So I was trying to catch up with my web reading (tech and design stuff, some news) and I came across an excellent article. I have been thinking about doing a group blog for quite awhile, but I have not felt inspired. Now after reading this article, I think I know what I want to do. I want to make magazine style blog that will only focus on a few articles a week. The site won’t have a real theme to it or maybe it will. It is going to depend on how many people I can convince to help me out with. I think it could be a lot of fun. I can imagine tons of reviews, opinions, tips and whatever else people can write about. The best thing about it, it will be something different than most of what we are seeing now.

So if you want to be a part of something new, shoot me an email or something. I have always wanted to do something different, how about you?

so here i am at pearls spending the night, just got back from meeting/hanging out with her friend from work, urc, that is somewhat like roo. we were at borders after me and pearls ate at restaurant by there..but to describe my day chronologically…woke up early-ish pretty cold..then me and rents went to pick up pearls to go to far away mall in another county to try and return dress…daaaaang, we super lucked out..my mother walked briskly up to the cash register with pearls with the dress and receipt in hand , while father ushered me away to look at clothes on other side..yeaaah, the cashier was vietnamese! mingyap..she and mother talked in vietnamese and cashier didn’t look twice at the dress…in the end..after walk to customer service to put money back on her card…dress-dress was returned! chyeah..after the good event, we walked in crowded mall to hot topic where i found last french maid glove-gloves and we ate at tint food court,,seriously..that food court had like 5 places arranged in a half circle..smallest mall food court ever..afterward we stopped by target, dropped pearls off and i got on maclette for bit..hmm, didn’t like my paper grade thursday teacher emailed me..tsk, i turned that in months before anyone else in class too..will prob get higher grade in tuesday class..(must type more on that tonightttt), then went on errands with rents and found nice dress (though have to take off an inch on the chest…) seriously…i want to invent a line of jeans called small bottoms for people with no butts. the butt area on my jeans always, always sags…annoying..also want to invent dresses for people with small chests so it won’t sag annoyingly in that area too and need to be altered////bet it would be a hit..last stop on errands was target..again..where i got matching boys black socks like pearls has..mine are medium with an m at the bottom..chyeah..then drove to pearls to spend night, went to target …3rd time today, then had surprise yum-yum food at restaturant mashed potatoes with cheese on top..huge mound for $4..black bean soup. french fries..and then me pearls co worker friend. jiji, interesting, we walked around all of borders and looked at some of the manga (blog title refers to this disturbing one about gay mermaid boy)..yeah, that really was a refresher about how out there mangas can be..there was whole serious called dog lovers something about girl who is enslaved to pet store after her dog breeds with a purebred one and the purebred dog loses all chances of having a complete purebreed litter…oh my…and another about  sushi and pastry chef students that want to marry eachother—mixed vegetables..yeah, then moved to look at cookbooks and have some hot chocolate and maple spice cream soda, then sat around randomly talking till left about an hr ago..so that was day..yeah, pick up roo from train station tomorrow..hope his time there in foreign place was allright..maybe we can have dinner tomorrow..now wish me luck in typing one page more to essay

new song of the moment–give it to me shakira ft. lil wayne

As I’ve been posting about, Gator and Tech are having relationship issues with Kitten.

I had a date with Tech Wednesday night but would have stayed home if I had realized how big the emotional turmoil Gator was dealing with actually was. (Even though he was at work almost the whole time I was gone.) He rarely texts me or calls me while I’m on a date any more. He did both and more than one time of each. He was really in pain. And he said he was jealous…what he actually felt was envy. He wants to have with Kitten something that more closely resembles what I have with Tech.

He was also trying to communicate with Kitten during this time…and this caused Kitten to call Tech for a long talk. The sad truth is, there are times that Kitten has to be shocked into seeing where a situation is heading. She refuses to listen to normal conversations. She doesn’t really have conversations with any of us. She talks “at” us.

So, once I was home from my date and Gator was home from work (he got off at midnight), he and I spent several hours talking. About how he was feeling, what he would like to have with Kitten, all manner of things. It came up in conversation the depth of our feelings for them. Gator knows, and I’ve stated on more than one occasion in this blog, that I love Tech. As much as I love Gator I’ve always said…just that Gator and I have a deeper bond. I’ve never truly felt I explained that well. And I know that Gator has never really understood the whole concept totally.

But, my dear husband, the very one that most always has difficulties expressing himself well, sent some possible enlightenment my way. And I’ll state it as well as I can here. Although he and I have talked about it a couple of more times since he first brought this up, I can not be sure I have the “whole” of his thought processes behind this concrete in my head.

He explained again that he can’t understand how I could love Tech as much as I do him. I tried once more to get my thoughts about the bond we have being greater due to our years and experiences together across to him again. He explained that’s the very reason he can’t love Kitten as much as me. However, he has opened himself and his heart to her just as much as he has me. And therefore, opened himself up to the possibility of as much love and pain from her. Due to our experience in our relationship together, it is most likely that he can avoid some of the pitfalls we faced in his relationship with Kitten. And yes, because of our maturity and relationship experiences as a whole, it is possible for him to love her more after 5 years than he did me after 5 years.

I am so not explaining this well. I wish I could get him to post on this. Because as he was telling me all this, I was seeing it. How his concept was even more accurate than mine in regards to how much I love Tech. Because, it still boils down to the fact that I would be heartbroken to lose Tech but losing Gator would devastate me. Is that because I love Gator more or because he and I have survived more? I’ve always assumed it was because he and I have been through more together. But it does seem possible that because of all we’ve been through I would love him more. See?

But, I guess it doesn’t really matter how you look at it. I love them both so much. I don’t like to be in a position that I can’t meet the needs they both have for me. I try very hard not to get in such a position. I still consider it as having two husbands. Just I have a young relationship with one and a mature one with the other.

What is important for me in this? That I have finally gotten a grasp on how Gator views things. That I know he does not stay with Kitten just for my sake. That he seeks more with her. I hate that he hurts and I always will. But, I know now how open he is to her and that means some pain is inevitable.

I know this man is still my best friend. He is still the person I turn to first. I know I am more comfortable turning to Tech for things now as well. I know that Gator and I are closer than we have ever been. Sure, we’ve changed a lot. But, once again, we’ve made a journey together. I know that he and I trust each other to not let ourselves be mistreated. That just because I, or he, wouldn’t be willing to deal with something our gf/bf dishes out doesn’t mean it is wrong for us to believe those cons are outweighed by the pros for us. I know I trust he is always going to be there for me.

I’m so very happy to realize that, although we view it a bit differently, that we basically have the same outlook on how we feel about our loves. I’m happy that we can live with how we each do view things and be ok with them. I’m more than happy that Gator and I can talk so freely about these things.

Oh and, considering the texts and phone calls Tech and I received while on our date, we still managed to have a really nice time. We were just thankful to get some time together. And that’s exactly what Gator would like with Kitten. Time and an effort put forth on her behalf.

Okay. Its the day after Thanksgiving Black Friday, and Carlos Whitaker’s blog here mentions the Pre Christmas/Pre New Years challenge. Loswhit has inspired me several times this year, given me pause to think and or reflect in others. Today’s challenge is no different.

Its 30 days.

Its easy. Yet hard. Makes you think and reflect on where and what you need to improve upon. And I think I’m up for it. Here’s how it works.

Choose 3 bench marks you would like to measure those 3 areas with and blog/tweet/facebook/whatever about them twice a week.
Come to my Ragamuffin Soul 30 Day Holiday Health Challenge post and use the widget at the bottom of this post to simply place a link back to your virtual space so our readers can easily go see your progress as well.

So measure the areas, blog/tweet twice a week about the progress? Easy enough… I think.

Well, here goes- My 3 goals?

Physical – Well, I’m in week four of being into running. This week I ran a 2.5 mile goal. Felt pretty good. In 30 days I will run a comfortably paces 5K. (That’s 3.1 miles- I’m not too far off). The 2.5 came pretty easy but I found the psychological aspect came into play- Needed to keep myself motivated to push on past the 2 mile mark. Mental talk.. conditioning.. Knowing you can do it.

Spiritual – To continue in my spiritual growth. I think my prayer time is generally good, but as with most other things, you can always do more. To take more time and to not give God my “leftovers”, as Francis Chan calls the half-hearted, sleepy, rushed prayers we often give. One other thing I’ve been thinking of starting is following Elevation Church’s “B90X” program..Its an intense Bible reading, that will take you cover to cover in 90 days. The original idea came from biblein90days.org where it’s called “B90″. I like the “B90X” title…reminds you of the exercises of spiritual discipline. (Here’s the link to a neat .pdf schedule- http://bit.ly/109fAo )

So I’m up for it. I was going to wait until January to start, but like loswhit said in the video, why wait to get started??

Relational – Here’s a bit of a challenge for me. First I need to be more honest with myself. I need to take steps to make amends for some things. I need to develop and strengthen some relationships with people in church and personally that God has blessed with getting to know, and with that comes a stringer bond, with like minded believers, who also will be a better focus on priorities and in leadership.

Not too much all at once. After all, I only have 30 days to get started. Sound intriguing? Its easy to get on board with Carlos and myself and dozens of others from around the net.

And hey, it beats complaining about holiday weight gain and saying “wait til new years” over and over.

What are you waiting for between now and Jan 1? Nothing.

Let’s roll.

Haha! This picture is just too random & hilarious NOT to include here!!!

Recently, my friend, Ken, challenged his friends, family & avid blog-readers to set goals during Thanksgiving for the following year. You can go here to read it for yourself. He’s a wonderful writer & very insightful. I hope that you find inspiration from his journal as I do.

He says, “Over the years I shared this goals list with a lot of different people. Many thought it was cool, others thought it was inspiring and still others started their own…Maybe you can start your 100 goals list this year. Call it a bucket list, a 30 goals before 30 or whatever. Just get it started, give thanks to the LORD and set before Him your desires and conform yourself to His will.”

I’ve done this before, in fact, I have a running list of things I want to do before I die. Here’s what I have so far…

1. Go on a trip by myself Fresno counts, right?
2. Travel to Australia,
3. Travel to Africa
4. Travel to Asia
5. Write a book Co-authored a book…stay tuned for more info!
6. Befriend someone who doesn’t speak the same language as I do Trip to Mexico, 2007
7. Build my family tree / Research my family history
8. Learn how to surf
9. Get a tattoo
10. Run the “Mudrun” at Camp Pendleton
11. Get married & have a family
12. Hike Half-Dome in Yosemite
13. Backpack across Europe
14. Snowboard on the Alps
15. Plant a tree for someone
16. Donate money to CUI
17. Tour the UK
18. Record my album
19. Speak at the NYG/other conference
20. Audition for American Idol
21. Learn how to garden This was on my “Quest for Me” list!
22. Take Mom to NYC or Europe
23. Become comfortable with conflict & confrontation Ministry helped with this one!
24. Become a DCE
25. Keep in touch with college friends Kelly just got married!
26. Scuba dive
27. Drive a luxury car
28. See the Taj Mahal
29. Swim with dolphins
30. Hike the Grand Canyon Havasu Trail, 2003
31. Fall in love Sadly, yes.
32. Endure Heartbreak See #30
33. Go to Walden Pond and read Thoreau while drifting in a canoe.
34. Drive across America
35. Go whitewater rafting in the Grand Canyon
36. Graduate with Honors
37. Buy a house
38. Ride in a hot-air balloon
39. See the 7 Wonders of the World
40. Watch AFI’s “Best Movies of All-Time” List
41. Ride on the back of a motorcycle
42. See the Northern Lights
43. Walk Abbey Road
44. See the Holy Land
45. Become completely debt free
46. Fly First Class International
47. Go on a spontaneous road trip or vacation for an extended weekend
48. Hike a glacier
49. Stay up all night long & watch the sun rise with someone I love
50. Milk a cow
51. Sing Karaoke in front of strangers Haha! I just did this in Folsom!
52. Kiss someone in the rain
53. Heal my broken heart See #31…
54. Stay at least one night at the Waldorf Astoria in Manhattan, NY
55. Dance in the rain
56. Celebrate my 50^th Wedding Anniversary
57. Live to be 100 Years Old
58. Run a marathon (a half-marathon will do!)
59. Climb French Hill
60. Show up at the airport with a bag & my passport & take the first flight available
61. Write a love letter & send it
62. Take kayaking lessons!
63. Receive a love letter back
64. Be a member of the Polar Bear Club Lutherhaven, summer of 2007
65. See a game at Wrigley Field
66. Wine tasting in Napa Thank God I moved to Nor-Cal!
67. Throw my parents a 50^th Wedding Anniversary party
68. Attend a black-tie event
69. Make something on a potter’s wheel
70. Go a year without dating…I mean it!
71. Host a clam bake
72. Learn photography…again See previous blog entries!
73. Make-out with someone at a drive-in movie
74. Go to Mammoth, CA
75. Lay in bed all day long without feeling guilty I’ve gotten really good at this!
76. Climb a tree with my kids
77. Learn to make the best chocolate chip cookies ever Nestle’ Tollhouse…You Americans butcher the French language!
78. Get a celebrity’s autograph The LA cast of “Wicked”!
79. Go an entire day barefoot
80. Witness a miracle Jane Cusson’s miraculous cure from Cancer was nothing short of a miracle!
81. Go a week without looking at a clock
82. Learn how to think before I speak The “filter” is finally there
83. Play an entire game of Monopoly start-to-finish in one sitting
84. Star Wars Marathon Weekend
85. Eat something without knowing what it is & enjoy it Plenty of times in Hungary…definitely ate a chicken’s liver & didn’t know it until my boyfriend told me after we were done!
86. Do mission work somewhere other than US Hungary, 2008!
87. Live somewhere outside the US for at least 6 months
88. Live by myself for at least one year 2008-Present…just moved in with roommates!
89. Adopt a dog Bailey!

31 out of 89 isn’t too shabby!

I created this a week ago, let me know what you think!

NOW ON TO THE CONTINUING STORY

Millions Have Lost Their Compass

If you’re new to the story, you might want to go back and read up on it. Don’t want to? That’s O.K. too. Just jump right in. Right now I’m reflecting on what happens if you lose your “inner compass” and have no idea what to do with your life.

Quite a few folks are in this boat as we speak. How many? Two hundred million in North America maybe. Complete and utter balderdash you say? Yes indeed it is…..but true nonetheless. So how can you figure out which way to take your life if you’ve lost your inner direction? Easy. Ask others. Lots of folks will be happy to tell you what to do. Bosses for instance. Does it help? No it doesn’t. If you’ve lost touch with who you are and can’t hear your inner voice anymore, even the best boss or mentor in the world can’t help you find your way. I just happen to know someone who’d back me up on this if he was scrupulously honest about it. Me.

Who Can Help Me Find Mine?

When young I thought bosses were special people who could read me like a book and tell me which way to go. Wrong. All they could read was my cover…and it was an artfully designed disguise. I believed mentors could give me their formula for success and soon I’d be right behind them. They can….but as everyone eventually discovers, your formula for success is different from everyone who ever lived or will live. Follow someone else and you’ll soon be up to your neck in deep doo doo without a snorkel.

I figured there were experts out there somewhere who could analyze me down to my nuts and bolts and put me back together again….. pointed in the right direction.

Can Powerhouse People Help?

Sure enough. There are powerhouse people out there who can tear you apart and push you somewhere. Somewhere you’ll regret going some day. Even so, many people might say I wasn’t too far off looking to these fine furry folks for help though. Why? Because bosses, mentors and experts really can help us do all sorts of things. Matter of fact, of the billions of questions out there, they can help us answer all but one. Holy geniuses on the moon Batman! One out of billions is a pretty decent track record. Isn’t it? It certainly is. Pardon me? Which little question can’t they answer? What to do with your life.

I Listened to Experts and Mentors

Take me for instance. I watched bosses, mentors and experts closely and learned all kinds of tricks for “getting ahead”. In fact, I climbed to the top of the corporate ladder so quickly it was plain scary to me and anyone witnessing it. Bystanders, acquaintances and best friends alike thought something had to be wrong somewhere. How come? They still thought you had to be smart, talented, and capable of planning a career like a military campaign to get to the top. None of which described me in the least. But I digress. The point is….bosses, mentors and experts helped me do anything but….figure out who I was and which way I should be headed. And….I hate to say it, but it’s true….the very same thing applies to you. There is only one person in the known Universe who can answer the most important question you’ll ever be faced with. You. And the question? Who am I?

And You?

O.K., so now let’s summarize before we carry on with me getting lost very early and aimlessly wandering for decades. Ready? Here we go. If you don’t have a clue what to do with your life right now, and you’re hoping more knowledge and experts will help, I have news for you. Ain’t gonna happen. You may as well bend over and kiss your hind assembly goodbye….because you’ve lost yourself. Maybe forever. But I do have some good news. You can find yourself….and I can tell you how. Pardon me? Didn’t I just say nobody can help you find yourself? Yes I did. Does that make me nuts? Maybe it does. But it doesn’t mean I’m wrong. It means I can show you a door, give you a key and….hopefully….watch you go through it to find yourself yourself. Nobody knows what your Path in Life is, including me. But I do know how you can discover it. Don’t believe me? That’s fine. Go to your grave never knowing who you are if you want. Just don’t come back to haunt me after you’re gone. Enough said about that for the moment. Next blog we’ll watch me getting completely lost by about ten years of age.

I am going to have the best christmas I have had in a very long time As I’ve gotten older, christmas is no longer about the presents I get, but the people I spend it with.

On christmas, all I want is to be with my family. Truly, I’m a really family orientated girl, and christmas is such a happy time for me. My family are spread far and wide throughout the world (Scotland, China, Australia, England, Auckland, Canada) and Christmas is the one occasion where I might get to see some of those family members.

I am so happy and satisfied with my life at the moment, I really couldn’t ask for anything more. I’m so so SO grateful for everything I have, I am seriously so blessed and so lucky to have what I have.

- I’m healthy, I run, I look and feel great, (and might I just mention that I have lost SEVEN Kg’s since the beginning of the year?!) I think that once mum gets back from her holiday, her and I should go to Bayfair for a day and go shopping. BARELY any of my clothes fit me anymore, they’re all too big.

- I get the crazy, awesome endorphin kick from exercise.

- I have a healthy, nutritious and well-balanced diet. I can eat chocolate and ice cream whenever I want and not feel guilty about it.

- I have THE MOST AWESOME boyfriend a girl could ask for! I am so so happy with him and I have the best time whenever I’m with him. We have the strongest, happiest relationship and I’ve never met anyone that I am more compatible with. He has been one of the best things to ever happen to me.

- I have a loving family. I have great relationships with ALL my family members now and it feels so good. All my life, I’ve had conflicts with at least one important family member, but now as we’ve all grown and learnt from the past, we’ve moved forward and worked past that. Now we are stronger than ever

- I have a roof over my head, food on the table and clean water. These are the little things we often take for granted. So many teens my age don’t have these simple things.

- I have THE MOST BEAUTIFUL ANIMALS EVER! And they are ALWAYS willing to show me love

- I’m strong and confident enough as a person to be able to make better decisions and not get so worked up over little things. I’m able to let things simply roll off my back and not stress me out so much.

See! I have all the components to make for one HAPPY holiday I’ve been on cloud nine for ages as I’ve been thinking over everything I’m lucky enough to have. I’m so happy with my life and things really don’t get any better than this.

I hope you all have amazing things to be grateful for. Leave a comment with some things that you feel lucky to have

I’m off to Edgecumb Xmas in the Park with Joy today! I’ll take loads of photos and post them on here tomorrow. I also have a 10K run in the morning.

Have a FABULOUS day

xoxo

The next piece in the 25 Weeks to Building a Successful Organization series is “Re-inventing organizational values, beliefs, and goals.” I use the word re-inventing because you may already have some sort of formal vision and/or mission statement. The questions is: Are these current statements or tenants really serving their purpose? If not, then the aim now is for you to hopefully find inventive ways to engage your employees in deep dialogue, connecting individual values, and developing a joint sense of purpose.

Before beginning, I would like to share one of my favorite quotes surrounding purpose.

When the organization has a clear sense of its purpose, direction, and desired future state and when this image is widely shared, individuals are able to find their roles both in the organization and in the larger society of which they are a part. This empowers individuals and confers status upon them because they can see themselves as a part of a worthwhile enterprise. They gain a sense of importance, as they are transformed from robots blindly following instructions to human beings engaged in a creative purposeful venture. (Bennis & Nanus, 2005, pp. 53-84)

How does one truly create a clear sense of purpose and direction in our organization? When Bennis and Nanus stated, “. . . transformed from robots. . . to human beings engaged in a creative purposeful venture,” what thoughts came to mind? I immediately considered creating commitment rather than compliance. With that said, purpose is so much more than just simple statements—e.g., vision and mission. In fact, I believe that the process of bringing everyone together to explore purpose is much more valuable than the actual statements that may appear.

Although much of the past and present literature stress the importance of organizational purpose, few provide specific activities for finding that purpose. In my book, Strong Schools, Strong Leaders, I spend some time talking about the fostering of a combined purpose. The focal point of one particular chapter centers on forming a shared purpose by tapping into the individual values and beliefs of each and every employee. This is followed by another chapter that outlines a practical, hands-on workshop to do just that.

Both chapters refer to my framework titled, Co-Creating Purpose: A Step-by-Step Process. Generally speaking, the model contains three steps that support the emergence of collective purpose. The first step in the model encourages employees to explore their personal purposes. Finding each employee’s individual purpose is a stepping-stone toward a collective organizational purpose. The second recognizes common themes, goals, and values among the employees. Third, the leader has to encapsulate those relationships into a single overarching purpose. All of this rests on the idea: “to co-create means to form together.”

I believe that inspiring others to explore their own purposes and translating them into overarching ideals is one of the most important and daunting tasks as a leader.

Try this.

In the previous post, Rethinking your own leadership, I offered two great books.

• The Change Handbook by Holman by Devane and Cady (2007). Sixty-one different change methods are offered and written by the originators and leading practitioners in the field.
• The Practical Decision Maker by Harvey et. al. (2001). This resource includes fifty-four different structuring devices for problem solving with your people.

I urge you to use both resources (as well as others) to find a way to engage your employees in recognizing their own personal values, beliefs, and goals. Try to understand where they are “coming from,” where they are presently, and where they want to go. By allocating time to listen and to value each employee’s dreams and aspirations, you can tap into some powerful passions in both their personal and professional lives. Remember to not forget about you own personal aspirations and dreams.

A few helpful processes included in the above-mentioned books may include Playback Theater, Appreciative Inquiry, Visual Explorer, SOAR, Study Circles, and so on. I urge you to check them out.

A lack of individual purpose is a call for concern, and timely action can create new opportunities to recover lost meaning. As soon as you begin to express interest in the ways your employees view their own purpose, a perceptible shift emerges. Suddenly, you will see your employees feeling more valued and respected.

Try this.

Now that you and your employees are more familiar with your own personal ideals then it’s time to unite them by finding the organizational core values. As you know, this requires strategic initiatives to take dialogue to a higher plane for the individual and joint goals of stakeholders rather than shelving output in the hope of revisiting it sometime later.

Here is a section of the Co-Creating Purpose: A Step-by-Step Process model that might help you in the above activities.

Each circle represents your employee’s life purposes; however, each individual purpose is separate from the other. On the surface, there may be no common features. Remember, nothing is wrong with diversity. Activities connecting individual vision-oriented purposes should lead to a set of core values, which the organization adopts. Finally, the shared purpose links each individual purpose through those core values of the organization.

Just an idea

Right now I am working with my employees on re-inventing our own organizational purpose. Here is a little background. A couple of years ago I brought together nearly 1,500 stakeholders and employed a version of the Appreciative Inquiry method. In the end we were able to create multiple values statements and each employee committed to a fresh, new vision. Thus far, these “statements” and vision have both served as guideposts in our planning, as well as day-to-day operations. With the passing of time, along with the hiring of new employees, I felt it was necessary to revisit our purpose.

To do this I am adapting the Visual Explorer approach and attempting to use symbolism (e.g., pictures and thoughts) to represent emergent themes between each employee’s individual purpose. Like the old saying goes, a picture is worth a thousand words. Think about the possibilities: Finding meaning through vivid, emotion-provoking pictures. Not only can these pictures represent the values, beliefs, and goals of the organization; but each employee can also translate their own aspirations and dreams with each picture. If you would like to hear more on the progress of this challenge, please contact me.

Final Thoughts

Even though this post corresponds to “Weeks 5-6″ in the 25 Weeks to Building a Successful Organization series, you and I both know that discovering purpose takes so much more time. Don’t we all wish this feat only took two weeks. Maybe over the next couple of weeks you can begin the planning stages for this feat; and, hopefully, by “Weeks 11-14: Developing clear targets aligned with organizational and individual values, beliefs,” you and your employees will have had an opportunity to begin the dialogue.

Don’t rush it though. As I mentioned earlier (and I cannot stress this enough), the process of bringing employees together to explore purpose is much more valuable than the eloquence of a vision and mission statement on a piece of paper.

Activities in a nutshell

1. Find and facilitate processes that lead to in-depth dialogue so that your employees can begin to recognize their own ideals.
2. Find and facilitate processes that compel your employees to recognize themes that emerge from everyone’s personal ideals—resulting in a shared purpose.

Questions for you.

Please take the time to add any additional thoughts, ideas, or processes in the comment box. How have you created a strong sense of purpose in your organization? Is it rooted in personal experiences, stories, and dreams?

Upcoming

The next stage in the 25 Weeks to Building a Successful Organization will be “Cultivating effective teams.” The ideas outlined in this upcoming post stem from my research, Professional learning communities and the effectiveness of the teams within those communities. Without a thorough understanding of effective team characteristics and development processes, many teams will continue to operate in a less productive, conventional manner. You can become the vehicle in building staff capacity to lead and operate within highly effective teams.

Cheers!

Perry Wiseman, author, Strong Schools, Strong Leaders: What matter most in times of change

Friday November 27, 2009 By Kevin Morrow

Actually it already has been done. I have this concept of time which leads me to believe that there really is no time. I feel that anything I want to do is already done and I just have to catch up with it. When I think about doing things I remember this – “Be, Do, Have.” This implies to me that there is no time.

Other people have told me what they think I should be doing. I’ve even been told what I was doing was not giving me knowledge or putting money in my pocket. I understood where this came from because I observe levels of mind in interactions. Had I been only about money, this comment would have motivated me to become a better salesman. That’s not what I am however, I am not a salesman. Money is not my motivation, in fact motivation does not have the same meaning to me anymore.

Inspiration is what I relate to the most. I feel that it comes from the spirit. Any belief I have tends to limit me to a perception. The trouble of limiting myself to a perception is that when you I’m more aware and something that required more awareness comes along, I’m not be able to accept it.

So if I’m going to believe something, I might as well chose to believe in something that will not limit my awareness. That’s what I mean when I say I have an open mind.

Here is how I experience reality.

This is just within my mind, and it doesn’t mean that it’s true to anyone else. This is how I chose not to limit my mind. I see reality as if it’s one big dream. Life is like a video game being played within the minds of people. I use these terms to create a visualization within the minds of those who read this. I think there are fundamental basic rules and then the player believes in what they choose to be reality.

In this life there is a physical aspect and a spiritual aspect. I cannot function well in this reality without being balanced within those realms. I see that everyone has a mind and that the minds are similar in how they perceive and construct reality.

I also realize that I’m the only one conscious in my reality. Meaning there are other players in the game, but I am the only one consciously perceiving from my eyes, and through my point of awareness. Where that point is I cannot tell you, but as you can see, you are reading this from your point of awareness.

So, it seems that reality can be molded like clay. Therefore the mind can be molded like clay. I feel that my mind should be molded to benefit the highest good of myself and of all people. This is my reality. I see this reality as already being done. I’m just catching up to it.

ONE MIND…

The above is a segue into my belief in one mind. Of course language and words can be misinterpreted, so let me explain what I mean. I don’t believe that anybody is separate from me. I feel as though the one point of awareness is shared by all as if there is one mind.

The reason I say this is because the more I look outside of myself and see separation, the more I see dysfunction. I see unity in great teams, families, projects, and even gangs have an element of unity. In all themes there is general acceptance to one frame of mind.

So it seems that at a deeper level, maybe the one mind is fragmented and therefore experiencing in many different forms. Just like I was not the homeless man on the freeway in Vegas, I could see myself as him and therefore I had to help him. If I saw him as insignificant or as something negative, I would not have helped him. But I saw no purposeful reason to not help him. I was looking for any way that I could help him.

Some people call what I’m talking about “The watcher of the thoughts.” That is the consciousness. The consciousness must be in another realm of existence than that of physicality. So words like awareness have been formed to describe that which we are discussing. The people that seem to be outside of me, eat, sleep, and use the restroom just like me. No matter how rich or how poor they are. This to me is a sign of the “real” reality.

I have dreams, and I awake from the dreams into a physical reality. Sometimes I don’t remember the dreams. How do I know that I don’t wake up from physical reality as if it’s a dream and I just don’t remember it? I don’t. There must be a reason for that.

The reality of pain

I feel as though reality is in the mind. What you believe to see is what you see. What you believe you can have is what you have. What I believe I can be I am at any point in time.This is possible because there really is no time, everything happens now. When in pain, I believe in the pain until I have reason to believe that it’s gone. I have literally believed pain to disappear and it did.

This leads me to feel as though anything I want to accomplish is already done. Anything in consciousness that has been done can be done. Anything that can be done through consciousness, can be done. Essentially everything has been done, or will be done, in the realm of conscious ability. Great projects are formed first in the mind, which means they can be done when aligned with physicality.

Physical reality is slower than mental reality because its vibration is much denser. Look into the world and you can see evaporated water moves faster than raindrops. Observe your own self and you will see thoughts move faster than your hand.

There are different levels of thought, it takes thought for you to move your hand in the first place. Once I believe something is “possible” that already was “possible” it becomes automatic. Just like moving my hand.
In order for my consciousness to win something like the lottery, the money would have to come to me not from a form of lack, and FOR the greater good of myself and others. Otherwise I don’t believe its possible for me.

Intentionally, I wouldn’t want it any other way. Who I am right now at this very moment is ready for something like that to happen. But what are the deeper levels of belief? What are the deeper levels of direction? Those are the true questions.

Conflict in relationships and between minds

I occasionally witness conflicts in relationships and between minds because they feel they are separate. As things that are separate they operate for survival of self. Whether it be ego identification or something else. To me this is my mind working itself out. I have to forgive things that I think matter and heal my mind. Therefore what I do to others is like I’m doing it to myself.

“Peoples judgments are more about you than they are about themselves.”

There is this show on TV that my sister watches called “Bad Girls Club.” The girls on the show tend to have a lot of pain. Pain comes from fear of separation. A good majority of the women on the show hurt other people because they are hurting on the inside and don’t know how to heal it.
The mind mirrors into reality what is being fed to it. So if your hurting you will see and create more hurt.

I see this within my own mind. I see that there are things that I may believe as true that may be hurting me, so I must forgive them and move on. What’s the purpose of holding on to something like that?

It’s not my fault syndrome

Anything you want to accomplish can be done. But when you blame others for it not happening, or say it’s not your fault, you create this reality in your mind. I have to be responsible for my reality. My thoughts and beliefs create it. Separation creates pain, so I have to heal my pain. If I blame it on other people, I’m really blaming it on myself.

Doing that creates a cycle within minds and it gets repeated over and over. The same way it does within your mind. That’s why I say “One Mind.”

Perceptions of reality

Perception always limits awareness. It narrows awareness down to a point of view. A perception is like sitting in the nose bleeds at a basketball game or sitting court side. Awareness is seeing the game from all possible angles with no distinctions. This is something the mind may not be able to comprehend, therefore it operates through perception.

Fear is a perception

Anything I want to do can be done, and is done. That is a perception, because it leaves the idea that it can’t be done, which is also a perception. Why wouldn’t something be accomplished? Take the time to ask yourself the question. The only reason something would not be able to be accomplished is because for some reason fear becomes reality.

Fear is a perception, if I were to look at something I wanted to do from all awareness at once, why would I be aware of the fact that it can’t be done? What’s the purpose of seeing that way? To me there isn’t a purpose to that.

If I’m experiencing in a physical world and I have the choice of operating from a source of love, faith, and belief, why would I chose fear?

So what is it that I Want to Do?

I’m doing what I want to do right now. Some people see it as weird because of what it appears to be. Some see it as cool because what it appears to be to them. To me it appears to be what I want to do. I see it as healing the minds of others and my own at the same time. I provide content that’s interesting and follow my intuition. I have created my own job. The things I need are already inside of me, and are provided to me right now. As fact my reality that appears outside of me reflects my beliefs. The things within in me that I have already, appear available to me in my outer reality. This includes, money,transportation,tools,people, and anything else needed to be of overall good to all.

My articles get better as I write them, and I do what I say I will do. As I provide more truth and more value, my income mirrors that. Right now I have no worries about money because I know that I’m never poor. I’m always rich no matter what my physical world may say at the moment.

College completed faster than “normal” happens in my awareness because I believe it to be possible. This is something I see as possible within myself. Money flows to me in avalanches of abundance because I provide value from my spirit. Not because I lack money, but because I believe myself to be valuable. I see others as apart of me and anyone in my awareness is there for me to help in some way, or vice versa.

Some may not understand because it’s not the main stream approach to reality, and that’s okay. To me it means I have limitless potential. Every person I meet is an opportunity to heal the one mind. Everything I think,do, and believe, is opportunity to heal. I feel so much love right now.

When the Apollo missions were taking place from 1963 to 1972, NASA were making sure they had all their ducks in a row in every conceivable fashion to ensure they achieved their goal of putting man on the moon. This was no mean feat, after all the moon is over 238,000 miles from the earth and they were up against a little competition from their communist counterparts.

Navigation was of course one of their key priorities. After all, just a few degrees pointing in the wrong direction at lift off isn’t such a big deal. But left uncorrected, 238,000 miles later that could mean missing the moon by a huge distance – thousand of miles if not more! Not surprisingly, NASA weren’t going to make such an elementary mistake.

When we think about ourselves and our current results, and these could be your income, your job, your home, relationship to name but a few, its important to remember that you can change the outcome of all or any by taking action – NOW.

Small changes now (lift off)  have a massive impact in the future in order to ensure you achieve your goals and dreams. In fact, just by deciding to start something, stop something or do something differently you WILL have adjusted your life’s directional compass by a few degrees.

You have already altered your path to your future.

The more you focus on what you want, the more you take small actions as often as you can to move towards those goals, the closer you get to them. Because even if you make a mistake and don’t get the result you expected, you have to be closer to your objective than you were to start with.

You now have more knowledge now than you did.

After all, what do you think scientists spend their time doing?

Getting it wrong and moving closer to getting it right until they do!

These seemingly small course corrections keep you on target if you know clearly where you want to go.  That’s why it’s so important to have a clear goal, a destination if you like.

Small actions and changes are incredibly powerful over time.

So what can you start, stop or change for the better now?

Happy Black Friday! If you’re one of those crazy Black Friday shoppers hope that you racked up on all the good deals and had a great time. And if you’re like me and avoid Black Friday like it’s the Black Plaque…hope you enjoyed a relaxing day doing something you enjoy.

So, I can honestly say that I was totally pumped after yesterday’s race. It was just AWESOME!! I’m still pretty pumped today…although I’m also a little sore but I did push it a little bit so that’s not totally surprising.

Unlike most races that start at 7:00 or 8:00 a.m. this race had a start time of 9:00 a.m. But I still woke up early and had plenty of time to get ready. About 7:45 I headed downtown to give myself plenty of time to pick up my chip, warm-up and get ready. And I had plenty of time…after getting my chip I went back and sat in the car for almost 30 minutes because it was too cold to walk around outside.

It was so chilly yesterday morning. But I knew that once the run started I’d be good and warm. At 8:45 I headed back towards the race start to warm-up and line-up. As I was warming up and stretching…guess who I saw also warming up. Yep…it was Grandma.

The same Grandma that beat me in October. And I said, “Not today Grandma. Today you’re going down.” Okay, I didn’t say that out loud. That would be rude. And frankly I am inspired and awed by her accomplishments so I would not ever want to be rude to her…but I said it to myself.

After a little more warm-up it was finally start time. But no one was at the starting line. No one was lined up (well, there was about 30 of the 400+ runners wandering around the start line.) I was like what gives. Let’s go…and finally at almost 9:15…we started.

I was at the back of the pack…I like to start in the general area where I’ll finish. That way I get passed by fewer people…lol! I started out at a reasonable pace, easy to maintain. I kept trying to remind myself that this was just a training run…not to blow it all out today.

Within the first 5 minutes we hit our first hill. And hills are just not my thing. I know I need to do more hill work but the Myrtle Beach Marathon course is flat…and right now I’m training to finish 26.2 miles…in hopefully a modest time. You know, like maybe 12 hours or so…LOL!! Actually under 4.5 hours would be GREAT but the first marathon is just about complete…eventually…

But anyway that means I’m not focusing on hill work at the moment. But I didn’t want to have to walk in the first 5 minutes either…so I just talked myself through it. “Easy pace, slow it down, don’t blow it out now…you can do it.” I probably sounded like a crazy person to those around me but it worked. Ran the first hill…and I felt good.

Back past the start, around the corner…up the next hill. Yep, I ran it too. Excellent! So far, I had passed numerous people including a chef with a butcher knife (plastic and it played music from psycho) and two guys with turkey hats…being chased by the chef. Get it? It was funny.

But I had seen no sign of Grandma. Of course I knew in over 400 people I may not see her at all. I just focused on running the race and doing my best…and tried not to think about the fact that I had to pee…BAD!

A little lesson that I learned from yesterday…if you REFUSE to use port-a-potties don’t drink a cup of coffee, a cup of water, a smoothie  (remember my rule about hydrating…LOL) AND then take your diuretic before a race. It’s not good…not good at all. I did have a back-up plan though should the bladder not hold out (running into a gas station on the course) but only if it was an emergency. And who knows maybe that was why I ran so fast yesterday…

But I digress…I felt good. I wasn’t struggling. And just before I hit the halfway mark…I spotted Grandma. I had her in my sights. But I had planned to take a 2-minute walk break at the half-way mark. Brief break for recovery and prepare for the last half…but I was gaining ground on Grandma.

But I chose to be rational. I know from experience that I should take the break…and I did. But I kept my eye on Grandma. And that was the longest 2 minutes of my life. I didn’t think it would ever end. But finally it did and I started running again…

Slowly gaining ground on Grandma. And then before I knew it I was even with her. And I was also even with another runner who I had passed earlier and then she passed me on my walk break.

As I went by she said something but I had my headphones on (do I ever run without my iPod – not by choice… ) so I didn’t hear her. I took my headphones off and said “I’m sorry. What?” She said, “I knew you would pass me. I’ve ran with you before.” I don’t know if she meant that day or in October. But it felt good that I was “recognized” and “remembered” even if only from 15 minutes earlier…lol. Truly when you run in a race you become a “big family” and encourage and support each other along the way. It’s just a good feeling…one of the reasons I enjoy running.

I told her “I’ll slow down again in a minute and you’ll pass me.”  As I passed on by I said “I’ll see you in a few as you go by.” She laughed. But I never saw her again…waited for her at the finish line but didn’t see her there either. Not sure what happened to her…maybe I just missed her along the way.

But now I was past Grandma too. I did refrain from looking over my shoulder to see if she was gaining on me but I wanted to… Just kept telling myself it was not a race…just a training run. Yeah, right.

I kept moving along. Maintaining my pace and feeling good. I did take one more brief walk break. We were approaching a series of hills and knew that if wanted to run the hills I’d better take a brief moment to recover. I walked for a minute, maybe a minute and a half then ran up the next hill. And the one after that…SWEET!!

We come around the corner and went downhill (finally), turn another corner and back uphill (I always forget how many hills there are in downtown and they all go up) but still running. Finally we make another turn (it was a winding little course) downhill to the flats, another turn and flat to the finish.

I just kept going. As I approached the finish I could see the time clock and realized I would finish in under an hour. It was an amazing feeling. And I crossed the finish line at 57:18. Oh yeah…I ROCK!!

And I waited…and at 59:49 Grandma came across. Under an hour too…YEAH for both of us. We are amazing women…and we can inspire other women to do amazing things. I came home totally pumped and ready to go run a marathon…and I will – in February.

It was a GREAT race. I ran a good pace, I ran all the hills, I only took 2 walk breaks…and I beat Grandma. Can’t ask for more than that. I will have to pay attention in Kiawah though and make sure that I set a reasonable pace at the beginning so that I can run to the end.

Not sure I can run 13.1 miles at the pace I set yesterday morning. Of course, I didn’t have to run 13.1 miles yesterday…but it’s also easy to start out hard when you feel fresh and lose it at the end so will have to focus on pace tomorrow (for my 12 mile run) but especially for Kiawah. And I’ll have to remind myself that Kiawah is just a training run too. I won’t have time for recovery so can’t blow it out on that “race” either. 

My plans for today include cleaning my pigsty (i.e., my house) it is filthy.  I just haven’t had time to do more than a wipe down the last few weeks so looking forward to getting it clean today.  Hoping to be finished in time to make the 4:45 spin class at the gym.  There were only two classes today 9:15 am or 4:45 pm.  Didn’t quite make it up in time for 9:15 am.  But if I don’t make it to the spin class today I’m sure that cleaning the house from top to bottom will suffice for cross-training…

Going to hit the bed early tonight.  Got an early morning tomorrow and want to make sure I’m well rested for my 12-mile run.  I’m really looking forward to it.  Does that make me crazy?  Well, maybe that doesn’t.  But on Wednesday I was checking out the Lake Tahoe Triple (3 states, 3 days, 3 marathons:
http://www.laketahoemarathon.com/indexframes.html) and I’m seriously thinking about giving it a shot after Boston and Goofy’s Challenge (a half marathon on Saturday, whole marathon on Sunday). 

I mean why not?  I think THAT probably qualifies as crazy…   But what a challenge…and an accomplishment it would be.  We’ll see…I haven’t even finished my first marathon and that may put an end to several goals… No…I know it won’t. I’m going to ROCK it!!  Until next time, hope you are enjoying yourself and pushing yourself to achieve great things…even if they sound crazy…

New beginnings and getting going

I’m shifting gear a little with projects. Some tasks are moving to the perfunctory box ~ get them done and get them done fast.  And I have new tasks that aren’t hard but they aren’t habits yet.  I could easily founder simply because I haven’t done them often enough to slide into them without thinking.

Getting over dithering

As I dithered, just a little, in the normal way we do when we settle to something big, I came across a post that I wrote about Inpowr, the Montreal based web2.0 platform where you rate areas of  your life and set goals.

A digital reminder

Inpowr has some good looking interfaces.  Moreover, it pings you every day at your chosen (Montreal) time and reminds you to review your goals.  That makes it great.  To develop some good habits, it helps to have someone to nudge you!

Choose between your positive and negative versions of events

A tip though: Inpowr will ask you to rate your achievement of each goal on a 1-5 scale.  Don’t just rate and move along.  Expand the task a little. Describe how the day went.  Rate 1 and answer the question.  Change your rating to 3 and answer your question.  And then change your rating to 5 and answer the question again.

Answering all three questions helps you to see your negative and positive thinking and choose between them.  Which is most useful to you?  The negative or the positive version?

Privacy

Oh, and do watch the privacy settings.  It is possible to make your goal setting open to the world.  Maybe you would prefer your exercise to be private.  Check your settings!

21 days on Inpower

Inpowr runs on 21 day cycles.  What can you accomplish by Christmas?

Great piece from TheGuardian here. One of their resident bloggers and his favourite goals of the past decade. A couple dodgy decisions but he backs his choices up.

Here is the best of his picks in our humble opinion.

As Markham’s Green Print Community Sustainability Plan is prepared there will be regular posts discussing the plan’s progress.  Twelve goals have already been developed for the plan.  Our next steps are to understand how we are doing now (baseline) and what we should be aiming for in the future (targets).  The following is the first instalment of a series of posts that will look at each goal in a bit more detail and give you the opportunity to share your thoughts.

Social Equity: A Markham where all people can thrive

The Green Print Community Sustainability Plan is addressing social, cultural, environmental, and economic sustainability.  As we make decisions about our future, we need to make sure that a high quality of life continues to be a priority.  Part of this involves making sure that Markham is a community where all residents can thrive.

The goal of Social Equity will address a number of challenges and barriers within our community related to age, race, gender, physical ability and income.  

A recent trend to consider is the increase in child poverty in Markham.  The Children’s Aid Society found that Markham had the steepest climb in the rate of child poverty in GTA from 8% in 1990 to 20% in 2005.  And this study doesn’t account for the current economic difficulties.  Growing up in poverty limits children’s abilities reach their full potential.

Other trends we found or heard during the Sustainability Fair include:

• the challenges for newcomers to reach the same income level as non-immigrants
• an aging population which will require new community and health services, housing and programs
• not enough affordable housing options within the town
• facilities and services not being equally distributed throughout the community
• lack of services and publications that are multi-lingual

Are there other trends in Markham that should be included?

What should Markham be aiming for in the long term?  An age-friendly community?  Affordable childcare?  A narrowing of the income gap between rich and poor?  Greater youth involvement?  Equal access to all that Markham offers?  More opportunities to participate in your local government?

Let us know through our online feedback form.

Think outside the box for exercise opportunities—soup can weights, for instance, or...

I hope you had a wonderful Thanksgiving! If you stayed within your calorie range for the day, stand up and take a bow. (Is anybody standing??) If, like me, you went into the day knowing you’d exceed your goal, that’s ok. Just start from here and resume your plan. (It’s kind of like the miracle of repentance: you can be forgiven at any point, put the “sin” behind you, and start fresh from where you are!)

So today, if you’re ready to exercise some of those calories away but the weather’s just not conducive, here are some ideas that will allow you to rev up indoors:

1. You don’t have to go out and buy weights to help you build muscle. Instead, use whatever you have around the house: soup, vegetable or fruit cans (yes, FULL!), water bottles—whatever’s a comfortable weight for your strength level. Use progressively heavier ones as your capacity expands.

2. Pop a DVD or video into the player and exercise along to an established routine. (Note: The public library loans video recordings for FREE!)

3. You might want to think about a gym membership for the winter months. Money a problem? Check unlikely facilities. Here in my home town, a nursing home opens its fitness center to the public for a pittance (about $15 a month). Contact me if you’re local and need more details.

4. Hit the mall. Many open at 6 am for folks who need a warm, dry place to walk.

5. If you have an indoor pool in your area, swim.

So there are five tips to keep you going. If you’d like to share your ideas, please feel free to comment. ’Til tomorrow, stay strong and resolute! I’m proud of your progress!

Well, I dunno about you, but I had quite the DELICIOUS thanksgiving day today…though now I’m already planning how to get back on track with following WW. I haven’t followed the past two weeks, but at least that’s nothing when compared to what my hiatuses have looked like in the past. I’ve decided to just give myself Friday “off” too and start on off on my new week Saturday (which will be interesting because I’ll be in NYC all day, more to come on that later–I’m tres excited).

So yes, I’m coming up with a meal plan for next week now. I plan on cooking most of the meals Sunday night and just reheating for the rest of the week–just makes things easier when I’m stressing with school, and if everything is already prepared, I’m much more likely to eat my home-cooked meals then rather than ordering fast food or something.

Sunday, Tuesday, Thursday:

-Tuscan pumpkin-white bean soup (2 pts/serving)

-Eggplant Parmigiana (3 pts)

-Caprese Rice Salad (4)

Monday, Wednesday, Saturday:

-Cream of Potato Soup (3 pts)

-Baked pasta w/ butternut squash and ricotta (5)

-Broccoli w/ Shallots and Lemon (1)

Those are mostly for dinner, but for lunch I plan on either making a huge salad Sunday and taking it to class w/ me daily, or just doing the less wallet-friendly option of buying salads on campus. Last week I tried a new salad which I found pretty delicious–just your run-of-the-mill Greek salad, but I added some skin-friendly tuna, and I was pleasantly surprised–who knew feta cheese and tuna went so well together! I also added some chickpeas–it was quite the healthy salad imho.

I also need to come up with some healthy breakfast and snack ideas, so here are my plans for this week:

Breakfast:

-Greek yogurt w/ honey

-Whole wheat waffles w/ a little butter and lite maple syrup

-fresh berries

Snacks:

-walnuts/almonds and string cheese

-apple & peanut butter

-banana & milk

-carrots/bell peppers and hummus

-mini pita snackwiches

-Mediterranean snacks: olives, cheese, tomatoes, cucumbers

-bean dip & tortilla chips

Those words resonated for me from a post I read at the In-Courage website earlier this week.  Today I’ve had to face a very great disappointment.  I’m still reeling from it.  That’s all I can say about it except that it is going to change the course of my life for the next year or more.  But the woman discussed in the post above had a far greater disappointment (she lost the use of her legs) and she really did use it to make herself better rather than bitter.  I’m not kidding myself. I’m going to have some bitter moments but I have to see this as part of God’s plan for me and try to use it to change my life for the better.  I’ve still got my husband and family and reasonably good health.  We still have our house.  In a week’s time we’re going on a two week holiday to the beach that was already paid for thank goodness.

To make myself better I’m going to:

• really work hard on improving my health and fitness
• get a real handle on the housework so everything runs really smoothly
• make a better contribution to the life of my family
• cast my net wider for different opportunities in life.

But for right now the tears will flow for a little while.  I’ve got some time to feel sorry for myself because the boys have gone to a friend’s house before Little Athletics.  But I’m not going to wallow – because I’m going to be better than that.

Yesvember is so much more challenging than I would have hoped. Only a few days left but here’s the push, the final kick. Guess there’s always Yescember too…