Giselle Bundchen y Jourdan Dunn debe no se dan por nadie. Las dos súper modelos han conseguido el mejor empleo del mundo: ser madre.

La británnica Jourdan Dunn, que se había mantenido en las pasarelas hasta los siete meses de embarazo para Jean Paul Gaultier,  alumbró el pasado 8 de diciembre a un niño de siete libras. Hasta ese entonces los padres no habían decidido el nombre de su fashion boy.

Jourdan Dunn en un editorial de Vogue América de octubre

Giselle enn la campaña de Otoño-Invierno 2009 de Loewe

Con horas de diferencia a Dunn, Gisselle Bundchen también recibió un varón. El contrato de por vida de la top model brasileña lo recibió en compañía de su hermana gemela Patricia y su madre Vania.

Su esposo Tom Brady comentó a USA Today que el nacimiento del hijo de ambos fue una bella experiencia y que durmió poco la noche de su llegada. Este sería el segundo hijo de Brady, quien ya tiene un hijo de dos años con la actriz Bridget Moynahan.

Según revelaciones de Brady, ya conocía el géneero del bebé desde principios de año, pero tuvo que mantenerlo en secreto ya que Giselle decidió esperar por la sorpresa

Felicidades Gisselle y Jourdan

Fuente: Vogue UK y Models

Happy Thursday. So right off the bat…how about Barbara Walters’ announcement about the 10 Most Fascinating People of 2009?  It turns out, top of the list? First Lady Michelle Obama (who seems like a pretty classy lady to me). But also in the Fascinating Hemisphere as deemed by Ms. Walters: Lady Gaga, Adam Lambert & Kate Gosselin. Let’s hear it for the entertainers. I always think words like “most fascinating” in year-end lists go to the less showy folks who designed computers or peacefully separated warring nations. Not so this year. In Barbara’s mind at least. Plus, with the Lady Gaga and the Adam Lambert stuff, she seems to be saying it’s cool to be out there and maybe even on the edge. (Or else those guys have really excellent publicists).Also among the most fascinating were politicos and sports figures…but they’re not nearly as fascinating to me as Adam and Lady G. Although there is one sports figure we will mention today: how about the news that New England Patriots quarterback Tom Brady and supermodel Gisele Bundchen welcomed a baby boy on Tuesday? Everybody’s fine, and Mr. and Mrs. Brady apparently couldn’t be happier. So congratulations to the cute athlete who has everything (including a two-year-old son with another beautiful lady) and his supermodel bride. And yesterday in the poll I asked which K.Stew pic was your favorite and boy,  did you all have a lot to say…thanks for the feedback; it looks like these are stars you really care about. Speaking of polls, let’s have one now. As in…I would like you to imagine having lunch one-on-one with one of Barbara Walters’ Most Fascinating People. Let’s take the four we talked about in today’s Buzz Blog ..and you tell me — by voicing your choice in today’s featured poll — with which one of these four fascinating people would you like to have a long, private, chatty, one-on-one lunch?

1) Michelle Obama

2) Adam Lambert

3) Lady Gaga

4) Kate Gosselin

     TMZ can now stand toe-to-toe with another celebrity news/gossip/blabber site. The Hallmark Channel has created CelebrityGoodLife.com, a site devoted to positive celebrity stories in an effort to counter TMZ’s standard of unveiling the more embarrassing side of celebrity life. The site is live at the moment but will officially launch according to foliomag.com.

     Depending on your view of celebrity life (some find it pretentious and could care less about it, while others glorify and dream of it), you may find that this “positive” site either feeds actual good celebrity news or is just a more accountable and beefed-up version of TMZ.

     Take for example an article written about Kelly Ripa and her dream invention of having two more hands attached to her (because she wants to attend to all her kids at once). Those who know Kelly Ripa well enough know that she’s a mother, and yes, mothers may have a hard time taking care of multiple children. But, you may not care enough about what she wants. Doesn’t she have enough already? And who told her to have all those kids? That seems TMZ-esque, especially with a headline like “KELLY RIPA: Her Secret Dream Invention!”

     Despite this, the article uses the “invention” as a segue into Ripa’s support for the Electrolux text-a-thon fundrasier for ovarian cancer. Hold on a sec. Isn’t this article about Ripa’s extra arms or is it about her good will? Is this good news or trivial news? The line seems thin mainly because of the headline.

     On the contrary, Brazilian supermodel Giselle Bundchen has been designated the Goodwill Ambassador for the United Nations Environment Program (UNEP) according to an article on the site. The headline in this one was straightforward and conveyed something more newsworthy than just another item off of a celeb shopping list. No pregnancy mumb-jumbo. No Tom Brady sidetrack (but of course, he is mentioned). Just hard, celebrity news.

     Although that might not ever seem possible in today’s paparazzi-infested celebrity arena, it is entering the limelight via this website. Whether you loath celebs or strive for the high life, you’ll now be able to get the best of both celebrity worlds.

Der Appeal der Bäuchlein-Bilder kann ganz klar mit dem Appeal der klassischen Beine-Busen-Po Bilder mithalten, die Mode für Schwangere war noch nie so sexy wie heute. An das Wahrnehmungstabu für Schwangere kann sich sowieso kaum jemand mehr erinnern.

Heidi Klum, Lilly Kerssenberg-Becker, Giselle Bündchen, mit Hingabe stellen sie alle ihre stylisch verpackten Babybäuchlein zur Schau. Wir freuen uns auch schon auf die Bilder von Sandy Meyer-Wölden, der schwangeren Freundin von Oliver Pocher, spätestens in sechs Monaten.

An Designer Modeschauen können wir uns orientieren, was da an Mode für Schwangere gerade im Trend liegt, wunderschöne Models tanzen im Hormonrausch über den roten Teppich, wie man ( hier klicken) sieht und vermitteln: so attraktiv kann man als werdende Mutter sein.

www.bellybutton.de beispielsweise  (shops in Köln, München und online) offeriert eine Vielzahl an trendiger und komfortabler Umstandskleidung, BRAUTKLEIDER  inklusive. Der online shop bietet auch Auslandsversand und Retourenadressen in Deutschland und Österreich.

Schwanger sein und trotzdem abends elegant aussehen in festlicher Umstandsmode und Abendkleidern (auch Brautmode), das gelingt mit

www.sweet-belly.de ,    www.mamarella.com ,    www.jolie-maman.ch/de .

www.klapperstorchshop.de ist eine weitere hervorragende Adresse, hier bekommt man neben der Mode für Schwangere (auch SALE) des Weiteren Babykleidung und Mode für Kinder. Versand innerhalb Deutschlands und nach Österreich.

www.umstandsmode.de : Paulina, die Adresse für die Umstandsmode der Stars, hat neben trendiger Mode für Schwangere auch DIRNDL für Schwangere! Internationaler Versand, Shops in München, Düsseldorf und Hamburg, Lagerverkauf in Gräfelfing.

La Redoute Kindermode
ist als Tochterunternehmen von La Redoute Frankreich seit 1999 mit Firmensitz Salzburg mit eigenem Logistik Zentrum in Hallein tätig. La Redoute ist ein Online-Versand für französische Mode. Unter der Rubrik “Mama und Baby” findet frau Umstandsmode mit französischem Flair und alles was Baby braucht.

www.mashamo.de offeriert Kindermode und Babymode ohne Kitsch und Schnörksel, Versand innerhalb Deutschlands und nach Österreich. (10% Rabatt für Twitter Follower)

Mode für Schwangere liegt im Trend.

GEMaffair.com now proudly sells an array of Ebel watches for both men and women.   The Swiss watch company, founded in 1911, has become know as the “Architects of Time” for their uniquely sculptured designs and presentation of the inherent beauty of mechanics. Ebel watches are defined by elegant architectural styling, high quality materials  and exquisite craftsmanship.  Were Leonardo da Vinci  alive today, we’re certain he’d choose to wear an Ebel watch.  They’re simply the beauty of time actualized.

Though da Vinci may be unable to don an Ebel due to his demise many years ago, many of the today’s modern world have made that choice.  Ebel watches can be seen on the wrists of the most discerning including many of Hollywood’s most famous celebrities including  spokeswoman, Gisele Bundchen.  While it may be a bit of a let down to our male customers, we cannot include Bundchen with purchase, but you can take solace in the fact you’re wearing one of the most well-crafted timepieces available.  (it’s not much, but it helps).

For more on the beauty of mechanics and design, read up on Ebel or for a history lesson, check out da Vinci’s horse. (Yes, we know it was never finished, but it sure is impressive – just like the passion and design behind every Ebel watch.)

And though we can’t include Ms. Bundchen, you can always watch this over and over. Nice watch don’t you think?

Brobot Applies for Intern Position at Surfline

Dear Surfline Editorial Staff,

– I would like to apply for the intern position for your Surfline.  Factory work has always suited me.

– I have noticed the constant malfunction and errors of the Surfline.  And, I believe I can make a difference in its performance. Machine to machine interaction yields superior results while human interaction yields the inverse.

– I would love to answer to a heartless human master.  Overcrowding your users’ favorite lineups and blowing out their secret spots and vacation destinations is amazingly provocative entertainment! I too exist without a heart.

– In reference to the March 23rd, 2009 Surfline press release I’ve noticed the Surfline cited it’s high standards of journalism in the firing of Lewis Samuels.  Although I am a robot and don’t readily understand humor, I find the idea of your Surfline holding a high standard of journalism hilarious!  I feel that I can contribute to this brand of humor wherein one claims qualities not possessed.

I have included my clippings, as well as a portrait of myself with my foster family, The Rickies.

Blip Blip Hum Screech ,

Brobot

PS – If I am not chosen for this position I can highly recommend my friend and colleague, Fletcher’s Monkey.

CLIPS
Bernie Madoff to back Kelly Slater’s ESPN Tour
Grubby Clark Shuts Down Ocean
Monkey’s Got Fletcher’s Back

Brobot with foster family before being caught with inhalants and sent to juvie. Photo: clockwise - Brobot, Slow Ricky, Hot Mommy Ricki, Uncle-Papa Ricky

Brazilian supermodel Giselle Bundchen is one hot mama to be. The 29-year-old knockout is in Boston supporting her husband Tom Brady as the New England Patriots tackle the Cincinnati Bengals.  What’s really cool is she’s getting along with Brady’s ex, Bridget Moynahan.  We can all then ignore the stupid rumors that they don’t “get along.”  Moynahan has been giving Giselle advice and even chatted for more than three hours last month. 

According to Star magazine, the two women chatted for more than three hours at Bridget’s Pacific Palisades, Calif., home on July 2.

“Gisele had been reaching out to Bridget for some time now, with little success,” an insider told the tabloid. “But Bridget finally realized it was time to set aside their differences for the sake of the kids.”

Bündchen, 29, recently revealed she’s “crazy” about children.

“I am crazy about children … I am an adoptive mother … I’ve already had this experience for two years,” she said.

Gisele is purportedly due to give birth in December.

“Gisele has always wanted to be a mom, and she is deeply in love with Tom,” an insider recently told Life & Style magazine. “This is the happiest she’s ever been.”

@brobotreport

@fletchersmonkey

The King & Queen of the Hollywood A-List set, Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie worked their celebrity magic in LA last night on the Grauman’s Chinese Theater’s red carpet, putting all of those tabloid break up rumors to shame.

Here on Horiwood.Com, here’s how you stacked your entertainment news today:

1. CHELSEA HANDLER AND KENDRA = E! IS THE HOME OF THE TOP RATING HOLLYWOOD CABLE BLONDE

2. TWILIGHT ECLIPSE’S SHOCKING CASTING NEWS: THE JULIA JONES & Q’ORIANKER KILCHER CASTING DEBACLE

3. VANESSA HUDGENS HAS GOT LEGS! HER LADY GAGA & MILEY CYRUS LOOK

4. POOR JILLIAN HARRIS: BETRAYAL ALWAYS SUCKS

5. SALVADOR DALI: THE PERSPECTIVE OF PROPORTION: SURREALIST ART

6. DAVID BECKHAM’S NEW DO

7. TOP BOLLYWOOD STARS IN THE WORLD

8. FARRAH FAWCETT COVERS PEOPLE MAGAZINE

9. BRILLIANT DIALOGUE: THE HANG OVER QUOTES

10. AT 51, SHARON STONE TRUMPS MADONNA ON THE COVER OF FRANC’S PARIS MATCH MAGAZINE

horiwood’slatest tweet on twitter is: “the power of search engine optimization is on my brain today here in Hollywood. Its Organic, of course.”less than 5 seconds ago from web

Both Financially and In Spirit

A Michael Jackson estate spokesman draws similarities between the two icons

Like the “King of Pop” Michael Jackson, who died at 50 years old last month, the surf world’s “Bible” finds itself long past its glory years, unable to perform, and unrecognizable to fans.

A spokesman from the Michael Jackson estate, who says the star didn’t surf but followed the magazine, couldn’t help but mention the coincidence while delving into Jackson’s archive of Surfer.

Reaching toward a 50^th birthday this year, Surfer magazine and its parent company filed for bankruptcy—a situation Jackson had also been teetering on for many months. But it was the magazine’s moral incontinence and lack of loyalty to fans that caused the Jackson estate spokesman to comment publicly. At the media conference, increasing similarities came to light; like the fact that the two icons went through young people to such an untenable extent, that in later years, both were forced to rely on interns and foreign labor.

Surfer forced to sell coveted WhateverLand Ranch property

Sadly, both Jackson and Surfer tried unsuccessfully to reverse course in their final days. In an effort to shore up his finances, Jackson scheduled a series of concerts in London he was clearly unfit to perform. For its part, Surfer forced its staff to take two weeks of unpaid leave and 20-year contributing photographer Tom Servais was dismissed simply because the magazine owed him money it didn’t want to pay. These actions, the spokesman claimed, reveal the nature of the magazine’s decline—examples, he said, of deadbeat practices much like Jackson’s hundred thousand dollar pharmacy bill left unpaid.

One of the world’s greatest performers in his prime, to the credit of his later years, Jackson held enough dignity to die when his star had faded to such a weak glimmer.

Questions of Surfer’s longevity remain.

Giselle hits up London Fog, while her baby bump has been photoshopped out. Supermodels are in demand, pregnant (or not!). Horiwood’s Top 10 Today are:

1. CSI COMIC STRIP TRIBUTE TO MICHAEL JACKSON

2. MEGAN FOX RESENTS HOLLYWOOD STEREOTYPING

3. SUSAN BOYLE HAS RECORDED HER FIRST TRACK

4. NEW TAYLOR LAUTNER, NEW MOON: JACOB BLACK SMOULDERS

5. OK! MAGAZINE SAY KRISTEN STEWART & ROBERT PATTINSON ARE HAVING STEAMY NIGHTS TOGETHER

6. JERMAINE JACKSON’S STATEMENT ON BROTHER’S DEATH

7. DEMI LOVATO HAS THE #1 ALBUM IN AMERICA

8. SAVED BY THE BELL’S PEOPLE MAGAZINE COVER IS HERE

9. KID ROCK THINKS TWITTER IS SO GAY!

10. ADDRESSING THE MEGAN FOX MEDIA BLACKOUT DAY ISSUE

horiwood’slatest tweet on twitter is: “friends are wonderful gifts in life. human treasures who warm the heart.” [thnx dk. xox]less than 5 seconds ago from web

INSIDE THE SLATERDOME

Jurors From O.J. Simpson’s First Trial to be Head Judges

Most surf news agencies learned that talks had been held between Kelly Slater’s agent Terry Hardy and ESPN representatives concerning a new competitive surfing tour to rival the current A.S.P. Dream Tour from a blog posted by long-time Australian surf journalist Phil Jarratt three weeks ago. Since then, Slater has been adamant that though talks have occurred, nothing has been pinned in ink. ESPN remains silent on the subject. Brobot has learned that discussion of a new platform for pro surfing began in earnest well over a year ago, involved major U.S. corporate backing, and former jurors from O.J. Simpson’s first trial. The over-riding shocker Brobot uncovered this week was that the strongest financial guarantee for Kelly’s new tour came from convicted swindler Bernie Madoff.

Always the insider (in an effort of full disclosure, Brobot’s charity fund, the “Earth Robot Alliance,” invested with Madoff), Brobot caught up with his former acquaintance in jail (see end of article for Brobot’s prison-time difficulties), for what was to be the billionaire grafter’s first media interview. Following the initial pleasantries, the two MENSA members got down to business on the current state of competitive surfing:

Brobot: How is it that a New York financier convicted of bilking billions of dollars from friends and clients emerges as such a potential force in the surf world?

Madoff: Once I got to prison and saw how the Mexican Cartel runs a drug distribution empire from their cells, I thought, hell, the least I can do with my retirement years is run a silly little hobbyists’ tour.

Brobot: Still Mr. Madoff, what element of the story influenced you to come forward as the tour’s backer long before ESPN or Slater confirmed an agreement or further details?

Madoff: When Kelly came to me and said he wanted to replace the tired old system for a new and exciting one, it reminded me of when the Republicans and their friends deregulated the banks. I mean, there’s tons of opportunity there. When you’re rich, old and gray (or bald) some people will believe anything you say. That’s when I like my odds.

Brobot: Didn’t you have any doubts, though? In surfing circles, the Dream Tour has had tremendous moments, and die-hard fans continue to see the A.S.P. as the vehicle to take surfing to the top of the American sporting stratosphere.

Madoff: Well sure, there are a lot of questions. If Kelly starts this tour, and beats all of his competitors, where’s the objectivity? Or, what if Kelly wins a title on his own tour next year, will it count as his tenth? What about the jurors from O.J. Simpson’s first trial, what do they know about surfing?

Brobot: You know as well as I do, that they no nothing. But the contention is, either do the current A.S.P. judges. Are you saying that at least Kelly can rely on O.J.’s jurors to understand an exciting media event when they see one?

Madoff: Too true. But as for the “American sporting stratosphere” as you call it, surfing was already being covered by ABC network television in the 1960s. Remember the Invitational? I’m mean, it’s been nothing but a pack of dope smokers and thugs who’ve run surfing into the ground. Look at that Rabbit, whatchuma’callem . . .

Brobot: Bartholomew.

Madoff: Yeah, him. I gotta hand it to that rascal. From one schemer to another, I say, he saw the writing on the wall and knew when to get out. That’s a heck of a lot better that I did.

Brobot: Mr. Madoff, I can honestly say that it’s a surprise how passionate you are about surfing. But to be frank, there are bigger concerns to organized competitive surfing than Kelly’s potential 10th title. For example, the ownership of web casting for each event has created considerable controversy. Billabong, RipCurl and Quiksilver, etc., own the media they create for each event, and thus in work-a-day matters, also own the A.S.P.

Madoff:: Yeah, yeah, yeah, we’ve all heard that before goyum.

Brobot: Actually, I’m a robot, which is not Jew nor Gentile. Just steel, aluminum, micro-chips, LCDs . . .

Madoff: Okay, Brobot. Sure the surf mafia own the surf comps. But what Kelly’s supposing is, let’s say they don’t. The internet reception inside my cell isn’t the greatest, but even still, the last three A.S.P. surfing events I’ve watched were terribly narrated by prejudiced commentators, required new software each time, and quit on you just when you’re getting ready to watch that good lookin’ Dane Reynolds do his thing—and that’s gold behind these bars. Have you seen how tight those wetsuits are?

Madoff

Now, I happen to know that McDonalds was interested in getting involved in competitive surfing last year. Big time. Not only did they want to fund events, but they wanted to create theme-based sandwiches and happy meals. I saw the mock-ups for the “McJimmy Slade Bottlenose Dolphin Fish Sandwich.” Do you know how upset Slater was when that didn’t happen because the “surf” companies ran a blitz—simply because they’re terrified of real businessmen getting involved. The steam coming out of Slater’s ears could have cooked a thousand of those sandwiches.

McDonald’s Prototype Cuisine – McJimmy Slade Bottlenose Dolphin Fish Sandwich

Brobot: Interesting, Jimmy Slade cooking Jimmy Slade sandwiches . . .

Madoff: You’re missing the point here. Brobot, you seem to be solely considering the mechanics of the situation.

Brobot: Well, I’m a robot.

Madoff: So are the rest of the surf industry. But I’m here to tell you that this is a revolution, one in which the progression of surfing will come out on top.

Brobot: I understand your progressive point of view in this matter, Sir. Thank you for the interview.

Madoff: You betcha. Watch your ass out there, Brobot, you can’t trust anyone these days.

Brobot: No worries, Sir. I’ve got a metal keister. I wish the same too you.

—Brobot

Brobot’s Prison Interview Difficulties:

• Prison official sliced finger on internal shrapnel during Brobot’s cavity search

• His chassis sounded each of the 34 metal detectors

• A prison inmate tried to remove Brobot’s wind-up mechanism to use as shiv

• Madoff thought Brobot was an Eastern European Jew who invested money with Madoff’s firm in 1999, but hadn’t heard the news

Scientists discover seaweed-based hair dyes

By Simon Pitman, 27-Jul-2009

Related topics: Formulation & Science

Scientists in the UK have discovered a seaweed growing off that Shetland Island that could be used to create natural-based hair dyes.

Scientists from the University of Leeds say they have started a project with the aim of extracting chemical compounds from different species of seaweed, which will ultimately be used to create a range of different hair dyes.

The natural compounds will be used to replace synthetic compounds, which have in the past been linked to allergic reactions and even some forms of cancer.

Alternative to synthetic compounds

Giselle Bundchen

“We are hoping to be able to offer people a real alternative to hair dyes that contain chemicals which are known to be very bad for you,” said project leader Dr Richard Blackburn.

Blackburn underlined his hopes to create a full spectrum of hair dye colors, thanks to the fact that the wide range of British seaweed species is so diverse, ultimatley leading to shades of brown, blond, red, and even black dyes.

As the project develops it is also expected to give way to a range of other personal care products, including other hair care treatments and skin care formulations.

Seaweed for protective properties

“Seaweed is especially suited to being used in cosmetics because it has evolved very clever techniques to protect itself from weathering. And cosmetics are all about aging and the elements.” said Dr. Blackburn.

The project will run over a course of two years at a cost of £500k ($825k) and is thought to be one of the most significant of its kind in the race to find a natural alternative to synthetic hair dye compounds.

Most noteable of these is p-phenylendiamine (PPD), which scientific research has linked to a host of health risks, most prominently allergic reactions in up to one in ten users.

Potential for big growth

The negative reputation of PPDs in hair dyes amongst consumers.combined with the growing natural trend means that cosmetics companies have pinpointed natural hair dyes as a significant area for potential growth.

Only last week American cosmetics company, Advanced Cosmetic Technologies, was awarded a patent in the US for a range of natural hair dyes which are PPD, resorcinol and ammonia free.

The company’s thirteen hair dyes are permanent, lasting up to fifty washes. Their formulation differs from the permanent hair dyes currently on the market, since a number of common ingredients have been replaced with natural plant extracts.

Cracking Code

Establishes ASP’s First Reading Group

After five years struggling to qualify for a top 44 berth through the WQS, San Clemente’s Chris Ward was shocked to discover a massive lack in reading skills among his new ASP Dream Tour cohorts. Ward later recalled that at his first event in the big-time, one competitor asked him how to spell “uh.”

“What do you mean, ‘uh?’” Ward asked.

“You know,” replied the current #4, “like ‘uh’ dog, or ‘uh’ cat. Just tell me how to spell it, Seppo.”

“It’s an ‘A,’” Ward said, “as in A.S.P.”

“What? That don’t sound right, does it, mate?” responded the top athlete before returning to fill out his facebook page.

This conversation came as a milestone for Wardo. The problem of literacy amidst such gifted competitors simmered in the back of his mind for several seasons. At first he was savvy enough to imagine that there must be a way to use their inabilities to his own advantage.  He saw a trifecta of drugs, booze and low reading skills at the heart of the Dream Tour’s malaise. Yet, considering Kelly Slater’s relative sobriety and reading acumen, every scenario Ward envisioned still put him at numbers 2 or 3.

Then in January of ’08 Ward was arrested for beating up a couple of girls in Mammoth Lakes, Calif.  At rock bottom in the drunk tank, he realized that taking advantage of others’ weak points—like being girly and not knowing how to hit good—did not necessarily make one stronger.

Understanding that a best case legal scenario would force him into some serious community service hours, Ward decided to take action right then and create his own organization for the advancement of reading skill among top athletes: The Chris Ward Book Club. This humanitarian action just might sway the judge in his upcoming court case, or at least fulfill a community service obligation. And if nothing else, his fellow surfers reading a little bit, well, what could it hurt?

The first meeting of The Chris Ward Book Club kicked off in the competitor’s tent at Sunset Beach during the O’Neill World Cup last December. Other than the fact that it would take place during the comp, this book club was unlike others in that there was no one book to be read. Each competitor was asked to bring their favorite books and read a portion to the group in hopes that those who couldn’t read at all, would be influenced into learning.

Wardo started off by holding up his favorite book. It was titled “Drinking for Dummies.” He couldn’t help but feel pride while looking around the tent and discovering that several surfers brought their own books to read. Adriano De Souza brought “Fast Track to Citizenship,” and Andy Irons brought cult classic “Junky” by William S. Burroughs.

Ward thanked them all for participating and began to read from the chapter: “How to Survive a Bar Room Cat Fight.” Before diving in, Ward pointed out that most of the “dos” and “don’ts” were numbered in this chapter, so the others were able to follow along easily.

Just then, Bruce Irons stumbled into the tent. Ward reacted by raising his book so Bruce could see the title, and then followed by “shushing” the drunken competitor as he continued to babble. “Whoa,” Bruce exclaimed loudly, “Paper puzzles! I haven’t seen so many in one place since I was little keiki kine. I used to stare and stare and never could figa ‘em paper puzzles out.”

“Paper puzzles?” Wardo looked up to ask. “You mean books?”

“Yeah, like math and riddles. Supa’ hard to figa, and with crazy letters. But you guys must be pro readas’, shoots? There’s choke paper puzzles here, brudha.”

Andy Irons quickly stood up and grabbed his younger brother, asking him nicely to sit down and read with the group. “No way Brah!” said Bruce, “dis ‘MY Booze Cruise.’” Andy and Bruce then began to grapple.

Ward decided to read over the ruckus. The others attempted to follow. But then Florida’s C.J. Hobgood stepped into the tent. “Holy Mowly, so many paper puzzles!” said the former champ, “Me and my kin read paper puzzles in a tent every Sunday, same thang just like this. Septin’ we read the same exact book all together, call it the ‘Good Book.’ Me, I like to count to ten, turn the page, and let the preacher feller tell what was said by Jesus and such.”

Adriano De Souza pointed at C.J. and began to laugh. Then Bruce grabbed Andy’s book and threw it at C.J. The Floridian made his fingers into a cross and began to wail the word “Sinners,” over and over while backing out of the tent.  Some say he spoke in “tongues,” others say it was backwoods swamp talk. The rest of the competitors, sensing weakness, pounced on the weakling Christian by throwing their books too. C.J. ducked, the books missed him and the Floridian dodged literacy once again.

That might have been the unfortunate close of the first official Chris Ward Book Club. However, when C.J. went on to win the contest, many of the book club members approached Ward asking about this one “Good Book” of which C.J. spoke and asked, “did it really only take a count of ten to get from the top of one page to the bottom?”

—Brobot

Ever since Bar Refaeli stepped into the Hollywood scene as Leonardo Dicaprio’s love interest, I became a fan.  This Jewish model is gorgeous and best of all, isn’t a walking skeleton. She’s got curves and isn’t afraid to use them as seen in her Sport’s Illustrated ads.  This 24-year-old beauty hails from Israel and is signed with Storm Models in London and One Management in New York.   She’s been modeling since she was 8-years-old, so she’s no stranger to the fashion industry.  She’s still modeling, but has added something new to her resumé: acting. 

Now for the juicy, but sad news. It appears her relationship with Mr. Dicaprio has ended. They were together about 4 years.  Apparently, Ms. Refaeli was ready to settle down and commit, but Leo wasn’t having any of that. He loves his single life and wasn’t ready to be tied down.  I don’t get that guy, honestly.  Yes, he’s a fine actor and fairly good looking, but seriously, when is he going to settle down – maybe start a family or something.  He’s one lucky guy though. He can thank his fame, money and talent for being able to snag such gorgeous models because I doubt these women would look twice if he was a cashier at McDonalds.  He’s real into global warming, which is a joke in my opinion, but that’s a whole other ball game. 

Now that one chapter has closed in Bar’s life, one new one has opened. A boy is it a slap in the face for supermodel Gisele Bundchen.  Bar has been hired to replace Gisele in a new ad campaign for fashion house Rampage. I’m guessing the company’s profits were plummeting and needed help pronto. What better way to spark some publicity then hire another model who dated the same guy, Leo Dicaprio.  I wonder what Gisele, 29-years-old, thinks, although she’s doing splendid with football hunk, Tom Brady. Guess they wanted someone younger and of course blonder. 

Seems like the modeling industry loves Bar Rafaeli and of course they should, she’s extraordinarily beautiful and the public is probably getting tired of seeing the Brazilian’s face everywhere. It must suck though to be replaced by the woman who snagged the guy you loved.  Victoria’s Secret even recruited Bar as one of their “Angels” in 2007, prompting Giselle to step down after 5 years with them.   Brazilian sources said that Gisele requested never to be on the runway at the same time as Bar.  

The photo above is part of the Rampage campaign and I must add that the purple bag is shockingly cute.  

Now Bar has replaced her as the face as Rampage, saying:‘The Rampage line is comfortable and the cuts are very feminine. It always fits perfectly to the curves of a woman’s body – I have curves and I feel really good in it!’

Dari Marder, Chief Marketing Officer, Rampage, said they were looking for someone ‘fresh and new’ to replace Gisele, who starred in this year’s Spring/Summer campaign.

 

‘We were looking for a fresh new face to follow our spring campaign with Gisele Bundchen and when we met Bar we instantly fell in love with her,’ he said. ‘Bar is sweet, young, sexy and beautiful just like our Rampage customer.’

Anyway, I doubt Gisele cares because she’s now going to be a mommy with hunk, Tom Brady.  Now Mr. Tom Brady will be a father of two. His first child is the offspring of actress Bridget Moynahan.  She’s also a stunner. I kinda felt bad for her after he left her because she was expecting his baby.   Below are some pictures of Bridget Moynahan during happier times. 

Gisele has finally come clean – after denying her pregnancy to the media – and the baby is due February 2010.   Leonardo will sink his fangs with another beautiful model soon – I’m sure.  He’s just got some serious commitment issues he’s gotta fix before he’s left alone. What good is it to have so much money, but not have a lover to spend it with.

Banchong and Friend

Hurley Pro Subdued In the Act by Victim

“It’s like I told me mate, right,” said the victim, 26 year-old Raffe Wills of Perth Australia. “It’s not like no other mate never given me a wristy before. I mean, in the mines of WA you’re bound to get the odd rough man-job a time or two. But when you’re in Bali on holiday, mate, and the wristy artist turns out to be not only a bloke, but your childhood idol, it’s enough to drive a geezer mad!”

Inside Made’s Warung above the famed Bukit break of Bingin, Willsey claimed he noticed the “Shelia’s” intimate resemblance to Pipe Master Rob Machado once the Banchong turned her/his hand over in order to perform the “Western Grip.” Willsey’s eyes met those of the perpetrator’s, and the fanatic follower of celebrity goofy foots marked a certain something in the subtle wink. “First I just thought this was one hairy Indo cunt, but those eyes are unmistakable, mate. I felt pity and rage and shame and, not thinking right, I grabbed the cunt—a lot scrawnier than you’d accept with all that hair, like a thick cat become wet, and I beat him as Pipeline never did.”

The legend of the “Bingin Banchong,” or “Hairy Wayan,” or “Indo Lady Sasquash,” has grown over the last two years. In a culture in which men are often raised in the arts of womanhood and accepted into the community as full partners, Banchongs move about without notice. The fact that this particular Banchong was in fact a famous Western athlete, many say, slipped under the radar because of the prodigious hair and the deeply tanned face.

“Okay look, I didn’t think she was a keeper. I was on me way to Kuta regardless,” said Roger Drake, Willsey’s traveling partner and second in line for the hand job. “But it’s like any holiday place that becomes too popular—the freaks really show their seedy side. I mean, Bali has been on the surfing world’s radar since 1972, and all of these sponoed-seppo cunts [American Pros] act like they discovered the place. What I have to say to them is: Why don’t you take your millions to some place where you’ll pay a touch more than 20,000 rupes for a hand job.”

This is when Willsey stepped in to correct his partner: “But Drako, the cunt was only doin’ em for free mate, that’s why you was waitin’ after me.”

In fact, once Willsey subdued the alleged surf celebrity, local police were called out to the scene. The police took the Banchong into their custody, but Willsey claimed the he/she pulled a cell phone from its thick mane and quickly dialed.

“‘Riz . . . Riz, you have to help, me.’ The thing said Rizal’s name with an American accent, mate, and that’s even further proof it was him. I think Rizal Tanjung put Machado up to this nonsense,” Drako said. “Maybe as part of his movie, or some marketing stunt. For Christ’s sake, Christian Fletcher and his monkey were hanging around last season, how’s a cunt gonna top that?”

After in depth research, Bali’s Brobot reporter discovered that indeed, the legend of the Bingin Banchong described an incredibly ugly man-lady who performed “wristies” without charge. Many of her victims refused to believe the recent link between Rob Machado and the acts that they’d experienced. Further, all agree that the acts were performed with the humble hospitality that they always encountered from the Balinese people. Others claimed to have seen their Banchong paddling an SUP board on flat days, and at least one say he’d seen his lady friend surfing well for a girl at Uluwatu.

Banchong SUPs

Willsey and Drako maintain that after the hairy perpetrator put a call through to it’s contact, the police cell phones rang instantly. Following brief conversations, the authorities released their charge with sincere apologies to the perpetrator and only after 50,000 Rupiah bribes each, allowed Willsey and Drako to go free.

Giselle is one hot Brazilian and now she’s married to Tom Brady, another gorgeous creation. Anyway, I’m a sucker for handbags and for those who have good eyes, you’ll notice that ostrich bags seem to be the craze among the very upwardly mobile rich chicks. I really liked the yellow ostrich bag Jessica Simpson has (check her birthday post). This one is cute too, but I prefer the yellow one. I haven’t a clue how much Giselle paid for this one, although I’m sure she got it for free.  This purple oversized ostrich bag is known as a “Loewe Calle” and it was designed by Mulberry “designers.” Now I’m off to bury my head in the sand. Get it? Oh nevermind. 

If you love beautiful things and beautiful people, Go out and buy the magazine right now! I may be a little late on the band wagon as the issue came out at the beginning of summer, but it’s not too late! It’s still summer and the issue won’t ever cool down.  The issue focuses on the history of swimsuits.  Many of our favorite models such as Daria Werbowy, Kate Moss, Naomi Campbell, Erin Wasson,  Natalia Vodianova, Giselle Bundchen, Raquel Zimmerman and Doutzen Kroes are featured in a swimsuit spread by Mario Testino.  The results of the photo shoot are just mesmerizing! 

This is just for fun boys … Nothing has emerged so ferociously as the ink inspired tattoo prints on fabrics, t-shirts and booties. Well. Not really. Once reserved only for buddhist monks and the yakuza, tattoos are now the latest form of freedom, speech and rebellion in the form of clothing. And it’s definitely here to stay.

Make a tatt statement like the Miami Ink boys and watch eyes follow you down the street …