Hey guys, so basically as I was editing the Understanding Frame Data article with the official damage scaling since console was released, and I was thinking… “hmm, I can make this into an entire article.” So to help you guys understand how scaling in Tekken 6 actually works, here it is.

Juggle Scaling

Basically whenever you launch your opponent in the air every hit in the air you followup with, it scales with every hit in the juggle.

You can see here that the first initial hit, in this case, the launcher will begin at 120% scaling of the move

Now keep in mind that all moves that hits your opponent while both their feet are on the ground, which I will call a “standing opponent” will do 120%. (Please do not mistake this for an opponent guarding standing, or crouching, both will do the same 120%. Just keep in mind that whenever the opponent has both feet on the ground it will do 120%.) So keep in mind that such things as Natural Combos (NC) and Natural Counter-Hit Combos (NCc) will retain the 120% scaling (with the exception of the first hit in a NCc, since on Counter-Hit moves will do more damage varying anywhere from 125%~141% on average, depending on the strength of the move) since your opponent is still considered standing.

Though after being launched by a “launcher” obviously, the scaling begins and will continue to get scaled followed by every successive hit on your airborne opponent. The specific scaling formula goes as such: 120% (the launcher), 60%, 50%, 50%, 45%, 45%, 45%, 40%, 40%, 40%, 30%~

…and the scaling begins

Grounded Hit

So like I’ve stated earlier, hitting a standing opponent will do 120%, where as if your opponent is grounded, grounded hits will be reduced from the usual to 100%; though this is not the same as previous games like Tekken 5: Dark Resurrection. In previous games (excluding Tekken 5.1, that shit didn’t even exist), standing hits and grounded hits both did the same percentage of 100%. So with this new strategies will come along with the whole okizeme game (ground game, I’ll go into this further in a soon-to-come article,) since grounded hits will do less damage per se than what regular hits normally do.

Low-Wall-Hit

Now what is a low-wall-hit you ask? A low-wall-hit is when your opponent appears to be grounded at the wall when you hit them.

You’ll have to excuse the blurriness of this picture, T6 motion blur ain’t no joke.

This happens when you hit them when they were really low on the wall, and almost fully grounded. You’ll notice in the picture above the scaling goes is at 70%, instead of 100% like a regular grounded hit. In the Tekken 6 series, the wall system was changed from previous games, they introduced a new mechanic to walls in which we call a “wall slump.” In the previous game of Tekken 5: Dark Resurrection, all wall hits did 70%, even the low-wall-hits in that game did as well, which were actually a lot harder to do. But now it’s no longer the case, the juggle scaling is retained even at the wall, except for when a low-wall-hit occurs. Usually a lot of combo enders will end with a low-wall-hit, though some characters have a low-wall-hit in the middle of their wall combo, which is all character specific.

“So, what happens to the scaling when the low-wall-hit happens in the middle of a wall combo?” Well, let me use Lars as an example, one of his main staple combos at the wall is: …,W!, uf4, B!, df1, db21, f1+4. There’s two low-wall-hits that occur in this combo the first one occurs when Lars does db2 in that combo as shown here:

You can see the scaling is back at 70%, but the following hit:

goes back to the regular scaling formula, right where it left off. If you haven’t checked out episode 1 of Level Up Your Game, make sure to do so to help you better understand how the wall system in general works.

Clean-Hit

There are certain moves in this game where if you hit your opponent “deep” enough with it, it’ll have a clean-hit property to it. Meaning that X move will do more damage, depending on how close you were to your opponent when you hit X move. Now keep in mind not all moves have this property, only a select few actually. Many characters don’t even have a single move that’ll give a clean-hit.

So let me use Paul as an example, since he’s the king of clean-hits. Paul’s deathfist (qcf2), demo-man (d4:2:1+2), and qcb2 all have the potential to hit clean. I’ll mainly use Paul’s deathfist for this example. From afar Paul’s deathfist at the normal 120% only does 38 damage, where as if done from close range with the clean-hit,a scaling will boost up to 178% and do 57 damage. Now not all clean-hit moves will boost up 58%, it’s just like counter-hits it varies from move-to-move. Paul’s qcb2 with clean-hit actually scales up to 185%, and his demo-man scales to 180%.

“So can clean, rage, and CH effects all add up?” Yes, yes it can. A CH+clean deathfist scaling already jumps up to 212% doing 68 damage. Where as if you add about 34~35% more for the extra damage your character can do in “rage” mode, ouch.

mmMmm what you say, indeed.

Alright now that about wraps things up, hopefully this helps you guys better understand how to maximize your damage .

So, this is a story all about how my life got flipped, turned upside down a kid got grounded for three months when his sister ratted him out to his parents. With a lot of free time ahead of him and nothing to do, this kid decided to get some revenge. He snuck into his sister’s room and started snooping around.

And that’s when he found this. And posted it on Facebook. And tagged every single person mentioned in it.

I’m assuming this girl has learned her lesson… and never quite got through the rest of this list.

And if you don’t think this is true, check out the entire Facebook post here.

 

cause the spotlight aint nothing without cha girl

and the danceflo’ aint nothin without cha girl

you a show stoppa, woah oh ohhhhh

let’s get it poppin’ woah oh ohhhhh

I am not a fan of Gucci Mane at all, well not the artist as a collective, I will admit to liking a few of the singles that I hear on the radio, but I absolutely love this song “Spotlight” featuring Usher! And doesn’t Eddie Murphy’s daughter look like a doll! Shes gorgeous! But so is her mom so it should be expected!

Bria Murphy

I am loving the short hair! Its HAWT…I just cut mine off this past weekend, and I can’t wait to show you guys I have just been uber busy with Christmas and other things! I also have to post my little wish list just in case one of my wonderful readers wants to be my Secret Santa.

Back to the reason for the post (I always rant, which goes against my short and sweet rule) over the past year alone I’ve become more exposed to the spotlight and I’d be lying if I said that I didn’t enjoy it. Sometimes I fear losing the real Keisha to the madness and staying both grounded and humble is a true task, but I feel as if I do well in maintaining my true self.

Funny thing was said about a week ago from a couple of my around the way girls!

Friend 1:OMG you should have seen Keisha when we went out, she acts totally different around those people. She was giving air kisses!

Friend 2: Air kisses? No she wasn’t. I am so glad she’s able to turn that off when she gets around us

Friend 1: Yea (laughing) me too.

I was right in the vicinity when this convo was going on and these girls are like my sisters so I don’t mind what they have to say. I look at it like this, it takes a real pro to be able to fit in to all crowds, I am diverse, and no it’s not a big ship! *Anchorman insider*

Well hopefully I’ll get my blog on before Christmas, until then toodle loo and thanks for reading *air kisses* lol

As unmotivated as I am, I have always dreamed of starting anew. I have joined countless blog sites, planning to write a creative and eventful life but all has failed. So I have resorted to one that I believe, Miranda Kerr, uses – WordPress.

As for Tumblr, Blogspot and Xanga… I have always had trouble typing or remembering the name. It took me 3 days to remember the name of ‘Tumblr’… I had used the word ‘Tumble weed’ to allow myself to remember this better. As for ‘Blogspot’, I always find myself typing ‘Blogpost’ into the URL Bar in my Chrome Browser. And Xanga… is where all the TBS Unite. (No offense…) And I have forgotten my password… Okay, I admit, that TB thing was an excuse.

Anyway, I have 3 months of holidays and am only allowed out once every 2 or 3 weeks. Does anyone out there feel my pain? Or am I at this alone?

Anyway, I have decided to open a packet of cookie dough mix and bake myself 10 beautiful cookies. I have named each and everyone of them *tear*

No, I was joking.

But you can take a look at this image I have uploaded. I have eaten 2 of the cookies, hence the remaining 8.

Okay, take a look at the complimentary picture of me baking cookies too…

Anyway, I should really stop typing now.

Love love xx

Well as you know, Sheish and I have been back in the studio working on tracks for what will be the next album. The first taste of the album is Grounded and the good folk at Black Rider Press have put it up for free download for you all. There is also a whole bunch of other sonic delights for you to download including comes to rest by Ashley Capes, The Everything Poem by Lily Chan and Smoke by Nick Santos-Pedro. So strap on your saddle and head on over to the Black Rider Shop to download some free sonic poetry. Look forward to hearing your thoughts…

Yesterday I had a realization that I, Carlie, am worthy of respect no mater what I do.

Somehow I had it ingrained in me that being late (for example) repetitively is reason to say all sorts of nasty and unloving things to myself.

So, not only have I caused others to be behind in their day, but I’ve brought their energy down even further by arriving in a state of self punishment. 

This time, I thought to myself, what if, instead of all that, I think of a way to uplift the person I’ve inconvenienced? What if I arrived full of vitality with positive energy to share?

I decided to actively focus on loving myself as I ran 30 mins behind schedule.  Not only did I relax and listen to uplifting diva music in the car but miraculously, a drive that I thought took half an hour only took fifteen minutes! I arrived feeling good, grounded and amazed.

As I pulled up to the curb, it struck me that it is the person, not the behaviour that is worthy of respect.  No matter what behaviour or habit I am frustrated by in myself, I never have reason to disrespect the beingness that I am. 

I realized also that because we are all One that if I respected myself, others would too.  And that if I was ever frustrated with another’s behavior I could remember to put my attention on Who and What they are, versus their behavior, and respect that One.

As it turned out my college had needed the extra time to complete her project.  She finished just as I pulled in.

Evil Tree by BigT2000

Not an evil tree in my opinion…….but awesome and fierce!!!!  OOOO I wanna be fierce!  I am feeling a bit more grounded.  So strange because I have been sooooo busy and usually that makes me feel somewhat lost.  I found myself much more present in the all the work and activites I had in the last few days, which is so wonderful and strange for me.  I am hoping this is a sign of deeper roots.  Be back later after I get in a writing session….xo!

Queen of Swords:

Now is a good time for calming and relaxing activities to help give you a sense of peace and tranquility in the middle of all the chaos or stress that may be occurring around you.  I see that this peace and calmness can help keep you on a grounded and steady path, to basically be able to successfully handle all of the situations that you may be coming across this month.   I see that this will also allow for you to be able to be open to your life and it’s experiences, and maybe even some new experiences that can be pleasurable rather than closing up and just trying to get through all of the demands and expectations at this time of year.  Life is for living, so take control of your life and decide how you want to live it, on your terms, so that you can have a pleasurable and meaningful life.

Jeremiah 17:7-8 says: 

But blessed is the man who trusts in the LORD, whose confidence is in him. He will be like a tree planted by the water that sends out its roots by the stream. It does not fear when heat comes; its leaves are always green. It has no worries in a year of drought and never fails to bear fruit.

A tree’s confidence is its roots. A tree’s roots support it, nourish it, and provide for its sustenance.

We are to function in much the same way.

Our confidence comes from having our roots firmly grounded in the Lord.

Look what the verse says . . . The tree that has roots in the river does not fear the scorching heat of drought.

If our roots are sent out into the character of God, when the heat of trials come (and it will . . . it always does), we will be able to persevere. Heat is still hot. It’s still uncomfortable. But the leaves of the tree by the river stays green through the heat. If we are rooted in God, the leaves of our lives will remain even through the toughest trials.

Not only will we persevere, but we will come through the drought better off. Rooted in the Lord, we will never “fail to bear fruit.”

A lot of different folks stop by this blog, and I am thankful for each of you.

• If you are a parent, what are you doing TODAY to help your child send down roots grounded in the Lord? How are you equipping them to weather lives dry periods?

• If you are a youth worker, what example do you set for teenagers? How do you stay strong in the midst of life’s parched moments? What are you doing in your ministries to take your students deeper into a knowledge of God?

• If you are a spouse, how are you helping turn your partner’s attention to the Lord? What are you doing to create a relationship, a home, where God is truly foundational?

May each of you find your roots solidly planted in God.

Have a great weekend.

38ZAQMDBVX4T

Kyle XY Season 2 Episode 17 Grounded

Alternative:

Part 1

Part 2

Or:

]]> http://itspink.wordpress.com/2009/11/27/my-9yr-old-is-suspended-from-school/ Fri, 27 Nov 2009 00:51:04 +0000 itspink http://itspink.wordpress.com/2009/11/27/my-9yr-old-is-suspended-from-school/

I had the shock of my life on Wednesday morning when I had a call from my son’s headteacher telling me that his behaviour had got to the point that they were going to have to suspend him from school. It wasn’t just the one incident – it has been a build up of rude and agrressive behaviour that stems from his frustrations and the way that he subsequently lashes out at other people in anger. This is the culmination of many months of problems at the school that I’ve not mentioned so much in my blog as I’ve been so pre-occupied with getting out my thoughts on stuff with AP and getting to bed before 3am in the morning that I’ve not had TIME to write about everything else.

My son is 9 years old and was diagnosed at age 6 with ADHD and Aspergers Syndrome (Autism Spectrum Disorder) – although I had been pushing for a diagnosis of something since he was 2.5 years old! He takes medication called Equasym XL daily to keep him calmer and more focussed and generally I find that the meds combined with good parenting and support from the school keeps him on a fairly even keel.

My son’s ”combined disabilities” for want of a better term mean that as well as the ADHD side giving him a total lack of focus, the Autistic side gives him a great deal of difficulty in understanding and social communication. Although he understands cause & effect and consequences, he has trouble actually applying this to real life circumstances. If you were to give him an example of a playground scenario where one child ends up being hurt by another child and ask him to talk about what each of the children involved could have done differently to avoid injury and confrontation, then he will literally give you a text-book perfect answer. He KNOWS what he is supposed to / should do … but cannot actually get his brain to c0mpute this at the time which leaves him frustrated and lashing out in anger.

Thankfully my son is very well supported at the middle school he’s at. It is a combined primary/middle school which has meant that the same teachers / staff / support workers/SENCO etc get to know the children from ages four through eleven during those really valuable formative years. It has also meant he’s been with the same peer group throughout all of that time as well, so the other kids have had a chance to learn / tolerate him to a certain extent. There have been good and bad aspects of all of the above, but I’ve been really lucky with the support I’ve had from the school on a personal/parental level.

The headmaster Mr P is a very fair man and has given my son a lot of leeway for his “disabilities” – he also understands my personal situation as a single mother of two, (where the father attempts involvement) and basically it all comes down to me (and my support from AP!) Mr P understands my situation with my ex and has actually given me compliments many times on how well I handle things on my own and I’ve had lots of ticks in the good mother box from Mr P about the things AP has suggested that I’ve implemented!

I am SO LUCKY that although I am a single parent, I’m not alone because… even though AP and I don’t live together … he has been such a huge influence on the positive parenting that has made a big difference to my kids. It is so crazy how a man in his early 30s who has no children … has such great ideas/values on parenting!!

It’s okay that this makes me really horny, right?

Seriously AP will make such an amazing step dad and an incredible father that it makes my body twinge in all kinds of wonderful ways!! I LOVE the way he gets so wound up at my ex’s lack of real involvement! AP was with me when I got the call from the school’s headmaster informing me that my son was suspended and he was really there for me.

The upshot of things is that I’ve grounded my son for two weeks. I chose this time period because there is three weeks left of school and four weeks until Christmas (it’s on a Friday this year) which gives him four whole weeks where I expect absolute exemplary  behaviour out of him because not only is his mother severely pissed off with him (I didn’t use those words!)   Santa is watching very very closely!! being suspended from school puts you firmly on the naughty list and you have to work extra hard to get off the naughty list, then even harder to get back onto the good list. So far he thinks all he is getting is coal for Christmas!

Grounded as far as I am concerned means absolutely NO computer and NO television whatsoever. There’s no checking email and they aren’t even allowed to use the computer for homework purposes … and not even allowed to glance over the shoulder of someone else on the computer! If you are grounded and in the room when the TV is on, then it will be on either news, or the Discovery / National Geographic channels with an educational documentary on! You are not allowed to play outside at all and if you even mention the words “I’m bored” then you have to do lines (two sides of A4 lined paper) You also forefeit bedtime hot chocolate and bedtime snacks and get nothing more than a juice to take up to bed. IF you are caught breaking any of the rules of grounding then extra time will be added to your punishment depending on the gravity of your crime.

I love being a mean and cruel mother because IT WORKS. The punishment is all my own except for the addition of lines which was AP’s suggestion. I actually used it on my son yesterday after the phone call from the school and it was an excellent way of getting him to realise just how much trouble he was actually in. I made him write two sides of lined A4 paper saying “I must not be aggresive at school.” I made him start it three times because he wasn’t writing it out neatly enough, then on the fourth time I let him get halfway down the second side before pointing out that any crossing out or mis-spelling meant he had to start all over again.

He was crying his eyes out, flopping on the floor, swinging on the chair and trying to come up with every excuse possible NOT to sit there and write out lines, but I simply maintained control, kept the consistency going and told him tough luck because until every single line of both sides of paper said NEATLY the words “I must not be aggressive at school” then he wasn’t allowed to move even to go to the toilet.

Being so very harsh on him was VERY DIFFICULT even though I was utterly furious that it had got to the point of a suspension!!!! It was a very hard thing to do because in my heart I kept wanting to make excuses for him due to his ADHD & Aspergers and give him reasons to get away with his behaviour … but in my head I knew that the absolutely right thing to do was to come down on him like a tonne of bricks, so that is exactly what I did and IT WORKED! One of the hardest things to do as well was knowing that this all kicked off on a Wednesday … the one night per week that the kids go to their dad, and that during the day on the Thursday when my son was suspended … it would be entirely my ex’s responsibility to make sure that our son was punished.

I don’t ever give my ex credit whatsoever when it comes to parenting our children because of past experience and more proof than you can shake a big hairy stick at that he is indeed a crap father!! BUT what I’ve realised I need to start doing is to give him credit for growing and changing as a person over the last year we have been apart, and for having a vested interest in our kids’ futures.

I was very impressed  by my ex’s parental involvement in this and it was nice to see. Ultimately I would love to have absolutely NO contact with my ex at all, but for the kids it is important that we get on to a certain degree as it will make them emotionally healthier when they are older. I even rang my ex tonight to give him a compliment on the way that he handled everything today and admitted I had been tempted to pick our son up from him at 9am today to make damned sure that he worked hard during those school hours!! I even told my ex that it was AP that turned around to me and said “Nessa seriously, you have to give your ex a chance to prove that he actually can be a good father to those kids. We all know that SON would do much better if you were there with him, but give his father a chance to take care of things too.

If the truth be told I didn’t think my ex would do a very good job of it today at all. I had visions of our son being plonked in front of a TV while my ex “worked from home because he’s so very busy at work”, but what I was actually greeted with when my ex dropped off the kids tonight was both sides of paper completed with the lines I had set our son, plus what the school had set him as work while he was suspended. He had apparently finished all of this by 2pm so my ex made him write out multiplication times tables until 3pm!

I was most impressed. Ohhhh not in any “ohhh look at my ex-husband” kind of way!! Trust me, my thoughts as far as that are concerned stay firmly in the “ewwwww!” camp. I can’t believe I was ever attracted to him and I know damned well that it was my thinking that “ugly blokes won’t cheat on me” that led me to date my ex-husband after my ex-ex … it was more that my ex actually bothered to take an active role in parenting HIS children. It was interesting to see.

My ex and I had quite an interesting phone conversation tonight. I’d said to AP earlier that I thought possibly that my ex’s relationship with his new girlfriend was over based on something he’d said about not being sure what he was doing for Christmas… and during the conversation I had with my ex – he confirmed that it was over I’ll admit part of me did a little silent dance because I am secretly happy that my ex is alone again … but part of me really does feel for him.

I almost got the impression that my ex was trying to flirt with me over the phone, so I changed the subject back to our son and we hung up not long after the subject change.

I am NOT INTERESTED IN MY EX. That is so long gone that the thought of even going there makes me feel physically sick. I am so totally and utterly in love with AP that even if my ex were a more tempting prospect .. I still wouldn’t be interested on  a physical OR emotional level!

AP and I have had the m0st amazing 24 hours over our Weds night together … and if anybody asks me what the big bolt screwed into my ceiling is for … then I will tell them with a very straight face … it’s for hanging things on

Am I a bitch for being happy that my ex’s relationship didn’t work out? Should I feel bad for wanting to say “I told you so” when my ex wanted to tell the children about his new girlfriend and I considered it waaaaaaaaay tooooooo soooooon?! Am I happy and living life with a great big grin???? YOU BETCHA!!!

It was twelve forty-seven by the dashboard clock; no interior lights glowed in the house. The porch light was dark. When Rachel turned off the headlights, only the street lamp cut the darkness. She killed the engine and coasted into the driveway, hoping her father was not home, or already asleep. She leaned against the car door until it latched quietly, then crept into the house.

“You’re late,” Steve said in her ear as he flipped on the foyer light. The keys clattered on the tile floor and Rachel swallowed half a scream. The rest came out as a plaintive whimper; she sagged against the door for support and took a deep breath.

“You scared the crap out of me!”

“Where have you been? It’s one in the morning.” He ignored her remark. His voice was calm, but he folded his arms across his chest and narrowed his eyes.

“I, um, I went for a drive.” Her heart was still pounding, her mouth was dry, and her knees were shaking. The sudden light was blinding; she was disoriented and off guard, which was probably the point.

“Kate said you left around nine. You drove around for almost four hours?”

Rachel fixed her eyes on her keys, afraid to pick them up, afraid to move. With one long stride, her father closed the distance, standing centimeters away from her, millimeters. She tried to step backward, but the door stopped her. Very reluctantly, she met his stare.

“You’ve been drinking.” It was a statement, not a question, so Rachel said nothing. Like a palm tree in a hurricane, she could only hope she wouldn’t break in the path of his anger; bending was inevitable. He stood there for a full minute, just looking at her, the calm before the storm. “We’ll discuss this in the morning when you’re sober.” Finally, he picked up her key-ring and turned away. Rachel could only stand there, not sure it was over. He hadn’t even yelled at her yet. Steve turned back and tossed the keys to Rachel, who caught them reflexively. The key to the Mustang was missing.

*****

The next morning, her father was waiting for her when she came downstairs. Rachel braced herself for the explosion she expected, but all he said was, “Morning,” as he looked over the top of the newspaper. With a little sigh that was only partly relief – because she knew she was still in trouble – Rachel made a cup of instant coffee and sat at the table.

A palpable silence grew between them, broken only by the rustling of the newspaper pages as he turned them. Rachel reached for a section of the paper and pretended to read. She could not escape the inevitable confrontation, but she would not initiate it; she would say nothing until her father made the first move. After about ten minutes, he finally did.

“Why don’t you tell me what happened last night?”

“I did tell you. I went for a drive,” Rachel responded in an even tone.

“For four hours.”

“Well, I stopped by Joel’s for a while.”

“I see,” said her father. “And did Joel’s parents give you booze? Do they let him drink? They think that’s okay?”

Biting back a sharp retort, she took a deep breath to dissipate her annoyance. If she was sarcastic, or fought him in any way, she would only get in more trouble. “No, that wasn’t it at all. Joel’s parents weren’t home. And I bought some beer before I went over there,” she answered, hoping he would accept the small lie – she didn’t want to tell him she was drinking hard liquor. Somehow, she knew that would upset him more. “We split a six-pack, Dad, it’s not like I was drunk or anything.”

“Hold on. You’re sixteen years old, Rachel, you shouldn’t be drinking at all. It doesn’t matter if it’s a six-pack of beer or a case of scotch. You can get arrested, spend the night in juvie. The charge is minor in possession of alcohol. Did you know I could be sued if anything happens while you are breaking the law? So don’t tell me you weren’t drunk, because it’s irrelevant. What matters is you aren’t supposed to drink. Period.”

“I’m sorry,” responded Rachel meekly.

Her father held up a hand and continued as if she hadn’t spoken. “And it isn’t okay to drive when you’ve been drinking, despite what you think you know. Alcohol is a depressant. The very first beer affects your system. You might not feel drunk after two beers, but your reflexes are slowed. That’s how people get killed.” He stopped abruptly.

Rachel could only stare at him, appalled. How many times did you drive home? How many times did you park the car in the yard and pass out on the couch? And you never got in a wreck. You should have. It should have been you. She bit her cheek to keep the words in; she tasted blood on her tongue.

After a moment, Steve said, “I’m keeping your car keys for a week.”

“Okay. Fine, whatever.” Her tongue pushed between her teeth and she bit down hard again. She pushed her chair back from the table.

“I’m not finished.”

“What?” Her bangs fell in her eyes and she tossed her head to shake them back.

“Your aunt said you were upset when you left. What happened?”

“She didn’t tell you?” When Steve shook his head, she said, “I’d rather straighten it out with her, if you don’t mind.”

Steve caught her gaze and held it before he said, “Okay, Rachel. Just be sure you do straighten it out.”

“Is that it?”

“Yes, that’s it. End of lecture. I’ll let you know if I think of something to add,” he said, smiling.

“I’m sure you will,” Rachel muttered.

“What did you say?”

“I said okay. No problem, Dad.”

*****

Without wheels, Rachel was forced to walk to school the next week, which was humiliating in itself. Plus, she had to spend her evenings at home with her father, which was unbearable. She didn’t dare ask to borrow her father’s car. He hadn’t mentioned it, but she knew that she was restricted not only from her car, she was just plain restricted. Resigned to her fate, Rachel spent her afternoons doing her homework and her evenings in her room, sneaking drinks and watching television. The week was a prison sentence.

With the extra time on her hands and nothing to do, Rachel’s room was soon cleaner than it had ever been and she rearranged the furniture twice before putting it all back in the original positions. She was filled with a restless energy that she didn’t know what to do with. The plastic bag of black beauties was still in her purse, but Rachel had no desire for them now; she was like a caged animal, restless and irritable.

Joel called early in the week and she talked to him for over an hour, hungry for human contact. Jenny and Rachel had not spoken since their argument and Rachel missed her. Susan was a drug connection, not a friend. At school, Jenny and Dan had been her gang, her clique, and she hadn’t needed anyone else. It hurt too much to think about Dan, but he was always lurking at the edges of her memory.

As soon as Joel’s voice came through the receiver, Rachel felt better – unknowingly, Joel tossed her a lifeline. Stretching out on her bed, she made herself comfortable and told him what happened Saturday night. Everything. “She was just trying to help me and I made a total fool of myself. I can’t believe I accused her of having an affair with my dad. I didn’t mean to say it, it just came out.” She glanced at the bedroom door. As far as she knew, her father still didn’t know what had happened and Rachel didn’t want him to know.

“Wow. That’s pretty intense. So they’re … what? Dating?” Joel asked incredulously.

“I don’t know, Joel. They both say they’re just friends, but I think it’s weird. They sure act like they’re dating.”

“Wow,” Joel said again. “Can’t even imagine that one.”

“My aunt is so cool; we get along great. That’s why I feel so bad about it.”

“Then just apologize to her. Tell her what you’ve been telling me.”

“You’re so easy to talk to. I like that about you,” Rachel admitted. Thinking about the night they met, she laughed and added, “You know, I wasn’t sure I liked you when we first met.”

“No way! You’re kidding, right? I’m an extremely likable guy,” he retorted.

“Yeah, really. I like you now, though.”

“Well, at least you learn from your mistakes,” he responded, making her giggle again. “Are you going to be grounded this weekend?”

“I didn’t ask, but I’m sure I am. This is driving me nuts. It’s not like I did anything bad. I mean, I was less than an hour late. I sure hope my car never breaks down – he would probably take my firstborn for that,” said Rachel sarcastically.

Joel laughed with her and then had a sudden inspiration. “Wait a second. You’re grounded from your car and from leaving the house, right? Are you allowed visitors? Even hard-core criminals get to have visitors.”

“He didn’t mention, but I’m sure that only means he didn’t think of it.”

“Why don’t I come over tomorrow? I won’t stay long, you won’t get busted. I could pick you up from school if you want. Hate for you to have to walk.”

“Would you really? That would be great, Joel.”

“Good. If I can’t take you out this weekend, I’d at least like to see you if I can. Besides, it’s partly my fault you’re in trouble.”

“That’s true. You owe me big time!” Rachel accused, trying to sound harsh, but she couldn’t keep the smile out of her voice.

“Then I’ll see what I can do to make your confinement more tolerable.”

“That would be a good trick, if you can do it. I hate this. I’m trying to be cool about it, because if my dad knew how much it bothered me, he would ground me for the rest of my natural life.”

“Hey, it will be over before you know it.”

“Yeah, right.”

His laughter echoed in her ear. “Man, Rachel, you are such a pessimist! Cheer up, will you? I’ll see you tomorrow, okay.”

“I’ll be here. Where else am I going to go?” she replied despondently, but she was smiling again.

*****

Making her way between the cars in the school parking lot, Rachel was treated with a cacophony of stereos – all tuned to different stations. The noise receded slightly as she neared the building and Rachel sighed with relief. Her head was pounding and she hadn’t gotten much sleep the night before. Pausing to light a cigarette, she scanned the crowd gathered in front of the gym doors, looking for Susan, but didn’t see her.

A thin cloud of gray smoke hovered over the students in the chill morning air. Rachel was early, so only a dozen kids gathered around, but they were all smoking something. The familiar scent of marijuana drifted toward her and she followed her nose to a small group by the wall. Surrounded by four other guys, a kid Rachel only vaguely recognized was selling. Dressed in the requisite jeans and leather jacket, his dirty brown hair hung in his eyes as he conducted business from his little corner. Inching her way forward, Rachel benefited him with her best smile and patiently waited her turn.

“Got a joint, man?” asked the boy standing next to her. He looked stoned already, his eyes bloodshot and his speech slurred.

“No shit,” said the dealer as he shook the plastic bag he was holding. It was filled with joints. “How many you want?”

“Couple. Two. How much?” the customer asked nervously. Acne sprinkled his face and Rachel took a step backward to get away from him. She could smell his sour breath.

“Ten bucks.”

“No way. For two joints?”

“You heard me. That’s the price. End of story.” The dealer turned away, shrugging his jacket tighter around his shoulders. Two of the other boys laughed quietly, lazily, but they were staring at the kid. Rachel could tell they were getting impatient.

“Okay, okay. Wait.” He dug in his pocket and pulled out a five dollar bill. “This is all I’ve got,” he whined.

The dealer plucked the bill from him and handed him a joint. “Then this is all you get. Enjoy.” The three of them laughed as the kid scurried away and then the dealer turned to Rachel. “Hi, what can I help you with?” he asked, suddenly smiling and friendly.

“Um, how about a joint?” she asked, her voice shaking a little.

“Sounds good to me,” he replied and reached into the bag. He lit the cigarette, took a deep drag and handed it to Rachel. Surprised and unsure what to do, she accepted it with a questioning glance. “Go ahead. Try it out. If you don’t like it, it’s free.”

Shrugging, she took a drag, pulling the smoke into her lungs and holding it. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Susan approaching and she waved as she handed the joint back. The residue from the pot was sweet on the tip of her tongue and she exhaled slowly, enjoying the taste. “Not bad,” Rachel judged. “How about a couple of them?”

“No problem. Five bucks.”

Rachel cocked her eyebrow and said, “I thought it was ten bucks.”

“That was for him. For you, it’s five.” He smiled at her with yellowing teeth and Rachel hid a grimace as she handed him a five dollar bill and received two joints in return.

“Thanks. And thanks for the hit.”

“See ya around,” the dealer said, taking another drag off the joint he still held.

Rachel joined Susan along the wall and lit the joint, placing the other in her cigarette pack. “How’s it going?” she asked, holding the smoldering cigarette toward Susan, who accepted it eagerly.

“Much better now, thanks. I was up half the night studying for that English test.”

“English test?” Rachel looked stunned. “What are you talking about?”

“Um, there’s a test today. Murphy mentioned it about ninety times last week, and she reminded us about thirty times this week.”

“No way,” Rachel groaned. “I forgot all about it. Over The Fountainhead, right?” When Susan nodded, Rachel sighed with relief. “Maybe I can wing it, that was one of my favorite books. I should be okay. I hope.” Rachel took another deep drag off the joint and then pinched it out between her fingers.

“I can’t believe you actually liked that book. It was the most boring thing I’ve ever read – nothing happens. It was so boring I couldn’t get through it. That’s why I was up late last night, trying to skim the rest of it so I would at least have a clue.”

“You can safely give up on that, Susan.”

“Give up on what?”

“Having a clue.” Rachel ignored Susan’s indignant screech and scanned the parking lot, watching cars vie for the best parking spaces. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Dan’s Monte Carlo enter the lot and her gaze followed him as he pulled into a space near the building. It wasn’t the cool place to park, but Dan had never cared much about being cool, she thought with a pang. Susan saw where Rachel was looking and gave her a sympathetic smile.

“Still hung up on him, huh?” she asked quietly.

“No,” came the sharp response. Turning to her friend, she made herself smile and said more calmly, “Not at all.” Feeling very mellow from the joint, she grinned and lit another cigarette. “Besides, I’m kind of going out with someone else.” Susan’s look of admiration made her smile wider. “Remember that guy I told you about? The one who gave me the weed?”

“Get out of here! You are too much, Rachel, I swear. You’ve got guys everywhere. I don’t supposed you’d care to pass along my phone number, would you?”

“Yeah, right. But at least you’ll get a chance to meet Joel today. He’s picking me up after school.”

Susan just shook her head as Rachel laughed and they walked into the building together. In the main lobby, they went in separate directions, Susan to her locker and Rachel her history class. As she walked into the room, thinking about Joel, Rachel was still smiling.

"If I clean this toilet I can have a beer tonight."

I’m constantly amazed at how challenging it is to be an adult. It’s like everyday there’s something new I have to do that won’t get taken care of unless I actually take the initiative to do it.

I’ve basically had to turn into a parent for myself in order to get anything done. I remind myself to do things repeatably even though I heard myself the first time, I nag myself incessantly to do gross chores around the apartment, and I even discipline and reward myself with a behavior chart I keep on the fridge. Five gold stars mean I can go out for happy hour on Friday.

I’ve recently put myself in time-out (spent all day on the couch watching whatever Sandra Bullock movie TBS plays) for breaking curfew and I’ve lectured myself about not taking vitamins when I started sniffling last week. I’m at the point that I think my actual mother feels left out when she calls because I’ve already covered her territory. She calls expecting an opportunity to nurture (tell me what to do) and instead she gets a co-parent complaining about misbehavior and paying the cable bill on time.

While I’ve enjoyed being a parent to myself and ending each night with a warm glass of milk and Goodnight Moon, I’ve started to wonder when I will transition from being a faux-adult to being a real one.

Will I ever take care of myself just because I want to or will I spend the rest of my life threatening myself to either eat broccoli or suffer the consequences (No Hulu in bed)? Does scrubbing the toilet ever get exciting or will it always be something I’ll do while gagging and whining? When will I feel compelled to change my sheets on a regular basis and not just when I spill cereal on them?

I don’t know. Hopefully not soon because I’m really enjoying earning gold stars on my discipline chart (finished all my work for today = 2.5 stars). And I’m really looking forward to treating myself on mother’s day – after all being a parent is hard work and it will be nice to get a day dedicated to myself.

Ah, guess who’s grounded again? Well my mom found out about the whole co-ed thing. She wasn’t so angry about that and that is not the reason I am grounded. I am grounded because I have… bad grade…s. Not good.

I have to fix all of this up, but until then, I have no phone. No twittering D:

Well, I got grounded again for grades, so if you read this, please spread the message onto anyone that you know so that people know why I’ll be inactive. I’ll try to sneak on as much as possible. Just like before. Short blog post, but to the point. See you online in 4 weeks….If I bring my grades up…

The article is in the UK Telegraph. (H/T MercatorNet via ECM, Big Blue Wave)

Excerpt:

The leader of Britain’s Jewish community claimed the continent’s population is in decline because people care more about shopping than the sacrifice involved in parenthood.

He blamed atheist “neo-Darwinians” for Europe’s low birth rate and said religious people of all denominations are more likely to have large families.

[...]The Chief Rabbi warned that secular Europe is at risk, however, because its moral relativism can easily be defeated by fundamentalists.

And he claimed that its population is also in decline, compared with every other part of the world, because non-believers lack shared values of family and community that religions have.

Lord Sacks said: “Parenthood involves massive sacrifice of money, attention, time and emotional energy.

“Where today in European culture with its consumerism and instant gratification – because you’re worth it – where will you find space for the concept of sacrifice for the sake of generations not yet born?

“Europe, at least the indigenous population of Europe, is dying.”

“That is one of the unsayable truths of our time. We are undergoing the moral equivalent of climate change and no one is talking about it.

I blogged about the UK’s looming demographic crisis previously.

So the Chief Rabbi seems to be in agreement with my views on atheism and morality. Logically speaking, atheism simply doesn’t meet any of the minimum requirements for rational morality. The problem for atheism is that the decision to commit to a marriage for life and to have children involves massive self-sacrifice. But on atheism, life is just about having happy feelings before you die – so they cannot rationally ground the decision to marry and procreate.

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