Katru dienu, kad mamma atnāk mājās, viņa stāsta par to, kā kāda no viņas draudzenēm ieteikusi kko tur darīt, lai ātrāk tiktu ārā no slimības šitās jokainās. Ko tik man tur neieteica. Lai nu kā. Vakar mamma atnāca mājās un teica, ka kkāda draudzene teikusi, ka vajagot ingveru sakapāt un tēju sataisīt no viņa. Ingvers jau pats par sevi man nepatīk, jo gadījās piedzīvojums, kas nedaudz saistīts ar ingveriem. Notikums šāds:

Kādu jauku vasaras dienu, kad mēs draugu bariņš (jeb – es un small čigāns) gājām aiz garāžām. nezinu, ko mēs tur darījām (nē, nopietni nezinu) un tad izdomājām paskatīties, kas garāžai jumtā ir. Un ko mēs tur ieraugām? Žurnālu Žirafe.lv . Tiem, kas nezin – īpaši interesants latviešu porno žurnāls. Mums jau rēcīgi. Izdomājām palasīt, kas tur labs rakstīts. Tā nu nonākam pie ingvera. Kāda no raktiem mēs izlasām par sievieti, kas kko tur lasījusi par ingveriem, ka tie tur baigi uzlabo seksuālās spējas, ja viņus iebāž dibenā. Vajagot kkādas 15 minūtes, lai no tā prieka un labsajūtas vajadzētu dabūt sevī kādu šlongu vai, ja ingvers atrodas vīriešcilvēka dibenā, tad kādu mindžu, vai arī to spriedzi nevarot izturēt. Toreiz gardi pasmējāmies. Tā nu pienāca šodien, un, atnākot no skolas mājās.. Ko es ieraugu.. Uz galda mētājas ingvers. Uzreiz prātā metas neķītras domas par to, kādos dibenos jau tas pabijis un šoks, ka man tas būs jākapā un jāliek tējā. Lai nu kā. Visu dienu ejot uz virtuvi ar aizdomām ar viņu skatījos un tad izdomāju izmēģināt viņu. Tagad Tev drošvien prātā jau sāk ņemties neķītras domas un tu domā, ka es pašlaik sēžu pie datora ar pilnu pakaļu ingveru…. Nē, es patiesībā viņu sakapāju un sataisīju tēju, hahah Bet tīri tā neko. Garšo pēc Coldrex tikai ar ne tik sintētisku piegaršu. Cerams, ka palīdzēs, hahaaa ;D

I’m all about a little role playing – I mean who doesn’t get turned on at the thought of sexy time with a McDreamy – but I do believe this is taking things a little bit too far. There is nothing sexy about a speculum. Nothing at all.

And OMG – they sell it on Overstock. WTF?!

Uiiiiiiiiiiii………………

Okei, jeg D-Ø-R av denne videoen! Den er så sykt morsom, jeg lo så jeg nesten falt av stolen! Sjekk ut jentas ansiktsutrykk på slutten, hysterisk! Dere må se hele for å skjønne det, og den varer bare i 30 sek

Se preencher de nada. Ou melhor, ser inundado por tantas indagações e sentimentos que simplesmente se torna a própria encarnação do vazio. Cego. Entorpecido pela própria respiração, sem forças para fazer mais que apenas o costumeiro inspirar e expirar. Mudo. Cansado de tantas incertezas que se desmancham apenas para se multiplicarem. Surdo. Evitar o desmazelo com a realidade, sabendo que ela, dia ou outro, deverá ser desbravada. Insensível. Procurando saídas em um quarto sem portas ou janelas, rezando para acordar de um sonho inexistente. Apático.

Drink up, little lady. It's gonna be a long and awkward night.

Thanksgiving is a-comin’, ladies! Time for some turkey, stuffing (my absolute favorite treat on earth) and reuniting with all your old home friends. Oh, and hopefully a major shopping spree with mom. Is there any other reason to come home?

For those of you lucky ladies who are finally 21 (or those of you with a really good fake), Thanksgiving also means taking part in the biggest bar night of the year! I remember my first Wednesday-Before-Thanksgiving bar experience…at least until I blacked out due to the extreme levels of awkwardness and puked in my parents’ house.

Try explaining that one to dad when he finds you passed out next to the toilet the following morning.

Anyways, being that it is the biggest bar night of the year, there are so many things to know! And, being that I have been doing it for a little while now, I feel I am the perfect person to enlighten you on what to expect and how to deal.

What to Expect: Running into people you never liked and still don’t like.

How to Deal: I tend to hightail it to the bar, but if you don’t want to end up looking up at your dad from the tile floor the next morning, perhaps playing nice is a good idea. You know; pretend to care what they have to say, tell them how good they look and politely bow out when you (pretend to) see a friend across the room.

What to Expect: Saying the same things over (and over and over) again.

How to Deal: I recommend printing a t-shirt that includes the following information: what school you go to, what (if any) sorority you are in, and an acknowledgment to the fact that you gained/lost weight. When you realize that these are the topics discussed all freaking night long you will thank me.

What to Expect: Awkwardly running into people you haven’t called back since you have been so busy doin’ your thang at school.

How to Deal: Is avoidance an option? If so, I recommend the duck and cover. If this is not an option (because ducking under the nearest table would cause quite a scene/you opted to wear a dress) turning the blame on the other person is always best. Approach them with intention and ask them why they don’t return your calls, explain that you have been tirelessly trying to reach them and it is so crazy that you can’t seem to connect. Make them feel guilty. Works like a charm.

What to Expect: The realization that a DD is necessary.

How to Deal: Make sure you don’t have a car available to you. Blame your parents, your siblings, or a dead battery; anything so you don’t have to be the sober one in the sea of awkward interactions. Trust me when I say that it is nearly impossible to get through this night without booze.

What to Expect: The realization that there is literally no late night food…especially in the form of delivery.

How to Deal: Those suburbs just don’t cater to the hungry-after-2am crowd. Pray for some Totino’s Pizza Rolls in mom’s freezer. Or some delicious leftovers. Do not – under any circumstances – dig into the pumpkin pie reserved for the following day. It is not worth that look of disappointment on mom’s face when she has nothing to serve for dessert.

Now you know and – as G.I. Joe once said – knowing is half the battle. The other half, of course, is finding the perfect outfit.

Being back under your parents’ roof for Thanksgiving comes with a cornucopia of blessings, such as mom doing your laundry, shopping sprees and overeating until you actually consider braving the Black Friday crowds just to purchase a pair of jeans with an elastic waistband. However, being back under mom and dad’s watchful eye can be treacherous, as well.

This isn’t dorm life anymore. You can’t order Dominos at 2 a.m. and feed it to your late-night booty call in bed. That wasn’t OK in high school, and, believe me, it still won’t be appreciated by your parentals now. You may be a big, bad college student, but there are still some house rules that you must abide by.

That being said, here are some guidelines for navigating life at home for the Thanksgiving season:

Do enjoy Thanksgiving dinner with your entire extended family and celebrate with a glass of wine.

Don’t crush cans at the dinner table like you’re at a frat party. Because when asked what you’re thankful for this Thanksgiving, you’re great-aunt Susie won’t be laughing when you say “the morning after pill.”

Do have a few friends over for a Thanksgiving Eve pregame. There is nothing that my mom loves more than having my friends over to recap our lives over wine and snacks before she drives us to our night’s destination.

Don’t invite your entire Facebook friends list and set up a beer pong tournament on the kitchen table. Getting the family dog trashed may seem like a cool idea now, but the moment your parent’s feel it’s safe to come out of hiding in their bedroom, you’ll be getting an earful.

Do go out with friends and relive your high school glory days at a good ol’ fashioned house party.

Don’t attempt to use your fake I.D. at the local bar. There’s simply no good explanation a group of kids from various different states spanning the continental U.S. have gathered together to spend Thanksgiving in a small town in Jersey. It’s just not believable.

Do continue the search for a mate. High school boys do a lot of growing up in college; you never know what old crush or summer fling will need rekindling.

Don’t get drunk and sneak them into the basement. Experience has taught me that being awoken to breakfast-in-bed by mommy can turn quite ugly when a naked boy joins the party.

Do use protection.

Don’t ask your dad for it. He may agree, but it will most likely be a shotgun he brings out, not a condom.

You’ve been warned.

…dá ban no Habbo Hotel! Já são alguns os fãs do episódio criado por mim, #showdokakonoob no twitter. Este kako a que me refiro é o kako do Habbo Hotel e actual dono do fã-site CaféDourado. Este mesmo indivíduo tem a pior escrita que alguma vez vi. Para além disso, é dono de um fã-site conhecido pelo seu bom português. Eu próprio já trabalhei lá e foi este mesmo que me demitiu por razões absurdas. Admito que lhe chamei noob mas as verdades por vezes devem ser ditas.

E ontem, visto que o kako escreveu algo no CaféDourado, deu lugar a mais um episódio. Como sou muito boa pessoa, decidi eu mesmo mostrar ao kako esta obra de arte que ele me estava a proporcionar com a sua péssima escrita e então deixei um recado no seu livro de visitas do Habbo Hotel. Este, como não gosta de ouvir verdades, decidiu babar o egg dos seus amigos Moderadores do Habbo Hotel e banir-me. Descobri isto no dia seguinte, hoje, e quase me parti a rir. Foi bom para começar o dia. Mas aqueles que gostam desta maravilhosa crítica, não a perderão!

Just so we’re skr8 – don’t go ’round expecting some rockstar followup to yesterday’s ‘like’able post that inexplicably earned supernova way cool WordPress HP street cred for the Cookie:

‘cuz LIAC is going to be the worldwide proof all of humanity has been craving when it comes to that whole lightning/same place theory, ‘kay?

Instead, we turn our talons today to newspaper nimroddery and the deft touch they (more often than not lately) lend to daily dumbfuckery.

BEHOLD!

I mean, I’m super happy and all to read that United’s working to spiff itself up because, well, who are they kidding. They need to.

But, uhh, quick question … What does United updating its antiquated airline have to do with Sears cutting costs in order to put a spit shine on its shit?!

Eh?
Huh?!
Oh yeah, that’s right – NOTHING!!

Editor’s Note: Journalism 101 sez the headline, story, photo and cutline generally all should jibe …

I’m not naming names here but someone who’s initials are THE LOS ANGELES FUCKING TIMES COPY DESK needs to make a date to remediate!

SOURCE

Update: HAHA — we totally you LA Times for fixing your fuckup.
Want a copy of our ultraprimo screenshot for posterity? :P

Ok, so I’m not an IT professional.  But sometimes, lately ALL the time, I totally feel like Nick Burns.  I get the lamest questions thrown at me, usually by people with “seniority”. 

Does it take THAT much effort to click the little blue circle surrounding a question mark that is present in ALL your MS Office applications?

Yes, apparently it is.  I’ve even gone so far as to tell someone “Well, I just Googled it,” when they thank me.  It escapes them that I’ve basically  just told them to do the same thing.

And why, WHYYYYYYYYY do people do things that they think are super helpful without telling me first?  Those things usually tend to be the exact opposite: completely inane, utterly useless, and making my job even more tedious.

Even non-IT questions are starting to get to me.  I want to scream, “We have a process in place.  It is documented.  REFER TO THE TEXT.”  Well, since RFTM wouldn’t quite work here.

Chumps.

Also: when I descend the staircase here, my knee sounds EXACTLY like someone is ripping open some velcro.  I mean EXACTLY.  Sometimes the people sitting downstairs look up at me like “WTF?”

As I ASCEND the same stairs, my knee sounds like a little kid snapping.

I would not lie to you.

According to my doctor, the cartilage under my knee is worn down and my thigh muscles are uneven.  Or something.

CRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRK!

You know what I'd be thankful for? If Swine Flu wiped out the cast of The Hills.

Every week I write a list. Some people say I’m like David Letterman, only without that whole sexual scandal thing. Or gray hair. Or late night talk show. So, really, the only thing that D.L. and I have in common is our love of a Top 10 List. And what’s not to love? That’s why I bring ‘em to you every week. The real deal. The good stuff. The world’s most important issues.

You know, like stupid celebrities and things that piss me off on Facebook.

This week, in light of the upcoming treasured holiday, I started thinking about all the things in my life that I have to be thankful for: my family, the boy, YSL lipstick and, of course, the inevitable huge delicious meal my mama’s going to prepare this week. But that’s all kinda boring. I mean, who isn’t thankful for YSL lipstick family? So instead, I decided to count down the 10 things I’m un-thankful for this holiday season (or any season, for that matter).

10. The Swine
H1N1 or any other strain of the flu that everyone seems to have caught this year. Stay away.

9. Speidi
I don’t know how many times I can say it.

8. The Bump-it
I’m over this look, and what the hell? How is this a real thing?

7. Any douchey daddy drama in the celeb world.
I’m looking at you, Michael Lohan

6. Ugg boots
I don’t care that they’re comfy. They’re hideous and o-v-e-r.

5. Twilight
And New Moon. And the actors that I want to slap whenever I see their faces. And all that “I hate being famous” from Kristen Stewart. And the relationship rumors. And anything pertaining to this useless franchise.

R.Pat’s hair can stay.

4. Any and all Taylor Swift music
The girl is officially over-rated. Pretty sure I’ve got Kanye on my side on this one.

3. Ridiculous cleanses
Particularly the Blueprint cleanse. I don’t understand why anyone would starve themselves and suck down juice for three days to get cleansed… only to down an entire pizza the moment the whole cleansing process is over. Ughhh.

2. The amount of calories I’m going to consume on Thursday.
Which, by the way, is an average of 5,000 calories. Do you even know how many hours that is on the elliptical? Well don’t tell me. I don’t even want to think about it.

1. Levi Johnston

Da har jeg bestemt meg hvordan mitt eventuelle jule tre skal se ut i år, og det blir definitivt KULERE ENN DITT!

Each set comes with 7 ornaments, including 2-dimensional cutout versions of Wii, N64, Xbox 360, Dreamcast, NES, PS2 and Sega Genesis controllers. The ornaments each measure between 3 and 4 inches wide, so they’re a bit smaller than the real deals.

They’re available in 6 colors, including red, white, yellow, black, clear, and red-tinted acrylic, and can be found over at Digits’ Ponoko or Etsy shops for just $20 bucks a set.

Kult eller total nerdete det feteste som noengang har blitt laget innen julepynt? I’m in!
Noen burde lage slike av konsoller, med mulighet for lys inni, så kan man freshe opp julebordet med en “Candellight 360″ eller evt. “Wii Christmas” (gud jeg håper det spillet ikke kommer ut!)

[etsy]

Via

[Geekologie]

Kaizer

As long as we’re talkin’ ’bout words’n-all, I think serious consideration should be given to liquidating the word ‘like’ from the English language.

FREALZ!

Because that bitch is as flexible as a Sarah Palin book-tour schedule, it can be used as a noun, a verb, an adverb, an adjective, a piece of punctuation, a preposition, a particle, a conjunction or interjection!
::: multitasker extaordinaire!! :::

And I’m totally down with all applications – until it comes to the punctuation, particle and conjunction part because those are peeves (in addition to whether or not - stopitstopitstopit!) that drive me seven full Mack truckloads of batshit crazy.

It is, like, SOOOOOO upsetting, you know? I mean, do you, like, get my, like, point?

Ugh.

But in all seriousness (and pay attention, ‘cuz we don’t do that often here at LIAC) – it’s got to stop.

Because, when you get right down to it, overusing the word ‘like’ is the same as faking your tan, artificially pumping your pucker (or other parts ) or bulking up your brats with boatloads of rusk, excess fibers, maltodextrine or MDM.

IT”S FILLER, FOLKS!
::: just say no :::

When their whiteness is too white, the pigment deficient think nothing of full-on fakery.
::: fake what’cha mamma gave ya! :::
When their lips (or butt, boobs or fun-time banana) aren’t exactly luscious, folks don’t think twice about some strategic surgical servicing.
::: New math: You + phony = putzling :::
And when the food industry wants to maximize profits by minimizing the merit and naturalness (yeah, I said it) of their products, they stuff their stock with whatever will lengthen its shelf-life.
::: caveat emptor, kiddies :::

Like is, like, no different.

Because people can’t think of don’t know the right words anymore – because zero significance has been placed on the enormous importance of appropriate word choice – they’ve leached onto ‘like’ and haven’t let go.

But it’s time to read a fucking dictionary, dickweeeds!.
As much as we encourage the silly and stupid, alliterative linguistic logorrhea, asshattery, fucktardeness and all things scientifical – this one we’re serious about.

Like, totally.

Questo che vado a scrivere è un post di grande serietà e di grande impegno (cfr. “I fichi” by Guccini). Ho finalmente deciso, dopo mesi di procrastinazione – il procrastinare è una delle mie caratteristiche (cfr. “Domani è un altro giorno” by Rossella O’Hara) – di lanciarmi in un’impresa titanica: la classificazione delle chiavi di ricerca.

Dovete sapere, birichini, che quando arrivate al mio blog digitando delle paroline su gooooogle, io lo so. Io, dea onnipresente, onnipotente (ho scritto due volte onniponte prima di scriverlo correttamente) ed onnisaccente, conosco tutti i modi in cui voi arrivate qui. Quello che non so, è come sia possibile accedere al mio blog digitando “fotografie hard dentro le stalle dei cavalli“. Posso capire che ci si arrivi cercando “link e stronzate“, ma “fotografie hard dentro le stalle dei cavalli” proprio no.

Comunque, procediamo nella classificazione.

۞ Per la categoria FAQ E ISTRUZIONI PER L’USO (ovvero, poniamo le domande a Google come se fosse un oracolo; risponde la Pizia):

- aiuto mi è caduto il preservativo nello scarico [ormai non c'è nulla da fare. Ti toccherà chiamare un idraulico, che lo estrarrà e poi non la smetterà più di ridere. Probabilmente diventerai una leggenda tra gli idraulici]
- aiuto caldaia [hai chiesto alla persona giusta!]
- lui mi lascia sempre… perchè? [perché ti ci rimetti]
- chi è la ragazza che piace a tiziano ferro? [e lo chiedi a me?]
- chi ha incastrato Bridget Jones? [io sapevo chi aveva incastrato Roger Rabbit, nel caso possa essere di qualche aiuto..]
- Desmond Harrington è morto? [oddio, questa mi ha mandato in paranoia.. ci sono già tre uomini defunti nella mia men top ten, evitiamo magari di tirargli la sfiga addosso pure a un quarto.. ][segue potente contrograttata di maroni - che non ho]
- scusate come fare andare il flash di una macchina fotografica? [generalmente, c'è un pulsante con un fulmine sopra, un flash, per l'appunto, che lo aziona.. in secondo luogo, perché questa persona dà del voi a google?]
- quanto costano le manette pelose? [ero indecisa se metterla qui o nella categoria hard, comunque io le pagai circa 12€, se non ricordo male. Chiedete a Pallasinistra]
- come faccio a vedere moulin rouge gratis? [te lo direi anche, ma non vorrei trovarmi quelli della finanza a casa]

۞ Per la categoria ZANICHELLI (ovvero, quando Google è cultura):

- portate unificate [???]
- persone acculturate [vi rendete conto che siamo venuti fuori io e il mio blog con questa chiave di ricerca? questo ha del sorprendente]
- il.rasto.del.carlino.aaa.anuci [aaa.anuci è da pronunciarsi come aaa-bbronzatissima?]
- “il bacio nero è” [pare che io non sia stata l'unica a porsi questa domanda, Bibi.. magari leggendo il mio famoserrimo post si chiariranno le idee]
- sempiterna cosa significa [dal latino SEMPER, per sempre + AETERNUS, eterno, che dura per sempre, senza finire] [oppure, dal dizionario di Sally Brown, "finchè non te lo chiedo un'altra volta"]
- formare una frase con piagnucolare ["La Ragazza con la Valigia a volte piagnucola leggendo certe chiavi di ricerca"]
- ragazze mentre che si levano il perizoma [anche per questo ero indecisa, ma mi ha convinto a metterla in questa categoria l'uso della.. come la classifichiamo, grammaticalmente parlando? congiunzione? pronome relativo?]
- le capesante so ostriche [aho, spizzate questo! sto purciaro che prende capesante pe ostriche oh! je s'è svaporato er cervello]
- “come acquistare dei sesti sterone”, trovato anche nella variante “testa rosa sterone” e “youtube film di carlis steron” [il che mi fa dubitare di utilizzare correttamente la parola "testosterone", a questo punto..]

۞ Per la categoria PSICANALISI (ovvero, deliri onirici, domande freudiane e dubbi amletici):

- sognare pettorali ragazzo [chiedere a Pallasinistra, lei dovrebbe sapere qualcosa in più.. io al massimo sogno Pharrell]
- non posso non so nuotare ho paura [pure io non so nuotare. Non è niente di grave. L'importante è evitare inviti in piscine in cui non si tocca]
- paperino che dorme e sogna di dormire [beato lui! io al massimo dormo e sogno che non riesco ad addormentarmi!]
- sarebbe delizioso.. Peter Pan [oh si.. sarebbe delizioso, Peter Pan!]
- che cazzo ne so? [ah, se non lo sai te..]

۞ Per la categoria AAA (ovvero, ufficio persone scomparse; la Ragazza con la Valigia è meglio di Coliandro):

- ragazza cerca ragazzo con porsche [io cerco un ragazzo e un'Abarth, anche non necessariamente insieme]
- indirizzo Dario Argento [se trovi anche quello di Gaspard Ulliel, dallo pure a me!]
- la ragazza con la valigia frastellina [FRA!! TI CERCANO!!]
- cerchiamo anche la “ragazza di frustration” e “sara che ama dario“, le avete viste?
- immagini quartiere pilastro poluz [è uno dei miei contatti su Flickr. Chi lo cerca?]
- esterina [ESTER!! TI CERCANO!!]

۞ Per la categoria GOOOGLE VIDEO E IMMAGGGINI (ovvero, cosa vuole vedere la gente, e cosa non vede perché arriva qui):

- la casetta degli aristogatti immagine [ma la casetta degli Aristogatti non era un palazzo haussmanien del 1800 in piena Parigi? Alla faccia della casetta..]
- video di donne con la lingua che mangiano [chiedo alle donne che passano da qui: c'è qualcuna di voi capace di mangiare senza lingua?]
- aiace telamonio foto [nella Grecia arcaica esisteva già Flickr??]
-  chiappe deliziose pic [chiarire l'accezione di "deliziose", prego]

۞ Per la categoria SPLATTER (ovvero, cercate l’indirizzo di Dario Argento e proponetegli queste sceneggiature):

- “calci nelle palle da ragazze video” trovato anche nella variante “essere preso a calci da una bella ragazza” [contenti loro..]
- video porno ragazze con mazze da baseball [vedi sopra]
- spiaccicato torace [ma che schifo!]
- bill kaulitz con la ragazza [non so perché, ma mi sentivo di metterlo qui]

۞ Per la categoria SO-CHE-NON-ASPETTAVATE-ALTRO-CHE-QUESTA XXX (ovvero: segreti scabrosi della Ragazza con la Valigia porno):

- la ragazza con la valigia porno [famosissimo film starring la Ragazza con la Valigia, che potete trovare in tutti i distributori a fianco ai benzinai]
- segreti scabrosi [non avete idea di quanta gente approda qui ogni mese cercando dei segreti scabrosi]
- ragazze con il fiorellino aperto [parliamone: COS'E' il "fiorellino aperto"??]
- figa pelosa sulla bici [su una sedia, nel caso la trovassimo, andrebbe bene uguale?]
- fumare con la figa [acrobatico!]
- ragazzo con il pisello grossissimo [oh, grossissimo eh?! mica noccioline!]
- il cazzo di vin diesel [parla con quello sopra]
- il famoso “fotografie hard dentro le stalle dei cavalli” [ha bisogno di commenti?]
- super flautista daniela [cercala in qualche post precedente.. dovrebbe esserci]

Questo è quanto. The best of. Può essere che in un futuro aumentino.

PS. Molti mi chiedono anche consigli sulla “discoteca moulin rouge budapest“, “discoteca forte jolì bologna” e “istanbul discordia club“. Ma perché lo chiedono a me? Cosa ne so io??

felt the need to blog.

then the feeling disappeared.

evaporated into thin air.

just like a ninja.

yeah.

a ninja.

my brain is in a weird state.

don’t know what it thinks it is doing.

I only took a 15 minute break at work the other day.

then I showed up half an hour early the next.

and then I was in bed and asleep by midnight.

yeah.

crazy.

i’m okay with this though.

maybe it will become permanent.

time can only tell.

back to my ninja brain.

it just realized Simon Pegg is Scotty in Star Trek.

awesome.

my ninja brain feels like it got in a fight with another ninja.

ugh.

stupid ninjas.

i think i am ready for bed.

but i have to finish my ice cream instead.

and my movie.

i love Star Trek.

i also loved watching Up.

I cried.

in the first 5 minutes too.

it was awesome though.

not the crying part.

the movie.

haha.

hoping tomorrow is a good day.

it’s a monday.

let’s hope it’s a good monday.

i think this is it for today.

…lata days

Week after week (after week after week…), CollegeCandy and our pal John bring you some of the weirdest, funniest, and saddest things he hears on his college campus. And we know he’s not the only one who hears this stuff. Join the Overheard revolution! Listen in on some weirdos’ conversations and share them in the comments or send ‘em over. You know there’s a lot of funny things to be heard on your campus, so get to it. We’ll throw them in a future post!

(Girl, on the phone.)

Girl: Lil Wayne was in my dream last night! Yeah. He had a farm. No, I mostly just made fun of his voice a lot. “Hey, girl, who knew we’d have so much in common?” And I was like “Lil Wayne, I had no idea!”

(Professor, heard from outside a chemistry lecture hall.)

Prof: Okay. Now, imagine you’re all molecules. Good. But I hate molecules! Uh-oh, really bad!

(Two girls, talking at a library study table.)

Girl 1: Were they at least cute?
Girl 2: The girl was a cute Latina woman, but the guy had a scum-stache. I had to turn up my Walkman to drown out the squelching noises.

(English professor, in a small lecture.)

Prof: Government needs hospitals and other utilities to run smoothly. Something like the Starship Enterprise.
Student: ExCUSE me?
Prof: What?
Student: Have you … have you ever even seen an episode of Star Trek?

(Guy, girl, talking in the Music building.)

Guy: Did you see the tree-lighting ceremony that year?
Girl: No, was it good?
Guy: Yeah. Josh Groban got so turned on, he ate the microphone.

(Guy, at a bus stop.)

Guy: It’s November. I’m rolling. I’m all by myself. I’m rolling, and I think I’m gonna write a Christmas song.

(Two girls, coming out of an exam.)

Girl 1: Bombed it. That was terrible.
Girl 2: I think I did okay, actually.
Girl 1: And – damnit! And I forgot to water my veggies in FarmVille!

(Guys, coming out of the gym locker room.)

Guy 1: Miley Cyrus or Taylor Swift?
Guy 2: Probably Miley Cyrus. Taylor Swift looks like a cat that got hit by a makeup train.

(Guys, in the Student Union cafe.)

Guy 1: Dizzy Bat, flip cup, pong. What else.  Need some more.
Guy 2: Forty-hands?
Guy 1: Maybe.
Guy 3: Pitcher drink?
Guy 1: What’s that?
Guy 3: You drink until you pass out.

(Guy, waiting at  a Starbucks.)

Guy: Listen, if I’m gonna date a girl, I’m just saying, she’s gotta respect my ass. I got a pretty big ass. It demands a lot of respect.

If it is, where’s the question mark then?

Hmm… choose one from the two options

1. Taking something, knowing that you won’t ever do it and forever wondering what could have happened if you did; or

2. Never taking anything. Ignorance is bliss and you can’t miss something you never had.

Hmm…

To lighten the mood, here’s a picture of a Pandog:

P.S.

Interesting how Sandie Gadia failed to have a pair photo during The GUIDON’s 80th anniversary! HAHA

Jeg hadde besøk i går, så jeg glemte helt å blogge. Endre og Benjamin kommer idag også, så det blir nok kanskje ikke så mye blogging i dag heller. Men jeg  skal se om jeg kan få lagt inn ett inlegg senere i dag.

Altså. Igår hadde jeg nynorsktentamen og det gikk utrolig mye bedre enn forventa. Jeg fikk det bra til og var ferdig tidlig. I ellevetiden eller noe. Jeg syklet hjem og vel hjemme lagde mamma kakao også spiste vi rundstykker.
Oooooooops, glemte å publisere innlegget.

Sååååå:
Vertfall i dag hadde jeg besøk av Endre og Benjamin. Vi så på bilder, var på pcen også så vi på Olsenbanden på rocker’n. hahahaha. Det var utrolig koslig.

hihihihi.

♥Maria

Treceam molcom pe lângă un atelier auto. De obicei e o maşină în faţa, dar nimic deosebit. Ieri însă era parcat un Maseratti sclipitor. Proprietarul vorbea cu nea mecanicul. Sa trag cu urechea mi-am zis, ce naiba caută un Masseratti care arată ca nou la atelierul de pe strada mea.

Eeeeee şi aici vine partea interesantă. Norocosul italian posesor al unei masini italiene se plângea că după ultima ploaie a găsit apă pe scaunul şoferului.

Auzind acestea, mi-am spus, în sinea mea: Ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhaha

hahaha a mais pura verdade, né?  =)

da galeria de stitch out loud

The fortress burns.

Why’ve you ever forgotten me?

Broken my heart.

I’m the wizard, I will change it all.

I leave this world.

Why’ve you ever forgotten me?

All Gods are gone.

Smother… me.