This work by Sarah Holmes is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-ShareAlike 3.0 Unported License

As almost everyone knows, Grom is a very important person in our community. Not only is he the ambassador to the ogres, but his life has also been immortalized in the most freakishly popular book ever: Yer an Ogre, Grom. However, the most important thing that he does is own LOTS OF GROG. LOTS OF GROG is a place where a man can be a man. A place where nobody ever complains about hangnails. In short, a perfect place for Moi (when I don’t feel prone to hangnails). I put my application in today. It was very simple, since Grom already knows everyone. It looked like this:

I think I’ll get it.

Charming.

Nail care is one part of looking your best that you can’t ignore. To be entirely beautiful one can apply the best makeup wear the most fashionable clothing, but it is not complete if you do not take good care of your nails. Nail care is essential to prevent nail problems such as fungal infections and ingrown nails from occurring.

 Our hands are mirrors of how we lead our lives and how much attention and care we give to our skin and the rest of our body. Some believe that hands can show the age of a woman. Our hands are used for everything, to communicate, express ourselves, give emphasis to our words. We use them to cook the foods we serve our families, our hands help us to get dressed, write letters, welcome and congratulate others.

The human hand is unique. We have opposable thumbs allowing us to grasp and pick up small objects. While the  hands of vertebrates other then humans are used for locomotion.

Nails are hardened skin cells but when it comes to nail care, we need to do more than just clean the nail itself.

The parts of the nail are the nail root, nail bed, nail plate, cuticle and nail tip. Factors that can make your nails uhealthy and cause damage include poor diet, malnutrition, drug abuse, endocrine disorders, anemia, and trauma to the nail itself. Having manicures done to your nails at a nail salon is one way to take care of your nails.

Fingernail Do’s and Don’ts

Take a close look at your fingernails. Are they strong and healthy looking? Or do you see ridges, dents or areas of unusual color or shape? Often less than desirable nail conditions can be avoided through proper fingernail care. Others require a physician or dermatologist care.

Whats Normal, What’s Not!
Your fingernails – composed of laminated layers of a protein called keratin- grow from the area at the base of the nail under your cuticle. As new cells grow, older cells become hard and compacted and are eventually pushed out towards your fingertips. Healthy fingernails are smooth, without pits or grooves. They are uniform in color and consistency and free of spots or discoloration. Sometimes verticle ridges develop that run from cuticle to the tip of the nail, they are harmless and typically become more prominent with age.

Not all nail conditions are normal, however, Consult your doctor or dermatologist if you notice:

• Changes in nail color
• Changes in the nail shape
• Thinning or Thickening of the nails
• Separation of the nail from the surrounding skin
• Bleeding around the nails
• redness, Swelling or pain around the nails.

Your fingernails can provide clues to your overall health — but do you know how to read the signs?

Check out photos of seven nail conditions that warrant medical attention.

Nail pitting

Nail pitting is small depressions in the nails. Nail pitting is most common in people who have psoriasis — a condition characterized by scaly patches on the skin. Nail pitting can also be related to connective tissue disorders, such as Reiter’s syndrome, and alopecia areata — an autoimmune disease that causes hair loss.

Nail clubbing

Nail clubbing occurs when the tips of the fingers enlarge and the nails curve around the fingertips, usually over the course of years. Nail clubbing is sometimes the result of low oxygen in the blood and could be a sign of various types of lung disease. Nail clubbing is also associated with inflammatory bowel disease, cardiovascular disease, liver disease and AIDS.

Spoon nails

Spoon nails (koilonychia) are soft nails that look scooped out. The depression usually is large enough to hold a drop of liquid. Often, spoon nails are a sign of iron deficiency anemia or a liver condition known as hemochromatosis, in which your body absorbs too much iron from the food you eat. Spoon nails can also be associated with heart disease and hypothyroidism.

Terry’s nails

With the condition known as Terry’s nails, the tip of each nail has a dark band. Sometimes this can be attributed to aging. In other cases, it can be a sign of a serious underlying condition, such as liver disease, congestive heart failure or diabetes.

Beau’s lines

Beau’s lines are indentations that run across the nails. The indentations can appear when growth at the area under the cuticle is interrupted by injury or severe illness. Conditions associated with Beau’s lines include uncontrolled diabetes and peripheral vascular disease, as well as illnesses associated with a high fever, such as scarlet fever, measles, mumps and pneumonia. Beau’s lines can also be a sign of zinc deficiency.

Nail separation

With a condition known as onycholysis, the fingernails become loose and can separate from the nail bed. Sometimes detached nails are associated with injury or infection. In other cases nail separation is a reaction to a particular drug or consumer product, such as nail hardeners or adhesives. Thyroid disease and psoriasis — a condition characterized by scaly patches on the skin — also can cause nail separation.

Yellow nail syndrome

With yellow nail syndrome, nails thicken and new growth slows. This results in a yellowish discoloration of the nails. Nails affected by yellow nail syndrome might lack a cuticle and detach from the nail bed in places. Yellow nail syndrome is often a sign of respiratory disease, such as chronic bronchitis. Yellow nail syndrome can also be related to swelling of the hands (lymphedema).

To keep your fingernails looking their best, follow these simple guidelines

Do Keep Your Fingernails Dry and Clean. Wear cotton-lined rubber gloves when washing dished, cleaning or using harsh chemicals. avoid long exposure to water.
Do Trim and File Your Fingernails Regularly. Use sharpe manicure scissors or clippers. Trim straight across, then round the tips in gently curve.
Do use Moisturizer. When using hand lotion, rub the lotion into your fingernails and cuticles.

Don’t Abuse your Fingernails. Don’t use your nails as tools to pick, poke or pry things
Don’t Bite Your Nails or Pick at Your Cuticles. This can damage the nail bed and cause infection
Don’t Pull off Hangnails.  You risk ripping live tissue and creating infection, instead gently clip with clippers.
Don’t Ignore Problems. If nail problems don’t seem to go away on their own or are associated with other symptoms consult your doctor or dermatologist for an evaluation.

Weak Fingernails can be a challenge to strengthen.

To protect them and reduce the risk of splitting or breaking;

Keep Your Nails Short ~ less risk of breaking
Use Moisturizer ~ Apply to nails and cuticles several times a day and at bedtime
Apply Nail Polish ~ a thin coat of clear nail polish can help keep moisture in
Limit Use of Nail Polish Remover ~ don’t use more than once a week, make sure to use acetone-free variety
Ask your Doctor about Biotin Supplements. Some suggest nutrition supplement of Biotin might help strengthen weak or brittle fingernails.

Its easy to ignore and neglect your nails, but there is much you can do to keep your fingernails healthy and strong. Start with basic fingernail care and your look will be complete!

Once your fingernails are healthy and strong add some fun into your appearance. Add some color, or some sparkle, Art, Rhinestones, colorful designs or just plain beautiful color.

OFTEN  

DO SOMETHING EVERYDAY

Kathy Michael

avonladykathy@gmail.com ~ 619-994-4532 ~ www.youravon.com/kathymichael ~ www.facebook.com/shopavonwithkathy

FIRST WE NEED SNACKS…

A perfect day off would never be complete without some incredible snack foods that require little to no cooking.  Some of my favorites include:

• pretzel m&ms
• reduced fat wheat thins
• pirates booty (so yummy)
• mini oreos
• super sugary cereal (lucky charms, cinnamon toast crunch, trix, etc.)
• gummy bears

A DELIGHTFULLY CHEESY MOVIE

These movies can often be found on The Lifetime Movie Network, the free movies section of your on demand menu and also on Netflix.  I would steer clear of The Hallmark Channel, because their movies are just too cheesy.  However, the Hallmark Channel is great if there is an all day Golden Girls marathon.

BATTERIES

In the extreme case that the batteries in your remote die, make sure to keep a spare set of batteries close by.  God forbid you have to remove yourself from the couch to change the channel manually on your day off.

SCREW LOOKING GOOD!

Dammit!  It is your day off, so don’t worry about looking decent.  Wear those flannel pajama pants with the gaping hole in the crotch and that super cool dinosaur t-shirt you got at the zoo in fifth grade!  If your hair doesn’t look like a cat’s hairball, you aren’t doing it right!

AFTER THE MOVIE IS OVER FIND A TV SHOW THAT WILL MAKE YOU FEEL BETTER ABOUT YOUR OWN KINDA LAME LIFE

Here are a few suggestions:

• Teen Mom
• 16 and Pregnant
• Dr.Phil
• Jerry Springer
• Kate plus 8
• Intervention
• Most episodes of True Life
• Ice Road Truckers
• and much much more!!!!!

Now go forth and enjoy this day!

How dreadful...

They’re ugly, they’re nasty, and they’re foul. I’ve got a hangnail on my thumb, and it’s not pretty. It’s sore and annoying, and I want it to magically disappear just as magically as it appeared. This unsightly looking piece of dried skin jutting from my thumbnail is just horrific.  It’s not like this is the first hangnail that I’ve had, it’s just the first one that I’ve had in a long time. It’s ruining my nail look! Why is it here?! Why won’t it go away?! Why won’t it let me be great?!

I need answers.

Out of frustration and  agony, I started searching online to learn more about this cumbersome thing. You gotta learn to crawl before you learn to walk, and I had to figure out exactly why they show up before I could get to the point of figuring out how to get rid of such things in a timely manner. Timely manner meaning right now.

According to mothernature.com:

“Those annoying little triangular splits of skinaround the fingernails are nothing more than dead skin. The skin in that area, which does not contain a good supply of oil to begin with, simply dries out.”

I wasn’t aware of that, but that certainly explains a lot. The article on mothernature.com continues:

Who gets them? They’re particularly common among women who have their hands in water a lot or who bite their nails. But, says Rodney Basler, M.D., an assistant professor of internal medicine at the University of Nebraska College of Medicine, anyone involved in an occupation that dries out the hands is at risk. “The worst cases of hangnails [as well as chapped hands and hand eczema] occur in letter sorters. People who work with paper all the time get terribly dry hands because the paper actually absorbs oil from their hands. Often they think they’re allergic to ink on the paper, but it’s just the physical effect of oil being removed from their skin.”

I do wash dishes by hand at least three times a day, and I do wash my hands a lot.  Over the past week I have constantly used nail polish remover at least 50 times practicing over and over again water marbling, so I believe that may have contributed to my problem.

So what can I do now that I have the hangnails? Two recommended tips seemed appropriate for me:

Get a clip job. “If you get a hangnail, clip it short and clip it early,” advises Joseph Bark, M.D., a Lexington, Kentucky, dermatologist. “That’ll keep it from getting worse. Don’t do major surgery on yourself; just clip off the little tags of skin with small, sharp, sterilized scissors.”

Go soak. ”Soaking in an oil-and-water solution, as you would when getting a manicure, is very helpful,” advises Dr. Basler. “I tell my patients to mix 4 capfuls of bath oil such as Alpha-Keri with 1 pint of warm water and to soak their fingertips in it for maybe 10 to 15 minutes.”

It seems that the likely conclusion to preventing hangnails in the first place is to keep the area around the fingernails moisturized. The article confirms that:

Make moisturizing a habit. To prevent hangnails in the first place, “moisturize your cuticles every day. Make it a habit, not something you do just when you get a manicure,” says Dr. Bihova. “Rub hand lotion into the flesh surrounding your nails to keep the area soft. For a more soothing feeling, warm the moisturizer over a pan of warm water, using a double boiler. Every time you apply moisturizer to your hands, take extra time to rub some into the cuticles.”

I’ve learned my lesson and I will make a habit of keeping the area around my nails moisturized throughout the day. I’m gonna be oiling and lotioning my hands up like crazy, cause hangnails are not the business. How do you deal with your hangnails?

Source:

http://www.mothernature.com/Library/Bookshelf/Books/47/70.cfm

I found this information:

Nail problems, any changes or abnormalities, are often the result of nutritional deficiencies or other underlying conditions. It is said that nails can reveal a great deal about the body’s internal health.

Here is a list of some of the changes in the nails and nutritional deficiencies that caused them:

Hangnails: caused by lack of protein, folic acid, and vitamin C.

White bands across the nails: also protein deficiency

Dryness and brittleness: lack of vitamin A and calcium

Fragility, with horizontal and vertical ridges: deficiency of B vitamins

Excessive dryness, very rounded and curved nail ends, and darkened nails: insufficient intake of vitamin B12

“Spoon” nails (nails that develop a concave shape) and/or vertical ridges: Iron deficiency

White spots on the nails: Zinc deficiency

Fungus growth around the nails: Lack of sufficient “friendly” bacteria in the body

Splitting nails: a lack of sufficient hydrochloric acid (HCL) Also, cuts and cracks may indicate a need for more liquids. Two tablespoons of brewer’s yeast or wheat germ oil daily helps with splitting nails and or hangnails.

It has been suggested that soaking your nails about 10 to 20 minutes a day in olive oil or apple cider vinegar will strengthen your nails.

Important nutrients that can help clear up the nutritional deficiencies would be:

Acidophilus inhibits harmful bacteria that causes fungai infection
Rejuvelac also introduces friendly bacteria for digestion (recipe is on this site)

The neat thing about the herbs I’m going to suggest is that not only do they have vitamins and minerals that you need but they also detoxify the system.
Yellow dock is especially good for nails, it provides calcium, iron, potassium and many B vitamins and vitamin C and many other minerals. It is a great blood purifier and cleanser and improves colon and liver function.

Two great Hair, Skin and Nail herb combinations would be:
1. Kelp, Dandelion, Alfalfa
2. Dulse, Horsetail, Sage, Rosemary. (Horsetail or another name for it is Shavegrass that has natural silica that converts into calcium in the body)
These formulas are high in minerals for improvement in hair, skin, and nails

You can buy a large container of Alfalfa tablets at the Health Food store put out by Bernard Jensen that will give you vitamins, minerals as well as enzymes to help digest your food. I take as many as 12 a day and also notice added energy and better digestion and bowel function.

Republicans are in favor of denying coverage to people with pre-existing conditions. Republicans are in favor of Americans going bankrupt because of medical expenses. Republicans are in favor of insurance companies cancelling your policy for any reason, real or imagined, as soon as you get sick. Republicans don’t give a damn about the deficit. Republicans will lie about, distort, and ignore facts and figures that don’t support their positions.

Here it is straight from the horses mouths. Steve King sees the pre-existing conditions provision as a “minor thing”:

“Rep. Steve King (R-Iowa) claimed Wednesday that he wasn’t worried about eliminating the popular preexisting conditions provision of the health care bill through the current GOP effort to repeal the law…This is too many pages, it’s too cluttered, it’s too big an argument to allow it to turn on one or two minor things.”

Phil Gingrey brushes aside the HHS report which says that up to 129 million Americans have a pre-existing condition that would deny them coverage, saying that number must include people with “hangnails and fever blisters” and that “if you believe those statistics, I’ve got a beach I can sell you in Pennsylvania.”

Gingrey is only following his leader. Speaker Boehner on the CBO report which says repealing health care will increase the deficit by $230 billion:

“…Boehner told reporters: “I do not believe that repealing the job-killing health care law will increase the deficit.” The budget experts are “entitled to their opinion,” added Boehner.”

The “job-killing” part of the statement is a distortion of another CBO report on whether or not health care reform would lead to job losses. But Republicans have never been ones to let facts get in the way of a good lie, See “death panels” and “pull the plug on Grandma.”

Paul Krugman gets down to the nitty-gritty:

“The key to understanding the GOP analysis of health reform is that the party’s leaders are not, in fact, opposed to reform because they believe it will increase the deficit. Nor are they opposed because they seriously believe that it will be “job-killing” (which it won’t be). They’re against reform because it would cover the uninsured — and that’s something they just don’t want to do. And it’s not about the money…the modern GOP has been taken over by an ideology in which the suffering of the unfortunate isn’t a proper concern of government, and alleviating that suffering at taxpayer expense is immoral, never mind how little it costs.”

 note: a very very very very special “thank you” to Kelly Pettit  who did all the work on this one: director, producer, cinematographer, sound engineer, and most especially editor. I really couldn’t have done this with out his expertise in things I know nothing about.
He also carried half the pool table around with me looking silly for a few hours.
Kelly rocks!!!!

double note: I should have smiled more in this video.

triple note: Really Bad Things, More Really Bad Things, and Still More Really Bad Things are still being bad.

notes to myself #10

When you are 9 years old do not do Morris’ paper route for him. He’s not going to pay you; and him and his dad are douche b … oh! … you don’t know those words yet! … they are jerks.

Hangnails…

OW!

Trolls (of both the Internet and Doll variety… the dolls are just f-ing creepy!)

CREEPY!

And, Burning Man freaks…

For god's sake, grow the fuck up and stop wearing WINGS.

(I know that technically counts as four things — but, I only posted one Troll picture — so there’s my loophole.)

Sarah Keturah

When I was first diagnosed with Rheumatoid Arthritis over two years ago, I was scared out of my mind. I worried that I would die early, my body would one day be filled with replacement joints, and that my quality of life had just gone downhill 100 fold.

With that, a variety of feelings came flooding in. I didn’t ask “why me?” but I did feel anger towards other people. I felt anger that they didn’t know what I was going through, that they complained about hangnails, colds and headaches and I felt anger that lots of people had advice for me. I also felt sadness of course that the life I once lived was now difficult and painful. And it wasn’t just any kind of pain, it was the kind of pain that had me crying several times a day. It was the kind of pain that made me think that child birth might be a piece of cake. It was the kind of pain that made me wonder how many months of this I could handle, and was my life over? My daily routine now consisted of a plethora of medicines with terrible side effects, some that made me scared I would one day have cancer.

Even before I was diagnosed, I pored through the Internet in search of what was wrong with me. I felt like I was dying. Surely I must be, I thought because my body every day was loosing functions. I could no longer turn my head or brush my teeth with ease. If I fell on the floor, not only would it cause excruciating pain, but I would be at a loss of how to get back up. I remember when RA was first starting, I was in a jewelry store and I had crouched down to look at some jewelry. I lost my balance because my knees were starting to be affected and when I reached the ground, I avoided putting any pressure on my wrists because they couldn’t bend or else they felt like they had just been broken. So here I was, in a public place and in pain, wondering how in the world I was going to get back up. And this was just the beginning, I wasn’t even at my peak of the debilitating stage RA can put you in. It was a couple of months later that sitting up from the couch required a helping hand. I was young and fit and yet my body was deteriorating at an alarming pace, swelling in all of my joints and developing noticeable bumps. Even my shoulder bones were poking out. When I woke up in the morning, it felt like I had smoked packs of cigarettes. My ribs constantly hurt. Sleeping was nearly impossible. My rib pain and other joints caused all positions except for lying facing straight up, too painful to bear. I woke up with every turn and twist. I couldn’t even stand the feeling of a blanket on my toes because the weight of the blanket on those small joints was unbearable. Am I exaggerating? Not in the least!

I had begun a new job, one in the industry and I was leaving my old one. My old job could have possibly started the inflammation process. I had been cutting cardboard for 10 hours a day using an Exacto knife. Hour after hour of constant pressure had turned my fingers into swollen sausages. It may have been just a coincidence, but in my opinion, this job had something to do with the onset of my RA.

In the first weeks of my new job, luckily my hands were able to rest. Not only were my fingers swollen, but they had eczema of some sort all over and I kept them hidden. The eczema was itchy and painful. I kept my illness hidden, thinking each day was my last. When I drove in the car in the morning of L.A. traffic I feared getting in an accident. Was I even capable of turning the steering wheel? My head certainly couldn’t turn easily any more. At night when I left my car, I didn’t even bother looking back and checking my surroundings. I wouldn’t be able to run or fight back. I felt as vulnerable as a newborn baby.

At this time I didn’t even have insurance and I was going to a local clinic. The doctor, who had a difficult time communicating with me, (English wasn’t her first language) finally prescribed Prednisone when I was on my last days of even being able to brush my teeth. Thankfully, this drug turned my life around and I was able to function a little better for some time before I got insurance and started seeing a Rheumatologist.

I began to talk about my disease to those who were close to me because hiding it was stressful and difficult. It’s hard to explain when you’re 30 why you can’t do something if you look perfectly healthy.

I realized soon enough that people just didn’t get it. Even in the very beginning as I became less functional and told my husband that I was looking into support groups on-line and I thought I had either Lupus or RA, his reaction was unhelpful. He didn’t want me to join a support group if I didn’t know what I had. It was as if he could just ignore what was happening and somehow it wouldn’t exist. I’m certain there was a part of him that didn’t believe me and felt I was making this disease manifest.

Time went on and my husband began to finally realize I had a real disease and it wasn’t in my head. I think all of my family “gets” that I have Rheumatoid Arthritis. Unfortunately, unless they read about it thoroughly this disease varies from person to person, so much that even the person going through it doesn’t really know what to expect on a day to day basis.

I imagine that it’s not just Rheumatoid Arthritis that has this type of variety. I think that’s one of the most important aspects of learning about a person’s disease is, is to know that just because you read about it doesn’t mean you truly understand it. Even as part of a support group, I realize that just because I have Rheumatoid Arthritis, doesn’t mean I know what another person is going through.

If you would like to be a contributor, please send your story to: sarahketurah@gentlehugscafe.com

Honestly it’s getting hard for me to keep a straight face when Irena or Nadia talk to me because their accent is so funny. Half the time I don’t even try to comprehend what they’re saying because I’m busy mimicking them in my head.

“Dis one you write copy for Jason” “Copy for Jason” “Copy for Jason” The “co” sound is pronounced like cone and the “for” and “Jason” are mashed together like “fejason.” “Copy fejeson.”

Hangnails are lethal at this job. Each file threatens to catch the excess flesh and rip it back. The worst are the vagabond staples that you don’t see.

This post here makes me laugh.  Why?  Cause one of the few “tricks” I could do in the swimming pool was I could swim like the Man From Atlantis.  Yes, yes…my uncovered talents are just never ending, aren’t they? 

The Sundance Channel just may be my one of my new favorite channels. Does anybody else love crap like documentaries on Lew Wasserman as much as I do?  They ran that reality show on Jay Bakker last night.  Dang…I love stuff like that. Sometimes I wish I had normal guilty pleasures like trashy romance novels, but, no…

If I had a clue how to make a documentary, I’d make one.  I love them. On anything. 

My eye muscle in my right eye has been jumping for three days.  It’s about to get on my nerves.  I haven’t had that in a long time.  What causes that?

One of my new favorite books of the Bible is officially Habakkuk.  Chapter one especially.  I know it’s not a new book or nothing and I’ve always known OF it but never got into it until I started doing this study of Priscilla Shirer’s. 

Zumba is the bomb.  My shimmy is getting better.  My Cha Cha is smokin’.  I didn’t realize I can kick it on the dance floor and you better believe I flat get with it in there.  Note to self: Go out and dance more. 

My kids fought like cats and dogs today.  I think they enjoy it.  They argue about their arguments.  I went in my room and closed the door at one point.  No wonder my parents used to pretend they didnt hear us.  Dadgum, that mess drives me crazy. Even the 16 year old Manchild will just hassle #2 and then denies it.  This is why he is the Man Child.

I have one hellatious hangnail on my right thumb.  It hurts like the dickens.  Throbs.  I hate them things.

It would probably require some mesh netting around the perimeter. Otherwise, one sturdy breeze would send flocks of hangnails teetering through the air currents, some to land tragically in an old man’s carafe of lemonade as he rocks unknowingly in his hammock.

Poor, oblivious, hammock-rocking old men.  If they didn’t get have to get their perverse jollies swaying to and fro, they wouldn’t have to get stray hangnails Heimliched out of their esophagi.

So, getting back to the project of rounding up all of our hangnails, it’s an important, but ultimately unpaid and thankless position.

I nominate Renee.