A friend asked me today, “how do i get started?  Is it expensive?  Any insider advice?”  I called him back and left a voice-mail and told him to call me back and we could talk…but I was so excited that I left my thoughts on the voice-mail anyway (i tend to leave a long voice mail every now and then, i suppose, just in case i never talk to you again, for some reason or another, i would like my message to get to you).  Then i thought, this should be my next blog…it should have been the first, but, it wasn’t so, here it is…

I told him (Jason, thanks for the inspiration and questions) that i recommend he look into the Yoga studios in his neighborhood, really check out what’s all around (i never minded traveling for different Yoga experiences; different classes or different environments).  Look at their schedules on line and see what sort of explanation of their classes they provide.  That’s what i did.  i soon found that there were a ton of different names out there and i quickly realized that i had no idea what was going on, so no real idea how to choose.  it was one thing to see Power Yoga, or Flow Yoga, i could come up with some image on those.  But what the heck is Anusara Yoga, or Ashtanga Yoga, or Hatha Yoga, or Himalayan Yoga, or Vinyasa Yoga, or, or, or??

Well, for starters, from what i understand, any sort of postures yoga; any physical yoga, exercise-type yoga is Hatha Yoga.  So, all these other names, they are all types of Hatha Yoga, again, that is when it comes to doing postures (asanas).  So, Anusara is a type of Hatha Yoga, same goes for Ashtanga and Himalayan and Vinyasa and so on and on.  It gets confusing because once you think you know that, you come across a studio or center’s class schedule and they list Vinyasa Flow and Hatha Yoga and you thing, but wait?!  what?  i thought Vinyasa Flow was Hatha, what’s more Hatha about the Hatha class?  augh.   Nothing, at its core.  But it does seem that when people call a class Hatha and not something else, its regular, basic, maybe a slower paced Yoga.  Its a yoga with no bells and whistles.  It doesn’t have a special “gimmick” or slogan, save for all the “slogans” that come along with all the ancient philosophies that are a part of all other Hatha yoga anyway.

it all makes more sense the more you do it and go to more classes and see that there are such a great many similarities.  Some types have a certain series they follow, like Ashtanga.  Some link every move with an inhale and an exhale, Vinyasa…but these are all fun research projects.  i find that is it so great to get recommendations, but there is nothing like experiencing it all for yourself.  So, as i was saying before, look up your local studios and check their schedules, if you would like further description of the types of classes they have, search them on the internet, it’s all out there.  Then, or instead of that, call the studio or just go down there and be open and honest and ask them what they’d recommend for you.  They will give you the best advice, because they know what they’ve set up there.  I’ve been to studios where they offer Hatha 1, 2 and 3 level classes, and there’s really no difference.  I’ve also been to studios where the difference is drastic, but i will say that of all the studios i’ve been to, no teacher has ever turned me away because i don’t have enough experience.

One of the great things about Yoga, is there are always modifications.  So, even if you are in an advanced class because it was the only time that worked for you that day, if you tell the teacher, they will help you; they will offer modifications.  Or, if you just get into a class that is proving hard for you, there’s always modifications, you can always go into a relaxation or easier pose to get your breath back.  If you’re competing in Yoga, pushing yourself to an unsafe place, be that a place of physical pain or a place where your ego is getting the best of you and you are doing a pose in a way that is not good for you, you could hurt yourself; that is your ego pushing you to compete.  This Yoga practice is such a great place to let go of your ego and do what’s best for you.  My point is, no matter what class you go to, if you have a hard time, accepting that you need a break or a modification is highly respected and looked well on.

And by the way, everybody has hard days.  You never know who you’re standing next to, so comparing is pointless.  you might be standing next to a dancer who can do the splits all the ways, and you end up feeling jealous.  what you might not know is though she’s in the splits, her mind is racing and she can’t get present.  So, actually, doing the splits in Yoga is turning out to be hard for her.  Calming the fluctuations of the mind is what we’re trying to do in Yoga too.  So, remember, you are you, and you don’t share the same history as the person next to you.  That’s why they say in Yoga, “start where you are”.  There is no better place to start than now.

Is it expensive?  It can be, sure…but the beauty about just starting is you have so much exploring to do and Yoga studios know that, so many of them give the first class for free.  Many studios also offer, at a discounted rate, an unlimited week or month, for the first timer. that is how i started.  It’s such a great idea that they do this, it gives you such a great chance to really experiece their style, or in some cases, many styles in one place.  Some studios focus on one style, others will offer many styles.  Again, this all turns out to make a lot of sense, once you start getting into it.

I also went to the library and got books on Yoga.  It was so tempting to buy every book on Yoga I saw, but there are a million, from books on postures to books on different traditions and philosophies…i really recommend the library, you will save yourself a lot of money and if something just isn’t clickking with you, you won’t feel so bad;  you’ll just return it.  Also, check out the Yoga DVD’s at the library.  Try doing it at home, then moving to a studio if you’re not comfortable going straight to the studio.  It’s a nice idea to get a video before your first class anyway, so you can check out some of the poses and see what they’re called.  Some teachers use the Sanskrit names, some translate them all to english, some mix.  I mix, because i think it’s fun to speak of them in the language they came from, but i like to say the english translation too.

I had trouble getting to my first class, because of social anxiety issues; i was always nervous about walking into any new place the wrong way and looking the fool.  The first Yoga class i actually went to was with my sister.  She had started going to the studio down the street from where she lived.  When she told me, i jumped at the chance to go with her; to go with a person who could walk be through the place; through the steps and help me to feel comfortable.  That was all i needed, and from there, i’ve never had a problem walking into any studio or center, and for that matter, anywhere.  I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again, Yoga helps Yoga and that helps your whole life.  It gives you the tools, physical and mental to keep it all up.  And for that, i am so very thankful.

now get out there,  if you need a buddy to go with, maybe it can be me.  I’m in!  and if you’d like a private class from me, e-mail me at kory.youyoga@gmail.com (i’m in the NW suburbs of Chicago, we’ll see what we can work out). the first one’s free, as they say.

namaste, kory

I grew up in Miami, where the most exciting adventure about which anyone could boast as a child was having seen snow. Johnny would go away to visit family “up north” in the winter and actually saw snow.  Everyone would want to know what it looked like, felt like, tasted like… “did you throw a snowball, build a snowman?” they would ask. They would ask about sledding, but never skiing. Anyone can throw a snowball or jump on a sled, but skiing wasn’t for the untrained.  Staying safe while skiing requires  safety training, skill, and precautionary measures.   Besides, who would want to ski, anyway? Climb to the top of a snow-covered mountain, strap pieces of wood to my feet and then slide down the mountain – in the ice and snow – while standing and avoiding hitting rocks, trees, and other people going faster than a car on the Washington Beltway?  No thanks. Besides, I am always reading of people who ski and are injured, sometimes very seriously, or killed while doing this. Why would anyone ever want to ski?  Well, even though it is not for me, people ski anyway.  As Peter Christ of L.E.A.P. tells the story, even though it can be dangerous, people are willing to risk the danger. But rather than ban this risky behavior, rather than making skiing illegal, we have developed a system of training, safety, regulation and rescue that makes skiing safer for those who choose to ski. Rather than prohibit skiing, turning skiers into criminals who must avoid the police while dealing with a skiing black market run by criminals, skiing is legal, regulated and the harm of skiing has been greatly reduced.  Just like the potential for harm in skiing and many other dangerous activities has been reduced, the harm related to drug use can be reduced .

Harm reduction is a set of practical strategies that reduce negative consequences of drug use, incorporating a spectrum of strategies from safer use, to managed use, to abstinence.  Harm reduction strategies meet drug users “where they’re at,” addressing conditions of use along with the use itself.   Because harm reduction demands that interventions and policies designed to serve drug users reflect specific individual and community needs, there is no universal definition of or formula for implementing harm reduction. However, the Harm Reduction Coalition (www.harmreduction.org)  considers the following principles central to harm reduction practice.

• Accepts that, for better and for worse, licit and illicit drug use is part of our world and chooses to work to minimize its harmful effects rather than simply ignore or condemn them.
• Understands drug use as a complex, multi-faceted phenomenon that encompasses a continuum of behaviors from severe abuse to total abstinence, and acknowledges that some ways of using drugs are clearly safer than others.
• Establishes quality of individual and community life and well-being–not necessarily cessation of all drug use–as the criteria for successful interventions and policies.
• Calls for the non-judgmental, non-coercive provision of services and resources to people who use drugs and the communities in which they live in order to assist them in reducing attendant harm.
• Ensures that drug users and those with a history of drug use routinely have a real voice in the creation of programs and policies designed to serve them.
• Affirms drugs users themselves as the primary agents of reducing the harms of their drug use, and seeks to empower users to share information and support each other in strategies which meet their actual conditions of use.
• Recognizes that the realities of poverty, class, racism, social isolation, past trauma, sex-based discrimination and other social inequalities affect both people’s vulnerability to and capacity for effectively dealing with drug-related harm.
• Does not attempt to minimize or ignore the real and tragic harm and danger associated with licit and illicit drug use.

Take some time to really explore that Harm Reduction Coalition website, the various denominational positions on needle exchange on our site (http://idpi.us/compassion/resources/denominations-policy-positions/needle-exchange). Next week, we’ll take a closer look at MAPS.

Happy Thanksgiving!

I have sleep about 3hr. for 2 day 2 night.

It’s gonna be zombie,right now =(

I should go sleep…

“yoga is just stretching”.  No, Yoga is yoga, just stretching is just stretching. 

Now,  I will explain in a way that makes sense to me: Yoga is a way of going about things.  Yoga is systematic, yoga has other parts other than the physical postures (asanas).  I’ve spoken about the Eight Limbs of yoga before; they are what makes Yoga not “just stretching”.  Some people who know that I practice Yoga ask me “do you practice Yoga everyday?”  My initial response is “no”, because what they’re usually asking is if I practice postures; if i do the yogic exercises.  That is what I am answering “no” to.  In the beginning, i would have meant “no”, entirely.  Now, after studying and learning more about Yoga, i find that I am answering “no” about postures, but the real answer is “yes, i do practice yoga everyday”.  Now that i know that, i find myself answering in that way, and if i feel that it is welcomed, I’ll explain.  The beauty of Yoga is its philosophy, its path; to get you to your truest self, to help you to happiness, to help you to detach; not let yourself become so attached to anything, to control the fluctuations of the mind, to come to peace. 

How do you practice Yoga, how do we practice Yoga?  Why is it just not stretching?  Because of the philosophy.  Because of the Eight Limbs; Yamas (restraints), Niyamas (observances), Asana (postures), Pranayama (breath practices), Pratyahara (sense withdrawal), Dharana (concentration), Dhyana (meditation) and Samadhi (enlightenment).  Because of these Eight Limbs, because of the other things going on, that is what makes it different.  In Yoga, we practice non-competitiveness. We learn to look into ourselves, and watch our own progress and make sure to not push ourselves beyond our limits, beyond our edge.  We appreciate what others are doing around us (whether that is postures or at work), and if we get jealous, we work on not being jealous.  we work on being happy for those that we feel are excelling, we don’t use that as a way to feel bad about ourselves and push ourselves past where we are.  If you push yourself past where you are, you could hurt yourself and that is not practicing the first Yama (restraint) which is Ahimsa (non-harming), and it is not practicing a few of the Niyamas (observances) such as, Santosha (contentment), or Tapas (discipline).  This is what makes Yoga, Yoga.  It may seem like a lot to be thinking about while you are practicing postures or just living life, but when you chose to live a yogic lifestyle, and you begin to understand these Eight Limbs, you start to realize that they all just lead to the next, and they are so complimentary to each other that they just become common sense and second nature.

If you are not practicing the postures (asanas) every day, but you are observing the restraints (yamas) and observances (niyamas) then you are practicing Yoga.  If you are practicing the postures (asanas) but you steal, or are a bully or you lie then you are not practicing Yoga, you may be doing Yogic postures, but Yoga is more than it’s postures.  if you think that you are better than anybody else; superior in some way, not seeing the divine in everybody, then you are not practicing yoga, even if you practice postures everyday…that is my understanding.

But we should talk about the postures.  as far as the Asanas (postures), the physical, it is also strength-building, and massage.  There are postures we do that absolutely build strength, strength of body and of mind.  It is the strength of the mind that is my favorite part.  When you stand in Vrkshasana (Tree Pose), you are strengthening your legs, you are strengthening your core, you are strengthening your arms, and you are strengthening your mind.  How are you strengthening your mind?  By focusing.  Balance postures are such a wonderful and immediate way to see if you are focusing, it’s a wonderful time to practice Pratyahara (sense withdrawal).  When you work on balance postures and your mind is wondering, you will find pretty quickly that you will fall out of the posture.  When you focus, when you are concentrating on what you are doing, the posture, you will stay in it longer.  This sort of practice affects your focus for the rest of the day.  The more you practice something, the better you get at it.  So, you find yourself having trouble focusing on a project at work or during a conversation, just remember  how you focused in Tree Pose and do that, bring it into your life, not just on the mat, or wherever you practice your postures.

So, do i practice Yoga everyday?  Yes.  do i practice postures (asanas) everyday, no.  I know that since i began my journey on the Yogic path, i am more truthful, more content, more observant, more calm, more understanding, more a lot of things.  And, again, yoga helps with yoga.  I used to get mad at myself for not practicing the postures everyday, then i realized that went against the principles of yoga, and that Yoga is so much more than the physical.

I hope this explains some of the difference

namaste, kory

The Great Wall of China

After reading Lindsay’s “China’s Three Gorges Dam,” I could not refrain myself from writing about one of the most important monuments in China’s history, The Great Wall of China. Because the Great Wall is not nearly as new as the Three Gorges Dam, it poses subtler questions about its effects on nature. It in fact is so old that it seems like a part of nature itself, much like how we consider the Stonehenge to be a part of nature. But in actuality, it is the product of the human hand, literally.

I cannot help to wonder how such a huge structure, over five thousand miles long, would have affected nature and its animals. How many habitats were destroyed with the construction of this unthinkably massive wall? Such questions inundate my mind, for I would never have thought that this revered structure, built to prevent destruction of humanity from war, ironically, could have caused major damage to nature. I am very surprised that I had never thought of this topic before, but then again, the Great Wall successfully shrouded itself with its blanket of grass and trees in order to blend into nature.

I wonder why there is always controversy about recent technological structures that could harm nature such as the Three Gorges Dam but not about things of the past such as the Great Wall. Is destroying nature with human technology a concept strictly limited to the present and the future? Why do we not talk about things of the distant past and their effects? Is it because humans were not harmful before, but are becoming increasingly so as we progress through time? And if this is true, how are we evolving so quickly? What are our outlooks for the future? I don’t know about you, but my mind is sufficiently blown.

Ahimsa means “non-harming” in sanskrit; the language of yoga. Ahimsa is the first Yama. Yama means “restraint”, and the Yamas are the first limb of the Eight limbs of Yoga.

I bring this up now because I am tearing my hands apart, literally. So, here’s the relationship, if it isn’t obvious already, it has to do with Ahimsa, non-harming.

First, here’s some context…I am on the Yogic path and with that comes paying attention to and trying to live according to the eight limbs of Yoga. I will digress and briefly list the Eight limbs; Yamas (restraints), Niyamas (observances), Asanas (postures), Pranayama (breathwork), Pratyahara (sense withdrawl), Dharana (concentration), Dhyana (meditation) and Samadhi (union, enlightenment).

The other Yamas are; Satya (truthfulness), Asteya (non-stealing) and Brahmacharya (sexual moderation).

The Niyamas (observances) are; Saucha (purity), Santosha (contentment), Tapas (Discipline), Svadyaya (self-study), Ishvara pranidhana (devotion).

But, I am writing today to talk about Ahimsa, which is nice because it is the first one, the first yama, so that works out…ok, here goes. There’s obvious non-harming, like, don’t kick somebody else in the shins, don’t smack somebody when you’re angry. Those are physical. Then there’s the verbal harm we can do, like taking out our anger and frustration on others, and at a deeper and more harmful lever; verbal abuse and such…Then there’s the more subtle levels, the less obvious, like talking about somebody behind their back.

It seems, in all my yoga studies, those are the levels that are spoken of and attended to first. But, what about how we treat ourselves? What about how we beat ourselves up, mentally and physically? That is what I’m writing about today. I have dealt with depression my whole life. I’ve been beating myself up forever. I’ve gotten a lot better about it over the years; I’ve been paying more attention, trying and working hard to stop. Since I was very young, too young to remember, really, I’ve been picking at (augh, it sounds so gross, but I’m gonna say it anyway) my fingers, picking at myself. I used to get bitten by mosquitoes like it was their job to only bite me, mostly my legs…and i would scratch my legs to the point of bleeding, then i wore knee socks until i was in about 3rd grade to cover the scars. I’ve been picking my cuticles for as long as i can remember. When I was about 24, I stopped, somehow I stopped. Then I started again, probably prompted by a cut that scabbed then I picked it and it all started again…horrible, gross, i know.

In 2006, I quit drinking and I was still picking away, mostly my thumbs (sounds funny, but that’s what i did, it’s ridiculous) down to the knuckles. gross. A couple weeks after I quit and had kept it up (I’m a little over three years sober now) I caught myself picking my thumbs and thought “you quit drinking, you quit drinking for God’s sake. If you quit drinking you could quit picking yourself apart.” So, I decided that every time I caught myself picking I would snap a rubber band on my wrist 50 times, not for the pain, but for the distraction. I did it. I committed and I did it. Some time later, who knows when, I started again and I started to realize that my picking was a big indicator of my stress and anxiety. It’s a weird thing, because there were times when I was picking that I didn’t really feel nervous or anxious, but I must have been, something was happening. For a while, I had just gotten to a point that I was only picking my thumbs. I had at least gotten to the point where I left the rest of my hands alone.

Well, I’m back at it, with a vengeance. It’s horrible. I am tearing myself apart. I’m tearing every finger on my hands apart. I think of Ahimsa (non-violence), and how much trouble I’m having. Why am I doing this to myself? What does it mean, and what will it mean when I get past it or through it? It’s the hardest step, to me, so far. The first step, is the most difficult for me.

When I quit smoking, the last time ( I had quit twice before) it was the easiest time. I had been loving smoking, just loving it, but knowing, at the same time, that I was disappointed that I was smoking again. So, during that last week of smoking, heavily, I kept talking to myself about why I was doing it, asking myself, really. I had started studying Yoga about 6 months before the day I quit the last time and Yoga made that quit easy, so easy. So, as I said, while I was smoking and loving it, I was also talking to myself; going over it, asking why? What was I getting out of it, why was I doing it? What need or desire was I fulfilling with cigarettes? I started to really think about Yoga and what it meant to me and the potential I thought it had in my life. I thought about what I was learning about Yoga and that smoking contradicted what I wanted in my life; the path I wanted to travel. I promised myself that I would quit at the end of the job (which was only a few more days, I free-lance). I continued to smoke and have those conversations with myself for those last few days and when the day came, the first day off that job, I did quit. And it was the easiest quit. Yoga got me there. Yoga helped me see what I was doing and why.

I believe I need to do the same with this horrible habit of tearing myself apart. I will get through this. I know that the awareness is the biggest help and really, the first step. I am truly causing myself harm, but knowing this is how I will get better. That awareness is one of the greatest gifts that I have received from being on this Yogic path. Acknowledging that this harm I’m doing is something I really am doing to myself is a step.

I know that Yoga helps me through all of this and helps me find peace and joy. So, I pay attention to all these restraints and observances, but I am having a hard time with this first one, a little bit. But I know how much Yoga has helped me before, in specific situations and daily, on the whole…it’s interesting to watch myself go through all of this, and live along this path. It’s a good lesson for all of us, that we can be on the path but not perfect at it. Sometimes, just the awareness of the path is comforting, and knowing what you can do to stay on it and travel it better is a wonderful thing.

namaste, Kory

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Know that there is nothing that can
separate you from your true nature
from the truth of who you are
not even the illusions that overtake your mind
that infest your consciousness with
confusion
the connection you have with your highest and best self
the connection you have with source
is immutable
and will always guide you through
even though you are free to choose as you decide
yes
there will be no harm that can ever come to you
realize that all fears and feelings to the contrary
are illusion
you fear what you do not understand
what you do not know
you create suffering by looking at things from the fear and conditioned thinking you have learned
such a limited perspective and understanding of what is
realize there is a greater overstanding
that you can acquire through alignment
and you will then see there is no harm that can be experienced to that which is real
the harm you experience is always to the temporal
to the illusions
but what has given things life
what has given these things space and being in your consciousness

that which gives all things life
cannot be harmed and that is what is most important for you to recognize
your fears of famine
poverty conflict war
etc. are illusions
though these things are experiences
though these things are in your consciousness
they are not lasting real or true
they are suffering of ignorance
and can easily be cured with love
yes
but even where the illusions persist
source is there
yes
even where the unwanted suffering persists
source is there
realize that you can give up the
wondering give up the concern
give up the stress of and resistance to these illusions
for they are not real
death is not real
the conditioned suffering you have accepted poverty and starvation to be is not real
YES THERE IS KINDNESS AND LOVE IN GIVING TO THOSE IN NEED
YES THERE IS NEED FOR THESE ACTIONS
BUT NOT TO GLORIFY POVERTY OR STARVATION
NOT TO GIVE THEM POWER
SIMPLY TO EXPRESS LOVE
REALIZE THAT WHERE POVERTY AND STARVATION ARE NOT MET
THERE IS NO GREAT TRAVESTY
WHY
BECAUSE THESE EXPERIENCES ARE WHAT THEY ARE AND PART OF THE WHOLE
PART OF THE BALANCE
PART OF REALITY
FOR THOSE WHO ARE COMPELLED WITH LOVE TO DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT
THAT IS A BEAUTIFUL THING SOURCE CHOOSES TO EXPERIENCE THROUGH THEM
YES
FOR YOU
WHAT IS NECESSARY IS FOR YOU TO TAP INTO WHAT YOUR HEART DESIRES WHAT SOURCE HAS IMPLANTED DEEP WITHIN YOU TO EXPERIENCE IN YOU AS YOU THROUGH YOU
AND YOU WILL SEE YOUR ROLE YOUR PATH OF LOVE UNFOLD
BUT BE NOT DISTRACTED OR CONCERNED WITH ALL THE ILLS AND PROBLEMS OF THE WORLD FOR THAT IS NOT WHAT YOU ARE HERE TO DO
YOU ARE HERE TO BE LOVE TO LOVE
A PATH OF LOVE UNIQUE TO YOU
AND YOU WILL FIND YOUR PASSION YOUR CALLING BY GOING DEEP WITHIN TO ASCERTAIN EXACTLY WHAT SOURCE HAS PUT IN YOUR SOUL
YES
THAT IS YOUR ROLE
AND THAT IS WHY YOU ARE HERE
YOUR PURPOSE
ASK SEEK KNOCK AND IT SHALL BE OPENED GIVEN AND UNFOLDED
YES
THAT IS THE TRUE ESSENCE OF LIFE
THE TRUTH BEHIND THE ILLUSIONS
KNOW THAT THE BEST AND THE HIGHEST IS
ALREADY
AND BE NOT AFRAID OF ANY CIRCUMSTANCE ANY EXTERNAL OBSERVATIONS
FOR ILLUSION IS FEAR
TRUTH IS LOVE
SEE ALL THAT IS WITH LOVE
ALL THAT IS WITH TRUST
ALL THAT IS WITH CONFIDENCE
THAT SOURCE IS BEHIND WITHIN AND THROUGH EVERYTHING YOU OBSERVE
THERE IS NO CHAOS THAT IS CONTRARY TO THE ORDER SOURCE HAS INSTILLED WITHIN EXISTENCE
LET YOUR MIND REST FROM THESE CHAOTIC DESTRUCTIVE ILLUSIONS AND REST IN THE PEACE THAT COMES WITH TRUSTING SOURCE
REST IN THE PEACE THAT COMES WITH KNOWING YOU ARE AN EXTENSION OF THE ALMIGHTY
THE ALL POWERFUL ALL KNOWING SOURCE
REST IN THIS PEACE AND ALLOW SOURCE TO GUIDE YOUR STEPS YOUR ACTIONS YOUR THOUGHTS
MOMENT TO MOMENT
KNOW THIS AND RESIST NOT
FOR YOU HAVE PRACTICED THE CONTRARY LONG ENOUGH
LET GO AND LET SOURCE
AS YOU SAY AND HAVE HEARD SAID
ALL IS WELL AND ALWAYS WILL BE
AND SO IT IS

- Morning stream of consciousness writing from John Stringer

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Be Still . . .
Devotionals for Daily Living^©

To me, to live is Christ and to die is gain.
(Philippians 1:21 (NIV))

Carefully reread these words. Do they have a sound that is contrary to what we, as a society, tend to think about this world, life and “religion?”

Most people think of Jesus as a safety net for when we die, not as a way in which we can live in freedom.

The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.
(John 10:10(NIV))

We are told that Jesus gives us life to the full, yet, we ignore Him until we face dying. Isn’t it just like human nature to have our priorities turned around. We look to the promise of life when we are dying and look to sin and death when we are alive. For those who understand the truth behind these words, life is better with Jesus. There is hope. There is peace and there is grace.

Without Jesus, death is to be feared. We end up eternally separated from God and eternally cast away with Satan. With Jesus, death is not to be feared, for we will see the reward for our faith. We will walk with Jesus in the Kingdom of Heaven where we will be eternally at peace and in God’s presence. When we look at it like this, death for a believer is gain. It is not to be feared. It is a reward for our faith and our priorities in this life. We have all heard that to be absent from the body is to be present with the Lord. If we are present with the Lord at our death, then we have “gained” eternal life through grace and mercy. This is truly gain.

What will you gain when you die?

Copyright 1998 – 2009 Dennis J. Smock
Daily Living Ministries, Inc.
http://www.dailylivingministries.org
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If you are a survivor of severe abuse, I would like to encourage you to pause and consider whether or not you are in a good place to read this post right now.  It contains a detailed description of my experience of one man’s deeply wicked reactions during an interaction we found ourselves in.   

“Often the one who delights in evil is an ordinary, unassuming person who hides behind a facade of normalcy.  Few people who are evil ever appear evil, even after the evidence of their deceit, destructiveness, and hardness is exposed.” – Bold Love

One day, a number of years ago, I got dropped off to spend the afternoon with a student who was part of a youth group I was helping out.  The student was at their grandparent’s house.  It turned out to be a sunny Saturday afternoon and we had plenty of time to talk, play some games and eat together.  At the end of the afternoon, we wrapped it up and both prepared to head home.  Our means of transportation?  The vehicle owned by the son of the grandmother we spent the afternoon with, father of the student I was hanging out with.

The man (son and father) had a jovial but somewhat quirky presentation.  He was the kind of person who treated everything in life comically, but when his position or perception was challenged, more often than not he found a subtly arrogant way to shame you for your opposing opinion, or immediately dismiss you if he didn’t think shame was going to work.  But it was usually the kind of shame or dismissal that you didn’t feel until about 10 minutes later.  He had a real knack for being able to emotionally slap you, but make you feel in the moment like his attack was either in jest, or that you deserved it.  In other words, he was masterfully manipulative and highly abusive, but all done very subtly with a smile on the side. 

In my time interacting with this man, up until that day, there were a few “cordial altercations” as I cautiously but confidently and caringly questioned his beliefs, attitude, approach and motivations with his ministry, family and world.  I was almost always met with an indirect attempt to deflect my questions and concerns, if not a direct attempt to spin me around and create confusion surrounding my very words and thoughts.  In a blink of an eye he could make you feel crazy or ashamed of something that you were confident was his issue to begin with.  He was consistently crafty about his responses; never too direct so as to appear harsh, but if he couldn’t make a joke out of things, he could be just mean enough to make you feel like an ass for attempting to address anything to begin with.  But then one day, the day at grandma’s house, he finally got mad enough at my incessant challenging and disobedience to show his hidden colors.  Colors that were very bright, but incredibly well masked.  Why am I sharing this?  Because I think it’s important information in order to help you begin to brace yourself for what came next that afternoon. 

So, we were preparing to leave.  The student had put everything in the vehicle and we were saying goodbye as we walked out of the house.  The father’s last words to us as we were leaving the house were, “Now, give grandma a big hug goodbye.”  From what I could ascertain during our time together grandma seemed like a very nervous lady, easily disrupted, socially unstable, highly insecure, disoriented, even fearful.  She didn’t seem like the kind of woman who was even sure what to do with hugs, especially from strangers.  I was a little concerned by dad’s demand that we give her a hug considering my experience of her throughout the day.  As I watched the student hug her, the looks on her face suggested this was at best highly awkward, and at worst somehow traumatic.  I hardly knew grandma with only one afternoon together, and decided pretty quickly that a hug was out of the question for me.  Not only because she didn’t seem enthusiastic about the process at all, but also because this man told me that’s what I was to do.  Instead, I simply suggested that it didn’t seem like grandma was up for hugs that afternoon.  That’s when I saw a look and heard a one sentence response from the father that will forever be seared in my memory.

The father was beginning to walk towards the vehicle when I announced my concern.  He stopped in his tracks about eight feet from me, paused for a second, turned back towards me and gave me a look that I have only seen from a handful of people in my life.  I assure you I have seen more angry looks than I can begin to count, but I have only seen what I would consider to be deeply and truly evil looks a few times.  This is not the look you see when someone’s face is beat red and they are on the verge of screaming in order to relieve their own unmanageable tension.  I’m talking about a calm searingly cold toxic look that leaves you with a shiver.  It’s the kind of look that is enough to cause the hair on the back of my neck to stand up on end.  If you are someone who has done the hard work of being able to name the abuse you have experienced at the hands and mind of a manipulatively and methodically wicked person, you know the look I’m talking about.  If you don’t know that look, I encourage you to find someone who does and have a conversation with them.  They may be able to help you to better understand the depths of evil that exists in this world, and help you to face and love the very people you feel you know so little about.

As if the look wasn’t enough, his quiet rage drove him to speak.  He couldn’t contain it any more.  This well-composed, jovial, ”ministry” oriented “family” man, with the look of death in his eyes, calmly but very sternly announced to me these exact words in the presence of his mother, “They always say no, but they always mean yes.”  After flashing a very brief and devious smile, he turned away and headed toward the vehicle.  Grandma turned back in towards the house and closed the door behind her.

It took me but a very brief moment, time enough to exhale, to confirm the narcissism I had been experiencing in this man for a few years; and to ascertain that he had inflicted, and was still inflicting, severe amounts of harm on people, particularly women, in his life.  I was, and had been, in the presence of a wicked man.  A man so crafty that he was able to creatively camouflage his abusive attitude and approach towards women with his position as a falsely humble deceivingly spiritual ministry leader within his church.  He was hailed among many as a living example of the most sacrificial and godly man they had known.  His approach towards women?  Take what he wants…period.  And I am confident that with many of them he did just that. 

I think the story speaks loudly enough on its own that it doesn’t need much commentary right now.

If we’re willing to listen that is. 

Excuse me if I’m being harsh. Disney invests in saving forests? Give me a break. To me this seems quite ironic. The Walt Disney Co. has spent hundreds of millions of dollars and cleared thousands of acres of land just for its universal theme parks. To invest a mere 4 million dollars (in the light of Disney’s massive income) in restoring nature is a joke action. It is more symbolic than effective. I mean Disney makes billions of dollars every year, only to invest less than 0.1% of its income in a major problem that is only exacerbated by its own being. Please feel free to disagree, but I believe that the carbon dioxide problem would be ameliorated if Disney found ways to limit its own harm to forests. And to potentially make things worse, Disney has recently been accused of dumping wastes at Burbank Studios. Because this trial is still new, these claims have yet to be substantiated. But despite this recent accusation, the simple operation of the theme parks and whatnot has released enough harmful products into nature. Is Disney just trying to cover up with this investment? Is Disney just trying to capture some unaware people into thinking that it is here to help nature, not to hurt it?

My disbelief of the intentions of Disney’s forestation efforts was present before I read the article comments. When I finally scrolled down, I realized some people agreed with my opinions. One post said, “Another great example of corporate ‘Greenwashing’.” Some others disagreed with my views. I’m not saying that Disney’s actions won’t benefit nature. Any amount of money donated to conservation efforts will prove useful. I simply find it hypocritical that Disney is assuming a responsible public image when it actually is hurting nature in many clandestine ways.

“Pedophiles can exploit virus-infected PCs to remotely store and view their stash without fear they’ll get caught. Pranksters or someone trying to frame you can tap viruses to make it appear that you surf illegal Web sites.

Whatever the motivation, you get child porn on your computer — and might not realize it until police knock at your door.

An Associated Press investigation found cases in which innocent people have been branded as pedophiles after their co-workers or loved ones stumbled upon child porn placed on a PC through a virus. It can cost victims hundreds of thousands of dollars to prove their innocence.”   The Low Down on Intrusion

“Pedophiles can tap viruses in several ways. The simplest is to force someone else’s computer to surf child porn sites, collecting images along the way. Or a computer can be made into a warehouse for pictures and videos that can be viewed remotely when the PC is online.

“They’re kind of like locusts that descend on a cornfield: They eat up everything in sight and they move on to the next cornfield…”

funny how when we are little
monsters sneak out the closet
roaming streets and schools
sometimes our own homes
screaming for lights to be on
eventually we grow silent
hiding tired eyes, weary souls
under layers, layers of clothing
layers of beliefs, layers of makeup
layer upon layer until we are grown
then we shove monsters back
into closets and underneath beds
pretending they are gone

We’re all very sad today about the tragedy at Fort Hood. In fact my wife’s old boyfriend is an Army shrink at Fort Hood, with a wife and a bunch of kids, we don’t know if he’s alive or dead.

But there’s something most of us are missing:

1. When we eat meat, we get a ME vs. EVERONE AND EVERYTHING ELSE attitude. It blinds us to our humanity, compassion and intuition.

2. Eating meat leads to gas-guzzling, joining the Army, putting pesticides on your lawn, etc. All dangerous, all cause harm to others.

3. If you really want peace, stop eating animals, at least those who can feel pain. Hard to know if clams feel pain, but cows, pigs, chickens, lamb, dolphins, whales all do.

4. If you want more info, or you are appalled or confused by this posting, I urge you to do one of these two things:

-Attend Will Tuttle’s lecture/concert at 1pm on Friday Nov. 13, at Temple B’nai Torah, Sudbury (on Rt. 20, near Landham Rd.)

-Buy and read Will Tuttle’s book, The World Peace Diet, http://www.skyboard.net/will_person_creditcard.html