Rt Rev Bishop Nick Baines

So the Bishop of Croydon wrote a little blue book called Why Wish You a Merry Christmas? (What matters and what doesn’t in this festive season).

It’s gotten him embroiled in deep yuletide controversy over his criticisms of Christmas Carols. Newspapers all over Britain and around the world, including the U-S wrote about how the Rt Rev Nick Baines supposedly condemned Christmas Carols.

Some reports suggested he said they should be banned. One Telegraph report was headlined: “The Spirit of Christmas is Lost on Bishop Nick.” The Croydon Guardian said the Bishop had been labeled a “killjoy after attacking nativity plays.” I’ve started reading the book and I’m sad to say that many of these media reports sensationalised the words of Bishop Baines. Many of his statements were in fact taken out of context, which for me is a big shock and disappointment.

In one of the chapters he states that Christmas is not “Christmas without the ritual singing of certain carols.” That’s fine so far. He goes on to say that “most Carols are ok.” Nothing unusual there. Later on is where it seems he offended some people the most.

The Bishop begins deconstructing some carols to make sense of them. He tackles “Away in a Manger” and points to a particular line that goes, “The little Lord Jesus no crying He makes.” He says that it’s quite normal for babies to cry so there’s something strange about that line. Fair comment. If like me you grew up in an extended family, replete with little children, then you too would think it inane to muse on a tearless child. Later on he says “If we sing nonsense is it any surprise that children grow into adults and throw out the tearless baby Jesus with other fantasy figures?” Sure, maybe hanging in mid air by itself the sentence might offend some die hard carollers. But if one reads on, one is likely to find it far less offensive. The problem is many people didn’t get to read on because some media entities left out key bits of story.

Forever Baby Jesus?

I trekked to South London to speak with Bishop Baines myself. What he said to me is nothing different from what’s printed in his book. He explained that the book was meant to be a fun, light read on what matters during the holidays. He said the point was to get people thinking more deeply about what they sing and the reason behind the holiday.

Then he told me a story of how he was invited to a school to tell the Christmas story to children, who all thought that the main characters in the nativity were “Santa Clause, the Elves and Cinderella.” How tragic is that. I’m certain any other religious leader would be concerned if little children were confusing their figurehead with fantasy figures.

Bishop Baines says adults are to blame for children’s’ confusion. After all, sometimes people grow up and maintain ideas of Jesus Christ as merely some perfect baby. The inherent problem with that is of course that Jesus did grow up – and made the ultimate sacrifice for mankind, for those of us who believe.

I later spoke with the Chaplain at the University of Westminster – Father David Cherry who shared similar concerns. Fr Cherry said, “I think his theological point is that Jesus is as human and fully human as we are. It’s an important truth.”

Fr Cherry also says it’s not entirely bad that some children see the nativity as a fairytale. “In the same way that fairytales make an important moral truth accessible to young people I think Christmas carols can do the same but of course there are things we learn as children – the pictures and the nativity plays and as we grow u we need to grow deeper and explore the meaning. If it stays just a fairytale, just sentimental and cute then it doesn’t have much to offer.” This is practically the same thought Bishop Baines conveys in his book when he writes, “Adults face a complicated world as adults, but their understanding of Christian faith doesn’t grow up with them into adulthood.”

Shame

Having said that, it’s a shame that in a season of Christmas cheer (supposedly) some of the offended people deemed it fit to send the Bishop abusive hate mail. The contents of some of these are just abhorrent to me and I find it ironic that people who swear by the importance of carols should do such. Misplaced values I would think. And shame on those newspapers for their partial, sensational journalism.

Sure I too delight in singing carols that add to the joyful Christmas ambience. But it makes me shudder to think that writing a thought-provoking, funny read would cause such distress for a Bishop at the heart of the ‘festive’season. Pity…

Time to vote for your favourite hate mail at Daily Kos!

My choice, “Dear Socialist Fuckstick”, looks like a runaway winner, but there’s lots more extremely amusing hate mail to choose from.   Go, be astonished, amused and amazed.

So I happened to turn to I Love Lucy in time for the end of that episode where she thinks everyone forgot her birthday, but in reality they were planning a surprise party. And Ricky sings to her a song he wrote for her.

I wish I was the kind of girl men wrote (nice) songs to/about. Sadly, all I’ve ever inspired is hate mail about how fat and ugly I am.

And people wonder why I’m so depressed, bitter, and don’t believe in true love?

A great video demonstrating the love of Christ shinning from his born again souls.  Just in time for Christmas, makes you want to join a church, doesn’t it?  Fits will with intelligent design, doesn’t it?

One can only laugh.

Richard Dawkins is an author of the bestseller “The Greatest Show on Earth,” and a strong advocate of the “theory” of evolution. You can visit his website by clicking here.

Hi there. Received some HATE MAIL yesterday, ho ho. I’ve not allowed it under the original posting because it’s completely “off-topic”, so I thought I’d give “Anne” here her own platform on my site, just to prove I don’t hide behind my ability to moderate (although, goddam it Anne, you write like a bloke in my opinion!!). Maybe you’re the ladyboy here, hey chicken?

From: Anne Amercian anyuser@hotmail.com  IP address: 71.112.207.150

To: Andy Remic

Message 1:

Submitted on 2009/12/14 at 4:30am

British people are ugly, and you are a shitty writer.

Message 2:

Submitted on 2009/12/14 at 4:54am

I’m sorry. Not all Brits are ugly. I got carried away with that statement when I thought about how terrible War Machine was. I hadn’t read 50 pages of the book before I figured out that the soldier lady [deleted due to plot spoiler], so I skipped to the end to confirm my suspicions, and sure enough, you are horrible at foreshadowing (along with every other literary device). HOW DO YOU GET PULBISHED? IS THE EDITOR OF YOUR PUBLISHING HOUSE RETARDED? DOES THE EDITOR KNOW HOW TO READ? I HAVE READ FORTUNE COOKIES WITH MORE WIT, CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT, AND PLOT THAN YOUR NOVEL war machine. While I am not a writer of fiction, and I respect the amount of work that must go into writing an entire novel, I want my F****** EIGHT DOLLARS BACK THAT I SPENT ON YOUR PIECE OF S*** BOOK. If you hadn’t stolen my money by selling me a horrible excuse for a book, I might not feel the need to leave invective comments on your website. To recap, I retract my statement about the attractiveness of modern day British people (sorry everyone), and I want my money back. Make sure you moderate all the comments (only you and your fellow shitty authors have comments up on any of your posts) so the scores of people you rip off with your reprehensibly awful books can’t turn your website into a living testimonial about what a f****** douche you are, you thieving, dick-less, lady-boy fagot. Get a real job and stop swindling people you f****** limey pussy.

From: Andy Remic

To: Anne Amercian

Dear Idiot,

Thank you so much for your letter. It brightened up my Monday morning no end. Seriously. I haven’t laughed so hard since I trapped my Jonny T in a Hoover. However, I do have a few points to make about your thrilling missive, so please concentrate:

1) Why do vitriolic diatribes arrive anonymously? And by idiots who cannot spell the name of their own country? In the words of Green Day, “Don’t want to be an Amercian Idiot”. You failed, mate.

2) How did I get pulbished? Well, I wrote for a while, and some people thought what I wrote was pretty good, and I got an agent. I’ve worked with three pulbishing houses and five editors so far. They have all been superb to work with, and not in the least bit “retarded” (as you, in your anonymous bravery, claim). Now then: are you asking me for advice on how you too can get pulbished in the fiction world? I would refer you to some self help books, my friend. They may help.

3) I do not see the correlation between my terrible book and all British people being ugly. That’s like saying your letter stinks, and therefore all American people are fat. Illogical. Pointless. Facile. What you should have said was that my book is terrible, and therefore anybody who likes it is stupid. Haha. There you go! I’m creating your insults for you. What a nice man I am.

4) How, in the name of arse, can I be a “dick-less ladyboy fagot”. This is impossible. A ladyboy has a dick, this is what makes them a ladyboy. To be a dick-less ladyboy is to be a, well, a lady. And a fagot is a bunch of kindling sometimes used for torches (as in Diablo, and other dungeon games, and comedy fantasy movies). So I’m a bunch of wood? How can I be a bunch of wood if I’m dick-less? Confused!?! I’m confused. Oh, I understand… you mean faggot with the implication that I’m homosexual! Is that supposed to be an insult in these modern times? Or are you still living in the nineties? Maybe you’re still in the playground because the last time I heard that supposed insult was from a bunch of male yoofs.

5) Finally – well, obviously you’re a dissatisfied customer. You want your eight dollars back? Absolutely no problem, buddy! My one caveat is that you claim it from me in person . See what a generous dick-less ladyboy fagot I can be? Ho ho. Come see me at a con or a signing, because not all of us can hide behind the internet.

Hate Mail of the Day

Recently we got some hate mail from someone calling themselves Baruch Goldstein. Obviously a reference to the Extremist Jewish settler who killed 30 Muslim worshippers at the Ibrahimi Mosque in Hebron. It seems the ghost of Baruch Goldstein haunts us still and he came back from the dead to let us know what he thinks about Islam and our website.

Baruch Goldstein

Nice try at obfuscating the supremacist, genocidal ideology of islam from the actions carried out in its name.

I know Armenians that would rip your f**king head off Abdul.

He ends his polite email with the hallmark of the spirit of Goldstein, a call to violence. Goldstein (none of us are Abdul’s by the way), I know Armenians who would happily have a cup of tea with us here at LoonWatch and would rather not rip our heads off.

Dear End-of-the-Semester,

I’m tired. I have a headache. YOU SUCK.

I still have a fifteen page paper to write. I was feeling all on top of things, because my final portfolios for both my poetry workshops were due last week and I got them done with little to no stress. Then this week I had fifteenhundredeleven tutoring workshops, and my professors decided (rightly) to celebrate the end of the semester with us by making our last classes potlucks. Potlucks!

I love potlucks.

These look scary to me.

Then before you know it, I’m making cookies on Sunday, blueberry muffins Monday night, and I’m running home in between tutoring and classes on Tuesday to make cupcakes (because they can sit in my car all day Wednesday while I’m on campus without turning green– like meat, for example). Then, before you know it, I’ve burned the cupcakes, and I’m running home Wednesday to make another batch of cupcakes and all of a sudden I’m a crazy PTA Mom (hi guys!) and I can hear a little voice inside of me that sounds a lot like nine-year-old me trying to reassure my mother, “But no one will care if you just buy something!”

And something else inside of me says, “But I can have it all! / I hate the grocery store.”

And then before you know it, I’m not putting my poems to bed because I’m busy making cupcakes for all the other poems in the class and they’re crying and I’m crying and the second batch of cupcakes is burning and all I want to do is watch Tombstone but I still have a fifteen page paper to write and I hate everything I’ve written this semester and I’m wondering why I didn’t just bring the open, half-eaten, stale bag of chips that’s in my cupboard.

And then I’m sitting at my laptop saying, “I just want everybody to be happy! I’m doing my best! Why doesn’t anybody appreciate me?!?” And yes, my laptop is my husband in this analogy. Metaphor. Conceit. What is this, again?

Oh, I’ve got the end-of-the-semester blues….the blues….the sad-sack blues…

Why don’t you come with foot rubs and soothing chamomile tea and maybe a parade celebrating everything I’ve done all semester? Hmmm? Think we could work that out? I’ll bake you something delicious to eat…

Not fondly,

MM

PS– And then I’m running around like a cracked out bakery chef saying, “Please take a cupcake. Please. Take. A. Damn. Cupcake.” Because I already have cookies and muffins at home and what am I going to do with all the cupcakes? I love cupcakes. I do. I’m not opposed to eating a lot of them. But I live alone. I get headaches from too much sugar. I have a headache. Someone take a cupcake. (That is not a euphemism.)

I am surprised at the way people think and then spout off to people in the media especially those who send in email or letters to Glenn Beck.  I am also amazed that you had your failed attempt of showing your intelligence to Mr. Beck in your abusive attempt to put him in his place.  I don’t have a problem with Mr. Beck.  I try to catch his show at some point in my day.  It comes on here at 4PM and then repeats at 1AM.

My biggest problem is that because I am so wiped out from the day’s activities that I tend to miss part of the program because I have fallen asleep.  This is no indication that his program is boring, it’s just that I an old enough to need a nap and that’s my only time to get one.   It could be that I know that all is well with the world because Mr. Beck’s program is on the air.  Either way, I try to play catch up from his web site.

So in doing so, I watched and listened those people who seemingly do not have a brain in their body that try to tell Mr. Beck off.  I guess I am envious because you got your email read by the man himself.  So here is the bottom line to all of this.  I think that those that are sending hate mail should be investigated for “hate crimes.”  You know the little law that got passed by hiding itself in another bill altogether.  If that can’t be done, I think they ought to have their computer checked out.  It seems they have caught a new virus that has many plagued.  It’s called the – ID:10T – error.

I guess being on a network that is fair and balanced you have to let those with the new computer virus sound off, so just know from me.  If you want to debate the issues do so, if not shut up!!!

And that’s the way I see it today!

~ ITEM: “no contact info. Since people who usually spew scum, lies and hate are too chicken sh*t to face up to it.”

~ ITEM: The New About Page

~ INTERESTINGLY, some cranky Binks-hating person writing from the Toronto Star server (see below) wrote to insult my terrible self about being a gutless wanker (who usually spew scum, lies and hate) for not leaving contact info on the Canucki Jihad site.

Forgot to ever write that one– my bad. I’ve since rectified that, but it’s interesting that this critic does not them-self provide ID or contact for themselves, except an obviously fake none@none.com. What’s chicken poop for the rooster is thus for the hen? Harpoon, is that you? Zerb?

The good news is, somebody from the TorStar actually visited my site– where I generally try to state facts and links to accurate information and contrary opinions than the Islamically-correct.. which apparently is an unforgivable sin to some TorStar blowhard and/ or their relative/ friend. Well done for me, then.

Get over yourself, provide a real e-mail addy, and let’s talk, shall we? Or perhaps you’d rather just anonymously spew scum, lies and hate.

Cluck, cluck. ~

Binks, WebElf
binks-dot-webelf-at-gmail-dot-com

Whois  : http://ws.arin.net/cgi-bin/whois.pl?queryinput=192.206.151.130

OrgName:    Toronto Star
OrgID:      TSNL
Address:    One Yonge Street
Address:    Group IT
City:       Toronto
StateProv:  ON
PostalCode: M5E-1E6
Country:    CA
NetRange:   192.206.146.0 – 192.206.151.255
CIDR:       192.206.146.0/23, 192.206.148.0/22
NetName:    TORSTAR

THIS BLOG HAS MOVED -> http://www.ExploringInfinity.com

I must be doing something right.

It seems like every time I produce something, whether it be a video, a blog post, or a website, I attract hordes of people wishing to attacking me and call names. This confirms to me that I am doing something right. We all know that telling the truth is no way to make friends.

“The men the people admire most extravagantly are the Greatest Liars;

the men they detest most violently are those who try to tell them the truth.”

- H.L Mencken

It’s important to remember that no matter what the topic, or your opinion on it, people will always disagree with you. Some will even disagree with you violently. Remember that these people who go out of their way to be rude and personally attack you are the people who need you the most. They need someone to hate. If I have to be that person, then so be it. I’d rather they spend their time insulting me instead of someone who might take it personally. Me, I’m used to it, it doesn’t bother me and I just shrug it off.

People need someone to hate, and it makes them feel good to insult people who they do not agree with. I understand that some of those who sent me hate mail may have taken offense to the title of my last post, perhaps they had taken a flu shot and were mad that I said they were dumb. I apologize sincerely if I hurt your feelings. I realize that since it was my first post you may not have caught the sarcasm in the title. It was a catchy title and it made you look didn’t it?  If you need to make personal attacks on someone feel free to send them to me. I’ll simply ‘trash’ them and send you some love in return, it’s obvious that you need some.

For me, getting over 2160 views in less than 24 hours on my first blog is quite an accomplishment. Having only received a handful of hate-mail is actually somewhat surprising. For that many views I would expect at least double the hate-mail. Anyway, the more haters I attract the more it confirms to me that I am doing something right.

Reading a book while commuting is like being accompanied by a real person on your way to work. It makes the whole ride to the office less dreadful.

Once I was accompanied by Thad Beaumont and let me tell you, he gave me my most violent morning to date. I also recall being accompanied by Dolores Claiborne, she talked a whole lot but it was fun because when she talked about Vera Donovan, I felt pity, fury and terror all at the same time. When Clay, Alice and Tom joined me in my early morning commute to work, I was inspired to raise zombies in my workstation for Halloween.

Whenever a character is about to say goodbye, I feel sad and panicky. I start thinking of another book to read. I am no literary connoisseur so I tend to stick to the authors I’ve developed a furious admiration for. That will be King and Gaiman. I read other titles too but these two guys are the ones who occupy the most space in my desk.

I recently finished the whole of Sandman and it was awesome. Morpheus is the best companion of all because he brings a whole army of other creatures and characters for me to play with.

Which now brings me to my next target: Wicked. I was dead set on getting Wicked after work. I heard Elphaba and Glinda are awesome commute-mates. I went to Megamall and headed straight to Powerbooks. I wanted to maximize the card thinger I got from there. After making me wait for 20 minutes:

Powerbooks Girl: Sorry, out of stock
Me: Oh… really?
Powerbooks Girl: May dadating naman po. Gusto niyo magpareserve?
Me: Kelan dadating?
Powerbooks Girl: Hindi po namin alam eh.

Uhm… whut? I turned my back on her and went to National Bookstore. I was surprised with the number of graphic novels they have in stock. Then my eyes traveled and found a whole shelf full of Gregory Maguire books.

Mirror Mirror… Lost… Confessions of an Ugly Stepsister… Son of a Witch… A Lion Among Men…

…That’s it? They had everything except Wicked. Great. I felt so sickened right at the pit of my stomach that I wanted to either throw up or cry. I thought of buying LXG or Swamp Thing or V for Vendetta instead since I have been planning to buy those anyway… but it just wasn’t the same. I had an appointment with Elphaba, it just felt wrong to be with someone else. So I went to the nearest bookstore: Bestsellers in Podium.

Eureka! They have it! So now I’m a happy sorbetera. I was so happy, I took Kingdom Come off the shelf as well. I’ve been meaning to read it since… oh I don’t know, three years ago? Two years? And since Bestsellers didn’t have V for Vendetta (why is everything fucking out of stock!) and Kingdom Come was just 700php, I took it!

Yay! New companions!

Well, well, well. Here I am.

Things have been crazy [as usual] thanks to my lovely jobs here [I made that website. Prepare to have your mind BLOWN] and here and school and some other projects I’m bullshitting about over drinks developing with my lovely friend Nathalie.

Also, last week I had the oinkporkswinepigflu! The body aches were horrifying and there … there was a mask involved.

Someone please explain to me how I am not married by now. Just look at the beauty and majesty in my eyes.

This was the most sick I’ve ever been in my young 23 years and I had to take almost an entire week off of work though school got taken care of. Apparently, I have straight A’s right now. So I got that goin’ for me.

Maybe I keep this mask on, now? Maybe it’s a winner?

In between school and working for fabulous Portlanders and pretending to be a writer, I’ve been reading a lot of books. This reminds me of my youth, when I read things for pleasure.

Hah. What a joyous experience it has been. But I don’t see it continuing once my thesis begins. Anyone have suggestions for new books? Please send them my way. If you send me a suggestion and I like it – I will send you a photo of me reading it. Maybe nude. I don’t know. NO promises.

Blogs also. I’ve been reading a lot of blogs. Food blogs, humor blogs, sad blogs, creative blogs. All of them. A lot of time and effort and, often, fear goes into being consistently funny on the internet.

I often think of stopping this. Of just focusing on my other projects and leaving Unclean Conscience behind.

I started this blog to keep myself writing and it’s given me more than that. I was contemplating all of this today, and then I got some not-so-great news.

One of my first loves, the first man who i think really loved me back, took his own life yesterday. I’ve spent this evening in a haze. Trying to figure out how normal people grieve. For some reason – I started thinking about what he would have told me to do.

Write.

I’ve decided to shift some things around and focus on some of my more immediate passions – which I’m very excited about.

I also plan to start spending at least one hour a day watching makeup tutorials on YouTube because they make me feel prettier. Also, I went to here and bought makeup for ONE DOLLAR. No lie. Please, go there. Buy things. Now.

For instance, it is 4am and instead of sleeping (thanks, insomnia), I’ve been watching this amazing woman (who I fully intend on stalking) and trimming my eyebrows. BECAUSE THESE ARE MY PRIORITIES, PEOPLE.

Also, Kiala is going to let me paint her face and dress her. She asked for it, actually. So it’s RESEARCH.

So after Bobby left I hopped on facebook and discovered that I had some hate mail sent to me. Apparently Rozy’s friend thinks I’m a “dirty filthy degenerate whore” and she wants to fuck me up. I’m so tired of everyone getting involved in this. Nothing even happened. All this hype is because Rozy, being the stupid girl she is, made some assumptions and copped it up as truth and told everyone how it was. I was completely livid at this piece of poor writing. I didn’t even bother to write her back. I’m better then her and she needs to read a book because she is the dumbest bitch I have ever had the pleasure of receiving hate mail from. I went to work and told one person about it and somehow the whole restaurant found out and everyone was asking me about it. Fuck I can’t tell anyone anything. I was closing and I ended up being there til after my last bus left. One of our regulars drove me home and it was awkward. What a stupid day….mind you it started off good.

Richard Dawkins reads some hate mail from religious detractors:

And ZJ also gives her critics a fair hearing:

Your Thoughts?

Wow, am primit un email de la un iesean pe nume Bogdan care se ocupa cu spamat forumuri si directoare de anunturi pentru a castiga bani intr-un joc online.

Si e manelist. Va dati seama ca ne cunoastem de mici si am crescut impreuna.

Mail-ul lui e mai jos, si urmeaza raspunsul meu:

alt titlu nu ai putut sa iti alegi? esti tampit sau te prefaci…doar!!!!!ce-ar fi sa ma leg si eu de tine!!!

Esti prost de tot? cat creier ai in craniu ala al tau?

Daca tu esti ateu sau ce sustii in blogul tau/blogurile tale , atunci vezi-ti de treaba, si nu publica lucruri care sa-i afecteze si pe altii! Cum ar fi sa-mi fac si eu cateva bloguri si site-uri cu tine , in care sa-ti aduc reclama proasta, ba mai mult daca nu iei o atitudine concreta, aspura problemei pe care ti-am adus-o la cunostinta , atunci voi avea eu grija de tine! si cu siguranta si altii, cu atat mai mult daca fac cunoscut acest lucru public, asa cum trebuie, ca la carte!

Vezi-ti de traba, si fii o persoana serioasa, si nu mai ironiza, sau “lua pe cinava pe sus” crezandu-te deasupra tuturor!

Observati ca mi-a adus o problema concreta la cunostinta? O puteti identifica?

Raspunsul:

Salut,
Habar n-am cine esti si despre ce vorbesti dar apreciez efortul de a scrie un email.
Pacat ca nu pot aprecia altceva.
La care titlu te referi? La titulatura blogului?
Daca asta e problema intreaba-l pe marius cruceru (baptist fundamentalist – propria declaratie n.a) de ce a scris o postare cu acelasi titlu. Cauta la el pe blog www.mariuscruceru.ro

In rest amenintarile tale sterile si in special amenintarile de violenta sunt hilare.
In rest fa ce bloguri si site-uri vrei, eu spre deosebire de tine, nu o sa ma crizez ca un nebun
Daca nu-ti convine ceva pe internet inchide fereastra si nu te mai uita.

Adio si sanatate mintala maxima,
Mihaela

Va mai dau, daca mai scrie ceva.

Cum singura informatie despre el e adresa de email, am google-it adresa si asta e rezultatul:

http://www.google.ro/search?q=tbogdanv_2008&hl=ro&rlz=1C1GGLS_roRO330RO330&filter=0

BTW, public service announcement, daca dati un email la adresa mea care e disponibila public pe internet, asteptati-va sa ajunga aici daca vorbiti asa.

You are such a looser. You don’t know anything. I hope you die.

Submitted by: A Fake Sample

Keep sending it and I will make a special section just for it and let the whole world see. If your not worried about this site then why send hate mail threatening me.

CityBeat Editor David Rolland received this on Tuesday. Our address was typed on the envelope. Apparently, “Fuck-Head-Ass piss shit” does not like Pearl Jam, me or an inordinate amount of cussing unless he’s doing it. Thought about printing it in our letters page, but just doesn’t work without the fantastic signature.

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