Welcome to Tales from the Hao Life, a blog detailing two middle class Canadians’ (Geoff and Kathleen) journey as they quit their excellent jobs, sell their comfortable home and its contents, and say farewell to their wonderful families and friends to move across the globe in search of time and, ultimately, freedom: we are leaving our comfortable and secure life in Calgary in search of the time and energy to identify and pursue passions, take risks, and enjoy life in a region unfettered by winter.

So what the hao? Hǎo (好) is a wonderfully expressive Mandarin Chinese word/character that variously can mean good; right; excellent. The word is also used in certain situations to indicate agreement (yes or o.k.). So why have we chosen this word over all others to express that which we seek? First, the Chinese language has personal relevance: Geoff and I met in Taiwan in 2005, where Geoff was teaching English and I was studying Mandarin; we’ve achingly missed the island since returning to Canada in 2006; and our plan is to return to Taiwan in 2010 to live — Taiwan will be our base camp as we search for the hao life. Second, the word does a pretty darn good job of articulating the type of life we are looking to create: a life that is good; right; excellent…yessssss!

This blog will detail our journey as we leave Canada to create a life reflective of our values: time over money, palm trees over snow, and the freedom to take risks in how we fill our days and earn an income. My ultimate goal is to be able to work from anywhere in the world: travel writing and teaching and consulting online, hopefully with some automated income streams that allow us even more freedom. Geoff wants to live somewhere he can play Ultimate Frisbee year-round, travel, and not be rushed in day-to-day life. Oh, and one more thing: once we leave Calgary at the end of 2009, we never again want to live in place without palm trees.

This blog will detail our tales from the hao life, or at least our tales in search of such. We hope you look forward to a mixed bag of travel writing, photos, budgeting, the world of overseas banking and international taxes…this will be both a tale of our journey and, hopefully, the beginning of a blue print for anyone who may want to take a leap themselves!

What do I need for keeping chickens?

Can I keep them in a garden?

I am wondering how much looking after they might need. I love the idea of keeping chickens and having fresh eggs everyday!

Decline, deterioration, loss & reversal are part of life

What did President Bush do the day after he left the White House? What do US Presidents do the day after they leave the White House? What does an Olympic Champion do the day after winning a gold medal? What do we do the day after climbing Mount Everest?

Coping with the sudden gap of purpose & connection is a tough task

Well, we come down the mountain again and actually the descent is more dangerous than the assent. But at least when we are coming down a mountain, we are physically busy. In normal affairs, the sudden removal of busyness, status, purpose, connections and toys, is devastating. The loss of a job, the loss of ‘pole position’, just plain getting older is a loss at so many levels – not least, our sense of identify. How do we cope with it?

Deteriorating as slowly as possible often becomes a shadow mission

John Orteg, describing church leadership in the States, used a good phrase. Deteriorating as slowly as possible is often our shadow mission. We’ve lost our purpose and we are hanging onto old ways. Stagnation makes us bitter and it is awful to watch in others. We oscillate from pity to contempt.

Sadly, some people don’t even have to lose a job or come to the end of an exciting project, to slip into “deteriorating as slowly as possible.” They sleepwalk through life in deadly early retirement, going through the motions and not even terribly aware that they are slipping away.

To fall in love with life again

Dylan Thomas wrote a poem for his father who was growing blind “rage, rage against the dying of the light.”  Professor Kay Jamieson’s husband gave her this encouragement on his deathbed: “You will fall in love with life again.”

Hope has little to do with external success. It has everything to do with loving life

None of us can live without hope and a sense that growth in is possible. But sometimes we confuse hope with trappings of success.

Hope does not mean controlling outcomes. Hope does not mean having status, control and perquisites of our past life (though we may miss them dreadfully).

Hope is a growth in our spirit. It is a sense that what we are doing now is an important task that only we can do for our communities at this time and in this place. It is sense that life will blossom in new ways taking us by surprise and delighting us.

Psychologists help people fall back in love with life again

When we have suffered a hard jolt, psychologists play an important role in helping us find our life’s purpose again.  So do good religious ministers, good teachers and respected mentors.  Even the smallest child can help us find our way again.

Sadly, though, we have had successful lives, or just live in rich countries or work in successful countries, we can begin to drift.  Before long, we are sleep walking. We are not in love with life any more.  We have become zombies, without hope – without the sense that life will still surprise us.

Are you living a zombie life :  I’ve put John Orteg’s Symptoms of Deterioating as Slowly as Possible in Part Three.

1. Say “Thank you” out loud – At least 10 times a day say the words “thank you.” Deborah Norville wrote and entire book on the power called “Thank You Power.” When she incorporated these two words into her life she was amazed at the many doors of opportunity that opened up to her. Try it. You will be amazed

2. Fully listen – When you are having a conversation with a friend, co-worker or family member listen. Really listen. No multitasking, thinking about what you’re going to say next, or interrupting. Be present for them totally and fully in that moment. Listen as if it were the most important moment of their life.

3. Hand write a “Thank you” note – buy a blank card and write “Thank you for being in my life.” Send it to someone who you would miss if they were not there. When they receive a hand written, personally addressed envelope in the mail it will touch their heart for sure. Short, sweet and powerful!

4. Appreciate customer service – We all dislike it when we don’t receive good customer service. The next time you are at the grocery check-out, the bank, or the post office, get off your cell phone. Give the clerk your full attention. Show them gratitude as their customer.

5. Appreciate your body – In truth, if it weren’t for your body, you wouldn’t be here. Make a commitment to appreciate your body on a daily basis. Stand in front of the mirror and literally thank your body for giving you a life. If that’s too much for you, show your gratitude by feeding your body healthy nourishing food. At the very least breathe consciously. Take a few minutes each day to breathe, inhaling and exhaling deeply. Your body will love it.

6. Practice random acts of kindness – every day look for a way you can show your gratitude with a random act of kindness. Do something for your spouse, significant other, children or neighbor that is totally unexpected and they would appreciate. This is a great way to show how grateful they are in your life.

7. No complaints – Commit one day a week that you consciously give up complaining. A great way to show your gratitude is to give up complaining. It changes the energy of your day.

Have you heard about Curbside Cupcakes ? (wish I would’ve thought of this..)

I recently read the Washingtonian and came across this article with a bright pink mobile truck that immediately caught my eye. It turns out that this  uber cute pink truck dishes out cupcakes! If you know me, you know that I have a colossal sweet tooth, so this whole convenient cupcake concept is a-mazing and I need to hunt it down asap. They carry roughly ten flavors and sell for about $3 /a pop. They’ve started strolling down select area’s of downtown D.C. and Capitol Hill districts. Oh man, I need to make a mission downtown just to find them. I’ve already started following them on twitter. lol When I find them I will let you’all know!

Oh how I freaking wanna be Bey. If this isn’t dope, idk what is.

Alright, I’m not usually one for the type of music people consider ‘laid-back’ or ‘easy listening.’ I tend to lean more towards something that belongs in a club and not your nightly headed to bed music. However, I have a soft spot for OneRepublic. I love their music, it’s catchy while still being neutral enough to play loudly in my room without getting the stink-eye for the other inhabitants of my household. Their new album Wake Up is definitely worth not only checking out but buying, specifically Good Life.

રણકાર
દરેક પીડા માણસને વધુ સહનશીલ બનાવવાને જ આવે છે. પીડા વિના ક્યારેય કોઈ સહનશીલ અને સામર્થ્યવાન બનતું નથી. બીજને એવી જગ્યાએ રોપવામાં આવે જ્યાં એને છોડ કે વૄક્ષ બનવામાં તકલીફ પડે તો બીજ દરેક અંતરાયને તોડવાને સક્ષમ એવાં મૂળિયાં સર્જે છે. એના વિકાસને કોઈ વિઘ્ન અટકાવી શકતાં નથી. પીડા એ માર્ગમાં આવતા અંતરાય છે એમ જો વિચારીએ તો એ સાવ ખોટું નથી પણ પીડાને સહનશીલ બનાવાના માર્ગ તરીકે જુઓ તો કેટલું બધું બદલાઈ જાય! પાણીને ગરમીની પીડાથી વરાળ અને એમાંથી વાદળ બનવા મળે છે. માળો તૂટ્યાની પીડા પછી પંખીને હારવાને બદલે નવો માળો બાંધવાની શક્તિ મળે છે. પીડા આ સૄષ્ટિની દરેક હરકતને અર્થપૂર્ણ બનાવવા માટેનું જાણે ઓજાર છે. પાતાળની પીડા પર્વતો પણ સર્જે છે મહાસાગરને પણ જન્મ આપે છે. સંબંધની પીડામાંથી સમજણની દ્રષ્ટિ જન્મે છે અને એનાથી સંબંધ ગાઢ બને છે. માત્ર અને માત્ર સરળ ચાલતી કોઈ વાત કેવી રીતે રોચક અને મીઠી બની શકે? પીડાને તેમ છતાં ભાંડો છે કેમ? પીડામાંથી જે શીખવાનું છે એ કેમ શીખતા નથી? પીડાને શા માટે દુશ્મન ગણો છો અને એમ કરીને એને વધુ તકલીફદાયી શાને બનાવો છો? મન જો પીડાનો મર્મ જાણી લે તો બધું સમુંસુતરું થવા માંડે. બાળક જેમ ધરતી ખૂંદીને, રખડપટ્ટી અને ધીંગામસ્તી કરીને બળવાન બને છે તેમ મોટેરાઓ અનુભવની ચક્કીમાં પીસાઈને, તકલીફોનો સામનો કરીને બળવાન બને છે. આ સત્યને સ્વીકારી લેવા જેવું છે. કબૂલ કરી લેવા જેવું છે કે આજે જે સંજોગ અળવીતરા લાગે છે એ સર્જાયા છે આવતીકાલને વધુ સારી બનાવવા માટે. જેને આ વાત સમજાય છે એને બાકી કશું સમજવાની જરૂર નથી પડતી.
- કલ્પના જોશી

Mohnkuchen Rocks!

I’m a little concerned that in our zeal to cut off funding available to Al-Qaeda rebels by destroying poppy crops in Afganistan that we will in advertantly drive up the cost of poppy seed cake forcing me to ration my enjoyment of this German delicacy.

Raining all day, I did not notice.My Recliner is comfy.

If your carpet gets too dirty just put another one on top of it.
No one can tell.

Fuck I love Summer.

I turn 21 next week. Xmas in a month.
‘Tis the season to be jolly.

I need a set of tires for my bike. (Don’t worry it’s not a fkn fixie)

રણકાર

આજે બાળ દિવસ. આમ જુઓ તો દુનિયામાં દરેક માણસ બાળક જ છેને? જો કે દરેક માણસ પોતાની અંદરના બાળકને ઓળખવાનું અને સન્માનવાનું કામ કરતા નથી એ અલગ વાત છે. પુખ્ત બની ગયા પછી બાળપણનો આનંદ માણી ના શકાય એવું કોણે કહ્યું? બાળક અને મોટા માણસમાં ફરક કયો છે? બાળક એટલા માટે બાળક છે કેમ કે એની દરેક હરકત નિર્દોષ છે, ઉત્સ્ફુર્ત છે, સહજ છે અને ગણતરીઓથી પર છે. પુખ્ત માણસ ચાહે તો પણ બાળકની જેમ દરેક બાબતમાં નિર્દોષ કે ઉત્સ્ફુર્ત બની શકતો નથી. કંપનીની બૉર્ડ મીટિંગ ચાલતી હોય અને મૅનેજિંગ ડિરેક્ટરનું માથું બિનજરૂરી ચર્ચા સાંભળીને ફાટફાટ થાય તો પણ એ થોડો એમ કહી શકે કે, “ચાલો, તેલ પીવા જાવ તમે બધા અને હું જાઉં છું આ મીટિંગ પડતી મૂકીને, મૂવી જોવા માટે…” માન્યું કે જવાબદારી માણસને અણગમતી પ્રવૄત્તિઓને પણ ઢસડે રાખવાની ફરજ પાડે પણ દિવસમાં એવો અઢળક સમય સૌને મળે છે જ્યાં એ મોકળા મને બાળસહજ વર્તન માણીને હળવાશ માણી શકે અને જીવન આનંદમય બનાવી શકે. આ મૂવી જોવાની વાત કરી એનો દાખલો લઈએ. કેટલાય લોકો મૂવી જુએ છતાં મન મૂકીને હસી કે રડી શકતા નથી. ઊલ્ટાનું જેઓ ખડખડાટ હસતા હોય એમને જોયા કરીને આ લોકો વિચારે રાખે, “લે! આ તે કઈ રીત છે હસવાની? સભ્યતા જેવું કાંઈ છે જ નહીં આ લોકોમાં તો…” અને કોઈક કે કરૂણ દ્રશ્ય જોઈને રડી પડે તો આ લોકોને હસવું આવી જાય, “હે ભગવાન! આ ફિલ્મ છે, બધું નકલી છે, એમાં શું આમ રડવાનું?” ફિલ્મ છે, બધું નકલી છે એ ખબર હોવા છતાં ફિલ્મ જોવા જઈએ એની પાછળનું એક કારણ એ નથી હોતું કે આપણે એ સંવેદનાઓને ફિલ્મી દુનિયા અને નકલી પાત્રો જોઈને ઝંકૃત કરવા માગતા હોઈએ છીએ જે અન્યથા સુષુપ્ત અને મોળી પડી ગઈ હોય છે. બીજું કાંઈ બનો કે ના બનો પણ ખરેખર જ, આખું જીવન દિલથી બાળક રહેજો. શક્ય તેટલા વધુ ઉત્સ્ફુર્ત અને સહજ રહેજો. એનાથી વિશેષ સુખ ક્યાંય અને કોઈ રીતે મળી શકવાનું નથી.

- કલ્પના જોશી

રણકાર

એક જ સ્કૂલ કે કૉલેજમાંથી અસંખ્ય વિદ્યાર્થીઓ ભણીગણીને બહાર પડે છે. એમને ભણાવનાર શિક્ષકો પણ એકસરખા હોય. કારકીર્દિના મોરચે પણ એમાંથી ઘણાના ભાગે સરખી તક આવે છતાં, છેવટે તો દરેક જણ એક નોખો માણસ બને છે અને એકમેકથી અલગ પ્રૉફેશનલ પણ. શા માટે? દરિયામાં ગમે તેટલું પાણી ઠલવાય છતાં દરિયો તો ખારો જ રહે અને ગંગામાં ગમે તેટલો કચરો પડે છે પણ ગંગાનું પાવિત્ર્ય તો અકબંધ જ રહે છે. માણસને પણ બાહ્ય જ્ઞાન ગમે તેટલું મળે અને બહારનાં દૂષણ એને ગમે તેટલું સ્પર્શે, માણસ છેવટે એ બને જે એનું આંતરિક વિશ્વ છે. અંગત અનુભવ, અનુભવમાંથી અમલમાં મૂકવામાં આવતા ફેરફાર અને સતત વધુ સારા બનવાનો દ્રઢ નિર્ધાર જ વ્યક્તિત્વને ધાર્યા મુજબનું બનાવવા માટેની પૂર્વશરતો છે. શાંત ચિત્તે બેસીને પોતાના વિશે, પોતાના કર્મ અને નિર્ણયો વિશે કેટલીવાર મનોમંથન કર્યું છે તમે? કેટલીવાર એ સ્વીકાર્યું છે કે અમુક ભૂલો, પછી એ કાર્યલક્ષી હોય કે સ્વભાવલક્ષી, ક્યારેય પાછી કરવી નથી? કેટલીવાર એમ કહીને ચલાવી લીધું છે કે મારાથી આ સુધારો નહીં થાય અને આ બાબતમાં હું અશક્ત છું? ખરેખર વિચારજો તો ખરા. મિત્રો સાથે નકામી વાતો કરવાનો, ફિલ્મો જોવાનો અને હરવાફરવાનો સમય જેમ ફાળવી લેવાય છે તેમે, પોતાને સુધારવાનો સમય પણ કાઢવો જ રહ્યો. ડિગ્રી કે પૉસ્ટ, ઓળખાણ કે આવડત એ બધું ત્યારે જ મદદરૂપ થશે જ્યારે પોતે એ બધાને ઉપયોગી કરી બતાવવાની ક્ષમતા રાખીએ. કોઈ અહીં કોઈને સારા બનતા રોકી શકતું નથી કે નથી રોકી શકતું વિકસતા. દુનિયાની યુનિવર્સિટીમાં ઍડમિશન તો સૌને મળે છે, એમાંથી ઝળહળતી ડિગ્રીની સફળતા એને મળે છે જે રોજ ભણે છે, રોજ વિચારે છે અને રોજ જાતે પરીક્ષા આપીને જાતે જ પરીક્ષક બનીને પોતાની કાળજી લે છે.

- કલ્પના જોશી

No one gave me a googlewave invite.

GO OUT AND BUY THIS ALBUM WHEN IT DROPS ON 17 NOV

1. Made for you

EXCUSE ME. This beat immediately enticed me. The piano fused with the pulsating drums are joined by a hard-hitting snare and this is all within the first minute of music on their latest album. Peep 2.23 for a beautiful piano breakdown – Tedder sure knows how to make emotive music. Add some reverb and strings and BAM. Done.  2.54 = POW. Everything is stripped down to a gritty beat and a little interlude leading into the lead single “All The Right Moves”

2. All The Right Moves

This song epitomises OneRepublic. Everything about this song is their sound. Whilst I like it, it’s actually not one of my favourite joints.

3. Secrets

The second single off of the album.

4. Everybody Loves Me

This has a ‘ranch’ feel to it, a very Texan, country vibe. Definitely got a very American tinge to it. I could imagine blaring this out whilst on a road trip. Especially the little run down the scale at the end of the hook. Full volume, top down, wind against the car. Parfait.

5. Missing Persons 1 & 2

This is pretty much two songs in one, hence the title – 1 & 2, but both parts are effortlessly blended into one another to create a continuous listening experience for you. This has a very different feel to its preceding track. It’s probably the song I’ve listened to the least, but not because I dislike it and more due to the fact that I’ve been bumping some of the other songs much more. I’m sure in time, I will be finding myself playing this a lot more.

6. Good Life

Talk about a feel good jam. This makes me happy. When the beat kicks in at 10 secs, it makes me think of “No Air” by Jordin Sparks. It’s probably due to the beat and choir-esque synth strings. The hook of this song makes me just get lost in the music. With my headphones on, volume turned up.

I love this TUNE.

Check it out here and ENJOY

7. All This Time

8. Fear

Love the pizzicato strings.

9. Waking Up

I think this song is incredible. I can’t even explain how insane it is. The organ, the vocals, the guitar kicking in, the harmony of the guitar, the drums, the melody, mmmm. I could actually eat it.

BUT

you haven’t experienced anything yet, check this song out at around 3.20…..WOW. It literally inspires me so much. I’ve choreographed to it already. I’ve written two songs, whilst listening to it…

It’s actually unreal.

So beautiful.

10. Marchin On

11. Lullaby

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you OneRepublic.

Making the Most of Your Life Step #9: Build Your Team

If you want to make the most of your life, don’t do it alone. Ask for help. Create a team to support you as you reach for the pinnacles of effectiveness, creativity and joy. Find people who will catch you if you fall.

Build your team by making requests.

Think about a challenge you are facing now. Perhaps it’s marketing your business and building your client base. Perhaps it’s a fundraising campaign. Maybe you are preparing for a big event, exam or presentation.

Identify the people that you’d like to have in your corner and ask them for help. Share your dream or dilemma, and offer them the gift of helping you be successful.

Make a request.

I know. It’s scary. But do it anyway. Make a request.

Think about it as an invitation. Everyone wants to feel connected. You are offering an opportunity for connection.

Sometimes you’ll sense that someone is already in your corner – or wants to be – they just need some direction about how to get involved. Make your request and then watch with wonder as they unleash their full power on your behalf.

Practice. Practice. Practice.

Start practicing making requests . Hone the skill so that it’s ready when you need it most.

Think about what would make your life more wonderful. Your secret wish or an idea you want to explore. What if you didn’t have to explore it alone? What if it was no longer a secret?

What if you asked someone to…

• Introduce you to that person you’ve been wanting to meet?
• Suggest people that you need to know to build your business or further your mission?
• Sample your services?
• Help you brainstorm?
• Challenge you to think about aspects of your dream that you haven’t considered?
• Help you hone your thinking?
• Provide you with a forum in which to practice what you do?
• Take care of your child for an afternoon?
• Join you as a volunteer on a project?
• Join you for a walk or at the gym?
• Teach you something?
• Give you feedback?
• Be your cheerleader?
• Commit with you to devote the time and attention to building a friendship?
• Help you design an experiment that will move you toward a dream you’ve been dreaming for a long, long time?

Stay open and unattached to outcome

Make your request boldly, but at the same time, practice staying unattached to outcome.
Welcome the response you get, be it “Yes,” “No,” or “Maybe.” Prepare yourself to graciously accept whatever you are offered.

Set the stage

I find that it’s easier for me to make a request if I first let the person know that I’m going to make a request, that I appreciate the opportunity to ask for help, and that it is important to me that they respond from the heart.

I want helping me to add to their life, not subtract from it.

Set the stage for a joyful exchange: A “Yes” is good, but their honest “No” is equally good. And sometimes the best response of all is a creative counter-offer. Your colleague doesn’t want to do exactly what you’ve requested, but has a an even better idea. Celebrate.

“Build Your Team” is not about command and control. (That would be no fun at all.) It’s about making the most of your life while helping those around you to make the most of theirs.

Share Your Dreams

Throughout the summer, in these e-letters, I’ve offered a 10-step process designed to encourage you to consciously make the most of your life. So now, step #8: Share Your Dreams.

This one is really simple: Make your life a dialogue. Tell other people what your life is all about, and see what happens. (Listening helps too.)

Invite them to know you better as they understand just what it is you desire for yourself, and just what kind of change you hope to make in the world. Welcome them to join you. Watch as they become inspired to connect you with the resources you need.

Risk engaging others in dialogue that shifts and changes your dream, perhaps so that it becomes unrecognizable on the way to becoming really meaningful.

Sharing your dreams is simple in concept, but it requires a sense of momentum that may best be gained by revisiting steps 1 through 7.

So, let’s do a quick recap.

1. Eliminate clutter.
2. Practice presence.
3. Pause and reflect.
4. Take great care of your body.
5. Embrace your angels and your demons.
6. Think and talk about values.
7. Know your purposes and priorities.
8. Share your dreams.
9. Assemble your team.
10. Experiment and learn.

Build on what you’ve learned in steps 1-7.

As you eliminate clutter, consider what is essential for your comfort, creativity and sense of connection. Consider what those essentials say about you and your priorities.

What books will you always want to have handy? What keepsake remains on your dresser, instantly available to help revive a memory or a feeling or a person from your past or a sense of who you are at your very core? What kinds of spaces make your house feel like home? What kind of furniture do you want to have there? Who do you want to feel welcome? What activities do you want to make it easy for yourself to return to without thinking or planning?

How will you arrange your space — at home and at work — so that it supports you in practicing presence, making time for reflection, and taking great care of your body? What challenges did you encounter as you worked on steps 2, 3, and 4? What help do you need to meet those challenges?

Considering your strengths and vulnerabilities, what did you learn? Who do you need on your team?

What courage do you gain as you reconnect to your core values and your purpose? What is so important and so true that you must tell the world about it?

Tell the world.

Bring your dreams into conversation with the world. Invite someone into your slightly less cluttered home or office and give that person a tour of what you’ve uncovered. Tell a friend or a colleague how you’ve benefited from consciously practicing becoming more present for your life.

Share a story about a skill you are trying to master or a vulnerability that is getting in your way.

Tell your spouse or your board president about your highest priorities, and what you are doing to make sure that you have time to do the work that matters most of all.

Who knows what might come of it? One thing for sure: It helps to have allies when you are trying to make the most of your life.

Go ahead; open the door to your dreams.

Infusing Your Life With Purpose

We’ve made it to Step #7 in my Ten Steps for Making the Most of Your Life: Know Your Purposes and Priorities.

This may be a good time to mention that what I’m offering is not the ladder to Nirvana — but rather an ongoing process for generating meaning in your life. You may learn and begin to practice the steps one and a time, but the wheel of your life needs all ten spokes to keep itself spinning toward satisfaction.

A purposeful life requires choices.

Step #7 is really about choice making. You can’t do everything. You can’t intervene in every way. You can’t fill every leadership vacuum. You are a capable, talented, wonderful person whose skills and time are in demand, and would be useful in many arenas. You can drive yourself crazy trying to do it all — or you can prioritize based on purpose.

Take time to reflect on purpose.

Take a moment to pause every 24 hours (or so) to review what is most important to you. Reflect through the lens of these three questions:
1. What do I know about my life’s purpose and the values that guide me?
2. What will I do today to bring that purpose alive in the world? (In other words, what is my purposeful goal for the day?
3. What do I need to say “NO” to in order to devote the time and energy necessary to achieving my purposeful goal for today?

Start a conversation between yourself and the world about purpose.

I have a personal mission that informs the mission for my coaching business, and together they are the best, current statement of what I know about my life purpose. You can read them at http://www.coachjulia.net/pages/Mission.html.

My purpose has to do with connecting, and with encouraging people to do what ever they need to do to speed the flow between what Frederick Buechner calls “the place where your deep gladness and the world’s deep hunger meet.” It’s lofty and it’s mine and it feeds me.

I check in with myself every day to make sure that what I’m doing resonates in some way with my purpose. And it’s a work in progress. Every time I consciously choose one priority over another, every time I say “yes” to one opportunity and “no” to another, I further clarify that purpose.

In this way, purpose becomes an ongoing conversation with myself and with the world.

Remember Stephen Covey and the rocks?

I think that Stephen Covey’s “Big Rock” metaphor, coupled with a few minutes each day to answer the three questions I listed above, is about the best time management regime there is.

If you are unfamiliar with Covey’s concept, just imagine your day or your week or even your year as a Mason jar. Picture all of the things that you could possibly do with your time as either big rocks, pebbles, sand or water. The priorities you choose based on a sense of purpose (your own or your organization’s) are the big rocks. Tasks and commitments that are necessary (or fun) but not as connected to purpose are the pebbles. Less purpose-related tasks are the sand, and then, finally, the water.

Fill your daily Mason jar up with sand or water, and there won’t be any room left for the rocks and pebbles. A succession of days devoted to sand, water and pebbles, leads directly to burn-out.

But start your morning with a connection to purpose, and with identifying the goal that is your “Big Rock” for the day, and you’ll find there’s still plenty of room in your jar for everything else. Achieving your big rock goal provides you with a sense of meaning and the satisfaction of making progress on something truly important, while generating the energy necessary to deal with the nuts and bolts of life and work.

If there is one step in the process of Making the Most of Your Life that could be a short cut to everything else, this is it.

When Values Compete Leadership (sometimes) Happens

There’s so much to consider when we begin to think and talk about values. You may start with:

✓ Clarifying your own values.

✓ Articulating shared values – in your organization, family or community.

✓ Acknowledging hidden values, even those that may seem less than noble.

✓ Vigilantly closing the gap between your professed values and actions.

✓ Discovering the core values of those you seek to lead. When you know your stakeholders’ values, you can speak to the heart of a problem or opportunity by showing how your initiative supports their most cherished beliefs.

✓ Know your opponents’ values. Then, in a situation where there is conflict, you have the opportunity to shift the dialogue from hard and fast positions to the deeper level of needs and interests, perhaps finding ways to serve opponents’ values while mobilizing the change you desire.

But in these precarious times, the greatest challenge to those who wish to exercise leadership may be:

✓ Choosing among competing values.

When core values line up neatly, choices are clear.

If I know that one of my two core values is “home and family” (and assuming I have enough experience to know that more than one business trip each month leaves me feeling exhausted and out-of-integrity) it’s relatively easy to put the reins on too much travel: Look at the calendar. Breathe deep. Say, “No, thank you,” or inquire, “Would you consider postponing the workshop until the spring?”

Likewise, if you are the executive director of an organization whose core value is “artistic innovation” you will likely recommend administrative staff cuts before you would eliminate studio time for artists.

Leadership happens when choices get difficult.

But what if that same organization also strongly values “collegiality?”

The word may not show up in the mission statement or under “About Us” on the website, but the value is alive and well in the office and the boardroom. In that case, the decision gets harder.
Because, suddenly, leadership requires choosing among two deeply held but competing values.

In this situation, when every frill has been cut from the budget, does the CEO stand up for “artistic innovation,” or does she cut back on programming in order to maintain the full-time development director position?

The case can be made for either value (one directly and one under the guise of “organizational capacity.”) But in order for the group to stay alive, the choice must be made.

When values compete, you need the courage to choose, and the heart to speak to the loss.

The impact of a decision between competing values can be destructive if the person in authority fails to speak to the loss involved. Or worse, if you fail to recognize the competing values in the first place.

Be as forthcoming as you can about your decision-making process. Name the conflicting values, even the one that was not generally espoused by the group.

Speak to the crisis of organizational identity that comes when one value supersedes another. Let others know how difficult it was for you to make the choice. Acknowledge the loss. Give others space to deal with their pain.

But don’t stop with acknowledging the loss. Move the conversation from grief to hope, from letting go of the past to dreams of the future. Remind those you lead of their shared purpose. Help everyone fire up the hope that rises from the flames of a difficult – and necessary – decision.