Hey, do you have a baby girl? Do you want to inflict severe psychological damage on her from an early age? Yes? I knew you would!

Why not buy her a pair of soft high heels that will make it impossible for her to walk, but will change her posture so that she’s more sexually attractive to baby boys?

Get a jumpstart on whoring out your daughters!

Check out the most appalling product blurbs ever at Heelarious.com. (You can also look into Baby’s First Credit Card Teether. Because you are a terrible person.)

Parenting FAIL.

Those of you who know me well know that I loathe baby showers. I can only take so many “ooh’s” and “ahh’s” before I want to start ripping out my hair. And since I don’t have children, I find shopping for baby stuff terribly annoying. The stores are crowded with crying infants. I have no idea what to buy, and the long laundry list of items provided on the registry doesn’t help either. I don’t have a clue what most of the items are and why they are important. It’s a best guess effort every time…until now.

I found a “heelarious” gift for baby girls, leopard print heels. Yes, that’s right…heels. Heelarious.com offers soft crib booties for babies designed to look like high heels. They are extremely cute and funny at the same time.

The shoes — in sizes 0 to six months — are designed purely for entertainment purposes. They are completely safe because the soft stilettos collapse when weight is put on them. The novelty pumps come in six colors – leopard satin print, hot pink patent, black satin, zebra satin, black patent, and hot pink satin.

Now if heels aren’t your thing, you can choose to buy the new baby girl her first pair of boots instead. Heelarious also has baby boots complete with spurs. They come in black or two-toned red and pink.

Check ‘em out. And if you buy these for a shower, check with me first to make sure we don’t show up with the same gift…haha!

We were all born barefoot and sometimes I think that’s the way I was meant to stay. Believe me, I’d love to be a fan of shoes, especially the pretty ones, but my feet won’t comply. As a little girl, I used to play dress up and put on my mum’s high heels and totter around the kitchen. One of my nieces first words was “shoes” and now at age seven, she’s still the little Fashionista!
This led me to question what is it about this obsession with shoes?

Fairytales and Films

Ruby Slippers Wizard of Oz

Sex and City

Louboutins

Manolos

Imelda Marcus
We hear of more and more women like Imelda Marcus, former Philippine First Lady, with their large shoe collections. She said she once saw a New York shoe shop poster saying: “There is a little Imelda in all of us.” The Philippines’ shoemaking capital of Marikina in Manila has acquired 200 pairs of shoes from her famed collection for a new shoe museum. The exhibits include shoes made by such world-famous names as Ferragamo, Givenchy, Chanel and Christian Dior, all size eight-and-a-half. The museum has been unable to obtain a famous battery-operated pair that blinked when Mrs Marcos danced. I think people look at me funny when I say I have less than 20 pairs of shoes in my wardrobe and that includes my wellies, runners and slippers!

Designer shoes for H&M

Jimmy Choos

Baby High Heels
To top it all off, a company, called Heelarious, has launched a product for baby girls, their very own first high heels. Britta Bacon & Hayden Porter are childhood friends turned business partners. While Hayden was completely obsessed with high heels, Britta wasn’t even sure if she owned a pair. On her way to her daughter Kayla’s 4th birthday party, Britta was reminiscing about when Kayla was a baby and Hayden’s shoe obsession crossed her mind. She thought to herself “That would have been hilarious if I could have brought Kayla to a party in high heels when she was a baby”. It was at that moment that •heelarious® was born. Extremely funny, completely soft shoes for babies, 0-6 months designed to look like high heels, Not intended for walking (heel will collapse with weight). To me they just look ridiculous.

MBTs
When MBT’s (Masai Barefoot Technology), also known as the anti-shoe, burst onto the market a few years ago, I thought they sounded like a dream come true. The invention of a Swiss Engineer, Karl Muller who recreated the effect of walking barefoot on the uneven ground of the Masai’s East African homeland. It is the first physiological footwear that has a positive effect on the whole body: good for your posture, alleviates both back pain and joint pain and helps you lose weight and tone up. MBTs are now available in over twenty countries and approximately one million pairs are sold every year. Like everyone else I jumped on that particular bandwagon hoping for a miracle cure. Costing about €200 this miracle cure didn’t come cheap. After a short walk, I had blisters on both feet and now they sit forlornly in the back of my wardrobe.

FitFlop

Fit Flops

Barefoot Running Shoes

Glove Shoes

Going Barefoot
I love going barefoot as much as possible, although I do wear shoes when out and about! I think it is important to let your feet breathe every now and again and there’s no better feeling than the feeling of nature beneath your feet. Go on be one with nature!

File this one under, “Are You Fucking Kidding Me?”  This picture pretty much says it all (if you didn’t believe this post’s title):

Glass bottomed heels are optional.

So okay, high heels aren’t specifically “stripper shoes,” but they definitely are in poor taste and bad judgment when you put them on an infant.  It’s as bad as putting writing on the back of actual baby shorts and sweatpants.  Moms – little girls aren’t your living dolls, accessories, or Chihuahuas… they’re new people.  New human beings.  Full of life and potential.  I’m not saying it’s a sure path to coke-whoring despair, but there are better options.

See how these moms react:

I could go on and on about how this idea may be the worst thing since:

Only a Dad would buy this shirt

But my explanations would sway no one and only come across as redundant to your reactions.

That’s why should I happen to have a daughter of my own, I’m going to raise her to trust no one.  I’ll encourage her to be a little reporter and investigator, and she’ll come home and tell me all the things she’s uncovered.  We’ll create journals and files and collect news clippings.  That way my daughter will be a little more Veronica Mars than Gossip Girl. 

Or super seriously paranoid.

Maybe I shouldn’t be a parent…

(I am just not to sure about this one)

These are cute, but a baby in soft flexible high heels? I am not too sure about this one. I guess there will be times when its just the cutest thing you ever seen… while other ties its like dude, let the baby be a baby for crying out loud.

Nevertheless, the company is creating real buzz over the highly totally unfunctinal high heel baby booty. They hit the news curcuit like Nike got hit with a lawsuit (I’m sorry I just had to throw that in there)? The Today Show, MSNBC, CBS News… the list is quite impressive. and the shoes are pretty ok, so I guess I can’t complain too much.

So is it a good idea? Does it sort of sexualize the baby or does it just make the baby look darling and so cute?

Dans la série des objets inutiles s’adressant aux mamans-modasses gagas, Heelarious propose de relooker vos bambins âgés entre 0 et 6mois de fantastiques chaussures à talons.

Depuis les santiags jusqu’aux escarpins, une vaste palette de produits aide à transformer son bébé en égérie fashion miniature. 

Qui a dit : “on ne nait pas femme, on le devient”?

Je ne suis pas certain que Simone aurait apprécié…

De là à imaginer que les mamans habillent modèlent leurs enfants en fonction de ce qu’elles auraient voulu être…

Tout communique : le rejeton est un média comme les autres.

Pauvres gosses: 

Heelarious!  That is what we thought when we first saw these adorable baby booties.

iVillage agrees that these are the perfect accessory for you fashionista baby. Here is an excerp from “Stylish Finds for Baby ” from iVillage.

Move over Carrie Bradshaw—a new, pint-sized fashion diva just crawled into town. Believe it or not, these itty bitty stilettos are for babies. They come in pink, black and leopard-print satin, and add a funny flair to your little one’s wardrobe without jeopardizing her precious tootsies for the sake of fashion”

Britta Bacon  e Hayden Porter tiveram a brilhante ideia de criar sapatos de salto alto para crianças de 0 à 6 meses – o nome da marca é heelarious ( um trocadilho com as palavras inglesas “heel” – “salto” e “hilarious” -”hilário”) para deixar claro que se trata de uma brincadeira: o salto é molinho para não encomodar e obvio não serão usados- afinal nessa idade se muito as moçoilas estarão engatinhando!!! 

Parecer Os Desbocad0s: Puta coisa inutil – mas não dá para resistir, é a coisa mais fofa do mundo NAOMEGOENTO!!!:

O preço varia de RS$ 35 (os sapatos) à RS$ 42,50 (a bota) para ver mais modelos: http://www.heelarious.com/ - A mini model que estampa o site é MUSA.

Iran

O Vicente trouxe de Paris os primeiros sapatos de salto alto da Luiza, que ele encontrou numa loja super cool! Eles são modernérimos e uma semana depois sairam na Veja . O nome é Heelarious (uma brincadeira com hilário e heels – salto em inglês). Com um pai como o Nuno e com o Vicente por perto ela vai ser super descolada!

Do you know of a mom who is always in high heels, a fashion diva or obsessed with shoes? Then you have to check out these high heels for babies! They are “Heelarious”! These baby high heels extremely funny, totally soft shoes for babies. Yes, these high heels for babies are the latest must have accessory of any little diva in training!

These baby high heels have been featured on the Todays Show, In Touch Weekly, New York Post, CBS News, Good Morning America and ABC News. They are fabulous!

WARNING: May cause extreme smiling and hysterical laughter when in use (this is completely normal).

I had just been thinking of how I could transform baby shoes to look like high heels for a Halloween costume for my friend’s baby, when I discovered these crib shoes in one of my many gossip mags.  Even though I was bummed I hadn’t thought of it first, I thought this was the funniest thing ever.  Heelarious are crib shoes for babies 0-6 months that look like high heels.  These are my favorite designs.

You know…..well….oh, man…this is just pathetic.  For only $35.00 you too can dress up your infant daughter too look like a bar skank.  So precious.  Novelty STD testing kit sold separately.

extremely funny, completely soft
shoes for babies 0-6 months
designed to look like high heels

Your little one will look fabulous in these soft crib shoes designed to look like high heels!  Each pair of heelarious heels is packaged in a darling purse-shaped gift box, complete with a rhinestone closure. Leopard satin heel with black satin lining for infants size 0-6 months.

Heelarious Official Website

This has got to be the stupidest thing I’ve seen in awhile (although the name is kind of clever “Heelarious”). Squishy baby high heels. Who would buy these?! I think they are supposed to be a joke, but still. Not only are they impractical but they are REALLY ugly. If you are going to parade your child around in something completely embarrassing – at least make it cute, like ruffle-butt tights or side pig-tails. And just remember, payback is a bitch. They will get revenge on you when you are old and decrepit.

The best new baby item?  I think not.  High heeled baby booties.  What will they think of next?

Created by Heelarious . . .and apparently very popular as they have been showcased on the Today Show, ABC News, and in print as well.  and stirring up quite a bit of controversy over the fact that babies aren’t meant to look sexy.  Several child safety groups have been on the warpath over these little shoes!  I wouldn’t take it that far, but you will hear my opinion!

“The novelty pumps that let infants channel their inner Carrie Bradshaw come in six colors – leopard satin print, hot pink patent, black satin, zebra satin, black patent, and hot pink satin”

Perhaps we need to get our children used to painful and damaging footwear early?  No, I think they were just hoping people would say, Aw,  look how cute those are!  But I can just imagine a baby with those chubby little legs crawling around in high heels . . .And what happens when she starts learning to stand?   If I saw a baby wearing these, I would think her mother was training her to be pretentious, self-absorbed and slutty.  Ah, but look, all the stars are putting them on their babies!  Well that makes it ok (ahem . . .insert severe sarcasm here)

I would not say, oh those are so cute and at $35 a pop i must buy a pair!  No.  Please do not put these on your children.  They are rediculous.

Believe it or not, someone is profiting from the idea of selling high-heels to toddlers. It is not enough that pre-teens are becoming the target of sexualization, we have now moved to babies. I wanna make a clarification. I am not Anti-Beauty, anti-looking good but it is the way society and culture have pressured women to obsess about it. Don’t get me wrong I have also fallen prey to the pressure. I have to constantly remind myself that buying lipstick, shoes and clothes aren’t as much as a priority than continuing my education and pursuing excellence in all my passions. But I have always wondered why women where heels especially since I lost the desire while I was at college.

High heels supposedly came from a necessity, high heeled shoes were needed to keep in place the feet of riders on stirrups. They soon became a fashion accessory to a fashion necessary. I always saw heels as a literal way of keeping women on a different level than men. Imagine going to the work place with 4 inch heels pinching at your feet while your male counterpart stands comfortably and astutely in his leather shoes.

So what does it mean know that we have toddlers wearing heels? I think it means we got some serious issues. Babies are babies, not potential Paris Hilton clones. I think we should stop laughing and take a hard look at ourselves. We have been so accepting of whatever is thrown in our face. I am reminded of the time I was hanging out with a young girl about two or three, I asked what she wanted to be when she grew up and as she stroked her Bratz doll she looked up at me and said ” I wanna be famous”. I wondered famous for what? In a world that increasingly glamorizes material gain and the commodification of women, heelarious is a bitter reminder that we might have gone too far.

Click here to go to the heelarious website. please feel free to write your comments to them and let them know how you feel, I am.

Big thanks to a dear friend, you know who u are for pointing me to this site.

ok, so sometimes i wonder what it would be like if i had a baby girl (then i come to my senses and realize what a HUGE temptation all the adorable baby girl accessories would be!)… thankfully God gave me a baby boy!

a new website has caught my eye… HEELARIOUS

but these are the CUTEST thing ever!!! Who has heard of baby girl high heel pumps!?!?!?

from the super cute company heelarious… come these wonderfully sweet baby heels!!

i just can’t handle it!! all of them are SO adorable! dont worry pod-conscious mamas, these are for infants 0-6 months, so no walking will be done in them!

so, as a totally DIFFERENT gift for a super chic mama, pick up a pair of this heelarious foot candy!

Heelarious is a line of so-called “crib heels” for infants 0 to 6 months.  These hilarious shoes are designed to look like high heels and help to glam up play dates and beauty sleep.  I used to think I really wanted boys… but maybe having a daughter would be more fun that I originally thought… in a non-JonBenét-Ramsey-sort-of-way.

Note:  Although these look like real heels, they are actually made from soft flexible fabrics with a collapsible heel.  Besides they are not intended for walking (which shouldn’t be a problem for infants ages 0-6 months) and are therefor safe for babies.