Morcambe & Wise

Rhubarb & Custard

Marc Almond & David Ball

Simon Pegg & Nick Frost

Itchy & Scratchy

The Doctor & Sarah Jane

Hammer & Tongs

Richie Rich & Eddie Catflap

Everything But The Girl

Simon Pegg & Jessica Stevenson

Tom Jones vs. Ram Jam vs. C&C Music Factory – Black Betty mash-up…

“Homer!” I exclaim. “You said ‘brains’!”

“He’s a zombie, Numb-Nuts,” Ace tells me. “Of course he says braiiinsss.”

“Not Homer – he only says ‘home’ and ‘good’ usually,” I point out. “Maybe that bump on the head has fixed him…”

“I’m less concerned with his vocabulary, than his answer to ‘What does the Pterydactyl want?’ being ‘braiiinsss’,” Carvery cuts in.

We all look at the giant perching bird-lizard on the head of the metal gurney, as we squeal precariously onwards down the underground tracks.

“It’s how they survived for so long,” Luke mumbles.

“You mean, how they failed to die out,” Carvery replies. “Zombie dinos. That’s all we need.”

My bladder contracts to the size of a pea at his words.

And yes, I do mean ‘pea’. Not the alternative spelling, or meaning. I wonder how long it’s been since I last went. And if I can hold it this time.

“You mean, there could be others?” I whisper.

“You know, on this tin bedstead, we look just as though we could be in a dino-sized take-out carton,” Ace pipes up cheerfully. “Chef’s Special Noodles.”

“Don’t you mean Brain’s Special Faggots?” I say sourly, and get a clip around the ear.

“Chicken Balls in Cowardy Custard?” Luke suggests.

“We’ll be Crispy Sitting Duck in a minute,” says Carvery.

“Spaaare Riiibs,” Homer agrees, and pokes me in the right mammary, with a bony gray knuckle.

“You are improving, Homer,” Ace observes. “Although I don’t think there’s much going spare on Sarah.”

“You wish,” I mutter, aping Carvery Slaughter’s most typical comeback – only not loud enough to be heard, of course.

“When we’ve all stopped discussing Tit Wings and Brain Crackers, it might be an idea to figure out what to do about not becoming a buffet,” Carvery reminds us. “Like she says, how many of those things are likely to be out there? And if we shortchange this one, will it piss them all off?”

An eerie hooting and cawing echoes around us, in the darkness.

“Okay,” Carvery continues. “There are lots more of them. That answers that question.”

“This is all my fault!” I bawl at last, unable to stop myself.

“No, really?” Ace snaps sarkily.

“Really!” I blub into my sleeve. “Crispin was trying to make me a job offer to be his new secretary, and I mentioned someone – well, a corpse – at the Body Farm, and it made him cross. And it was me that knocked Homer out as well, earlier. I’m so sorry. And now we’re hurtling into the middle of the Earth on a gurney to be eaten by zombie Pterydactyls, and it’s all my fault!”

“This is happening because you turned down a job?” Ace says, incredulous. “Wow. How big does your head feel on a normal day, Sarah?”

“Not nearly as big as yours, when you figure out it’s only because she’d rather stalk you with a pizza,” Carvery remarks. “I’m going to shoot this bird in a minute just because I’m bored, you realise…”

There is a sudden whoosh, and another thud in the middle of the bunk, between us and the monster.

Only a brief impression of a tattered black suit and a rope tell us anything…

“Crispin!” I gasp, raising the Trevor Baylis torch, to confirm who has unexpectedly dropped in.

He turns, and his black eyes seem to flash.

“We will need this,” he says, tonelessly – and extends the rope, with the noose at the end.

With a flick of his wrist, he lassoes the unwary Pterydactyl.

“What are you doing?” Luke shrieks. “Are you crazy?”

“There is an alternative, if you prefer.” Crispin nods behind us, in the direction we are heading.

We look.

Funny. Molten lava does appear exactly the same as Hollywood would have us believe…

…And every ledge on the way down seems to be lined with teeth…

“Is that a…” Carvery begins.

“Zombisaurus Rex,” Ace grins, as we fly past, its ash-white jaws closing just short on the burnt air in our wake. The torchlight shines right through its battle-scarred ribcage, its heart a pulsating blackened mess, dribbling clotted opaque slime.

Oh my God… it’s like wishing you’d never peeked into the back of the ambulance… and those jaws alone could contain a whole dormitory, never mind one lonely narrow metal bunk…

“Pull up the corners of the blanket,” Crispin orders, taking charge once more. “It should be able to hold us all.”

We scoot to the middle and bunch up the corners, like a hastily-grabbed picnic cloth in the rain. Standing in the centre, Crispin secures the end of the rope around the scrunched-up hem, so that we are enclosed in a tight, sweaty bundle – a hobo’s worldly possessions.

“Mr. Slaughter,” Crispin says, after checking the tension in the knots. “Please fire a shot to alarm the beast. But not to hit it.”

“There’s a lot of it not to hit,” Carvery grumbles, but manages to lean out of a fold in the blanket anyway, to check his lack of aim. Ace and Luke each grab hold of one of his legs to weight him down, and Carvery hollers, his voice slightly muffled. “Tell Sarah if she goes near my ass, she’ll lose her teeth!”

“Yeah, I heard that about your ass!” I shout back, and clap a hand over my own mouth, horrified.

Did I say that out loud?!

Being below sea-level must be having a serious effect on my self-control…

But fortunately for me, everyone seems to have other concerns right now…

“Here we go,” Crispin announces, grimly.

The gun roars.

And with a shriek, the Pterydactyl protests, and apparently flaps free of the head-rail.

We all crack heads as we collide in the bottom of the blanket, and I taste Pirelli-flavoured vulcanised rubber as Carvery’s heel catches me in the mouth.

I remember thinking, Ahhh – so that’s what he meant about teeth…

But then the ominous sound of tearing from below, and a squeak of terror from Luke indicates something else…

“We’re caught on a spring!” Ace calls out.

“Mr. Slaughter!” Crispin shouts. “Shoot us free of the bunk!”

“Watch it!” yells Luke. “My ass is hanging half out of that hole already!”

“Better clench then, buddy!” Carvery’s voice warns.

There is a second resounding boom from outside. The Pterydactyl screams indignantly at the noise. And a sudden sensation of weightlessness, as we are catapulted into the air…

Original trailer for ‘A Town Called Panic/Panique au Village’ en Francais – Enjoy

More mindless mayhem: The Zombie Adventures of Sarah Bellum

Also available for all other devices, and online reading, on Smashwords

This is the first set of Brian Brazeal style hammer tongs Kainon and I made.

Kainon and I finished the first set of Brian Brazeal style hammer tongs on Thursday at the Zilker Botanical Garden Forge. We are pretty happy with the results, Kainon did the majority of the striking and final shaping on these and I assisted as needed.  Kainon downloaded the specs and some photos of the tongs in various stages of completion, we puzzled out our first pair over the course of two days. We started mine after these were done and got them almost finished today. The second pair has gone much faster as we have made many adjustments to our technique and improved our efficiency dramatically.

The first side tapered, punched, and bent.

Kainon finishes the bend on the second rein.

You can see the printed photo instructions on the chest behind Kainon in the shot above. He and I spent quite a while discussing how we would proceed with the fabrication of the tongs. We got very focused and were able to really capitalize on our ability to work as team on this project.

Unfortunately we punched the first rein off-center, we decided to remake the entire thing after this point.

This is the replacement rein we made after punching.

We also discovered we did the punching out of sequence, we should have bent the reins and then done the slot punch. It really didn’t effect us too badly, the slots remained open and in the right orientation for drifting anyway.

The first slot has been drifted and the drift is visible under the rein.

You can see in the photo above we have finished the bends and rounded the ends of the tongs to Brian’s preferred shape. The first hole has been drifted for the rivet and we are ready to drift the second rein.

The finished tongs look and work great, we had a great time playing with them before starting on the second pair.

I will have to take photos of the riveting on the second pair. Kainon and I got in a hurry to finish these and stopped taking photos every few minutes. I took the last couple shots on the way out to the parking lot, that’s how focused we got. I promise I will post photos for the final steps involving riveting, final shaping and refinement, etc.

Thanks for having a look and have fun!

I was sitting around waiting for an artist manager to get back to me regarding an interview request when an email from the above mentioned band popped into my mailbox.  Paying close attention like I always do, I didn’t see the 77, only the El Deora.   El Deora?  But I don’t play Spanish/Mexican/Latino music, I thought to myself.  What could these people want?  As I scanned the message several words caught my eye.  Honky tonk.  Cheatin’.  Lyin’.  Drinkin’, to name a few.  Hey wait a minute, they’re speaking my language after all.  It was starting to become clear that this was not some Mariachi band trying to break out of the suburban, corporate Mexican chain restaurant circuit but was instead, in their words, “a 5-piece alt. country/Americana outfit.”   From the San Francisco Bay Area no less.  The place where I spent the first 28 years of my life.  Now that’s what I’m talking about!

I clicked on the four samples they sent me from their new CD, “Hammer & Tongs,” and before the last one was done I was typing a reply, inquiring as to how I could get my hands on their tunes and get them into the rotation.  While I waited for the response I poked around their website, http://77eldeora.com and found out quite a bit more about the band including the origin of the name.  The ’77 El Deora was apparently an after-market version of a Cadillac El Dorado.  That’s cool.  Works for me.  I could go on and on about my discoveries but that would just be rehashing information that’s already been written.  You’re going to want to go to their site yourself and learn more.  Trust me.

Anyway, I got a quick response pointing me to a site where I could download complimentary copies of all the tracks from their two albums.  Of course I, technological savant that I’m not, could not get my aging laptop to perform the simplest of duties.

Exercising as much patience as I do when I’m stuck behind a Toyota Prius driving over The Grapevine, I decided that their music was so good that I had to have it that instant.  So rather than wait for the solution that I had requested from the band or place a call to India for tech support, I went to iTunes and bought all of their available music.  At that moment, only the first CD, “Sirens” was available on iTunes so I picked two great tracks from my new stash and got them on the air right away.

Later that day I got my tech issue fixed (I don’t just have an issue, I have a whole subscription) and I got the free tracks including the ones from their new CD.  Was I sorry I spent the money?  Hell no.  If my tiny contribution will help them continue to make great music then it was completely worth it.

The bottom line here is when a broadcaster falls all over himself to buy music you can bet that music is special.  77 El Deora is special and I’ve got the credit card receipt to prove it.

Radiohead
Lotus Flower

Lists, to men, are like catnip to cats. We can’t resist them. It doesn’t matter what it is, we’ll create a list for it. It’s our anally retentive side coming into play; we like to know everything has its place. Most men I think can name their favourite albums, movies (and perhaps girlfriends) in a specific order since we’ve had every waking day to think about it.

When we forget to take the rubbish out, or wash up, it’s probably because we’re making a mental list of something (boring household chores perhaps…)

Lists are also endlessly used in television.

No doubt you will have sat through the Top 100 Singles of All Time, Your Favourite Films Ever or Top 100 Celebrity Sex Scandals – all the cheapest of TV formats and laziest of concepts, which is why they usually end up on satellite channels you’d rarely watch otherwise. They bring out the same D- and C-list celebrities (who’d turn up to the opening of a Coke can) to sit in front of a brightly-coloured animated backdrop – similar in style to a Lava Lamp – and then talk about an event/film/album/song/person the producer had reminded them about a few minutes earlier was such an important part in their life. The better celebrities may retell an amusing anecdote; most will resort to just laughing about nothing (the more they laugh, the more we’ll notice their smug faces while we’re drifting off to sleep) and talking bullshit.

“Oh yeah – haha – this one time my brother and me were – haha – were listening to this Queen song and doing that thing they do in Wayne’s World – haha – and – haha – my brother hit his head on the window of the car! Haha (remember me from that obscure show five years ago?… No?…I was great, honest…)“

However – and the producers of these shows know it – there’s something strangely addictive about them. Even if you get the most irritating celebrity most of all; stitching all the segments together with a witty thing to say before and after each advert break.

One of the worst example of this was probably David Gest (winner of I’m a Celebrity, Get Me Out Of Here!) presenting the 100 Best Michael Jackson Songs (or something). It was an old show, repeated especially for the death of MJ. The embarrassing links provided by Mr. Gest reached their apex when he announced something along the lines of “You’ll live forever, Michael – you’re the best!”. David? I’m Embarrassed, Get Me Out Of Here!

Blogs also use this format. It’s a sure-fire way of getting people looking at your blog – people love lists remember!

So, all this being said, for the sake of both selfish amusement and the irony of my last paragraph, I’m going to resort to a list myself.

This list is (as you will have noticed from the title) regarding The Ten Best Music Videos in the World… Ever! (The title inspired by all those compilation albums from the late ’90s – in fact, they’re probably still churning them out).

The reason I’m picking music videos is that, by chance, I was watching MTV and between the irritatingly inane shows they put on, and the endless Rihanna videos, something interesting (and refreshingly pleasant on the ears) came on. Something with a wonderful hand drawn style featuring a superhero fighting squirrels and things to reach the princess in distress. The video is number one on my list (which is actually not in any particular order) and it inspired this little blog entry, so blame it for any boredom caused for this post.

It’s worth saying that I’ve been a fan of music videos ever since I got MTV2 a long time ago (in the good old days before it turned into the channel for Shit American Rock), so I know my Michel Gondry from my Chris Cunningham. There are many, many wonderful music videos around (and really, the top ten directors would have been more appropriate since so many are consistently fantastic) but leave any comments if you think I’ve missed out something really amazing.

1. Coldplay “Strawberry Swing” directed by Shynola. View on YouTube
This the first Coldplay video I’ve loved. The others have been okay, but either linked to a damn durge of a song (The Scientist) or just a bit too odd for their own good (Don’t Panic). The basic concept is that Chris Martin is a superhero on a background drawn, with chalk, on a pavement. Obviously this kind of effect could have been achieved in a computer but it seems Shynola actually hand-drew the damn thing with Chris Martin balancing/laying/hand-standing for each frame – I imagine having to wait for the artists to finish each drawing. To someone lacking patience like myself (I love animation but really, it’s boring as hell doing it frame by frame – see this fantastic Fast Show sketch) this makes Chris Martin an absolute star in my books (as if the rest of the world didn’t already consider himself one).

As for the song itself, I didn’t actually think much of it when I first listened to the album (to the point where, on seeing the video, I wondered whether it was even on an album) but now, I listen to it on an almost daily basis.

Users on YouTube obviously love it as well… “this is the most coolest video i have ever seen” is one of the more insightful comments.

It’s a rare but wonderful thing when a music video makes you like a song even more – or even to notice it at all. It doesn’t happen very often, but when it does it makes for a great experience. You’re able to listen to the song at any time and, even if the lyrics don’t connect specifically with you or if they are too abstract in the song to relate to anything, being reminded of the video makes it much more visual. It’s like a soundtrack album to a movie but in reverse, I’ve listened to The Shawshank Redemption soundtrack countless times, and it always evokes memories of the film (which is my favourite by the way – I’m sure I’ll do a ten ten movies as well some time…)

The talented artists behind this video are called Shynola who created the wonderful animations for The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy (one of the better things about the film) along with countless other videos – their best listed below, check ‘em out as they say in the States.

• Blur “Good Song” – Drawings by my favourite cartoonist, David Shrigley, animated – again, making an otherwise fairly pedestrian song come to life in what I think is the funniest music video I’ve ever seen, although I appreciate it’s not to everyone’s taste. View on YouTube

• UNKLE “Eye for an Eye” – An amazing video about cute little things running around their happy place being duped into drinking from giant nipples by an evil race of wasp things that then assimilate them all and take over their land. A thinly veiled political comment about the way the West come in, guns blazing, promising a better life and leave having destroyed everything. Well, I think that’s what it’s about anyway. It’s an amazing song and I bought the album because of this, which is lucky because it was, in my view, the best album of that year. View on YouTube

• Junior Senior “Move Your Feet” – I’m of the Commodore 64 generation, so anything with pixel graphics gets my vote, and it doesn’t get any better than this. It’s a crazy song (let’s face it – gay as cheese) and sounds like Terence and Philip from South Park singing, but it fits the video perfectly. As before, I bought the album after this, which is why I refuse to put this video in the overall Top Ten; the album is beyond terrible. View on YouTube

2. Radiohead “Street Spirit (Fade Out)” directed by Jonathan Glazer. View on YouTube
In those good old days on MTV2 that I spoke about with tear-filled nostalgic eyes earlier, this video was one of the most shown – with good reason. It’s a great song for a start. I’m not a massive Radiohead fan (I think they’re vastly overrated) but this one is tortured, weird and has a great tune.

The video ticks several boxes for me:

It’s in black and white (almost everything looks better in black and white); it has bits that are slowed down; bits that speed up; jumping nuns; locusts flying in slow motion; evil dogs; Thom Yorke looking weird; band member, Jonny Greenwood looking like a woman (many women would kill for his figure); glass smashing and someone falling over on their chair.

It’s put together with so much style that you can forgive them for what I imagine amounts to just a ‘brainstorming’ session where they thought “would would look cool slowed down in black and white”.

I’m sure there are many more videos considered better than this but this just sticks with me far more than most, I think due to its haunting nature and probably just that it’s, in my opinion, Radiohead’s best song.

The director is top of his class with a string of fantastic videos to his name. He also directed the wonderful film, Sexy Beast, which, if you haven’t seen, needs to be watched as soon as you can; Ben Kingsley should have gotten an Oscar for it. If that wasn’t enough, he’s the man behind the Guinness ad with the horses in the sea, the Sony Bravia ad with the exploding towerblocks of paint and the Levi’s ad with the emaciated boy and girl jumping through walls in order to reach space (apparently the most expensive advert ever at the time).

Other great videos by Jonathan Glazer:

• Jamiroquai “Virtual Insanity” – The irritatingly popular Jay Kay prances about with his stupid hat while the furniture moves around. Very cleverly done (albeit quite simple when you know how) and an example of a really good pop video, which is quite a rarity. View on YouTube

• UNKLE “Rabbit in Your Headlights” – A scruffy man walking down a tunnel, mumbling to himself, getting hit by cars. I’ve no idea what he’s thinking about (I read that he’s trying to work out the meaning of life) but the ending is spectacular. View on YouTube

3. Bjork “All is Full of Love” directed by Chris Cunningham. View on YouTube
This is one of the first videos (I think) released as a DVD single and it was the perfect video for the format. It’s stark and fascinating (like Bjork herself I suppose) and manages to be beautifully classy, despite the ridiculous premise (two robots, both with Bjork’s face, ‘get jiggy with it’ whilst robot arms prod them and cover them with something suspiciously milky and white).

The director, Chris Cunningham, has a something of a midas touch giving all his work a strange, sometimes scary, stylish as hell look that must be damn difficult to do.

In an ideal world, he’d direct an Alien film. Maybe one day…

Two of his other videos for you to look at (do a Google search for his others – they’re all great):

• Madonna “Frozen” – I think it’s Madonna’s best video. Not much happens, she’s a bit goth, she’s in the desert, there’s a black dog… but it’s a great song and it gives me a warm fuzzy feeling seeing Madonna grown-up, sensible, and not jumping around in a leotard telling people they’re ‘motherfuckers’ and pretending to be twenty again. View on YouTube

• Aphex Twin “Windowlicker” – One of life’s great annoyances for me (proving I don’t have too many) is that music as God-awful as Aphex Twin gets to have a decent video to go with it. This video is wonderfully stylish, funny, strange, freaky and deserves mention because it highlights the ridiculous conventions set in rap videos where some idiots ogle girls in bikinis. This video is the antithesis of The Thong Song. View on YouTube

4. A-Ha “Take on Me” directed by Steve Barron View on YouTube
Given my love of animation and ’80s music, it’s no big surprise that this is in my list and I think most people of my age remember this video very vividly (even down to the “Nice Cold Ice Cold Milk” poster in the cafe that haunted my youth in the school canteen).

Looking back, the video is extremely cheesy but the animation is so well done it’s easy to forgive it. I also wish they’d resisted the temptation to shoehorn the rest of the band into the video using crappy footage of them playing their instruments against a suitably ‘comic book’ style background. (The same problems haunt videos these days as well – it’s so much better when a band’s ego-driven demand to feature in the video doesn’t get in the way).

The director was very successful during this period, working on loads of other memorable videos but none were really as innovative as Take on Me.

5. The BPA “Toe Jam” directed by Keith Schofield View on YouTube
The BPA (or Brighton Port Authority) is a Fat Boy Slim (aka Norman Cook) project and this, the first release, comes with a fantastically inventive video.

To explain it would ruin the joke of it, so just watch and smile…

6. The White Stripes “Fell in Love with a Girl” directed by Michel Gondry View on YouTube
When I was young (here he goes again with nostalgia) I loved Lego and animated little things with it as well. I imagine the director, Michel Gondry, did the same when he was growing up since this video (like most of his actually) has a whimsical quality.

It’s a video comprised solely of animated Lego blocks. People swimming, the band singing and playing their instruments, running – everything damn difficult to animate anyway, especially in Lego.

Michel Gondry has a knack for doing really complex things (‘high concept’ should be his middle name), as his other videos prove even further. He’s now mainly doing feature films (Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind being one) which is a shame as I think his ideas suit a short running time much better.

More of his videos:

• Kylie Minogue “Come Into My World” – Kylie must have gotten dizzy making this video; several versions of her walk around several times in a circle. I have no idea how he co-ordinated a shoot like this but it’s wonderfully done. View on YouTube

• Massive Attack “Protection” – A great video with the camera moving into different windows of a big house. It doesn’t sound exciting and, well, it isn’t really, but it’s a great video. View on YouTube

• Bjork “Bachelorette” – Difficult to describe, this video starts with a story being told and then a theatre production based on that story played out within it. Just watch it, it’s fantastic. View on YouTube

7. Blur “Coffee & TV” directed by Hammer & Tongs View on YouTube
Like Shynola, Hammer & Tongs are another group of talented chaps that have worked on many videos and they all (well, the ones I’ve seen) tend to have a humourous slant which defines their style.

Coffee & TV is the tale of a little milk carton that goes off on a little quest to find a missing person. It’s the kind of video that appeals to everyone; it’s funny, cute and there’s even a bit of emotion in there as well for the kind of people that cry over spilt milk.

They’re now doing feature films as well. Their first, Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy was good, but flawed. Their latest – Son of Rambow – is supposed to be very good but I’ve not seen it yet unfortunately.

Hammer & Tongs have worked on many great videos, but two of my other favourites are below:

• REM “Imitation of Life” – Worth watching for Michael Stipe’s interesting dance moves as well as the technical cleverness involved. It’s a piece of camcorder footage that keeps running forward, then backwards for twenty seconds at a time – we zoom into parts of the video to see details. A tough one to explain, but worth watching, and it’s a nice little tune! View on Spike (I couldn’t find a version on YouTube with audio)

• Fatboy Slim “Right Here, Right Now” – Evolution squeezed into 3:30 minutes with a great social comment at the end. Well, I think it’s meant like that anyway, or it’s just that they wanted to end with the guy from the album cover. View on YouTube

8. David Bowie “Ashes to Ashes” directed by David Mallet View on YouTube
It makes no bloody sense at all, but it’s an example of a really inventive video when music videos were still very ‘new’ (it was back in 1983 – MTV had only been around a couple of years at that point. It was also was less shit than now). I think it was the most expensive video ever at the time due to its use of the fancy video effects (things we can all do on an iPhone these days with the correct app).

Director, David Mallet, directed loads of rock videos (specialising on Queen and AC/DC, strangely) but this is, I think, his most famous.

Of all these videos, it’s probably the one you’ll disagree with the most. “It looks crap”, mate, “You’re getting nostalgic and losing your sense of style.” But, there’s just something about it that I love. I’m not a big David Bowie fan particularly, but there’s something wonderful about him walking down the beach dressed like an idiot with an old woman wagging her finger at him (and telling him not to trust Major Tom).

9. Michael Jackson “Thriller” directed by John Landis View on YouTube
I include this video a little reluctantly as every damn list of “best music videos ever” has this in it, but it really has to be. I’m not a fan of musicals (I turned Chicago off after the DVD menu) but there’s something mesmerising about a really great piece of choreography.

There’s also the fact that this music video was an ‘event’. I was too young to remember it at the time but enough people have told me how they stayed up late to watch it to make me think that perhaps it was more of a big deal than we can appreciate these days. The Internet has ruined things a bit really… we don’t have ‘events’ any more, do we?

Anyway, the director’s other films include American Werewolf in London (that qualified him to make Thriller really), Trading Places and Coming to America so that makes him damn good in my book.

10. Massive Attack “Teardrop” directed by Walter Stern View on YouTube
God knows how a video comprised entirely of a foetus singing can be so good, but it really is.

The director is another fairly prolific one, working on videos for Prodigy, David Bowie, Madonna and INXS as well as another two for Massive Attack.

Another of his videos:

• Verve “Bitter Sweet Symphony” A riff on Massive Attack’s video for Unfinished Sympathy, this was the video that, thanks to Richard Ashcroft walking down the road like an arrogant bastard, helped launch Verve into the public eye when we already had arrogant bastards, Oasis. View on YouTube

So, that’s it.

You’ll have noticed that I’ve cheated a little bit by including other videos from some of the directors (making the list far more than just ten) but I don’t care, it’s my list, I can do what I want with it.

There are, however, some other videos I’ve not mentioned that I feel I should for various reasons – those are listed below. Have a look at all of them if you find the time!

Leftfield “Swords” View on YouTube
Summary: A bunch of people in cars, singing along to a chilled out track. I find it mesmerising.

Fatboy Slim “Weapon of Choice” View on YouTube
It’s Christopher Walken. Dancing. Nothing more needs to be said.

Supermen Lovers “Starlight” View on YouTube
Traditionally, 3D animation tends to be quite slick but here the animator has gone at great lengths to make the characters as ugly as possible. It’s a great little story and strangely emotional at the end!

Elbow “One Day Like This” View on YouTube
I’m including this partly because the song is wonderful but also because I think the video is so strange. It doesn’t match the lyrics at all but just focuses on one guy finding joy doing a mundane job. Beautiful.

Nizlopi “JCB” View on YouTube
A wonderfully nostalgic little song with a video to match.

Super Furry Animals “It’s Not the End of the World?” View on YouTube
Another great piece of 3D animation.

Pet Shop Boys “I’m With Stupid” View on YouTube
I’ve never been a fan of the Pet Shop Boys’ videos, but this one is great since it’s the guys from Little Britain doing a terrible (yet accurate) impression of Neil Tennant and Chris Lowe.

Peter Gabriel “Sledgehammer” View on YouTube
Most ‘top video’ lists include this at a high position because it was groundbreaking (and it marked the arrival of Aardman Animation – the makers of Wallace and Gromit). It is a very clever video, and perhaps the Coldplay video I mentioned at the beginning of the list wouldn’t have existed were it not for this. Oh, and it’s about shagging, but you knew that…

Definitely not on any of my lists:

Queen “Bohemian Rhapsody” Don’t View on YouTube
Just plain awful.

I hope you liked this list and feel free to write a comment challenging me on any of my picks. I’m sure I’ve left out some great videos, so tell me and I’ll be happy to rethink any of the ones above if you prove that I’m wrong in some way.

For some successful feature film directors, the music video has provided a useful training ground. For creating a mood, a visual signature or crafting a short, soundtracked story, there is no better medium. The director doesn’t need to worry about getting a script together, auditioning (let’s just use the band, that’s what the fans want to look at) or even making much sense. Yet, if the director does a good job, the video will play back in listeners’ minds every time they catch a bit of the song – just think of Blur’s Coffee & TV (1999), with that adorable little milk carton on a mission to find the missing Graham Coxon. You see?

Working with an act that’s about to become big – or is already there – can also introduce an existing fan base to the director’s work. Cast your mind back to 1999 and Fatboy Slim’s single, Praise You, the one with the amateur dance troupe giving an impromptu show in an anonymous shopping mall. The song hit number one in the UK charts, and the video, directed by (and featuring) then-rising star Spike Jonze, deserved its three MTV Video Music Awards, and made its director hugely famous.

The added advantage of making a music video is that it can really help the director to get noticed by powerful people, for instance, when Drew Barrymore scouted out McG to direct Charlie’s Angels (2000). Similarly, Björk’s admiration of Michel Gondry’s videos for his formed-in-school band, Oui Oui, led him on the path to the successful career he now enjoys.

Here’s a look at five directors have made the leap from music videos to feature films:

Michel Gondry

Michel Gondry’s strength lies in his quirky visuals, and his beginnings in making videos for equally oddball Björk gave him ample opportunity to experiment. His video for her first solo single, 1993’s Human Behaviour (http://bit.ly/DiXPk), includes animated cuddly animals, clouds that look as though they’re made out of cotton wool and sudden moves between settings that are reminiscent of dreams. His three most famous feature films, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind (2004), The Science of Sleep (2006) and Be Kind Rewind (2008), share this kind of hand-crafted look.

Some of Gondry’s other videos utilise effects that he is clearly fond of, as they crop up in his later, longer work. The video for Wyclef Jean’s ‘Another One Bites the Dust’ (1998; http://bit.ly/cr2wV) has a live-action cartoon feel, with Jean carrying around and singing to a model of Freddy Mercury, and a car that is much bigger on the inside than it is on the outside. All three of Gondry’s features have similarly cute props and sets.

His films show that he is also fond of playing with impossible scenarios, such as doubles of characters popping up, and this effect can be seen in Kylie Minogue’s Come into my World (2002; http://bit.ly/11z44o) and The White Stripes’ The Hardest Button to Button (2003; http://bit.ly/nEUqU). Only music videos could have given Gondry the freedom to experiment with his visual language, without worrying about a storyline. In much of his feature work, he has left that side of things down to writer/producer Charlie Kaufman.

Spike Jonze

Like Gondry, Spike Jonze is also a Kaufman collaborator, and worked with Björk and Daft Punk, who seem to embrace unusual, memorable video-making. Jonze’s video for Björk’s 1995 single, It’s Oh So Quiet (http://bit.ly/sr9NN), reached number four in the UK and, thanks to continuous play of the video on MTV, hit number nine in the US charts. The video features surreal elements, such as Björk dancing with a post box, and then floating up into the sky towards the camera at the end, clearly signposting his interest in pushing the boundaries of realism, which can also be seen in Being John Malkovich (1999) and Adaptation (2002).

Jonze’s music videos also display a delight in choreography – Björk makes her way through town dancing with anyone she meets in the up tempo sections of Quiet; Fatboy Slim’s Praise You even has Jonze leading the dance troupe himself; and of course Fatboy Slim single, Weapon of Choice (2001; http://bit.ly/10uonN), featuring the extraordinary dancing talents of Christopher Walken, which won a Grammy for Best Short Form Video. Sadly, dancing hasn’t really come up in his films that much – maybe there’ll be some room for it in his next project, an adaptation of Maurice Sendak’s children’s book, Where the Wild Things Are (to be released later this year; http://bit.ly/AoMRr)?

Anton Corbijn

Anton Corbijn started out as a music photographer in 1976, and his photos of Dutch music sensation Herman Brood helped propel both men towards fame. The photography garnered Corbijn an invite to start making music videos in 1983, and the stylised cinematography that defines the look of his feature film, Control (2007) can be seen in much of his work.

Corbijn’s videos for Nirvana’s Heart-Shaped Box (1993; http://bit.ly/EzJPg) and Mercury Rev’s Goddess on a Highway (1998; http://bit.ly/UWm8Z) show his photographer’s eye for setting the scene. In Box, a wizened Father Christmas climbs onto a cross and becomes Jesus, while Nirvana rock out under a discordant, vivid orange sky, the visual equivalent of their music. In Goddess, the video starts out sepia-toned, muted, but colour is suddenly introduced with the appearance of the gold-painted miniature Statues of Liberty as the chase gets underway.

Earlier than these videos, back in the ‘80s, Corbijn directed the video for Joy Division’s single, Atmosphere (1988; http://bit.ly/dUlcF), eight years after Ian Curtis’ death. The video is shot in black and white – like Control – set in bleak, slightly frightening landscapes peopled by strange people in hooded garments. He uses stills of Ian Curtis and the band, and the whole unsettling effect fits well with the typically downbeat, deep vocals of Curtis. This video, more than any other in Corbijn’s impressive back catalogue, is the stylistic precursor to Control.

David Fincher

David Fincher eschewed film school, instead starting out loading cameras and then working on the sets of two of the Indiana Jones movies. As befitting the director of Se7en (1995), Fight Club (1999) and The Curious Case of Benjamin Button (2008), his music videos are often dramatic and strikingly lit.

Two of his videos for Madonna, Vogue (1990; http://bit.ly/fxsM2) and Express Yourself (1989; http://bit.ly/12evaK) have a film noir look, with the former shot in stark black and white, and the latter featuring blue neon lighting and Madonna made up to look like a ‘40s femme fatale. Similarly, his video for Aerosmith’s Janie’s Got a Gun (1989; http://bit.ly/QxkRy) opens with a crime scene (shades of Se7en) and the drama is enhanced by the black and white filming of Steven Tyler singing, lit up by rays of blinding white light.

Lighting and silhouette also dominates the video for George Michael’s Freedom ‘90 (1990; http://bit.ly/nKuWV), wherein various supermodels lip-sync to his voice and writhe around in darkened rooms illuminated by blue neon light coming through the window, a device that induces a feeling of claustrophobia, and proves useful in Fight Club.

Hammer & Tongs

This UK duo consists of director Garth Jennings and producer Nick Goldsmith, who began making music videos in the mid-90s, and now have two feature films to their name, The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy (2005) and Son of Rambow (2007).

Their most memorable work would have to be the video for Blur’s 1998 single, Coffee & TV (http://bit.ly/3XGdd), which follows a milk carton (‘Milky’, who was sold at auction in 1999) who sets off on a mission to find the missing Graham Coxon, and, on the way, encounters love, death and heaven. The milk carton puppet was made by Jim Henson’s Creature Shop, and his facial features and epic journey give a narrative backbone to an otherwise nice but repetitive song. Dealing with puppets and other such props would crop up again in Hitchhiker’s.

The twosome’s video for Travis’s Driftwood (1999; http://bit.ly/wbHIO) fits the gentle, nostalgic song perfectly, with a dreamy rendition of a school photo in progress. From watching this video, it is unsurprising to find that that Hammer & Tongs’s second feature, Son of Rambow, which draws heavily upon their ‘80s childhoods, was postponed by the offer of Hitchhiker’s; it was the film that they had wanted to make first. That feeling of longing to recreate the past permeates the Driftwood video; they only had to wait eight years to use that in a feature film, but they got there in the end.

Set in England during an undetermined year in the 1980s, “Son of Rambow” is shot with resounding confidence, consistently providing lovely visuals, immaculate framing and a magical tone. Infused with songs of the era, the soundtrack is bolstered by the beguiling original music from composer Joby Talbot, equal parts jaunty, intense and evocative. “Son of Rambow” seems less an homage to Stallone’s cable classic than a paean to unbridled enthusiasm for filmmaking; it’s as though a burgeoning Spielberg grew up in Essex and was handed a FilmFour budget.

The story presents a taciturn pre-teen, Will Proudfoot (Bill Milner), who cherishes a notebook of imaginative illustrations. Milner suggests the innocence of the young Lukas Haas in “Witness.” His father has recently passed prematurely and Mary, his concerned mother, aptly played by Jessica Hynes, has sought succor in her life-long faith. After a school incident, he meets chav-in-training Lee Carter, (Will Poulter), who has a face like a bruised orange and a penchant for juvenile delinquency. A reference to Steve McQueen’s baseball scenes in “The Great Escape” only enhances his anti-authoritarian streak, a mode of behavior perhaps a consequence of far afield parents. While possessing disparate temperaments, the duo quickly bond. Enthralled to find a visceral outlet for his artistic impulses, Will is the perfect companion to help Lee complete his nascent movie being filmed on a camera gained by questionable means.

A wonderful comic presence and a rival for Will’s attention is provided by the introduction of slinky French exchange student, Didier (Jules Sitruk), whose androgynous curls, skinny jeans and pointed red boots have him resembling an honor roll candidate at an Andre Symone summer camp.

However, while the film is consistently amusing – with visual gags abounding — the story is still tinged with the realistic perils of pubescence. A flashback told to Will by his mother about a sacrifice forced upon her as a young girl is moving and meaningful. The flashback packs a punch with only a few well-crafted images. To suggest that the scene illustrates the filmmakers’ background as video directors is no slur. There’s an economy of visuals which evokes genuine emotion. It’s a deftly designed vignette and also reminds you that the film could have presented Hynes — best known by her maiden name Jessica Stevenson for roles in the classic television comedies “The Royle Family” and “Spaced” — with a more substantive role.

And this may be a regret which can be translated to the entire movie. The film at times feels as though it’s skimming instead of delving. Yet this is more a mere trifle than a complaint. “Son of Rambow” avoids twee sentiment. And the denouement which in lesser hands would have oozed with hokiness is heartfelt and understated.

“Skills on toast,” Lee exclaims after a particularly pleasing shot, and Hammer + Tongs have spread skills all over this film. Much like Michel Gondry‘s “Be Kind Rewind” earlier this year, “Son of Rambow” finds earnestness and sincerity in a film re-creation plot pining for mockery. And, as with Gondry, one looks forward to the next venture from an abundantly talented and original voice.

2008 may very well be the year in which the main cinematic trend was in putting the camera in the hands of the characters, for them to document (Cloverfield), to make movies of their own (Be Kind Rewind), or do a bit of both (Diary of the Dead). So, from creative duo Garth Jennings and Nick Goldsmith (aka Hammer & Tongs – music video directors and the team behind the big screen The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy) comes Son of Rambow – arriving off the back of Sylvester Stallone’s own fourth outing as the (almost) titular character. You couldn’t really have picked better timing.

It’s the early 80′s, and a chance encounter between young Will Proudfoot (Bill Milner), from a deeply religious family of Plymouth Brethren members, and school tearaway Lee Carter (Will Poulter) leads them into an unlikely friendship of sorts. When Lee enlists Will to become the stuntman in the film he’s making for BBC’s children show Screen Test, a chance viewing of a bootlegged copy of First Blood sets Will’s fervent imagination alight and so begins the filming of ‘Son of Rambow’. But religious commitments, bullying brothers and the arrival of the French exchange students, notably the super-cool Didier Revol (Jules Sitruk), threaten the shoot – will the Son of Rambow get the bad guys and ever rescue his father?

As with the aforementioned Be Kind Rewind, Son of Rambow is not a straightforward film parody; while the big laughs are similarly found in the moviemaking process, Jennings understands just like Michel Gondry that a 90 minute YouTube pisstake does not a good film make, and what Son of Rambow pulls off is building up the touching relationship between the two main protagonists. Both Milner and Poulter live their roles, delivering fine complimentary performances that allow them to behave just like, well, kids (rather than the wooden cue-carding or creepy adult-like delivery of other child actors). And while there are the inevitable dips into the formulaic (the customary falling-out, the confrontations between religious values and just being a kid, dealing with family problems), they mostly manage to steer away from the saccharine sickliness of many a Hollywood effort.

But where it best succeeds is in recreating the combined thrill and tedium of your childhood years: watching films you were far too young to see, sitting through seemingly endless Geography lessons, the countless near-death/serious injury dares and stunts you pulled. The film’s best scenes are saved for Didier and his amassed posse of younger wannabes (think Rufio and The Lost Boys from Hook), leading to a chance visit to the sixth-form common room, a fantasy nightclub of Depeche Mode dance routines, popping candy and Coca-Cola combinations and temporary tattoos. When Didier volunteers himself to become the star of our heroes’ film, it’s both strangely beautiful and downright hilarious.

With so much going on with periphery characters hither and thither and the backstories for both Will and Lee to be thoroughly explored, there are times when the narrative leaps about just a little too much during its rather short running time (at least in this day and age), but it doesn’t collapse under its own ambitions thanks to spirited performances, ceaselessly creative sequences and its genial feel-good nature. Jennings’ eye for cinema has been well-honed throughout his career, but for only his second feature film, he displays a heart and joyful playfulness that shows real confidence in the material (loosely based as it is on his own personal experiences growing up).

It’s perhaps the most accurate portrayal of kids as they really are (cussing, obnoxious, violent; but still just kids) since The Goonies, and deserves to be a big family film hit – only the most uptight and ignorant of parents would prevent their tykes from seeing children their same age swearing and getting into scrapes like they no doubt do every day. Perhaps it would make a good double bill with This is England? Or Rambo? Either way, it comes highly recommended. Skills.

8/10

> > > Official Site, IMDb

Another video from Vampire Weekend. This is for their second single, ‘A Punk’, the follow-up to ‘Mansard Roof’ which I posted a couple of months ago. Haven’t heard the album yet but look forward to doing so as I’m enjoying their Afro-Beatles type sound. This, like the previous single, has that African guitar style all over it but the keyboard instrumental bits sound like they’re straight from a  mid-period Beatles record.

The video is also lots of fun, reminding me slightly of ‘Inbetween Days’ by The Cure and was directed by Hammer & Tongs who famously made that ‘Coffee & TV’ promo for Blur and ‘Pumping On Your Stereo’.