Another week, another poll! This time, I’m not at all surprised by the results.

When asked who is your favorite Hogwarts professor, 43% of you responded McGonagall. While I don’t vote in the weekly polls, I said in a previous entry how much I adore McGonagall. She’s strict in the way you want a professor to be strict – she has rules, but she’s flexible and fair. More importantly, she cares deeply.

Following in quick succession with 30% of the vote is my personal second-choice: Lupin. Originally, I had the wrong idea about this guy. At first, I was convinced he was the bad guy. Then, I had this crazy idea that he was Crookshanks. But once I realized he is actually a really awesome (and harmless) guy who was honestly a good teacher (with no ulterior motive), I adored him – so did you, evidently. Though maybe you never suspected he was a cat.

Clocking in at a respectable 20% of the vote is Snape, which makes me think that my prediction that he is not as bad as they want us to believe in Half-Blood Prince may be accurate. That is, unless 20% of you like to root for the bad guy, in which case I don’t really know how to respond. You get on with your “bad-guy-rooting” selves!

Oddly, only one person voted for Hagrid – I anticipated a better showing. He’s not a great teacher, per say, but he is lovable nevertheless. I guess when compared to actually competent professors, however, he drops in the ranking.

And someone (((cough))) Doug (((cough))) voted for a professor who has not yet been introduced. Fair enough, but that implies that someone better than McGonagall AND Lupin is coming around the bend. Interesting. Could that be possible? Curious.

So there you have it – last week’s poll results in a nutshell.

Now on to the new poll (located in the sidebar, as per usual) – Which Hogwarts House would the Sorting Hat place you in? I’m not asking which is your favorite house. I’m asking which house are you best suited for, based on your own personality traits. Are you brave? Are you bright? Are you loyal? Are you an asshole? Be honest and choose accordingly.

See you on the flip side, Potter Heads!

The title’s pretty straightforward.

They stunned McGonagall?!?!?!

Yes, Hagrid has been forced to flee Hogwarts. Yes, Sirius is being tortured by Voldemort. BUT THEY STUNNED MCGONAGALL?

How can they stun McGonagall? That’s just asking for a whole world of hurt. That’s like kicking someone else’s grandmother…in the face!

Sack Trelawny. Drive out Dumbledore. Scare away Hagrid. Do as you will. But you do NOT stun Minerva McGonagall! You, sirs and ladies, have gone too far. Too far!

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The O.W.L.s remind me a bit too much of the SATs, except at no point during the SATs did I have to make an iguana disappear, unless I skipped that part.

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I have to be honest, I’m not really sure where to focus now. With Hagrid gone, the kids are stuck caring for Grawp. Sirius is clearly in a great deal of trouble and, from the looks of it, Voldemort is moments away from obtaining the weapon (whatever the weapon is). Harry is still able to connect with Voldemort’s thoughts, meaning the Occlumency classes were a complete bust. And oh yeah, did I mention THEY STUNNED MCGONAGALL?!?!

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Before I continue to freak out about the insane last few pages of Chapter 31, I think there’s a character who is due some extra attention. Throughout the series, Madame Pomfrey has been forced to put up with so much crap, it’s impressive she hasn’t quit yet. Every day, students show up in her ward with furry faces, missing bones, boil hexes, enlarging and shrinking body parts, growing teeth, gashes, bruises, hysteria – you kind of feel bad for her. Look at that face! That’s the face of a woman who is reconsidering her life choices. That face screams “If one more child comes in here with jelly legs or jelly fingers or jelly brains, I’m Avada Kedavraing myself!”

I didn’t guess that Voldemort was growing out of the back of Quirrell’s head, or that he was controlling Ginny as Tom Riddle. I couldn’t surmise that Scabbers was Wormtail or that Lupin was a werewolf. The fact that Barty Crouch Jr. had taken on the form of Mad-Eye Moody completely eluded me.

But damn it, I figured out what Grawp was!

See this? This is my celebratory fist pump. It means I’m AWESOME! (Just completely ignore the fact that I’ve gotten almost all of my other predictions wrong… That’s not important. I mean, it’s like those other predictions never even happened, right? What idiot guessed that Lupin was Crookshanks? Not me! No, no, not this avid clue sleuth…)

I’d say I was about 75% there on the whole Grawp thing two entries ago. I figured out that he was a giant and that he was probably being held in the Forbidden Forest against his will. I actually made it more complicated in saying that Hagrid was holding him as a bargaining chip with the other giants, when in reality he just felt bad for him because he is his brother. But I think that’s pretty good! I put all the clues together and came to a mostly-correct conclusion.

Granted, I still have no idea what the weapon is, but it’s the little things, folks. The little things…

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The weekly Poll will be closing tomorrow to make room for a new one. If you haven’t voted yet, look right, scroll down a little, and click a few buttons in the sidebar.

It’s like Christmas morning. The presents are all laid out under the tree, waiting to be opened. All you need to do is tear back the pretty green and red wrapping paper to find out what’s inside. Yet, you still take a moment to shake each package and take a guess, because guessing is half the fun.

Chapter 30 is next on the docket, waiting to be read. All I need do is fold back the pages to find out what’s been leaving Hagrid gashed and bruised. Yet, I can’t help but pause and take one last stab at what’s hidden in the Forbidden Forest.

From the adorable drawing at the beginning of the chapter, I can surmise that a Grawp (or Grawp, if that’s his name), is a fuzzy fella with big ol’ feet and Shrek-like ears. Perhaps Grawp is an ogre, though I suppose it’s more logical to say Grawp is a giant or a giant magical creature. But why is Grawp attacking Hagrid?

Maybe Hagrid is holding Grawp hostage in order to get the other giants to negotiate. Maybe Grawp isn’t attacking him at all, but instead he’s falling prey to the pissed off Centaurs.

Let me shake this Christmas present a little more.

If Grawp is a giant or a giant magical creature, what purpose does he serve Hagrid? If he’s not being held hostage (which is still a possibility), maybe he’s simply joined Dumbledore against Voldemort and left the other giants as a result. There seems to be plenty of magical beings finding themselves ostracized for supporting Dumbledore. Grawp may be the same.

Here’s the beauty of this: I’ll know the moment I read the chapter. Grawp, in all his fuzzy glory, will be explained and I will finally have at least one answer to my litany of questions concerningt his book.

Until then, I say Grawp is a giant or giant magical creature who is either being held hostage to force the giants to negotiate, or came of his own free will and is ready to support Dumbledore. If the first is true, Hagrid is torn to bits from fighting Grawp. If the latter is true, I’m blaming the Centaurs for Hagrid’s sorry state.

"OMG, being a teen wizard sux! I'm so mizunderstood! 4realz! WTF?"

Not to undermine the fact that Harry Potter has had an unusually difficult young life, what with being locked in a small closet for most of his childhood only to be released into a world where a mass murdering wizard sees him as the ultimate prize, but perhaps – just perhaps – he is bringing it a little on himself, at least in this fifth book. I know, I know – never blame the victim. But what if the victim is a 15-year-old  angst-ridden teen wizard who keeps bucking authority? Perhaps a little blame is in order. Just a little?

Yes, he had every right to use magic to ward off the dementors. Yes, he was brought before the Ministry of Magic on trumped-up charges. Yes, it was a bit unusual that Dumbledore completely ignored him for most of the year. Yes, he had every right to be a bit perturbed that Umbridge forced him to carve up his own hand. But let’s stop there and look at the whole Umbridge situation.

In my group of friends, we have a policy in which you “Never poke the crazy”. If someone is clearly emotionally unstable or potentially dangerous, do not provoke them.

Harry Potter keeps poking the crazy. Sure, stand up the first day of Defense Against the Dark Arts and point out the deficiencies in the curriculum. Just don’t keep doing it. Okay, form an extracurricular Defense Against the Dark Arts club to supplement the insufficient class. Just don’t allow it to be named Dumbledore’s Army when you know that’s the thing the Ministry of Magic fears the most and don’t meet in a public place to discuss its formation. Maybe half of Harry’s problem is he listens to Hermiones cockamamy schemes when they’re clearly dangerous, and ignores them when they’re for his own well-being.

If you see Umbridge almost capture Sirius in the Floo Network, don’t use the Floo Network in Umbridge’s office to contact Sirius. If you know Snape is removing memories while teaching you Occlumency, don’t take the first opportunity you are given to spy on those memories. If Dumbledore sacrifices himself so that you can stay at school, try not to get expelled. If every adult you trust keeps emphasizing how important it is that you learn Occlumency, try practicing a little. And for the love of all things holy, don’t risk your expulsion, as well as that of the Weasley twins, not to mention possibly blowing Sirius’ cover, just to ask if your Daddy was a dick when he was 15 years old. Hate to say it, but you’re 15 years old and you’re also being kind of a dick.

Granted, if every character acted in a logical manner, there probably wouldn’t be much of a story left. If Harry wasn’t constantly doing exactly what he was told not to, the series would have ended 2,000 pages ago. If Harry actually kept his head down and stayed out of trouble, no one would be talking about this book; there wouldn’t be a book to talk about.

Just saying.

(Steps off soap box)

I’ve finished Chapter 29: Career Advice, and I’m really no further along in my predictions for the end of the book than I was ten chapters ago. I think it would be interesting if the Azkaban Death Eaters made it into Hogwarts, perhaps assisted by the dementors. Nothing would undermine the Ministry of Magic like escaped criminals infultrating the school. This would solve everything. Dumbledore’s Army could fight off the Death Eaters (with the help of the Order of the Phoenix), Umbridge would inevitably be removed from her position, and Dumbledore could come back. Perfect! So perfect, in fact, that it probably won’t happen.

Following the Weasley twins’ dramatic Hogwarts exit, is Mr. Weasley still going to keep his job? That seems like grounds to fire him, at least as far as the Ministry would be concerned.

Now about this “weapon”. Yeah, I’m still not sure what it is. Part of me keeps thinking ability to control other wizards, or read their minds, via those glass orbs (or as J.K. refers to them, spheres). I also sort of have an idea what a horcrux is, so perhaps the weapon is that. Does that even make sense?

Here’s a question: was Snape really helping Harry with Occlumency, or opening his mind for Voldemort? I know Snape turns bad – when does this happen? Maybe he doesn’t turn bad – maybe he never stopped being bad.

And what about Draco Malfoy? I still desperately want him to be a redeemable character, but his father is so far gone, I’m not sure that’s possible. When do we get to the point where Draco can no longer turn good and I have to give up on this feeble dream of mine?

And what the hell is Hagrid doing in the forest? At first, I thought he was talking with the giants somehow. Did a group of them break off when the new giant came into power and end up in the Forbidden Forest? Now I’m not so sure. Is he doing something with the Thestrals? No, that makes no sense. The Thestrals wouldn’t be causing that much damage. What is he trying to accomplish? If his wounds aren’t healing, maybe he’s fighting the same sort of snake Voldemort was controlling. So many options, but I’m still sort of stuck on the whole giant idea.

Why did Aunt Petunia get a Howler? Is Dudley part wizard? That’s a massively lost part of the plot that I really hope comes back. I’m not sure what it would accomplish other than making me happy that there has been a resolution.

What about Percy? Will he finally come to his senses, or die in some tragic way, having never made up with his family? What a jerk he’s turned out to be!

How about the whole Mr. Bode situation? Avery was punished for saying Bode could remove the weapon when he could not. Is any more going to come of that? Do we meet Avery? Is Avery no longer one of this world?

And how will Sirius die? I’m pretty sure he’s going to be the only death in this book. I’d be surprised otherwise.

Obviously, don’t answer those questions.

New prediction for the end of the series: Mr. Weasley becomes Minister of Magic. My logic: Ron mentioned it as an impossibility (in reference to how impossible it would be for Gryffindor to win the Quidditch Cup), so why not?

In the end, I have a whole lot of questions and very few answers. My predictions are probably completely off the mark, if only because this book throws so many clues out there without any indication which are important and which are rubbish. I’m finding it hard to remember everything. So yuck it up if I’m wrong – or bask in wonderment if I’m somehow right. Either way works.

Just admit, whether my guesses are right or wrong, Harry is still ridiculously annoying in this book.

Okay, everybody. Try and look badass. Yes, even you, Neville...

With my “Mundungus Fletcher is definitely the bad guy” prediction dead in the water (I still say it could have worked!), I’ve been asked if I have any ideas about the great “weapon” that keeps coming up in Order of the Phoenix (Ben, I’m looking at you). As far as issues in the book are concerned, the weapon is kind of a big deal, and yet I haven’t said a word about it. No mention at all. Funny. You’d think I’d at least float a few little predictions as to what this weapon could be.

Or maybe I’m avoiding the topic because I have no clue what the weapon is. I’m at such a loss, that I’ve chosen to stick my fingers in my ears whenever the weapon is mentioned and sing “la la la” very loudly until the subject changes to Professor Umbridge or Dumbledore’s Army. It’s really the most mature and effective reaction I’ve been able to come up with.

But I guess it’s time to grasp at straws and make a few guesses about this weapon everybody is making such a big fuss about. Because as we all know, my predictions are usually so spot on, it’s actually creepy. Prepare yourself for some accurate detective work.

Before I say anything, though, I want to make sure I have all the facts straight. So I think we need a little review. Here’s what we know (or think we know):

The book starts with Dementors showing up on Privet Drive and scaring the fat-pain-in-the-ass out of Dudley. For their part, the Ministry of Magic adamantly denies this ever happened (because that’s what big government agencies do), citing that the Dementors are under their control and they would be the first to know if they went AWOL. Following this Dementor attack, Harry finds out from Mrs. Figg (a squib) that he has been under constant guard. By who, you ask? Why, by the Order of the Phoenix (whose name conveniently matches the title of the book), a clandestine group of renegades operating outside the law (like the A-Team).

Catch-22 time! In order to fight off a Dementor, one must do magic. However, one is not permitted to do magic if one is underaged unless ones life is in peril. And ones life is not sufficiently in peril if the Ministry of Magic claims the Dementors one was supposedly fighting were not, in fact, present at the fight. So Harry, finding himself royally screwed, is brought before the Ministry of Magic to face expulsion. Much to his luck, Dumbledore swoops in and saves the day, but much to his dismay, the two of them do not speak, adding to the ever-growing list of things that make Harry angsty in this book.

Armed with nothing but his devilish charms, Harry convinces Sirius to tell him exactly what’s been going on with Voldey and what the Order has been up to. This is when he finds out about the weapon, which he really wasn’t supposed to find out about, so you know it’s important and probably going to come up again later.

Now, whilst at the Ministry of Magic, Harry meets Mr. Bode, who works for the Department of Mysteries, and he sees him again at St. Mungo’s hospital during a visit to Mr. Weasley, who was attacked by a snake while guarding the Department of Mysteries – a snake that was probably being controlled by Voldemort (still with me?). Extra credit: Harry saw the whole thing because he is mentally connected with the Dark Lord himself (lucky Harry). Bonus points: Harry has been dreaming about the hallway outside the Department of Mysteries for the entire year. And now for the lightning round: Sturgis Podmore was arrested for supposedly trying to break into the Department of Mysteries. I’m going to say the weapon is probably stored there.

As for Bode, he later dies via Devil’s Snare, which was delivered anonymously to his hospital bed. Tough break.

What else, what else, what else…

The prisoners from Azkaban escape (ruh-row), which means the Dementors are not so loyal to the Ministry of Magic as everyone thought (maybe the Ministry should have hired Hufflepuffs…I hear they’re loyal). And Dumbledore insists Harry learns Occlumency, because having the most powerful dark wizard capable of reading and controlling your mind is probably bad.

Other random facts to consider: Snape removed his memories and placed them in a pensive before teaching Harry Occlumency, Tonk is still a metamorphmagus (I feel like this is going to come up somehow), Dumbledore’s Army is training for battle (which means there has to be a battle), Bellatrix Lestrange is free to roam the earth looking a hell of a lot like Helena Bonham Carter, Hagrid is getting the shit kicked out of him in some unexplained way, the Thestrals have been introduced (I’m sure for a reason), Aunt Petunia got a mysterious Howler, Cornelius Fudge is rumored to have an army all of his own, Hermione wants Rita Skeeter to reveal the Death Eaters in the Daily Prophet, Professor Umbridge is borderline torturing the students and staff of Hogwarts, and everybody keeps telling Harry to keep his head down and stay out of trouble.

When you put all those facts together, the weapon is obvious.

So obvious, in fact, that I’m not going to say what it is. I don’t want to ruin the surprise. Yeah, that’s it…I don’t want to ruin the surprise.

Okay, how in the hell are you supposed to figure out the weapon from that mismatched array of clues? I can’t even tell you if all those things are clues. Everyone keeps saying J.K. Rowling is constantly foreshadowing with the most minute details, so I’m stuck over analyzing every hiccup in an 870 page book.

I wanted to say that Harry is the weapon, but that’s already been shot down. Too easy, I guess. Part of me thinks it has something to do with orbs, just because I’ve seen promotional posters for the fifth film and there’s a lot of orbs floating around. Do the orbs hold memories? Are those memories a weapon? I mean, that would make sense in a way. Whenever Snape breaks into Harry’s mind during Occlumency, he tears through his memories. What I don’t get is how memories can be used as a weapon against someone. Sure, they may make someone feel awfully bad, but I wouldn’t cite them as the great weapon that will bring hundreds of wizards to their knees.

Memories in orbs being used as a weapon would be twice as interesting in light of the fact that Professor Trelawny is getting the boot rather soon. If ever they needed someone who could at least pretend to read a crystal ball…

But even with this shot-in-the-dark guess, I still can’t answer why Hagrid looks like he got hit by the Knight Bus, or why Dumbledore won’t speak with Harry, or why Sturgis was trying to break into the Department of Mysteries (or was framed to look like he was), or who killed Mr. Bode, or who will kill Sirius, or the circumstances that will lead up to the inevitable confrontation between Dumbledore’s Army and the Death Eaters.

So all I’ve really got for you is that the weapon is somewhere in the Department of Mysteries, that weapon is probably an orb (or a bunch of orbs), and those orbs might contain memories.

Wait! Could the orbs contain full access to a person’s mind? (I’m really stuck on this orb idea). If you possess an orb, you possess the person?

I’m going with that! The weapon is the power to fully control all wizards. Simple enough, isn’t it?

And yet, why do I feel like I’m probably still wrong?

Harry Potter es un elemento de éstos que he tenido, cómo lo diría, que lo he tenido “casi en toda la fase principal de mi vida” y desde que lo empecé a leer me ha fascinado de una forma espectacular. Hace ya muchos años que me regalaron los dos primeros libros, que al principio pues me los tomé como dos libros más, sin mucha importancia, pero es que en aquellos tiempos aún no sabía que tendrían tanta repercusión en el mundo de la literatura actual. Los empecé a leer y de forma inmediata pude ver cómo me sumergía en un mundo completamente diferente al nuestro, un mundo mágico y en muchos aspectos mucho mejor que el mundo real. No hay duda de que me cautivó esa forma tan increíblemente natural con la que la autora consigue combinar un mundo tan diferente como es el de la magia con nuestra realidad, lo que hace que aún siendo fantástico, no se vuelva empalagoso. Cada uno de los personajes tiene su propia personalidad, casi todos tienen su papel en la novela y ésto le da mucho dinamismo, y es un libro que personalmente me hace disfrutar. Las primeras entregas ya eran muy buenas, pero según va siguiendo la saga se van viendo libros más grandes, en los que entre tantas páginas puedes encontrarte con una rutina que realmente es agradable, y vas viendo también que poco a poco una novela que parece hecha para niños va teniendo su lado oscuro, y va cogiendo un tono mucho más adulto siempre sin perder su espíritu mágico natural. Personalmente pienso que es una serie de libros que todo el mundo debería leer, que la trama es increíblemente extensa pero intensa y que realmente merece un reconocimiento puesto que la autora ha conseguido crear un mundo completamente nuevo respecto a todo lo anterior creado en el mundo literario, es decir, ha creado una base sobre la que ya aparecen miles de detalles referentes, como los deportes mágicos, asignaturas, criaturas… y eso es algo que no todo el mundo puede llegar a pensar.
Por todo ésto y mucho más a mí me ha fascinado desde siempre el mundo de Harry Potter, y aunque haya mucha gente que lo critique, que la hay, yo les digo “que se jodan” porque no van a disfrutar de lo bueno que tiene éste nuevo estilo de novela, y ésto lo digo porque realmente es que no tiene desperdicio, tiene de infantil todo lo que tú le quieras dar de infantil, porque resalta todo tipo de valores y trata temas tan adultos como los de cualquier novela dedicada únicamente al sector adulto.
Son una serie de siete novelas, empezando por la más corta y a cada más aumentando en número de páginas, al menos hasta el quinto libro, acompañadas cada una de su respectiva película, ya que actualmente está en los cines la película del sexto libro que cuenta con Daniel Radcliffe como protagonista. Sobre las películas también se ha dicho mucho, y es evidente que son mucho peor que los libros pues éstos son muy largos y es complicadísimo meter tanta información en una película, pero aún así creo que demasiado bien las han producido para lo complicado que es. Y bien, ya no tengo más ganas de escribir sobre éste tema, creo que todo ha quedado bien claro, y probablemente cuelgue los e-books de Harry Potter pronto en el blog para que los podáis descargar. Mientras tanto… ¡Disfrutad de verano!

I’m one chapter in to Goblet of Fire, which means I’m no where near far enough to start making predictions about this book. That said, I was asked today if I had any guesses as to who would die during the course of the series. While I know there’s a pretty substantial body count in the final book, and I know that I haven’t been introduced to every character that will meet his wizardly maker before the series is out, I’m pretty sure I’ve been asked to place my bets because of how “accurate” my previous predictions have been. It really doesn’t matter if I’m right. In fact, it will be way more amusing if I’m horribly wrong – almost as amusing as if I’m magically spot-on.

I already know Diggory and Dumbledore kick the cauldron. No surprises there. The interesting question is who follows them. I have a few theories, and while I’m in no way saying all of these characters shuffle off the wizardly coil, I’m pretty sure I’m bound to have at least ONE right. Hedging my bets.

With that in mind, I guess it’s time to predict the Harry Potter Body Count.

Ginny Weasley
At this stage in the game, she’s pretty helpless. Her main purpose seems to be to raise the stakes of the preexisting conflicts. Facing Tom Riddle in the Chamber of Secrets sure does suck, but it sucks a whole hell of a lot more if Ginny is half-dead in the background. If there is a blossoming romance with Harry, she’s the most obvious victim. It’s a classic model – you get at the hero through his damsel in distress. I know this was a popular theory when the books were originally released, so maybe I’m wrong because I heard nothing after that. But she’s definitely on the watch list.

Draco Malfoy
To be honest, I’d hate to see this little emo punk give up the ghost. I don’t think he’s all bad, but rather a victim of his circumstances. A pawn. A spoiled brat. A kid with an unfortunate “Children of the Damned” bleach job. I don’t think anything would be gained for our hero if Draco died, unless we had one of those redeeming “You weren’t all that bad. I forgive you for everything” moments that so define the deaths of wishy washy villains. So maybe I’m saying that he won’t die. Or at the very least, I’m saying he shouldn’t.

Hagrid
It’s possible. I can see a million reasons as to why this would be a logical route for the story to take. What better way to tug at the heart strings than to kill off one of the most lovable bumbling characters in the series? Hagrid is like a loyal dog, and did anyone see “Marley and Me”? Just saying…

Sirius Black
Does he die before book six? (Don’t answer that). I don’t remember him dying, but I don’t remember him living either. In any event, it’s a distinct possibility. Same goes for Lupin. Either one of them could easily go during the course of the series and I wouldn’t be too surprised.

Peter Pettigrew
Is this a fair guess? Oh wow, the creepy servant of the evil overlord could die? You must be mad! Honestly, I have no idea if he passes on – nor do I really care. And since I got the distinct impression that the deaths near the end of the series are enough to evoke a response, I’m not keeping an eye on him. I just don’t see how anyone would give two shits if he was killed. Shrug.

Lord Voldemort
The obvious guess. Yes, I think they defeat Voldemort. At this point, I’m not entirely sure he’s “alive”, so maybe he can’t actually die. But if he can die, then he will. Good overcomes evil. Blah blah blah. You know the drill.

Snape
I feel like he’s pretty much a goner the second he turns bad (he does turn bad, right?) If he doesn’t undergo that redeeming moment I predicted entries back (lucky guess?), then his defeat may be as important as Lord Voldermort’s. Let’s just say I wouldn’t be surprised.

One of the Weasleys
Okay, so if Ginny makes it to the end of Book 7, one of the other Weasleys will not. My reasoning? There are just too many of them. If you’re going to kill of a character, you essentially have an army of little red-headed wizards to pick from in the Weasleys. I’d keep my eye on Mrs. Weasley if I were you.

And now, my wonderful predictions for who won’t  die…

Ron Weasley & Hermione Granger
The two best friends will make it to the very end. Why? Because they will. Because Rowling was never going to kill off Harry’s two best friends. They’re practically the only family he’s ever had. It just doesn’t make sense in my mind, thematically.

Harry Potter
Harry Potter won’t die. I know this for a fact. Besides, who would write a 4,000+ page series, only to kill the main character at the end? Seems unnecessarily cruel for a children’s book.

And so those are my predictions. Hopefully at least one of my guesses will prove accurate – otherwise, I have no idea who dies at the end of this series. Who’s left? Don’t tell me they kill Neville. Not Neville…

I finally saw Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince. I meant to see it opening day, but I spaced out, and then I moved to a new apartment so I really didn’t have the money to spare, and I finally got around to seeing it yesterday. It was, in a word, disappointing. This review contains spoilers. Duh. I don’t know if I’d rather have seen it opening day, if the Potter-mania and hype would have created a social atmosphere that would make the movie seem less blah, but maybe it would only have heightened my disappointment.  I will say that, as always, the special effects are brilliant, but the humanity that separates the Harry Potter series from other flashy SFX-driven action films was missing.  I’d say that was mostly a result of the barebones script – trying to condense a complex book into a two and a half hour movie is difficult enough, taking up a third of the time with dialogue-less special effects makes it impossible. The best performances came from the three teenage leads – Daniel Radcilffe (Harry), Emma Watson (Hermione), and Rupert Grint (Ron) – as usual they were spot on in their characters.  Michael Gambon (Dumbledore) seemed dazed throughout the entire movie, his performance seemed rote and emotionless.  His best performance was in the cave scene, though even that had its flaws, and his final line, “Severus, please,” was offered with a lack of emotion better suited to asking Snape to pass the salt.  Alan Rickman (Snape) gave an excellent performance, given the limited script he had to work with.  His facial expressions said more than his dialogue, which seemed stilted to me, because the dry affected arrogance of his tone came off forced when condensed to one-line quips.  I don’t think he said more than two sentences in a row the entire movie. Jim Broadbent gave a great performance as Horace Slughorn, capturing the sycophantic arrogance of the character perfectly.  I’d say one of my favorite scenes was when he and Hagrid, two polar opposites, sang wizard drinking songs together to mourn Aragog.  Tom Felton (Draco Malfoy) wore his emotions on his face the entire movie, which lessened the impact of his final scene, but he did that scene well enough to make up for it. There was a lot of online fuss made over the casting of Helen McCrory as Narcissa Malfoy.  I can see where the complaints were coming from – she looks more like a middle-class housewife than a cold beauty – but her performance well made up for it.  In the books, Mrs. Malfoy goes from being an arrogant aristocrat to a protective mother who would sacrifice anything to save her family, particularly her son.  Since this is her first screen appearance, and she had only one scene, it would have been impossible for McCrory to capture the nuances of that transformation.  She plays the Narcissa Malfoy whose husband is in Azkaban, whose son has been chosen to complete a task that will most likely kill him, and who is more concerned with her family than notions of “blood-purity.” As far as the scenes in the movie, they seemed random and disjointed.  I wonder what someone seeing this movie who hasn’t read the books would have thought of it.  The scenes with Draco and the Vanishing Cabinet barely made sense even after they were explained, and there was SO MUCH PLOT missing from this movie, that I don’t know how they’re going to make the Deathly Hallows make sense. Far too much time was spent on the “Ron-Lavender-Hermione” love triangle.  I mean come on.  At first, I was annoyed at the scene of Hermione crying that Ron was dating someone, then I remembered she was a socially awkward bookworm, so it kinda made sense, then I remembered she went to the Triwizard Ball with Viktor Krum and I got annoyed again.  And Ginny tying Harry’s shoelace? What. Was. That?  This is supposed to be the darkest, grittiest installment of the series so far and they turned it into a cutesy teen-love flick? Five things left out that are far more crucial to the plot than “Won-Won”:

• Merope Gaunt and Tom Riddle Sr.
• Harry inherits the Black family home. And Kreacher.
• Snape finally snapping (“Don’t call me coward”) after killing Dumbledore.  That could have been such a powerful scene, Snape carried out Dumbledore’s wishes and Harry, the embodiment of James and the boy he’s sworn to protect, calls him a coward for it.
• Dumbledore showing the Hepzibah Smith memory and explaining to Harry what sort of items the Horcruxes are so he knows what to look for in Deathly Hallows.
• Harry being paralyzed under the invisibility cloak when Dumbledore is killed.  Having Snape go “shhhh” when he could capture Harry and bring him to Voldemort kinda gives away the ending of the series, y’know?

I am so glad that Deathly Hallows is going to be split up into two separate movies.  I really wish the producers had done the same for this one, or at least added another hour or so of footage, because this movie is supposed to contain so many crucial scenes that lead up to the series resolution.  In comparison to the preceding movies, this one falls flat.

I finally saw Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince. I meant to see it opening day, but I spaced out, and then I moved to a new apartment so I really didn’t have the money to spare, and I finally got around to seeing it yesterday. It was, in a word, disappointing.

This review contains spoilers. Duh.

I don’t know if I’d rather have seen it opening day, if the Potter-mania and hype would have created a social atmosphere that would make the movie seem less blah, but maybe it would only have heightened my disappointment.  I will say that, as always, the special effects are brilliant, but the humanity that separates the Harry Potter series from other flashy SFX-driven action films was missing.  I’d say that was mostly a result of the barebones script – trying to condense a complex book into a two and a half hour movie is difficult enough, taking up a third of the time with dialogue-less special effects makes it impossible.

The best performances came from the three teenage leads – Daniel Radcilffe (Harry), Emma Watson (Hermione), and Rupert Grint (Ron) – as usual they were spot on in their characters.  Michael Gambon (Dumbledore) seemed dazed throughout the entire movie, his performance seemed rote and emotionless.  His best performance was in the cave scene, though even that had its flaws, and his final line, “Severus, please,” was offered with a lack of emotion better suited to asking Snape to pass the salt.  Alan Rickman (Snape) gave an excellent performance, given the limited script he had to work with.  His facial expressions said more than his dialogue, which seemed stilted to me, because the dry affected arrogance of his tone came off forced when condensed to one-line quips.  I don’t think he said more than two sentences in a row the entire movie.

Jim Broadbent gave a great performance as Horace Slughorn, capturing the sycophantic arrogance of the character perfectly.  I’d say one of my favorite scenes was when he and Hagrid, two polar opposites, sang wizard drinking songs together to mourn Aragog.  Tom Felton (Draco Malfoy) wore his emotions on his face the entire movie, which lessened the impact of his final scene, but he did that scene well enough to make up for it.

There was a lot of online fuss made over the casting of Helen McCrory as Narcissa Malfoy.  I can see where the complaints were coming from – she looks more like a middle-class housewife than a cold beauty – but her performance well made up for it.  In the books, Mrs. Malfoy goes from being an arrogant aristocrat to a protective mother who would sacrifice anything to save her family, particularly her son.  Since this is her first screen appearance, and she had only one scene, it would have been impossible for McCrory to capture the nuances of that transformation.  She plays the Narcissa Malfoy whose husband is in Azkaban, whose son has been chosen to complete a task that will most likely kill him, and who is more concerned with her family than notions of “blood-purity.”

As far as the scenes in the movie, they seemed random and disjointed.  I wonder what someone seeing this movie who hasn’t read the books would have thought of it.  The scenes with Draco and the Vanishing Cabinet barely made sense even after they were explained, and there was SO MUCH PLOT missing from this movie, that I don’t know how they’re going to make the Deathly Hallows make sense.

Far too much time was spent on the “Ron-Lavender-Hermione” love triangle.  I mean come on.  At first, I was annoyed at the scene of Hermione crying that Ron was dating someone, then I remembered she was a socially awkward bookworm, so it kinda made sense, then I remembered she went to the Triwizard Ball with Viktor Krum and I got annoyed again.  And Ginny tying Harry’s shoelace? What. Was. That?  This is supposed to be the darkest, grittiest installment of the series so far and they turned it into a cutesy teen-love flick?

Five things left out that are far more crucial to the plot than “Won-Won”:

• Merope Gaunt and Tom Riddle Sr.
• Harry inherits the Black family home. And Kreacher.
• Snape finally snapping (“Don’t call me coward”) after killing Dumbledore.  That could have been such a powerful scene, Snape carried out Dumbledore’s wishes and Harry, the embodiment of James and the boy he’s sworn to protect, calls him a coward for it.
• Dumbledore showing the Hepzibah Smith memory and explaining to Harry what sort of items the Horcruxes are so he knows what to look for in Deathly Hallows.
• Harry being paralyzed under the invisibility cloak when Dumbledore is killed.  Having Snape go “shhhh” when he could capture Harry and bring him to Voldemort kinda gives away the ending of the series, y’know?

I am so glad that Deathly Hallows is going to be split up into two separate movies.  I really wish the producers had done the same for this one, or at least added another hour or so of footage, because this movie is supposed to contain so many crucial scenes that lead up to the series resolution.  In comparison to the preceding movies, this one falls flat.

I have to admit that I am a Harry Potter nerd (Don’t knock it till you try it). Anyway, Julie and I decided that we were going to go to the midnight showing (12:15 to be exact). And like dumb dumbs we showed up at 11:00pm expecting to be able to get great seats in the theatre. Of course there were lines on every corner of that place. We over heard some people say that they have been waiting in line since 7pm. I’m sure the people in the front of those lines were probably there for 4 days and smelled of rot… but who am I to judge?  We finally found which line we were supposed to be in and walked toward the “back” of the line. Let me tell you, we walked and walked all the way down the street and around the corner. Once we turned the corner there was the back of another line intermingled with the back of our line. At this point we decided to make our way back up to the front of the line. I have no idea why we did that but it ended up working out in our favor. As we walked back to the front we saw a “break” in the line. Apparently Harry Potter fans aren’t very aware of their surroundings. We stopped right where this “break” was and started talking. Little by little and inch by inch we shuffled our way into the line. No one noticed, no one said anything and we had officially cheated the system. I’m sorry but if I was in line since 7, I’d be breathing down the persons back who was in front of me making sure no one cut in front of us.

Julie was a little scared by the scenery. This was her first time at a Harry Potter midnight showing so she was unaware of the “freaks” that come out for this event (I’m one of them). In front of us was a woman wearing the sorting hat. Where she got it from, I don’t know… But I want one. Sitting on the floor behind us was THE Harry Potter. This kid looked so much like him I was shocked and then I was afraid (he was dressed in the perfect Harry Potter attire). In another line across the way was a group of girls wearing school uniforms with dark marks on their arms (scribbled on by black lipstick).  To our right there were these emo kids playing the guitar singing Harry Potter songs that they just made up and were begging for money. As we were getting ready to be let into the theatre a big man dressed up as Hagrid walked by… All we could do was stare.  As soon as they let the lines move there were a group of 4 kids accompanied by their parents directly in front of us. They looked to be in Jr. High or high school and they started freaking out. Literally yelling, “THE LINE IS MOVING! OMG OMG OMG.” They were boys… I was unaware that boys that age got this excited about the line moving. I immediately made fun of them until Julie informed me that they were special needs children. I felt like crap. I’m never making fun of kids again. Stupid me. Anyway! We were finally let into the theatre about 45 minutes early. As we were sitting there (in our amazing seats) the people to our right were playing poker and the people to our left were playing “Harry Potter Trivia (not gonna lie, I knew a lot of the answers).” The best part of the night was when we overheard this conversation between two high school girls:

Molly: Oh my god its sooooo good to see you! Who are you here with?

Jill: Oh my friend Dave and his girlfriend Jenny (as she points off into the crowd).

Molly: Oh that’s nice. Soooo are you as excited as I am to watch this movie?

Jill: Yes! I can’t wait. I hope it’s as good as the book!

Molly: Me too! Earlier I saw these people walk by and they were wearing Slythern shirts. I wanted to boo them in the face. You know you’re obsessed when you see people wearing Slythern colors and get pissed off.”

Jill: Yeah, okay well I’m going to go back to my friends now.

Molly: Okay, Happy Harry Potter movie day! Keep in touch!

Ehhem. What the hell…Really though? Can we say, anger management? It’s just green. You want to boo people wearing green? Weirdos.

Next we saw this girl walk in with a wand. Julie was overly excited about the wand.

Monique: Does that girl have a wand?

Julie: Yessssssss! Where did she get it?!? I want one!

Monique: Um Julie… It’s just a sick.

Julie: Oh. Right.

Right then, the lights dimmed and everyone in the theatre started clapping and cheering. The first preview was for the new “Twilight” movie. For some strange reason the film was projecting the preview upside down, on mute and in reverse. Everyone started laughing and cheering. Apparently Harry Potter fans are NOT twilight fans. Just my kind of people!

Anyway, the moral of the story is that even if you aren’t a Harry Potter fan… Going to a midnight showing is worth it, just for the people watching.

Do it.

The Sorting Hat.

The poor souls we cut off.

The Dunk. Xavier sophmore, Jordan Crawford, peals off a screen and streaks for the hoop. Lebron leaves his man and turns toward Crawford to provide help defense. He leaps in hopes of swatting the young buck’s effort away, but he is just a hair late. The student athlete throws it down with two hands and the planet’s greatest player is helpless to prevent it – at Lebron’s own summer camp no less.

As countless media outlets have already declared, it’s a joke that we ever heard about this dunk in the first place. The reputation of Lebron’s athletic superiority was unthreatened by this rare moment. Now the masochistic tendencies of celebrity kick in. We only heard about “the dunk” because of the cover up by Lebron and his crew. Any attempt to camouflage this innocuous event guarantees that the story will be told. Only by trying to conceal it could the dunk become noteworthy in everyone’s mind. 

When I heard that someone had dunked on Lebron I thought, “That must of been cool for that kid.” When I heard that someone had dunked on Lebron and he was desperate to cover it up, I was picturing Jordan Crawford soaring through the key like a hybrid of MJ in the ’88 dunk contest and one of Hagrid’s Hippogriffs, throwing it down with stadium-rattling force, raising a victorious battle cry, and pounding his chest as Lebron cowers in defeat and fear.

Let’s assume for the moment that the dunk was a flash of athletic domination. Does Lebron really think that he has something to fear? The man just hit a 25+ foot fade away 3-pointer to win a playoff game. Just over a month ago he put the Cavs on his back – Samwise Gamgee style – and singlehandedly pushed the Eastern Conference Championship to 7 games. Even in defeat, he remains at the peak of his deity status with the media. ESPN anchors fawn over him, nearly reading personally written love notes to him. Sportscenter loves Lebron like CNN loves Obama (and that’s saying something). We wouldn’t have dethroned “King James” because some young kid had briefly shown him up. 

For a man who molds his image like a parent seeks to groom his child, he sure doesn’t know how to help himself out. Nothing new to see here I’m afraid. The spotlight provided to celebrities apparently blinds them to – even self-interested – common sense. Forget displaying a Nixonian “destroy the tape” moment – a skilled, pragmatic egotist would have eagerly broken the story himself. His image would have gone through the roof. Had a grinning Mr. James gushed to anyone who would listen about how “sick” this kid’s dunk was and how much fun it was to play with this young rising star, the effect would have been magnetic. Even his haters would have been grudgingly acknowledging his class act. A humble, confident Lebron James would be irresistible. Secure greatness is very attractive. The media infatuation would have adopted the worshipful tones usually reserved for Oprah or Obama.

Achieving both adoration and admiration is not accomplished through hiding evidence and tattooing “Chosen 1” across your back. That tattoo belongs on a guy with the last-name “Ocho-Cinco” more than it does on anyone who is actually “chosen” or who desires stature as well as sensation. This incident reveals nothing more than a needlessly insecure man. An extraordinary guy who still doesn’t know how to get where he wants to be.

Maybe he doesn’t know.

2001 - Harry Potter e a Pedra Filosofal

Harry Potter (Daniel Radcliff) é um garoto órfão de 10 anos que vive infeliz com seus tios, os Dursley. Até que, repentinamente, ele recebe uma carta contendo um convite para ingressar em Hogwarts, uma famosa escola especializada em formar jovens bruxos. Inicialmente Harry é impedido de ler a carta por seu tio Válter (Richard Griffiths), mas logo ele recebe a visita de Hagrid (Robbie Coltrane), o guarda-caça de Hogwarts, que chega em sua casa para levá-lo até a escola. A partir de então Harry passa a conhecer um mundo mágico que jamais imaginara, vivendo as mais diversas aventuras com seus mais novos amigos, Rony Weasley (Rupert Grint) e Hermione Granger (Emma Watson).

2002 - Harry Potter e a Câmara Secreta

MELHOR AINDA QUE SEU ANTECESSOR, COM MAIS AÇÃO, HUMOR E SUSTOS. Carros voadores, árvores que lutam e um misterioso elfo, com um aviso ainda mais misterioso…Harry Potter está pronto para dar início ao segundo ano de sua maravilhosa jornada no mundo da bruxaria. Em Hogwarts nesse ano, aranhas falam, cartas dão broncas e a habilidade de Harry para falar com cobras se voltará contra ele. De clubes de duelo a jogadores de quadribol desonestos, esse será um ano de aventura e perigo para todos. Quando a mensagem sangrenta na parede anuncia que a Câmara Secreta foi aberta, Harry, Ron e Hermione percebem que para salvar Hogwarts será preciso muita mágica e coragem. Confira essa enfeitiçante adaptação do segundo livro da obra da escritora J.K. Rowling e prepare-se para ficar petrificado quando Harry Potter demonstrar que, mais do que um bruxo, é um verdadeiro herói!

2004 - Harry Potter e o Prisioneiro de Azkaban

Quando a desprezível Tia Guida voa pelo céu na noite, Harry parte para o que será seu terceiro ano em Hogwarts. Um passeio no Nôitibus o leva para o Beco Diagonal onde ele fica sabendo que um prisioneiro foragido, Sirius Black está atrás dele. Em Hogwarts, Harry e seus amigos aprendem a delicada arte de se aproximar de um Hipogrifo, como transformar monstros em risadas e até mesmo a voltar no tempo. Dementadores sugadores de almas pairam sobre Hogwarts, ameaçando Harry, enquanto um seguidor de Aquele-Que-Não-Se-Deve-Nomear espreita pela escola. E Harry será forçado a confrontar todos eles. Dirigido por Alfonso Cuarón e baseado no terceiro livro de J.K. Rowling, essa maravilhosa história traz risadas, suspense e surpresas de tirar o fôlego, a especialidade dos filmes de Harry Potter. Prepare-se!

2005 - Harry Potter e o Cálice de Fogo

Verão, Harry Potter, agora com 14 anos, sente sua cicatriz arder durante um sonho bastante real com Lord Voldemont, o qual não consegue esquecer; três dias depois, já em companhia da família Weasley, com quem foi passar o restante das férias, na final da Copa Mundia de Quadribol, os Comensais da Morte, seguidores de Você-Sabe-Quem, reapareceram e alguém conjura a Marca Negra – o sinal de Lord Voldemort – projetando-a no céu pela primeira vez em 13 anos, causando pânico na comunidade mágica. Será que o terrível bruxo está voltando? Tudo indica que sim.

2007 - Harry Potter e a Ordem da Fênix

De volta às aulas, Harry descobre que boa parte da comunidade da magia foi levada a acreditar que a recente história sobre o encontro entre ele e Lord Voldemort foi uma mentira. Para complicar ainda mais, o Ministro da Magia, Cornélio Fudge, designou uma nova professora Dolores Umbridge. Entretanto, o curso da professora, em vez de protegê-los acaba por deixá-los despreparados contra as forças do mal. Isso obriga Harry, Hermione e Ron a cuidarem do problema com suas próprias mãos.Através de reuniões secretas com um pequeno grupo de estudantes auto intitulados “A Armada de Dumbledore”, Harry os ensina a como se protegerem contra a Magia Negra.