I did mention that I should blog about this, right? I am so sorry I AM LATE! But…. Better late than never!

Heroic Age. The anime that my friend actually mistook for Fafner of the Azure. The link? Both were products of XEBEC, with similar character art. XEBEC is known probably for producing popular anime titles such as D.N. Angel, Pandora Hearts, Honey and Clover, Shaman King and Zoids. Outside of these animes, I don’t think XEBEC is well-known. This is probably why excellent animes such as Heroic Age and Fafner of the Azure are relatively unknown.

So, today I am going to share my two-cents’ worth for the anime~ First up is the basic information.
Directed by: Toshimasa Suzuki
Produced by: XEBEC
No. of Episodes: 26
Airing time: April 1 to September 30, 2007
Genre: Science Fiction based on ancient mythology of Greeks.

Do I see a general interest in it now? After all, it IS Science fiction based on mythology (especially about Hercules). When I first desired to watch it, it is due to my lack of Mecha action after the end of Gundam 00 and Code Geass. And I am someone who actually misses these action-times!! So what is Heroic Age all about?

Bascially, what you need to know is already given to you… I will further elaborate now. In this universe, there is a race of Superior beings called Golden Race. The Golden Race called out to the races in the universe, including those in the Solar System, for them to come out into the space with their own power and join them. Those who answered the calls are the Silver Race, the Bronze Race and the Heroic Race. However, troubles started.

Deianeira and Age

The Heroic Race, who loves to fight and are very powerful, got the entire universe involved in a war, and caused a lot of tragedies. In order to punish them, the Golden Race captured the remaining surviving members of the Heroic Age and forced them to serve the other races that are weaker than them. In order to do so, they were reduced to stones and given to individuals from different races, who became to be known as “Nodos”. Nodos were then to make contracts with their races and made to serve the terms in the contracts.

Age and Lolaus

When the Golden Race is ready to leave this universe for another, a last race, using their own powers, reached into the space. The Golden Race call them the Iron Age. Iron Age, who is actually Human Beings, were the last to come into the space and answer the call of the Golden Age. A chosen baby was then given a stone and became a Nodos. With that, the Golden Age left this universe.

Lolaus, Age and Deianeira

Soon after they entered into the space, the Iron Age were being attacked by the Bronze age, who were actually being controlled by the powerful Silver age. This act forces the Iron Age to leave their homeland and seek out other safer places to live in as they hide away from the Silver Age and their clutches. In order to save themselves and return to their homeland, the Iron Age decided to look for the Nodos that were given to them, as told in a prophecy left behind by the Golden Race. Thus, the journey and war began.

Age on the left and Paeto Ou on the right

Yet, this is not a show of mere armours. They were fighting the wars of education, where they slowly realise what is to be done, and what should be done. When they slowly realise the meaning behind the Golden Race’s words and actions, they knew what they had to do. And this is what Heroic Age is all about. And of course, a whole lot of mecha actions. XD

“Deianeira’s voice is a warm light.
Aneisha’s the morning air.
Tael and Mael are the drifting clouds.
Lolaus is the kind, strong wind.”

With his words and wisdom (and innocence), the Iron Age’s Nodos, Age helped the Iron Age in attaining the truth and the knowledge they needed.

Deianeira and Age

Main characters:

Iron Race:

• Deianeira
• Age (Nodos of Iron Race)
• Lolaus
• Aneisha
• Tael and Mael
• Mobeedo

Silver Race:

• Yuti Ra (Nodos of Silver Race)
• Karkinos Rucan (Nodos with Contract with Silver Race)
• Mehitak Pore (Nodos of Planet Pore, with Contract with Silver Race)
• Lekti Leque (Nodos with Contract with Silver Race)
• Paeto Ou
• Rome Ro (Commands all Nodos except Age, Paeto and Yuti’s superior)
• Prome Ou

Opening theme
Gravitation, delivered by angela, which I had previously shown in this blog. The song is of excellent quality with great composition and lyrics as well as performance by Atsuko. The lyrics to the opening theme actually matches that of the entire anime. It is only after I had finished the anime, and has understood EVERYTHING that I finally understood the real meaning behind the lyrics.

Ending theme
Azurite, performed by Tae Urakabe

Mehitak and Lekti

Ratings (Like I would not give a rating! Of course I would!):
Graphics: 4.5/5
Animation: 3.5/5
Plot: 4/5   -> might be slighty heavy, but ONLY slightly… Generally, there are elements of surprise. refreshing plot!
Character Development: 3/5   -> could be better, but Generally well done.
Songs: 4.5/5   -> Both opening and ending songs were well done, with consideration to the anime.

Overall? A MUST WATCH!

*Pictures are courtesy of photobucket.

Name: Seth Cluett
Link: http://www.onelonelypixel.org
Location: New York, USA

Title: zero balance (drawing zeros)
Description: zero balance (drawing zeros) is a direct recording of the drawing of zeros on paper. The repeated task is an attempt to center myself as I feel the gravitation pull of the thousands of bank balances approaching zero with each passing hour of the present economic recession.

Schon einmal was von Schwerkraft gehört?

Über 25 Jahre befasst sich nun schon eine kleine aber lautstarke Minderheit von Physikern um den unermüdlichen Israeli Mordehai Migrom mit der Möglichkeit, die Evidenz für die Dunkle Materie des Universums verschwinden zu lassen, indem man willkürlich das Newton’sche Gravitationsgesetz abändert. Inzwischen gibt es auch relativistische Erweiterungen dieser “MOND”, und ihre Fans glauben, damit einen Großteil derjenigen Beobachtungen erklären zu können, für die sonst die – in der Standardkosmologie bei weitem über die normale Materie dominierende – Kalte Dunkle Materie (CDM) herangezogen wird. Und manchmal sei MOND sogar besser als CDM in der Lage, etwa kuriose Eigenschaften von Galaxienhalos zu verstehen.

Völlig anders sieht jedoch die etablierte CDM-Fraktion die Lage: Während MOND gerade mal ein paar lästige Details (wie die Rotationskurven von Galaxien, für die das Konzept einst erdacht wurde) erkläre, beschreibe die – unveränderte – Allgemeine Relativitätstheorie den ganzen Rest des Kosmos tadellos. Und es gibt auch manchen Befund, der klar gegen MOND zu sprechen scheint (siehe z.B. ISAN 81-10). Da hagelt es dann Tadel für die Populärpresse, die MOND als gleichwertige Alternative neben CDM stellt, und selbst die Redaktion von Nature, die das MOND-freundliche Halo-Paper (das sich allerdings nirgends explizit für diese Interpretation der Daten ausspricht) durchgelassen habe, wird kritisiert.

Neue kosmologische Beobachtungsprogramme sollten bald in der Lage sein, zwischen der vielfach abgesicherten Standdardkosmologie (siehe z.B. Artikel 265, 686 und C59) mit CDM und Dunkler Energie und einer MOND-artigen Welt zu unterscheiden – und vielleicht hat auch bald man eines der zahlreichen Untergrundexperimente Erfolg, das direkt nach Kandidaten für die CDM sucht. Schon jetzt aber kann man festhalten, dass abweichende (aber physikalisch noch irgendwie vertretbare) Meinungen in der Mainstream-Forschung eben nicht unterdrückt werden: Die Flut provokativer Veröffentlichungen aus der MOND-Ecke in normalen Fachzeitschriften ist ein beredtes Beispiel.

Ferreira & Starkman, Science 326 [6.11.2009] 812-5, Ars Technica, Scientific American, Space.com 5., Centauri Dreams 4., SLAC, Cardiff Univ. Releases 2.11., Blanchet & Combes, Preprint 27., Starts with a Bang 27., Dynamics of Cats 9., Starts with a Bang 8., 6., Spiegel, BdW 1.10.2009, Gentile & al., Nature 461 [1.10.2009] 627-8, Uni Bonn PM, New Scientist, Spektrum, STV 30., Physics World 21.9., Milgrom, Preprint 26.8.2009. NACHTRAG: In einem anderen Paper machen sich mehrere der Halo-Autoren dann doch explizit für MOND stark.

This was a spanish class assignment I had. unfortunately I had to write a  story about crabs because my spanish teacher hates homosexuals.                      

  1.)I could see the sun rising, through the large window of the airport Starbucks I sat in. 2.) Faceless people from all over the world passed without acknowledging my existence. 3.)I still haven’t grown used to not having you with me, I wish I could have told you how i feel before your departure. 4.)You wouldn’t care anyways, I’m just a reject who stepped into the warmth of you life, only to be left in the cold of my own sorrow. 5.)Your probably not interested in people of your own gender any- 6.)My thoughts were interrupted by the most beautiful face I’ve ever seen. 7.) I wanted to reach out and touch you just to make sure you were real, but my body was completely frozen. 8.) suddenly, your lips were pressed against mine, I could read your emotions through your lips and I knew your loved me too. 9.) I could feel the caffeine race through my veins, along with my newly found happiness. 10.) “Come with me.” You said. I don’t know exactly where you were going, but no matter what it was the place I wanted to be.♥

Fascinant comme une abstraction, ou une démonstration de kung-fu.

Belgian Quadrupel, Smuttynose Brewery, New Hampshire

Once again I bought a beer because of its label, but how could I refuse a label with an illustration by Gustav Dore of Icarus?  Of course the fact that it was a Smuttynose brew also helped. I’ve been in the mood for some big. bold beer lately so this was a perfect purchase.

The beer pours a dark reddish-brown with no head, emanating a sweet scent that I liken to candied fruit. According to beeradvocate.com each batch is brewed with 200 pounds of raisin puree, so the sweet smell is no surprise.    The initial flavor is sweet and oily, feeling thicker than it really is. There is a rush of fruity and raisin flavors finishing nutty with a medium amount of alcoholic heat. Compared to other Belgian Quads, especially those actually brewed in Belgium Gravitation’s flavor was lighter both in sweetness and the amount of alcoholic heat, which is not a bad characteristic in my book. The lack of heat may be attributed to the abv of Gravitation which at around 8% is a little low for a Belgian Quad which usually goes between 9-13%. With more sipping notes of coffee show up both in the initial and aftertaste and as the beer warms the sweetness also increases. With some warmth the beer also develops a little bit of fuzziness, which is especially noticeable in the aftertaste.

Gravitation is a good sipping beer, sweet and flavorful, probably too much so to drink in large fast gulps. Like many Belgian beers it comes in a large bottle, perfect for drinking with a friend.  I found that with a tight cork/stopper the bottle can be stored for a couple of hours, so one can easily draw its drinking out for an entire drinking, though I would use a smaller glass, that way the beer will stay cold. I would however not store the beer overnight, I tried that once and the beer had very noticeably deteriorated.  I tried a glass with some smoked almonds, the character of the beer turned very dry, and the sweetness almost entirely disappeared, I think the dryness was a little too much and the nuts took too much of the character of the beer to make a good combo.

Die Formeln der Quantenmechanik haben Forscher um Tanmay Vachaspati (Case Western Reserve University, Cleveland) zur Schlußfolgerung geführt, daß es keine Schwarzen Löcher gibt. Desgleichen haben George Chapline vom Lawrence Livermore National Laboratory und Robert Laughlin von der Stanford University behauptet, mit „Dark Energy Stars“ die „Black Holes“ aus dem Lexikon der Kosmologie streichen zu können.

Die Allgemeine Relativitätstheorie sagt voraus, daß beim Kollaps eines schweren Sterns die Schwerkraft derart anwächst, daß noch nicht einmal mehr Licht entweichen kann. Damit geht aber auch Information für immer verloren, was nach der für die moderne Physik ebenso fundamentalen Quantenmechanik schlichtweg unmöglich ist. Deshalb muß, um die Naturgesetzte zu erhalten, beim Kollaps die Information ausgesandt werden, die bei der Entstehung des Schwarzen Loches verloren ginge. Die erwähnten Forscher argumentieren nun, daß durch diese informationshaltige Strahlung so viel Energie freigesetzt wird, daß sich die Materie des kollabierenden Sterns gar nicht mehr genug verdichten könne, um zu einem Schwarzen Loch zu werden.

Ein zweites schlagendes Argument lautet, daß für den Beobachter, der ein Objekt betrachtet, das in das Schwarze Loch fällt, die Zeit stillzustehen scheint, was nach der Quantenmechanik ebenfalls unmöglich ist.

Mit anderen Worten: nach den allgemein anerkannten Gesetzen der Physik kann es Schwarze Löcher gar nicht geben!

Chapline und Laughlin gelang es, die Gesetze der Allgemeinen Relativitätstheorie und der Quantenmechanik wieder zu harmonisieren, indem sie auf das Verhalten von supraleitenden Kristallen zurückgriffen, die durch „quantenkritische Phasenübergänge“ hindurchgehen.

Während dieses Übergangs sollte der Spin der Elektronen in den Kristallen großen Schwankungen ausgesetzt sein, aber diese Vorhersage wird durch Beobachtungen nicht unterstützt. Stattdessen scheinen die Schwankungen sich zu verlangsamen und hören sogar ganz auf, so als hätte sich die Zeit selbst verlangsamt.

„Da hatten wir unser Offenbarungserlebnis“, sagt Chapline. Er und Laughlin begriffen, daß, wenn ein quantenkritischer Phasenübergang auf der Oberfläche eines Sterns auftritt, sich die Zeit verlangsamt und sich die Oberfläche genauso wie der Ereignis-Horizont eines Schwarzen Loches verhalten würde. Die Quantenmechanik würde nicht verletzt werden, weil in diesem Szenario Zeit nie vollständig stillstünde. „Wir gehen von Effekten aus, die man im Labor wirklich beobachten kann, was, wie ich finde, den Schwarzen Löchern eine größere Glaubwürdigkeit verleiht,“ sagt Chapline.

Man lese dazu meine Ausführungen über Supraflüssigkeiten und Supraleitung in Orgonenergie-Kontinuum und atomare Struktur, wo ich diese quantenmechanischen Phänomene in die Orgonphysik einzuordnen versuche.

Ausgehend vom „quantenkritischen Phasenübergang“ analysierten Chapline und Laughlin mit Hilfe weiterer Kollegen den Kollaps massiver Sterne.

Tatsächlich sagt ihre Theorie statt Schwarzer Löcher einen Phasenübergang voraus, der eine dünne quantenkritische Schale erzeugt. Der Umfang dieser Schale wird durch die Masse des Sterns bestimmt und beinhaltet eben keine Raum-Zeit-Singularität. Stattdessen enthält die Schale ein Vakuum, der dem energiehaltigen Vakuum des freien Raums entspricht. Während die Masse des Sterns durch die Schale hindurch kollabiert, verwandelt sie sich in Energie, die zur Energie des Vakuums beiträgt.

Die Berechnungen des Teams zeigen, daß die Vakuumenergie innerhalb der Schale eine starke antigravitative Wirkung hat, genau wie die dunkle Energie, von der gesagt wird, sie beschleunige die Expansion des Weltalls. Chapline hat die Objekte, die auf diese Weise entstehen, als „Dunkelenergie-Sterne“ bezeichnet.

Was die „Dunkelenergie“ betrifft habe ich mich mit ihr bereits in Dunkelenergie und Orgonenergie beschäftigt. Es handelt sich hier um mißverstandene Orginenergie.

Aus der Entfernung unterscheiden sich die „Schwarzen Sterne“ kaum von herkömmlich konzipierten Schwarzen Löchern.

Wie viele Jahre wurden dem Publikum die „Schwarzen Löcher“ als Nonplusultra an moderner Wissenschaft vorgeführt, – doch letztendlich sind sie auch nur wieder Orgonenergie-Phänomene. Siehe dazu die Ausführungen über „Seyfert-Galaxien“ in Überlagerung und Teilung in galaktischen Systemen, wo ich George Chapline erwähne.

Man kann geradezu sehen, wie die „Schwarzen Sterne“ im Zentrum von Galaxie Orgonenergie ausstoßen:

A long title to this post… But it speaks the truth. THIS is the reason why I stopped listening to other music:

Watch it, and then you will understand…

It is the first opening song for anime Heroic Age, by angela. What can I say? It is what I have been looking for!
From 2004’s Fafner of the Azure (aka Dead agressor) to 2007’s Heroic Age, its been a long time! How I missed the mecha action!! But of course, the main point is not that.. the point is the music!

From the style to the voice… can I not recognise the voice?? IMPOSSIBLE! angela (it is trademarked that way) is angela (ang-g-le)! But, angela has changed! From the first time I met them (ok, i came across them….), I was curious of the wonderful music in the anime, and had went to search for it. It is wonderful, from the depth in the lyrics to the music composition, which brings you from the waves of emotions so clear it is amazing. All these are not to mention the vocalist’s amazing voice! The performance is consistent throughout for both the opening and ending of Fafner.

Then, came Heroic age. A second of these type of anime produced by XEBEC. Sunrise is not the only company capable of good mecha action. (Heads up, guys.. those who only know Gundam and Sunrise, you are missing out a lot!) When I heard the music and the voice… can I not know who is it? It is impossible. But like I said, angela has grown, and changed for the better. There is a better visual effects, and the venue is wonderful. So is the costumes, and their new styles. I love it! *but of course, that is in 2007.. I am just being late, as usual*

So, to sum it up, that is how I stopped listening to other music and stayed with anime music.

————-
angela is made up of 2 members, Atsuko (vocalist and lyricst) and Katsu (Song composer and Guitar).
They gained their fame from singing anime songs.

Just You Wait

Original Work: Gravitation

Summary: Shuichi finds a way of getting Yuki’s attention that is guaranteed to succeed.

Spoilers: I don’t even know why I have this here.  If you’re already going WTF at Gravitation, there’s not much left to be spoiled.

Warnings: Candid discussion of sex.

Preference Warnings: The level of candid discussion of sex kind of squicks me out sometimes, and I wrote it. But that’s just because I’m so demure.

Notes: I seem to have a terrible tendency towards showing Yuki making casual fun of his novelling career in my fics. I can see him doing it and still taking his work kind of seriously. It’s more or less how I work, after all. Also, on a side note, HE’S TOTALLY SCREAMING MY NAME.

Eiri grunted in amusement. He was right; when spoken aloud, the bulk of his new manuscript sounded trite and trashy. (In other words it was standard.) Moreover, it was fortunate he wasn’t in the habit of working himself into his plotlines, or he’d need to do some serious editing. Tamami Seyoko would not be making statements to that effect if she’d ever met him.

That thought amused him enough that he was able to continue working on the dull filler sections of his new sex story that, as usual, he’d left until a week before his deadline to compose.

At least, he was able to do so until he heard the moan.

It was the sort of moan that stopped work dead, because it signaled someone in the vicinity was enjoying an experience more fulfilling than any work. Also, it was Shuichi’s voice he’d heard.

Eiri’s hands dropped to his sides as he struggled to comprehend what his senses were telling him.

Shuichi didn’t masturbate. The last time he’d tried at Eiri’s suggestion it might help him with his clinginess, he’d come running out of the bathroom in moments crying about how embarrassing it was to look at his ‘wee willie winkie’ in that condition, and how he wasn’t attracted sexually to his hand anyway.

Shuichi was having sex, then. In his room. In his bed, without him. He hadn’t even asked permission!

Another moan echoed through the quiet house, this time markedly louder. Eiri jerked to his feet, the trivialities of Seyoko’s life forgotten for the moment.

He could have sworn the two of them were alone in their shared accommodation. Whoever his lover was banging must have crawled in while he was distracted. When he was focused on a deadline, Shuichi could have sneaked the whole of Nittle Grasper in and it wouldn’t register.

Still, he’d never thought Shuichi capable of such… deception. Not that he could be certain exactly what Shuichi was capable of. He realised with a stab of something decidedly uncomfortable that he hadn’t networked properly with the little shit who was his lover for weeks. He’d just taken off to his room without bothering to explain about his deadline, where he typed endlessly and grunted in response to Shuichi’s voluble comings and goings, stumped out to eat the occasionally palatable meals Shuichi cooked without protest…

Eiri drove those thoughts from his mind. He was the one being betrayed! They’d been exclusive for months now, at Shuichi’s insistence. He had a right to expect the boy wouldn’t be brazenly doing it with the door open, on his bed, which just anyone!

There was an exultant shout of “Kami-SAMA!”, some panting, and another long, drawn-out moan.

He was out the door before he knew it, striding to the bedroom and flinging open the door that wasn’t quite closed, thinking as he did so that if the guy were that Hiro Shuichi doted on, he’d throttle him with his own hair…

Eiri raked the room with a glare fully intended to be calculating and unforgiving, only to have the expression drop as he took in the scene before him.

There lay Shuichi belly-down on top of the covers, fully clothed. He was propping his head up on one hand; the other held a pencil set to his sketchbook. He looked up and grinned at Eiri, and let out a small, needy-sounding moan.

“You little fucker,” growled Eiri.

“Well, I’ve found something that gets your attention,” Shuichi observed.

“You… you better not have been faking it all these months,” was the only thing Eiri could think of to say that wouldn’t dig him deeper into this hole. He’d been had, played like a kid’s board game with the instructions printed right on the playing board, and it was a bad feeling.

Shuichi’s eyes went swimmy. “You do care about my feelings,” he pronounced, apparently not even noticing his victory of mind.

Eiri was so pissed, not to mention put off writing dull filler, he didn’t take the opportunity to point out if he didn’t, he’d throw the brat out, thus declaring his feelings without needing to declare anything, which would keep Shuichi happy for weeks.

Instead, he yanked him up by the scruff of the neck. “When I’m done with you, you won’t have enough energy to play stupid games.”

Shuichi just grinned.

Fatherhood – A Modern Fairytale

Original Work: Gravitation

Summary: Eiri faces the natural consequences of his wild ways.

Spoilers: None.

Warnings: A whole lot of ranting about sex. And vomit.

Preference Warnings: My screwed-up sense of wit really comes into play here.

Notes: I have no idea what I was thinking when I wrote this. I found it recently in my unfinished stories folder, and if there was really meant to be some further punch line I don’t know what it could have been.

His libido deserved to go to hell.

Eiri caught himself attempting to modulate the volume of his thoughts for the sake of the sleeper in the next room. He wanted to scream. He wanted to bash his head into the wall. He probably would have done one or the other, if it weren’t that excessive noise would only wake the kid and set him screaming, and Eiri would be as good as locked into another six hours of feeding and rocking and coddling until he slept, by which time he would be a few bars of Sleepless Beauty away from collapse.

Mopping his forehead that was beading at the mere thought of the inevitable ordeal, too afraid to mark the time pacing the floor, Eiri wished he could just pack the kid up and send him home to his mother. She was over every other day anyway. She took audits on the contents of his cupboards and lectured him about nutrition. If he so much as glanced towards the brat while she was there she would intercept the gesture and begin to frown, as if she were the only person in the world capable of caring for her baby. If it weren’t that he were too sick to be moved, he could have sworn the woman would have gathered him up in her arms and rushed him home away from Eiri’s corrupting influence.

And good riddance if she did, he thought unrepentantly. That boy’s virus had killed his love life. He hadn’t had sex in eleven days. He hadn’t glanced at a computer in ten. His meticulously constructed career was slipping. He’d lost weight, and not in any of the right places. He was partly shaven, all-over greasy and his face was developing its own shadows. When he hurried down the street for emergency supplies he was sure the people who glanced aside at him as he passed saw a handsome, harried dad rather than the brooding bachelor he’d been not so long ago.

Damn emotional ties.

Eiri thought about a nap on the couch. When had he slept last, exactly? No doubt the memory and any good effects of that sleep had been dashed by an ear-splitting yell from the kid minutes after he retired. He needed his sleep. He couldn’t count on both his hands the things he needed to do before he would start feeling normal again, but twenty hours’ sleep, a shower, a nicotine IV drip turned on high and a meal taken at leisure would be a good beginning.

He wobbled towards the couch, which was incidentally missing one of its cushions, but when he was about two feet away his head turned in response to a restless noise issuing from the bedroom.

“That stupid brat!” Eiri cursed. “Can’t he turn his brain off for six hours at a time?” In frustration he grabbed a fistful of his own hair and yanked hard.

The muffled whimper was very quickly escalating to a wail. He wanted food, or comforting, or something. How was he expected to know exactly which with an individual whose main form of communication involved opening his mouth wide and forcing out as much sound as he could manage?

Eiri crossed the room much faster than he had moments earlier and flung open his bedroom door. There was kindness to the sick and to children, but he’d had about as much of that as he could be reasonably expected to take.

“I’ve had it up to fucking here with being your daddy!” he bellowed, describing a savage line across his throat with his flattened hand.

“What? Yu-uuu…” The invalid’s feverish eyes wavered. His lips twitched.

“Don’t you ‘Yu-u-u-u-u-ki’ me,” Eiri warned, drawing out each vowel like the bite of a machine gun. He clearly looked more serious than usual, because Shuichi shut his mouth.

Automatically Eiri assessed the situation before him. Shuichi had tossed off his blankets in his sleep again. He moved to replace them and noticed, in passing, that the kid had brought up some fresh sweat.

Well, that was it. He would have to wait to achieve his own nirvana of cleanliness, because Shuichi needed a thorough sponging that very moment. That was the first lesson and cardinal law of parenting, right there: the brat came first, always.

“What did you mean about being my daddy?” Shuichi whined.

“Well, that’s what I virtually am now, isn’t it?” Eiri decided to disregard everything he’d been told about not upsetting the sick. Shuichi was looking a lot better today than he had on previous days when his responses were limited to thrashing and dribbling. He tucked his charge in carefully, but chose his words less so. “Unless you’d like to think of me as your honorary mother. Because all I’ve been doing for the past week is taking care of you.”

“I’m sorry,” mumbled Shuichi. “I didn’t mean to get sick like this. It was the tour… all those different people with different lifestyles, and my job does mean I’m standing around with my mouth open a whole lot.”

“Not just your job, either.”

The boy stared up at him trustingly. It was getting to the point where not much shook his confidence. “I love you. Thank you.”

“You need a bath,” said Eiri.

There was another serious issue he had with the whole business. Early on, he’d at least gathered some paltry amusement from undressing the boy without being subjected to his protests and constant questions as to what he was thinking of doing, mostly when it was quite obvious.

Now Shuichi’s exposed body didn’t ignite the tiniest spark in him. The next time he tried to initiate sex, the only things running through his mind would be Shuichi’s colour, and whether he’d lost weight.

“Damn you,” he added.

Shuichi shifted slightly so that he could better watch the object of his affections. Well, reasoned Eiri, if he could roll over, he might be back to his normal, mostly self-reliant self in a day or so. “Thank you, again,” he said. “I know you didn’t want to look after me but you did it anyway. If you’d decided you were too busy I would have had to stay with my parents.” He giggled. “Can you imagine that? I’m kind of trying to avoid a situation where I have to explain to my mum how I ended up with all those bruises on my back.”

Eiri couldn’t understand how Shuichi managed to be perky when his eyes and nose were dripping and he clearly felt like shit. “I hate you,” he mumbled.

“I know,” said Shuichi, calmly.

Shuichi’s bawling had the unfortunate effect of enraging Eiri. And now, he found that the singer’s rare sedate spells also sent him around the bend.

He began to yell and gesticulate simultaneously. “You’ve fucking practically taken over my house with your noise and your Playcubes…”

“What do you mean,” Shuichi interrupted, “Gamecube or Playstation?” He was smiling, a few breaths away from sitting up. Eiri contemplated kicking him out of bed to do his own washing.

“All of them shitty pieces of plastic that make noise. They’re almost as bad as your fucking music that you insist on playing, as if you don’t hear enough of your own voice…”

“Poor Yuki,” said Shuichi softly. “You need sleep. You’ve been so good about taking care of me that you’ve forgotten to take care of yourself.”

Somehow, Eiri wound up in bed with Shuichi, the snivelling musician attempting to gather him up on his lap and rock him like a baby. Eiri didn’t care at that point. He let the boy think he was comforting him. He could pass the whole experience off as one of Shuichi’s convalescing hallucinations anyway.

Shuichi was squeezing him into a ball a little too enthusiastically. Eiri found himself with his head in a serious kink, looking down at his lower body. It was funny, he didn’t remember dressing in his best silk shirt that morning. He would have to change that, before it got more wrinkled and dirty…

“Yuki?” Shuichi sounded frantic. “Um, you’re pressing on my…”

Which was as far as he got before his mouth was occupied in bringing up the paltry constituents of his breakfast: on Eiri’s head and his recently-observed best silk shirt.

The room fell into post-tragedy silence.

Shuichi spoke first, excitedly. “Look, Yuki! It’s exactly the same colour as your hair…”

Eiri cut him off by standing abruptly. “That does it.”

“Sorry?”

“You just got better. Get out of bed.” Eiri pointed. “Have a shower. After that I want you to do my washing and go buy me fifty packs of cigarettes. In exactly fourteen hours we are having sex. And if your interfering bitch of a mother drops by to tell me I don’t know how to take care of you, she can watch.”

Shuichi nodded vigorously. He looked frightened. “Uh, Yuki…”

The image of Shuichi was tilting. Eiri tried to grab him to put him upright, but before he completed the task, the bed rose up and walloped him in the face.

“Yuki! Are you all right?”

His last thought was that he could see Shuichi’s vomit on his hair. And the boy was right; it was exactly the same colour…

…A few hours later, Shuichi got around to making a phone call.

“What, me? I’m fine. Seriously, Hiro, you can be walking around puking your lungs out and be getting better. I’ve got to be better, now, for Yuki.”

A pause, listening. “Yeah, I guess it was inevitable. He looked after me all that time, and you know how he never takes care of himself. He’s so good to me. Hey, how do you think I’d be as a father? No, obviously I haven’t gotten anyone pregnant, but Yuki was saying all sorts of weird stuff and I think maybe he’s considering it…”

Cell Fish

Original Work: Gravitation

Summary: Shuichi brings up the baby topic. Eiri has his own reasons for acting as expected.

Spoilers: Nothing specific.

Warnings: I don’t think I could ever come up with anything more disturbing than what’s already in the series.

Preference Warnings: Baby talk. If you’re, uh, squicked out by babies, I guess. Also I did like zero research for this so it in few ways represents something that could actually happen.

Notes: I think my main motivation for writing this was to do something with that oh-so-punny title that ACTUALLY MAKES SENSE. But aside from that, I’ve read lots of Gravitation fics that bring up babies, and it’s fun to explore my own take on it. I have a few, of which this is the only even remotely happy one.

“Hey, Yuki,” Shuichi called from the doorway. “Can we have a baby?”

“What?” Eiri had met Shuichi’s parents, and they’d seemed pleasant enough, but from the way Shuichi carried on sometimes he wondered if they’d just treated their first child like a big science or social experiment. Tell a kid absolutely none of what he needs to know to exist in the real world, and watch havoc unfold! “No, we can’t,” he said.

“Yukiiii!” Shuichi burst in with that whine. The crybaby express. “You mean you’re not even going to think about it?”

“What’s to think about? You asked a question with a definite answer, not that I know how you were uncertain about the answer in the first place. You need a uterus to grow a child in, and the technology just doesn’t exist to put that in a man. Besides which a vagina is generally involved to start the process, not that you would know much about those…”

He stopped when he realised that Shuichi had come in dressed in the suit he’d worn in his latest shitty winter ballad clip, and looked like he was on his way to a funeral. The second’s pause gave him an opportunity to realise what Shuichi really meant.

“…You can not be serious.”

“Why wouldn’t I be serious?” Shuichi protested.

Of all the… He’d thought he would be spared this discussion with Shuichi. Hadn’t thought about it, actually.

“Of all the people in the world, Shuichi, I would think of having a baby with you last.”

“Why?”

This was going to blow up in his face. He could feel it. Being in a relationship put being in a roller coaster to shame. If the roller coaster ever got it into its head to change the nature of the ride it offered, there had to be signs put up, notices in the paper. And there was always somebody to sue.

“You’re just too selfish,” he said. “How could somebody as self-absorbed as yourself ever be trusted with the life of another human being?”

“I am not selfish!” Shuichi slammed his hands down so hard on the table Eiri’s laptop gave a little hop, and not of joy either. “Why do you think I came in here all dressed up like this? I wanted to show that I could set a good example for a child, that I could look good when I needed to.”

“Oh, geez.” Eiri retrieved his laptop and put it safe on the shelf behind him. He was starting to get pissed, and he didn’t think insurance or his publisher would pay up if he ended up being the one who threw the damn thing at Shuichi’s head. “You think that being responsible is all about you looking good for a nonexistent camera at a given time, and you insist you’re not selfish?”

“Of course I know that’s not all there is to having a kid!” Shuichi shouted. “But I also know that if we did have one, I couldn’t just go on presenting myself the way I do now. I mean, I’m a musician, and that’s not going to change. I really love what I do. But I know I’d have to stop taking it home so much. I’d have to start dressing more normal around the home so that I wouldn’t embarrass the kid to his friends. And sex, you wouldn’t want him looking at some of my stage costumes and asking questions. You don’t want a kid learning about that stuff too early. And…”

“Me,” said Eiri.

“What?”

“Me, me, me, me, me.” He folded his arms. “My point exactly. You make out like you care so much about this hypothetical kid – who is apparently a boy in your delusional fantasies – but what you’re really thinking about is what a shining impact you can make on some captive little human’s life. Because apparently you don’t get enough attention as it is.”

“Well, maybe if you actually bothered taking the things I said seriously once in a while, and listened to me…” Shuichi shut his mouth so hard his teeth sounded like castanets. Eiri shook his head and lifted his laptop over his shoulder. He figured Shuichi had already proved his point dramatically enough that he didn’t need to rub it in.

But he took a breath, like he wasn’t finished yet. “Well…” Eiri wasn’t expecting anything particularly cutting, but he braced himself anyway. “Maybe I would want to have a kid with you least of all the people in the world because you’re such an asshole you could screw up the lives of people you just pass by on the street.”

“I know I’m an asshole,” said Eiri. “And I know you’ve known I’m an asshole all along, too. So the fact that you brought the suggestion to me in the first place doesn’t do a whole lot for your case.”

“Good thing I don’t need you to have a kid anyway,” Shuichi snarled.

“Maybe you don’t, but you need my permission if you want to bring some other human into my house, especially one that screams and shits everywhere. And you need someone to give you a kid, first. You can’t just stuff a few coins in a vending machine and get one on a keychain.”

The Shuichi Express had already left the room. Eiri listened to his feet punching down the hallway, and thought about doing something. But what? He wasn’t going to encourage the brat.

He still felt like shit about it, thinking maybe there was a way he could have handled the situation without having it blow up all over him. That was the other shitty thing about relationships. Even when the other person was dead wrong and deserved to be told, you ended up feeling bad because they were feeling bad, and wanting to lie about how much of an idiot they were just to make them happy again. Which meant you weren’t doing the service to the human race that only you were in the perfect position to. He could understand why people got married. You had to convince yourself somehow that the law was on your side for sticking up with the idiot, or you would eventually go mad.

Was Tohma or Mika the idiot in that relationship, he wondered?

*

Probably because he was mad enough that he wasn’t really trying not to be noticed, he made it to the orphanage with just a hat and sunglasses as cover and didn’t attract any photographers. He kicked aside half a dozen trash cans to make his way up the steps of the building, then trotted back down to toss a few coins to an old guy whose mosaic of bits of different outfits made him look more like he was in disguise than Shuichi. Maybe he really was in disguise, a reporter doing a story or some rich singer or businessman who’d gotten sick of the hamster wheel of high living – but Yuki would have told him he was approaching a perfectly obvious situation like an idiot. In any case, he could have been his parents if Shuichi hadn’t had the look and presence and talent to make it big.

He took the hat and glasses off once he was in the foyer of the orphanage, a room decked out in carpet from another time. There was a desk to approach, but a middle-aged woman with a face sour as a shrunken apple approached him from another direction.

She looked him up and down and smiled, which was not how women of that age in black and white usually reacted to a young man with pink-dyed hair entering their place of business. So, she knew who he was, or at least what he was.

“I know who you are,” she said. “I know I don’t seem the type, maybe, but my granddaughters are tremendous fans. They won’t believe me when I tell them you came around here today. Perhaps, although I understand if it is too much to ask, an autograph…?”

“Of course,” said Shuichi. “After, maybe.”

“Of course, you have some business here.” She wrung her hands back and forth and then stilled, smiling. “Excuse my rudeness, Shindou-san. I am the curator of this place, Hashimoto Sayaka. It’s not often that a person in your… position… chooses to visit a place like this. Not without some warning, although of course it is still fine; we have nothing to hide here. I rather prefer that there is less fanfare so that the children are least disrupted. You wanted to see the children, I take it?”

“Yes,” said Shuichi.

“Well, I shall show you around their quarters. Most of them are having their afternoon nap at the moment, but I can introduce you to the older children who are mostly in the playground, and I think we can make an exception to our rule of no excitement for the little ones this late just this once. Of course you shouldn’t be offended if they do not know who you are, as there are few opportunities for us to keep them acquainted with the latest culture given our rules and funding. But they understand what a big music star is, without question. Sayuri!” She shouted the name twice, and a grubby young girl in an apron burst from the same entrance Hashimoto-san had come through. “Do we have a camera in the building? It would really be something to show to the sponsors… if Shindou-san is amenable to the idea of photographs, of course.”

“I don’t mind,” said Shuichi, though it was a little annoying that Hashimoto-san had immediately taken his appearance as a charity visit, rather than that of a prospective parent. Perhaps because she knew (through the granddaughters) he was with Yuki, and most prospective parents arrived with their partners. Perhaps he really did look like too much of a flake to be seriously trusted with children, even with the suit helping him along? But how could this possibly be selfish? He was denying the ultimate selfish desire – to have a child of one’s own. Well, any child he adopted would be his own, of course, but most people were unable to see things that way. Didn’t it count for something that he did? Of course Yuki would never think to ask the questions that would help him find out about that…

“I will look – right away, Hashimoto-san!” Sayuri squeaked, and fled so fast Shuichi looked for skid marks.

“Actually,” he said, as Hashimoto-san opened her mouth again. “I did want to see the children, of course. But there was something more… I was actually thinking that I might like to adopt one of them.”

“Oh,” said Hashimoto-san. “Is that so?”

Sayuri reappeared with a disposable camera that looked like it had spent the rest of the year being sat on. “We won’t be needing that after all,” said Hashimoto-san. “Shindou-san, I… I think it would be better if you instead viewed the children from the window. Come.” She led the way past the desk and parted the inch-thick curtains grudgingly. Through a sliver of windowpane and over Hashimoto-san’s shoulder Shuichi saw a slide kicked permanently into an artistic slant and a sandbox about big enough for two kids who didn’t mind each other. Both these props were planted into bare old soil. The three kids standing out there looked as if they might have been planted, too.

Shuichi hardly knew how to ask what he wanted to. “Hashimoto-san… why am I not good enough to be a parent?” Small and quavery was not it, for sure. But those little kids out there might have been him, if his parents had been killed in a horror smash and he’d had no relatives to take him in. It was heartbreaking. And Hashimoto-san, who had never met him before in his life and who was fine with her granddaughters being fans, also thought he was not parent material!

When she turned back to him, she looked as though she’d just spent a very long time trying to get a bit of prawn out of her teeth, and had only succeeded in bruising her mouth. “It has nothing to do with whether you are ‘good enough’, Shindou-san. I don’t profess to know you well enough to speculate on your capabilities. But it is your lifestyle…”

“My rock star life?” Hashimoto-san continued to stare at him. “…Yuki?”

Hashimoto-san sighed. “Shindou-san, while it is true that families come in all shapes and forms, you must understand that it would be highly irresponsible of those of us in charge of the welfare of these children to entrust the future of one of them to such an unconventional family as yours.”

Under her gaze that didn’t quite match her words, Shuichi first felt filthy, and then like a boxer who’d gone half a dozen rounds and was more pumped than ever to go a dozen more. He was good enough to pose for photos so that the sponsors would pay up, but not good enough to give anything more than money to one of those kids. Just because he was with a man. The older kids were dying of boredom where they stood, who only knew what the younger ones were going through (because they wouldn’t show him) and all they could think about was how it offended some people for a man and a man to have babies to call their own. They didn’t even care that Yuki was so horrible sometimes Shuichi felt like he was going to hurt forever and you didn’t want that for a child, or that Shuichi couldn’t even remember to feed a goldfish at the right times…

“Of course,” Hashimoto-san added, “it isn’t me that makes all of the decisions about who gets to adopt a child. And in fact it is extremely difficult to finalise an adoption in this country…”

But, of course, she hadn’t talked about that first.

“I understand,” said Shuichi, “I really do. And now, if you’ll excuse me running off like this… I have somewhere else to be.”

He remembered the autographs she’d mentioned, but he wasn’t going to bring it up if she didn’t. Maybe that really did make him selfish. He was denying some probably very deserving girls a scribble of his on a bit of paper just because their grandmother had made him feel bad about loving a man. But he really couldn’t do anything about the way he felt just to soothe his sense of right.

*

Shuichi was back faster than he expected, quieter, and dressed more typically in a bizarre combination of little-girl tights and the sort of leather no child would be allowed to even stare at.

“You were right,” he said.

“I was what?” Eiri had no idea what those words could herald, so he put put his laptop back up on the shelf.

“I am too selfish to have a kid.” Shuichi collapsed in a pile of limbs on the floor at his feet. “I mean, it’s all about giving some kid the best home and the best life you can, right? It’s not personal.”

“Where have you been, anyway?” Eiri asked, and saw Shuichi seize up as if he expected to be hit. “I’m just asking because you don’t usually come from the supermarket with common sense.”

“The orphanage downtown,” Shuichi mumbled. Eiri exchanged glances with the ceiling. “But they wouldn’t even let me see the kids properly. It was all fine when they thought I was just offering help – you know, money-help, but when I said about adoption, they… you know.”

“You know they can’t really refuse you so quickly if you go through the proper channels,” said Eiri. “Bursting in like that isn’t the way to do it.”

“But that’s how I wanted to do it,” Shuichi said. “And you’re right. If I’m going to be like that I shouldn’t be responsible for some kid. All I was really thinking about was how good it would feel to me, how nice it would be to be able to make someone love me, really love me…”

He ought to kick himself. Make a day of it, invite everyone he knew, and put Shuichi in the box seat so he could see every minute of it. But he couldn’t go that far, even for Shuichi. And that was why he owed Shuichi at least the truth.

“You weren’t completely selfish,” he said. “You were right to think about the effect your job would have on a kid. You thought about that a bit too much, but even I know that parents get obsessed with one thing to the detriment of all the others. My father was so preoccupied with me being a good dutiful boy that he never bothered asking whether I was happy, and then he got neither. You didn’t pick so badly on what to be obsessed with.”

Shuichi just stared up at him. Any longer and he would start to get hopeful, and Eiri had a responsibility to avoid being stupidly cruel, at least.

“I need to tell you the truth about why I said the things I did,” he said.

Shuichi wriggled up onto his knees. “Which is?”

“I just don’t want kids. Not with you, or anyone else.”

“What?”

“And that foghorn-screech is why I didn’t want to tell you in the first place.”

“Well I don’t get it!” Shuichi was up and pacing. “Everybody wants to have children to… to carry on their legacy.”

“What legacy? Genes?” Eiri snorted. “If you want to have children with me, then that obviously isn’t your motivation. As for career, I hardly think raising brats is going to get my novels or your lyrics written.”

“You are always, always going to tease me about my lyrics,” Shuichi grumbled.

“It’s only teasing if you think it is,” said Eiri.

Shuichi stared at the floor. Eiri wondered if he was telling it in his mind what a frustrating git Yuki was, and how he didn’t know how either of them put up with him. Well, he supposed Shuichi was deserving of a surface in the house to confide in. Walls could never be trusted.

“It was just an idea for something we could do together,” he said. “Everything else important in our lives seems to pull us apart. I just thought… when things are over, it would be nice to be able to say there was something we worked on as a team.”

“Idiot,” said Eiri. “You don’t need kids to have a family. Only stupid people think that, and then they throw everything they’ve got into raising the kids and break up when they’re grown, because they never had any other reason to stay together in the first place.”

Shuichi was only looking to him, now. “So we’re a family?”

“The bringing together of crazy relatives without murdering one another in the process, yeah, I think we are.”

“I’d still like kids, somehow,” said Shuichi.

“I’ll let you know if I ever change my mind. But so you don’t get the wrong idea, I wouldn’t count on it.”

Shuichi sighed, and laid his head down on Eiri’s knee.

“I’ll buy you a plant,” said Eiri. “A cactus, maybe. And we’ll talk about the kids later.”

Old And Unappealing

Original Work: Gravitation

Summary: If you live your life acting to alienate everybody, who can you count on when you most need it?

Spoilers: Nothing specific.

Warnings: None.

Preference Warnings: Yuki being only 50% of a bitch may not gel with some people’s interpretations of him.

Notes: I was going through a sleepless night myself a while back and scripted this story in my head as comfort. I’m not nearly as nasty to people who care for me as Yuki is (as far as I realise) and I freak out all the time over whether I’m going to maintain any lasting relationships, so I can see this happening.

He bit. He liked to live on the edge. “You must secretly love it, because I don’t see you making a fuss until I step on your toes really hard.”

Mika sighed, like a mother might, and at that point Eiri felt a little like the child pushing his parents just to see that he could do it, and it didn’t seem so smart any more.

The sound of her departing heels swelled louder in his ears, until he heard the dirgelike clop of a stallion drawing a hearse away into the fog.

Eiri jerked awake with his heartbeat a death’s rattle in his ears. The scene he’d just experienced was past, the interaction of a different Mika and a dramatically different Eiri. But even with his sleep-blinders lifted his sister’s past words clung to him like prophecy.

His mind tuned in to the snores of Shuichi, half out of the blankets on his back alongside him.

“Shuichi.” He flicked the side of Shuichi’s head, in the hair, and Shuichi wriggled and came awake all at once.

“What? Is something…”

“Will you still want to be with me when I’m old and unappealing?” he whispered.

“What,” said Shuichi, turning to him in slow motion.

“Tell me the truth, damn it!”

“Of course,” Shuichi said, yawning. “I mean, you’ll never really be unappealing to me. Old I guess I can’t do anything about, but… I mean, you can be… strange, I guess, sometimes. But I’m strange too at times, so it doesn’t… and I’m really tired. Um, I love you?”

Eiri put his head down over Shuichi’s heart, and curled his arm around his waist. “I love you,” he said. “You saved me. I don’t want to be alone when I’m old.”

Shuichi put his arms around Eiri, fingers spreading out across his back. “Me either,” he said, and the slight curving inward of his fists was the only sign that he’d gone back to sleep.

Eiri listened as his heartbeat aligned to Shuichi’s, and started to feel as if he might be able to brave sleep again.

For His Own Good

Original Work: Gravitation

Summary: Yuki is Shuichi’s hero. More than Shuichi can ever be allowed to know.

Spoilers: Nothing unusual.

Warnings: None.

Preference Warnings: None.

Notes: I always like to think that, somewhere behind the scenes, Yuki and Shuichi have connections and things in common that freak out both of them.

Shuichi of course kept yelling. “Yuki! Yuki! Yuki…”

“Yuki!”

“What?” Eiri jerked into a sitting position, and found himself in bed. Or formerly in bed. The once orderly pile of blankets keeping him warm was strewn all over the room, the most notable incidence being the one across his bedside lamp.

And Shuichi was sitting cross-legged beside him, oblivious to the mess, staring at Eiri with his eyes like little pots of glitter.

“That was so amazing!” he gushed.

“What?” Had Shuichi perhaps grown more senile than usual? Was his snoring now an aphrodisiac for the little twerp?

“The way you busted in there with that katana and showed those evil pocky who was boss!” Shuichi rolled onto his side in rapture. “I was so scared! I thought I was gonna die from external bleeding for sure until you showed up… and then it turned out it was all a dream, but that was even cooler because you came to save me even in my dream!”

A range of emotions passed through Eiri, all of them rather chilly.

“Do you ever dream about me, Yuki?” Shuichi asked.

“Never,” said Eiri. “Not once.”

“Oh,” said Shuichi. “Oh. Well, it’s still kind of early so… good night, for now?”

“Yeah,” muttered Eiri, and Shuichi flopped onto his side and shut his eyes. Eiri gathered up all the blankets that had borne the brunt of his katana-wielding in the real world and covered Shuichi up, but didn’t get back into bed himself. It was too early, but he’d lost all enthusiasm for sleep.

Nobody knew better than him that sometimes the truth was just too dangerous to share. This was the most compelling example of it that he’d encountered in a long time.

Breaking In

Original Work: Gravitation

Summary: Shuichi gets a bit too swept up in the vampire craze.

Spoilers: If you’re obsessed enough to be looking for fics, probably nothing.

Warnings: Nothing major.

Preference Warnings: Twilight jokes.

Notes: Ah, Twilight is good value, I’ll give it that.

It caused him a moment of panic, but he supposed he couldn’t begrudge it for wanting to take a peek at the gorgeous dreamer laid out on the bed, revealed under a blanket tossed aside in sleep-tossing. The dreamer’s head was thrown back, thrusting relative miles and miles of pale neck forward for worship.

If he were caught there, he would be in a lot of trouble. As if he weren’t inviting trouble for himself just by staying close to this beautiful creature.

But he couldn’t leave, not for all the trouble in the world. Fixated on that throat, flowing seamlessly into the rest of the body but somehow its own entity too, the life flowing just beneath it that most forbidden of all fruits, no doubt sweeter than anything of its kind and teasing him, tormenting his senses with something they had never been trained for.

He knew he should keep his distance, and yet he moved, crawling like the shadows to the sleeper’s feet, slinking further to the head. Shameful, needing, he knelt by the gateway to paradise and felt his lips ripen and burst at the sight. His mouth stretched as wide as it would go over that exquisite pearl, inhaling a bouquet so vital it seemed to bring colour to his stony, sparkly skin.

He needed to control it. There could only be agony through this course of action. But his teeth encroached and insisted until he could think of nothing else…

After Yuki stopped screaming, he dragged Shuichi into the shower and gave him a scrub that was half sloughing off the sparkly body gel, half dermabrasion and zero percent sexy.

Then he found Shuichi’s copy of that teenage shit Twilight, tore it apart page by page and, not at all deaf to Shuichi’s wailing about how he hadn’t even read halfway yet, torched them with his lighter. And informed Shuichi that if he ever got stupid enough to sneak into his bedroom where he had no business and bite him in his bed again, he’d bite Shuichi’s head off. Sounded like an empty threat? He’d find a way to do it.

Merde. Non seulement j’ai passee toute la nuit debout, mais ma tartine au nutella que je me suis savoureusement preparee pour le petit dejeuner viens confirmer que ma journee  va bien se passer…Pourquoi faut-il que la tartine tombe tjrs sur le cote beurré?

En attendant que je finisse de nettoyer le par-terre et de me refaire une autre tartine, je vous laisse mediter sur la question du jour:

miam miam!

Teil 1

Ein internationales Forscherteam um Gianfranco Gentile von der Universität in Gent ist auf Ungereimtheiten in der bisherigen Theorie von der Dunkelmaterie gestoßen. Die „Dunkelmaterie“ wurde vor allem postuliert, um den Zusammenhalt von Galaxienhaufen und die Rotationskurve von Galaxien zu erklären. Während sich die Planeten in einem Sonnensystem getreu den Gravitationstheorien Newtons und Einsteins so verhalten, daß sich ein innerer Planet wie Merkur schnell die Sonne umrundet, während ein äußerer Planet wie Uranus sich entsprechend langsam bewegt. Bei Galaxien ist die „Rotationskurve“ jedoch flach (teilweise sogar ansteigend!), d.h. die Sterne am Rande der Galaxie bewegen sich genauso schnell (wenn nicht sogar schneller!) wie die im Zentrum.

Die Orgonomie erklärt das damit, daß getreulich Reichs Überlagerungstheorie ständig frische Orgonenergie in die Galaxie einfließt und entsprechend die äußeren Sterne „antreibt“. Die mechanistische Wissenschaft hingegen erklärt die flache Rotationskurve mit der zusätzlichen Masse der unsichtbaren Dunkelmaterie: anders als im Sonnensystem ist die Masse einer Galaxie nicht im Zentrum konzentriert, sondern so verteilt, daß dabei die flache Roationskurve herauskommt.

Die Forscher um Gentile stießen nun jedoch bei ihren Berechnungen zur Verteilung Dunkler und sichtbarer Materie auf einen unerwarteten Zusammenhang: Es gibt möglicherweise eine bisher unbekannte Verbindung zwischen den beiden Materieformen. „Sie scheinen sich auf eine rätselhafte Weise miteinander auszutauschen“, erklärt [einer der Forscher]. So ist im Zentrum großer Galaxien offenbar gar keine Dunkle Materie nötig, um die beobachteten Gravitationseffekte zu erklären. Erst außerhalb einer bestimmten Grenzfläche hätte die Dunkle Materie dann einen Einfluß.

Mit anderen Worten, die mysteriöse „Dunkelmaterie“ verhält sich alles andere als mechanisch, weshalb die Mechanisten komplizierte Wechselwirkungen zwischen der normalen Materie und der Dunkelmaterie postulieren müssen. Oder die Gravitationsgesetze von Newton und Einstein müßten umgeschrieben werden, doch dem steht entgegen, daß die Dunkelmaterie, wie erwähnt, auch bei anderen Beobachtungen eine Rolle spielt.

Beim orgonomischen Erklärungsansatz bestehen diese Probleme von vornherein nicht. Das ist ganz genauso in allen möglichen Bereichen der Wissenschaft der Fall, wie in 13 unbeantwortete Fragen der mechanistischen Wissenschaft Teil 1, Teil 2 und Teil 3 dargelegt.

Siehe auch Überlagerung und Teilung in galaktischen Systemen.

Notre périple dans le monde de la physique commence par la mécanique classique. Cette discipline, qui se fonde sur les équations et les lois de Newton, a triomphé dans la communauté scientifique jusqu’au début du 20^ème siècle. A son origine on trouve Isaac Newton qui, pour unifier les lois de la chute des corps de Galilée et les lois de Kepler sur le mouvement des planètes, énonce un ensemble de lois et développe des équations qui vont poser les bases de la mécanique classique. En effet, selon lui, la chute d’une pomme et le mouvement des planètes autour du Soleil sont les deux aspects d’un même phénomène : on l’appelle la gravitation. La force de gravitation est une force uniquement attractive et instantanée selon Newton. Un objet massif va attirer un autre objet, d’autant plus intensément que ces objets sont proches. On dit que cette force est inversement proportionnelle au carré de la distance qui sépare les deux objets. Cela signifie que, si ces deux objets sont à une distance deux fois plus grande qu’au départ, alors la force de gravitation qui s’exerce entre deux sera quatre fois plus faible qu’à l’état initial.

Comme il a été dit plus haut, Newton a énoncé un certains nombres de lois. Elles sont au nombre de trois.

La première de ces lois énonce le principe d’inertie. Dans un référentiel galiléen (voir Kézako), un corps qui n’est soumit à aucune force (ou dont la somme des forces vaut zéro) persévère dans son état de repos ou de mouvement rectiligne et uniforme (en ligne droite et à vitesse constante). Prenons l’exemple classique que les professeurs nous montrent au lycée : le module à coussin d’air. Posons ce module sur une table, puis injectons lui une force dans une direction quelconque, en le poussant par exemple. Le module va d’abord accélérer, puis décélérer pour enfin s’arrêter. Pourquoi ? Voyons le bilan des forces. Au repos, nous avons la force de gravité (dirigée vers le bas) qui attire le module vers le sol, et l’action de la table (dirigée vers le haut) qui le retient. Ces deux forces ont la même direction, mais des sens opposées, si bien que leur somme vaut zéro. Ainsi, le module est au repos car la somme des forces agissant sur lui est nulle. Lorsque nous le poussons, le module finira par s’arrêter car les forces de frottement avec la table vont le contraindre à décélérer. C’est ici que le rôle du coussin d’air est important. En effet, sous le module, de l’air est projetée afin de limiter au maximum les forces de frottement avec la table. Ainsi, lorsque nous le poussons à nouveau, le module va effectuer un mouvement rectiligne et uniforme, car les forces de frottements auront disparues rendant de nouveau la somme des forces égale à zéro.

La deuxième loi de Newton est également appelée le principe fondamental de la dynamique. Cette loi est d’une importance capitale pour l’étude du mouvement des objets. En effet, ce principe va mettre en relation la masse d’un objet et son accélération, avec la somme des forces qui s’exerce sur cet objet. Ainsi, cette relation va permettre d’obtenir une description complète du mouvement de l’objet en prenant en compte les interactions externes à celui-ci. Physiquement, l’accélération d’un objet est une quantité qui représente de combien va augmenter la vitesse, chaque seconde. Du point de vue mathématique, l’accélération est la dérivée de la vitesse. De même, la vitesse est la dérivée de la position de l’objet. On dit que l’accélération de l’objet est la dérivée seconde de sa position. C’est pourquoi cette relation fondamentale va permettre de décrire la position de l’objet dans l’espace, à n’importe quel temps.

Enfin, la troisième loi de Newton est le principe des actions réciproques. Cette loi explique en partie pourquoi un objet posé sur une table ne passe pas au travers. En effet, si on considère les forces agissant sur cet objet, nous avons la force de gravité, qui attire l’objet vers le sol, et la réaction de la table. Cette réaction est une force ayant la même direction que la gravité, la même valeur, mais un sens opposé. Si bien que la somme de ces deux vaudra zéro, et le solide sera donc au repos. En généralisant ce problème, on obtient le principe des actions réciproques de Newton : « Tout corps A qui exerce une force sur un corps B, subit de la part de ce dernier une force de même intensité, même direction mais de sens opposé. »

Nous avons vu à travers cette introduction les trois lois de Newton qui ont posées les fondements de la dynamique classique. Ces lois sont déterministes, c’est-à-dire que la connaissance des conditions initiales d’un système physique va permettre, avec ces lois, de décrire complètement l’état du système à n’importe quel temps dans le futur. Les scientifiques de l’époque étaient tellement confiants sur la validité de ces lois que Laplace lui-même avait annoncé que si l’on pouvait connaître parfaitement l’état de chaque corps de l’univers aujourd’hui, il serait théoriquement possible de prédire exactement comment le monde va évoluer dans le futur. Bien entendu, tout ceci est faux. Depuis cette époque, la science a connu bien des révolutions, et aujourd’hui la mécanique quantique nous démontre la place importante que le hasard a prit dans notre Univers.

This is a little “squee post” to show my love for these two characters.

I want to start with something cheerful because it’s going to get sad later on. And fun is K and K is fun. Though I don’t show you such a moment but the one where he meets Yuki! In a playground. I like to imagine he’s there with his son. He’s such a great Dad (I just love the scene with him and his son in the manga)


It looks like a staring competition…

K talks Yuki into a date with Shuichi … and Yuki doesn’t like at all.
I just love how K is able to handle every situation and how he creates plans in order to get his artists to do their best and to exceed their limitations. He is such a great manager and he gives his all to his job. But still does everything for his family. Plus I think it’s great that he is able to have fun in every situation.
And this is a difficult situation for Yuki because he cares for Shuichi but still fights him. He doesn’t want anyone special again and yet he does care for that little brat. And now that strange man comes and pushes him further into that relationship and has to give in in the end (after he got shot at 4 times…)

Yuki is not always the handsome novelist (don’t you just love him with glasses? ♥) with a cool exterior he also has his problems.

He has nightmares…

…and is emotionally unstable so that he looses control over his car and ends up at the side of the road…

so he goes to a shrink

… and he confides in his brother in law Seguchi, who was responsible for Eiri at that time.
Eiri is so cute here and I say Eiri because that’s the person he was, he became Yuki after that incident. He closed himself because he didn’t want to be betrayed again, he was so hurt and scared. Pushing people away is his protective mechanism. Yes he can be quite charming but that’s just a play, he knows to well how it works, how to handle people but that’s all to convenient for him because he doesn’t get involved. Just playing the game. And that’s what he tried to do in the beginning with Shuichi as well but that didn’t work because Shuichi wanted Yuki, the one inside. I said this in the pictures is Eiri, and I mean that he connected with his past here. Normally he just tries to live his live as he learned to do so but there he looks back and he goes back, revisiting the feelings he tries not to have but has them all the time and so is dictated by them. That’s why he would wish to not remember. It weights so much and he is unable to rid of their influence though he is well aware that it imprisons him.
I just want to hug him there – like Seguchi does. I just want to tell him I understand.

He didn’t cry for 6 years and then came Shuichi and shook his world so that he could process at least a little bit of what happened to him.