I had trouble sleeping last night, maybe it was because my birthday was only hours away, like the night before christmas when you a kid and you stay up most the night listening to the many sounds of the  night for signs of santa or some shit like that. Or it could have simply been the temperature, despite being freezing cold outside it was as hot as a chinese sweat shop inside my room, not such a great environment for sleeping.When i did finally drop off, i woke up at about 3:48am with a sigh and a yawn, promptly returning to dreamland, before waking up again at about 7:ooam.

I thought 4 hours of sleep would be sufficient, considering i planned on going out for a few(hundred) drinks in the evening to celebrate my emergence into the world with a few friends. i’m not the kind of person who would go to all the trouble of arranging a big party for myself though, inviting everyone i have ever met EVER. That kind of hassle and hard work should be left to someone else. All i need is my best friends their, to have  few drinks with me. Honestly being “popular” always seemed like too much effort to me; making sure everyone likes you, always keeping your phone handy, texting everyone about everything thats going on all the time, and making sure your always up to date on all the latest trends, Pah! what a waste of time. Im sure its really fun, but im the kind of person who laughs at the word “Period”. *snigger*

“So what did you get for your birthday?” you might ask. Well i didn’t exactly get a lot of things, but by the time you hit your twenties you’ve probably already got most the stuff you need anyway, at least i do. You see, when i find something i want, i will normally put it on my mental wish list, then save up all my wages from cleaning other people sweat and shit up from the gym, and buy it at the end of the month. Once my next birthday comes around and my relatives ask me “So what do you want for your birthday?” i have to draw a blank because i got everything i want by now. Honestly id be happy with anything, but this year it was;

• Electric razor to keep on top of the stubble.
• A funny book called “Simon’s Cat” (www.Simonscat.com)
• A xbox 360 video game, “NAMCO MUSEUM” which after a quick play though i think is brilliant but also fucking impossible, like all retro games are when your older….
• Aftershave
• Cards containing money and best wishes, also jokes.

Speaking of jokes, all the cards this year had a recurring theme, centring around the fact that i (apparently) never do any housework. This is somewhat un-true, although my younger brother would disagree strongly, the thing is when i spend 8 hours a day at work cleaning, tidying, taking our rubbish and generally getting my hands covering in all sorts of chemicals and waste products, you don’t exactly feel like coming home and doing the same thing, even if the mess is mostly mine. Im not asking anyone to clean up after me either, i’m sure ill get round to it ….eventually, and i’m well prepared to except the consequences for not doing it as well.

Anyway the morning rolled on, the sun became higher in the dull british sky and my mom and dad wanted to treat me to a nice breakfast , so where did we go? McDonald’s thats wear. First of all, i can see why they would think i would enjoy going there, since i do go there every week at least once, and it makes it a lot easier for them too, seeing as they don’t have to worry about booking a table anywhere or having to actually cook something. But C’MON!  its my birthday and they think a Happy Meal would be nice?, im only joking of course, we did go and it was nice even though its junk food it was still the first time i had been out to eat something with my mom and dad in a while. I sent a text to my good friend kieran simply saying “Dick” with the intention of getting some attention (lol) and i succeeded when he called me back to sing the happy birthday song in the manner of a drunken baboon with laryngitis. fucking funny man.

While we there, the subject of conversation shifted towards my hair, and how it was too long. I wanted to

try a different barbers because  in my regular one, 90% of the customers they cut probably only have a shaved head, my mother suggested a place called “Nutcrakers” in the local high street, somewhere which i had frequently walked by but never really cared for. i arranged a haircut at 10:00am, and upon arrival at

the very well laid out and feng shui’d establishment i was still unsure as to what i was going to have done, except that i wanted it to be basically the same but shorter and more attractive. The hairdressers were attractive too, all women of course, all young with excellent child baring hips, all with opinions. i will often side with a women more often than myself or friends, because if anyone knows what looks good on a man, its a women, am i right?

I planned on spending most of the afternoon….well basically doing fuck all, and generally lying around to house sucking in oxygen, sounds like a waste of a birthday i know, but i didn’t want to wear myself out before a night of hilarity with my friends, while my arm remained attached to a drip full of jaggermeisters and monster energy drinks. I fucking love monster energy by the way, its essentially just a bag of sugar mixed with high doses of caffeine and carbonated water, very very unhealthy but very satisfying too. i wouldn’t recommend you try it though, especially if you have a heart condition, sensitive teeth and gums or a disliking to acid in your mouth.

Anyway The night is calling me out, soon me and my friends are going down our local, drinking all sorts of fluids and possibly regurgitating other fluids, but to get to our favourite tavern we face a short walk though a relentless torrent of rain and blustery gales, its fucking freezing too. Stupid weather, how am i ever going to meet any short skirts or low cut tops in this meteorological madness. I made sure to eat a whole pizza before venturing out on the expedition.

Ill put the drunkenness up in tomorrows blog, if i have any brain cells left.

So this is picture number seven, I’ve actually gotten through the whole week, wowza.

This is my new best friend, Kristofferson. My mam got him free with a Happy Meal from McDonalds and I stole him.
I’m aware it’s very childish but oh well,nobody is going to die because of it.

Have you ever gotten a free toy or something in general that you can’t let go of because it just makes you feel so happy? Tell me about it in the comments if you have :]

Social Intelligence is my one fry short of a Happy Meal. From here looking over out there in the direction of the noise and all the people I can see clearly I am Missing Some Thing that is not a Thing. They all look Socially Intelligent. I am not sure. I cannot hear clearly because of all the noise. Very zen.

Standing in Past Time looking forward, or in a corner of Future Time and looking backward, these are common sense basics of Deep Seeing Techniques. Listening to otoacoustic emssions from inside your head or the stereo outside your head, these are basics of Deep Listening. Very zen.

Warm tights and tops for biking and hiking and climbing through the winter. This seems Somewhere Else to Go. Here I see your tracks in the pit. These are ancient memories Alive with the shape of your foot. This seems Somewhere Else to Go in the pit. So very zen.

My Emotional Intelligence was infantile, once. I thought I Deeply Loved. The story goes if you lose the object of your love you lose Everything Else, too. Two victims, lover and lovee. Poor object of my love in a labyrinth all day long. In Time my Emotional Intelligence matured. Then the story changed. The story goes if you Deeply Love In Time you can lose Everything Else. I am a beginner. I did. So very very zen.

Before I Know it I am looking back from the Future. I have become a Zen Gypsy Wrasseler. Time will do that to you. Whether I look forward to it or backward from it. Time will not judge me. That’s Social Intelligence.

A Zen Gypsy Wrasseler is Alive. This can be way too big for one brain. I am not a professional and I came out short. My only insurance is being Alive. It’s an Emotional Intelligence in a social context. Time will not judge me. My Heart does that In Time. The rest of the Happy Meal is fine.

this year has been just crap so far entertainment wise. it started off pretty well.. t.v. show wise, I had my favorite show since The Lone Gunmen being Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles, which I was devoted to. video game wise, I had MxO (The Matrix Online) which was, by far, the BEST MMO I’ve ever played and was just simply sweet like bear meat. (whatever that taste like. sweet meat sounds rather nasty, so strike that from the record) then they had to end the game in the summer, and it was just sad. we had a big ending party and what-not and made a few new friends which I appreciate hard core. (shout out to Hidden System) and then I find out they cancelled Terminator. I mean come on.. then they release this abomination of a movie Terminator Salvation which was just horrible. yeah, part of it for me was Christian Bale since he did ruin Batman for me like Tim Burton did with Batman Forever and on, but the story was just dumb. this show goes down with other shows I loved like The Lone Gunmen (canceled), Sliders (canceled, but Jerry O’Connell left anyways), ReBoot (is getting it’s own big movie in 2010), Dollhouse (Eliza Dushku is just.. man, I just want to keep her in my basement), and a few other sci fi shows I cannot remember at the moment.

but what bothers me more than anything about this is how all these other shows remain on the air. I mean really.. Dog The Bounty Hunter? I do tune in every once in a bit to see how the 4 foot mullet man who is unable to button up his shirt is doing, but it’s such a dull show. (“let’s go get ‘em, bra! freeze bra! you’re going down bra! –then- God loves you, bra! here’s a sandwich I made for you, bra!”) and we have Dr. Phil who is supposed to be more of a moral doctor than a real doctor (cause he isn’t a real doctor) but he cheated on his freak of nature wife! ..plus his moustache bothers me. and I’m not even gonna touch Nancy Grace, but I don’t think any man would. this has all pissed me off as much as when Buffalo Wild Wings took away the Thai sauce. maaaaaaaaan. on 2o cent wing days, I used to get 50 and tear those mothers up, yo! but no. here’s something that satisfies Justin so let’s take it away. like the old white Papa John’s delivery boxes. I’m still not over that. they were classy, now they got these brown ugly things. which also brings me to Taco Bell.. what’s up with the brown bathroom style napkins? they aren’t soft! and if there is any restaurant that is in need of providing their patrons with suitable napkins, its Taco Bell. some items on the menu can be messy and wiping of and around the mouth may be required a bit more than eating a burger from McDonalds. which brings me to why aren’t ALL the happy meals in the cool little folding boxes? that’s all there was when I was a wee boy. you would open up that box from the cleverly folded in tabs at the top to reveal a warm meal with a decent quality toy. now we get a sack. a freaking bag! kids open up a stupid bag to find a toy that’s already broken or just completely useless. stupid Ronald McDonald skimping on the happiness of children. thanks for the sack with a hamburger and a stupid toy from a show I am unaware of or a movie that isn’t even out or has a trailer. their fries are good, though. unlike Burger King that changed their fries all those years ago, and thought it was a good idea. you too BK are ignorant. see? now I’m all upset and need a sandwich or some cake. or both. so I’m gonna go eat my feelings lie a 14 year old fat girl wearing a Jonas Brothers t-shirt with a sweet Twilight bracelet or whatever little butterchubbs wear these days. sorry if I came off rude, I mean no harm, I am very sarcastic at heart (and face) it’s just how I roll. happy Friday the 13th everyone!

Lunch at one of my favorite places in LaLa, the Little Next Door was delicious, productive and, well, powerfully fun. Fortunately this time Speidi  and their MTV crew were nowhere in sight.

Ambiance: This  joint is a magnet for the hiperatti, especially the patio area.  It reminds me of  hundreds of outdoor cafes and charcuteries I’ve seen in France. There were starlets and music producers sitting alongside family gatherings and two ladies who appeared to be members of the local AME church. We sat next to a Meryl Streep lookalike, an American raised in Paris.  Apropos of nothing, I spotted a lot of great shoes.

My Order: A Mediterranean stew  with couscous that was off menu—it’s usually just served for dinner but I managed to get our somewhat snooty waitress to serve it up. I get it every time and it’s never disappointed. Every bite, a delight.

My lunch power partner, a movie-producing-television-directing-speaker-author-motivator-Malibu-and-Beverly-Hills-denizen. She always brings bling to her plate and on this day ordered a salmon Caesar salad.

This was Judith’s  first time here and I was so pleased that she loved it and plans to bring her hubby, especially after she found out breakfast is served until four pm.

The portions are so generous you can easily split them. I usually take home a doggie bag and I don’t have my own dog.

Service: The waitress had a bit of le  ‘tude. Too bad because every time I’ve gone in the past the waiter was terrific. She had trouble grasping the concept of  customer service including our request to mix the blood orange lemonade with a splash of soda water.

I will say that I’ve seen worse service at The Ivy.

Amuse Bouche: The Little Next Door is the little sister to the  more glamorous and expensive celebrity magnet located next door,  The Little Door (Is that you Brit Brit,  Justin, Salma, Christina?) Both serve great food in a relaxed but chic environment.

I’ve seen many restaurant pairings like this, mostly in France– and Seattle too, where you have a choice of la-ti-dah and down home versions of the same cuisine often designed by the same chef.

Why not save and savor a great meal for the price of a mid-range chain?

If you do want to splurge at The Little Door, a warning.  It’s one of those places, like the Ivy, that has no signage on the outside.

So How Did I Bring Bling To My Plate?

• I focused just on what I wanted, the stew.

I politely requested it, even though it is not on the lunch menu.

• I did not let my plate get bogged down with anything other than the object of my desire. No bread, no desert, no appetizers.

• I also decided to skimp on dinner that night and that was hard because I was treated to a great homemade dish. So instead I had those leftovers for breakfast the next day.

Rating: Four and a half tines out of five. The ding is because of le ‘tude.

What’s on your plate?

Is there any product on the face of the planet more perfectly named than the McDonald’s “Happy Meal”?  It’s rather arrogant if you think about it.  THIS meal — not some other meal, cooked by you, perhaps, or purchased elsewhere — is so certain to produce happiness in the consumer that it is NAMED after happiness.  

For once, the wizards at McDonald’s decided to pull back on the whole “Mc” thing and not call it a “Happy McMeal” or a “McHappy Meal.”  No, there is no need to bastardize the meaning of it all. 

It is a meal. 

And it makes you happy.

At least it does if you’re under the age of ten, as both my children are.  (Nine and three, to be exact.)  They get happy at the mere NOTION that we might be heading to McDonald’s to get some grub.  And who can blame them?  It’s perfect, really.  You get your protein in the form of some Chicken McNuggets.  You get your fruits/veggies in the form of french fries or apple dippers.  (What’s the ratio there, do you think?  Seventy five orders of fries for every one order of apple dippers?)  You get a drink, which can be milk or juice.  And, best of all, you get a toy.  A toy made in China by a child half the age of your children, but, hey, it’s a global economy and toys are important.  We like toys in this country.  We NEED toys.

Today, the toy for boys was an Astro Boy action figure and for girls it was a My Little Pony.  (There is not even a hint of gender sensitivity in the toy selections.  At McDonald’s, boys like to blow things up; girls like to play with dolls.  As a father of a boy and a girl, that’s pretty much right, but do they have to be so OVERT about it?)  

My kids figured out a few visits ago that the bottom of the Happy Meal box tells you which toys are up next.  (The DaVinci McCode.)  This is a great way to keep abreast of pop culture, but also indicative of our tiny lil’ attention spans.  A whole lot of people probably worked for five years on Astro Boy — a perfectly fine film, by the way.  Doesn’t it merit more than a week or two in the Happy Meal line-up?  Apparently, it does not.

In Astro Boy (as in so many other movies for children these days), we have completely befouled the Earth and now use it largely as a giant dumping ground for worn-out robots, discarded from the floating city above where all the cool people live.  Someday, a thousand years from now, an archaeologist will stumble across my garbage from this afternoon.  She’ll carefully dust off Astro Boy and Iris, the My Little Pony, with a delicate brush.

“My God,” she’ll say, her voice barely above a whisper. ”They had rockets coming out of their feet.  And really gay looking horses.”

Thursday, November 5, 2009
Brown Cocktail

Friday, November 6, 2009
California Martini

Saturday, November 7, 2009
Campari Martini & the Church Lady Martini

As you can see, I’ve got a bit of catching up to do.  I was out on Thursday night at happy hour with my favorite brother at our favorite wine bar in downtown San Diego (The Grape).  For some reason (this blog, maybe?), I wasn’t in the mood for wine, so I had a dirty martini instead.  I knew I would be having another martini later and I’ve found the combining red wine with any kind of hard liquor is usually a bad idea for me.  Combining different hard liquors is also usually bad idea, too, but my head seems more tolerant of it the next day. 

My cocktail for Thursday evening was the Brown Cocktail.  Along with Sue’s comment, I’d like to know the origins of some of these names, too.  This one is 4 parts gin, 2 parts light rum, 1 part dry vermouth, and a kumquat garnish.  No luck on finding kumquats this time of year, although admittedly I didn’t look THAT hard, either – I figured I could forgo the garnish.  I have some Captain Morgan silver rum, maybe “light rum” has more of a tint to it and therefore would have made the drink slightly brown.  Or it’s named after someone named Brown.  Which brings me to the title of this post.  I find it strangely amusing that Jerry Brown is planning to run for Governor of California AGAIN.  Since he was Governor before the term limit thing was enacted, he actually can run again.  It’s kind of trippy if you’ve lived in California a long time, like, say, your whole life (save for three months that Sue and I lived in London).  I was born here in 1963.  Jerry Brown was Governor while I was in junior high, high school, and then started college – very formative years, those.  I remember Jerry Brown as this:

I especially remember him dating Linda Ronstadt, that was like cool for a politician of the time, and to me he didn’t look like one of these typical fat old white guys with no neck and three chins, which is how most of Congress usually looks to me in any given administration, ditto with any major company’s Board of Directors. 

It seemed particularly appropriate that my cocktail for the following evening was thus the California Martini – and strangely coincidental in keeping with this blog that Jerry was once photographed with the flavor-maker of a couple of Sue’s previous cocktails, the Reverend Jim Jones.

Kinda creepy if you think about it, probably one photo he wishes weren’t in his archive.  Then again, I have a lot of photos of me with ex-boyfriends that I wish had never been committed to celluloid, either.  For those of you who don’t know the story of the Jonestown Massacre (mass suicide, really), look it up on Wikipedia and educate yourselves.  Over 900 people drinking cyanide-and-sedative laced grape Flavor-Aid (actually wasn’t Kool-Aid, just tasted the same!) at one man’s directive, killed themselves in November of 1978.  I remember hearing about it in high school, and it was apparently the largest single loss of American lives leading up to September 11, 2001, which I hadn’t realized.  People often will name cult suicides like Jonestown and Heaven’s Gate in the same breath – this guy made the Heaven’s Gate group look like a bunch of pansies.  Yeeesh.  It is just this sort of cattle-minded thinking that brought us people like Hitler.  The emphasis should not just be on “question authority” anymore.  The important thing we should all learn is to question everything – creepy religions, bell-bottom jeans, cheap vodka.  You are a human being with an IQ, not a mindless sheep.

Which brings me back to cocktails.  I know you’re struggling to figure out how, but bear in mind that my train often jumps from track A to D with no visible means of switching.  It’s a gift, really.  This one was a bit harsh to the palate at first sip.  I kind of immediately stuck it into the “not a favorite” category.  I took a few more sips, and then ended up getting busy with some chores around the house and didn’t get back to the drink until I sat down again about a half hour later.  I’m not sure if by then the drink had time to warm up a bit (it had, obviously) or the flavors melded together better, but after it had sat for awhile, it actually tasted much better and was really pretty good.  Not quite a 4 star drink, but above a 3.5 star level.  Maybe the kumquat would have elevated it, I have no idea.  If I happen to run across a kumquat, I’ll make it again.  Smoother than straight gin, not as sweet as straight rum would be, and softened by the vermouth, a touch of spice to it.  Not bad and an interesting variation.

So this brings us to the dear state of California and the martini thusly named.  Would be interesting to see ol’ Jerry sworn in again after he was first Governor 30 years ago.  Makes you think of some time travel movie or someone in a coma for decades, they wake up and ask, “who’s the Governor?” and get told it’s Jerry Brown (again), they wouldn’t think they’d missed a beat, save for the fact that the dude now looks like this:

Yikes!  That would definitely be the time for a stiff drink!  Okay, I’m kidding.  All things considered, for spending that much time in politics, the guy doesn’t look bad.  After all, look at Jimmy Carter.  He aged 20 years while he was President, easily.  Now it isn’t close enough to the election for me to start really reading up on the candidates and their policies, I had my overdose of that crap during the Obama/McCain debates.  Too often most elections seem to me to boil down to the lesser of two evils.  Why anyone would even WANT to be Governor of California right now, I have no idea.  Out of control debt and unemployment and a business-hostile environment that has companies right and left picking up and moving elsewhere?  Check, please.  Maybe some folks just have a masochistic streak.  So, looking at Wikipedia at the current potential crop of candidates, we could end up with … hmmm, Jerry Brown vs. Meg Whitman (former CEO of eBay)?  Now that would be entertaining.  Maybe Meg could sell off state surplus equipment and all those old computers gathering dust somewhere without having to pay listing fees on eBay.  Yep, that’d solve the budget problems right there.  Jerry could have a for-old-times-sake fling with Linda Ronstadt now that she’s doing all those albums in Spanish and help bring in the Latino vote.  And you wonder why I drink?  It’s because I think of weird shit llike this.

The California Martini, I’m guessing (?) named for the red wine in it, given the popularity of California’s wine-growing regions, is 6 parts vodka, 1 part red wine, 1 tablespoon dark rum, 3-5 dashes of orange bitters, garnished with an orange twist.  I really have no idea why it’s named the California.  But despite the eclectic (at least to me) list of ingredients, it was a very good drink.  I give this one an easy 4 stars, perhaps a bit higher.  Very sippable, smoothed out with the wine and the touch of rum, and the orange bitters (I have blood orange bitters from BevMo) add just a hint of sweetness.  A delightful drink and a nice way to end the week on a Friday evening.  Not that my weeks are really so tough these days, being unemployed, the days kind of tend to blend together, although I did get my kids back for the week on Friday night, so to me that’s a good reason for needing a martini whether I’m working or not! 

So Saturday rolled around – soccer playoff game for the 10-year-old (they won, awesome), celebratory lunch at McDonald’s and another Happy Meal toy FAIL – honestly, Mickey D’s hasn’t had a good Happy Meal toy in about the last year or so, they’re mostly just cheap pieces of plastic that just sit there – couple of errands by Mom including putting the unemployment check in the bank that came in Saturday’s mail, always an important thing.  It was a lovely day outside but I couldn’t get the kids on the same mental track to want to do anything in terms of going to a park, the beach, etc. , or at least on the same track of things that didn’t cost Mommy a lot of money.  If they had their way, I’m sure they’d love to have me drop $80 on tokens at Peter Piper Pizza or Chuck ‘E Cheese so they could spend the afternoon playing video games while I only have a cheap beer to entertain myself.  No thanks.  So we headed home, kids decided to watch a movie and I opted for the quiet of my bedroom, the ceiling fan, and perusing a collection of mail-order catalogs that had come in the mail the past few days.  You can tell the Christmas retail season is in full swing.  Even though I’ve fallen off a lot of mailing lists in the past year, come November, they start coming hot and heavy in the mailbox.  6 catalogs today alone.  What can I say, it’s like window shopping.  And I’m a chick.  I don’t think I need to say more. 

After breaking up probably half a dozen squabbles between my two boys by dinnertime, I wasn’t quite sure what kind of martini I was in the mood for.  I had three contenders – the Campari, the Christmas Tini (similar to Sue’s previously blogged version, except with vodka), or the Church Lady Martini.  I decided on the latter – 2 parts orange juice, 2 parts dry vermouth, 4 parts gin, garnished with lemon, lime, and orange wedges – almost a liquid citrus salad or something – it sounded practically healthy.  Now I tend to associate the term “Church Lady” with Dana Carvey’s character from SNL.  Whether that is the origin for this drink’s name, I have no idea.  I doubt it.  My guess is that it looks like a simple glass of orange juice or maybe a mimosa and thus the little old churchgoing lady would feel less conspicuous drinking it, than, say, a dry martini with nothing more than an olive in it.  Not to mention the alcohol content is a bit lower.  Plus the fruit garnish makes it look festive and Sunday-brunchy. 

Well, isn't this drink SPECIAL?

Alas, to my palate it is nothing more than a screwdriver (vodka and OJ, that early adulthood drink when you don’t know any better, right up there with rum and Coke on the scale of things that now give me a headache just looking at them).  The orange juice and dry vermouth pretty much overshadow whether the base is gin or vodka, hence the similarity.  I could feel somewhat healthier for having consumed some Vitamin C in the course of this cocktail, but otherwise it really didn’t do much for me.  I give it three stars only because there was nothing offensive about it – it was a good, smooth, sippable drink.  Just nothing to write home about.  I would imagine that if Dana Carvey were mixing it up, it would probably consist of a little more kick to it, maybe some Captain Morgan 100 instead of the gin.  Now that might be worthy of consideration!

Which brings us to the final cocktail of this post, the Campari.  No, I didn’t save the best for last in this case.  I’d never had Campari before, at least to my knowledge, and after seeing their sexy Jessica Alba ad campaigns, I certainly felt more compelled to try it.  Perhaps drinking this will prompt someone to airbrush all of my photos with a thinner waistline, too!  I’d be all over that!  It certainly appears to be the sipping liqueur of the elite and the beautiful people.  The martini is comprised of 6 parts vodka, 1 part Campari, and a lime twist, definitely a gentle introduction to the concoction.  What can I say about it?  Blech.  I mean, it wasn’t bad, not like downing a mouthful of Jagermeister or anything, just not a herb/spice combo that I can really see myself taking to.  I kept trying to think of something to put in it to change the drink but really wasn’t sure what.  A couple extra drops of lime juice (which I like) helped a bit, but in general it just wasn’t the drink for me.  I’m sure there are lots of folks who like it, but I would need to try it in other combos to decide if it is truly a thumbs-up or thumbs-down mixer for me.  I know I like dirty martinis and a lot of people can’t stomach those, so I will reserve judgement and give this a 3 star rating.  Not planning to mix it up again, though.

On that note, I rest my shaker for the evening.  Back next time with either the Christmas Tini or the Citrus Martini (depends on my mood!).  Until then,

Your hostess,
Cathy

French Happy Meal Box with last Star Wars licence has an additional AR Game. People just have to take magical card on happy meal box to have an Augmented Reality Star Wars Game on Mc Donald’s website.

You can experience this new AR Game here. The AR Game is in 2 phases, first is the reveal and test flight of Obi-Wan Kenobi’s Delta-7 and then the fight against Slave1 spaceship. This campaign has been driven by Duke Interactive.

1.   Froggies

2.   Buggies

3.   Huggies

Really good, thank you, great weather, good journeys, no complaints, no complaints. Want some pictures? You’ll like this one: I dressed the boys for a 3am start in the UK, and we arrived at 12 noon our time and 25C, picked up the gleaming hire car and headed for the villa… Son 2 aged 2y 1m cried in the back, red spots burning in his cheeks, clearly overheated and distressed. “It’s ok, Son 2,” I kept saying. “We’re nearly there.” We stopped outside our destination. Vomit jetted out of him in pitiful spurts, swilling down his front and pooling in the car seat.  “I’s sick,” he said, hair plastered to his forehead.   Oh, but the swimming pool was lovely, the waiters loved children, the sun shone and the Bloody Marys racked up.  The Elegant Aunt and Golfmad Uncle had given us their timeshare, where we’ve stayed before, but had booked themselves another villa a few miles away to see the boys. “You’ll think it’s a bit Footballers’ Wives,” laughed the Elegant Aunt as she showed me around their new find.  Oh dear. I didn’t. I thought it was lovely.  Really lovely.  I didn’t dare tell her.  So we swam and went to the playground and the beach, and then this morning we trailed along the paths towards the hire car, and the boys spotted frogs in the water through the gardens. And I had a massive Pang, because we Just Don’t Get Enough Time Together As A Family.  And then I was Positive, because I know how lucky we are. And I am full of Holiday Resolutions which will Improve Our Lives.

Son 2, sitting in the back,  sang a song about his Ollday. Each verse finished on “Orl day long,” and Son 1 aged 5y 1m and I clapped each time.  Then he started to cry. “I’s sick,” he said.  “We’re nearly there, Son 2,” I said, mentally risk assessing. Garbage In = Garbage Out. He hadn’t had enough breakfast for anything untoward to happen.  The Man piled the trolley high with two suitcases, a sailbag, a hand-luggage-on-wheels-case, two car seats and assorted bits of carry-on stuff, including a Thomas The Tank Engine wheeled suitcase and an Early Learning Centre farm.  He zoomed off to return the hire car.   We paused in Departures. Son 2 threw up. Magnificently.  Great quantities of milk and bits which even I could smell.  I blotted him madly with muslins from the nappy bag, failing to notice that he was sitting in puddles of it in the buggy.  Son 1 had Euros from Golfmad Uncle in his pocket, and whined for the Sweetie Stall.     The Man returned, I broke open a case and found clean clothes. We checked in, sent the stinky buggy into the hold and sprayed ourselves in Wall-E scent from the toy bit of Duty Free.

The flight was a Total Nightmare.  Son 2 is a psychotic flyer and I Refuse To Go On A Plane With Him Again Ever.  It was worse than this: http://mumsnet.com/blogs/serenedays/2009/05/17/the-land-of-the-sand/  But it was only two and half hours in a 12 hour trip, there was a sachet of Calpol they didn’t spot in the nappy bag and we dosed him with that. But next time it’s Medised.  On the way we gave Son 1 his first trip to McDonald’s. A Happy Meal. Doesn’t like burgers, doesn’t really do stringy chips, but liked the tomato sauce and the toy.  Son 2 kept up the jeopardy with “I’s sick! I’s sick!” but we put Chitty Chitty Bang Bang on the portable DVD and he seemed to forget. Back home we unpacked. And I have a Triumph. We bought too much wine out there and couldn’t drink it all. So I brought it back.  I am a Member Of Mumsnet.  We can Solve Problems.  In the suitcase, in the hold, and it didn’t break.  Wrapped in clingfilm, a carrier bag each, two of The Man’s tee-shirts which I hate so wouldn’t care if we had to throw them out… and the particular stroke of genius of which I am very proud: Son 2’s swimnappies.  One at each end of the bottles. And one turned inside out on either side in case the worse happened.  6 Euros Over There will be Very Nice Over Here.  And Kim, who is keen on the brand, and has been kind enough to comment, at last I can give you your heading…

As I have grown up I have begun to realize how increasingly unimportant the prescience of a mummy is during the Halloween season. When I was little, mummies were everywhere.  There were mummy tombs in my neighbor’s front yards, dogs wrapped in tissue paper, and plastic Mcnugget buddies Happy Meal toys with clip on bandages.

Maybe the fad has died out; the last decent mummy movie was, in fact, The Mummy (1999) starring Brendan Frasier and Rachel Weisz.  It is time for us to relive the terror of the linen cloaked corpse.

How do I propose we re-introduce ourselves to the horror? By introducing ourselves to the laughter.  The first mummy I knew and loved was Klaris, from Abbott and Costello Meet the Mummy (1955). Klaris kicked it old school, he wasn’t computer animated like mummies would be today, Klaris was a real human, stuntman Eddie Parker, wrapped in real linen, with a real clue hidden inside his sarcophagus.  Klaris was so chill, after his re-death in the movie both Abbott and Costello adopt his linen.

Klaris and friends, I miss your aged strips of cloth, your hunger for revenge and your everlasting quests to find your internal organs.

Mummies, I miss your face- Shassie

Fun Fact: In the movie Abbott and Costello Meet the Mummy, the title characters are actually named Peter and Freddie, but throughout the movie they refer to each other as their real names Abbott and Costello.

We have safely arrived in Wamego, Kansas for a lovely week of vacation. And of course some extra celebrations that will be taking place tomorrow. Starting last night, Bill and I have been turning to each other and saying things like, “This is the night you couldn’t get to sleep.” Or, “About now, I was sending the email to work to say I would not be in.” Or, “We were heading to the hospital about now.” It’s hard to believe we’ve already had two years with  our girl. But, all of that is not the point of this post. I’ll post about the joy of celebrating Lizzie’s second birthday, once we’ve made it to 2am tomorrow and she is actually 2. For now we thought we would share some experiences from the trip to Kansas.

Lizzie is getting to be very good at car rides other than the fact that she won’t sleep. We divided our drive between yesterday afternoon/evening and this morning/afternoon and Lizzie has not napped yet. Luckily she did sleep fairly well last night. Anyway, along the drive we introduced Lizzie to a couple of important first for an American child. Two days short of her 2nd birthday Lizzie enjoyed her first Happy Meal. This was followed by the first Frosty (or bites of Mom and Dad’s) today. Here are the pictures:

Lizzie helped to navigate

Lizzie’s first Happy Meal! She pulled the toy out first and got very excited!

Everything that I pulled out of the box was exciting!

After she ate she got to play with her toy. A pony!! It came with a comb, and Lizzie spent the next hour combing her pony's hair.

Lizzie found the guy that just sat on the bench to be rather fascinating. He has red shoes!

Today she was introduced to the Frosty. Her approval was expressed by turning from one parent to the other to get mouhtful.

Lizzie jumped right into the visit to Nana's house by putting on her apron and making cookies!

Lizzie and her nana

Re: Lost property

Back in the day I purchased a Happy Meal. I do not remember the actual act of consumption (I’m sure it was good) but I do remember getting the best gift with it. The year was 1992 and cassingles were all the rage so you guys gave out copies of Peter Andre’s ‘Gimme Little Sign’ with any meal purchase. Chances are I only bought the meal because I wanted that cassingle. Well a few years have passed and I cannot for the life of me find it! I don’t suppose someone has handed a rogue copy in? It would’ve had the initials SS written on it and probably wouldn’t have been in the best condition (visually) but you could bet your bottom dollar it would still play in my Akai double tape deck. I’ve checked the Trading Post and no one has listed such an item. I have also been keeping an eye out at flea markets and the local op shops.

Lets talk business – what are my chances here? I probably don’t need a total meal replacement (although it would be received with open arms if you felt so inclined), however if you wanted to shoot some vouchers my way that would be good. I should probably mention that I would be happy to accept a 100% Hits Vol. 3 as if I remember correctly ‘Gimme Little Sign’ was featured on there. That too may be hard to track down, but perhaps if you hit a few op shops you could have some luck. Let me know how it all goes, in the meantime I will keep you posted on which op shops I visit (just so we don’t double up).

http://mcdonalds.com.au/contactus Sent 20/10/09

Eram mica si mergem aproape in fiecare duminica la Mcdonalds cu ai mei. Asa eram rasfatata, imi cumparau un happy meal cu jucaria aleasa de mine si eram fericita. Evident, nu reuseam niciodata sa termin de mancat, tot farmecul era jucaria aia mica.

And here’s me doing the same thing, doar ca in loc de masa si scaunele dinauntru s-au schimbat in bancheta de la masina, ai mei s-au schimbat intr-un prieten foarte bun iar happy meal-ul s-a schimbat intr-un meniu mcnuggets. It’s the same circle, with different rounds.

Azi trebuia sa mai iau o portie de filme romanesti, asa ca am vorbit cu buna mea prietena de la 3 ani – Andutica sa mergem la “Francesca”. Era de la 17 la Scala. Eu trebuia sa biletele.

Zis si facut, ma pregatesc eu de plecare, planuiesc totul pana la cel mai mic detaliu, ma gandesc la traseul optim pentru a ajunge in timp util la cinematograf, ma relaxez pe net, ma machiez putin, totul merge struna. Cand ma uit la ceas: 17!!! Am incurcat ora la care trebuia sa fiu la cinema cu ora de plecare de acasa. Oare mai poate fi cineva in halul asta de idiot? Sarik zice ca da, si ca se intampla de obicei cand nu esti atent atunci cand stabilesti intalnirea. Dar cum sa nu fiu atenta, ca doar eu am cautat filmul pe “Sapteseri” si eu am zis ce si cum?!?

Si asa a vazut Andutica “Francesca” singura. Eu am ajuns cam la 45 de minute de cand a inceput filmul, numai ca tipa de la bilete n-a vrut sa ma mai lase sa intru. Eu tineam mortis sa intru, asa ca sa nu am obraz gros si s-o las pe Andutica singura, ca doar era vina mea. Dar tipa de la bilete nu si nu. Cica venisem prea tarziu. Prea tarziu sa ce? Ca nu de deranjat spectatorii era vorba, ca doar sunt atatia care vin la 10 min de cand incepe filmul si fashaie punga de floricele. In fine…

Andutica zice ca nu prea i-a placut filmul, ca e cam deprimant (ce surpriza!), cam ca si alte filme romanesti, si ca mai are si final naspa. Na, eu fiind o cinefila convinsa si mai ales o mare sustinatoare a filmului romanesc, tot planuiesc sa merg. Mai trebuie doar sa-l pacalesc pe Sarik, ca la genul asta de film merge numai cu rugaminti.

Asa ca dupa esecul respectiv  m-am dus frumos cu pretenuta mea la o mica bauta, si dupa la cel mai sanatos loc unde se poate manca – MacDonald’s; ideea mea. Ma enerveaza ca mi-am luat Happy Meal si au adus astia numai jucarii urate. Alea pentru fetite, adica niste papusi nasoale din plastic, sunt complet inutile. Adica nu fac nimic. Barem jucariile de baieti sunt niste masinute gen Lego (bine, Lego e mult spus), pe care lipesti niste abtibilduri. Asa cu mi-am luat masinuta.

Mi-e dor de vremea cand la Mac aduceau jucariile alea frumoase, cred ca au trecut mai bine de 10 ani, cand erau jucariile alea “‘Furby”: din plus si cu baterii.

…Ca sa n-o mai lungesc, ziua s-a terminat cu bine.

By Michael MacLeod

FAST food clown Ronald McDonald has been slated by scientists for conning kids into believing Pluto is still a planet.

The tiny space rock was officially judged to be too small to qualify as a planet three years ago.

But space geeks have spotted a recent batch of McDonald’s Happy Meal boxes still stating: “There are nine planets in total.”

Now burger bosses admit they are “aware” of the International Astronomical Union’s (IAU) ruling.

Members of the 10,000-strong IAU took over two years debating how many planets were in the solar system.

And in August 2006 it was declared that the scientific community should now regard Pluto as merely a “dwarf planet.”

But a batch of “fact”-filled McDonald’s Happy Meal boxes offer a different opinion.

They say: “The Solar System is made up of all the planets that orbit our Sun. There are 9 planets in total.”

Cambridge professor Paul Murdin OBE said giving young space enthusiasts out-of-date information was “a shame.

The editor-in-chief of the Encyclopedia of Astronomy and Astrophysics said: “McDonald’s have got this wrong.

“It’s a shame they didn’t check their facts.”

A spokesperson for the fast food firm said: “We are aware of the debate about Pluto.”

See more of our pictures at our Flickr site and videos at our dedicated channel,  Deadline TV.

So, finally a doctor in the UK has been brave enough to speak out and voice what many people already think  – that instead of pandering to the needs of the morbidly and super morbidly obese with free mobility scooters and Disability Living Allowance, they should be made to contribute towards the massive strain they are placing on the health system, by paying more tax. And in turn, those who work hard to remain fit and healthy should be financially rewarded for their effort.

With obesity related issues draining every last penny out of the already overstretched NHS budget and £6.3 billion being spent fighting fat, this scheme sounds about on the mark to me. No doubt it’ll be met with cries of “You can’t say that”, but it has nothing to do with being judgmental or ‘fattist’, it’s just common sense. As is Dr Chand’s proposal to add tax to the type of fattening food that offers little or no nutritional value, yet guarantees maximum ‘junk in your trunk’.

Such a tax would of course cause outrage amongst the loyal Happy Meal brigade, all of whom would shriek loudly that it’s unfair to target those on lower incomes, who consider fast food a cheaper alternative. Quite frankly, tough. Tobacco and alcohol are already taxed in an effort to target smoking related illnesses and binge drinking, so why shouldn’t unhealthy food be too?

And as for the argument that junk food is the cheaper alternative, what a load of rubbish. It’s the easier alternative. With every supermarket offering cut prices bargains and more BOGOF offers than you can shake a stick at, it’s far cheaper to cook simple healthy food that it is to buy in a round of up-sized burgers, chips and coke. Even if you do have limited funds and an army of hungry mouths at home to feed. People who choose takeaways every night over cooking are just lazy, and parents who feed their kid’s junk for breakfast, lunch and tea should be done for child abuse. (see related post).

Strangely enough, many of these parents who claim they can’t afford to buy healthy food for their kids just so happen to smoke and drink. They think nothing of puffing £5 into thin air or pouring it down their throat, but they can’t stretch the family budget enough to incorporate something that hasn’t been regurgitated out of a deep fat fryer and into a styrofoam box. For £5 you can buy an entire chicken. So do you spend your money on 20 cigarettes, or a whole birds worth of protein to feed the kids? There’s the difficult decision of the week.

The argument that fast food is even fast is the biggest myth of all. At tea time it takes less time to scramble an egg, microwave a potato or even cook some pasta than it does to climb into the car, drive to the nearest nugget dispensing outlet, queue up, order, collect and scoff. Of course most children would probably prefer the nugget option, and as such be more likely to eat it up without a moan or a struggle, but since when was feeding them meant to be about taking the path of least resistance?

Children are just that, children. They should be eating what’s right for them, not what’s easiest for the parent, no matter how much money they have, how brain dead they are in the kitchen or whether by the end of the day they’ve simply lost the will to live. God knows I could well do without the constant battles about how many vegetables are lurking on my kid’s dinner plates, but I’d rather deal with the fuss they sometimes make than watch them both turn into Weebles, and wobble right off their Trip Trap chairs.

So is the idea of taxing the morbidly obese ever going to work? Nope, not a chance in hell. Why? Because many of those who fall into this category probably aren’t able to work in the first place. Their size, and the associated health problems that comes along with it, prevent them from carrying out even the simplest day-to-day tasks, never mind holding down paid employment. So if they were forced to pay more tax, they would no doubt need to be awarded more disability allowance to afford it.

Obesity is a problem that will carry on for many, many years to come. In part this is because many of those individuals who are contributing to the problem, simply refuse to accept any responsibility for their own actions. Instead they prefer to blame the government for its lack of support in helping them to lose weight. They complain about the shortage of free local sports centres and wide open spaces in which to jog. They claim that a bunch of carrots are exorbitantly priced and no one ever taught them how to cook.

In answer to that. It’s not up to the government (who lets face it can’t even run the country properly never mind a weight loss club) to prise the fork out of each and every chubby little hand across the land. There are 1000’s of miles of free pavements in the UK, go walk on them. If you can afford to upsize your £4.50 McDonalds meal you can afford a bunch of carrots. Go buy a cook book, or cheaper still, turn on the TV and listen to Jamie Oliver.

It seems incredible that so many people simply refuse to put two and two together and start addressing the problem, instead of comfort feeding and making it even worse. Even with all the fat fighting campaigns, health lectures and awareness raising TV programmes out there, all trying to ram the obvious message home, it’s hard to see what the solution will be.

Perhaps if those who need to shed the weight actually climbed out of their complimentary buggies and used their feet, they might be surprised to find the weight starting to drop off. Obviously there’s no miracle cure to losing this amount of weight, unless you see stomach stapling as a viable option, but it has been done, and is therefore not impossible.

I’m not even going to pretend to have a clue about the horrible vicious circle of a situation that you’d find yourself in, when you reach this sort of size. Or how demoralising and depressing it  could be to live with everyday.

I’m pretty sure that getting the weight loss ball rolling would indeed be painful, and a tremendous struggle of mind over matter to say the least. But any type of exercise was never designed to be easy, it was designed to be exercise. And anyone who’s ever tried a step class (and failed miserably) will know that exercise can be painful, complicated and downright humiliating whatever size you are.

afaef

That’s Spanish if your uncertain and stands for “Happy Box” (or loosely translated into Happy Meal) and it’s the 30 year celebration of the Happy Meal at McDonalds.

First introduced by Dick Brams (McD’s Regional Ad Manager) in 1977 and initially called the “McDonaldland Fun-to-Go” meal.  Since first hitting the market they have included everything from the puzzles, crayola toys, motorcycles, personalities riding motorcycles and movie tie ins.  The McDonalds Happy Meal first movie tie-in was the Star Trek Meal which featured images and games based on the 1979 movie.  In fact, the ‘Teenie Beanie Baby’ promotion created a huge worldwide interest with over a 100 million toys selling out in the first 2 weeks.  McDonald’s has had a lot of controversy over Happy Meals from poor working conditions at a toy factory in Danang, Vietnam (Keyhinge Toys), to recalls and even legal issues with Devo.  Then there is the questionable association with the non-green gas guzzling Hummer and some people even complained over the hearing a four-letter word in the Kidz Bob #6 CD song “I Don’t Want To Be” which turned out to be false.  Sure the rap on Happy Meals is that kids are lured by the toys into eating unhealthy food while the execs focus on high value licensing deals, but many still eat them.

And then there was the Custer/Blackhills/Motorcycle tie-in — it was two fries short of a happy meal — the McD’s marketing department poorly vetted the toy “General” (he was Lt. Col.) Custer who rides again on a motorcycle and was distributed in South Dakota.  Quick to realize they angered the Sioux/Lakota Indians they withdrew it from the market after complaints poured in.

In the end, millions of Happy Meal items have been produced with a lot items turning into memorabilia and has spawned an entire collectors market.   Numerous meals have included motorcycles, people riding motorcycles and even Digi Sportz games which included motorcycle racing.  There is a McDonald’s Collectors Club which holds annual conventions for the serious collectors.  It turns out cycling artifacts not only include books, magazines, promotional items, but to some Happy Meals which has a rich history of the sport and hobby of motorcycling.

Photo courtesy of Happymeal.com

All Rights Reserved © Northwest Harley Blog

Samedi soir, de retour de la Fête de l’Huma à 1h30 du mat’ (merci pour la galère avec les navettes), la faim commence sérieusement à nous tirailler l’estomac, à mon Homme et moi-même …

La flemme de cuisiner et l’heure tardive imposent un passage éclair au McDo. Et puis, avouons-le, un peu de junk food à l’américaine de temps à autre, ça fait du bien !!

Après avoir piétiné tout l’après-midi dans les Grands Magasins et le soir avec quelques 85.000 festivaliers rassemblés devant Deep Purple, nous espérons que l’attente ne sera pas trop longue.

C’était sans compter sur les cadences ralenties du McDonald’s de Pigalle !! La queue avance si lentement malgré les 3 caisses ouvertes que j’ai l’impression que le caissier est lui-même en train d’éplucher les patates pour préparer les frites !

Le groupe de jeunes derrière nous – un peu agité mais plutôt sympa – trépigne de plus en plus d’impatience et de faim !! 

Notre tour arrive enfin et, malgré mes 12 ans largement révolus, j’opte pour un Happy Meal (pour les réfractaires au McDo, comprendre un menu enfant). Comme nous prenons notre commande « à emporter », la célèbre boîte rouge avec les oreilles jaune fait rapidement son apparition sur le comptoir …

Quelques rires fusent immédiatement derrière moi (forcément, je suis plus proche de la trentaine que des 10 ans) et surtout, des questions existentielles en cette fin de soirée : « c’est quoi le jouet dedans ? » ou encore « le dessert, c’est toujours les ptits gâteaux secs en forme de Ronald McDonald ? ».

Et bien non ! Depuis quelques années, sous couvert des diktats imposés par la lutte contre la malbouffe, nos chères têtes blondes ont le choix entre des fruits prédécoupés (sans goût), une pom’pot (sucrée) ou un yaourt à boire (chimique).

Alors cessons 2 minutes d’être hypocrite et avouons tout simplement que non, quand nous venons au McDo, ce n’est pas pour manger « healthy » mais bien pour savourer un bon hamburger, du bacon, des frites, du ketchup, un double menu, des nuggets et plus si affinité !!

Et profitons-en pour réclamer le retour des desserts « gras » dans le Happy Meal !

Sachez également que ce changement dans le menu enfants n’est pas du tout innocent puisqu’il ne s’agit ni plus ni moins que d’une opération marketing (une autre !) destinée à rassurer les parents.

L’objectif est en effet d’amener les plus crédules à croire que McDo, c’est nutritivement bon pour les enfants. Et oui quoi ! McDo aide les bambins à absorber leurs 5 fruits & légumes par jour, c’est bien connu, non ?

Et surtout,  cela va de soi, Ronald et ses dirigeants s’y retrouvent financièrement parlant en mettant en compétition les grandes marques agroalimentaires pour être leur partenaire sur la partie « dessert ».

Le yaourt à boire que j’ai choisi est ainsi un produit Danone. Cela va cependant changer dès la mi-2010 puisque la marque vient de perdre l’appel d’offres de McDo au profit de l’entreprise Senoble.

Mais, pas de panique, Danone demeure néanmoins un des partenaires de McDonald’s avec ses bouteilles Evian et ses flacons d’Actimel.

Reste les célèbres Sundays ou Mac Flurry pour un repas 100% McDonald’s ! Ouf, on est sauvés !!!

Caroline Maizières

Happy meals is the new movie from bHappyFilms for this season, because sometimes snowboarding gets to serious is their philosophy… couldn’t agree with that sentiment enough

check out the full length vimeo upload below, or it should be ready for download on their site real soon.. bHappyFilms.com ….. Enjoy