Even at the best joke ever.

“Knock knock”

“Who’s there?”

“Sam and his prostitute friend.”

But, thank god for Ellen DeGeneres. Seriously, she must have gotten the amazingly funny gene to make up for her future in hell for being one of teh gheys. Watch this clip, and suddenly, you will totally heart gay marriage too.

A big thank you to Margaret Kathryn Nelson of Orange County California for getting me into the habit of reading people.com everyday, which is where I found this clip. Hello there Madge.

Eu não consigo pensar em nada para escrever sobre esse aparelho REVOLUCIONÁRIO.

Só imaginem todas as pessoas do seu trabalho usando isso ao seu redor.

Aquele Abraço!

Blahhahhaha, nasty friggin infomercials. I swear, I nearly piddled me pants laughing. Who buys this shit? No seriously people, Fnord, Ann, Cazzie, Nurse Myra and you, that loon lurker who never comments, WTF. And while we are on the subject of WTF, pray tell WTF is #2, the humiliating Hawaii Chair ….as if? And why is there a woman scooting around in a wheelchair top left of screen? Oooh and that dude can’t be serious with his friggin teddy bear shoulder belt (definite grounds for divorce right there!). If any loon admits to owning one of these friggin items it’s a guaranteed defriending from FaceBook.

Psst Note, the Snuggie blanket has been mysteriously omitted….bastards!

I’ve recently been eating my breakfast and have found myself watching some great infommercials on the morning hours of TV.  So, I have inserted some of these classics for your viewing pleasure!  Enjoy:

Tell me which of these you would prefer when making an educated decision on the purchase of a hearing amplifier?

Now…Tell me which of these appeal to you?  And which one would work for you at your workplace?

Or…

Oh the joys of Youtube!

I recently read an article that described how people who fidget more tend to be a lot thinner. I found this very intriguing.  I tend to be pretty restless, especially when sitting. So I was especially interested in reading this post on Weight Loss With The Fabulous Fatties’ blog. (we are doing a blog post swap!) It’s pretty funny too, but truly useful for weight loss!

It’s Saturday and I (Angie) am working, or supposed to be, but apparently I am blogging. Has anyone with a desk job tried to sit on an exercise  ball while at work?  A couple years back I was seeing a nutritionist who recommended I try this.  I didn’t at the time, but have done it a few times more recently, and am in fact sitting on a sleek silver exercise ball as we speak.  I recommend everyone this this as it does use some muscle’s for balancing (legs, stomach and booty).  Oh… I just had a great thought!  I am renaming this exercise ball to my blogging ball and I will force myself to sit on it when ever I am blogging or twittering.

However, this advice does come with a WARNING!

• Do not reach for items out of your reach, the ball will roll and you will fall flat on your face.
• Do not try to scoot the ball, it does not have wheels like your cushy office chair and you will fall.
• People will look at you like you are crazy!  Now I am used to this type of reaction from people.  One lady I work with calls me her “eccentric friend” but some of you may be more sensitive than I to others reactions.
• Co-workers will probably steal your ball when you leave your desk to go potty and you will have to hunt it down, which unfortunately decreases productivity.  Bit of Advice: always check the supply closet first!
• When standing up do not scoot your ball back you will fall on your head and have a minor concussion.  Most employers will expect you to still work with a minor concussion.
• Do not lean forward to get a closer look at your computer screen while on the exercise ball as you will face plant into your desk and get a bloody nose and possibly some mouth bleeding.
• If you suck in your gut and sit tall while on the exercise ball you will get tired at a quicker rate.

I’m just sayin’ sit on the ball with caution!

Have a FABULOUSweekend and eat a brownie for me, preferably one with chocolate chips, white chocolate chips and pecans.  I had a skinny friend once tell me nothing tastes as good as thin feels.  I think she believed that so I never shared my brownies with her!

Thanks for the great tip, Angie!!

And for those of you for whom a ball does not provide enough fidgety movement, you can always try Ellen’s Hawaii chair!!

Exercise with the Hawaii Chair and you won’t need to lift a finger. Hawaii Chair didn’t really need to market their product. The internet crowd just picks up the story and make fun of it for eons to come. Don’t you just love products that promise to exercise your body without any hard work?  The Hawaii Chair brings this concept to new heights. It simulates a hula dance. Just sit back, relax go about your daily office routine as demonstrated on the Ellen DeGeneres Show.

Check out this Hawaii Chair video and marvel at the sheer awesomeness that is the Hawaii Chair. HawaiiChair.com has an unintentionally hysterical infomercial, demonstrating folks at the office, gyrating in their chairs.  Seriously, how convenient is this?  Now you can send faxes, type lengthy emails and take calls from your boss all while sitting your way to a slim and trim mid riff. Guaranteed to get you lei’d.

Apparently Ellen DeGeneres just loves infomercial products so she decided to buy one for her show. She bought three more of the chairs for her lucky guests to try.  I have no clue how anyone could comfortably do office work on it.

In my opinion, the following videos represent Ellen’s best (and funniest) moments.  Enjoy!

Gladys Harvey, an elderly viewer in Austin, Texas, calls Ellen’s Suggestion Line to offer her opinions on how Ellen can improve her show.  Ellen calls Gladys back on the next day, resulting in a side-splitting conversation.

Ellen is sexually assaulted by a snake.

Ellen reenacts a viewer’s embarassing moment which involves a passer-by who was eating a submarine sandwich.

Ellen reenacts another viewer’s embarassing moment which involves a woman’s first experience taking the cold remedy known as “Airborne.”

Who knew that watching musical chairs could be so fun?  When the participants are blindfolded, hilarious hi-jinx ensue.  “Blindfolded Musical Chairs,” aired on February 4, 2009.

Ellen Tests the Hawaii Chair

Nicollette Sheridan Makes Herself Comfortable (01-16-2009)

I’ll be the first to admit that I have a very dry sense of humour, and I rather prefer black comedy to slapstick, but this infomercial literally had me in tears. I swear, real tears:

I actually think this is even funnier without the sound on.

With Hawaii Chair. I’m sorry, but if I worked in an office and saw someone with this I would automatically assume that the person was lazy.  The words “you can sit while you get fit” playing over the ukulele sends me into a rage. I mean you obvi don’t care enough about your body if you want to sit and get fit.  Oh America and our ridiculous attempts to short cut our way through anything.

Fuck it. I’d recreate it with a mountable, dildo. I ain’t even lying. Grind it to the left & right!

Now, I don’t want to be known as the girl who just discusses innovative infomercial products or plays the role of Captain Obvious. BUT, I couldn’t pass this one up. Passing this one up would be like passing up a free Chipotle burrito, and Lord knows I would NEVER do that. 

You may have seen this infomercial before. Apparently it’s a pretty well known product. However, I just got wind of it. It was even featured on the Ellen Degeneres Show. Wait a tick, so was the Cheers to YOU! CD… hm, I’m sensing a theme. Anyway, enough rif raf. Here it is:

The Hawaii Chair. You’ve guessed it, a chair that works your abs while you’re doing other things. Practical? No. Incredibly hilarious? Yes.

I really wanted to add some of my own commentary on this innovative product. But frankly, this one speaks for itself. Anything I could possibly think of to say is inevitably trumped by the image of corporate America swiveling rapidly while filing paperwork or discussing TPS reports via conference call. Am I right?

Ah, oh well. All for now.

“Exercise While I Work? It’s Not Possible! Now it is, Thanks To The Hawaii Chair!”

I got to watch Ellen Degeneres demonstrate the latest workout marvel, the Hawaii Chair. I think that the people (a.k.a. actors) on the infomercial deserve an Academy Award. You will laugh till you cry, seriously:

I just got this as an email forward and figured I’d post it here instead. Hope you guys enjoy it. Have you heard of the “Hawaii Chair”? I guess it’s a chair you can use while you work and it gives you a workout. The clip is from Ellen’s TV show. It’s very funny:)

http://ellen.warnerbros.com/2008/01/hawaii_chair.php

What I would do to get one of these…

…of course, besides paying for one…