“We’re Not Meant For the Swamp”

November 15th, 2009

When you’re down to five teams, all bets are off on The Amazing Race.

This is a sentiment that goes for the teams themselves, certainly, but also for the race producers. This is a stage in the competition where there are no more non-elimination legs, and where a single mistake will cost you the race, so the teams certainly need to be willing to play this game to the fullest. However, for the producers, this is when the creation of race-ending narratives becomes their true goal: now, the teams that go home are largely perfunctory, while the teams that stay are integral for building tension in the finale to come in only a few weeks.

This is why this week’s leg becomes more about what the producers want, and don’t want, us to see than what’s actually happen: the results of the leg are never particularly in doubt, as the producers are worried about viewers spotting something far more…indiscrete than the end of the episode.

In terms of the leg itself, it’s really quite simple: after bunching together and effectively giving Gary and Matt a shot at surviving their Speed Bump, the leg separates into those teams who are capable of completing the tasks and those that aren’t. Gary and Matt are the one team who fall into the latter category, derailed less by a five minute sauna and more by Matt’s inability to identify a candelabra (pronounced, it appears, candle-ah-brah) and discover an all-important final word on his scroll during the roadblock. Combined with the Speed Bump, it was enough to quite easily send them home: none of the other teams saw them once the Roadblock was complete, and as a result that part of the episode’s narrative wasn’t in doubt.

What was clear, however, is that the editors didn’t have to work hard to create a sense of a rivalry between brothers Sam and Dan and the Globetrotters. The preview from last week spoiled that there would be some sort of physical altercation, but you’d swear that the rest of the leg was planned out leading to such an altercation. Usually the editors work in canned inteview footage about the two teams, spurned on by producer questions, to create a sense of suspense, but this legitimately built throughout the episode as if it was scripted. The two teams are literally neck and neck leaving the Roadblock, and then through a disagreement over whether a cab was meant for Sam and Dan end up in the SAME taxi heading to the detour. This creates the scenario where the teams are giving interviews about the other team with that other team sitting directly in front of/behind them, which is just fantastic for the growing tension the episode desires to achieve.

It all leads, of course, to the scenario after the Detour (which I’ll get to in a minute) as Sam and Dan are going the right direction while Flight Time and Big Easy made a mistake and went the wrong way, forced to double back despite finishing the detour first. As such, on a narrow path surrounded by the mud-filled bog, it isn’t easy (nigh impossible) for the Globetrotters to pass, and yet they run directly up to the brothers anyways creating a lot of physical tension. The result, as far as instant replay shows, is Flight Time losing his footing and, in the process of falling, taking Dan down with him. When they reach the top of the platform, however, Big Easy “looks like he wants to punch someone” (astute observation from Phil), as he’s attempting to claim that somehow the physicality was the fault of an elbow thrown by Dan. Now, they don’t have the joy of instant replay or multiple camera angles, but the Globetrotters’ attitude about the whole situation is legitimately bizarre: both teams were running at similar paces, and the nature of the path meant that passing wasn’t easy, so why should Sam and Dan yield, or be punished when your attempt to pass fails? Sam and Dan are ultimately right: unless they plan on beating them up, the trash talk at the mat was just empty threats designed to intimidate people, which to me is the sort of race behaviour that is the antithesis of the Globetrotters’ otherwise enjoyable attitude.

There’s no question that having the Globetrotters on the race creates an image issue, so you have to wonder if there’s been any of this sort of activity in the past (beyond the Mika/Canaan incident) that we haven’t seen. I’m not suggesting that they’re being entirely sheltered, but take for example the claim last week (from Sam and Dan, in fact) that the Globetrotters have an unfair advantage because they are using their fame/recognition to get help throughout the race. Before that comment, we hadn’t really seen any evidence of this, despite the fact that in previous seasons we were shown very quickly that Rob and Amber used that to their advantage. The difference is that the show wanted Rob to be a villain, whereas it wanted the Globetrotters to be fan favourites, and thus we have the dilemma. Here, we finally get to see them playing the card, as Big Easy (who always seems to be the instigator of this boisterousness, such as at the airport in this episode or with Mika) calls out to the crowd that surely somebody wants to get the Harlem Globetrotters a taxi. Personally, I don’t care: the show cast them, they can do whatever they want. But what’s intriguing is that we didn’t see it until the producers wanted us to, implying that perhaps the race narrative from this point on is more cutthroat than it has been before. I don’t think either team is a clear cut hero/villain scenario, both teams having their issues (see: next week’s preview), but this sort of rivalry can fuel the race, and the producers had a gold mine of material here.

However, the producers’ biggest impact on this leg was all about the male anatomy, as both Sam and Dan were subject to some post-production blurring during the roadblock. Now, just to be clear, I understand where they’re coming from, considering that just a few seasons ago on Survivor a contestant had an undetected wardrobe malfunction in the middle of a challenge. As such, I think the word “penis” terrifies CBS censors, especially with reality shows that are largely watched by families. However, there are three levels of censoring. One is when there is actually something exposed, like when a woman’s top falls down on Survivor. Two is when nothing is left to the imagination, like (although we obviously can’t confirm) happened with Dan in his tight-fitting underwear during the detour in this week’s episode. However, the third level is something that makes absolutely no sense, in that Sam’s crotch was blurred even when he was wearing shorts over top of his underwear.

Now, I’ve already spent a paragraph longer than I ever expected to talking about penises, but seriously? The chances of something being seen through two layers of clothing is preposterous, which means that effectively (I can’t believe I’m analyzing it this carefully, but to be fair this theory was first pointed out by Andy Dehnart) the show was censoring an erection (which makes sense considering they took the time to add in Sam’s comment about the “hottie Estonian guys” – makes me wonder if the interview would have then discussed his erection were this less of a family program). As such, they’re largely censoring in order to stop a thought process whereby a particular phenomenon draws attention to Sam’s crotch, and then viewers are forced to think about what they’ve seen in order to determine its cause; nothing is actually being seen so much as it is implied, thus creating the awkward thoughts which follow. However, and forgive me if I’m wrong here, but if it hadn’t been censored I’m fairly certain that people wouldn’t have been paying half as much attention to his crotch. The blurring, by nature of being different than everything else on screen, actually drew attention to his crotch, which raises logical questions about why it was censored, which in turn brings the crotch narrative to the forefront of the episode.

Now, if you’re Sam, this is probably a huge compliment, as the need to censor his crotch indicates that there was, in fact, something to see. However, it’s guaranteed that the percentage of the audience who would have seen it would be much smaller than those who noticed the censoring, and since the logic of there really being anything offensive to see is highly improbable the damage couldn’t have been too great. If the concern is small children asking “what’s that,” this is entirely ineffective, since I’m pretty sure they’re asking about it anyways. I’m not suggesting that crotchorship, as I’m calling it, is ridiculous: it makes total sense for a family show airing in an early timeslot to limit the level of sexualized content in each episode. What I would argue, however, is that the three paragraphs of analysis I just offered would not have existed had there been none at all, and that I simply may have made a note that the decision to instruct teams to complete the task in their underwear perhaps gave the producers more than they bargained for in leaving little to the imagination. Which of these, I ask, is more harmful to the show’s reputation?

No, you probably didn’t need three paragraphs on crotchorship theory, but I think it demonstrates an important point: what happens after the cameras stop rolling on this show is often times as interesting as what’s actually going on during the race.

Cultural Observations

• As Dan Fienberg points out on Twitter, and so as to rescue my heterosexuality from the grasps of three paragraphs on crotch blur, it really is unfortunate that the women were less willing to take to their underwear in the challenge.
• I enjoyed Phil building up Sweden as the home of dynamite, the Nobel prize, and Abba – is that in order of importance?
• I also enjoy Matt putting on the black headband, since it signals that they mean business – Gary and Matt were a charming team that just seemed too tired to be able to pass more physically capable teams (either mentally or physically) at this late stage in the race. I did enjoy that they got one last legitimately hilarious moment, with Gary prattling on about his love of saunas while Matt awkwardly sits there avoiding staring at the hot chick next to him, before leaving.
• Maybe it’s just me, but the Brotherhood of the Black Edge is officially the least secret secret society ever if they allowed The Amazing Race to come into its secret lair with cameras.
• My question about the roadblock: was the (red) crayon put there as a red herring? Or was it so that the teams could write the clue once they saw it? Flight Time and Matt might have seemed silly, but a rub is not an illogical first impulse (in other words, Flight Time should have figured out he was wrong sooner, but he was not wrong to guess as such).

“This is The Worst Thing I’ve Ever Done in My Life”

November 8th, 2009

At the heart of every solid episode of The Amazing Race is a narrative of fall and redemption. It is morbidly entertaining to see a team fall apart in the face of pressure, watching as an individual turns into a blubbering mess right in front of us, and when they eventually triumph over adversity (or, at the very least, come to terms with their predicament) it’s even more engaging. There’s something about the Race that brings this out in people, which is why this week’s trip to Sweden is particularly intelligently designed: it is all about creating a scenario where teams will fall apart, and as such given an opportunity to redeem themselves.

It’s also a chance, through the use of the new Amazing Race “Switchback,” for the show to right one of the wrongs in its past by revisiting a particularly infamous challenge. By returning to the scene of the most gruelling roadblock in the show’s history, the show gets to demonstrate how it should have done things last time, in the process creating a good combination of pathos and tension that justify the way in which the task makes the rest of the leg largely irrelevant.

The infamous Hay Bale Unrolling roadblock was physically gruelling, no doubt, but its greatest challenge is emotional. The teams in the front of the pack got onto an earlier flight, raced through the detour without getting lost, and yet was in some ways disadvantaged by having the lowest odds for finding a flag on their first rolls. For the three front-running teams, they needed to overcome both the physical challenge of the task and the emotional challenge of seeing the team who arrived third leave first. On that field, every emotion that had been stored over the past number of legs came bursting to the surface, as Meghan’s frustration over Cheyne’s poor listening skills and Dan’s yelling at Sam turned into a test of their team dynamic in the midst of a challenge where you don’t want to be testing your team dynamic.

Usually these types of challenges that devalue your speed in running the race and which rely entirely on luck or producer contrivance are something I frown upon, but I think this was a worthwhile exercise. There is a legitimate tension when just about anyone could find a flag at any moment, and more importantly the task was so draining that when they did find the flags they were guaranteed a moment of redemption. Meghan, although she tripped in her effort to pull off the ruse, played with Cheyne’s nerves by pretending to quit (which would have fit her general attitude to the task) before displaying the flag, and by the time Sam completed the task to finish fourth Dan had gone from obnoxious douchebag to bawling apologist. Cheyne’s indecision about the Roadblock could have been a sad narrative, with Meghan suffering and furthering their divide as a team, but instead their success brought them closer together. And Dan was emotionally out of control both during (with the yelling) and after (with the crying) to the point where this was a transformative emotional moment for the brothers’ relationship. Instead of the hay bales convincing them that they’re absolute failures in life, it brought both teams closer together, which is what a task like this should do if it’s going to take the skill out of the race.

In doing this “Switchback,” you could tell the producers knew how to improve upon the task. By making the pit stop at the task itself, you avoid an awkward car ride, and the gratification of completing the task and staying alive is instant and thus more emotionally powerful. And, as I had kind of predicted going into the task, the switch over to non-elimination during the task is an important change because it means that no one gets a narrative of failure from the task. Gary and Matt had a rough leg, ending up on the later flight and then doomed by an elevator ride at the Train Station which put them in last place heading into the hay bale challenge. Ultimately, being two stand up guys who appear to care about each other, the team went into the challenge with their heads held high, and Gary neither gave up nor lost Matt’s support in the process. They could have been eliminated with a positive narrative, but the non-elimination guarantees them a reprieve in a way that warms the cockles of the heart. Considering how much they highlighted Lena and Kristy’s departure in the dark field last time, they wanted to be able to rewrite that piece of Amazing Race history, which was done in a successful if contrived fashion.

As for the rest of the leg, it was interesting to see the Globetrotters really emerge as front-runners without necessarily having a great leg – they’re front-runners by nature of their physical prowess and not because they’re overly great at any particular task. Sam and Dan smoked them at the Detour by thinking more quickly about the task, and the Roadblock was just luck. These two are not going to be immune to mistakes down the road, which means that they will need help to win the race outright (and there won’t be tasks like this along the way). Meanwhile, Brian and Ericka rebounded well from last week’s disaster and were downright upbeat during the leg. Ericka could be grating if she decided to be, you can tell part of her wants to, but she willingly gets her nails dirty and she keeps her emotion focused on the positive (as everyone but Dan did well, really) to get them through the roadblock. Without the plane trouble, they’d have gotten through this leg smoothly, so they’re still a threat moving forward.

Overall, a reminder of Amazing Races past reminds us again that these five teams are all pretty likeable even when they lose some of their likeability in the midst of the hay field.

Cultural Observations

• The editing was a bit too obvious at some points (Flight Time talking about how he’d like to get a 1st Place finish for his birthday), but I loved that they never corrected Sam’s presumption that Flight Time and Big Easy were their biggest competition because they were the other all male team – Gary and Matt say hello.
• I’ve probably made mention of this before, but my brother and I are similar in age and demeanour to Sam and Dan, and I don’t care what he says – if I had been the one rolling the bales of hay, he would have been the one yelling on the sidelines.
• Perhaps the show didn’t bother explaining it any further because we didn’t get to see anyone do it, but I found the Viking Alphabet Detour option to be way too abstract to really consider. Of course, I might have just heard “Dynamite” and blanked out on the rest of it as a result.
• I thought teams pronouncing Nobel as “noble” was silly enough, but then I saw the preview for next week – yeesh. I guess this IS the group who didn’t know who Jackie Kennedy was.

When a moment in history happens, we tend to take note of our surroundings so we can later recall where we were and what we were doing when the event unfolded. Sometimes, the moment in history is a tragedy, like President Kennedy’s assassination or the 9/11 attacks.

It’s not always that way though. Other moments where we or someone we know look back on what they were doing include the moon landing and the United States hockey team defeating the Soviet Union in the Olympics.

The story I’m about to tell you falls in the latter category. I don’t think it would classify as an event of national importance, but it’s one I won’t soon forget. I’m talking about the Iowa football team’s last second victory over Michigan State, which gives them their first 8-0 start ever. The only hint of national importance in this is that the Hawkeyes moved up to No. 4 in the BCS standings.

Two months ago, I agreed to emcee a fundraiser for the Indianola Fire Department on Oct. 24. As the date got closer, I came to find out that this would take place at 7 p.m. The Iowa game, in East Lansing, Mich., started at 6. I didn’t mind that so much, since I wasn’t certain I really wanted to watch the Hawkeyes grind out a victory anyway.

My father decided to accompany me to the Des Moines area this weekend, so we got a hotel out by the airport, it was pretty nice. The most important thing is that they had the Big Ten Network, which was carrying the game.

Shortly after turning the TV to the game for Dad, I made my way to Indianola to do the fundraiser. It was a success. With the help of the Granny Basketball League, the fire department raised $1,100 for its education programs. They had a silent auction, they auctioned off some baked goods, and there was a game.

I’ve called numerous granny basketball games across eastern and central Iowa and even into Minnesota, and this was by far the most entertaining game I’ve seen. The firefighters, who ended up winning, were quite energetic, and they teamed up with the grannies for some Harlem Globetrotters-type slapstick on the court. The crowd was pretty energetic as well.

The highlight of the fundraiser had to be this guy dressed as Sparky the Fire Dog. He was playing center in costume when he just launches the ball towards the basket from center and makes it! The officials said it didn’t count because “centers can’t shoot,” but I looked at the rules later and never saw anything that explicitly forbids anyone other than forwards from shooting.

Throughout the game, I checked my iPhone for the score of the football game and would update the crowd during timeouts. It was a low-scoring affair at first, with Iowa leading Michigan State 9-6.

Heading back to Des Moines, I had the game on in the car and was crushed when the Spartans took the lead 13-9 with 1:37 left. I thought there was no way Ricky Stanzi would lead the Hawks down the field and to victory.

But as I pulled into the hotel parking lot, Stanzi was doing just that. I made it into the hotel lobby, where the game was on, and watched Iowa make it into the red zone. The quarterback then threw an interception, which I thought ended the game, but Michigan State was called for holding, which would give Iowa first and goal at the 7-yard line.

So they had four shots to win the game. The first three were incomplete, which left them with one final chance with 2 seconds remaining. I thought I was going to die. When Kirk Ferentz called the team’s last timeout, I rushed up to my room on the second floor, where Dad was watching.

I sat down on the bed, hoping somehow they would pull it off, but not believing they would actually do it. Finally, the ball is snapped. Stanzi finds Marvin McNutt on a slant pattern and McNutt takes it in for the game-winning touchdown.

I heard my father shout. I jumped up and shouted even louder. Somehow, Ricky Stanzi and Marvin McNutt were able to top Sparky the Fire Dog’s incredible play. The Hawkeyes won, 15-13.

When the game ended, Dad and I went next door to a steakhouse that was offering free drinks for hotel guests. I’m not big on alcohol myself, but I went ahead and ordered a Bud Light. I needed it after that game. Besides, “in heaven there is no beer, that’s why we drink it here…”*

*For those not familiar, the polka song “In Heaven There is No Beer” is played when Iowa wins.

Will the real San Diego Chargers please stand up?

Are they the squad that was manhandled for three quarters on national television by the Pittsburgh Steelers earlier in October or the team that obliterated the Kansas City Chiefs in every aspect of the game during Sunday’s 37-7 victory?

They likely are somewhere in between. The Chargers aren’t as bad as that embarrassing night in Pittsburgh and they aren’t as good as they looked Sunday.

It’s always nice to have the Kansas City Chiefs willing to be the modern-day Washington Generals (think the foe the Harlem Globetrotters regularly beat). Sunday’s loss was Kansas City’s 10th straight at home. It wasn’t all that long ago that Arrowhead Stadium was one of the toughest places in the NFL for a visiting team to leave victorious.

That’s not the case in 2009 as the Chiefs look like they would be an also-ran team in the Big Sky Conference. The Chiefs (1-6) have a new regime in general manager Scott Pioli, coach Todd Haley and quarterback Matt Cassel but they are going to need plenty of rebuilding time — not sure if they are using Lincoln Logs or Lego blocks – to get this mess turned around.

Meanwhile, the Chargers (3-3) played their best game of the 2009 campaign. The defense that had been shaky limited Kansas City to 203 total yards with Cassel going just 10-of-25 for 97 yards and three interceptions.

The picks were by the unlikely trio of linebacker Tim Dobbins and reserve defensive backs Steve Gregory and Paul Oliver.  Dobbins had a team-high 11 tackles while starting in place of injured Kevin Burnett. Gregory also had a sack and Oliver emerged from a career-long hibernation to make a key play.

The Chargers even recorded four sacks — defensive coordinator Ron Rivera put together a terrific game plan — with linebacker Shaun Phillips notching his first two of the season. Shawne Merriman remains stuck on zero — unless you opt to count his late-night sack of Tila Tequila in his stat line.

The passing game was solid as Philip Rivers threw for 268 yards and three touchdowns. Vincent Jackson (five receptions, 142 yards) had another big day and it appears coach Norv Turner got the memo that it is OK to include Darren Sproles (five rushes for 41 yards to go with a 58-yard touchdown reception) in the offensive game plan.

LaDainian Tomlinson had a season-high 71 yards but needed 23 carries to get it. When you factor in that one of Tomlinson’s gains went for 36 yards, it wasn’t a good performance at all. Tomlinson had 35 yards on his other 22 carries.

The biggest disappointment was Chris Chambers, the former reliable receiver. Chambers dropped two passes, including a touchdown. Perhaps Turner will show him tape of those two drops over and over to help him understand why Malcom Floyd (who did catch a TD) is now receiving more playing time.

In terms of special teams, Jacob Hester had another big play in this area, blocking Dustin Colquitt’s punt and returning it for a touchdown. It sure didn’t hurt that Kansas City’s Jamaal Charles showed no interest in blocking Hester on the play.

The Chargers have the opportunity to get above .500 next Sunday when they host the Oakland Raiders, a team they have beaten 12 straight times. However, the Chargers struggled to beat Oakland earlier this season so the Raiders can’t be taken lightly.

San Diego badly needs a victory because the three following opponents stack up this way: At New York Giants on Nov. 8; host the Philadelphia Eagles on Nov. 15, and at the Denver Broncos on Nov. 22.

So it appears we’ll learn the Chargers’ true identity during a three-week stretch in November. Beating the Chiefs, however impressive the margin, just isn’t a real indicator these days.

“Do it for the Hood! Do it for the Suburbs!”

October 25th, 2009

Every now and then, The Amazing Race turns mean. In most episodes, there is a moment when everything bunches together so that previous mistakes are erased, but in the sixth episode of the show’s fifteenth season throws the teams to the wolves of Dubai in an effort to test both luck and skill in ways that previous legs might not have. Where some other episodes seemed to be decided by pretty major mistakes, in this instance any small mistake is going to fundamentally alter your position in this race in a way that would doom even a good team.

In the end, the episode is a reflection of how both strong alliances and some less than strong relationships are tested when you place them under this kind of pressure, this kind of tension. The result is a really ugly moment, a really unfortunate personal collapse, and a really smart Wal-Mart purchase.

The big moment of this week’s episode plays against type in a way that we’re not used to in reality television. A moment that looked like a piece of false tension, where Mika and Canaan were struggling to complete the final task (sliding down the Leap of Faith waterslide at the Atlantis resort) while the Globetrotters came up behind them, turned into a moment of legitimate tension (unheard of on most reality shows) when Flight Time and Big Easy actually showed up, requiring that Mika (sitting at the top of the waterslide hesitating mightily) go down in two minutes or make way for the other team. It took a moment that was previously uncomfortable, with Canaan being less than kind as he tore into Mika and even attempted to physically force her down the waterslide, and made it even more ugly as Big Easy begins to taunt Mika in a very un-GlobeTrotter like manner about how she shouldn’t risk her life for the sake of the race. It was one big massive pileup of ugliness, ending when Mika runs out of time, and the Globetrotters live to fight another day.

While Phil mentions that this was one of the most exciting (I think that’s the word he used) finishes of all time, I just found it really hard to watch. Overcoming a fear of heights and water simultaneously is a powerful story if she had been able to do it, but as it was the finish was just sort of sad. I feel for Mika, who appears to be a humble Nashville girl who has never RUN before yet alone been in a competitive setting, whose national humiliation is partly her doing (it’s not her first reality TV show). She would eventually be blamed for their loss, Canaan being in peak physical shape and desperately competitive, which was coming any day considering how often they were in the back of the pack. However, for it to happen this way was more than the poor girl deserved. While he claims in interviews that he doesn’t hate her for what she did, his behaviour at the top of that waterslide was the worst sort of teamwork: yes, Big Easy was being the antithesis of a GlobeTrotter, but Canaan was being the antithesis of a boyfriend, teammate and everything else, which is infinitely worse in the context of a team-based race.

What’s interesting is how that one task overshadowed what was an interesting leg in its own right, one without a single instance of bunching and (as a result) a whole bunch of shakeups on the leaderboard. With their Fast Forward lead left entirely intact, giving them two hours on the other teams, Meghan and Cheyne easily cruised through the tasks even after a bit of a stumble at the Detour, finishing in first without much of a challenge. However, everyone else went through some shuffling as we saw two tasks that were all about attention to detail, although in one instance an attention to detail that could be easily fixed and in the other once that no one should have legitimately struggled with.

In the Roadblock, I was waiting for the moment when one of the teams would mess up the combination: the race is intense, and in the insane Dubai heat and with killer fatigue kicking in it makes sense that someone would struggle to get the combination to a briefcase at first. However, six of the seven teams figured out immediately that the watch stuck at 8:35 would indicate a code of 835 for the briefcase, except for one. That one team, the Globetrotters, went from fourth place (already down from 3rd after a shortening of the location to “Yacht Club” got them taken to the wrong spot) to last as Big Easy just could not figure out what was wrong with his attempts to read the watch in a more literal fashion (87?, taking the position while ignoring the time and the lack of a third number, one which could have been possible with a second hand had they planned on that being the solution). It was one of those scenarios where we as the audience cannot fathom how they can’t figure it out, but unlike with Mika (whose moment on the waterslide was a similar armchair Racer moment) it seems unfathomable that after all that time he never once decided on another approach as opposed to presuming that he had the numbers misaligned or something ridiculous like that. It was a strange mistake to make, but one which nearly cost them the race in a tight leg.

Meanwhile, attention to detail continued to play a role in the Detour, albeit in different ways. With the Hookah construction, it was all about the little details: missing pieces that didn’t have a logical place if you only glanced quickly, and the hoses needing the match the pipes for both colour and pattern. However, with the Gold counting, the issue was that the details were constantly changing, and thus the real trick was figuring out that unless your long division is really good and really fast you’re going to need a calculator. And, as it turns out, Sam and Dan were at Wal-Mart before the race and picked one up, a plug for Wal-Mart’s one-stop shopping reputation and a great test of their alliance with Maria and Tiffany. The latter team was quick to figure out what actually needed to be done with the numbers (division is apparently not America’s pastime), and using Sam and Dan’s calculator and yelling between rooms were easily able to leap frog the teams constructing. The result was a breakthrough performance for both teams, leapfrogging Brian and Ericka and Gary and Matt into second and third place, enjoying a Baywatch moment and showing the power of teamwork (and good shopping) in the race.

Legs like this really bring out how small things like that can really sink a team, and how the elements can play a role as well. The heat got more than a few teams down, Matt to the point of having to rest during the Detour out of exhaustion, and it can do things to your head. It made for a really tough leg as everyone was at wit’s end and had tasks thrown at them that encouraged the kind of mistakes that the leg was going to punish. It’s unfortunate that, in the end, it was an unfortunate collapse and a really ugly conclusion where the effects of the leg really came into play, as someone’s struggle to overcome their fears became a sad commentary on the state of her relationship and the charity of novelty basketball teams alike.

Cultural Observations

• I’m not always in support of legs that have been clearly designed, but when it’s to encourage open racing and without bunching I can’t complain. The teams clearly arrived more than 12 hours before departing, so they were let out at a time that made the tasks possible and which really kept things organized the way the producers wanted.
• Loved that the title quote was actually from the two teams, as Sam and Dan jump up my favourite team scale with their suburbs response to the Globetrotters’ refrain.
• Brian and Ericka had a rough leg with the details part of things, but they continue to have a real sense of honest fun with things. Ericka is prickly, but it’s something that they turn into comedy (the math struggles reflecting on America’s education system, or her fear of the waterslide very clearly done only for him and for no other reason). They have a fun relationship that helps them get through these moments, and their experience at the waterslide was so far away from Mika and Canaan’s that it makes me think that couples should have to have relationship evaluations before going on the race for the sake of their mental health, drama be damned.
• Dubai is an interesting setting to spend two episodes in, and I thought the show did it justice on that front: we saw a lot of diverse settings in the area, and it’s fascinating to know the city effectively didn’t exist during my lifetime. The contrast of old and new, the old feeling more artificial than the new in some ways, is really intriguing to watch.
• The various rowing techniques were a comic highlight, although it was interesting to see how much they all seemed to struggle with it. I can see Big Easy needing to use his arms with the size of the boat, but rowing is about rhythm and only Maria/Tiffany seemed to really pick up on that amongst the later teams.
• Have to wonder if the Globetrotters would have been able to catch them if they had done the Hookah Detour – the gold seemed quicker (especially since apparently the people next door would have given teams a calculator, if their experience was any indication), but the travel distance might have evened it out. Either way, one can never know.

Imágenes de lo ocurrido ayer en el Gimnasio Polideportivo de la Ciudad Jardín.

____________________________

Créditos a ChesterUC

(Season 15, Episode 4)

This was a pretty frustrating episode to watch. But I’d imagine it was even more frustrating if you watched CBS commercials, as they gave away who lost their passport, essentially eliminating the highs and lows that those of us who didn’t see that went through.

They’ve been doing much the same thing with the current season of Survivor, making me wonder how far this can go? It’s been getting worse and worse with advertisements giving away more of the pertinent plot points in the hopes of luring viewers back to the screens. But if you give it all away, what’s the point of watching?

The challenges of the week didn’t seem particularly challenging, involving finding a woman with a matching scar and acting like a monkey. I don’t count the motorcycle challenge because only one team did it … and I have my suspicions about that family. Did TAR plant families of four in the streets of Cambodia to buy helmets?

As for that missing passport, it was about as heartbreaking as you could imagine. Justin and Zev managed to go from the back of the pack to a very impressive first-place finish. I knew something was up when they didn’t show us the Travelocity trip the pair had won.

As it turns out, one of the two of them lost their passports (or Zev’s at least). I liked how they didn’t turn on one another, but it was still upsetting when they couldn’t find it, and Maria and Tiffany eked out another miraculous save.

That may be the first time that a team came in first on a leg and wound up eliminated. It must be a frustrating end for an exciting journey for them. If I ever go on this show, my passport will be taped to my ass at all times (and I’ll be wearing four pairs of underwear).

“Sean Penn, Cambodia, Here We Come!”

October 11th, 2009

The job of being an editor on The Amazing Race is really a tough one. In each episode, you need to turn the unsuspenseful into the suspenseful, and emphasize the zany in the mundane. Of course, it helps that often The Amazing Race is suspenseful, and that it is often extremely zany, and that the cast of characters involved can often enhance both of these elements. As such, it is likely every editor’s dream to receive a team like Zev and Justin, who deciding that Phnom Penh is actually Sean Penn, and who strike up a hilarious and fantastic relationship with their cab driver Thierry.

However, the editors also have to come to terms with how, precisely, they’re going to send someone home. Last week, Marcy and Ron got sent home after struggling with a Detour (they were just too slow, plain and simple), so Marcy got a lot of talking heads about her father’s time in Vietnam. The episode was a sendoff, albeit it a slight one, a last hurrah. In other instances, the editors love playing up irony or the impact of a single mistake, and sometimes they even play a game of Schadenfreude.

But as the teams race through Cambodia, the editors have the toughest job of all: turning triumph into adversity in a split second. It’s a chance of pace the episode handles with the grace of a newborn giraffe, heightening my sympathy for the difficulty of the editors’ job while also lowering my interest in this season, all in one fell swoop.

We were shifting emotional gears without a clutch in that scene where, after Zev and Justin check in after a leg both hilarious and triumphant, moving from the back of the pack into first place even after falling behind at the roadblock, we find them searching through their bags. The previews from last week told us that someone was going to lose their passports, so I spent the entire episode scanning to see if they had their fanny packs, but it was a single piece of paper that was misplaced somewhere in the leg that was missing. Chances are they had been racing without it all day, falling out somewhere in the labyrinth of the Russian market or perhaps even back at the airport. There’s no way of knowing where it fell out, and with the sun starting to set we finally see the team that was getting me excited about this season giving up: there was no way they could find it before the other teams arrived, so they are forced to walk away from the race in the worst way possible.

Really, this wouldn’t have had any impact if it had happened to another team, but these two were on fire all episode. Their relationship with Thierry was legitimately fantastic to watch, as the cab drive took to their discussions of karma and their legitimate kindness. Justin got called “a very nice man” by the woman at the standby counter, Zev had a few great one-liners, and overall I was just plain charmed. They’re like an odd couple comedy pairing that gets along enormously well, and while Zev’s patience temporarily disappeared during the Roadblock they got back on track quickly until finally being derailed. Zev chalks it all up to a mistake that can’t be fixed, while Justin blames himself and his sense of carelessness, but neither of them are at fault: careless or no, they ran a fantastic leg that was enormously entertaining to watch, and you could see the editors having fun with it. Sometimes, you presume we saw so much of one team because they were leaving soon (Marcy and Ron, for example), but these guys would have dominated this episode regardless.

Seeing them go home this early is honestly painful. They were one of the teams that really stood out, emerging as something different than what we’ve seen before. Mika and Canaan? Megan and Cheynne? There’s nothing that draws me to these teams except for their incompetence. I wanted to see Zev and Justin succeed, whereas I only want to see most of the other teams continue to not recognize Jackie Kennedy. I think that the editors managed to make the other teams pretty engaging here, but only because of their mistakes: this was a very funny and enjoyable hour of television until things turned sour, and at that point it was just unmitigated sadness.

I won’t stop watching, as I like the race and I do want to continue to see great sequences like Flight Time and Big Easy running down a fleeing woman and then nearly crushing her against a stall. That kind of thing is still kind of great, and next week’s trip to Dubai seems like the kind of diverse leg that would definitely challenge teams. However, just as I was starting to really root for a team, they disappear: it’s Mike and Mel all over again, and I just wish there was something we could do to keep this from happening.

So, if I don’t blog for a while, it’s because I’m patenting to a tattoo passport.

Cultural Observations

• In the words of Seth and Amy, REALLY? These people didn’t know who Jackie Kennedy was? I’m Canadian, and I knew who Jackie Kennedy was. In fact, I knew from the long-shot of the image in the newspaper, yet alone the close-ups that the players would have been afforded. I know they’re in a race, so they didn’t look at it quickly, but the episode got a lot of mileage about people believing it is Queen Elizabeth, or a Queen, or someone who CLEARLY looks Cambodian in a black and white photograph.
• Brian and Ericka aren’t my favourite team on the team by any means, but I thought that their team name of Jungle Fever is so bad it’s kind of clever – I’ll be curious to see where they go from here, as after some early struggles they’re a strong male/female team that could go far.
• Lance’s performance at the mat gave us another classic Phil reaction (although one edited in after the fact, although he had one similar in the long shot we saw), but he seriously needs to leave soon.
• Maybe it’s just me, but the Harlem Globetrotters gear seems like cheating to me: unlike Rob and Amber, who would actually be recognized no matter what clothes they wore, two big black men could be something other than Harlem Globetrotters, so the gear is an unfair advantage for luring in American-born helpers.
• The Roadblock and the Detour were kind of interesting: the former was way too easy and ultimately irrelevant, but the latter had some real strategy. The “Cover” option would have been really challenging if a lot of teams had done it, but when only Lance and Keri did it this wasn’t the case. It’s one thing to find one family, it’s another to find four or five, so the scarf option would be safer in terms of potential numbers if potentially more challenging.

(Season 15, Episode 3)

It’s bad enough Lance comes across as more of a meathead than a lawyer on this show. Knowing that he’s a lawyer, though, means he’s just perpetuating negative stereotypes of the profession.

Yes, he’s strong-willed and competitive, which are good traits in the legal profession, but he’s also treating his fiance like complete and total crap and refusing to own up to his role in any of their mishaps, of which there were many this week. Plus he has the patience of a six-year-old at Disney World.

–>to continue reading, follow the link over to the full article on CliqueClack TV

CBS’ race around the world premiered with a blast, with their two-hour pilot episode earning hurrahs from fans ’round the globe (including me) with more twists and turns awaiting teams, one of which we already witnessed with a single team being eliminated right there and then at starting point.

The two hour premiere is very complementing as viewers get the chance to get to know well initially all participating teams, which avoids confusion brought by round abouts of the race.

Here are the teams:

MIKA and CANAAN ~ (Newly Dating) Mika Combs (22) is an aspiring singer while Canaan Smith is a songwriter, his work includes the popular hit Runaway. I like Canaan’s competitive mindset, though I was a bit disgusted by the way she treats Mika in crucial points like saying “she wanna ripped her head off.” I hope they stay in game for a long period, though I doubt they would win the million dollar.

ZEV and JUSTIN ~ (Friends) Zev Glassenberg (26) is a sport fanatic with Asperger Syndrome (an autism spectrum disorder; people with it therefore show significant difficulties in social interaction, along with restricted and repetitive patterns of behavior and interests) while Justin Kanew (30) is a VP of Production and Development for National Lampoon. This team is very promising for me and I do hope they would be one of the team to compete in the final three. They tend to be hot headed and clumsy sometimes but I think they’ll get better as the race progresses.

SAM and DAN ~ (Brothers) Sam and Dan McMillen are gay brothers, both came out to each other just last summer with a result of their new found closeness. Asked if they are anxious on comin g out in national television, I admire their answer saying the only fear they had is that people would tend to just identify them as gay rather than the other whole lot hosts of their intricate personality.

MEGHAN and CHEYNE ~ (Dating) Tagged as the blue team, Meghan Rickey (23) and Cheyne Whitney (23) have a very cute love story. The two met during elementary school playing tetherball with a 10 years of friendship, now in their five years of being a couple. What I like with this team is Meghan’s great effort in catching up with Cheyne’s cliche “men competitiveness.” Not your usual “all-complain-blond,” she’s doing the challenges with the best shot she can give. Cheyne on the other hand is very patient compared to other boyfriend racer and is very understanding, which is opposed to his “all high and might jock” image.

FLIGHT TIME and BIG EASY

photo courtersy of homorazzi.com

~ (Teammates) Herbert Lang (32) and Nathaniel Lofton (28) are friends both members of the widely renowed group of Harlem Globetrottters (group exhibiting spectacular basketball moves and tricks that visited Philippines last May 2009). I admit their physiques were real advantage but we all know that’s not what all it takes to be the champion in this crazy race. Anyway, their positive outlook would definitely push them to stay longer in the race or probably give them the chance to grab the million dollar prize.

MARCY and RON ~ (Dating) I said I won’t have favorites this early but I guess Marcy Maloy (60) and Ron Shalita (59) would definitely be one of them. This couple made me giggle in cuteness with them saying “at 60 you can be strong, sexy, vibrant and energetic.” And truth be told! It’s never too late to love right. I must admite Marcy has a tendency to be a little bit side-tracked so I wish she’ll learn to get better during the race.

BRIAN and ERICKA ~ (Married) Marked as the interracial team, Brian Kleinschmidt (27) and Ericka Dunlap (27) exchanged vows two years ago, a clear example that love isn’t just blind but actually color blind. Brian is a Markeitng Tour Manager while Ericka is 2004’s Miss America.

MARIA and TIFFANY ~ (Friends) Maria Ho (26) and Tiffany Michelle (25) are friends for years and are actually professional poker players. In fact, they last women standing in the World Series of Poker Championship Event in 2007 and 2008. Initialy, they try to hide the fact they are actually renowned pro poker players but in a sudden twist of game, someone recognozed the two in an airport plus the fact that other teams were in doubt of them being worker in a non-profit organization.

LANCE and KERI ~ (Engaged) Lance Layne (41) is actually a self-made lawyer (I don’t know what the hell does that mean) with a passion for karate while Keri Morrione (33) is health care finance manager. After Lance proposed last winter, the two are trying to test their relationship in this race around the world hoping with a result of tying the knot soon.

GARY and MATT ~ (Father/Son) This duo actually has to deal with their many differences aside from the obvious age gap. However, Gary Tomljenovich (47) and son Matt Tomljenovich (22) share common thought in entering this race; and that is to give their best shot and establish a bond that will strengthen their father and son relationship.

ERIC and LISA ~ (Married) It was so sad to see this team go and even experience the much awaited race. Eric Paskel (41) and wife Lisa Paskel (43) are married yoga teachers. They were the first to be eliminated in this season’s new twist as they got kicked off the race at its starting point.

You probably would notice which teams am rooting for but I think it’s too early to judge now. Anyway, this season of the race spans eight countries in 21 days so expect the usual crazy stuff, fun and excitement the Amazing Race never fails to give to its audience. [Plus, there are so many hot players huh! =)]

This week we’re adding a new feature to GonzoGeek.  Every Friday we will lay out a list of links that all us GonzoGeeks enjoyed in the last week.

And we’ll serve it with a side of cheesecake.

Enjoy.

A Q&A regarding Auburn football.  Thanks to Evan Woodbery.

And equal time for the Gators, courtesy of Jeremy Fowler.

Meet Sugar Dunkerton.  Gotta love a guy rocking a 70s Globetrotter gimmick.

And speaking of rocking, Living Colour is back!

John’s favorite Twitter feed.

A father is 3 is deployed to Iraq.  Follow him here.

Back to our roots.

Robin Trower from 1973.  Rock on!

And finally, Viva Los Straightjackets!

By HarlemGal

Photo provided by The Amazing Race on CBS

Did anyone watch the season premiere of The Amazing Race on CBS, Sunday September 27th? One of the teams competing for the big prize are Herbert Lang and Nathaniel Lofton, two members of the Harlem Globetrotters.
From what I saw on the tube this past Sunday, they have some serious potential to win it. First, who knows the importance of team spirit better than a Harlem Globetrotter? Second, they have stamina from all that precise dribbling up and down the basketball court. Third, they are known to pull a few tricks out of their magic hat on the court. That skill could seriously help with the different challenges ahead. And last, they have traveled all over the world with the Globetrotters. They have a landscape edge based on their travels. Given their potential, HarlemCondoLife will be watching every Sunday and rooting for Herbert and Nathaniel! Go team!

Photo provided by The Amazing Race on CBS

(Season 15, Episode 1)

I would love to participate in this show. This show or Survivor I think would be a lot of fun, and certainly an experience worth cherishing for a lifetime. However, if they pulled a stunt like they did tonight and I was the one unlucky enough to be on the wrong end of it, I’d be pissed.

Survivor’s done it already, and now The Amazing Race submitted to temptation to be unnecessarily cruel. At least the rest of these first two legs proved more entertaining than a lot of last season. How can you not have fun with a Japanese game show, mud slinging and duck herding?

But before we could get to any of that, Phil had a test to see who was paying attention.

–>to continue reading, follow the link over to the full article on CliqueClack TV

For a real challenge, try to figure out which team are the two Harlem Globetrotters.

“The Amazing Race” is one of my favorite TV shows of all time. During the season premiere tonight, I noticed the show blatantly explained that one of the teams of two are Harlem Globetrotters. I’ve decided to start a series on “Paints in the Point” dedicated to covering their performance during the race, entitled “Globetrotting with the Globetrotters.”

“Globetrotting with the Globetrotters” is a tale of two black men traveling the world, using their unique combination of acting and basketball skills in attempt to win the race and the million dollar prize. Will they flatten the competition like they flatten the Washington Generals game after game? Will they survive until the next episode? Read and find out!

The most Globetrotter-y team on "The Amazing Race" this year.

Their names: Flight Time and Big Easy. I like them infinitely more. Until I find out that their real names are “Herbert” and “Nathaniel,” respectively. A quote from their bio, courtesy of The Amazing Race at CBS.com:

Herbert believes he can get along with anyone on the planet and that he brings joy and laughter to all corners of the globe. Standing at 6′3,” Herb is known among his colleagues as “Flight Time.”  Nathaniel, who goes by the name “The Big Easy,” towers over the competition at 6′9,” and admits to being worried that seating could present a problem on some of the flights.

Both have traveled extensively with the Globetrotters. Herbert has traveled to over 60 countries, and Nathaniel has traveled to over 30 countries. Despite their love of exploring new places, and their extensive knowledge of other countries, they’re eager to see how well they can travel together when it is just the two of them.

Even if their fancy footwork does not translate to winning the $ 1 million prize, they both are confident that their relationship will remain the same regardless of where they end up in the Race.

But even some teams manage to mess up “Flight Time” and “The Big Easy” by calling one of them “Easy Flight.”

In a new twist this season, teams must complete a challenge to get their airline tickets. There are only eleven sets of tickets for the twelve teams. The team left without tickets are immediately eliminated. Teams must find a specific Japanese license plate from a large wall of them from around the world. Teams are given a hint in the clue in the form of Japanese characters printed at the top.

Flight Time and Big Easy are one of the first five teams to clear the challenge, and are on the first flight, an American Airlines one. Appropriate for perhaps one of the most unique institutions of America, along with apple pie. This season’s title sequence starts, where each team gets about five seconds of screen time, each clip with something that represents their team. So, what do the editors choose? Both guys spinning red-white-and-blue basketballs on one finger. How original.

“Sweet Georgia Brown” plays as they introduce themselves to the other teams in the airport. I hope this doesn’t become a recurring theme throughout this season. While the song itself is great, I don’t think I need to be reminded who the tall African American guys are week after week.

The first Roadblock (a task that only one team member performs) is “Sushi Roulette,” a “Japanese game show” (a term I placed in quotes because it is only slightly more Japanese than the failed ABC reality program, ”I Survived a Japanese Game Show!”, as the producers of “The Amazing Race” created their own game show, instead of finding a real show) in which teams have to eat sushi (view the video). All teams sit around a large wheel, with an arrow in front of each of them. The host spins the wheel. Sushi that lands in front of a team must be eaten. If a “Wasabi Bomb” (a large amount of wasabi and rice, wrapped in some seaweed) lands in front of a team, they have two minutes to finish it, or else they must do it again. Through editing magic, a highly stereotypical Asian woman yells “Eat da Wasabi!”

The first few people attempt eating the wasabi bomb and are successful. When the Wasabi Bomb lands in front of Big Easy, and he downs it in approximately 90 seconds, when most other teams were taking the full two minutes. They are the sixth team to leave the challenge.

After leaving “Sushi Roulette,” teams must lead a group of twenty people in the audience with a certain color visor through the crowded streets of Tokyo to the end of the leg. As they are leaving, Flight Time asks Big Easy how it tasted:

“It tasted like money.”

“Boy, you mothered that thing.”

As they lead their group through Tokyo, Flight Time notes that when the native people saw Big Easy,

“They thought Godzilla was walking through that street.”

The editor reminds everyone that they are members of the Harlem Globetrotters by playing “Sweet Georgia Brown” again.

They start going down the wrong street, but end up at the Pit Stop (where they check-in and stop for a mandatory rest period of twelve hours) in fifth place.

Since the episode was two hours long, after a commercial break, they start racing again. Big Easy and Flight Time leave at 12:42 AM, a half hour behind the leading team.

The clue indicates that they must travel to Ho Chi Minh City, Vietnam. Big Easy and Flight Time agree that their attitude to the other competitors is the same:

“Game on, we’re not feeling sorry for you.”

They arrive with the other teams, where they learn that they have to travel to Cai Be. The ‘trotters get on the first bus at 3:30 PM, about an hour ahead of the other teams. They arrive in the small town, where they are instructed to get on a boat and go to a fruit farm on the other side of the river. The boat dock is closed, and teams wait until next morning for it to open. Their challenge at the farm is to pile mud around a the trunk of a tree. Big Easy and Flight Time leave in fifth place.

The next Roadblock: duck herding. In one of the greatest challenges of all time, teams have ten minutes to lead 150 ducks across a bridge from one end of the pen to the other end, and back again, using only two long sticks with flags on the end.

Duck herding: the next Olympic sport?

Flight Time has an obvious advantage: his enormous wingspan. He does work (beating the last duck with the stick to get it into the pen), and they travel to the next Pit Stop, the Bassic III Riverboat, and finish third in this leg. After this episode, they are definitely my favorites.

For a full recap of the episode, check out the CBS.com recap.

Will the Globetrotters continue trotting the globe? Find out next week on “Globetrotting with the Globetrotters!”

“They Thought Godzilla was Walking Down the Street”

September 27th, 2009

There’s a point in the 15th Season Premiere of the 7-time Emmy winning The Amazing Race where Sam and Dan (the gay brothers) note that they have a problem: at various point in the race, both of them step up to be the leader and the result is a heated argument in Vietnam and a delayed arrival at the pit stop. At heart of that moment, and this episode, is the idea of leadership, of being able to find an individual dynamic that allows two teammates (who could be very similarly or very different) to trust one another to get to the mat in first place.

Leadership was the central theme in a premiere that challenges racers to herd large groups of both people and fowl, something that is challenging for one person when they don’t speak the language but which becomes even more difficult when you have two people who can’t decide who the leader is, or when you have one teammate completing a task while another yells at them from the nearby gazebo. The teams that succeed on the race are those who are able to establish a team, which operates in such a way that they each lead one another, and where splitting them apart or asking them to lead others sees them shifting roles to fit the situation.

This year’s premiere isn’t quite as emotional as last year’s, nor does it feature such an intense finish line dash, but over its two hours we get to see a good balance of tasks which test the fortitude of these teams, challenge their ability to handle both luck and the game’s contrivances, and perhaps most importantly answers the question of whether or not Phil Keoghan would make a good Japanese Game Show host (the answer? Of course he would.). It’s an enjoyable return for a show that I really enjoy, although one which is particularly tough to cover in the early going.

Starting in Los Angeles, the show gives us an early twist that really rubs salt in the wound: with a license plate challenge that’s all about reading your clues (an important lesson that the teams hopefully learned from this task), Eric and Lisa take their free spirit “Hood Yoga” off to seclusion without even leaving Southern California. It’s an unfortunate distinction, but I’m generally not a fan of twists that totally destroy these people’s hopes and dreams of seeing a foreign country and experiencing the positive benefits of the race. Yes, 12 teams sent out some alarm bells, but it still seemed a touch too cruel for me personally. I like my Amazing Race with a little bit of heart to it, and this seemed mean even after Eric and Lisa considered themselves martyrs so that everyone else could enjoy themselves.

The entire Japanese leg was an example of something that never quite felt right, which is why the non-elimination reveal seemed inevitable. An early eating challenge is not unheard of, and it seemed as if the Wasabi was the right kind of eating challenge wherein it was difficult but not impossible (I believe it was either Sam or Dan who completed it in like 55 seconds), but the lottery element of the Sushi Roulette meant that teams had no control over when they left. It was a unique structure for the race, and coming right off an elimination it seemed as if there needed to be more of an element of control for when an elimination would be taking place.

The challenge which came after, herding twenty middle-ages tourists through the streets of Tokyo in order to get to a shrine, was one that depended on who was doing the herding. Some teams worked well with the tourists (Cindy was crazy, yes, but related to them in her camp counsellor way), others worked well with directions, and others lucked out by finding themselves some help (Brian and Ericka, who left the eating challenge last, made up a ridiculous amount of ground). But for those teams who lost people in their rush to get to the pit stop, including our professional poker players masquerading as charity workers, or who weren’t able to work together to get to where they needed to go, like our professional poker players masquerading as charity workers, the challenge proved too much to handle. When Phil announced it was a non-elimination leg, and tacked on a worthless 2-hour penalty which would be wiped out by bunching on the flight to Vietnam, they were given a second chance when they perhaps didn’t deserve one.

The Vietnam leg was considerably more complex, and therefore more interesting if not enjoyable. I say that it wasn’t enjoyable because, while I love people struggling to fall into water and hilariously attempting to control a huge herd of ducks, I less enjoy alpha male racers yelling at their girlfriends/wives from the sidelines. The mud challenge was a pretty simple little physical task that didn’t involve any sort of thinking, which largely left the order the same for the duck herding. Yes, it was entertaining to see Zev (the Asperger’s sufferer) turn out to be the duck whisperer, and seeing people struggle with challenges can be funny when they think it’s funny. But as it came down to the final two teams, it became about which of the men could yell at their girlfriend/wife more, and there’s nothing enjoyable about seeing so many of them (Brian, Canaan, Cheyne, Lance, Garrett) fall into that pattern at some point or another. The world doesn’t need more Colin (of Colin and Christie), just as The Amazing Race doesn’t.

Ultimately, the elimination of Garrett and Jessica was pretty predictable: we had gotten way too much of their story (On and Off relationship, planning to either marry or end the relationship) for it to continue into future weeks. We didn’t get the same emotional hook for anyone else with that kind of persistence, meaning that they were the most likely to face Philimination when they reached the boat. There are five young male/female teams competing this year, all seeming pretty physically strong, and yet one of them went out early, which tells you how important it is to be able to communicate and deliver when you really need to do so.

As far as teams I like, I enjoy Sam and Dan and Zev and Justin perhaps the most. Sam and Dan had their leadership struggles, but my brother and I have effectively had that same argument while traveling and it’s normal to show some emotion. They ultimately came out fine, and I enjoyed their celebration/lamentation at being in 9th at the first pit stop: they’re competitive, but not so competitive that they let it blind them from having some fun and keeping their heads in the game. Meanwhile, Zev and Justin are enjoyable because it’s an example of a disorder which isn’t as sappy as last Luke’s deafness, and that is more of a social disorder which makes for both an intriguing story and (not to say it’s being exploited) some great television. Justin is very patient and careful with Zev, staying calm when the clue goes missing and carefully returning to get it without disrupting things too severely, but Zev is painfully honest and his interviews are an early highlight. Asperger’s is obviously a series condition, but it’s one that shouldn’t keep him from completing the race as long as he has a strong partner with him, and I like their dynamic.

As far as early teams to dislike, I find the poker players (Maria/Tiffany) to be playing a misguided game, which makes them kind of uninteresting to watch. It’s not that their rich, as I really couldn’t care less about that, but their rolling backpacks and their inability to communicate as a team are an example of a team that isn’t quite villainous enough to be really entertaining and not fun enough to make for good T.V. otherwise. They managed to survive a really pitiful Speed Bump (more like a Rumble Strip, really), which proves nothing and does little to make me interested to see them stick around. The same goes for Mika and Canaan, who lost points both for overdoing the Christian angle (God is not going to take time to help you win the Amazing Race) and for Canaan’s rather horrid treatment of Mika during the final Roadblock, and for Lance and Keri, the former of which yelled and complained a bit too often for me to really want to see them around for too much longer.

And while there was some talk ahead of time about some of the all-male teams being too dominant (Harlem Globetrotters Flight Time and Big Easy, in particular), or that the male/female teams looked too strong, but it’s Father/Son Gary and Matt who prove to be the most adept at the roadblock and who manage to get to the mat in first place. While the leg valued physical strength, their farmhand experience made short work of mucking around and herding animals, and you always need to remember that strength will only get you so far. When you have two people willing and able to work together, anyone can win this race, which is part of the fun of the whole thing.

Cultural Observations

• Was there really no Detour? I wasn’t paying enough attention when the mud task (which was pretty darn simple) was put forward, but I didn’t hear two options, which either means there was another option that was canceled or detours will no longer happen in each leg. I’ve heard of them cutting out tasks that don’t adjust the order before, usually in the first leg, but I think this is new.
• Those torrential rains in Ho Chi Minh city were pretty intense.
• Props to the production department for the Japanese Game Show fun – the insanity and graphics are the best part of ABC’s I Survived a Japanese Game Show reality series, and the basic idea was put to get use here with the “Wasabi NAME” showdown placards.
• One plus for the poker players: taking the two-hour penalty as opposed to dragging their entire group of people around Tokyo. We saw people with injuries, people who had to go to the bathroom, and people who needed to be carried to the pit stop (and looked really embarrassed about it), so to subject them to that epic search would be a bit much. Props to the camera crew for finding them, though!
• You can find out with a google search everywhere they’re going this year, and episode titles ruin it anyways, but I kind of like the surprise.
• Interesting how last year’s big gimmick (actually showing us what time things are happening at, and using split screen to show different teams/groups) has disappeared – perhaps they don’t want to overload the gimmicks in each episode, which makes sense.

Doogie nailed it.

Here’s the list of nominees and winners. I was a miserable 6 of 18 on my predictions, but there were a few upsets. So, attention DVR People – my comments below include spoilers! Now I’ll wait a minute while those people leave the room and seat-fillers take their place…  

Gone? Okay…cue my theme music!

Let’s hear it for the boy! Doogie was great – killing it with an opening number that was acerbic and funny (and props to him for immediately crediting the writers – Scott Wittman and Mark Shaiman from Hairspray) and keeping things moving pretty briskly. Made some great quips and dished out some kudos where and when appropriate without being fawning. Great running gag (with Jon Cryer, among others) after not winning for Supporting Actor, which several critics apparently took seriously. The retort to Academy President John Schaffner in the audience after the latter gave him an Emmy pin (“Yeah, that helps.”) was hilarious. Only the extended “best seat in the house” gag got tired. But really, how can you possibly dislike the guy? He must have a Q rating off the charts. (And if you thought that bit where he breathlessly rattled off the list of networks was great, watch this !)

And speaking of the Harlem Globetrotters – the only time that tired gag was really funny – it was good to see the Washington Generals of the Apple ads get his night. While Justin Long had to sit complacently next to Drew Barrymore, his partner in those hilarious commercials, John Hodgman,  got to zing one-liners from the booth. Between serious voice-overs (“This is her first win and her second nomination“) he peppered the audio with absurdly funny comments (“The Daily Show With Jon Stewart is celebrating its 76th year on the air. It began on Comedy Central Radio as Stewart-Brand Chicken-Fat All-Star Baked Beans Half Hour. This is their 900th Emmy, and frankly, that’s too much“). Likewise, Harris often introduced nominees by “obscure” credits from their resumes.

The tables have turned.

Splitting the show into segments. Very good idea, albeit risky. Of course, they always have to start out strong to keep the audience from flipping, so Comedy was the appropriate leadoff hitter. Exhausting that category so soon risked weakening the overall show but they pulled it off. Better yet, getting to fast-forward through the Reality segment kept the projectiles off my screen and the vomit off my floor. After last year’s program, where TV almost killed its own Golden Goose by kissing the ass of the most unreal programming on television, can you blame me for avoiding that train wreck of a category? (And please explain how American Idol was included within the “Reality” part of the program, but then the director won in the “Variety” category?)

Three cheers also for the set. The theatre is amazing, and the versatile set was configured to expose the composition of the evening like peeling the skin off the skeleton. The band out of the pit, the production booth in view upstage, the host actually able to host from a designated location. Aside from one obvious technical glitch – which Ricky Gervais turned into gold, of course – the show ran very smoothly.

The mood of the show was also interesting. Fairly egoless – our host was a big part of that. Almost everyone got through their lines and cues without issue, and for the most part the presenters and recipients avoided the usual politicking (Washington and Hollywood) that the Oscars seem to bring in droves. There weren’t enough performance clips for my taste – sometimes none at all – and the gimmick about asking some of the non-performer nominees mostly fell flat because some took it seriously while others didn’t (the clip of the night was from Conan O’Brien’s show, where he predicts “YouTube, Twitter and Facebook will merge to form one super time-wasting Web site called YouTwitFace.”)

And thanks to the network for not picking up that ridiculous gimmick that Fox dropped on us recently where the lower third of the screen is filled with scrolling tweets. Die in Hell for that one, television. Isn’t it enough that you pander to wannabe celebretards by cramming as many of these unreal crapfests onto the air in place of creative and scripted programs? Now you have to let couch potatoes try to tweet their way onto the screen so they can – I dunno – tweet their friends that their tweet was broadcast? (That’s like a snake eating its tail, right?) Then you’ll complain that no one could follow the plot of your show.

Best surprise – an appearance by Dr. Horrible, which was perhaps not as funny for people who have not seen the hilarious webisodes starring Harris, Nathan Fillion and Felicia Day.  Of course, the irony that the program was created on the Internet during the writer’s strike and aired without any network or commercial involvement was probably also too subtle as well. But why fret about those who can’t appreciate it, knowing the zeitgeist of 2009 somehow justifies Leighton Meester and Brooke Lively walking on the same stage as Glenn Close and Bob Newhart? (And folks,  Nathan Fillion rules.)

I always get a little verklempt during the In Memoriam segment anyway, but really – bringing Sarah McLachlan out to drive a nail through my heart? Was that necessary? If you’ve been to a memorial service in the past decade you know that song is as requisite as Donna Summer’s “Last Dance” at a wedding reception…and I experienced both within twenty-four hours this weekend. (She did nail the performance, though).  Maybe a good career move for her, since the last few times I’ve seen her on television she’s been asking me to save abused pets. But between those ads and that song, she’s unquestionably the reigning Debbie Downer.

Eat, already!

Kristin Chenoweth squeaked and squirted so much during her crying jag that the high-pitched whine probably killed one of Mickey Rourke’s dogs. I was surprised by her win, but she is talented (Wicked on Broadway? Girl, please!) and now can hopefully afford to buy a sandwich. She was the first person that said “this is really heavy” when holding the Emmy Award that I believed. Really – the girl makes Olive Oyl look fat. Great bit pimping for jobs on Mad Men and 24 now that her show is cancelled.

Ricky Gervais. Pure freakin’ gold. I don’t know if he could keep up that pace for the entire program, but I’d sure like to watch him try. As solid as Neil Patrick Harris was – and he was very good – Gervais has the fastest mind I’ve seen since Robin Williams in his prime. Combine that with a self-deprecating attitude and a bold disregard for convention (I’m willing to go there, and don’t care what you think about it) and you get both humor and unpredictability. He is, as the Brits say, brilliant.

"Fixing the glitch"

Comedy WTF Award: Toni Collette. Really? Really?? I’ll bet more people lost betting on Tina Fey than the ones betting on these guys or them or (sniff!) them. I remember hearing about The United States of Tara being scheduled but that’s the last time I heard it mentioned. Tina Fey might be getting so many accolades that there’s a backlash, but she was funnier than ever this year. But she nailed the guest appearance as Sarah Palin and won that Emmy as expected, plus having 30 Rock win was probably more satisfying, since it works because it’s an ensemble piece. (Well, more satisfying to me, anyway.)

Loved Brian’s Emmy vote. “Suit up!”

Perhaps it was because they front loaded the comedy, but after all those overt verbose kudos to Lorne Michaels,I figured he either was quietly diagnosed with inoperable cancer or owns a scrapbook with incriminating photos of everyone he’s ever worked with. (Probably it’s just that he’s a nice guy).

There were some repeat winners I can’t argue with – Jon Stewart, Alec Baldwin – they deserve the accolades. Happy to see Michael J. Fox snag a Guest Actor win for Rescue Me; it reminded me of some shows and people who got overlooked entirely.

Really Mad Men

Drama kudos: Bryan Cranston. I figured that Jon Hamm would walk off with it as Mad Men gets a lot of Emmy love, but Cranston is unbelievable in his role and well deserving. Can’t knock the win by Michael Emerson, either – here’s a guy who was so good that a guest spot on Lost was transformed into the central character on the show. But I wish the voters showed the love to Aaron Paul, Cranston’s co-lead on Breaking Bad, who had a (ahem) breakout year.

And speaking of breakouts…WTF was up with that “breakout moment of the year” polling? Those were the three most transcendent moments on television this year? Really? Did they limit the voting to people under the age of twelve? Not only was the gimmick itself distracting and juvenile, but the impact was…well, what’s the opposite of buzzworthy?

Some good presenter moments, too. Jimmy Fallon’s dance injury bit was great. Justin Timberlake after Sarah Silverman’s moustache shot (“That’s what hormones will do“). Ken Howard (The White Shadow!!) hoping his speech “doesn’t get interrupted by a Congressman or a rapper”, then cracking an opportune SAG joke. Amy Poehler and Julia Louis-Dreyfus smilingly confirming the end of broadcast television as a vital medium. Jessica Lange -a cougar even at 60-  saying parts (ahem)  ”don’t come around that often for me anymore“. The always randy Dana Delaney  topping that with “I like a man who delivers week after week!” Bryan Cranston saying he’s thankful that Glenn Close is actually a woman. Tina Fey taking a well-deserved shot at NBC by thanking them for keeping 30 Rock on the air “even though its much more expensive than a talk show“.

Who would have thought that after their Super Bowl duet, Justin Timberlake would be so much more popular than Janet Jackson’s breast? I’m still not a fan of his music, but the guy is funny as hell and despite incredible fame seems to be pretty humble about it. If only more famous people took themselves less seriously.

Oh, wait. Then we wouldn’t have Award Shows. Never mind.

Posted by SuckaFish

The Supreme Court has been asked to hear arguments in a case that says the Washington Redskins team name is so offensive its trademark should be revoked.

My understanding is that basically the Redskins will have to change their name by next Sunday’s game. Back in college I minored in U.S. History so I’m kind of an expert on this stuff. Best case scenario, the team will need a new name by next season so let’s get ahead of the curve and come up with the one now.

First, it’s important to note that some of the best names are already taken. I really liked Patriots but a guy at work said there’s already a football team called that. And the Washington basketball team is the Sea Dogs so that’s out.

Maybe Generals does work.

I thought maybe another patriotic name would work. Americans would give them a national following but the logical move would be to switch to a red, white, and blue color scheme. The team has such a long history as the maroon and black that the colors shouldn’t be changed so Americans is out. Generals is the crappy basketball team that always loses to the Globetrotters and the team wouldn’t want to be thought of as an organization that could have a losing record over a 10-year period so scratch that. Federals, Senators, and Nationals have already been used in DC to great success. I’m sick of trying to think of patriotic names so on to the next category.

An obvious idea is and animal that starts with W. I Googled it and there are some good ones like Wallaby, Warthog, and Weasel. But none of those had any real connection to the DC area, except the last one that could be in honor of the owner. Oh, and they listed Water Dragons which made me think of another one the owner might like. Dragons, as in Dungeons and Dragons, which I’m pretty sure he played a lot as a kid. But it wouldn’t speak to the masses so let’s pass.

The Wizards have a winning formula. Alliteration and no real tie to the area or reasoning behind the choice. We have a winner and as a bonus it vaguely conjures up images of Native Americans. From now on the local professional football team will be known as:

The Washington Warriors

The best part, they can come out of the tunnel each week to this:

And the gang’s get up is almost maroon and black.

Contrary to what has been said, I don’t think he should head to Europe. People who are used to scoring 20+ points a game find their stats falling. Europe plays a team game, and Iverson has proved this offseason that he is not a team player. So that leaves NBA teams or the Harlem Globetrotters as landing spots.

Minnesota:
POSITIVES: They just traded their 2 best scorers for a guy who does not intend on playing with them this season. Think they need help scoring? Al Jefferson isn’t a real number one option, his strength is rebounding. As far as I am concerned anything more than 12-15 points from him is a bonus.
NEGATIVES: Do they want him around all their young players? Will he teach Al Jefferson how to have a rock star attitude?

Philadelphia:
POSITIVES: Yes, I said it. Andre Miller is leaving, that loses a guard and 20 points right their. If AI could put up 15 on a one year deal, I would sign off on the deal.
NEGATIVES: Will this signing hinder Thaddeus Young’s development. He seems ready to step up and become a solid number 2.
If any team knows a thing or two about AI, its them. They basically said that he was a distraction, remember?

Indiana:
POSITIVES: Barely ever can you get a franchise player on the cheap and they need a franchise player. TJ Ford is rumored to be leaving, so they will need a point guard.
NEGATIVES: The only thing stopping this transaction is Indiana must asked themselves if Brandon Rush is ready to step up. Indiana is also making a point of getting rid of headaches so does AI fit their new mold?

Miami:
POSITIVES: Signing Iverson would make a bold statement to Dwayne Wade who basically said they must do something to keep him.
NEGATIVES: Can Iverson and Jermaine O’Neal be happy as a number 2 and 3?
It didn’t work with Melo, what makes you think it will work with a much better player in Wade?

Milwaukee:
POSITIVES: Somebody has to replace Villanueva and Jefferson’s points.
NEGATIVES: Can Milwaukee connect the dots?
Pending trades:
Rockets: If they trade TMac he could slide into the offense. AI is more of a point guard compared to McGrady.

Warriors: If they trade Monta Ellis and or Maggette like they want to, they need to pick up the points.

Clippers: If Baron Davis and/or Ricky Davis go then they must make up the points.

What u lot sayin …REAL or FAKE?

And this just in from the world of trick shots. Yahoo! Sports Blog ‘Ball Don’t Lie’ has the scoop on middle school student Aaron Shutway knocking down a Ri-freaking-diculous shot. Head on over for the rest of the story, and check out the video below.

I can’t even put this into words, and I really hope this kid isn’t pulling a Sosa, but the video sure looks kosher. If it is legit, I hope the kid keeps practicing…Then maybe he can join Taylor Griffin with the Globetrotters someday.

Last week at the Event & Arena Marketing Conference a panel of family shows and Ticketmaster discussed several areas from ticket sales patterns to marketing the shows. During the marketing portion, my ears perked up from what I heard about brand awareness.

Unless you are creating a new brand name show or concept, most potential customers know who you are.  The Harlem Globetrotters are a perfect example.  Their brand name goes back 84 years.  So when they marketed the show as “All New Show” no one got it.  When Michael Kenny, Senior VP of Live Event Marketing at the Globetrotters said this, I realized this might be the most important statement of that day. 

Using the term “all new show” for any of the shows represented on that panel really didn’t make sense.  The panel represented the brands Ringling Bros., Disney on Ice, Stars on Ice, Ticketmaster, and Harlem Globetrotters. If you have an established brand then the customer or fan knows who you are.  The question is, what is going to make them come see you?  Saying ”all new show” means what?  If you are the Globetrotters, the customer knows you are the most fun and famous basketball team in the world.  If you are Ringling Bros. you are the biggest and most famous circus in the world.  If they skip a year, will they really miss something that is “all new”?

Michael Kenny explained that this was their challenge.  So instead of telling the customers they had a new show (which they did), they decided to market to the parents.  They told mom to remember when they went as kids.  Continue the family tradition and take their kids. This could be termed “brand awareness reminder”.

If you are an established music act and you tour, why does the fan buy a ticket to see you?  You usually tour to promote a new album.  But do you think the fan really cares about that?  No, they want to see you and hear the hits.  If the new album has a big hit while you are touring (i.e. Coldplay Viva La Vida Tour) then great!  Saying come see me because I have a new album is not the right marketing tactic. 

Market your message to what your customers want to hear, not what you want to hear.

I’m writing a book about Anthony Atkinson, the hero of the 2007 NCAA Division II National Basketball Championship who is now a premiere star for the Harlem Globetrotters. That game is arguably the greatest comeback in college basketball championship history. I’m no college basketball historian, but from what research I’ve done, no championship game ever comes close to touching the drama or the goosebumps that filled the MassMutual Center in Springfield, Massachusetts that March 24. The clip is below.

But, whenever anyone asks me what I’m doing these days now that I’ve graduated and I say, “Writing a book,” this is what I’m talking about. There’s something so evocative about his story. Maybe it’s that he’s a 5-foot-9 superhero who nobody in Division I really wanted to take a chance on. Maybe it’s that he’s made the whole world his family, as his dad says. Or maybe it’s because of his faith in God, a faith so authentic there’s no questioning how real God is to him. He was seen the morning of this championship game reading the Bible and writing in his devotional journal, a routine he’d followed for years upon years. Ant loved Jesus Christ like Christ wants to be loved, and he believes in God’s favor in ways I am still trying to learn.

This book will be the story of his life, plus the story of Wilson, North Carolina, the forgotten city to which Ant brought life, and the story of Barton College’s 2006-07 season, which in and of itself could be a phenomenal book. There is truth to the rumor that people are trying to make it a movie; I hope it happens, but if it does, I hope it’s done right. The story, Ant, everyone involved, deserves to see it encapsulated in proper fashion. It should make us cry, that’s how good the story is.

Enough, I’m wearing it out. The clip of the comeback is below. Peace.