to make it as a Broadway dancer. Like Alex from Flashdance, Tony is self-taught and trying to compete against people with absolute gobs of technique and experience. Cynthia Rhodes plays the slightly shabby love interest with a heart of gold. By the way, for those that don’t know, Cynthia Rhodes is the glue of 80s dance movies, especially since she’s in the first three movies of this list. Recognize.

Finola Hughes is the other love interest (because Tony Manero always has at least two women on the line) and plays the uber diva dance bitch from hell. In fact, she quite literally plays the queen of hell in the final dance number. AWESOME.

Anyway, Tony bucks all the odds and manages to become the star of the show. But that isn’t enough, oh no. Like Johnny Castle, he has to do it his way or it just isn’t validating enough. And he does, to the point of throwing his co-star off the stage and going into a crazy, shimmying solo.

Unintentionally funny parts
*0:02  The demons are groaning. Or is that moaning?  These are some sexy freaking demons. Frankly, if hell is this much of an orgy, sign me up.
*0:10  The unitards that the guys are wearing, with the chests cut out . . . I don’t know whether the point is to make me giggle or do a demony moan/groan.
*0:25  What is that noise that chick just made?  Putting my onomatopoeic skills to the test, I bring you “Oh-UNGH!”
*0:31  Finola Hughes and Cynthia Rhodes are giving each other stink eye.  Keep it professional, ladies.  You’re fighting over John Travolta, have some perspective.
*0:38  Here comes his shinyness now.  Did they rub him down with Vaseline for this?
*0:42  I hear whip noises, but I see rope.  ROPE.  They couldn’t have at least painted the rope?  I’m not scared of fat white rope.
*1:48  Heaven is a strobe light/laser show.  Does that mean God is a DJ?
*2:13  I just can’t.stop.laughing.  He is leaping with total abandon, isn’t he?
*3:25  Threw the Hell Queen right off the stage.  Where she kind of rolled.  This would have been more awesome if she grabbed some of those ropes and brought the curtains down on him.
*Are we all aware that this was directed by Sylvester Stallone?  Really?  This the secret vision of Rocky? I guess that explains the uber-glistening.

Sing (1989)

You want an underdog? Man, have I got the movie for you. Not only is there a bad boy/good girl romance, the entire school is trying to overcome something. And the worst thing, the absolute worst thing about having your school shut down, your neighborhood declared a pile of shit, and having to maybe not be around all your friends anymore is the prospect of having your talent show canceled.

Okay, I guess I can see that the show is symbolic, a final “fuck you” to the bureaucratic asshats who are closing down the neighborhood. I’m willing to give in. There are actually two scenes that are worth mentioning.  In the first, the bad boy, Dominic (Peter Dobson), is caught by his teacher (Lorraine Bracco) practicing his dance moves. In a dark alley. Because that’s where you secretly dance, obviously. Naturally, she stops and challenges him to a kind of inspirational dance-off.

Unintentionally funny parts
*2:48  The dialogue that crescendos right along with the music
*The super cool, dramatic lighting that you can only get in a back alley.
*3:07  Lorraine “Sopranos” Bracco flailing her arms at the beginning of the dance number
*3:22  Elvis!

Naturally, the shows get put on and yes, there is a final dance number. A couple, actually. But it’s the final final one that counts. People cheer wildly, some even cry. Maybe you will, too.

Unintentionally funny parts
There are none, because this number is AWESOME and inspirational and you will love it. They are dancing and singing and it is glorious. There is, however, one funny moment completely on purpose involving a cop and one of the school board asshats.

Girls Just Want to Have Fun (1985)

Before Sarah Jessica Parker ignited debates and murdered fashion sense as Carrie Bradshaw, she played a dance-lovin army brat whose biggest dream was to make it onto DTV, a dance program filmed in Chicago. Lucky her, her family has just moved there! But her overbearing military dad won’t let her go to the auditions. So her new best friend, Lynne (Helen Hunt), convinces her to sneak downtown and try out.  She makes it through auditions and is paired with bad boy (natch) Jeff for the final competition on live television.

Unintentionally funny parts
*The whole thing is a montage of dance styles.
*1:35  Punk dancing!
*1:59  Helen Hunt is dancing. This might be the only time you ever get to see this.
*2:43 Jeff sees Janey as the dance goddess she really is, even though she’s wearing a uniform.
*3:23  Running around rhythmically on stage and then crashing through some paper into a shaft of sunlight means a guy is not only a dance god, but probably has a giant penis.

But okay, Janey and Jeff finally make it to the big show and are pitted against Janey’s nemesis, Natalie. Natalie is a rich bitch debutante with an automated closet, just so you know. Through many trials and tribulations that include revenge at a party, petty disagreements, Janey’s getting caught sneaking out, and her subsequent grounding they are able to come together and dance, dammit. Also witnessing the dancing suddenly makes Janey’s dad all supportive or something. I think.

Unintentionally funny parts
*0:25 He’s hanging on to her like she’s a cranky toddler. My mom used to drag me out of stores just that way.
*3:22 Natalie’s “ungh” thrust during her dance number
* 3:27  The obvious difference between the slow, half-witted turns of SJP’s close up and the up to speed version of her double
*4:09 “Let’s do it.”  That’s your battle cry? Really?

White Nights (1985)

Well, as far as underdogs go, you can’t beat political persecution. This movie is a little less cheesy than all the others because the plot is actually interesting and the actors are solid. Mikhail Baryshnikov and Gregory Hines are the main characters, Isabella Rossellini and Helen Mirren are supporting. That is a fairly powerhouse combo of real dancers and actors.

Baryshnikov plays a Russian ballet dancer who fled the country and emigrated to America during a tour. His plane crashes in Russia, they figure out who he is, and keep him there because in Russia he’s considered a criminal. Hines is an American dancer who emigrated to Russia after his disgust with himself and his country following the Vietnam War. Also, they are white and black, respectively, and dance in completely different styles. They couldn’t be more different!

Still with me? Oh, good. So! Hines is assigned to Baryshnikov to convince him that dancing in Russia is the best thing ever and he should stop plotting his escape. The mean old KGB guy is now threatening Hines and his wife, and at one point takes the wife away in the dead of night.

So Hines and Baryshnikov have to learn how to work together. This means they have to dance together in order to show their newfound cooperation to the KGB guy (who watches them on secret camera all day).. No, really.

Unintentionally funny parts
*0:12  That little face makes me giggle.
*0:39  Double crotch shot of two very famous dancers
*1:00  That little fist brought just so, ugh. Dance power!
*1:05  First of all, Baryshnikov is tap dancing. Mkay. This is fine but it suddenly makes Hines, who is a beautiful and amazing dancer, look almost clumsy. Weird.
*1:22  This is not funny at all. That little hip move of Baryshnikov’s still, to this day, makes me swoon a little. I don’t know what it is.
*1:56  Run!
*2:04  KGB man wants to dance, but he only knows how to box. Sad.

Baryshnikov hooks up with his former dance partner (Mirren) who now has some measure of freedom and power. Of course, she’s really bitter about the inquisitions she dealt with following his hasty and criminal departure. She just wants him to stay in Russia and behave. How does he convince her to help? With the power of dance, of course! He shows her what freedom means by moving unconventionally and breaking with all of his ballet training. And she is moved to tears.

Unintentionally funny parts
*0:19  Apart from breaking into the world of tap, he has also been studying break dancing and is going to tentatively give it a try here.
*0:24  I’m a tortured infant
*0:26  Who grows into a cranky toddler. Tantrum! I don’t wanna dance in Russia!

I kid, some of this is amazing and I’m betting that Mia Michaels saw it in her formative dance years and said “Yeah! I don’t wanna follow the rules either!”

Fast Forward (1985)

Oh, honey. Really. I can’t even tell you how craptastic this movie is. That’s why I saved it for the end. For those of you willing to read this far, this is the lopsided cherry on the dance pile, the wonky pirouette of doom.

First of all, you should know that this is directed by Sidney Poitier which, I think, lends a certain credibility to the whole thing.

Fast Forward is a noble tale of 8 teenagers from Sandusky, Ohio. They are a dancing/singing group working hard, rehearsing daily in an abandoned building, dreaming of running away from home to a compete in a talent competition in New York City. Because talent scouts are always on the lookout for a dance group. They’re different, and edgy. Also, they are racially diverse.

So! They get there! The main guy, with whom two of the group members had an in, he’s all recently dead. The talent competition has been moved back by a few weeks. A decision has to be made, go home and forget about it or stay there in the big, scary city and wait it out.

I think you can figure out which option they choose.

While they’re waiting, they decide to dance on the street for money. Another dance group (my, but they’re just everywhere!) gets all angry at a club one night and the leader, Caesar (Michael DeLorenzo) challenges them to a battle. Our poor little group gets their asses handed to them by Caesar’s break dancing, nunchuk wielding, hair flinging group of inner city misfits. Yeahhhh.

The main choreographer of the Ohio group flips his shit at this outcome and figures that since they’ll be playing to a New York crowd, maybe they should learn some new moves beyond the quasi-contemporary stuff they learned from watching tv. So they all learn some hipper dance moves (compared to what they were doing, anyway) and then go back to the club and challenge Caesar again. And they win!

Unintentionally funny parts
* 0:05  That long haired chick in the leopard print from Caesar’s crew? Doriana Sanchez.  I told you she was everywhere.
*0:24  When the girl in the blue and black stripes does that weird lean to the left, it looks like the exact same thing my mom does when she has to burp.
*1:30 Caesar’s girls really are a hot mess—all I see is frantic posing and messing up of hair
*1:43  The girl in the white jumpsuit from the Ohio group is the most ungainly, graceless dancer I have ever laid my eyes on
*2:28  When they spin while waving their hands overhead like that, all I hear is “Yoo-hoo!” in a kind of cartoon voice.
*3:21  What is that, mime? Why didn’t Caesar just punch him in the mouth, isn’t that what you’re supposed to do to mimes?

Again, the group has to overcome great obstacles in order to perform in the big show. But they make it, and they win by singing and dancing and showing these New York assholes that innovation combined with technique is an unstoppable force. Also, white leotards and little black jackets are super stylish.

Unintentionally funny parts
*I don’t have time to explain the old lady with spiked hair, just watch the movie
*Is it just me, or do the white leotards, due to the short little jackets, have the appearance of granny panties?
*The girls are also wearing little white lace gloves with the fingers cut off. I just wanted to point that out.
*2:26  Well, that’s a way to kill time, everyone stand in a line and switch places. It’s like the dance equivalent of not having a verse for a song, going “la la la” and then forgetting to write a new line before it’s time to record.
*3:05 Ahoy!
*3:29  Woo! I just did the robot for 3 whole seconds! Time to hyperextend in celebration!
*3:38  Well, yes, that is a head spin. But her little legs all akimbo crack me up every single time I watch it.

For those of you with Instant Netflix, Fast Forward and White Nights are currently available right this very second. Watch them now, thank me later.