Well…at 11.42pm at least.

My GAHD! Where does the time go? I looked at the calendar yesterday and it’s December?? During the last 3 months we have been officially travelling at Warp 8, fcuk Impulse! (No disrespect J-L.P.).

I think the 3 month mark is the magic moment for us. I finally have a firmer grip on life with Isaac. It’s all been a bit of an ordeal so far, but the past 5 days or so have seen the return of Sarah as she was known, pre-Isaac. She isn’t mentally 100% as she seems to have lost some brain power, and now seems to be referring to herself in the 3rd person. Hmm.

So anyway, back to Little Man. Breastfeeding/milk is now definitely established & there’s less frustrated screaming because it doesn’t let down quick enough. Although he did feed every 2 hours today – 3 month growth spurt methinks? Would also explain the feeding every 2 hours on the dot. Bless him. Still haven’t got into expressing. Might wait until this growth spurt is over & then give it a go as it shouldn’t upset supply & demand then.

I put him in his door bouncer for the first time proper the other day. His feet now reach the floor. He doesn’t bounce as such, but spins it round while he surveys his kingdom (and has stare downs with the dog).

Surveys Kingdom

Doggy Stare Down

We’ve been to Cine Babies at the Quad for the past 2 months. Only 9 more of those It’s such a good idea, mainly because it doesn’t matter if your baby screams because there will be other babies screaming too & everyone expects it! Hurrah! Next month: Me & Orson Welles.

I’ve taken him swimming twice. That one is tricky because the swimming class I went to is at 11.15am which is when he usually wants to be asleep. I’ve found another one which is MUCH closer (within walking distance rather than 20 minute drive) in the hospital hydrotherapy pool. Have emailed the woman so will see what comes of that. Took him into the teaching pool with Simon & the girls today. I don’t think he was that impressed with the actual in-the-water bit, but there was minimal crying & only a bit of whimpering, until back in the changing room when I unwrapped his towel & took off his baby snug. Even then it was OK because he went straight into another dry towel followed closely by clothses. I think he was tired. Which leads nicely into my next topic.

Sleep.

The Little Man won’t sleep until he’s the-most-tired-ever.com. During the day that is. At night he sleeps from about 6.30pm-7pm for between 5 & 7 hours, wakes for a feed/nappy change & then goes back to sleep for between 2& 3 hours. This was great when his last wake up was 6am, but it’s been 4.30am of late. This does not go down well in the Turner house, for Ma or Pa. It’s difficult to keep him up until 7/7.30pm though because he’s so tired and grumpy. I think it’s time to re-evaluate his nap schedule. He still naps best in’t sling. He does sleep in his pram basket for about an hour, but only after 10 minutes of grizzling. Balls to HV. I’m sticking to my guns about baby wearing. He also doesn’t settle properlyuntil he’s had some comfort sucking on me. I’ve tried to slip my nipple out of his mouth & replace it with a soother to no avail. The boy ain’t stupid. He knows what he wants & that’s real live boob. People say it’ll develop bad habits, but I dunno. He’s a little tiny baby who wants his Mamma, who am I to deny him that?

We’re looking to get a new carrier in the New Year as the Hug-a-Bub is great while he’s still relatively small, but as he grows it’s going to become  impractical. The H-a-B is supposed to be worn with the loose bits tied around ones hips. Having a waist smaller than my hips makes this difficult because it rides up & then loosens the rest of the sling meaning he’s all flopping everywhere & his head falls back at some weird ass angle. So. We’re going to get an Ergo carrier. I’ve spent hours, literally hours, pouring over different types of soft carrier wondering which would be best.  Should we get a mei tai type (which I very nearly did) or a clip fastening type? I saw a lady the first time we went to Cine Babies with a backpack style carrier & when we went again I asked her what it was. I had a look at it & it seems great! If you can be bothered there’s LOADS of information on their website all about baby wearing, its benefits, why it won’t wreck your back (HVs new tactic to discourage). It has a sleep hood which is very important for us as Isaac loves to sleep in the sling. It can be worn front, back & hip. Sold. Galaxy grey to the lady with the tattoos.

Something that reassures me in my baby wearing ways is the reading I’ve done about how humans are parent clingers, i.e.: not meant to be left in nests like birds/mice etc – makes sense as we’re descended from apes (sorry Mrs Palin) whose young are carried constantly during the early part of their lives. Research shows that baby wearing doesn’t make clingy, spoiled children; it reassures them and creates emotionally balanced and secure individuals. So, we’re meant to be carried around all of the time until we want to walk on our own? Yes! Sucks for people who don’t really like their kids!

Little Man smiles lots of the time now. He’s such a charmer I think I even heard a silvery peal of laughter the other day! His hair is getting thicker and his legs longer. However, longer legs = unable to tuck up in the sling anymore so feeties get cold! OH NO! Fear not! I’ve just found these brilliant things. Extra long merino wool booties From the rather awesomely named site, Fanny Fanackapants! Back on track. He likes singing & being jiggled about on his changing mat so I think we’re going to start going to rhyme time and maybe even TinyTalk in the new year. We just weren’t ready before. I’ve even discovered how to tie my scarf so that he’s not suffocated by it while in-sling.

Spot The Baby

So now it’s time for me to go to bed, at the rock n roll hour of 10pm – here’s hoping tomorrow doesn’t start at 4.30am!

]]> http://pieproductions.wordpress.com/2009/10/17/sleep-deprivation-and-other-stories/ Sat, 17 Oct 2009 18:03:14 +0000 pieproductions http://pieproductions.wordpress.com/2009/10/17/sleep-deprivation-and-other-stories/

“Everything is at a hazy distance. I know someone’s talking to me, but I can’t quite focus on the content of their word stream and I find my eyes glazing over while I dream of my bed.”

I used to feel like that the day after a after a night out while my still alcohol soaked brain attempted to recover. It isn’t how I feel every day, but it was how I felt yesterday after, possibly, 2 hours sleep? Even then it was snatched from between 20 minute & 1/2 hour slots allowed by Little Man. Isaac has now reached the point in his young life where he doesn’t automatically fall asleep when he gets tired. No no no, that would be too simple. He now gets overtired (Dianne I thought of you when I said that!). Lucky Mummy & Daddy! Especially Mummy as she’s the one with boob juice. Seeing as how he doesn’t sleep properly in the day unless he’s in the sling, catching up with aforementioned lost sleep doesn’t really happen. I think we’re quite lucky though, that if he sleeps OK during the day then he settles after changing/feeding at night. For instance, last night we got 2 3 hour stretches and the last one might have even been closer to 4 hours!

I’ve been having a few issues with our breast feeding experience. It seems that he always wants to be on the boob (typical man LOL) and I worry that he isn’t getting enough and that he’s starving, especially as he hadn’t put any weight on when weighed by a health visitor week before last. It doesn’t help that we’ve had thrush either (me – nipples, him – oral). We initially thought it was bad attachment causing my nips to rub against the top of his mouth, but it’s all cleared up now – for me at least. I think he still has it in his mouth, but it doesn’t interfere with feeds and I don’t seem to have got it back again so I’m hoping it’ll go on its own.

Anyhoo, I digress (massively).

Breastfeeding is an unknown quantity for me. I can’t see how much goes into him when he feeds and pumping isn’t an accurate reflection of how much he gets as he’s much more efficient at getting the milk out of me than a machine. It’s extremely worrying when all he seems to do is cry when he isn’t feeding or asleep. It’s tied in with the not liking to be left alone thing. Everything muddles together and is very difficult to articulate intelligently, so forgive my jumbled description. I’m getting more confident with how to breastfeed, but I guess it’s something that comes with time, experience and talking to those others with experience. I go to a breastfeeding group on Friday mornings at my local children’s centre. It’s very good and everyone is nice. Plus there are toys for when he’s old enough to start appreciating them.

Isaac Andrew Wiggler has different cries for different things (as all babies do) and I’m getting better at distinguishing between them. Hungry is VERY loud and repetitive, which figures because it’s a life threatening thing if he doesn’t get to eat so he needs to make sure I can hear him! Wet/dirty nappy is more of a pissed off cry, figures. There’s nothing worse than sitting in your own wee and poo! Tired is interesting. It’s more wavering and half-arsed. Overtired is a combination of all of the above, making it the most difficult to decipher. We run through everything  (Clean nappy? Check. Fed? Check. Cuddles? Check) before realising that he’s been awake for ages and needs to sleep. D’oh!

I remembered reading an article in the Spring 2009 edition of Juno magazine entitled “Crying: an explanation of why babies cry” by Teresa Pitman. I re-read it earlier this evening and it brought tears to my eyes, particularly the final paragraph which reads as follows:

“As a La Leche League leader, I often get calls from mothers who are worried that either they don’t have enough milk or there is something wrong with their milk, because their babies cry “too much”. When I ask them to describe what their baby is doing, here’s what I get: “Well, I breastfeed for twenty minutes, then I put him down in the crib, and he cries,. I pick him up: he stops crying. If I carry him around, he’s not too bad, but every time I put him down, he cries. And sometimes in the evening all he’ll do is breastfeed and cry. I don’t know if he’s just starving or it’s something I’m eating.

Of course I do explore those possible concerns with the mother, but most often it turns out that her baby is just being a baby, adjusting to beng out in the world and doing what his instincts tell him will keep him safe, ensure a good milk supply and keep him close to the parents he loves.“

I feel almightily relieved, reassured and other brilliant words beginning with R that reiterate (!) how great it made me feel! Earlier in the article, the notion of spoiling a baby was discussed and the general consensus (based on years of research of Western and tribal cultures) was that in Western culture, we don’t trust our instincts (this is what I took from it anyway). In tribal cultures, if a baby cries he’s picked up and soothed. He’s carried around in a sling in an upright position so that he’s close to his mother and always protected. He’s always offered the breast when he cries. These are all things that I think are important. However, my health visitor tells me that using the sling past 4 weeks is a bad thing. I think differently. The Hug-a-bub website reads as follows:

“Social conditioning has led parents to believe that if a baby is held or carried too frequently they will be spoilt, clingy or demanding. Modern research reveals quite the opposite. The physical and psychological benefits associated with baby wearing encourage children to feel secure and content and build a solid sense of self-esteem.

Babywearing not only promotes an intimate connection between parent and baby, it is hailed as one of the most important factors in the healthy physical, intellectual and social development of infants. It promotes good digestion which is believed to greatly eases the distressing symptoms of colic and reflux.“

Now, I know that they want sales, but it’s not the only place that I’ve read such positive things about baby wearing. For muchos información go to The BabyWearer.com, naturalmothering.co.uk, or check out some more bullet points on the Hug-a-bub website. So, ner to you HV.

Something else my HV said was that face spots was completely normal in babies. I remembered that Isaac didn’t have any until, through exhaustion and lack of will to cook, I caved in and ate a pizza. The next day he came out in a rash of angry red pimples on his cheeks. I don’t eat a lot of dairy as a rule so I decided to cut it out completely. I also (at the recommendation of an NCT friend) put some breast milk on the spots. Within a few hours they had calmed down dramatically and have only come back (on a smaller scale) when I’ve given in and had something with dairy in it. So. A decision has been made by me to go vegan. I’d considered veganism before he was born and have been gravitating that way for a while now, but it’s through sheer laziness on my part that I haven’t made the switch sooner. We have so many vegan cook books and our evening meals are usually vegan anyway; now I’m convinced that it’s the logical way forward.

We have our 6 week postnatal check next week and an appointment has been booked for his immunisations, despite HV saying she’d get a message put in Isaac’s medical notes to say we didn’t want them. Typical.

Anyhoo, Little Man was weighed again this week and has put on some weight. Not much, but some. As goes the mantra – all babies are different. So I try not to worry, feed him when he cries and love him all the time.

Oddly enough, I had started drafting this post a couple of hours before I saw World of a Mummy’s Carnival of Eating post. I’m interested to see if anyone else has had issues like we have with eating, and will be gathering up advice that I can use the next time I tackle weaning.

Aside from basic pregnancy manuals, the first book I bought when I was pregnant was Annabel Karmel’s Baby and Toddler Meal Planner. I found it in a charity shop reduced to a pound, and bought it on a whim because it looked sensible enough. Even at four months pregnant, and without wishing my baby’s life away, I was looking forward to weaning. I would start with baby rice, move on to fruits and vegetables, add chicken and fish and before I knew it my baby would be enthusiastically digging away in a massive bowl of tomatoey pasta with his own baby fork while we took the smeary-faced pictures of him that are required by law. My baby would only eat homemade food – no jars or pouches for him. After all, what could be so difficult?

Fast forward to the Bear being a few days shy of 18 months, and his tea tonight consisting of two mouthfuls of meatball and a tiny bit of potato. This is about average for his dinner, with lunch being slightly better and breakfast the best meal of the day by far, sometimes involving a whole slice of toast! (*breaks out cheerleading pompoms*).

From day one he was never that bothered about food. At six months I started weaning him on homemade purees, which were given decidedly short shrift. I tried Ella’s Kitchen pouche which he loved, but only the stage one smooth purees. At nine months he started completely refusing the spoon and so since then has been on finger food only (with me attempting spoon fun throughout, and failing miserably), although still never eats anything approaching a full portion. He adores dried fruit, melba toast, cheese straws; but will not give anything with a sauce the time of day. He will eat fish, but rarely meat (tonight’s meatball breakthrough had me pumping the air in an embarrassing Gladiators style). He has very little time for carbs – pasta is routinely thrown on the floor. He’ll pick food that he likes off a pre-loaded spoon or fork, but has no interest in using cutlery.

I have worried more about the Bear’s eating than I have about anything else since I gave birth. While everyone from my antenatal group had these little bird-babies who would open their mouths as soon as they saw a spoon, I was running all over the leisure centre cafe retrieving bits of lobbed toast or raisins while the little chap cried in his highchair because I’d attempted to sit him down for five minutes to give him his lunch. Inevitably I would end up leaving because of the stress, full of unshed tears because my baby wasn’t eating like I was told he should have been and because I didn’t know what I could do to make things all right. I knew the stress I was projecting probably made things much worse, but I felt like a huge failure. Who can’t get their child to eat, for goodness’ sake?

The funny thing is, minimal appetite and mega fussiness aside, the Bear doesn’t seem to be suffering at all. He is a good weight for his age, is taller than average and is never lethargic. He gets enthusiastic about food he knows he likes, but just doesn’t seem to need very much of it. And it’s only been in the last month that I’ve managed to put my worries aside and just let him get on with it. I had him checked over by the health visitor, who said that he was perfectly healthy, and also that THIS IS WHAT KIDS DO. Apparently toddlers can thrive on the smallest amounts of food, and at this age there’s too much stuff to be getting on with (walking, running, talking, spinning a roll of sellotape round the living room for two hours straight) to bother about being restrained in a chair and eating delicious homemade food.

I have no idea what the official guidance is on matters such as these – where I live every different HV has a completely different opinion on what needs to be done and whether your actions will have condemned both you and your baby to one of the inner circles of hell – but this was exactly what I needed to hear. He is normal, despite eating much, much less than all the other babies his age that we know. According to the HV I haven’t done anything wrong (although in all seriousness, if you read this and disagree then please say so – I would much rather know so I can avoid doing it next time, should we have another). And funnily enough, since I relaxed and stopped emo-ing about it all the time – and in the last few days especially – the variety of foods he is eating is expanding. It’s slow, but I think we’ll get there.

After the initial telephone call of doom on Friday afternoon, the visit went well and I actually really like my Health Visitor! She gave me some really useful breastfeeding tips and advice. Looks like I’ll be going along to her breastfeeding group across the road on Friday mornings. Turns out the Well Baby clinic is only over the road too so that makes things easy She put things in perspective, in that at the moment all Little Man knows is sucking, crying, sleeping, weeing & pooing. He’s doing well on all those fronts so I guess I must be doing something right. Apart from maybe the sleeping thing, but not all babies sleep as much as each other do they? He does OK at night; obviously we don’t get as much sleep as we’d like, but I seem to have night feeds down so that helps.

She also talked to me about the birth. She was surprised that, as I’d had spontaneous membrane rupture & planned a home birth, that I’d ended up having a caesarean. I explained that the midwives who came at 4am asked me to go into hospital for a CTG & I’d ended up staying & she was of the opinion that, as I’d been taken out of my own surroundings into a strange unfamiliar environment, that my body had shut down & decided not to give birth then. Sounds about right to me! I’d thought this already, but didn’t want to really believe it. I can’t help wondering what would’ve happened if I’d gone home. There’s absolutely no point doing this though as it’s now in the past, Le Wiggler est ici & he’s healthy etc. Anyhoo…food for thought.

The trolley of no-bags-to-carry-wheelie-greatness

How are things going? They’re going well. We’ve had a few nightmare days when I wanted to curl up & die, but who doesn’t, right? The dummy/soother has died a death after only really being wanted by Isaac for about 1/2 a day. So now he sucks my finger instead. Although, last night I put a few drops of lavender oil on the muslin that goes under his head in his crib and he didn’t need any kind of other soothing for the whole night! (for the times that he wasn’t feeding etc). Lavender is good stuff I’ve decided – the knock out stuff of infants. We’ll see how it goes tonight.

The sling continues to be daytime salvation. Isaac doesn’t sleep during the day unless he’s in the sling. I tried to have a nap the other day, which was hideous. I nearly got to sleep a few times in the course of an hour, but Isaac didn’t sleep at all & I eventually gave up & felt like rhubarb for the rest of the day. Dad bought me a granny trolley to use in town when I’m wearing the sling & don’t have the luxury of being able to carry lots of bags plus baby. It’s amazing – thank you me Da!

I shall be glad when Simon has finished with enrolment at uni & he’s home at a decent time in the evenings. I don’t know what I would’ve done without Dad being here. He’s been great – made me lunch every day & offered words of encouragement and understanding.  He’s ace and will be missed when he goes home on Friday…alone at last Bring on the visitors!

Super Pa!

That is all I have to say for now, other than this…

(not Isaac!)

]]> http://nctwatch.wordpress.com/2009/05/07/health-visitor-postcode-lottery-continues/ Thu, 07 May 2009 16:10:18 +0000 nctwatch http://nctwatch.wordpress.com/2009/05/07/health-visitor-postcode-lottery-continues/

How often a child sees a health visitor is still a postcode lottery, according to new research which reveals the ratio of health visitors to children under five in England. Figures released in May by the Family and Parenting Institute show that there are huge variations in the number of health visitors up and down the country – County Durham PCT has one health visitor for every 165 children whereas some London PCTs have as few as one health visitor for 800 children.  The findings come ahead of the Department of Health (DH) and the CPHVA/Unite’s summit on health visitors taking place on 5 May and follows Lord Laming’s recommendation that the number of health visitors needs to be increased*.

Mary MacLeod, Chief Executive of the Family and Parenting Institute said: “The value of health visitors is unquestionable. Parents tell us they are a lifeline. Having a baby is a great joy but also a huge change for any family, especially first time round as you deal with sleepless nights and new demands, Mums and Dads are eager for good advice. And a well-trained health visitor can make all the difference. Health visitors respond to parents’ worries and concerns, and their unique relationship and position of visiting families in their home means that they can detect problems that parents may not talk about – such as post natal depression, domestic violence or child abuse. They really are the frontline, able to pick problems early before matters get out of hand. This postcode lottery is unacceptable. We need a universal health visitor service so that all parents can have the support they want and need and children’s wellbeing can be safeguarded.”

The Family and Parenting Institute has been campaigning for more health visitors since 2007. It is calling for:

• a universal health visitor service with an intensive service for parents who will benefit most;
• a preventative health visitors service – the key to unlocking support for vulnerable families who are still missing out;
• and a well-trained health visitor service with a clearly defined role and a better career structure.

The health visitor table shows a clear North-South divide in the service. The top three performing PCTs, when it comes to health visitors, in England were County Durham, Darlington and Bournemouth. Of the ten PCTs with the lowest number of health visitors, eight of them were in London. There was also disparity in PCTs’ budgets for health visiting. The biggest spender, Wirral PCT allocated over £386 per child under five (in the financial year 08/09). South West Essex Teaching PCT has much shorter pockets for its health visiting budget spending just over £60 per child.

CPHVA/Unite which represents health visitors recommends that health visitors should have a case load of no more than 250 children – only 15 of the 136 respondents meet this target.

The Family and Parenting Institute has also compared the number of health visitors each PCT had in 2006 with how many they have now. The findings show that some PCTs (including some who had the lowest number of health visitors in our last survey), have dramatically increased numbers, while in other Trusts numbers have dropped significantly over the last two years. Lambeth’s health visitors caseload has nearly doubled (88% increase). At the other end of the spectrum Darlington has gone from having 17 health visitors to 29 for 5,300 children.

Changes are being made to the way a baby’s weight and development is measured, as reported in The Sunday Times today.

Currently, health visitors measure a baby’s weight against a chart based on exclusively bottle fed infants.  This has meant that the norm is actually above what is now considered a healthy weight.

These changes will mean that the measurements will be taken against the average breast fed baby, so what was previously considered a thin baby, will now be classed as normal.

Breast feeding is fulfilling, emotionally satisfying, as well as demanding, emotionally and physically draining - and one of the biggest challenges along with sleepless nights that a new mother can face.  Especially as it’s one of the only responsibilities that dad cannot share.

Fewer than one in two mothers still breastfeed at six weeks, and this falls to 25% at six months.  Fewer than 1% of mothers follow official advice to breastfeed exclusively for the first six months.

What are your thoughts?  How long did you breast feed for?  Did you feel pressured by the ‘breast is best’ message?  Did you get enough support from your health visitor?

Catherine at Baby Genie says:

Personally I don’t feel I got all that much guidance from my health visitor – even at the bears 8 month check I wanted to talk more about portion sizes and whether I was providing enough protein and so on – I know now it’s up to me to ask lots of questions rather than be guided.
I attended a really good breastfeeding clinic which helped a lot with initial latching on and positioning, but the pressure of ‘breast is best’ left me feeling really low when I wanted to ween to formula feeding, lots of tears and guilt making the switch to bottles.

i turned over from my back to my tummy yesterday.  daddy and mommy missed it.  daddy was on his computer and mommy had just gotten up to turn off the stove.  mommy’s been staring at me waiting for me to do it again.  i have not.

the health visitor came by today for my 6 month visit.  nothing major.  she dropped a pack of books for mommy to read to me.  she weighed me.  i’m now 12 lbs 1 oz.  i guess all that travel and being sick took a toll on my little body.

we went to ikea today to get a rug.  mommy said i need space to roll around.  it’s nice… much softer than the hardwood floors.  daddy and mommy also got me a froggy stuffed animal and a lady bug stuffed animal with a mirror.  i’m too tired to play with them now tho.

more cousin pictures

The British Medical Journal this week published research suggesting that Health visitors can be trained to identify women with postnatal depression and offer effective treatment. It also notes that telephone peer support (mother to mother) may halve the risk of developing postnatal depression.

The research found that about 13 per cent of women experience postnatal depression in the year following the birth of their child. Postnatal depression is frequently undetected and untreated, often because of poor recognition of symptoms, unawareness of treatment options or fear of stigmatisation. The report says that whilst antidepressants have been shown to be an effective treatment for postnatal depression, many women are reluctant to take drugs, especially when breast feeding. Psychological therapies may provide an alternative treatment, but their effectiveness is unclear.

In one of the largest trials of postnatal depression, Dr Jane Morrell and colleagues analysed whether psychological interventions were effective in treating the symptoms of postnatal depression. Over 4,000 mothers from 101 general practices in England consented to take part. Practices were randomised so women received either a cognitive behavioural approach or a person centred approach from specially trained health visitors or health visitor usual care.

Health visitors in the intervention group were trained to identify depressive symptoms and deliver cognitive behavioural or person centred sessions for an hour per week for up to eight weeks. Validated scales were used to assess depressive symptoms among the mothers. A threshold score of 12 or more identified women with symptoms of depression. Participants were followed up for 18 months and assessed every six months using a postal questionnaire.

At both six months and 12 months postnatally, the mothers who received care from the specially trained health visitors showed significantly greater reductions in depressive symptoms than those who received health visitor usual care. Mothers in the intervention group with depressive symptoms at six weeks were 40% less likely to have depressive symptoms at six months than those receiving health visitor usual care.

The researchers found no benefit of one psychological approach over the other.

In a second study, Dr Cindy-Lee Dennis and colleagues from Canada examined the effectiveness of telephone based peer support to prevent postnatal depression in high risk women.

After web-based screening of more than 21,000 women from seven health regions in Ontario, Canada, 701 were identified at high risk of postnatal depression and randomised to receive standard postnatal care or standard care and the support of a peer volunteer (who had experienced postnatal depression themselves).

Mothers who received peer support had half the risk of developing postnatal depression at 12 weeks after birth than those in the control group. Mothers were receptive to receiving telephone-based peer support and over 80 per cent said they were satisfied with their experience and would recommend this support to a friend.

In the accompanying editorial, Dr Cindy-Lee Dennis noted that women and family members should be educated about postnatal depression so they can recognise the symptoms, and that treatment needs to be convenient and accessible to new mothers. She calls for a coordinated multidisciplinary approach to identify postnatal depression involving all health professionals who come into contact with new mothers including midwives, doctors, nurses and health visitors.

Owen is a big old lump nowadays, I’m feeling veeeery uncomfortable – and I’ve still got 2 weeks to my due date! Potentially I could go another 4 weeks, by which time I’ll be the size of a moose who just won a pie-eating contest. Oh – and my bump really itches!

First visit from the Health Visitor today, which is sort of exciting. It marks a new phase in babydom. Midwives look after you while baby is in the tummy, health visitors take over when baby has made his debut in the real world! So this was kind of a sneak preview for her. She was really nice and we had a chat about baby stuff, mother and baby groups, breastfeeding support etc. I got Owen’s little red book, too, which somehow made me feel rather proud of him, even though he hasn’t even done anything yet! Well, except wriggle and kick a lot, which must count for something!

Had a bit of a ranty moment this morning, due mainly to the fact that I’m just not getting a decent night’s sleep at all, and also still feeling really bunged up and coldy. I think mum got a bit impatient with me about it – and I got impatient back. Yes, I WAS wallowing and being a bit self-pitying – but does she have to be SO pragmatic and take quite such a ‘get over it’ attitude? Couldn’t she at least TRY to understand, to see things from my perspective? I’m nine months pregnant, give me a break, mum. I’m allowed to feel a bit down sometimes. I’ve done pretty well so far, considering my less-than-ideal situation, considering the fact that I’m doing this on my own, no loving husband to rub my back and sing to my bump, considering the fact that I’ve been suffering with the dreaded lurgy for over a week now…

But I have to see things from mum’s perspective too. She’s taking me in, and she’s taking a newborn baby on board, she’s making a lot of compromises for me, and I don’t actually think that most mothers would do for their daughters what she is doing. I don’t even really know what John thinks about all this, for all I know there may have been disagreements over this. I do feel extremely lucky that my mum is prepared to do this for me, even if it is only for a short time. And now I’m in her house, I have to play by her rules. I can’t just wallow about in misery, feeling sorry for myself. I do need to snap out of it. But getting rid of this damn cold would be a good start.

I’m starting to go a bit stir-crazy, I think. I’ve barely left the house the last few days. It’s not just that I’ve been ill. The fact is, I’m finding getting around is more and more of a struggle. I walked into the village to go to the shop today. It’s a ten minute walk, and by the time I got there I was gasping for breath, my legs ached and my bump and pelvis felt bruised and battered. For the first time, I realised that I really was walking with a peculiar waddling gait, legs apart, swaying from side to side in a very ungainly fashion. Actually, ’swaying’ makes it sound far more graceful than it was. ‘Lurching’ would be more descriptive, I feel. I felt very self-conscious and tried not to, but it was virtually impossible to walk normally. It was a relief to get back to the house.

Rest of the day spent in unpacking and repacking my bags for hospital, printing out yet another version of my birth plan, writing lists of stuff I still need to pack, and being outbid on a nappy bucket on eBay. How hard can it be to find a nappy bucket? I will tell you. It is very hard, unless you go to Ebay. There you will find many nappy buckets. But I can’t believe that I can’t just walk into a shop and buy one. What is the world coming to? Woolworths has gone. Wedgewood has gone. Waterford Crystal has gone. Nappy buckets are in short supply. Colds last over a week. Armageddon must be approaching!

This baby is wheeled in to the Baby Clinic and every woman in there heaves a small sigh of gratified motherhood pangs.

Because it’s dressed in a knitted grey body suit with white pom poms on the toes.

White pom poms! How utterly darling!

Particularly when the baby uses them to drag its little feet up towards its mouth.

You are pretty sure you were not alone in having a moment of avid covetousness.

So the emotional temperature of the room turned noticably hostile when the first thing the Health Visitor said when she got the baby on her scales was:

“Well, those will have to come off for a start. He will swallow them.”

Sleepy “Bruce Willis” smile – I wonder what he’s dreaming!

I can’t believe it – Xander is now four whole weeks old – where on earth is the time going? We haven’t quite got a routine yet, but we’re approaching something that vaguely resembles it. Our days work something like this:

6.30am – feed Xander
7.45am – Have a quick shower and get dressed whilst Xander sleeps
9.30am – Xander wakes up and demands a top-up
10.15am – grab a little breakfast while Xander naps
11.00am – Feed Xander again and then play
1.30pm-ish – feed Xander again then he sleeps
4pm-ish – Feed Xander again, then he dozes
6pm-ish – Feed Xander while Dale has something to eat and then hand Xander to Dale while I eat, then entertain Xander
8.30pm-ish – Bath time
8.45pm – Feed Xander then put him down to bed (I also go to bed)
11.30pm-ish – Feed Xander and then put him back to bed
3.00am – feed Xander
Completely fail to get him to settle for longer than about 20 minutes at a time till about
5.00am-ish – when he’ll have a small top-up feed and then sleep

On alternate Thursday mornings I have to take him to the doctors’ surgery to see the Health Visitor and get weighed between 10am and 12pm, and roughly every other day or so we take a trip outside just to the shops or somewhere nearby after his lunchtime feed.

Xander is really coming along leaps and bounds now – he’s holding his head up for longer periods, especially when we have him on our shoulders for burping or for a cuddle, and he follows us with his eyes when we move in front of him.

Holding his head up at 3 weeks 5 days

Over the course of the last week or so, he’s found his thumb a couple of times and also held and shook his rattle a few times too. Also, as you can see from the photograph, we managed to capture a proper smile from him the other day too.

Big, cheesy grin!

His legs are so strong that he pushes himself up the changing mat and scoots backwards, and his grip is very strong too – he’ll get us in a strangle hold around the neck and refuse to let go of my necklace until I prise it from his fingers!

We get quite a few visitors too – afternoons are usually best as it gives me a chance to make sure I’m showered and dressed and have a chance of putting on some makeup to make myself presentable!

Today my new breast feeding pillow arrived and the feed we had directly after its arrival was far easier and more comfortable for my back. I might even be able to feed him cradle-fashion instead of having him under my arm like a little rugby ball at this rate! Xander’s thrush seems to be gone too, but I’m going to complete his course of medicine (I think it’ll be finished after today anyway) just to be sure. He’s been very good about not spitting it out despite the fact that it’s clear he doesn’t like how it tastes at all (it smells rather pleasantly of banana and marzipan). I think it has disagreed with his little tummy though, as we’ve had some very explosive nappies during the time since we started giving the medicine to him. I’m hoping that will settle down again once the course is finished. I also think I’ll nip along to get him weighed tomorrow morning (despite not having to till next week) just to see how he’s doing.

And I weighed myself the other day – I was pleased to discover I’m only about 11lbs off my pre-pregnancy weight, which is pretty good considering I haven’t been able to do any proper exercise yet due to the C-section (I’m supposed to wait till after my six week check before starting up a light exercise programme).

Overall, we’re tired but very happy. Dale has another week off work after this one, but then he’s back to his rounds again. Not sure how that’s going to affect our tentative routine – I’m used to having him around in the mornings to help out if Xander wakes up while I’m in the shower or to help get Xander settled after a feed when I still stink of milk and it agitates the little chap.

We’re getting there – slowly, but surely!

Xander and me at my computer this afternoon!

Today saw something of a major achievement – not only did we have a pretty good night with feeds only at around 11.30pm and 3am before sleeping right through till 6.30am, but I managed to get up, get showered, do my face and hair, and take Xander to the doctors’ surgery to see the Health Visitor all by myself! And it was a good visit as Xander now weighs 9lbs 5.5oz, so he’s gained half a pound in a week! If that’s not the sign of a healthy, growing boy, I don’t know what is! Unfortunately I noticed this morning that he’d picked up a touch of thrush. Fortunately, it’s only a little bit (we’ve caught it very early) and it’s easily treatable with drops.

Of course, while we were at the pharmacy picking up the prescription, Xander started complaining rather loudly that his mother was starving him! It’s a good job we live just around the corner – although he fell back to sleep in his buggy on the way home anyway, so I didn’t have to hear his pitiful cries all the way home after all!

This afternoon, my old boss, Sandra, will be coming to visit. Xander has just been fed again and is pretty much snoozing on my shoulder as I type, so she may well be able to get a little cuddle before I put him down…

PS Please forgive any typos – I’m typing one-handedly whilst cradling my adorable boy against me!

O astept pe health visitor, trebuie sa apara acum la 2. De acum inainte cu ea o sa discut probleme legate de bebe, midwifele si-au facut treaba. O sa mai vina totusi o midwifa sa verifice buricutul Lisei dupa ce cade. Ieri i-am tras teapa fara sa vreau. M-au sunat luni sau marti sa imi spuna ca va veni health visitor ‘next thursday’. In dictionarul meu ‘next’ inseamna urmatorul. Deci nu joia asta, urmatoarea. A mai zis ceva si de October, si joia viitoare e 2 octombrie. Asa ca ieri am fost si eu la coafor . Eu si Miha ne-am tuns amandoua, a fost fun. Foarte dragut, m-a tuns un senior stylist. 33 de lire, al naibii. Dar a meritat, m-a tuns exact cum vroiam. Se purta cu parul meu de parca era cel mai pretios lucru pe care il vazuse in viata lui. Liam, mi-a dat cartea lui de vizita sa il cer si data viitoare. M-a intrebat daca ma vopsesc singura si i-am povestit cum mi-a vopsit Cristinoi radacinile la spital. Am tras perdelele si ne-am facut de cap ). Pai doar nu era sa stau asa, doar pentru ca eram internata, nu? Fetele din salon au fost dragute, nu au zis nimic, dar cand m-am intors dupa ce am condus-o pe Cristinoi, deschisesera toate geamurile Oricum midwifele nici nu au bagat de seama, cred. Nici macar a doua zi nu au zis: ‘wow, Isabela, ce bine arati!’ Nu au deloc simt de observatie.

O ora si un pic am lipsit ieri de acasa si mi s-a facut dor de piticuta mea. Asa mult m-am obisnuit cu ea, si mi-e asa draga, a inceput sa faca tot felul de mutrite caraghioase, sa zambeasca si sa se uite smechereste pe sub gene. A inceput sa manance mai bine, mai are momente cand este agitata sau adoarme prea repede si apoi trebuie sa o luam de la capat, dar suntem pe drumul cel bun. Imi ia cam 40-45 de minute o data la 3 ore ca sa pape bine, dar midwifele m-au asigurat ca in timp o sa manance mai bine, mai repede. De dormit cel mai bine doarme afara, in timp ce o plimbam cu caruciorul, cate 2-3 ore pe zi. Aaa, cel mai mult ii place sa doarma cu noi in pat, pur si simplu se lipeste acolo. Dar toata lumea ne-a zis sa nu o obisnuim asa. Plus ca noi nu prea dormeam, motaiam stresati sa nu ne intoarcem cumva si sa o deranjam. Doar de vreo doua ori am lasat-o, la inceput cand eram rupti de somn. Dar ii place tare mult sa se cuibareasca la caldurica, cred ca ii aduce aminte de cand era in burtica. Se gadila la picioruse, ca si mine, si tot ca mine, daca ii zici sanatate dupa ce a stranutat prima oara, nu mai poate stranuta a doua oara. Cateodata are pur si simplu chef de vorba, ii place sa o tii cu fata si sa vorbesti cu ea, se uita cu ochisorii ei mari si migdalati si face tot felul de mutrite. Nu ii place cand ii schimbam pampersul sau hainutele, nici baia nu ii face placere. Cred ca are tot legatura cu faptul ca e dezbracata. Am observat ca daca ii schimb scutecul dupa ce i-am dat de mancare e mult mai calma, dar nu e litera de lege. Are plamani seriosi, piticuta mea.

Miercuri cand a cantarit-o midwifa avea 2,640 kg, deci a pus 140 g in 5 zile. In 5 zile in care inca a mai invatat cum se mananca. Midwifa s-a declarat foarte multumita. Urmatoarea cantarire e miercurea viitoare. A zis sa nu o cantaresc mai mult de o data pe saptamana, sa nu fac o obsesie din asta. Nu fac, stiu cand mananca bine si cand nu. Eu una nu imi dau seama, ca o vad non-stop, dar Dani zice ca s-a mai implinit. Si mie parca mi se pare ca are manutele mai mari si falcutele la fel. Inca ii sunt toate hainutele mari, chiar si cele de newborn. I-am mai luat niste vestute pentru early baby, adica baby mai mic decat newborn baby.

Update: intre timp a venit si health visitor, a stat o gramada. Mi-a pus o multime de intrebari, dar am si aflat unele lucruri noi. Pentru faptul ca s-a nascut cu 2 saptamani mai tarziu, va merge la scoala, ma rog, pre-scoala, cand va avea aproape 5 ani. De exemplu anul asta toti copiii care au implinit 4 ani pana la 30 august merg la scoala acum, in 2008. Restul la anul. Mi se pare cam stupida legea asta, inflexibila. Pentru altii e mult mai rau, am citit un articol despre niste gemeni nascuti la o diferenta de 20 de minute. Numai ca diferenta asta a fost fix la miezul noptii, iar primul a fost declarat nascut pe 30 august, celalalt pe 1 septembrie. Iar parintii au facut tot felul de petitii si de cereri, doar ca cei doi sa poata merge impreuna la scoala. Cand am citit articolul, inca nu se decisese daca le va acorda sau nu aceasta ‘favoare’. Am mai aflat despre vaccinele pe care i le vor face. Saracuta, la 3 luni ii vor face 3 injectii o data. Se fac la 2, 3, 4 luni si apoi la 1 an. Eu va trebui sa ma programez pentru o consultatie medicala la 6 saptamani de la nastere. Health visitor mi-a atras atentia ca Lisa e programata automat dupa cele 6 saptamani, eu trebuie sa sun si sa ma programez. Cand o controla, i-a cazut si buricutul. Acum trebuie sa se mai vindece acolo.

Astazi a fost Dani sa o si inregistreze. Oficial, acum este Lisa Dochita. Ne vor trimite certificatul de nastere prin posta.

Maine promit sa scot si pozele pe care le-am facut in ultimele zile.

Staying at home and looking after your children is sometimes cooler than going out to work (note I don’t classify staying at home with kids as not working, due to the fact that working in M15 is probably less stressful than staying at home with kids) because if, like me, you spend a lot of time staring at your children in wide eyed amazement, you get to chart their progress.  We have already established that I am, like Bill Oddie in his post Goodie days, one of the world’s watchers.  Luckily, with children there is always something to watch.  Unfortunately this is usually followed by something to do, but beggars can’t be choosers, and as I said to a friend of mine recently, I did volunteer.  This was, of course before I realized how much pooh was involved.

By progress I don’t mean their growth and weight as per the ever tedious trips to the health visitor.  I gave up going to the health visitor after Tilly.  I know they’re putting on weight because I have to keep going to the shop to buy new clothes.  I don’t need seven years in medical school for that thanks (as my ex-husband once said when I was bleeding through yet another miscarriage and he pointed out that I was losing a lot of blood, which he could see due to the large amounts of blood about my person: ‘Thanks for that. I can see you’ve had some medical training.’ It made me laugh.  The doctor didn’t get it).  Yes, I realize that if it’s anything more complicated than nappy rash and a chart to see whether being a new mother is quite depressing (It’s a big piece of paper with the words ‘TICK YES’ on in red pen) I will have to make another appointment to see a doctor, thanks.  Thanks for making me wait for forty five minutes in a waiting room full of squalling babies for that.  Hopefully I’ll be able to return the favour one day when you really need to know something about chocolate cornflake squares. Now fuck off and leave me alone so I can see if you’re in the right percentile for pies.

Right, so proper progress is what we’re talking about here.  The cool stuff.  Things like the fact that this week Oscar has developed some great new vocabulary including words like:

• Beetle (usually followed by the words, ‘Beetle! BEETLE! BEEEETTTLLLEEE!)
• Big (enthusiastically with much flinging of hands. Big things are good things)
• Jenkin (means gently, but sounds so much better when squawked at top volume while you’re trying to do something he doesn’t like)
• Blankin (blanket. He likes ending words with ‘kin’. Not sure who he gets this from.  Possibly a hidden Albanian gene pool)
• Chick -un
• Bogey
• Fart

Excellent! Tick and a smiley face, particularly for those horrible bodily function words that all children should know as soon as possible to cement their place in the midget tribe.  Nobody is going to topple him from his pledge to be the rudest baby in nursery, and given his sister’s comments about ‘nards’ earlier today I feel that the title is safe in the middleweight league as well.  He already knows; pooh, wee, willy, bum and bugger as well as boobs, which he says in a Benny Hill type way, complete with grimace.  He is a star pupil!  As I commented in a previous blog.  Already a rude baby.  Although he can also say: please, thank you, ta, you’re welcome and sorry, when pushed.  Usually never when he should though, it has to be said.  He is what may be known as a polarity responder.  He gets that from me, bless him.

Sentences this week include:

1. ‘I’ve got it!’
2. ‘Put it on’
3. ‘Din nah ready now’
4. ‘beebies on telly.’
5. ‘Haysho under bed’

Not sure about the last two, quite pleased about the first three.

As well as these superb linguistic leaps he has also taken strides in terms of likes and dislikes particularly in the fashion stakes.  So far he likes:

• Headbands, particularly Matilda’s green glittery one, although he will wear the black velvet one at a push if Matilda has hidden the green glittery one.  The black velvet one needs lots of adjustments as it is quite springy and prone to boinging off his head, which is not ideal. It nearly blinded him several times this afternoon, but one must suffer for fashion.
• Hats.  I have already documented his obsession with Tallulah’s lilac sun hat, which he likes to smuggle up to bed with him whenever possible.  He was running around the garden centre in a very fetching beige pie maker style hat today and was most upset when I wouldn’t pay twenty five pounds for him to discard it cruelly as a huge fashion faux pas in the car on the way home.  He also likes to try wrenching the hats off of similar sized toddlers who are slow on the uptake.  This is a fantastic game.  He likes to try and wear his hats and his headbands together.  It is causing a lot of frustration and angst and he has not yet worked out that less is more in the world of couture.
• Shoes. He has a pair of brown shoes.  They are very sensible. We are not keen.  Today we visited the shoe shop and purchased a pair of blue leather sandals. He loves them so much he ripped them out of the bag when we got home and demanded that we put his shoes on immediately.  He keeps sitting and looking at them, and wandering around muttering about his ‘shoes’.  He also likes to wear Jason’s sandals if at all possible, although usually only one because two would be fatal.
• Wellingtons.  I have separated these from the world of common or garden shoes, as they are a special category. It is my experience that all children have a love affair with the Wellington boot at some stage of their development.  It is more important than the Lacanian mirror phase or Freud’s separation anxiety. It marks the watershed between baby and infant with places to go.  Oscar’s Wellingtons are a little roomy and come up over his knees, which make him walk rather like a small fascist, but as that is essentially what he is, and it slows him down enough so that I can catch up with him, I am not unduly bothered.  Tilly had red Wellingtons with rainbows on that she picked herself from John Lewis, Tallulah had pink sparkly ones from Adams, and Oscar has gone for navy with a football theme from Peacocks.  He is a very happy boy when he is allowed to stamp about in his wellertons as Tallulah used to call them.  As with Jason’s sandal, he prefers one, but will make do with both if pushed.
• Bags.  As he has two elder sisters it is almost inevitable that he would develop a passion for handbags.  The girls have very kindly given him one from their copious stash.  I note that they have chosen a rather masculine grey felt one with utility style pockets.  All is well in the world of the man bag until you look inside and the lilac silk lining gives it away.  Today he found my Charlie and Lola rucksack and has worn it solidly for four hours.  He only took it off when I refused to put him in his high chair wearing it.  I fear that is the end for me and Charlie and Lola.  This is much the same tragic tale as Tilly and my Miffy rucksack.  I don’t mind too much sacrificing Charlie and Lola, but if he goes near my Ghost bag he’s a dead boy.

So, there we have it.  A headband wearing, hat loving, Wellington clad boy about town with his Charlie and Lola man bag and navy sandals.  One who can quite clearly to tell you to bugger off while he’s eating his dinner and who is not afraid of his feminine side.  I am happy that he is learning to express his individuality.  My brother wore a frock, a brown anorak and wellingtons for three years of his life and I think his ability to love kittens is thanks to that.  I think men get the thin end of the wedge when it comes to fashion and Oscar is obviously going to set things right in his own inimitable way.

I feel that this is all very fine when one is in the tender years of youth, but as the years go on he may need some style counselling for which I am going to enlist the services of my excellent friend and all round sharply turned out fashion guru Andy Lewis, who has just spent £125 on dry cleaning and knows the meaning of style.  I’m sure he won’t mind dropping a few sartorial hints here and there.  I certainly won’t be asking the health visitor that’s for sure.

All this progress, along with his already legendary addiction to books (nursery mentioned it in his report!!), his ability to colour things in like a ninja and his preternatural hearing when it comes to anyone opening a crisp packet within three hundred yards of him makes me think that despite the fact that I am probably one of the most unsuitable women in the world ever to don the mantle of motherhood, I’m not doing too bad a job after all.

Even if I am hampering his development, surely this is a good thing? I don’t want him to be any more developed. He’s only nineteen months old for God’s sake.  I remember Jamie telling me when Tilly was little that he didn’t want her to watch television because he was afraid it would turn her into a drivelling moron.  I upped her watching quota because I was desperate for something to slow her down so that I could have a cup of tea in peace.  Despite all the research to the contrary, I don’t think it made a blind bit of difference, except that she now has an encyclopaedic knowledge of Pokemon related trivia and can sing all the CBeebies theme tune songs word perfect.

2 years 2months

29lbs.

Being two agrees with Rafe. He has lots of independence, but knows that mommy and daddy are here if he needs us. He walks and runs like an old pro. He loves to jump on the beds with sister and brother (when mommy isn’t looking, of course!) They have also very helpfully shown him how to slide down the stairs on plastic lids and flattened boxies…. Talking is still a bit limited to single words but he’s getting there and I’m not worried. Recently he’s added “dance” “bess ew” “hereitis” “juice” “grandad”  and “‘ello Ivvy” (hello Livvy) to his vocabulary. He tends to pick words up, use them and discard them very quickly though, so his actual vocabulary is probably far bigger than what he displays on a daily basis. The health visitor has asked to review his speech in six months.

He is a very picky eater. No fruit. No meat. spaghetti,toast,pancakes,bread,yogurt,creamy rice,baked beans. Those are his favorite things, and pretty much all he will eat. Oh, and chocolate. He has got a huge sweet tooth.

He is adventurous, loves to climb things and isn’t particularly clingy when we’re out and about. He loves to dance, he adores swimming. I think it’s definitely because of the older two that he is so adventurous, they are so wild themselves, and they always have time for him, to show him how to do something, lift him up, take him down, push him on the swings, etc.

I am always amazed seeing how the older two are with Rafe. Things can be so fraught with D sometimes that I just cry. And then I hear him in the next room, jubilantly congratulating Rafe on saying a new word, or he’ll make a special trip all the way upstairs just to say goodnight to his little brother, or take his hand and gently lead him to a new play thing. It reminds me of how much I love him, and how no matter how trying his behaviour can be, he is at heart tender, loving, patient. It helps me remember, again, that he will grow out of his bullheadedness, he will find himself, and he will be fine.

I suppose my only concern about Rafe is the way his left foot turns inwards when he walks or runs.  It has always done that and it is something that has been gnawing at my mind for some time now. I couldn’t sit on it any more so I mentioned it to the health visitor. She watched him run, and agreed that it did turn inwards, and thought perhaps it was actually his knee.  She’s referred him to a podiatrist (a podiatrist?- seems like an odd choice) So, we’ll see. Hopefully it’s something that he will simply grow out of.  I see a lot of animals with growth deformities come through at work, and while I imagine corrective surgery would be far different in humans, it’s not something I’d like to put my young son through.

Well it’s been 5 weeks since Bean was born and it’s flown by in a haze of pooey nappies, milk and sleepless nights ! Kitty’s getting bigger and stronger now and best of all sleeping through from 7.30pm – 5 am having a quick feed and then dozing back off for another 4-5 hours ) I have to say that apart from one slightly mentally scarring poop squirting incident which involved fluro orange poop being squirted across the bed onto my jeans and t shirt that Beans been a very good little being. She’s smiling now and starting to”coo”.

Al’s back at work today after having had he last 5 weeks off to be home and I have to admit that if it was me I’d go to pieces leaving the Bean behind. I’m not daunted by being home alone with her as there’s nothing I can’t do with her strapped to me in the sling ! Kittys had a busy 5 weeks what with trips here here and everywhere visiting people, some nice afternoons out and a few trips to he local pub by the sea to help us play some pool and win some cash on the music trivia machine, not to mention being very good and letting us decorate the hallway and erect a shed. She’s very excited too as this year in July she’s coming to Latitude Festival with us for a long weekend of rocking out in the sunshine )

The postnatal brigade of midwives and the health visitor have left us pretty much to get on with it having decided that seeing as I’m not a total newbie to all this that the odd phone call to see if all’s well will suffice .This suits us after the one and only visit from the health visitor involved her sat on the settee saying the now legendary phrase in this household – “Pelvic floor exercises are so easy to do, like right now I am imagining drawing a tampon up high into my vagina”. Al’s face was a picture as his head popped up with a look of “did I just hear that correctly” and a stifled giggle from where he was sat on the table behind her. This was doubly hard for me as I already was finding it difficult not to chuckle at the somewhat frail 50 something health visitor sat before me. It was almost as embarrassing as if your mother were to enter a room and declare that your father had just given her a most satisfactory rodgering…

Right I best be off so I can chill out before Bean wakes up… and yes I know we called her Kitty but Bean has just stuck. I’m feeling my age today as Thomas my eldest is 13 today ! Happy Birthday Wombat! (note obvious history of giving children daft nicknames)

For he latest Bean photos use this link -

http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=95336&l=09606&id=807330577

Current mood: tired

So off I went on my less than merry way to the health visitor, only to find that after our last run in, (Which resulted in her apologising profusely for implying that my daughter may have a terminal condition, which of course she didn’t, and all because the skill of counting was well beyond said Health visitor.) the woman is now too scared to say anything to me at all. probably for fear of another explosion on my part. She couldn’t get me out of the office quick enough and had only nice, positive things to say. Now she could be being genuine, but my instincts tell me otherwise. So I think I will request someone else next time.

Still on the subject of the joys of parenting. Arianna is teething with gusto. There are 3 new teeth coming through and the poor child is not happy. Mind you neither is her Mummy. She cries and winges and cries and winges and cries while wingeing. (is that how you spell that?) It didn’t last long last time, so hopfully this time will be the same. She can now get up on her hands and knees and rock backwards and forwards. And she loves the ad on T.V. that goes “Yoooooooooooouuuuuuv’e got to switch” with the gospel choir thingy. Everytime it comes on she cracks up laughing. Maybe I should tape it and play it on a loop.

I have completed 3 more drawings. A series for my mum for mothers day. She liked them alot. Now it seems that she has been showing them off to friends and as a result, I may be able to get some commissions! the problem is, I’m not sure if I’m good enough yet. I have come back to drawing after a number of years. When I look at my drawings now, I often think that they still aren’t good enough. That after 10 years of drawing I should be much better. However. My Dad pointed something out to me. If I count my progress by the number of pieces I have created, instead of years I have been drawing, a much different picture emerges. I think that in total I have created approximately 20 pieces since I left school, and that may be on the generous side. (if you want this illustrated see my journal entry in deviantArt march 19th http://angelbearlina.deviantart.com/) So maybe i am a bit hard on myself. But it’s one thing drawing something for friends and family, it’s quite another to draw for someone who is paying you. I would be obliged to be good. So I don’t know if I’m ready yet. I shall have to have a think about it. Anyone have any thoughts on that? And please do not (to use my dad’s favourite phrase) blow sunshine up my ass. hmmmmmmmm…..

I think that’s all for now.

Emx

This is a form letter for complaining about a healthcare professional who has given you wrong or misleading information about breastfeeding, who has been unsupportive, or even antagonistic towards breastfeeding. I urge you to use it, or something similar, EVERY time you encounter BFing-unfriendly health professionals, because it is absolutely vital that these people be properly educated and not spouting rubbish at every available opportunity. If the medical schools can’t get the job done, we’re going to have to do it ourselves. (Please note this is UK-specific, with references to the National Health Service, etc, but could be adapted for use elsewhere.)

[complainant’s name]

[complainant’s address and telephone number]

[date]

Dear Sir or Madam [or insert name of superior/PCT here],

            I, [complainant’s name], am writing to express my concern regarding an employee of the [name of primary care trust]. [Offender’s name], who is a [health visitor/community midwife/hospital midwife/GP (delete as appropriate or fill in another title)] at [name of health care centre, surgery, or hospital] has given me inaccurate, unhelpful, and potentially damaging information regarding breastfeeding my child [name and age of complainant’s child]. I found [offender’s name]’s conduct and information to be unprofessional, and am deeply concerned at the impact that such misinformation could have on someone who is not well-informed on the subject.

            [Here, if you have time and desire to do so, you should detail what misinformation the offender badgered you with]

            For the record, the World Health Organization guidelines on breastfeeding state that:

            “Exclusive breastfeeding for the first six months of life is the recommended way of feeding infants, followed by continued breastfeeding with appropriate complementary foods for up to two years or beyond.

To enable mothers to establish and sustain exclusive breastfeeding for six months, WHO and UNICEF recommend:

-Initiation of breastfeeding within the first hour of life;

-Exclusive breastfeeding – that is, the infant only receives breastmilk without any additional food or drink, not even water;

-Breastfeeding on demand – that is, as often as the child wants, day and night;

   -No use of bottles, teats or pacifiers.”

(full content available here: http://www.who.int/child_adolescent_health/topics/prevention_care/child/nutrition/breastfeeding/en/index.html)

The NHS not only concurs with the WHO, but even provides a useful set of resources for health care professionals, to make sure that they have up-to-date information about breastfeeding and infant nutrition. These resources can be accessed here: http://www.breastfeeding.nhs.uk/en/fe/page.asp?n1=5

I am concerned that [offender’s name] does not have up-to-date information, and is giving mothers misinformation. This seems to suggest that [she/he] has not received proper training in current best practice, and is therefore not currently qualified for [her/his] role in health care.

I look forward to hearing from you about how you are going to address this problem[, and I would be happy to share more details of my interaction with [offender’s name], should you require such information for your review. (delete if you do not wish to provide further details)]

Yours sincerely,

[complainant’s name and signature]