Taylor and Ellie are two women thrown together by circumstance yet both privately fighting their attraction for the other.

 When banker Taylor Hendry swaps jobs and apartments with her colleague, Samantha Crighton, it seems a good deal until she meets Samantha’s flat mate, Ellie. Taylor lusts after Ellie, from the outset, but is wary of emotional involvement with this tall, dark, sexy, femme after Sam warned her not to mess with Ellie’s vulnerable emotions.

Journalist, Ellie Lawrence, finds her attraction to Taylor confusing. She’s never had a lesbian relationship, not even a girl crush; but Taylor’s arrival provokes intense sexual feelings, which clamor for fulfillment. For the first time in her life, she wants to have full-on mad passionate sex with a woman.

Find out what happens to these two women when Loving Ellie is released on 18th December.

For more information visit

http://www.loveyoudivine.com/index.php?main_page=document_product_info&cPath=6_54&products_id=549

I have always, to some extent, always felt I was born in the wrong body. Sure, some things about being female-embodied are fun. Breasts, for example. It’s definitely nice to have these things. Although there are definitely days I would be happy to do without them, and I have always wished mine were smaller (even when they were, pre-baby). I like having them, but sometimes I wish I could keep them as accessories instead of permanently attached body parts.

However, there is one thing that I don’t think I will ever, ever get used to or learn to like. BLEEDING.

I hate it!

I have a friend who refers affectionately to this time of month as her “Moon Time,” and celebrates it by pampering herself with special teas and playing hooky from work. I have another who practices bellydancing (she calls it “Goddess Dance”), and claims that it has helped her feel much more strong and empowered during this transformative time in her cycle. I even know a lesbian couple that finds menstrual blood a turn-on and includes it in their sex play (something I will never, no matter how much you pay me, will do).

But I don’t get any of this romanticism of what to me, essentially just boils down to a homely, convalescent burp in my natural rhythms. I don’t understand it. I don’t want a cycle. I hate cycles. I hate watching my body change and do strange things I have no control of. I hate feeling the tides of lymph swelling up my tissues until my eyes look hung over and my pants don’t button. I hate staying up at night feeling tortured by cramps, upset stomach and nausea. I hate the ebbs and flows of breast sensitivity and weight. I don’t really get mood swings, but I get headaches and pain. I hate pain. And I really, really hate blood. In any form.

While I believe in a higher power, I am mystified by the existence of blood periods. I mean, couldn’t we women have been designed a little better? Why do we have to bleed? It’s so humiliating and degrading, to me. It’s not just some mysteriously enticing body secretion, it’s BLOOD: a bad-smelling substance that reminds us of violence, wounds, war—coming out of our vaginas, a part of our bodies that’s supposed to represent beauty, sensitivity and regenerative power. How undignified! How evocative of all the abuse and enslavement we’ve suffered over the aeons! It almost feels like something a really cruel man would invent as our ultimate humiliation. I mean, how would men feel if their penises bled regularly, and it hurt and made them feel ill? Would that make them feel manly? Is this really some kind of curse that we accepted, and never quite figured out… and learned to develop all kinds of romantic New Agey rationalizations for?

I don’t know. There are times I think that we women have punished ourselves by learning to bleed. What if we could teach our wombs to just chill out and stop producing that damn endometrium unless we actually were trying to conceive a child? I mean, do we need to be baby-ready 24/7? Is being a woman all about childbearing, anyway? To me, it is not. It is about a lot of things, but I think the idea of a woman’s body being eternally receptive to sperm seems instinctively wrong… like maybe we haven’t mastered some secrets of feminine biological power. (I also think it is possible for women to control conception without pills and artificial devices, just through the mind—but that’s a topic for another day.)

I’ve tried to accept the concept of bleeding, but the more I try, the more I just rebel against it. I don’t like calling periods “moon time.” It feels too complacent to me, too politically correct. There is nothing lovely and romantic to me about this time. To me, it’s just a PERIOD… kind of like detention. It’s a week out of each month—one quarter of my entire life—where I feel fat and achy, weak, and dirty. And for all of the old-school feminists of the world who find that last adjective offensive… let’s call a spade a spade. There is NOTHING CLEAN about menstrual flow. It’s blood mixed with mucous and pieces of the inside of your uterus, for crying out loud. Blood is what comes out of a raw steak. Blood is what comes out of someone when you knife them. Blood is what mosquitoes suck from our flesh. For exactly one quarter of our lives as childbearing women, we (biological women at least) have to sit around figuring out ways to clean blood off ourselves, and to avoid showing it to the world. There is no one that can tell me this isn’t gross—and somehow, just really, really wrong.

If it weren’t for my fondness for breasts and my revulsion toward surgery, I might have gone FTM a long time ago. And when I get a chance to pick out my next body, next time around I’ll probably return to a male form. Being a woman is so confusing to me on so many levels. There are some things I like about it—like the ability to cry, love boys freely, wear flowered shirts and be sensitive without being called a faggot—but so many more things I can do without. And bleeding is one of the biggest.

In the end, I just feel confused by femininity. I honor it, I respect it, but I feel so often like I’ve wandered into it as a tourist, and found that I’ve gotten into something that’s way over my head. And occasionally, I want out. Sometimes it’s hard for me to sort out what is true femininity—which to me, is POWERFUL—and the disease, the “curse” of female disempowerment that on affects nearly all double X-ers to some extent. There are days I could completely imagine living without breasts. There are other days I marvel at the fact that I’ve managed to bear and nurse a child. It feels so odd to think about this. I don’t want to do it again—once was enough. Even if I actually wanted a second child, which I don’t, I can’t imagine going through childbirth again. If being a woman is like a daily dose of culture shock to my brain, labor to me felt like being initiated into a secret society where you have to learn to eat worms and get tattooed by herds of fire ants. All I kept thinking during that experience was, “WT…F!!!!” It was strange… to put it mildly.
I don’t know if things will change once I hit menopause—that alone has its share of strange symptoms I am sure I won’t be thrilled about. I feel like what I dislike most about being a woman, is feeling my body is a usable commodity with an expiration date. A man is always a man, he is always the same, he is always manly at any age. A man can even improve with age. He is not stalled or even stopped in his tracks by the humiliations of blood and pain. He is not slowed down and weakened by pregnancies, nursing, hormonal fluctuations. He doesn’t have to focus on such gruesomely elemental concerns all the time. He can have one foot in the ether and one foot on the earth. For a woman, it is very hard to get that second foot out of the earth. Even if she never is able to bear a child, her body always taunts her with the prospect. Even if she never wants a child, she has to put up with this monthly bleeding. And if she does have a child, she cannot be left alone. She is weak and needs help and support.

I know it’s really not the feminist thing to do, criticizing our most sacred bodily function. But when I think about it instinctively, I just still feel like it is wrong, strange. And even if this suspicion of biological foul play ousts me from the inner circle of estrogen-worshipping goddess warriors, I’m going to be honest about it. I hate to bleed. And I question why a God who can create the aurora borealis, puppies and macadamia nuts couldn’t have figured this one out a little better.

And in my most painful moments, I occasionally wonder whether this was actually Her intention at all.

© Sarah Noack 2007

Here’s a fun little list I gathered to help all future visitors of my beautiful ex-city of residence dispel boredom:

1. Remove all the orange “modesty covers” from all the Cosmos and swimsuit issues at Ukrops (the only grocery chain store in town with a real health food section. You have to be a member of a church congregation in order to work there). Hide them in the bottom of the “Bargain Inspirational Books” bin.
2. Write the lyrics of songs by gay vegetarian 80’s bands on the dust of pickup trucks at the parking lot of Gander Mountain Sporting Goods.
3. Loudly say, “I chose life,” to the Sunday-starched family that whispers behind your back as you pay for your kid’s organic fruit roll-ups with an EBT card.
4. Call the many newly-razed commercial land lots in town, and say that you are a manufacturer of edible underwear who would like to start a production plant at this location.
5. Walk around with a laquered-up faux-hawk and Terminator shades as you wheel your child around in a grocery cart, and take spy camera pictures of people’s uneasy stares.
6. Wear a T-shirt that says, “I Support Gay Marriage.” Wear anything (ANYTHING) with a rainbow on it. Wear a tie (if you’re female) or a eyeshadow (if you’re a guy). Wear any vaguely Wiccan symbol at all, even something like the Proctor-Gamble logo which sort of looks like a moon and stars. Watch parents steer the kids away from you.
7. Overhear some kids talking to their mom at Taco Bell about how their friends are going to hell because they don’t believe in Jesus, and think Christmas is just about Santa and presents. Lean over and say, “Well, I’m Jewish and I don’t believe in Santa either. But I’ll have fun in hell opening Chanukah presents for eight days in a row!”
8. When an old lady hisses, “That’s MERRY CHRISTMAS to you,” when you say “Happy Holidays,” smile and repeat politely, “No… ‘Happy Holidays,’ Ma’am. I’m Jewish, and so were some of the Founding Fathers who signed our Constitution… you know, that little piece of paper that grants us all freedom of religion.”
9. Read right-wing bumper stickers while stuck in traffic. My favorite: “One war protester is not worth the spit of one member of the American military.” Also up on my list: “Guns Save Lives.” “You CANNOT be Catholic and pro-choice.” “I stand with President Bush.” (And will you fall with him, too?).
10. Count religious license places. IE: “GZUSFRK,” “PROLF,” “HESAVS,” “BLESSD…”
11. When cashiers asks you to “have a blessed day,” act confused and say, “As opposed to a cursed day?”
12. Count the number of Confederate flags you see in a day… on shirts, bikes, cars, tongue rings, can sleeves, dog sweaters…
13. Wonder why there are so many bumper stickers for the Paul Stefan Home for Unwed Mothers, but for some reason, you’ve never actually seen the place. Wonder why they choose a stork for their logo when the whole reason someone goes there is that they got knocked up. Wonder why “unwed” mothers have to be stashed in some home, anyway. Wonder why on earth supporting these places somehow is supposed to be empathic and empowering to single moms. Wonder if all these rabidly pro-life moms kick their pregnant teenage daughters out of the house to save face. Wonder if these places make money. Consider taking up a nicotine habit to get these thoughts out of your head.
14. Consider the nicotine idea more seriously. After all, there is a tobacco store on almost every block, and since this is Virginia, there’s no tax because smoking is not considered a sin. But the use of marital aids, on the other hand… that’s not only a sin, it’s illegal.
15. Try to pay your electric bill at a check cashing place. Get told by every place in town that they are not authorized payment centers. After the tenth place, get frustrated and be told “not to pull an attitude with us, lady.” Look online for the one random Indian deli in town that is. Find it in an abandoned parking lot on the bad side of town, in a storefront with almost no merchandise. Wonder if the place is a drug dealer front. Sort of wish it was.
16. Consider a drug habit.
17. Consider a whipped cream habit.
18. Count steak, rib and BBQ houses in town. Stop at 50. Count vegetarian restaurants. Find none.
19. Count paintball places. Find many. Count gay bars. Find none.
20. Call the Spotsylvania Town Center management company and say you’d like to open a Christian Marital Aids shop called “His Pleasures.” In a kiosk.
21. Wait 45 minutes in line at Carl’s for a drippy (but famous) old-school soft-serve ice cream cone. Forget that they only accept cash. Find a $5 bill in a compartment in your purse. Read a sign upon approaching the window that says “Sorry for the inconvenience, we are out of 1’s. Can you help us?”
22. Count the Starbucks in town. Use toes when you run out of fingers. Wonder how such a soulless, overmarketed chain could possibly survive when there are such amazing local java joints like Tickers and that place off Spotsy Crossing that used to be a dollar store.
23. Stand in front of a Christian bookstore and campaign for Equality Now.
24. Drive your non-transparent 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, and 7 plastics, and colored cardboard waste miles away to be recycled because the county dump and private disposal companies all just draw blank stares when you say that you actually care about this.
25. Get invited to play the organ in a Southern Baptist church by a total stranger who learns that you bought a synthesizer on Craigslist. (Yes, this really happened to me).
26. Attend a Nascar race. Pack wine coolers. Offer to spectators. Watch reactions.
27. Publicly consume tofu.
28. Drive to Fairview beach. Find out it’s not even a beach at all, but a few square feet of mosquito-infested riverbank. Have fun tossing pebbles into the water. Go home.
29. Spend your entire tax refund on fireworks.
30. Memorize the lyrics of bluegrass, country and gospel songs. Sing along to them on the radio.
31. Change the station, think you’re hearing the beginning of some cool Nirvana-influenced garage band. Listen and think, “Hey, see, it’s not so bad on the radio here, who is this cool new band?” Feel intrigued. Hear lyrics. “…AND HE DIED FOR YOUR SINS.” Change station again.
32. Try to get around without a car. Try to cross street for fifteen minutes. Consider a suit of armor.

And when you’re done having fun all day…

Run into Borders. Buy Bust, Curve, On Our Backs, random zines made by depressed college students with drug habits. Order some silver tips jasmine tea. Sit down. Relax. Sigh. Sing “Why Georgia Why.” Get a cookie or something to wash away the pain. Grab a store calendar. Hear a gay accent in the distance (occasionally) and perk up. Listen to songs that aren’t about God, hunting, blondes or trucks. Resolve to purchase a marital aid, even if you have to take out a loan and travel to Delaware for it. Promise yourself that THIS is the week you’ll get a sitter and finally try to attend that poetry slam, even if it sucks.

Oh wait… that rhymed. (See, I really do need to get to that poetry slam.)

Maybe I might even run into a vegetarian. Who doesn’t believe that orgasms obtained by any means other than the genital apparatus of an opposite-sex spouse, should be against the law.

Maybe they’ll even ask me out on a paintball date.

I can’t wait.

© Sarah Noack 2007

More Joe Isuzu messages on the health care bill.  Hey, if you push the start date out 4.5 years then the “10 year costs” look more reasonable.

Hat tip: Verum Serum

—

A false teacher moves on from God to the self help movement — Hey, that’s Doctor Juanita Bynum to you, buddy.

—

—

Adam Lambert shows how it isn’t just about sex, it is about monogamous relationships.  Oh, wait, no he didn’t.  How classy of him to simulate oral sex on a show that kids watch, and how swell that ABC used his performance to promote the show.

—

Dr. Alveda King: Where are the pro-choicers in the case of forced abortion? – They have to try and hide things like this or it might make abortionists look bad.

—

Demographic Implosion Spurs Panicked South Korea to Enforce Abortion Ban – interesting.  I wonder if Europe will follow suit in time to avoid being completely overrun by Muslims?

—

see more Lolcats and funny pictures

I have a friend who needs the community’s support. And we need his leadership.

A few months ago, while waiting for the start of the True Diversity Dinner, collecting myself in preparation for hosting the event, a stranger walked over to where I was sitting and randomly handed me a note card containing the names of every elected official in attendance. I was aware of most of the names, and had already planned on mentioning everyone. But there were a few important people who I had no idea had shown up, and all of a sudden, there they were, neatly compiled on the note card now sitting in front of me. This gentleman knew very well – better than I did – that it’s easier than you might think to blank on names while on stage (or during Katie Couric interviews), and he didn’t want me to leave anyone out; wanted to make sure the event went smoothly. Even after years of experience on stage, I had managed to space on a general rule. That’s how I met Christopher Constant. He had my back even before I knew his name.

Well, now Christopher wants to stand up for this community. He’s tired of the LGBT community being Jerry Prevo’s punching bag. He believes in this city and this state and thinks it’s about time that we drag that stubborn right foot out of the dark ages. Yesterday, I received this email from him:

“Please come support the effort to organize a campaign to elect an openly lesbian, gay, bisexual, or transgender Alaskan elected official. To the best knowledge of everyone I know, Alaska has never elected an OUT gay, lesbian, bisexual, or transgender candidate elected to public office. NOW IS THE TIME.

I (Christopher Constant) have been invited and given a scholarship to the Gay and Lesbian Leadership Institute’s candidate and campaign training coupled with the 25th annual LGBT International Leadership Conference in San Francisco, Dec 2 – Dec 6, 2009.

I was awarded a $1,200 scholarship for the training. I have invested my own treasure substantially. I am hoping you can come and share a small bit of your treasure to help cover the rest of the cost. I could use your help.

People have asked what seat I am planning to run for. This effort is bigger than me. It is about electing a candidate. It may be me, but I have no plans in the next two years of running. Instead, I intend to take the time to organize so that when 2012 rolls around, the effort has more chance of success.

http://www.glli.org/training/candidate_campaign
http://www.victoryfund.org/files/conference2009/glli.html

I have consulted with APOC and because this campaign is neither connected with a specific candidate nor a specific piece of legislation, I don’t have to say ‘Paid for by’ anybody.”

This is a huge step forward for our community. Leadership needs to be built from the bottom up, or else you end up with a few folks, who were already at the top, in control of those at the bottom. Alaska is known for it’s established, corrupt leadership; in government and religious institutions alike. We have a lot of great people working to change that, but they need our committed support, as well as a steady flow of reinforcements. This is an uphill struggle against very well rooted opposition, as many here in Anchorage most recently saw over the summer during the battle for equality, which failed due to fear mongering from certain radio personalities, bused in masses from Wal*churches like the Anchorage Baptist Temple, Change Point, and the Independent Baptist Church of Wasilla, and a final veto from a Mayor who knows a little something about dynastic privilege.

There is a good chance that we will lose some key seats on the Assembly this April if we don’t start to dig our heels in and fight back against the “sky is falling” mentality that is already spreading faster than the lies that created it. This is a time to connect with each other, strengthen bonds, educate, prepare. It takes a strong character to have the courage to vocally stand up and fight, but that’s exactly the medicine that we so desperately need.

You may not know him yet, but Christopher Constant already has your back.

I’ll personally be donating $100 to his effort, and it would mean a lot to me, personally, and a lot of other people if you came down and showed support as well. Twenty bucks, five bucks; a beer and well wishes. Whatever you can afford.

Monday night, 6-8pm at Mad Myrna’s, 503 East 5th Avenue, downtown Anchorage.

I truly hope to see you there.

My Thoughts and Wishes to All for the Coming Year: Happy Holidays!

Remember the time you drove all night
Just to meet me in the morning
And I thought it was strange you said everything changed
You felt as if you’d just woke up
And you said “this is the first day of my life
I’m glad I didn’t die before I met you
But now I don’t care I could go anywhere with you
And I’d probably be happy”

-Bright Eyes

Bright Eyes: First Day Of My Life

Please Share This:

Great song, Hot video!  Adam Lambert has brought life back to the music industry

پیوند به منبع

Iran: Stop Executions for Sodomy Charges

Join the International Gay and Lesbian Human Rights Commission (IGLHRC), Iranian Queers Organization (IRQO) and COC Netherlands in calling on Iranian authorities to stop the numerous executions of minors and adults accused of sodomy. Also join us in calling on Western countries with significant diplomatic and economic ties to Iran, including Germany, France, Canada, as well as the European Union, to pursue diplomatic efforts to cease these executions.

Use our electronic system below to send a letter in English to the foreign officials and another letter in Persian to Iranian officials.

Take Action Now

The Issue

The courts in Iran have sentenced a number of men to death after they were accused and convicted of sodomy. Under Iranian law, sodomy includes sexual intercourse between members of the same sex, and is illegal. The punishment for same-sex intercourse between two men (Lavaat) is death and between two women (Mosaheghe) is 100 lashes for the first three offenses and the death penalty for the fourth.

Most, if not all of these arbitrary executions orders follow rushed trials with little adherence to procedure. Judges overseeing sodomy cases often ignore the strict guidelines of the Iranian Penal Code, and instead use questionable investigative methods and inadmissible evidence to decide the case. Frequently, the convictions are based on forced confessions, made under extreme psychological pressure and torture. Additionally, at least three lawyers who have defended people accused of sodomy have expressed fear of harassment and intimidation by the government and vigilantes. The courts do not allow independent observers to examine cases. Such practices violate the defendants’ human rights to a fair trial, free from torture.

In most cases, the Court convicts the defendants of sodomy charges solely on the basis of “the knowledge of the judge”. According to Iranian law, when there is not enough evidence to convict a defendant of a sexual crime, the judge may use his knowledge, in a deductive process based on the evidence that already exists, to determine whether the crime took place or not. Unfortunately, the excessive use of this principle means that rather than paying attention to evidence, the judge often sentences defendants to death based on his speculations. A number of prominent legal and religious scholars believe that such a broad application of the “the knowledge of the judge” to issue death penalty for sexual crimes is in violation of the letter and the spirit of Sharia law.

Regardless of the procedural errors of the trials, Iran’s practice of punishing sexual crimes such as sodomy with the death penalty is cruel, disproportionate to the nature of the crime, and inherently arbitrary under international law. The United Nations Human Rights Committee has stated that under the International Covenant on Civil and Political Rights (ICCPR), to which Iran is a party, applying the death penalty for ‘homosexual acts’ violates Article 6, and that criminalization of private sexual relations between consenting adults is contrary to Articles 17 and 26. Additionally, the Special Rapporteur on Extra-Judicial, Summary, and Arbitrary Executions has expressed concern numerous times about the use of the death penalty for consensual sodomy and has stated that criminalizing sodomy “increases the social stigmatization of members of sexual minorities, which in turn makes them more vulnerable to violence and human rights abuses, including violations of the right to life.”

Alarmingly, some of the defendants sentenced to death were tried for sexual acts they were accused of committing as minors. Article 111 of Iran’s Islamic Penal Code states that, “Sodomy is only punishable by death if both parties are adults and of sound mind” and Article 6(5) of the ICCPR states that “[A] sentence of death shall not be imposed for crimes committed by persons below eighteen years of age.” Thus, neither Iranian law nor international law permits the execution of these young men.
Background

The following sodomy cases have been brought in the Iranian judicial system within the past three years. We are still investigating other possible cases in which men have been charged with sodomy, convicted, and sentenced to death.

1. Ghaseem Bashkool, son of AzizAllah and born in 1984, was arrested along with another young man on May 31, 2007 on charges of sodomy. Both men were convicted despite an absence of credible evidence, and sentenced to death. At the time of the arrest, Qhassem was a third-year student of applied mathematics, but following his arrest, he was expelled from the university. The negative publicity around his case also took a toll on his family, causing them great social and economic hardship.

The First District of the Criminal Court of the Ardabil province found both men guilty of sodomy and sentenced them to death. In February 2009, an open letter surfaced on the Internet in which he pleaded for his life. In his letter, Ghassem insisted that the sodomy allegation was baseless and that in the absence of any credible evidence, the judge had referred to the “knowledge of the judge” as the basis of his ruling. At the time of the writing of the letter, Ghassem had spent 20 months in Ardebil prison.

Despite repeated efforts by a number of lawyers and human rights defenders inside Iran to investigate the situation, it currently remains unclear.

2. In February 2009, an informed source at the Fars Province Bar Association confirmed that the Fourth District of the Criminal Court in the Fars Province had convicted a man of sodomy and, in accordance with Article 110 of the Islamic Penal Code, had sentenced him to the death penalty, which would be administered by throwing him off a cliff.

Following the gruesome ruling of the Court, the accuser decided to withdraw his complaint and asked the Court to close the case. Instead, the Court ruled that the public aspect of the case (in the Court’s language, “the violation of the divine law”), forces the Court to prosecute the defendant regardless of the accuser’s demand. However, in the absence of the private complaint, the Court ordered a retrial and that the earlier ruling to be nullified.

We are still in the process of gathering information regarding the current status of the ruling and the defendant.

3. On Aug 9, 2008, the Iranian reformist newspaper Kargozaran, which was later shut down by the government, reported on the conviction of 4 young men in Tabriz (North-Western Iran) for sodomy. According to the report, Mahdi Pooran (17-years-old), Hamid Taghi, Ebrahim Hamidi, and Mehdi Rezaii were found guilty of sodomy by the Second District Criminal Court of Tabriz in July 2008, and were sentenced to death. The case was based on a complaint by a 19-year old man with a history of family feuds with the defendants, Hojat, who accused the defendants of physical and sexual assault. Although Hojat consistently told the court that he had no witness for his alleged rape, in the last session of the court he introduced 3 of his male relatives as witnesses to the rape. Given the absence of 4 male witnesses, the Court’s ruling was based on the “knowledge of the judge.”

The prominent Iranian human rights lawyer, Mohammad Mostafaii, who represented the four defendants, believes his clients were framed. In a post to his blog, he says that following a fist fight between his clients and a group of four young men who trespassed and were damaging a piece of land owned by Ebrahim’s father, the police intervened and arrested his clients, accusing them of gang-rape. Since his clients declared their innocence, the police officials started beating and torturing them for 3 days, hoping that at least one of them would confess to the sexual act. After 3 days, the police referred the case to the court as a sodomy rape case.

After the initial hearing, the court ordered the release of the men on $10,000 bail, but it took the defendants 28 days to provide the bail and get out of jail. Fifty-five days later, during the trial, the Deputy District Attorney requested the death penalty for the defendants. The court sentenced all defendants to death penalty, which will be carried out after approval by the Iranian Supreme Court at an unspecified time.

4. In February 2008, reports surfaced of the arrest of two young men, Hamze Chavoshi (19 years old) and Loghman Hamzepour (18 years old), in the Kurdish city of Sardasht in Western Iran. Both men were accused of sodomy. Their current status is under investigation.

5. Sources have informed us that a Court in Shiraz found Mohsen Ghabraii guilty of sodomy and sentenced him to death. Despite his lawyer’s appeal, his death sentence was upheld by the Supreme Court and it will be carried out soon. Mohsen, who at the time of the alleged crime was a minor, has pleaded not guilty and has insisted on his innocence ever since.

6. Nemat Safavi, now 19 years old, was arrested in June 2006 at age 16 for alleged sodomy. According to reports in 2008, the Criminal Court in Ardebil sentenced him to death. Nemat was first sent to a juvenile detention center and was later admitted to the young adult prison facility in Ardebil, waiting for his death sentence to be reviewed by the Supreme Court.

According to an investigation performed by the Committee of Human Rights Reporters (CHRR) in November 2009, the Supreme Court overturned Nemat’s death sentence on March 4, 2009 and sent the case to another criminal court in Ardebil for retrial. Efforts are currently underway to provide Nemat with a defense lawyer who can convince the court of his innocence and prevent another death sentence for him.

Send a message
Take Action Now

Contact Information

Please use the Persian text below, based on the English sample letter, and write to Iranian officials to ask them to use their authority to stop the pending executions on sodomy charges and to put an end to criminalizing same-sex intercourse. We also request that you use the English sample letter to write the Western governments with diplomatic and economic ties to Iran, urging them to pressure Iran to end the killing of its citizens for sodomy convictions.

Please send the letter below in Persian to:

Supreme Leader of Iran, Ayatollah Khamenei
info@leader.ir
istiftaa@leader.ir
Chief Justice of Iran, Ayatollah Sadeq Amoli Larijani
Larijani@Dadgostary-tehran.ir
Foreign Minister of Iran, Mr. Manouchehr Mottaki
matbuat@mfa.gov.ir

Please send the English letter to the following European authorities:

The Presidency of the European Union, Swedish Prime Minister Mr. Fredrik Reinfeldt
roberta.alenius@primeminister.ministry.se
registrator@primeminister.ministry.se
Foreign Minister of Sweden, Ms. Carl Bildt
registrator@foreign.ministry.se
carl.bildt@foreign.ministry.se
Foreign Minister of Germany, Dr Guido Westerwelle
guido.westerwelle@bundestag.de
guido.westerwelle@auswaertiges-amt.de
Foreign Minister of France, Dr Bernard Kouchner
bernard.kouchner@diplomatie.gouv.fr
Canadian Foreign Mistier, Honorable Lawrence Cannon
l.cannon@international.gc.ca

Please send a copy of your letters to:

IGLHRC
communications+action.alert@iglhrc.org

Sample English Letter to European Officials

Your Excellency:

I am writing to request an immediate intervention to save the lives of a number of Iranian men, including minors and people who were minors at the time the alleged crimes occurred, who are currently in detention after having been convicted of sodomy and sentenced to death. These men include Ghaseem Bashkool, Mahdi Pooran, Hamid Taghi, Ebrahim Hamidi, Mehdi Rezaii, Hamze Chavoshi, Loghman Hamzepour, Mohsen Ghabraii, and Nemat Safavi (see appendix for more information about their cases).

As you know, Iran has one of the highest rates of execution in the world. Imposing the death penalty for sexual crimes is a cruel and unusual form of punishment, which violates international human rights law. The United Nations Human Rights Committee has stated that under the International Covenant on Civil and Political Rights (ICCPR), to which Iran is a party, that applying the death penalty for ‘homosexual acts’ violates Article 6, and that criminalization of private sexual relations between consenting adults is contrary to Articles 17 and 26. Additionally, the Special Rapporteur on Extra-Judicial, Summary, and Arbitrary Executions has expressed concern numerous times about the use of the death penalty for consensual sodomy and has stated that criminalizing sodomy “increases the social stigmatization of members of sexual minorities, which in turn makes them more vulnerable to violence and human rights abuses, including violations of the right to life.”

Over the past three decades, the Iranian authorities have persecuted many of their citizens for sodomy, a crime that the Iranian Penal Code states is punishable by death. Unfortunately, the sodomy law has been frequently used to punish minors and consenting adults who were privately involved in same-sex practices, and those who have never been involved in such practices.

Although the Iranian Penal Code is very strict about the level of evidence required to prove sodomy, including a requirement of the testimony of four, reliable, male witnesses who have seen the sexual act and are able and willing to testify before the court, the courts often rely on inadmissible or unreliable methods. These methods frequently include forced confession under severe physical and psychological pressure or torture, the speculation of the judge (known as the “knowledge of the judge”), forced medical exams, and reports by informers.

The defendants are denied fair and open trials; due to the taboo nature of sexual crimes, lawyers, human rights activists and reporters find it next to impossible to advocate on behalf of the defendants. Furthermore, the Iranian judicial system does not allow independent observers to examine the outcome of the courts and those who dare to advocate for the defendants are often harassed by the government and vigilantes.

The lack of transparency and due process for defendants, the imposition of the death penalty for minors, and the frequent violations of strict guidelines of the Iranian Penal Code for trying sexual crimes demonstrate the fundamentally unjust nature and implementation of the sodomy law in Iran. Regardless of the sexual orientation and gender identity of these individuals, the Iranian government should not murder its own citizens based on allegations of sexual behaviors that are nearly impossible to prove under Iranian legal standards.

I strongly urge you and your government to use your diplomatic influence on Iran to stop the pending executions of the minor and adult men already convicted of sodomy.

Respectfully,

Name:
Organization:
Country:

محضر مبارک حضرت آیت الله سید علی خامنه ای، مقام معظم رهبری جمهوری اسلامی ایران،

پس از عرض سلام و تقدیم احترامات فائقه، محترما به استحضار حضرتعالی میرساند که غرض از نگارش این نامه، تقاضای تجدیدنظر در پرونده تعدادی از شهروندان نوجوان و جوان ایرانی است که طی سنوات گذشته در دادگاه متهم به عمل لواط شده و از سوی مقامات قوه محترمه قضاییه به اعدام محکوم گردیده اند.

نکته قابل توجه در اکثر پرونده های ذیل این است که، قضات محترم دادگاه بر خلاف نص مواد 114 تا 126 قانون مجازات اسلامی، و تنها با استناد به اعترافات اولیه متهمان که در زمان بازپرسی و تحت آزار و اذیت صورت میگیرد و یا به استناد ادعای شاکی (و بدون داشتن 4 شاهد عادل) ، حکم اعدام متهمان را صادر مینمایند. این در حالی است که مطابق ماده 116 قانون مجازات اسلامی، در مورد لواط ” اقرار در صورتي نافذ است كه اقرار كننده بالغ ، عاقل ، مختار و داراي قصد باشد .” مضافا اینکه ماده 118 قانون مجازات اسلامی مقرر میدارد که ” با شهادت كمتر از ‌چهار مرد عادل لواط ثابت نميشود و شهود به قذف محكوم ميشوند‌”.

بعلاوه مکررا مشاهده گردیده است که در غیاب ادله کافی، دادگاه “علم قاضی” را مبنای صدور حکم اعدام برای محکومین به لواط قرار میدهد. هرچند در پرونده های مرتبط با لواط، علم قاضی میتواند بعنوان ادله مورد استناد قرار گیرد، ماده 120 قانون مجازات اسلامی مقرر میدارد که علم قاضی باید “از طرق متعارف حاصل شود”. با توجه به فقدان مدارک و شواهد در این پرونده ها، معلوم نیست قضات محترم از کدام طریق متعارفی علم خود را بدست آورده اند.

از جمله این پرونده های اعدام، میتوان به موارد زیر اشاره نمود:

1. آقای قاسم بشکول فرزند عزیزالله متولد 1363 که در تاریخ 10/3/1386 با قرار بازداشت از سوی شعبه‌ی یک کیفری استان اردبیل به اتهام لواط به عنف روانه‌ی زندان اردبیل شد. قاضی محترم پرونده، آقای بشکول و دوست وی را علی رغم عدم وجود ادله متقن به اتهام “لواط به عنف” به اعدام محکوم نمود و متهمان پرونده اکنون در زندان بسربرده و در صورت عدم الغای حکم اعدامشان، به طناب دار آویخته خواهند شد.

2. مطابق مندرجات نشریه اینترنتی “روز آنلاین” در اول اسفند سال 1387 ، شعبه چهارم دادگاه کيفري استان فارس، فردی را بدلیل ارتکاب عمل لواط به اعدام از طریق پرتاب از کوه محکوم نمود. متعاقب باخبر شدن شاکي پرونده از چنين حکمي، وی رسما اعلام نمود که موضوع شکايتش به کلي منتفي بوده و ‏ ضمن رضايت دادن، درخواست مختومه کردن پرونده را مي نماید. اما دادگاه محترم با این ادله که با توجه به جنبه حق الهي در پرونده لواط، ‏رضايت شاکي برای مختومه نمودن پرونده کافي نيست، حکم به اعاده دادرسي این پرونده مینماید.‏ پرونده مذکور علیرغم وجود شاکی خصوصی همچنان مفتوح بوده و متهم همچنان در انتظار حکم دادگاه میباشد.

3. قضات محترم شعبه دوم دادگاه كيفري استان آذربايجان شرقي چهار نفر به نامهاي حميد طاقی، ابراهيم حمیدی، مهدي پوران (که مطابق اتهامات وارده در زمان ارتکاب عمل 17 سال بیشتر نداشته) و محمد رضایی را به اتهام لواط به استناد علم قاضي در خرداد ماه سال هشتاد و هفت به اعدام محكوم نمودند . متهمین فوق الذکر در حال حاضر در زندان تبریز بوده ودر انتظار تقاضای تجدید نظر در حکم صادره از سوی دیوان عالی کشور به سر میبرند.

مطابق اظهارات وکیل متهمین، این چهار نفر ساعاتی پس از درگیری با چهار جوان که مشغول تخريب زمين كشاورزي متعلق به پدر ابراهيم بودند، از سوی نیروهای انتظامی دستگیر شدند. دستگیری متهمان پس از آن صورت گرفت که جوان 19 ساله‌ای به نام حجت ، که یکی از افراد مشغول به تخریب زمین کشاورزی و دارای سابقه دشمنی خانوادگی با متهمین بود، با مراجعه به پلیس مدعی شد كه این چهار نفر با او درگیرشده و سپس به او تعرض جنسی كرده‌اند. آقایان طاقی، حمیدی، پوران و رضایی میگویند ماموران پلیس سه روز آنها را در کلانتری محل مورد شکنجه و ضرب و شتم قرار دادند تا آنها به “عمل لواط” اعتراف کنند. نیروهای انتظامی حتی پیشنهاد دادند که ” اگر يك نفر از شما اين كار را گردن بگيرد يك نفر شما به زندان خواهد رفت و بقيه شما آزاد می شوید “. علیرغم تداوم ضرب و شتم و فشار پلیس، هیچ یک از دستگیر شدگان به انجام عمل لواط اعتراف ننمودند.

دادگاه ابتدایی با صدور قرار 10 ميليون توماني به عنوان وثيقه برای آزادی موقت متهمین موافقت مینماید، اما چهار متهم نامبرده بدلیل نداشتن مبلغ لازم 28 روز را در زندان سپری نمودند. در تاريخ 20/3/87 دادگاه رسیدگی به این پرونده تشکیل جلسه داد و متهمان پرونده بر بیگناهی خود تاکید کردند. اما معاون دادستان بر اساس اتهام عمل لواط، برای متهمین تقاضای اعدام کرد.

شعبه دوم دادگاه كيفري استان آذربايجان شرقي پس از گذشت سه ماه از تشكيل پرونده با استناد به علم قاضي در تاریخ 30/4/1387حكم به اعدام اين چهار نفر داده است. به گفته وکیل پرونده، شاکی در تمام مراحل دادرسی اعلام کرده بود که شاهدی برای اثبات ادعای خود ندارد ، ولی وی در آخرین جلسه دادگاه سه نفر از اقوام خود را به عنوان شاهد معرفی و آنها نیز شهادت کذب به زیان متهمان پرونده می دهند.

4. در بهمن ماه سال 1377 دوجوان به نامهاي “حمزه چاوي” 19 ساله و “لقمان حمزه پور” 18 ساله در شهرستان سردشت به دليل ارتکاب لواط بازداشت شدند و متاسفانه تا کنون از وضعیت آنها اطلاعی در دست نیست.

5. مطابق اطلاع ما، محسن قبرایی، نوجوان شیرازی از سوی دادگاه به اتهام انجام عمل لواط به اعدام محکوم گردید و مدتی پیش نیز حکم اعدام وی از سوی دیوان عالی کشور تنفیذ گردید. وی همواره بر بیگناهی خود اصرار داشته و حتی مطابق پرونده دادگاه، اتهام لواط وی به زمانی برمیگردد که وی هنوز به سن بلوغ نرسیده بود. با اینهمه چنانچه حکم دادگاه نقض نشود، محسن بزودی اعدام خواهد شد.

6. آقای نعمت صفوي ، فرزند اکبر و متولد سال 1368 هجری خورشیدی، در سال 1385 در سن 16 سالگي به دليل ارتکاب عمل لواط بازداشت و پس از محاکمه در دادگاه اطفال از سوي دادگستري اردبيل به اعدام محکوم گرديد . پس از بیش از32 ماه حبس، سرانجام در تاریخ 14 اسفند سال 1387 دیوان عالی کشور حکم اعدام وی را رد نمود و پرونده وی اکنون برای اعاده دادرسی به شعبه هم ارز اعاده شده است. پرونده آقای صفوی، هنوز مفتوح بوده و احتمال محکومیت اعدام وی بدلیل اتهام لواط در زمانی که وی هنوز به سن بلوغ نرسیده بود، وجود دارد.

رهبر معظم نظام جمهوری اسلامی،

حضرتعالی بعنوان بالاترین مقام سیاسی و مذهبی در ایران، میتوانید از اختیارات قانونی و حقوقی خود استفاده کرده و تقاضای تعلیق یا تنسیخ احکام دادگاه را نموده، یا خواستار اعاده دادرسی در این موارد گردید. ما از آن مقام معظم صمیمانه تقاضا داریم که از قدرت قانونی خود بهره جسته و جان این شهروندان بیگناه را از خطر مرگ نجات دهد.

بعقیده ما مجازات اعدام، خصوصا در موارد مربوط به تجاوز به عنف، مجازاتی ناعادلانه و نامتناسب با ماهیت جنحه است. مطابق نظر کمیسیون حقوق بشر سازمان ملل متحد، کشتن افراد بدلیل انجام عمل همجنسگرایانه { که در قوانین جزایی ایران از آن بعنوان لواط نام برده میشود} نقض ماده 6 ميثاق بين المللي حقوق مدني و سياسي میباشد. بعلاوه کمیسیون حقوق بشر سازمان ملل مقرر میدارد که قتل کسانی که عاقل و بالغ بوده و با اختیار تام خود در خلوت با یکدیگر رابطه همجنسگرایانه برقرار میکنند، ناقض ماده 17 و 26 کنوانسیون فوق میباشد. ماده 9 قانون مدني جمهوری اسلامی ایران مقرر میدارد که « مقررات عهودي كه بر طبق قانون اساسي بين دولت ايران و ساير دول منعقد شده باشد در حكم قانون است». از آنجا که ميثاق ياد شده در سال 1354 به تصويب مجلس شورای ملی رسيده و تاكنون نيز قانوني مخالف با اين بند ميثاق وضع نشده، حکم اعدام برای عمل لواط، هم ناقض ميثاق بين المللي حقوق مدني و سياسي و هم ناقض قانون مدنی جمهوری اسلامی ایران است .

در برخی از موارد فوق، متهمان پرونده ، بدلیل ارتکاب عملی که بعنوان یک طفل و قبل از رسیدن به سن بلوغ صورت گرفته است به اعدام محکوم گردیده اند. این امر خلاف مقررات حقوقی وبین المللی است. ماده 49 قانون مجازات اسلامی مقرر میدارد که ” اطفال درصورت ارتكاب جرم مبري از مسووليت كيفري هستند”. مطابق بند 5 ماده 6 ميثاق بين المللي حقوق مدني و سياسي: «حكم مجازات مرگ نبايد براي جرم‌هايي كه افراد زير 18 سال مرتكب شده اند صادر شود». ماده 9 قانون مدني جمهوری اسلامی ایران مقرر میدارد که « مقررات عهودي كه بر طبق قانون اساسي بين دولت ايران و ساير دول منعقد شده باشد در حكم قانون است». از آنجا که ميثاق ياد شده در سال 1354 به تصويب مجلس شورای ملی رسيده و تاكنون نيز قانوني مخالف با اين بند ميثاق وضع نشده، بنابر اين حکم اعدام اطفال زیر 18 سال، هم ناقض ميثاق بين المللي حقوق مدني و سياسي و هم ناقض قانون مدنی جمهوری اسلامی ایران است .

جدای از قوانین و تعهدات بین المللی که جمهوری اسلامی ایران بدانها پایبند است ، بسیاری از علمای معظم شیعه، از جمله آیات اعظام صانعی و محقق داماد، حکم مجازات اعدام برای جرایم جنسی را در زمان غیبت امام معصوم لازم الاجرا نمی دانند.

پیشاپیش از مساعدت معظم له برای حل عاجل این پرونده ها سپاسگذارم و عاجزانه خواهشمندم ترتیبی اتخاذ فرمایید تا در آینده نزدیک شاهد لغو مجازات اعدام برای همه جرایم جنسی، خصوصا عمل لواط، باشیم.

با تقدیم احترامات فائقه

رونوشت:

- حضرت آیت الله آملی لاریجانی ریاست محترم قوه قضائیه جمهوری اسلامی ایران

- جناب آقاي منوچهر متكي وزير محترم امور خارجه جمهوري اسلامي ايران

مطالب مرتبط:
:: Stop Executions for Sodomy Charges

So I’m very excited about my new job and my impending move to Hayward and the East Bay.  After my first day on the job yesterday, me and my boyfriend stopped in at the local gay bar called the Turf.  I’ve been here once before while I was visiting friends and I was reminded how quaint local pubs can be.  This storied establishment has a long history serving the GLBT community here and the long, pronounced bar when you first walk in is a great indicator why.  They’ve added a pool table since I last was here and obviously, you won’t find a patio with such a grand garden anywhere in the bay area.  I’m looking forward to having many a night cap with David and enjoying getting to know some of the locals who frequent the world famous Turf Club. 

The decision to come out is an important part of any gay man’s life. It’s the chance to finally let the people you love see you for who you are. With Thanksgiving fast approaching, you might start thinking that there is no better time to come out and finally be yourself. Equal4All sat down with two gay men as they shared their views about coming out on a holiday.

“Holidays are very family oriented and I get that it’s a comforting time,” said Jon McPhee, 22, but he doesn’t believe that you have to come out on a holiday. “You should find comfort in coming out anytime of the year, you shouldn’t have to fall back on a holiday. But if that’s what it takes for you to come out, more power to you,” he said.

McPhee, who came out earlier this year, also mentions that the relationship that you have with your family is a huge factor in the coming out process. “Ultimately, it’s your own decision when you want to come out, but I just hope that the reason why people come out on holidays aren’t so they can fall back on it because they fear the outcome. It’s always sad when you hear that someone’s coming out process is a trying experience rather than a positive one.”

Colin Sullivan, 22, had similar feelings about coming out on a holiday. He came out to parents earlier this year and said that he may come out to his sister during the upcoming Thanksgiving. But he too, is unsure if coming out on the holiday is the right way to do it. “I don’t think I could do the ‘tell one, tell all’ type of thing. I wouldn’t want such an important part of my life being associated with the holiday,” he said.

“It’s really just such an important time for a gay man, so when you’re ready to tell people, you should regardless of the circumstances, but just try and be aware of what the reactions might be,” Sullivan said.

Though Thanksgiving wouldn’t be the ideal time to come out for a lot of men, for some, it is. “If you want it to be out there quickly, then jump into the deep end and do it, It’s different for everyone; all I know is that I wouldn’t be comfortable doing it that way,” Sullivan said.

So, if you are planning on coming out this Thanksgiving, just make sure you do it on your own terms and that you’re ready for anything thrown back your way. Sullivan said, “Just be strong, be prepared for any reaction possible … but no matter what they say, or how they react, everything gets better with time.”

What are your thoughts on coming out at Thanksgiving? Please share your ideas below!

-Lindsay Dahlstrom

Photo Source 1, 2, 3

Fonte: QueerBlog.

When I graduated from college with an honours degree in history, I moved to Rhode Island and spent about a year selling cars (well, it was a history degree, right?).  I enjoyed Rhode Island.  Nice state.  Rather liberal.  Delightfully bizarre.  But, like the rest of New England, definitely a blue state.

The General Assembly of Rhode Island passed a law which allows domestic partners ((all quotes from the Providence Journal) defined as “”exclusive, intimate and committed relationship” with the deceased and had lived with him or her for at least a year prior to the death; is at least 18, not married to anyone else, not related by blood and who was financially “interdependent”) to bill that would have added “domestic partners” to the list of people authorized by law to make funeral arrangements for each other (okay, that quote is from the newspaper, but the link is to the state house bill).

That sounds reasonable.  If a couple live together, if their lives are entwined emotionally and financially, they should be allowed to plan funerals for each other.  Who could possibly be against that?

Well, the governor of Rhode Island, for one:

Republican Carcieri said: “This bill represents a disturbing trend over the past few years of the incremental erosion of the principles surrounding traditional marriage, which is not the preferred way to approach this issue.["]

Traditional marriage?  So if a 90-year-old man marries an 18-year-old twit with an annoying Cranston whine (even more grating than Fran Drescher’s) and croaks three days later, the twit can plan a funeral.  But two men (or two women, or a man and a woman) who live together for a year (or more!) in “exclusive, intimate and committed relationship” and were financially ”interdependent” cannot do the same for each other?  What lame-ass excuse could the governor possibly give?

[H]e believes a “one year time period is not a sufficient duration to establish a serious bond between two individuals…[relative to] sensitive personal traditions and issues regarding funeral arrangements, burial rights and disposal of human remains.”

So do you suppose he will be asking the state house to pass a bill limiting the funereal rights of those married less than one year?  I doubt it.

Carcieri said he was also uncertain “how it would be ascertained in many circumstances whether [a couple] had been in a relationship for year” since there is “no official or recognized form” of domestic partnership agreement in Rhode Island. He called this proviso “vague and ill-defined.”

You have got to be shitting me.  Conservatives (usually Republicans) stand foursquare against any recognition of human rights including (but not limited to): gay marriage, gay partnerships, gays, living gays, etc.  And now this Republican governor claims that since there is no official recognition he doesn’t know how the relationship would be  ascertained?  Bullshit. 

According to one of the representatives in the state house,

Describing himself as ”genuinely upset” by Carcieri’s actions, Rep. Segal said: “‘I think the man is heartless and this has become a bad joke that has carried on for far too long.” The joke? “His insistent, persistent need to assert himself by undermining the lives of gay people who love each other and want to be in committed relationships.”

Segal said Carcieri took his adamant opposition to same-sex marriage too far, since this “doesn’t change the definition of the word ‘marriage,’ as evidenced by the fact the “overwhelming majority of people in the General Assembly who oppose gay marriage saw fit to support the legislation. ”

I guess the governor is a subscriber to Santorum’s ‘man-on-dog’ slippery slope reducto ad absurdum argument.  If we allow them to plan funerals then they will want weddings and then they will want to be married and then they will want to marry their dogs and then they will tear down the entire foundation of western civilization (which is, of course, so weak that allowing civil rights to all humans will destroy it).  By stopping teh gay planning funerals for their partners, he is preventing the destruction of the western world.

Ladies and gentlemen of Rhode Island (and every other state, for that matter), no matter how progressive or moderate or non-batshit-crazy a GOP candidate appears, he or she will, nine out of ten times, revert to form, will begin spouting anti-gay, teabagger, Beckist, Limbaughite neoconservative radical right wing bullshit.  Oh, sure, during the election, they may talk a good game, but to remain in the GOP, a candidate, an office-holder, must hold fast to, at a minimum, 80%, of the Republican Party’s purity test.  If they don’t, they lose the money.

So the question remains:  why do blue states elect GOP governors?  And why are the citizens in the blue states surprised when they embrace the neoconservative fantasies?

We are at least hoping second time is a charm. So, last week we went in for our second insemination. This time we came into luck when Brooke was ovulating. She had already had the day off of work so there was no chance anyone at her job was gong to find out. However, at my job it was a little more difficult. My mom is my boss so the last time I just had to tell my mom and she lied about why i wasn’t at work. This time she was out-of-town and I had to seriously rearrange things and inform some people as to why. Thankfully no one has been pushy since. This time was different then our first try. First of all our nurse was much easier to be comfortable with and we weren’t as nervous. We knew what we were expecting and our appointment was first thing in the morning. Unlike the last time when we were anxious half the day. It was so funny watching them put the speculum in and having to find her cervix. This time she was more informative about what she was doing the whole time. I so badly wanted to look, but i stayed put holding Brooke’s hand. It has been exactly a week and we haven’t talked about it as much as the last time. We are hoping the less pressure we put on it the more likely it will be to work out.
I found it kind of funny when one of our younger male friends, who is about 19, asked about how the process was going. I told him the first time it didn’t work so we are just going to keep at it. In his mind he said that he thought all it took was one try no matter what. I admit this kind of thing was not something I thought about when I was 19 and it’s definitely different being a guy. Over and over again I am amazed about just how little people know about the whole process we as a lesbian couple have to go through to have a child. This time around we are both less stressed about it all. We will hopefully have more patience. And more than anything I hope this second try will be a charm for us.

There has been a great legal victory for custody disputes involving same-sex parents.

The family in happier times (from www.queerty.com)

Lisa Miller and Janet Jenkins were partners and the parents of Isabella Miller, who is now seven years old.  Miller was the biological parent.  Jenkins was recognized by a court as the second parent.  The two split in 2003 and, Miller “renounced homosexuality.”  Miller had custody of Isabella and, with a few exceptions, refused to allow Jenkins to visit her.  The two have been embroiled in legal disputes (in both Virginia and Vermont) about visitation rights.

A Vermont judge, William Cohen, had found Miller in contempt of court earlier this year for not allowing Jenkins to visit Isabella.  On Friday, Judge Cohen ruled that Jenkins would now have custody.  Cohen said that switching custody was the only way to ensure equal access to both parents.  As is usual in family law, Cohen said that he was acting in the best interest of the child:

“In the long term, the change in custody will be in (Isabella’s) best interests as she will have the opportunity for maximum continuing physical and emotional contact with both parents,” he said, adding that both parents were equal in terms of stability, financial resources, emotional availability and other considerations required for child rearing.

Where they weren’t equal, he said, was in their willingness to work together. While Miller has repeatedly and consistently blocked Jenkins’ access to Isabella, the judge said Jenkins has agreed to allow Miller access and would allow Isabella to continue to attend church events with her other parent.

Of course, Miller will appeal.  And, of course, only time will tell if switching custody will truly be in the best interests of this particular child.  But the important thing is that a court has recognized the rights of a non-biological same-sex parent.  It means that a court has treated the legal parents of civil unions no differently than parents in heterosexual custody cases.  Hopefully, this decision will have influence over future custody disputes in other jurisdictions.

“As I heard her slog across the floor toward my desk – where she unveiled her makeup caddy in all it’s glory – a sigh of resignation escaped my lips. Yeah, I loved her. I couldn’t help it. She was my brother.”

Regan’s brother can’t stand who he is during the day – Liam the boy. However, at night, with the help of Regan’s makeup and mirror, he is able to transform into the person he truly feels he is – Luna the girl. Tired of hiding who he is, Liam has decided to start to transition, with or without his family’s support. Faced with difficult decisions, both Regan and Liam/Luna will have to choose between their own personal interests and their love for each other. This is a compelling story of self identity, acceptance and unconditional love.

Luna is a breathtaking story about what it’s like for someone whose loved one is transgendered.  The writing is beautiful and contains the rich sarcasm and whit that one comes to expect from Julie Anne Peters. I thought the characters were well constructed, especially that of Regan, and I appreciated that there was a bit of romance for her. Julie Anne Peters did a great job of bringing these characters to reality, making them identifiable, even if the reader is not in a similar situation. Anyone who has a loved one struggling through something can identify with this novel.  I don’t think this should be a controversial book, Peters handles what can be a sensitive topic with delicacy and honesty. I’m really glad I read this as it opened my eyes to the struggle of an entire community I was not all that familiar with. This book should DEFINITELY be included in a library collection, as it is both a mirror and a window.

Other books by Julie Anne Peters: Define “Normal“, Between Mom and Jo and Far from Xanadu

Other books about the GBLT community: Geography Club by Brent Hartinger, Freak Show by James St. James, Parrotfish by Ellen Wittlinger

Gender Identity Clinic in Toronto website

Rating:  5Q 3 or 4P S

Other Covers:

I wake up in the morning, the sun fighting against the blinds for access onto my living room carpet, my face firmly tucked between my comforter and pillows.  Lazily and haphazardly, I reach over, smack my hand around my desk, grab my phone which is currently blasting “Kids” by MGMT, and jab my finger at the touch screen until I ultimately hit either the “snooze” or “dismiss” button.  My head still shaded from actual reality, I begin to wonder if it mattered which one of those I hit.  If I hit snooze, I’ll have to repeat the whole thing over again in five minutes.  If I hit dismiss, the alarm won’t come back, and I will surface in roughly an hour and a half.  The hum in the back of my brain reminds me that it doesn’t matter what time I get up today.  Wait, why doesn’t that matter?  Right, I don’t have to go into work or class until 2 PM.  Wait, I’m forgetting something else?  Do I have a meeting?  No.  Should I be at church?  Well, they’d like me to be, but I’m certainly not required to be there.  Breakfast with a friend?  Ha, my friends don’t get up.  Lunch?  Ha, my friends don’t have money.  What have I forgotten?  Why is today special?  I roll over, shoving the comforter off me and hoist myself up into a sitting position.  I brush my bangs out of my eyes, blink several times to accustom myself to the universe, and smile slightly.  Oh yeah, I think, it’s my birthday.

For some, birthdays are giant balls of sunshine and celebrations of joy and happiness.  For others, they’re bitter reminders that X number of years ago, two sorely mistaken people got together and nine months later, a person appeared.  I’d proud to say that I lie somewhere in the middle of that vast wasteland.  I like my birthday.  It means I get things that I don’t usually get like presents and money and whipped cream icing on cake.  I also dislike my birthday because it means that I’m one year older, no richer, no smarter, no prettier, and usually just as single (minus one or two, where I was lucky enough to be interested in someone who was interested in me back).  My absolute favorite thing about my birthday, however, is my general lack of guilt.  Normally, I try to be polite and considerate of everyone I interact with.  I listen to their opinions, even if they’re basically batshit crazy.  I try not to talk too much about myself, so as not to bore the other person.  I try to be engaging, to be enlightened, to be sweet.  This often leaves me feeling overlooked, as for every ten questions I ask someone about them and their day and their life, I usually get asked one in return (this does not count for my close friends, however, who are my close friends for a reason).  On my birthday, I can TALK about my birthday.  I can ask for what I want and get it.  I don’t have to pretend that I don’t want something because I don’t have enough money for it; it’s the one day I can ask my parents for money and not feel guilty about it.  I get a whole 24 hours to do or say whatever I want (within reason, of course) and not feel bad about focusing on me.  So, that’s exactly what I’m going to do.

Why yes, I do see your hand raised over there.  Oh, what’s that?  This is a blog, and therefore I always get to talk about what I want, and it’s a bit of a personal essay blog, so it’s always about me?  Well, yeah, kind of.  Usually when I write, I have an audience in mind (namely, you).  I hope that, when you read it, you see something of your life or someone you know’s life, that you actually get something out of it other than a view into my personality.  I may be writing about me, but I’m writing FOR you, if that makes any sense.  This one, however, is totally for me.  If you like it, excellent.  If not, that’s okay, too.  It takes more than that to offend me.  So, without further ado, here we go.

I’m obsessed with storytelling.  Completely infatuated.  Not the sort of storytelling where you have kids sit around in a circle and listen to you explain why mosquitoes buzz in people’s ears (but seriously, how great of a book was that?), but rather personal storytelling.  I’m a firm believer that no one can tell your story better than you can, because you’re the only person who knows what the really important parts are.  You’re the only one who really gets it.  I mean, how could others?  They didn’t live it the way you did, experience the way you did.  They weren’t in your head thinking and feeling and denying all the things you were.  They aren’t you, so how can they make an accurate judgment of your life?  They may know the general plot, but they are bound to make editing mistakes.  You have to be the one to tell it, even if you can’t tell it well.  It will never sound as good coming out of someone else’s mouth.  It will never quite be yours.

Most people who know me, even those who know me well, can’t tell my story.  Take my mother for instance.  According to her, coming out to her involved me asking/telling her to sit down, announcing I was bi, saying there was nothing she could do about it, and leaving.  If anyone checks out my first entry on coming out, they’d realize that this couldn’t be farther from the truth.  I have some pretty traumatizing memories involving my mom, but that one’s pretty high up there.  That one incident freaked me out so much that I struggle with talking to my mother about my bisexuality even today, to the point that the most effective way I can communicate is through rants and desperate pleas.  When I tried to explain this to her, I told her it was difficult and made me nervous and that I felt that she never really heard me when I talk.  Her response was to dismiss that.  Also, that big traumatizing event?  It happened the day after my 21st birthday, the one where I spent the night trying to get drunk and showing off a picture of my shiny new girlfriend to my friends.  She doesn’t know anything about that.

There was another time, when I was turning ten.  I was super excited because, after tons and tons of begging, my parents finally let me have a sleepover.  I invited my various friends and even helped clean up the house.  I wanted everything to be perfect and awesome.  Basically, I wanted to be cool.  My cool friends came over and we eat cool food and watched cool movies and had cool cake while everybody sang to me.  It was great!  We all slept up in my attic, where we began a cool game of Truth or Dare.  I hadn’t really played the game before, but seeing as I had all the courage of Chuckie from the Rugrats, I was pretty nervous about the whole ordeal.  My neighbor, who was more adventurous, to say the least, came up with some pretty interesting (for a twelve year old) things to do, including having my one friend pretend to make out with a pillow.  Of course, my mother walked in as this was happening.  Game over.  I was completely mortified and didn’t ask to have a sleepover for several years, until high school, when I had one for New Year’s which became a tradition that lasted until my senior year of college.  Interestingly enough, of the eight or nine girls (I don’t quite remember who all came, but I have an idea), at least three ended up being queer.  Suck that, one-in-ten!

Then there was the time that we all went out to the movies for my seventeenth birthday.  My best friend at the time asked me what I wanted to do, and I was so excited that she asked that I didn’t know what to do.  We ended up going to see Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets, which I had already seen but wanted to see again as I love Harry Potter than much.  My grand accomplishment was to sit through the scenes with the giant spiders (which I am horribly afraid of) without closing my eyes.  That was the birthday I almost broke my friend Sarah’s hand.  We all headed back to my house, where everybody (mostly my male friends)  sat around playing video games and watching tv.  I kept walking back and forth between my family room and my dining room.  I really wanted people to sing Happy Birthday to me.  I went back and, to give a hint, asked if anybody wanted cake.  Everybody shouted back “no!” and continued with what they were doing.  I didn’t know what to do.  I sulked back to the dining room, feeling rejected.  Why couldn’t at least one of them have said yes?  My parents, slightly befuddled that anyone came back to the house, had gone out to give us privacy (or to escape the teenage food suck).  Alone, I put a candle on the cake, sang to myself, and cried.  I didn’t cut the cake; even at that moment I still felt like that would’ve been pathetic.  After giving myself a moment to compose myself, I went back to the family room, pulled aside one of the boys, and sheepishly asked him if he’d come with me to sing Happy Birthday.  I knew I could do better than I had done.  Gladly, he said yes, pulled the rest of the guys aside, and we all sat around the table and they sang to me.  That was the day I learned that, if I want something, sometimes I just have to be direct and ask for it.  It’s not rude or selfish, and it will save a lot of hurt feelings and tears.

To the average person, these stories would seem random.  To my friends and family, they might be cute, but probably not noteworthy.  For me, however, these are all part of what makes up my narrative.  Being a nervous kid at her own birthday sleepover has turned me into…a nervous adult who still thinks sleepovers (of the romantic kind and not) are the most exciting thing in the world.  Crying alone on my own birthday really sucked, but I will never in hell let myself cry over the fact that I didn’t ask for what I want.  I may not always ask for what I want, but damn it, people always sing to me on my birthday!  Having to face my mother by coming out has given me the strength to continue to fight with her over the issue of me being queer.  I have nothing to hide, nothing to be ashamed of, so why back down now?  I will not let her sit idly by as people insult me under her roof, and I will not be told I’m disrespectful when I know it’s just her changing the subject.  These three seemingly unrelated stories have actually helped make up who I am today, and today, I am 24 years old.

When I was a child, I had all sorts of ideas as to what I would be like when I turned 25, what would have happened, what my story would be.  I have one more year to try and accomplish any of that.  On some days, that makes me feel really old and kind of like a failure.  Today, however, I feel encouraged.  I’ve made it this far, I know who I am, and that’s worth celebrating.  As The Beatles once said, I have to admit, it’s getting better.  Cake will do that to you.