posted/written by caroline picard

Woody Allen Woody Allen Woody Allen

An older gentleman, he came upon a fallen Redwood, collapsed and soundless in the yellow grass. The sun was hot, it stole the sound and smell from the air, except sometimes the man heard a buzzing fly land and when it landed everything was more silent than it had been before. The man studied the log, imagined its figure wearing away with rot, woodmites and termites and peculiar worms, until it wore down into dust—the shit of insects—and fed the dull earth.

Instead, the man took a cast of the tree:

He hired a team of employees and together they gathered around its stupendous girth. They raised the dead log on pedestals—sweating, the whine of the chainsaw—cutting the trunk into eight three foot cross-sections. They took elaborate photographs of each of the tree’s parts. Like a murder scene, quadrants of the surrounding area were taped off. Surrounding tree trunks bore neon pink symbols of work on their bases. Everything was documented.  Everyone wore rubber gloves.

They took a cast of its massive breadth, width, length in sections:

sealing the tree in soap, they poured wax around its parts just before nightfall and in the night the wax hardened and in the morning they cut the wax off in clean, re-sealable pieces. They sent those pieces to Japan in a very cool box.

What came back:

The tree—a new one, it resembled the original—came back without the wax, for the wax had been burned to make the new tree. The tree came in parts, the same eight three-foot cross-sections. Its parts made of wood, not Redwood but Hinoki. Its surface had been carved in a myriad of patterns, different borring strokes; the surface of the replica was carved to look like the surface of the old. This new wood blonder and clean looking, though with the self-same hollowed core of its dead predecessor.

There was a note attached to the mid-section.

Someone was asked to translate:

Once put together, this tree will last 400 years, before hitting a crisis of 100 years, during which it will crack. Thereafter it will last another 400 years before it begins to decompose.

*

Manhattan, New York, 2009: Mr. Allen finds himself sat in the corner window of a high-rise apartment—his own, (he can tell by the family photographs, framed and standing on the bookshelves, and the side table too).  He recognizes the pattern on the carpet; it looks to be Persian, red and black interlaced geometries. He remembers the smell of the place—the smell is both familiar and difficult to perceive; it must be a smell belonging to him.

Soon-yi sounds to be making coffee in the adjacent kitchen and he can hear the clattering of domestic objects as she opens and closes kitchen drawers, cabinets, the dish washer; he can hear utensils bump up against interior wooden walls. Mr. Allen conjures a flash of light pouncing on the landscape of things, sprung suddenly from the dark. He wonders if objects possess a sense of being.

It is as if I am in a dream, he thinks assuming a moment of adolescent existentialism. My actions are not entirely my own but I am more or less comfortable. He looks at his hands clasped in his lap and feels, for a moment, the texture of the corduroy underneath. Past his hands, legs, he looks at his feet in brown, waspy loafers. He isn’t wearing socks. For a moment he imagines his actors feel this way in a set and, going against better judgment, makes the disquieting attempt to peer over the bounds of his imagined consciousness—

into the dark, a mottled grey behind his eyes, either the color of his brain or simply the color of what he’ll never know—

His eyes glassy, he looks at you without seeing. “Talk to me, shout at me, so that I’ll wake up and know that I’m here with you and that certain things really are just dreams.” He is merely talking to himself, a recitation.

Truth be told, he cannot remember living in any other place. At the same time he does not remember how he came to be here.

He lifts a hand to feel his upper lip, relieved to find the moustache still in place.

*

The first opera singer ever recorded had past her prime when she was recorded. By then an old woman in her career, her voice wove through the aria like burning paper. Upon listening to the record, people of then recalled how remarkable she’d been before, as a young woman. “The best,” they told their children, smitten by nostalgia.

Children, when grown, repeated the rumor to respective children. And everyone, ever since, has believed the first opera singer recorded to be the best singer there ever was, for their memories make her so and there is no evidence to the contrary.

*

The young people aren’t any good in his movies. Terrible actors. They don’t understand. They try too much to be like him; they aren’t like him enough. They don’t listen to his direction. They impersonate rather than become. Scarlet Johansson. Jason Briggs. Christina Ricci.

Mr. Allen crosses one leg over the other, relishing contempt. Doughy and plump and taut. Ripe. Budding.

The aroma of coffee wafts into the living room.

*

The dream is one of paradise. In the dream men and women live forever, a glistening surface projected by the whirring of gears and oil and machinations run by invisible, grease-stained hands. The dream is one of desire.

*

Mr. Allen has a hand on his temple. His eyes are closed and therefore he does not see the grey day so much as he feels it. Or, discovers the feeling of it. He can picture it in his mind. The leaves are turning in the park below, across the street; he does not see these either. He knows only they are there. For a moment he imagines that the changing leaves are expressed in the sound of loose interior cutlery. He thinks of the sun as something that pounces.

And then he concentrates:

Music comes from a computer on the desk in the opposite corner of the room. It sounds like it comes from a phonograph. Concentrating on static, the overarching fuzz and pop, as bad as any radio station, he imagines the music to be broadcast from the past.

Mr. Allen presses his fingers into his eyes, pinching the lids together almost, feeling a dull pressure in the back of his head. In the darkness behind his eyes; trying desperately to imagine what she might have sounded like—this siren—when she was young. Feeling through the static, for the traces of her youth. Straining back into the past, her voice the bridge.

In a record, he believes, there is the promise of eternity.

*

Someone said LA was like a Dream Factory. He said working in the Dream Factory was pretty tiring; he was pretty tired of making dreams. He complained about the silt he was always breathing—dream silt. He hoped one day to unionize the workers.

*

In a club in Brooklyn with Soon-yi: Mr. Allen has come to the conclusion that Soon-yi’s friends, boys mostly, hide their sexuality from him. He is conscious of the shadows in the basement barroom—no windows, barely any light. Drums clatter and dash and bang as Mr. Allen is jostled occasionally by flanking, shiny strangers.

“One time in Romania I went to a bar we drank in bars that used to be dungeons they used to torture people in those bars. No I’m serious you could still see the burn marks on the sides of the brick where they used to keep lit torches while they tortured people.” Soon-yi can’t hear him and she smiles in a dreamy way watching the young boys on stage, watching the people at the club, hiding her mouth behind her hand; hiding her mouth from her friends across the room. Mr. Allen feels the shadows like a blanket. “I’ve been feeling so odd lately. I can’t explain. I don’t feel myself,” he says. “I must be getting sick. You can have my whole fortune.” Stuttering. “Did you hear? They finally arrested Polanski.” But Soon-yi does not hear because she’s dancing also, jostling up and down against the others in the room and Mr. Allen feels like an old man wearing socks.

It occurs to him that he will die childless, save for those things that he made in discrete instances; things starring himself in scenes he could control.

*

When Charles Darwin’s turtle, Harriet, died in 2006, they discovered her organs had not aged at all. It was believed that, barring disease or accident, turtles could live forever for evidence of time was not apparent on any of her interior organs.

In Hollywood there is a single mother selling serums of Harriet’s DNA on e-bay. It was manufactured abroad. Black market. It has not been tested. Some of her clients: Ashley Olson, Elizabeth Taylor, Heath Ledger, Michael Jackson etc.

*

The next band comes on stage, just after Mr. Allen looks at his watch, notes the time and wonders what time he might be able to go home—

Soon-yi talks to some of her male friends at the bar.

Mr. Allen looks around at everyone in the room and shakes his head. He looks again on stage.

The keyboardist looks exactly like him. Only younger. And shorter. Should the keyboardist step off the stage, he might stand a head shorter than Mr. Allen. Everything else about the fellow is spot on. He hears Soon-yi giggling across the room. He imagines her covering her mouth.

“I have a proposition for you,” Mr. Allen says after the show. There are candles on the bar and they cast an irregular but welcome light. “I would like to hire you. Assume my life.” They sit at the bar. His doppelganger drinks a whisky Mr. Allen has bought. “I’ll pay you very well.” Mr. Allen’s hands dance around for emphasis. He finds himself regularly touching the young man, occasionally going so far as to pinch the fellow’s shoulders now and again, testing the fellow’s firmness. The sensation is exhilarating. Mr. Allen wonders, abstractly, if he was himself the same density once.

“Why should I do that?” the young man asks. He looks amused. He wears a plaid cowboy shirt with opalescent, buttons—snaps. Tight black jeans on and converse. Sideburns and Buddy Holly glasses. He smokes. His hands are smaller than Mr. Allen’s.

“Only, you’d have to cut down your sideburns.” Mr. Allen says, worried suddenly, brow knit. He studies the youth, looking for other discrepancies. “And maybe get just a slightly different haircut. I understand the times are different, but at least for the transition period, you’ll need to adopt a little more of my style.” With a sudden clarity of thought, Mr. Allen smiles, relived. “Oh! I know. You’ll have to go away for a while. I’ll send out a press release. I’ll say I’m going abroad. You go abroad too. We can meet in another part of the world, somewhere where no one will know who we are. Then I can teach you how to be me. Then you can come back to America. It’s very simple, really. We could even make movies abroad. When you, ‘I’” he smiles and winks, “come back, no one will ever know the difference.” The young man shakes his head. He seems not to understand. “This has to be good.” Mr. Allen continues. “I’ll pay you an exorbitant amount of money—where do you work? Retail?”

“Record store.”

“Right. Good. Well. You’re rich. Did you think it would be this easy?”

*

In the end:

After the first recording of the opera singer, but before the death of Harriet, an anthropologist and a sociologist made a movie with a cameraman and they traipsed around Paris and Saint-Tropez playing tag with a camera. The interviewee became the interviewer, each time asking, “Are you happy?”

No one was famous.

Yesterday, i watched inglorious basterds at our home. another great movie by quentin tarantino! with lots of time staying at home, and with the discomfort of cough and body ache (actually ubos sa hawak ug taas sa lubot, unsay english ani nga body part? harhar!), i watched again the last movie of heath ledger, “Dark Knight”. Some of the lines from Joker that I can still remember are: “If you are good of something, do not give it for free”, and “Destroy an established order, and everything will be in chaos”. Grrrrr! Joker is a joke.

THIS PORTRAIT IS COURTESY OF THE SUN “THE BEST IN THE U.K FOR NEWS, SPORTS, CELEBRITIES & TV”  <—- I WOULD ADD MUSIC AND GOSSIP IN THERE, BUT I AM UNFORTUNATELY NOT EMPLOYED BY THE SUN (YET);)  THIS STARTED OFF AS A SHORT BLOG ABOUT LEO’S LATEST GIRLFRIEND AND HOW HOT SHE WAS AND I IMMEDIATELY WENT OFF ON A RANT ABOUT HEATH LEDGER BEING THE BEST ACTOR OF MY GENERATION.. PLEASE CHECK IT OUT IF YOUR FELLING CHEEKY~

DAMN, I WISH I WAS BRITISH = I GUARANTEE THAT I WOULD BE A SUCCESSFUL MUSICIAN OVER THERE BECAUSE THEY APPRECIATE ART AND MUSIC THAT TAKES RISKS AND BREAKS MOLDS AND DOESN’T FOLLOW ANY TYPE OF FORMULA AND I BELIEVE I DO THAT BETTER THAN ANY AMERICAN ARTIST/MUSICIAN THAT ISN’T SIGNED.. IN MY NEXT POST, I WILL DELVE FURTHER INTO WHAT I MEAN.. CHEERS~ LIKE ELLIOTT SMITH WOULD SAY:  xo

THANK YOU TO MOONDOG, I JUST SAW A COUPLE OF PICTURES OF LEO DiCAPRiO’s NEW GIRLFRIEND. HE IS SO DAMN LUCKY. FIRST OFF, HE IS ONE OF THE BEST ACTORS OF HIS GENERATION, ESPECIALLY SINCE THE UNFORTUNATE PASSING OF HEATH LEDGER WHO I BELIEVE WAS ON HIS WAY TO BEING THE GREATEST OF MY GEN~ MAN, IT STILL FN PISSES ME OFF THAT HE DIED BEING STUPID, I MEAN A LOT OF US HAVE EXPERIMENTED WITH SHIT AND EVEN TAKEN IT TOO FAR FROM TIME TO TIME, BUT FROM WHAT I UNDERSTAND OF HIS PILL INTAKE, IT WAS UNREAL & HIS DOCTOR’S SHOULD BE PUT IN JAIL.. WELL, I GUESS WHEN YOUR AS RICH & POWERFUL AS PEOPLE LIKE HIM, YOU CAN & WILL GET WHATEVER YOU WANT. IT JUST SUCKS, SO MUCH TO LIVE FOR.. A BABY GIRL.. THE BIGGEST MOVIE OF ALL TIME THAT HE NEVER EVEN GOT TO SEE.. AN OSCAR FOR HIS AMAZING PERFORMANCE IN A “SUMMER BLOCKBUSTER” THAT NEVER GET NOMINATED FOR OSCARS, LET ALONE WIN THEM. IT JUST PISSES ME OFF.. HE HAD JUST FINISHED A VIDEO FOR “KING RAT” BY MODEST MOUSE & NOT ONLY IS IT AMAZING, BUT IT STANDS FOR SOMETHING AND JUST LIKE THE GREAT ISAAC BROCK WOULD DO, HE GAVE ALL PROCEEDS FROM THE VIDEO TO A CHARITY PROTECTING WHALES FROM THE SCUMBAGS THAT HUNT THEM~

I AM SURE THAT THESE PICTURES WOULD PUT A SMILE ON MR. LEDGERS FACE. HE OBVIOUSLY APPRECIATED BEAUTY AND THIS IS DEFINITELY A FORM OF IT. I HAVE HAD THE AMAZING OPPORTUNITY TO MEET ISAAC BROCK FROM MODEST MOUSE & UGLY CASANOVA AND EVEN THOUGH HE HAS PLATINUM SELLING RECORDS HAS HIT #1 ON THE BILLBOARD CHARTS WITH  “WE WERE DEAD BEFORE THE SHIP EVEN SANK,” HE IS MORE HUMBLE AND DOWN TO EARTH THAN ALOT OF MUSICIANS I MET THAT WERE LITERALLY 3RD & 4TH GUITARISTS ON AN ARTISTS SIDE PROJECT.. ANYWAYS, ANY FRIEND OF ISAAC BROCK (HEATH LEDGER BEING ONE OF THEM) MUST HAVE BEEN A COOL ASS MOTHERF#CKER~

READ A COOL ARTICLE ON VH1 ORIGINALLY WRITTEN BY MTV. AREN’T THEY BOTH OWNED BY THE SAME FILTHY RICH GUY??!!

It’s good enough for OneSixNine!  We’re not going to Capeside, MA, which should be obvious to anyone who understands how OneSixNine works… we’re Cheshire-bound!  Hopefully we’ll find some cute next-door-neighbor who is secretly pining for us and have several years of back and forth over dating or not dating, only to decide to (SPOILER ALERT!) settle down with Joshua Jackson (pre-Fringe) and say a tragic farewell to our resident bad-girl-gone-good as her life comes to a shocking end (before she marries Heath Ledger, whose life ALSO came to a tragic end… THE CURSE OF DAWSON’S CREEK?!)

The Soon-to-be-Former Mr & Mrs Van Der Beek

Anyways, JVB filed for divorce TWO days ago, making our voyage to his hometown very timely.  Not to mention that he’s 32 and did a guest stint on How I Met Your Mother in 2008, so this will be a perfect set-up for Elle.  I’m putting my wingwoman skills to the test, for all you who doubted me!  (I’m looking at you, Wally East.)

Cinéfilos de plantão: Acontecerá no Rio de Janeiro do dia 26/11 até 13/12, o maior festival de cinema a céu aberto do mundo.

O mega-telão estará montado no Jockey Club Brasileiro, na cidade maravilhosa. Os ingressos estão acessíveis. Para mais informações, acessem:

http://www.valeopenair.com.br/

O evento contará com apresentações de alguns nomes da música antes de cada sessão. Filmes como: O Mundo Imaginário do Dr. Parnassus (último de Heath Ledger), O Fantástico Sr. Raposo, Atividade Paranormal e Zumbilândia, são alguns dos longas que serão exibidos.

Para quem quer ver cinema de um jeito diferente, uma tela gigante junto de uma bela paisagem…vai divertir-se bastante.

Guilherme Jr.

Quiet morning…up way too early waiting for the next snow report in the morning to confirm there’s another foot or two of fresh snow.  I am losing count but the opening week has gone something like this: Saturday 70cm, Sunday 70cm, Monday 30cm, Tuesday 40cm, Wednesday 56cm and now Thursday another 53cm, Friday don’t remember…you do the math…it’s deep!  Can’t sleep…

Heard a gentle ‘hwump’ the other morning and thought for a moment it was an avi bomb echoing down the valley but looked out to see a small dark bird twitching on its side in my son’s sled beneath the window, wings folded tight to her chest, struggling to catch her breath and then still.  My wife and I watched silent, I turned to her and shook my head with my eyes and we finished getting our little boy ready for school.  Later that morning I returned, picked up the motionless little body and took her to a hollow in the rocky bank next to our home after holding her long enough to be certain she was not coming back.

I am reverent in these early days in the snow and of our friends who are not here to laugh and smile and tell us tales of just how deep it was or about the stupid trick they pulled or line they skied.  Only a week after Remembrance day and here we are heading up the mountains with that same anticipation we had when we were kids and this year (once again) there are fewer returning after their lives were cut short so suddenly…but if we listen closely between the turns and windswept lines we will hear their voices beneath the snow.

The first 70cm day was epic (what else do you call those days?)…dropping into the same lines I had just skied the last two days that had vanished.  The next 70cm day was beyond…literally too deep to turn on any of the terrain that was open and the usual trees and rocks my size were gone beneath the surface, the cliffs on top of Rat Fink, gone in two days…enough, stop thinking…sleep.

In the dream this opening week in Whistler has become, each day repeats like it did for Bill Murray in, ‘Ground Hog Day’…I get off the gondi goggles, gloves and zips all set, click the buckles on my boots and slide unnoticed past the crowds with that silent nod that says ‘Here we go…’ (aka ‘I’m local, trust me, you don’t want to follow me’)…but more than that it says, ‘I’m home’.  I slide past Green, right, a little left of right, nearly out of sight and slip between the markers without a second thought…like slipping into my favorite pair of jeans ‘that fit like  an old lover come back for more’ (Max Blagg).  A short hike over the roll, west wind at my back pushing, driving me to that bottomless familiar escape into the white…and beneath the snow echo the ageless muses of younger days like the soundtrack of my life.

The low base of “Love me two times…” sinks in and the voice of Jim Morrison reciting the Graveyard Poems of a forgotten era before my time…and, “the voices of singing women are calling from the far shore and they are saying, forget the night and live with us in forests of azure.  Meagre food or souls forgot.”  The constant sting of the wind numbs and the blur of white that suddenly surrounds is calling me home. ‘A little more right son, you know the way.’  Alone, together, like an old friend pouring one more drink for the drive home.  Punch drunk love-sick ramblings…like it’s the first time all over again. 

Higher right, roll, straight line, wind lip…pass a huge bomb hole the size of my body with a moments glance that snaps me back, awake.  No results from the blast, just a perfect round hole like a meteor evaporated on impact and left nothing to show but the crater…safe for now, game on, here we go.  There’s a small group of struggling searchers to my right too close to the tree line, too flat over there for today, and I instinctively cut left, air between the trees, drop weightless, land, and drop again when the ghostly cushion beneath the K2 Kahuna’s says, “yes, now”.  I run straight exhaling through the chest deep compression while the group stands still in time watching as the flash of red disappears into the glade at the bottom of the second pitch. Pine branches loaded with snow brush by and windows between the heavy trunks appear from my dreams and open one after another and I’m certain they close behind me as I pass…but I can’t look back.  I am ‘one’ with the forest, nearing unconsciousness, like Bruce Lee and, “the art of fighting without fighting…it is like a finger pointing to the moon.  Do not focus on the finger or you will miss all the heavenly brilliance.”  I let go, I release the inner turmoil to the wind and deny the inevitable collision of man and earth and focus beyond the trees, beyond the forest, until the voice fades and I am conscious again for a moment on top of a giant log.  I slide up and drop over the hollow gap below and find the muses waiting on the other side.

Five minutes to midnight or 3:28am, I don’t know which, and I am there throughout time with all the dead poets, friends and heroes who left before their time…James Dean, Jim Morrison, Bruce Lee, Trevor Peterson, Craig Kelly, Alex Loewe, Goran Kropp, Denis Fontaine, Heath Ledger, Shane McConkey…my cousin David at 16…and more.  In a world of exceptional people there are precious few who truly inspire and as they fall, each one in turn reminds me of the next.  It is so sad to say, ‘in turn’, like it was meant to be, by design.  The names and voices call us from the snow, and at home, far from the empty dreams we walk the halls as years pass and find our wives asleep and little boys and girls who woke up and crawled into our beds after a bad dream.  It is an all too true reminder that we take them with us when we do these things.  Like Shane said, there was a time when I too wrote I might never see 30 or 40 and yet here I am with their voices.

I imagine I see in those stolen moments what they saw and taste ‘the search’ at the tip of my tongue.  Unless you have fallen from a plane (a perfectly good one) and touched that awakening moment that commands you alive, or better commands that you question your life in a flash of white not knowing if you will surface from a wave or be forever one with the white light of an avalanche or slide down the pavement or dirt until the friction of the impact and the bone crushing clash of gravity and normal force make you stop breathing, you can’t imagine what they felt the instant before the inevitable.  It is like they say, your life flashes past in the blink of an eye, no, faster, and I mean your whole life before and beyond the chaos of disaster…the loves, the triumphs, the failures, the regrets, loved ones laughing, the dreams of your own seemingly inevitable funeral, that first ride on the Honda 50 motorcycle that had you hooked on speed, the children you have yet to hold, the dream of growing old with the one you love…all time and place and spirit combine and before you are lost, you are whole, and you know the truth in that fleeting moment before death and then, god willing, you are alive, thanking god (or whatever other divinity  you denied you implore the moment before) that you are alive.

My heart races…and then, at the open light at the end of the glade I slide to a stop and breathe…it’s nearly morning now.  I look up at the clock, check for daylight through the blinds, see the new day has arrived, and know if I listen closely the voices will be with me.

Dir: Terry Gilliam, 2009

The Imaginarium is a shoddy prop mirror, a cardboard frame containing two sheets of reflective plastic which form a kind of curtain. But when you step through the mirror, you are transported to a wondrous realm where your imagination is unchained and allowed to run riot. It could be seen as a metaphor for Terry Gilliam’s films. They always appear gritty and lived-in, lacking that Hollywood sheen. But if you allow yourself to step into the film, you can be rewarded with great depths of imagination. In The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus, however, we seem to looking at the mirror from the other side. On the surface it’s all polish, that Hollywood sheen. And if you step through, you’ll be lucky to find anything at all.

The titular Doctor (Christopher Plummer) leads a theatre troupe, consisting of his daughter Valentina (Lily Cole), dwarf Percy (Verne Troyer) and leading man Anton (Andrew Garfield), around London in their combination stage/gypsy caravan. In alleyways, outside nightclubs, even in a Homebase car park, they invite members of the public to step through the mirror into their own imagination. It transpires that this is all part of a competition between Parnassus and the devil (also known as Mr. Nick, played by Tom Waits). Parnassus thinks he can save people’s souls through the power of imagination, while the devil thinks he can ensnare them through their vices.

There’s another, more sinister side to the competition. As Anton tells the audience at the beginning of each performance, Parnassus is thousands of years old. He achieved everlasting life through a bargain with the devil. In exchange for immortality, any children Parnassus begets will belong to Mr. Nick once they reach sixteen. Valentina’s sixteenth birthday is fast approaching, and in an attempt to save her, Parnassus enters another deal with the devil. The first to claim five souls wins, and the winner decides Valentina’s fate.

Much of the buzz surrounding The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus has centred around Heath Ledger’s performance as Tony, it being his last before his tragic death. Ledger brings a certain oily charisma to the apparent charity worker the troupe finds hanging under a bridge. Unfortunately, Ledger died before completing principal photography. In a bit of creative problem solving, Gilliam cast three other actors as Tony. Each seems to personify a different aspect of Tony’s character as he steps through the mirror: Johnny Depp is the charisma; Jude Law the selfishness; and Colin Farrell the womanising.

It’s an interesting idea, and works well within the film’s internal logic. But each of the three actors portraying a single trait, and when compared to Ledger’s more nuanced performance, they all come out as one-dimensional and uninteresting. This is perhaps the film’s biggest problem: Ledger’s death and the casting of Depp, Law and Farrell has given the character of Tony an almost mystical air. The problem is, Tony isn’t a particularly extraordinary character, and after the tour de force that was Ledger’s Joker in The Dark Knight, audiences may come away disappointed.

The rest of the cast doesn’t fare much better. While Christopher Plummer effectively combines nobility with dejection to give a surprisingly sympathetic performance, and Andrew Garfield’s easy charm works well against Ledger’s smarm, Tom Waits’ phoned-in performance does not impress, and Verne Troyer does dwarfs a disservice by displaying no acting ability whatsoever.

The same unevenness comes through in the film’s visuals. At times it looks stunning. A tracking shot up a decaying, quasi-Buddhist temple, for instance, or a giant stone bust of Parnassus bursting up from the ground. But, disappointingly for a Terry Gilliam film, these moments are rare. Most of the time the production design is bland and uninspired. It’s not bad; it just lacks Gilliam’s visual wit. Maybe it’s the overreliance on CGI; Gilliam is not a director who works well with computers. The charm of his earlier work, such as Jabberwocky or Time Bandits, came from the physically constructed sets and props. They gave the films soul. And soul is exactly what CGI has denied Gilliam’s latest.

Thematically, too, The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus is a mess. Gilliam and co-writer Charles McKeown want to say something profound about human nature, but never quite get round to it. At one point it seems the film is about the importance of stories. Or is it about the power of the imagination? Or maybe redemption? Unfortunately, it’s impossible to tell, as each potential theme gets buried underneath a series of chaotic set pieces. Ultimately, the film lacks the direction of Gilliam’s early work. Even The Adventures of Baron Munchausen, another film fit to burst with elaborate set pieces, was tied together by a singular purpose.

In some ways, The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus treads the same ground as Neil Gaiman’s Sandman comic series. Both deal with the power of stories and the imagination, set against the backdrop of the real world and various fantastical realms. But, while Gaiman weaved a dense narrative with dazzling artwork and rich characterisation, Gilliam has constructed a thin veneer of visual sparkle with little underneath. All we can do is wait until he steps through to the other side of the mirror.

Dr. Parnassus (Christopher Plummer) besitzt die außergewöhnliche Gabe, Menschen in wundervolle Fantasiewelten zu entführen. Zusammen mit seinem Wandertheater lädt er das Publikum ein, mittels eines magischen Spiegels dem banalen Alltag zu entfliehen und in ein Universum unbegrenzter Fantasien einzutreten. Dr. Parnassus wird jedoch von einem dunklen Geheimnis verfolgt. Für Unsterblichkeit und ewige Jugend hat der unermüdliche Spieler einen Pakt mit dem Teufel in Gestalt von Mr. Nick (Tom Waits) abgeschlossen. Dr. Parnassus‘ hinreißende Tochter Valentina (Lily Cole) ist dafür an ihrem 16. Geburtstag Mr. Nick als Gegenleistung versprochen. Nun, da dieser Tag näher rückt und Valentina sich in den charmanten Außenseiter Tony (Heath Ledger) verliebt hat, versucht Dr. Parnassus verzweifelt, seine Tochter vor diesem Schicksal zu bewahren. Die Theatertruppe um Dr. Parnassus macht sich deshalb zu einer aufregenden Reise gegen die Zeit auf – in eine surreale und berauschende Welt voller Wunder und Verlockungen.

Nach der „Monty-Python“-Kultreihe, „12 Monkeys“ und „Brothers Grimm“ stellt Regisseur Terry Gilliam ein modernes, mitreißendes Märchen mit einem beeindruckenden, internationalen Cast vor. Nach dem tragischen Tod von Hauptdarsteller Heath Ledger während der Dreharbeiten vervollständigen seine Freunde Johnny Depp, Jude Law und Colin Farrell die facettenreiche Figur des Tony.

Filmstart: 07. Januar 2010

(Bild und Textquelle: http://concorde-film.medianetworx.de)

When Heath Ledger died last year, he hadn’t finished making Terry Gilliam’s film “The Imaginarium of Dr, Parnassus” leaving Gilliam with an incomplete project and a dead schedule.

Gilliam revealed Ledger improvised “half” of his comedic dialogue on set. “I really felt ‘We got a tiger by the tail here! I thought here’s somebody with the kind of energy I had when I was young.” When Ledger died in the midst of production, the role was recast to have Johnny Depp, Jude Law, and Colin Farrell portray “physically transformed versions” of the character.

And Tom Waits plays the Devil!

Here’s a trailer:

Took me a while to get todays list together I drank way too much Great Lakes Christmas Ale last night and have been sleeping most of the day. Anyway here are MY top five comic book movie fight scenes. It was a hard list to compile since there are so many good ones but these are my top five. What are yours?

Number Five: The Dark Knight: BatPod vs. Truck
This could have been the whole movie and I would have been just as happy.

Number 4: Sin City: Marv’s Story
Marv’s whole story is like a big long terrific fight scene.

Number Three: X-men 2: Nightcrawler at the Whitehouse
This scene is just down right amazing.

Number Two: Superman 2 Fight in Metropolis
This is the first fight scene of its kind and it still holds up in my opinion.

Number One: Spider-Man 2 Train Fight
This fight reminds me of what it felt like to read comics as a kid.

Nell’annuncio ufficiale, la Mattel giustifica le nuove scelte a proposito della serie Movie Masters di “The Dark Knight” dicendo che sono dettate da vendite particolarmente soddisfacenti. Difficile crederci. Basti pensare che la prima delle action figures uscita in esclusiva sul sito Mattycollector.com cioè Joker versione rapina in banca (Joker as Gotham City thug, foto a sinistra) oggi, a più di un mese dal lancio, è ancora disponibile e non sold out (i personaggi di altre serie, come ad esempio i MOTU Classics di He-Man & company, vanno sold out in pochi giorni, spesso anche in un solo giorno)! Le notizie sono due:

- le prossime action figures saranno vendute a 15 dollari e non a 20 dollari;

- a partire dalla primavera 2010 le action figures, una volta uscite su Mattycollector.com, saranno disponibili anche nei negozi americani della catena Toys “R” Us!

Perciò, Joker versione rapina in banca rimarrà l’unica esclusiva di Matty. Il fatto che le action figures avranno un mercato alternativo al sito Mattycollector.com rende auspicabile e molto possibile un calo dei prezzi e un fiorire delle occasioni su ebay. Le action figures usciranno su Mattycollector con cadenza mensile a partire dal 15 Dicembre. Ecco il calendario (suscettibile di modificazioni):

- 15 Dicembre: Survival Suit Bruce Wayne
- 15 Gennaio: Harvey Dent
- 15 Febbraio: The Joker with Missile Launcher
- 15 Marzo: Scarecrow
- April 15: Batman (Night Vision)
- 17 Maggio: Two-Face

[Fonte ToyNewsInternational]

“I love you babyyyy… La la la la la…” ♪ ♫

Hi pessoas !!!
Cá estoy yo dinovo, como prometido ontem…

E é com muitoooooo prazer, que hoje vou fazer a analise desse filme que foi um marco pra mim na epoca que eu vi, e continua valendo muito até hoje. E digo isso porque ele passou na segunda-feria na Sessão da Tarde, e caiu como uma luva dinovo, pois era justo o filme que eu precisava ver pra “refletir” um pouco (Sou quase um espelho, de tanto que reflito !!! kkkkkkk xD).
Bom, a principio pode parecer apenas mais uma das trilhões de comédias adolescente e romanticas que tempor ai, maaaaaaaas, não é !!! Essa tem uma “essência” diferente !!!

Então sem mais “bla bla blas”, vamos para a analise do filme “10 COISAS QUE EU ODEIO EM VOCÊ”:

Dessa vez, vou tentar (Eu disse tentar… porque num sei se vou cosneguir! rs) resumir mais e encurtar a história do filme, porque quero me apegar mais nos detalhes, nas cenas interessantes e nas lições que tirei do filme.

Antes de mais nada, devo informar que o filme é baseado na obra “A megera domada”, de Shakespeare.
Entonces, a história começa mais ou menos assim… o Cameron é o aluno novo que chega na escola e talz, e vai conhecer a escola sendo guiado pelo Michael (uma espécie de fracassado e não popular da escola).
E nisso o Cameron se depara com a Bianca e fica gamadão, o Michael fala mal dela, e diz que ela é uma mimada que nã ose importa com os outros e tirada e talz, mas o Cameron continuou gamadão nela e disse que tinha algo mais nela. Logo depois ele ve o Joey, que o Michael diz pra ele que é o tiradão da escola, o popular, e que já pegou tudo quanto é garota. E em seguida, o Michael quase eh atropelado pela Kat (Que é a principal da história) e diz para o Cameron que ela é a irmã anti-social e megera da Bianca.

Apresentado quase todos os personagens (Só falta + um, que é o outro principal), vamos ao “enredo” em si.

A história vai se resumir basicamente no seguinte: o Cameron descobre que a Bianca só pode sair com garotos e namorar, se a irmã dela Kat fizer o mesmo também (Já que o pai conhece bem a filha que tem, e acha essa hipotese totalmente remota). Ninguemmmm, nas escola topa sair com a Kat, pela fama que ela tem. Mas, bingooooo… eis que ele(Cameron) ajudado pelo Michael acham o cara perfeito, Patrick Verona.

E dai você me pergunta, porque ele é o cara certo ?!
Justo por ele ter a mesma fama da Kat, e lendas como ele ter passado 1 ano na prisão, de não ter mais o fígado e coisas desse tipow !!! kkkkkkkkkkkk

Agora falta ao Cameron grana pra convencer ele a sair com ela, e ai o Michael tem a brilhante idéia de usar o Joey como “laranja”, jah que o mesmo(Joey) quer dar uns pegas na Bianca. Então o Michael chega da essa idéia pro Joey, falando que achou o cara certo. Ai o Joey faz a proposta pro Verona, que acaba aceitando e cobra uma certa quantia de grana e talz.

E nisso começa a saga das tentativas de conquista do Verona em cima da Kat, enquanto o Cameron tenta conquistar a Bianca, que a principio caiu na labia do Joey e só quer saber dele.

Depois de muita coisaaaa ter acontecido, pulamos logo pro dia do baile… que a Kat vai com o Verona pra Bianca poder ir com o Cameron(Que a essa altura já ganhou ela do Joey). Só que la no baile as coisas saem errado, porque o Joey vendo que perdeu a Bianca pro Cameron, vai tirar satisfação com o Verona… dizendo que pagou a ele pra sair com a Kat, prapoder ficar com a Bianca, e não pro Cameron ficar.

E aiiii, a Kat ouve tudo… e descobriu a verdade e saiu de lá chorando !!! Ohhh, tadeenhaaaaaaaa…

Ai no outro dia, na aula… ela se oferece pra recitar um poema que era dever de casa. Ela recita um poema tão bunitcheeeeeeeeeen, e acaba chorando no final e sai correndo da sala. + como o Verona realmente gostava dela, e no decorrer do filme ele se demonstra um cara super gente boa, o contrario do que as pessoas pensavam. Então…

Depois da aula, a Kat vai até o carro dela e encontra uma guitarra…
O Verona aparece, e praticamente se declara pra ela…e os 2 se beijam !!! Que lindoooooooooooooo…. E FIM !!!

*DA ESQUERDA PRA DIREITA: Amiga da Kat, Michael, Amiga da Bianca, Joey, Kat, Verona, Bianca, Cameron.

PARTES E COISAS ENGRAÇADAS DO FILME:

▬ Logo no inicio quando o Michael vai desviar de um carro com a moto, e cai dum barranco com a moto e sai rolando !!! kkkkkkkkkkk
▬ Quando o Cameron vai tentar fazer a primeira abordagem no Verona, e o Verona pega furadeira e faz um buraco no livro dele(Cameron)!!!
▬ Quando o Michael vai sugerir a idéia(de pagar o Verona pra sair com a Kat) pro Joey, e o Joey desenha um pênis na cara dele (Michael) !!! kkkkkkk
▬ Quando o Cameron e o Michael vão até o bar pra falar com o Verona, ai o pessual jogando sinuca e talz. Ai o cara vai dar uma tacada pra matar a bola oito que tah na boca, ai o Michael passa e pega a bola na mão e diz: “O que legal!” na maior e inocencia, ai o cara erra a tacada e perde a aposta !!! kkkkkkkkk (Eu ri, porque realmente existe gente avuada assim!!!)
▬ Nessa mesma parte do bar, quando eles tão contando pro Verona das coisas que ela gosta e as coisas que ela odeia. Ai o Cameron vira pra ele e diz: “E tem mais um problema, ela gosta de cara bonitos!”. Ai fica aquele silencio, o Verona faz akela kara, e fala: “Você ta querendo dizer que eu não sou bonito ?!” kkkkkkkkkkkkk
Ai eles começam a gaguejar e dizem: Não, não…claro que é… bonitão, bem apessoado, e bla bla bla !!!” HASUDIHASIUhsiu  xD
▬ Quando a Bianca ta na aula de arco e flecha, e o Joey vem falar com ela. Ai, ela distraida acerta uma flecha na bunda do professor !!! kkkkkkkkkk
▬ O professor deles, que um negão…que começa a recitar Shakespeare em forma de Rap. Ai tem 2 branquelos tirados a reggaeros que se acham negros e se amarram !!! kkkkkkkkk
▬ Quando o Verona vai atrás da Kat num show, ai lá ele vira pra ela e fala: “Eu nunca tinha reparado direito, + até que você é sexy”. Só que ele fala isso quando tinha acabado a musica e todo mundo tinha ficado em silencio !!! kkkkkkkkk
▬ Quando o Verona é pego pelos guardinhas, depois de ter cantando na arquibancada, ai cosnegue se soltar….e dá um tapinha na bunda do guardinha !!! xD

PARTES E COISAS “BUNITCHEENHAS” DO FILME:

▬ Quando o Verona e Kat, “brincam” no Paintball e depois se beijam !!! Que gracinhaaaaaaa !!!
▬ Quando o Cameron da carona de volta pra casa pra Bianca(Puto da vida porque ela deixou ele de lado pra ficar andando com o Joey na festa), e ele vira e fala que só porque ela é Linda, ela não pode tratar as pessoas de qualquer jeito e usar, sem se importar. Ai ela vai e beija ele !!! Que bunitcheeeeeen !!!
▬ Quando o Verona leva a banda que ela mais gosta pra tocar no baile de formatura, e ela ve e se amarra. Ai ele disse que tinha cobrado um favor do pessual da banda !!! Ai a vocalista vem até perto dos 2 cantando.
▬ Quando o Verona canta “I Love you Baby” pra ela, das arquibancadas enquanto ela treinava futebol. Que linduuuuuuuuuu… um dia eu vou fazer issu ainda !!! kkkkkkkkkkkkkkk
▬ Quando a Kat lê o poema na sala de aula e sai correndo chorando depois.
▬ E no grande final, quando ela ve a guitarra no carro e ele aparece logo depois. E ele diz que tava com dinheiro sobrando, por isso comprou. É porque tinha um idiota que tinha pagado uma grana boa a ele pra sair com uma garota incrivel, só que ele estragou tudo, porque acabou se apaixonando.
Que lindoooooooooooooooooooo !!! Na boa, se eu sou mulher…eu dava pro cara ali na hora, no carro !!! kkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk (Sorte que eu num sou mulher !!! xD)

LIÇÕES QUE EU TIREI DO FILME:

▬ As vezes basta aparecer um cara gente boa pra falar umas verdades e abrir os olhos da menina linda, metida e que não se importa muito com os outros… pra ela cair na real, e passar a ser gente boa também e dar valor as coisas e pessoas certas !!!
▬ Não é todo dia que se encontra uma garota que mostra os peitos pro professor pra te livrar da sala do castigo !!! Se encontrar uma dessas, não deixe escapar !!! kkkkkkkkkkkk
▬ Os “bonzinhos” quando tem coragem, e atitude… também podem se dar bem com a mulherada !!!
▬ Sempre tem uma sandalhia prum pé descalço por ai em algum lugar !!! (No caso do Michael com a amiga da Kat, que os 2 são meio esquisitos e muito fãs de Shakespeare).
▬ No fim das contas, apostas podem ser lucrativas ao cubo !!! É por isso que eu adorooooooo apostar !!! (Menus isso que vocês tão pensando, porque uma vez eu me arrisquei a apostar e quase perdi !!! ¬¬)
▬ Se a menina valesse a pena, eu também cantaria “I Love you Baby” da arquibancanda !!! (E se eu tivesse tomado umas 3 caxaças antes !!! kkkkkkkkkk)
▬ Sou muito parecido com o Verona e a Kat (personalidade), por isso me indentifico com o filme.
▬ É melhor e mais facil desagradar e decepcionar no começo, pra poder criar uma barreira e ficar mais facil se defender e controlar a situação depois !!!
▬ Ao mesmo tempo, se há a barreira…. é porque talvez deve ter algo muito valioso depois !!! Então as vezes vale a pena insistir e correr o risco !!!
▬ Se eu encontrar uma menina igual a Kat, eu me apaixono perdidamenteeeeeeeeee !!! kkkkkkkkkkkkkkk (Ops, me entreguei !!! xD)

Agora vamos aos “EXTRAS”:

Video da música principal do filme, com algumas cenas do mesmo.

Pra quem quiser acompanhar, letra da música AQUI e tradução AQUI.

No proximo video, o Verona(Heath Ledger) cantando “I Love you Baby” !!!

Apostoooooo que ela melou a calcinhaaaa !!! kkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk xD

Agora a Kat recitando o Poema.

Que linduuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu !!! Que bunitcheennnnnnnnnnnnn !!! Ele também deve ter melado a cueca !!! xD

E agoraaaaaaaaa… pra não dizerem que não teve Humor nesse post, ou pra poder igualar a balança do Amor com Humor… um video do mesmo poema sendo recitado, só que foi filmado(filmando a TV) por uma menina, assistindo o filme em casa com o namorado(provavelmente).

Kkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk !!! Rachei de rir… uma hora parece que a menina tá imitando um cachorro, outra hora parecem gemidos sexuais !!! UISADHIUSDAHIUSADUSAIHIUSA…

Entonce é isso pessoas !!! Assim encerro essa analise…e me sinto com a sensação de missão cumprida, porque realmente estava devendo um post decente e bem “trabalhado” como esse !!!
Espero ter conseguido compensar um pouco a marcha lenta que anda o Blog, e bom… comentem né ?!
A proposito, colaborem também lembrando de cenas, coisas engraçadas, ou lições que tiraram do filme !!!

E agora encerro este post com um “Ownnnnnn” !!! kkkkkkkkkkkkk xD
Fuiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii-me !!!

So we took a look at the characters of The Road. This got me thinking:

I was blown away by Viggo Mortensen’s performance in The Road, but I found myself asking, what other great performances impacted me and our readers?

Maybe it was Heath Ledger’s haunting portrayal of The Joker, the classic performance of James Dean in Rebel Without a Cause, or Kate Winslet in Titanic.

Whatever it is,

What do you think are the greatest performances of all time?

Comment below.

LINDSAY LOHAN was secretly dating Heath Ledger before he died according to her mum – I hope this is not a ploy for some cheap publicity.
Dina Lohan revealed in a leaked phone call to her ex-husband Michael last year that their daughter was dating Heath who died from an accidental drug overdose in January 2008.
Dina said: “Lindsay was dating Heath when he died.
“I know ’cause I would drop her off and they were friends – they were very, very close.”
Dina said the death affected Lindsay badly and is now worried she is going to end up the same way.

I thought he was dating one of The Olsens before he died? Answers in a postcard please.

A LOT!  The first lesson we can learn is that wealth and fame does not guarantee good estate planning.  Let’s look at two recent examples.

Anna Nicole Smith:  Her estate plan consisted of a Will.  A Will is a legal document which leaves instructions to the Probate Court detailing how one’s estate should be administered and distributed.  The common complaints about probate are that the process is very time consuming (lasting approximately 1 to 1.5 years), expensive (about 5% of the value of the estate), and public (as evidenced by all the media attention).  In order to avoid the Probate Process, it is common to establish a Revocable Living Trust as the basis for an estate plan in lieu of a Will.  Smith’s Will did in fact create a trust but not until after it had been administered though the Will.  This type of planning (referred to as a testamentary trust) seems like a waste of time and resources.  Given Smith’s high profile and the likelihood that there would be some sort of contest (conflict) involved in the case, a public forum for administering the estate proved to be a very bad idea.

Heath Ledger:  While Ledger’s Will was ultimately handled in Australia, his native country, there is a very valuable lesson to be learned from his case as well.  It became well publicized that his daughter Matilda was not named or provided for in the document.  Because Matilda was not specifically named as a beneficiary, whether or not she will be provided for will depend on defaults provided under the governing law.  While this can seem shocking, it is actually very common for important changes in one’s life to be overlooked in their estate plan.  This unfortunate error is very common.  In fact, lack of updating is one of the biggest and most common mistakes I see in reviewing estate plans.   Anna Nicole Smith’s Will also failed to name or specifically provide for her youngest child because of lack of updating.

What’s the lesson to be learned? While we may not all be celebrities, we do all have people we care enough about to want to protect and provide for.  Taking the time to establish and maintain a good estate planning does not require fame or wealth nor does having them guarantee that good planning has been done for you.  Please take the time to work with an experienced professional to ensure that what you do have is protected for those you care about.

Sorry, Ronald McDonald’s out sick today. How may I help you?

(Heath Ledger)

In terms of scariness, it’s a toss up.

Picture by: dunno source Caption by: Lucy via Our LOL Builder

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Yay for this week’s movie blog!
The Men Who Stare At Goats

This comedy is based on a non-fiction novel written by Jon Ronson about a reporter who stumbles upon a secret branch of the military that employs paranormal powers in their missions.

It stars George Clooney, Ewan McGregor, Kevin Spacey and several other big names. However, with the reviews I have read, you either think it’s a blah movie, or you think it’s awesome. Honestly, anytime that Ewan is in something, I AM DOWN!!

Check out the trailer here.

The Blind Side

A touching story starring Sandra Bullock and Quinton Aaron that depicts another true story about a teenager who is living on his own in the streets. He befriends a woman and her family and comes to stay a night which ends up with him living with the family and becoming a part of it. As they live and support each other, not only does the teen grow into his potential as a football player and in school, but the family members learn more about themselves.

It looks super sweet and cute and I know that some of my friends almost cry every time they see the commercial. Here’s the trailer.

The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus

Heath Ledger’s final film is about a traveling theatre company that offers more than one expects. Dr. Parnassus gives his audience a choice between light and joy and darkness and gloom. However, he himself has a very dark secret.

Because filming was still going on when the tragedy of Ledger’s passing occurred, his character, Tony, goes through “transformations” where he is played by actors such as Johnny Depp, Colin Farrell, and Jude Law.

It looks rather promising and OF COURSE I want to see it! C’mon, Heath Ledger was awesome, and so is Johnny Depp and co. Total hotties, too! Here’s the trailer below. Check it out =]

Sticky floors and tears,

Mary Jane