Has your penchant for shopping gone into over-drive? Our guest blogger Caroline knows the feeling all too well! Find out how she’s getting on with curbing her spending habit in her self-appointed challenge – no shopping for the month of May.

1. Unsubscribe from all email updates from regular online shopping sites.  Update your Facebook status and tell your friends what you’re doing to garner support.  This way you have people to be accountable to – I even gained a challenge partner by doing this!

2.  Don’t buy / read magazines which are going to showcase the season’s “hottest new looks”. 

And Happy Mother’s Day, Mom. Thanks for not naming me Phone. Or Orangaide (pronounced “Or-an-gu-dee” if you please. And yes, this is someone’s actual name.Orangaide probably has a fantastic wit.)

I think I have the best kids in the world.  This letter was written to President Obama by my youngest son for last year’s Mother’s Day (2012).  He was only 8.  I still love this letter and thought it will be appropriate to share it this Mother’s Day. 

Hope you enjoy it as much as I do……and Happy Mother’s Day!

Dear President Obama,

May 11, 2012

My name is Joshua Lee and I live in Bethlehem, Pennsylvania. I need to tell you something very important. I came up with this great idea of Grace Kim Day celebrated on May 4^th. It might sound silly but I think it’s creative.

On a hot summer day, I was born and my mom became the best mom ever. She always drove me and my brother to violin and she takes good care of me. When I was younger she signed me up for soccer and basketball so I have things to do every week.

On Grace Kim Day we will see fireworks that shape a heart and we will go to jewelry stores since my mom’s addicted to jewelry. People will take walks in the woods and see beautiful things.

click to enlarge. he is either being really sweet or being real lazy…..

After that, they could play a soccer scrimmage and eat at a Korean Restaurant to have delicious food. Finally, at the end of the day, you would give a back massage to your loved one so they could relax and sleep.

President Obama, if you make this a holiday for my mom, people will buy the things so business won’t run down.

People will also become healthier because they will play soccer and their heart will beat faster. Also, people will feel delighted to see the scenery and people will have a good time falling asleep because of the massage.

If you accept this holiday, my mom will feel special and proud of me. She would know how important she is to me.

Sincerely,

Your pal, Joshua Lee

[read also:  Autobiography, Minecraft &  Excited for Hawaii]

____________________________________________________________________

Joshua is in grade 4 at LVA.  He plays soccer and basketball. He loves to play the violin, piano, and read fiction.

(Photo Credit: Dwight Morita)

Buying a self-improvement book is not difficult now. You can just have a look in the market and you may find numerous such books adorning the shelves of bookstores around the world. Considering the huge competition in every field today, people want to get successful and compete with each other as fast as they can. Self-improvement books help you to develop an all-round personality. If you really wish to get the information on the topics of your interest, then you need to search a suitable book for yourself. The book you buy should be easy and reasonable to understand.

While buying such a book, your thought process should be clear on the exact information you are looking for. Without being clear, you can’t choose the most suitable book for yourself and would rather waste money in buying something else which gives no benefit at all. Reading such books will motivate you to lead your life with confidence and to achieve the desired goals. Many people have lots of dreams and goals but they are unaware of how to reach those goals and fulfill those dreams. These books help them to make a plan of action to reach them.

Achieving your desired dreams and setting goals is actually a difficult task if you don’t have a mentor. One needs proper guidance for it and that’s where these books come handy. Many of us have questions about life, careers, relations, personalities and much more. These books help us a great deal in finding the answers to them efficiently.

Such books are available in all languages written by many well-known authors. There are so many authors around that we end up getting confused on who’s the best one. So we need to check on which is the most preferred author among the readers and then go for it.

Contributed by:
Durgesh Bang likes to read and write non-fiction books which are useful in our life to achieve success, bring happiness and for self improvement and personality development to achieve desired goals.

Reblogged from theperegrinelife:

• 

On Tuesday I sat in the Korogwe house catching up on some American television acquired from one of my friends as a reward for getting our fundraising page up and running. I was hot - hotter than I had a right to be given the rain that was pounding out a tattoo on our tin roof. Korogwe in the rain is almost enough to make me think I’ll miss Korogwe when I’m gone.

Read more… 627 more words

Interview Preparation : Are You Doing Enough?

Are You Underselling Yourself at Interview?

DIY Experience: Need experience but no one will give you a break?

Why being selective is the way to get ahead in the job market.

 

 Love and Danger … in the Kitchen: a guest blog from author Kate Meader

Thanks to Sarah for hosting and allowing me to chat about Feel the Heat, the first in my Chicago-set Hot in the Kitchen series about an Italian restaurant-owning family and the sexy, sizzling chefs who love them. I was initially hesitant about approaching Sarah because her books are so kick-ass awesome and usually involve guns, secrets, and so much suspense you might expire from the tension. How can my sexy, funny, foodie romance possibly measure up to the high-level life and death stakes that Sarah does so brilliantly?

Well, it probably can’t but I’m going to give it the old college try

So you might be forgiven for thinking restaurant kitchens are filled with like-minded, food-loving individuals who have a special camaraderie unique to the close quarters of a steam-filled environment. Sure they are but they are also hotbeds of intrigue and smoldering tensions. Table 12 never got their appetizers! The steak was supposed to be medium rare, not medium! That cheese soufflé’s looking a touch flaccid… Kitchen disasters are usually poised to strike at every turn, but I give it an extra twist in Feel the Heat, which unfolds against the backdrop of a highly-rated televised cooking contest. Dropped utensils! Sabotaged dishes! Uninvited guests with secrets! Exclamation points ratchet up the tension! Suspenseful? You don’t know the half of it.

Speaking of danger (weren’t we speaking of danger?), there’s nowhere more dangerous than a fast-paced professional kitchen. Brave chefs risk burns and bad hair days to get amazing meals before hungry punters. But the chefs aren’t the only ones jeopardizing their well-being. Cream and butter might be the classically-trained chef’s tools, but they are also his weapons—that’s right, the customers aren’t safe either! Every night in the fanciest establishments, the sound of hardening arteries echoes through the dining rooms as soon as customers slip those Diver scallops in beurre blanc sauce past their lips. Take that, romantic suspense lovers!

Finally, sexy, alpha chef Jack Kilroy, hero of Feel the Heat is as adept as any NYPD cop or FBI agent at making Lili DeLuca’s heart beat dangerously fast. This guy pulls out all the stops to get her to see beyond his tabloid-crafted image. He cooks up orgasmic meals. He feeds her with goat cheese salted caramel gelato (recipe here). He seduces her with food and shows her no mercy. She resists. He’s too famous, too good-looking, too everything. But he also gets her and shows her that maybe it’s time she paid more attention to her own needs—and took a leap of faith with him.

Lili’s heart is in danger … and the stakes don’t get higher than that.

FEEL THE HEAT by Kate Meader

Hot in the Kitchen, Book 1

IF YOU CAN’T STAND THE HEAT . . .

Photographer Lili DeLuca spends all her time managing her family’s Italian restaurant, instead of following her dream of getting an MFA. When famous British chef Jack Kilroy unexpectedly challenges her father to a cook-off, Lili decides she’s tired of playing it safe and vows to seduce the tempting Brit. But once a video of her and Jack kissing goes viral and her luscious butt starts trending on Twitter, Lili fears she’s cooked up a recipe for disaster.

. . . GET INTO THE BEDROOM

Jack Kilroy’s celebrity has left him feeling used and used up. While Lili’s oh-so-sexy moans when she tastes his delicious creations turn him on, he’s even more aroused by how unimpressed this beautiful, funny woman is with his fame. He knows they could be amazing together, if she could only see past his bitch fork-wielding fan base. Now, as he’s about to start a new prime time TV cooking show, can Jack convince Lili to realize her own ambitions – and turn up the heat in his kitchen?

Find it @ Amazon | Barnes & Noble 

About Kate

Kate Meader writes contemporary romance that serves up delicious food, to-die-for heroes, and heroines with a dash of sass. Originally from Ireland, she cut her romance reader teeth on Catherine Cookson and Jilly Cooper novels, with some Mills & Boons thrown in for variety. Give her tales about brooding mill owners, oversexed equestrians, and men who can rock an apron, and she’s there. She has a bachelor’s in law (useless), a master’s in history (not as useless), and another master’s in library and information science (yay, using). When not writing about men who cook and the women who drool over them, she works in an academic library. Her stories are set in her adopted home town of Chicago, a city made for food, romance, and laughter – and where she met her own sexy hero. For news, excerpts, and recipes, check out her website at http://www.katemeader.com.

Links
Contact: kate.meader@gmail.com

Website | Facebook | Twitter: @kittymeader | Goodreads | Blogs

Giveaway Details

During the Feel the Heat release tour, I am giving away foodie-related swag: one Grand Prize and five smaller prize packs! Details and pics on my website.

Click here to go directly to the rafflecopter to enter the giveaway.

Sarah here: ERMAGERD! Amazing prizes, you guys. Go check them out! And seriously, you need to read this book. Kate is awesome, and not only because she managed to give me a killer slew of compliments AND work the word flaccid into the conversation, though neither event hurts my opinion, lol! Seriously, Kate, I am positively *blushing* and possibly drooling. I can’t wait to dig into this book!

AWESOME SWAG! Enter via rafflecopter link above.

I’ve thought a lot about why many writers and illustrators, me included, hate the promotion part of the book business. I’ve decided it’s because when we draw attention to our books, stories, or artwork, we feel like we’re bragging somehow. For me, it’s not about “look at what I’ve done,” so much as inviting readers to enter the fantastical worlds I’ve created. It’s about telling a story around a campfire and having people listen.

And so, with an eye to promotion, I invited you to visit a few guest blogs and interviews I’ve done recently:

Thanks to romance writer, Allison Merritt, for inviting me to guest post Speculative Romance: http://havenovelwilledit.blogspot.com/2013/03/guest-post-vonnie-winslow-crist.html

Thanks to fantasy author, Jennifer Allis Provost, for inviting me to guest post Where the Magic Begins: http://jenniferallisprovost.blogspot.com/2013/04/where-magic-begins-by-vonnie-winslow.html

Thanks to the wonderful author, Jaleta Clegg, for interviewing me on her blog: http://jaletaclegg.blogspot.com/2013/04/author-interview-vonnie-winslow-crist.html

Thanks to fantasy author, J. Michael Squatrito, Jr. for inviting me to guest post Location Matters in Fantasy: http://theoverlords.blogspot.com/2013/05/a-guest-blog-with-vonnie-winslow-crist.html

 And last, but certainly not least, thank you to Douglas R. Cobb for interviewing me for The New Yorker Times (and asking very specific questions about The Enchanted Skean): http://newyorkertimes.com/2013/05/vonnie-winslow-crist-interview/

I hope you’ll read and enjoy the interviews and guest posts, and I hope I get more comfortable doing book promotion!

This is a short story by my 16 year old nephew about his personal experience of life, death and dying. 

The Hospital Room and Other Places To Die

by:  Matthew Bu

I was sitting quietly in a beige Honda, gazing out the window where trees and autumn leaves flew by like comets bursting through the somber night sky. “We’re going to see your grandma at the hospital,” my mom said, “she’s unwell.” A memory flashed in my head, a memory of my grandma collapsing to the floor. When she woke up, she was in a daze, unable to speak properly. I shut my eyes trying to forget that terrible memory. I asked softly, “Will she live?” My mom stalled a bit. “No…it’s terminal,” she responded.

As I entered the room, the pungent smell of people silently waiting to die overcame my senses. The room was illuminated by a dim, humming light and the peeling walls were bleak white. Flower pots and get well cards cluttered the tops of cabinets. Out in front of us was a bed where my grandma lay. She had a bandana wrapped tightly around her head which hid her falling hair. Her complexion was fine, but she looked fatigued.

From my side, my mom rushed towards her, trying to comfort her, fixing her bed sheets, fluffing her pillow, massaging her body, all whilst crying within her sleeve. My mom started sobbing to my grandma in Korean. I didn’t want to get emotional and start tearing up too, so I quickly left the room and entered the hallway.

The terminal illness wing was barren, but I wondered — maybe it was inhabited with the ghosts of those who had died in this miserable place. I slouched down on a red chair located right beside the door. The hallway was plastered white just like the room, as if the hospital designers were trying to make this wing seem as if it was a pleasant, peaceful place, but I knew otherwise.

I  tried to sleep, but I couldn’t help but overhear my mom’s dialogue with my grandma. “How are the nights here?” “I hate them…that delusional woman keeps talking to herself… It scares me.” I looked back into the room and saw my grandma pointing to a silhouette on a semi-transparent curtain that divided patients from each other.

There was a small, frail innocuous Indian woman lying in the bed behind the curtain. She had a bindi, fixed delicately amidst the middle of her forehead and her silver hair was pulled back tightly in a bun. No one was sitting in a chair beside her despite that it was visiting times. She started babbling in cryptic messages, waving her hands and showing emotion as if she were talking to someone there — but there was no one, just her fading shadow and the hospital air.

Something struck me when I saw her, however. Here lay a woman who was paralyzed, unable to do anything except talk and wave her hands, but she probably had aspirations, dreams, people to live for and people to care for. I thought about what her life was like. I envisioned her as a single mother, standing at a packed immigration center. Her two children were held within her arms and she was begging the immigration officer to let her enter Canada in hopes for a better future. When she arrived in the country, she opened up a small store to put food on the table, but funds were always lacking. The landlord was fed up with her ruses and lies, so she begged to her gods for help. Somehow she was able to send her children to a good university, but in return she was evicted from her apartment. She spent the next few years as a derelict on the streets; her hand, which was holding an empty cup, shook like a violent tremor as she begged people for spare change.

One day she suffered from a stroke, and when she woke up at the hospital, she received news of her terminal illness. So, since then, she would wake up in her bed, and continue to talk to the air while the knowledge that she would eventually end up die in this small hospital room slowly trickled down her mind. I thought about this story for a while. She didn’t have to die here. She could have married a rich mogul, living a life of abundance and pleasure, living a life of milk and honey, living a life of fine silks and glowing velvets, dying in a marble palace with a smile gleaming on her face. Or she could have peacefully passed away with her beautiful husband, children and grandchildren surrounding her bed; she had lived a long productive life where she achieved her dreams of teaching youth about Indian history and culture, or of becoming an iconic Bollywood actress, or maybe even becoming president of India.

She could have been a woman who sparked an Indian revolution for women’s rights. One day after gathering a group of female protestors for a women’s rights rally, she was shot through her skull. Her comrades would bury her a few days later with an Indian flag draped over her coffin. Soon after she would become the face behind this revolution, a face of freedom and equality. You couldn’t go one day without seeing her name graffitied outside of Indian slums or deteriorating brick walls. But here she lay, not in a marble palace, not in a bed surrounded by loved ones, not in a coffin beneath the ground while others fought for what she had fought for, but in a hospital room with no one watching over her.

I realized something then. All the decisions we make and how we handle what life throws at us ultimately decides our death, where and how it happens. How the Indian woman handled life and what decisions she made ultimately led her into this room. I hope she didn’t regret anything.

My mom and I stayed at the hospital for a few more hours. I spent my time playing on my phone and sleeping while my mom talked with my grandma. Eventually we said our goodbyes and we left the hospital. My mom and I came back a few days later to checkup on my grandma. I noticed that the bed where the Indian woman was in was now empty — my grandma said she had died the night before.

[read also: My Sister's Birthday & Joshua Lee]

________________________________________________________________________

Matthew Bu is a grade 11 student at Upper Canada College, Toronto, Canada.  He is active in his community and writes for his school paper.

The talking trouble.

One thing that is mostly done against depression is talking, to either a psychiatrist, therapist or psychiatric nurse. Some people find it very pleasant to talk about their problems, I am not such a person. So what do you do when talking difficult?

1: information

when I first came to the psychiatrist and therapist, I had no idea what to expect or what would be expected of me. This made the whole thing a lot more scarier, many thoughts went through me. “do I have to tell everything about me?” “are my problems big enough?” “what will he/she think of me?”. “what if I can’t answer their questions ?”.

I will answer those questions now.

1 no, you only have to tell what you are comfortable to share, a relationship of trust between doctor/therapist/nurse and patient has to grow, he/she knows this too.

2 if something is bothering you it is important/big enough to talk about it. 3 these people are trained not to judge you and are ultimately there to help you and its good to keep in mind that they see a lot of people and heard a lot of story’s, you are not alone with these problems and there is always someone weirder then you. 4 then you say “I don’t know” or “I have to think about it”

it’s also good to be aware of the rules of confidentially where he/she is bound by, everything you say in therapy or with a doctor stays between you and him/her. There are exceptions to the rule, when you say anything that makes them believe you are a dangerous to yourself or anyone else they have to take action to ensure safety even if that means breaking confidentially.

Some countries have laws that say that they have to report abuse when the victim is someone who can’t protect themselves (like a child). It’s easy to find on the internet what the law says about that in your country.

When you are a child (under 18) its good to inform yourself about if and when your parents or legal guardians are informed. You can also talk to the therapist/doctor about what he/she will say if they do inform them.

You have rights as a patient and its good to look into them before you go for your first meeting, you will know where you stand.

2: questions

when you are with a therapist or doctor they like to ask a lot of questions but keep in mind that you can also question them, its important to understand what they are doing to help you and if something doesn’t make sense to you question them about it. If after the session you think of some things that don’t make sense, write them down to ask about it next time.

3 : pen and paper.

Talking about problems, especially emotional problems is not easy and sometimes you just cant say what you want to let them know. It’s okay to write these things down either before or even during the session and let them read it. In the beginning I always had a letter with me with the things I wanted to talk about. It is a good way to get the conversation started and let them know what is important for you at that time.

My therapist and psychiatrist even let me email them when being in the same room when they are reading the letter is too scary.

4. you’re the boss

its good to know that if you are an adult your therapist/doctor can’t do anything without your consent (if you are a child its your parents/guardians consent they need). The only exceptions to the rule is if you’re or anyone else’s safety is in danger and even then they need a judge to sign off on it.

Also in the conversation the doctor/therapist will follow your lead, so you decide about what you talk but you also decide if you don’t want to talk about something or if you had enough for that session, you are not obligated to fill the hour.

5. when it doesn’t click switch

therapist and doctors are also just people and there are no two alike. You can for example have 5 very good doctors and feel more comfortable with one then the others, they also have their own style and it doesn’t always match your needs. So if you don’t feel good with one, see if you can go to another. They also know that and understand that it just doesn’t always click and won’t feel personally offended by that you want to switch.

All this doesn’t make it easy to talk but maybe just a bit more manageable. I think everyone is a bit scared when they have to talk about the most personal feelings, you feel vulnerable and that is very understandable. But even when talking is difficult as it is for me, it can feel good to let it out and have someone who understands you and that makes it worth the effort.

1. Reaching out personally to friends, family and fans is ESSENTIAL.

The first half of my funding that came in the first three days of my campaign launch was solely due to personal messages I sent via gChat, gMail, Facebook, LinkedIn, Twitter and Goodreads utilizing direct messaging. It might feel strange initially to send what could be construed as solicitations to people you may not have actually seen or spoken to outside of the Internet in years – but it pays off. It can also help reconnect you with those people.

For authors, utilize your Author Page on Facebook to reach out to fans personally in this way as well. They’ll feel connected to you and will be more likely to donate with that first-person touch point.

Also, while updating your status on Facebook and tweeting about your project is important, most times these updates can get lost in the feeds of your followers with all of the other updates coming through. You might think that posting 5+ times a day is enough, but I found that even with public updates, when I reached out to individuals, they were unaware I had a Kickstarter going on. This is why personal messages are all the more important.

I sent out 1,000+ personal messages within the first week and a half of my campaign – and then I retraced my steps to retouch those who didn’t answer my first message. This also proved to be important as some of those who got my first message forgot to actually click through to my Kickstarter page or had gotten distracted and let my request go by; this second touchbase garnered in more funding in the second and third weeks of the campaign. Within the last three days of the campaign, I circled around yet again for a third, final touch to those I had still yet to hear back from. This proved effective once more, friends thanking me for the reminder and pledging in the final hours.

2. Talk about your Kickstarter until you’re blue in the face…and then talk some more.

By the end of the first week, I already felt like a broken record talking about my project – but I knew there were still plenty of people who didn’t know about it that I needed to reach. So, I kept talking. And emailing. And messaging. And tweeting. And blogging.

The experts don’t lie when they say that the first and last weeks of a campaign attract the most donations. By the second week, there was a big drop off in the frequency of donations coming in – but this just propelled me to keep publicizing the project all the more.

3. Reach out to blogs – and blog yourself!

I have had my previous books reviewed on a variety of book blogs in the past. I reached out to every single one to see if they could feature my Kickstarter project in any way. A few were reluctant to publicize such a request – but they were happy to feature an interview or guest blog about the book itself. Even such blog posts where Kickstarter wasn’t specifically mentioned helped me publicize my book more, which led to an increase in donations as well.

As a blogger for The Huffington Post, I also wrote up two different blogs in the hopes that they would be accepted – neither of which were TOO self-promotional, but did mention my Kickstarter at the end. Both ended up being published within hours of one another and definitely helped increase the publicity to a larger audience.

I would also recommend lining up about 10 blogs to feature your project, interview you or even review your book prior to launching your campaign. This will save you ample amounts of time reaching out to people once you’ve launched, freeing up time for other outreach activities.

4. The more creative your outreach, the better!

I created homemade bracelets in the colors of the Malawian flag (the country in which my book takes place) and offered them to backers of a certain threshold. I made flyers with a QR Code that went directly to my Kickstarter site and passed them out at cafés and local independent bookstores in my area.

I tried to spice things up a bit by creating new rewards mid-project to try to keep the initial momentum going — a tactic I HIGHLY RECOMMEND! For instance, once I hit $3,500, I posted an update letting everyone know that if we could get to $4,500 by the close of the campaign, I’d film myself making a traditional Malawian meal from scratch and send it to all backers. Once that goal was met, I set another stretch goal of $5,000, letting everyone know that if we hit or exceeded that amount, I would publish an eBook all backers would receive for free of several short stories and poems I’ve written over the years.

Just before we hit the last week, I sent an update to my current backers letting them know that a pledge increase of just $7 would get them a tote bag with my book cover on it. In the final week, I let backers and potential donors know that the next 10 people to donate at least $50 would receive an advanced reading copy of Vuto prior to release.

All of these mid-campaign rewards definitely led to more donations, as well as pledge increases.

I also made sure all of my social media platforms were leading people to my Kickstarter page. I updated my Twitter background to my book cover; added the cover to my Facebook banners; and my web designer was able to quickly turn around the following update to my website’s homepage, taking people right to my Kickstarter page by clicking on the bug in the corner of the below image:

5. Think about when you’re asking people to donate money.

My Kickstarter went live on Tuesday, April 9th – four days before most people would be getting paid. This being the case, several people I reached out to assured they would donate once they had their next paycheck in hand – yet that didn’t always happen. Despite the fact that funds aren’t taken out of anyone’s account immediately, people will be more willing to donate once they’ve been paid – think the first of the month or the 15^th of the month.

Also be sure to let people know that any money pledged won’t be taken out of their accounts unless the project is fully funded, and then only after the campaign has ended.

6. Don’t just keep tweeting out the link to your project; let people know what the project is about and give more details.

Reveal more tidbits about your writing process, the plotline of your novel, rewards you are offering, etc. Keep things new and interesting for those who are following your campaign closely, mixed in with messages regarding donation for those who are just seeing your tweet or update for the first time.

I highly recommend using the Project Updates you can send out via Kickstarter for this purpose. Backing projects myself, I’ve been surprised at how little this feature is utilized — but keeping your backers and potential backers apprised of what’s happening in your campaign, as well as providing more information, is quite important for retaining those backers and attracting new donations.

7. Figure out which hashtags will garner the attention of the audience you are looking to target with your project.

While there are some who feel as though blind-tweeting people using choice hashtags that speak to your project’s content is not a best practice – I’d beg to differ. I definitely got a handful of donations by targeting those on Twitter who were tweeting with hashtags like #peacecorps, #malawi, #africa, #womensfiction, #amreading and #amwriting – all topics related to my book. This tactic likely won’t garner an overflow of backers, but it could fill in some of the gaps.

8. Use the Kickstarter Status Board!

I wish I had known about this amazing tool much earlier on in my campaign, instead of when I did – with only 5 days left! Nevertheless, the Kickstarter Status Board is a must to determine where backers are coming from in order to tweak your outreach. You can download it into your browser’s toolbar, add your Kickstarter URL and continually check back to see your progress at any point.

9. Start a Facebook Event for the final 24-hour countdown.

Every hour on the hour for the last 24 hours of the campaign (minus when I was asleep), I updated the Event page with blogs that had picked me up over the last 30 days, interviews, images of the rewards and general updates regarding the current pledge level. This created even more excitement in the final hours of the campaign, and even led to some new pledges and pledge increases.

10. Make sure to update your page before the campaign ends.

Once the project has reached its deadline, you will not be able to update the main Kickstarter campaign page again. This page remains up and live online after the deadline, considering that you will be sending out surveys to backers regarding their rewards, as well as Project Updates as you fulfill those rewards and see your project through to completion. I updated my page the night before the end of my campaign, thanking all of my backers right at the top. I wanted that to be the message everyone who came back to the page in the days, weeks and months to come would see.

There will probably be even more to share as I continue this process, fulfilling rewards and completing the publication of Vuto. I hope the above will help others planning on Kickstarting or crowdfunding a project — fiction or otherwise!

Have you crowdfunded a project before? Do you have any additional tips or tricks to share? Please do so in the comments below!

Kindergarten: teacher, because I admired my teacher.
Fourth grade: famous author, because people praised my writing and why wouldn’t I believe I was good enough to be famous?
High school: lawyer, because writing isn’t a “realistic” career ambition, and I wasn’t as good as I’d once believed.
Post grad: No idea, but benefits and a living wage would be a good start.

When someone asks what you want to be, they’re really asking what you want to do. We make decisions about what we do in an attempt to be something else: financially secure, happy, respected, famous.

I’ve constantly changed my mind about what I want to do, but I’ve always wanted to be one thing: proud of myself.

This enigmatic, slippery state of being has proven impossible to grasp for more than a few moments at a time because it is a double edged sword. On one side, I’m looking to others to affirm me. I need someone else to tell me that who I am and what I’m doing is sufficient.

On the other side, my own standards are higher than anyone else’s. “Oh, you think I did a good job? Well, thanks, but I should have finished it earlier and let me point out the mistakes I made.”  

I’m writing in black and white here, but more often than not, I discount my achievements and place in the world until someone else affirms them, and then deflect the recognition when I do get it. It’s an exhausting, impossible quest, and I know I’m not alone.

At a time of unprecedented opportunity for women, my own experience leads me to believe that the greatest obstacle for women today is…ourselves.

Women continue to rise to leadership positions in almost every industry, proving their competence and value. It’s inspiring, but I can’t help but wonder: for every woman succeeding publicly and privately, how many intelligent potential influencers have we lost to their own insecurities? How many have believed the outdated script that their ideas are not worth sharing? How many have sold themselves short, waiting voluntarily in the wings without even trying out for the part?

My own self limiting beliefs have held me back personally more than any outside opposition. No legislation, corporate policy, or cultural enlightenment will make a difference if we don’t first believe in ourselves.

A note to myself, and you, too:

Your value doesn’t depend on what you accomplish. You have a lot to offer, but no one will know until you believe you are valuable and competent, that your ideas are worth sharing, that your skills and knowledge are beneficial to the people around you. Whether those people are your coworkers, husband, children, or friends, everyone is missing out when you live life as an apology instead of a statement.

Jacey Verdicchio loves good books and deep conversations. You can find her on her blog, The Balanced Wife, where she pursues exceptional living and often falls short. She lives with her husband, Michael, and dog, Jack.