My message to you all today is to go out and just have a good time. The fourth of July is upon us, and we need to embrace the Spirit of Going HAM, learn to love and have a good time.

This past weekend was one of the best experiences of my life. I’ve never danced and laughed so hard in my entire life. And it’s days like those that makes me look forward to the fun future life has laid out for us.

Cheers!!!!

the worst thing about this entire situation, is that this isn’t the first time a guy has done this. just because a girl has a conversation with you, DOES NOT MEAN SHE WANTS TO BONE YOU. i can’t grasp the way a man thinks. i just don’t get it. am i crazy? is it me who feels that this is completely uncalled for and out of line? are girls doing this? are they just sending pictures of themselves half naked saying “hey check it out, i just went HAM at the gym,” cause if they are, ladies please put your shirts back on and take one for the team. if i see one more unattractive picture sent to my cell phone i might have to gouge my eyes out.

picture a:

point is, if you look like this, then please mass text me every shirtless picture you take. but if you don’t, then keep it to yourself. THANKKSSS.

According to witnesses, the vehicle swerved to avoid striking a car which had stopped to turn left. [redacted]‘s vehicle careened into a roadside ditch, bursting into flames. Witnesses report that the burning wreckage “smelled like Christmas, burnt ham and all.”

The vehicle was believed to have been traveling at approximately 375 miles per hour in a 45mph zone at the time of the accident. Julio C. Pantshelicopter, resident medium and spiritual guide of the Westland Police Department, reports that the deceased’s power level must have been “over 9000″ and that now he “rests in Valhalla” with the rest of the “honorable dead”.

Toxicology tests performed on [redacted]‘s corpse imply that his blood was, at the time of the collision, 90% THC and 10% bacon grease. Appropriately, a tweet was posted by [redacted] a mere 73 minutes before his death, stating that he was “about to go HAM or other pork-related foods”.

Memorial services for [redacted] are to take place at [redacted], this [redacted]. Formal attire or bikini only, $5 cover, ladies get in free after 10 p.m.

This one, and plenty of the rest of my album, uses samples from freesound.org. These samples are CC-licensed and, of course, free. So feel free to use them in your own work, friends!

GROOOOOOOOOOOVE.

His latest work “Another Pussy” is a video submission (he directed & starred in) for Funk Volumes, “Don’t F[$]ck Up Our Beats” Contest.  Voting begins on January 29th, so I’ll remind y’all then!  The song appears on his Mixtape, WTF, a Collection of Random Shit Vol. 1, available for download here.  Great hip-hop begins in the Underground and Uncle D hit a new low with this one!  All love for my little primo, KID’S GOT CHOPS!  His rhyme-style reminds me of some vintage Eminem, that high-energy rapp, unapologetic and crazy satirical subject matter!

Not only is he a talented MC, but he produces beats and directs / shoots film!  Look him up!  Peep his other projects with Broken Complex and as Romoface.

“Another Pussy” this kid is WILD!

The Random Guy on the New York City Subway who first covered “Ni**as in Paris” has hit next on his iPod and is now singing “Moves Like Jagger” by Maroon 5. 

If you haven’t seen the Niggas in Paris video, let me introduce it to you:

Random guy has now moved on to cover the Maroon 5 hit , which is “his song” as he says:

Random guy looks like he’s in this for the fame and I applaud him. You keep doing your thing Random Guy and hit us up at Thoughts of a Jeanius and tell us your name so I can stop calling you Random Guy.

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• Random Guy on NYC Subway Goes HAM Rapping “Ni**as in Paris”
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By now everyone is familiar with Jay-Z and Kanye’s “Niggas in Paris,” as it has been played virtually everywhere. The song currently tops Billboard’s Rap and R&B/Hip-Hop Charts, played across all radio, clubs, all night at any given ‘Watch the Throne’ concert, and on the New York City Subway System.

Shout out to @jamesthevi on Twitter for bringing this amazing video to my attention. Let me paint the set up for you: you are sitting on the Subway one random day and see this guy going HAM:

Guy Singing “Niggas in Paris” on NYC Subway

Look I love this song as much as the next guy and agree it hypes you up, but this might be too extreme. Maybe not, maybe I’m not listening to it right. I love the top comment on this video: “No one man should have all that POWDER.” Whether or not this was staged as some in the comments suggest, who cares it’s hilarious. This video should be viral in the next few days and this guy needs to get paid. Ride this video out till the wheels fall off man, too funny.

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More Jay & Ye’: 

• Jay Z & Kanye West Paid Seven Figures To Perform At A Sweet 16
• Jeanius Review: Jay Z & Kanye West’s Watch The Throne
• Rolling Stone & Time Magazines, List Top 10 Albums Of 2011
• Jay Z Says We Could Get Three Albums Between Him & Kanye West In 2012
• Jay Z & Kanye West Behind The Scenes Of Watch The Throne Tour In Chicago
• Billboard Releases Their Critics’ Picks 10 Best Albums of 2011 (Adele Tops Another List!)

Chinamen going HAM. In rec league jerseys. And cargo shorts.

The pictures and video are pretty epic, and the Hoyas have yet to decide if they’ll continue the rest of their Chinese trip. And while we may never know every detail of what happened, it’s hard for our American instincts not to kick in. Hard. Dear China: we’re bringing high levels of basketball to showcase in your country. (LeBron, of all people, is also in China on a tour.) What the hell is wrong with you, China? Keep your players in check, or we may never come back. Outside of Yao Ming, what have you given us, hoop-wise?

I’ll cut my comments short before I get myself in trouble. Wouldn’t want a chair to the face.

1.     “I’m sorry you feel that way.”

Intended Meaning-

“I’m sorry for your ignorance, flawed simian, but I am above this petty exchange.”

Actual Meaning-

“I’m sorry I decided to watch Grey’s Anatomy instead of learning to argue like a fucking adult today.”

You’re most likely to hear this sentence from-

Jaimie, that self-righteous bitch who interns at the hospital and only drinks Miller Genuine Drafts because she’s “training for her first triathlon” or some stupid shit.

Further vindication was provided after a quick Google Images search yielded this.

2.      “Sorry I’m not sorry!”

Intended meaning-

“Sorry you’re not me, bitch!”

Actual Meaning-

“Dad loved Bushmills and tranny’s more than coming to my recitals and this is how I cope.”

You’re most likely to hear this sentence from-

People who un-tag themselves from pictures and then make sure to comment on “how bad they look haha…” Or, you know, just have no self-worth.

3.     “Haters(z) gonna hate.”

Intended Meaning-

“Your jealousy won’t get between me and my dreams.”

Actual Meaning-

“I find self-confidence in Nicki Minaj lyrics, and my dream is to fluff backup dancers between sets at her concerts-I-mean-opening-acts.”

You’re most likely to hear this sentence from-

That sketchy guy you met three years ago who sends you Facebook invites to every shit-ass party he DJ’s.

4.     “It is what it is.”

Intended meaning-

None.

Actual meaning-

“I provide a legitimate argument for the eugenics movement and deserve to be fed into the Large Hadron Collider.”

You’re most likely to hear this sentence from-

Bruno Mars fans/ the DMV/ people who go camping.

5.     “Going H.A.M.” (Hard As a Motherfucker).

Intended Meaning-

“Getting ready to veraciously attack this activity or food.”

Actual/ Literal Meaning-

“I don’t understand how abbreviations work.”/ “Getting an erection as rigid as my father’s.”

You’re most likely to hear this sentence from-

Athletes you follow on Twitter/ guys who have a poster of 50 Cent shirtless in their rooms.

6.     “I mean…”/ “I feel like…”

Intended meaning-

“Your opinion is wrong and mine is right because…”

Actual Meaning-

“I’m passive aggressive because disagreeing with you straight up is requires that spine I traded for a long term relationship.”

You’re most likely to hear this sentence from-

Yourself, because it’s a dirty fucking habit you should probably break it you coward.

7.     “Sorry for partying.”

Intended Meaning-

“Sorry you don’t understand that rules don’t apply to me.”

Actual Meaning-

“Sorry I don’t have values, or the discount card that we’ll need at CVS tomorrow morning.”

You’re most likely to hear this sentence from-

The girl who loses her phone at a friend’s house and then walks home barefoot from the bar.

Alright, so I haven’t actually listened to this yet. I meant to, I swear I did. I loved “It’s Goin’ Down” as much as everyone else did. My God, that beat. I love you, Nitti. Digression.

This is Yung Joc’s Ready to Fly mixtape. Some of you may recognize the subtle differences between this album and Biggie’s Ready to Die. For those of you not familiar with it, here’s a picture. That ought to clear things up.

When I first found it that it came out, I made the conscious decision not to mention it. Honestly, it was just laziness. Odds are I’ll like it. I do intend to listen to it. Then I was informed that it’s actually a pretty good mixtape, so I figured it was time.

Here’s a random quote in a comment on the mixtape:
“Probably the best cd joc has ever put out!! fer real homie went HAM on this one, especially that goin ham joint!!” (yojoe21091). No that’s not some professional hip-hop reviewer. That’s just some enthusiastic guy online.

So here’s the song mentioned by that guy above, and a downlaod link below it:

Yung Joc – Going HAM (Feat. Gucci Mane). Yeah, featuring Gucci. Doesn’t seem to be off to a great start. But he’s been okay before (not much…but it has happened), so let’s find out.

Yung Joc – Ready to Fly

But I feel this is a time to go ham on the NFL, and its absurd lockout.

Apparently, the Player’s Association and the owners have some “irreconcilable” differences. The owners, in my opinion, are coming off as some of the greediest misers in the history of the world.

The players, on the other hand, come off as a unified force that is much like a old boxer. No matter how hard they try, they will not hold the power, and they get beat every time.

So yeah, I’m going ham on the owners.

OK, Jerry Jones, and whoever else. You guys are greedy. You’re already multi-millionaires, some billionaires, and you still can’t cut the players some slack. No, don’t give the players a good pension even though the bills from the doctor’s office skyrocket at the end of their careers due to the now freakish hard-hitting that takes place in the game.

No, don’t split the revenue. Like that extra money for you guys is going to make you any richer.

Oh yeah, let’s give an 18 game season to the players who sacrifice their bodies every Sunday, causing a lot to shorten their lifespans by up to 22 years. Sure, let’s make that 30 years that players’ lives will be shortened. So what if they don’t live past 50? They still played in the NFL.

Do you think the fans actually care? I mean, the season’s already long enough. But making it two more meaningful games longer, so the casual fan has to stay at home and watch when he could be doing something else one Sunday in August?

There is one issue I’d like to agree with you on, owners. There needs to be a rookie wage scale. Sam Bradford, while way better than Matt Stafford, doesn’t deserve $50 million guaranteed. Yet.

But come on owners. You guys are playing hardball a little too hard. You don’t understand what football means to these guys. Players want to play. They don’t want to sit at home and do other tasks on Sundays. They want to be at the field.

And yes, I’ll agree with you that the players are being uncooperative, too.

But what I don’t understand is that why you don’t understand that this is the sport the majority of America cares about. In American sports, the popularity is football at No. 1, basketball at No. 2, baseball at No. 3, and hockey at No. 4.

The most popular sport in America, the most important country in the world, may shut down for a season. Come on!

If it does, there will be serious repercussions though. Look what happened to the NHL. They’re still struggling some time after the lockout.

If the NFL cancels its season, it could end up like the NHL, and baseball may actually be “America’s pastime” once again.

But come on owners! Resolve your differences. You have vineyards growing, don’t give to the poor, and want to take compensation away from the most entertaining, warrior-like athletes around.

Do you not understand that your league will prosper even more once this lockout is through?

Apparently, you don’t.

Have some ham.

Now, I’m going to attempt to “go ham” on LeBron James right now, but I doubt it will work. First, this blog is lucky to get 10 reads a day so I doubt Bron-Bron will even hear about it. Second, there’s no way I could dominate James at basketball, he is (throws up in mouth) probably the best player in the NBA right now. Third, if James even calls me to joke about this column, I swear to God I will tear the phone off the hook and jump on the next plane to Montevideo, Uruguay, because I’m not even going to attempt to fight James physically. The man is large.

Okay, now let’s go ham on LeBron James.

Come on, James! My God you go to a team where you’ll have a “better shot at winning” and you guys can’t even beat the Knicks! Sure, they have Carmelo Anthony now, but you can’t beat the Knicks!

They’re the Knicks!

Oh yeah, and let me repeat how your “decision” went. It was horrible! OK, you donated some money to the Boys and Girls Club. That’s cool. But having it on national TV and possibly taking one of my MLS matches away, just so you could have an “interview” to tell your now decreasing number of fans that you’re going to Miami because you know you can’t win a championship by yourself!

Come on dude, the Decision takes away a FC Dallas-Real Salt Lake match. Not cool.

Plus, why didn’t you go to New York? It’s the best city on earth, with all the culture, clubs, and foreign languages. Now all they have is ‘Melo, who looks more ready to enter the Nathan’s Hot Dog Eating Contest with each passing minute. Yeah they have Amar’e Stoudemire, too, but, to me, he’s just the NBA’s version of Eric Gagne.

Better yet, why didn’t you stay in Cleveland? Oh right, nobody stays in Cleveland. That’s true. Nobody says I’m going to Cleveland on vacation.

But still, LeBron. What happened to the guy that dunked on Jason Sudeikis on SNL? I mean, now you’re all villainous and angry at everybody. What’s to be angry about? I mean making $14,500,000 per year sure sucks doesn’t it? Being famous, yeah that’s a bitch. Dunking on people, yeah that’s not fun at all. I mean it could be worse, you could live in a place where there’s war and corrupt government right on your lawn.

Come on, man! Cheer up! Man up. You’re better than this, LeBron. There’s no need to be mad at anybody. I miss the old LeBron, the one that wore No. 23 and almost won a championship. I hate the new LeBron, the one that’s pissed at everybody and likes being a villain.

I mean even your style of play makes me mad now. Whenever you dunk on somebody, I get so mad I just hope you sprain your ankle or something on the way down. I pray for the day when my boy Kevin Durant swats you. I hope the Heat go to the Finals this year… and get swept.

Why do I think this way, Mr. James? It’s because you let me down. I was one of your biggest fans before “The Decision”. Now, I hope I’m your worst enemy. You let me down. I was going to go to a Cavs game this year if you were playing. Now you’re in Miami, and I’m never going to see you play.

It’s OK though, my favorite player’s Kevin Durant now. And he’s better than you. Make a “decision” about that.

On this track, Young Joc linked up with his fellow ATLiens Gucci Mane for “Going Ham.” As of press, no word on if this track will be feature on Joc’s new album or mixtape. I think this is a great way for Joc and Gooch to set off 2011. I can see this track being an anthem in the clubs. I really like Gooch verse, Joc did good as well. Listen to the track below.

Dope or Nope, are you guys feeling this track?

Follow me @donbleek88

The Episode

- “Alligators, Crocodiles, whatever you want to call them.” Pauly not knowing the difference between crocs and gators.

- “Crocadillys.” Snookie knew, though. Kind of.

- CCTT has officially declared Pauly victorious over Vinny in the battle of hottest foreign quasi-girlfriend that is also foreign. Rocio is way hotter than Ramona and proved it with her hot outfit this episode. Neither of them got goodbye sex, though, which disappointed The Smush Room.

- “I’ve done all the right things.” Pauly on how well he’s treated Rocio even though he’s brought at least four girls back home since he’s known her. Pauly’s even above his own laws.

- “It’s not that kind of chick.” Pauly on It (Rocio) not being the kind of girl you goodbye bang. He then went on to make out with a couple of girls at the club.

Pauly D and It

- “You’re gonna have the threesome of a lifetime.” Random girl to Vinny. Isn’t every threesome the threesome of a lifetime? I’ve never had one and probably won’t, but if I were lucky enough to have multiple threesomes I don’t think I’d sit around and judge them against each other. “Hmm, that threesome was okay, but I liked that other threesome better.” Also, imagine threesome pillow talk. You’d have to keep turning over to whisper sweet nothings. “Tonight was amazing, baby.” Turn over. “I really think this might turn into something serious” Turn over. “Eh, no. I think we could be serious as well.” Now I’m not even sure if I want a threesome.

- “That’s a Situation-some.” The Situation. He ended up pulling off a robbery of sorts and took Vinny’s threesome girls into the bathroom for a make out session. I don’t think they had sex, possibly a HJ, but no sex. Also, that wasn’t really a robbery because Vinny wasn’t 3-way inclined. What should we call it? I can’t think of a term, but it’s comparable to stealing from Goodwill. You’re stealing something that somebody didn’t want in the first place.

- “I’m not fucking any of my roommates, therefore I shouldn’t have to clean up any of their shit.” JWoww.

- “Friends is a deep word.” JWoww to Snooki on why she shouldn’t even refer to Sammi as a friend in the past tense. JWoww is really dropping some knowledge out there. Maybe she’s pushing for a Tyra Banks style chat/advice show after JS ends. We know she turned down 400K from Playboy because she has a better offer. Maybe this is what she’s thinking.

- “That hamburger meat looks like Vinny’s chest hair.” The Situation

- “I would spin circles around Mike like I always do.” Ronnie on how he can always out smart The Situation. Another in a long line of Ronnie malapropisms.

- “Yous guys are all fucking nuts!” Pauly to Snooki and JWoww. This all started because of the “whose fake” talk. Obviously, they’re all fake, both physically and in terms of their personalities, but we’ll try to recap this.

The Situation said Vinny was fake (a follower), mostly because he tans now and he didn’t tan last season.

JWoww said The Situation was fake and then left the room.

The Situation then said that JWoww was fake while she was gone.

Pauly and Vinny, because Snooki thought they nodded in agreement with The Situation, said JWoww was fake, even though they didn’t.

Pauly, via JWoww telling The Situation, said that The Situation was fake, even though he really didn’t.

- “I didn’t say words that came out of anybody’s mouth.” Snooki. That non-sensical gibberish pretty sums up the entire “fake” argument. Also, Pauly got really fucking pissed during all this. It reminded us of Arsenio Hall Going Ham on Queer Nation. If you watch the entire video you’ll see Paul Hogan as Arsenio’s guest. It’s worth the wait.

- “My blood pressure’s off the roof.” Snooki, not Ronnie, I repeat not Ronnie, to JWoww when she thought everyone was mad at her.

- “Give the cat a meat ball.” The Situation to Snooki, which helped to defuse all the anger. I guess this was his way of apologizing for the creepiness and attempted sexual assaults from the last few episodes. Sir, I accept.

- The Situation threw an entire slab of bacon into a really small pan. This prompted CCTT to have a ten minute conversation about the pros/cons of this method. Would the bacon fully cook? Maybe it would be better because the bacon might slide off each other easier. Why are they still letting The Situation cook? Why do bad things happen to good people?

- “This is not my first rodeo.” The Situation. No it’s not. It’s your second and your third “rodeo” is coming up in January, but it will probably be your last.

That’s it for this season. I hope y’all enjoyed it as much as we did. Next week we’ll be posting our Season 2 awards so look out for that. Also, according to the video below, every member of Boys 2 Men won the Masters prior to Tiger Woods, which makes them Augusta’s first black champions.

The Baltimore Sun’s Ed Lee had a chance to catch up with Baltimore Ravens cornerback, Fabian Washington, today at training camp at McDaniel College in Westminster, Maryland.

Washington, who tore a ligament in his knee last November, began training camp this year on the physically unable to perform (PUP) list. He discussed his rehab process.

He also commented on two of his latest Twitter updates. He explained the terms “going HAM” and “Rick Flair mode,” which he used in several of his recent tweets.

It’s fascinating to me that these small updates tweeted by notable figures are so often used as legitimate sources of information for journalists.

So, on that note, follow me @bjweiss22 on Twitter or keep checking back into this blog for video updates throughout Ravens training camp!