My perfect painkiller.

It burns…. have you noticed that the friends of the master of the universe are always insane and mega stupid…
Bypass your intellect folks, then gawd will become obvious

Are you crazy enough to make it to the imaginary hevn, to the imaginary mass murderer in the sky… or will you go to imaginary hell, to the imaginary mass murderers right hand devil, Satan.
Check it

Yes I know you are asking yourself if hell is that bad.. consider being in hevn with Ray and Kirk for frigging ever… that’s hell right there.

Tuesday afternoon Oz and I made the two hour journey down south to see a few bands play. We did the same thing we always do when we go down to Boca Raton: gawk at rich people. Their cars, houses, offices, boats. Nothing is safe. After walking around the mall and laughing at all the things we can’t buy, we decided to take a drive down to Deerfield beach.

Do you ever think that some people just have TOO much money?

A law office on Federal Highway

Then, to kill some time before the show, we went for a stroll through Target. A Target that has two stories (!).  At the risk of looking like a country bumpkin, I had to snag a picture. Don’t worry, I hid in the candle aisle. I don’t think anyone saw me.

An escalator? In TARGET?

After that, we hopped in the car and headed to Nick’s house where we dumped off our stuff and got pretty:

From there it was a quick car ride to downtown Ft. Lauderdale to Revolution Live where Emory, August Burns Red, an Underoath were playing.

Once we got our tickets scanned and wristbands attached, we headed into the mouth of hell. It was about 120 degrees inside the club and the air was so wet and heavy it felt like it would crush you to the floor. The first band was finishing its set, but it already smelled like sweaty hair. As we pushed through the crowd, I started taking mental notes on all of the ridiculous people that were there. I noted several different types of people:

• 12-year-old girls with fake IDs, miniskirts and black hooker boots. They mostly tried to look cool while getting pushed around and spilling their beer on each other.

• Long-haired, sweaty, shirtless guys who were moshing on the lower level.

• Tall, gangly guys wearing baggy ’90s Jnco jeans, black mesh T-shirts and as many chains as they could physically carry.

• Emo losers with multiple lip rings and black hair matted down to one side with sweat.

• A random high school math teacher who was there by himself.

Once we’d pushed our way to a spot where we could see the stage, the drums started beating, the band was on stage and the crowd went insane. The whole room reverberated with the sound of August Burns Red and you could feel the bass in your heart. The crowd pushed back and forth while people flew through the air.

August Burns Red

Unfortunately, all we had was Oz’s camera phone to document the concert with. Our favorite band member was the chubby guitarist, Brent Rambler,  who was wearing a light blue polo T-shirt, jeans and flip-flops. He rocked the shit.

Win.

August Burns Red had a really clean sound. The bass was tight and there was very little distortion on the vocals, which were much deeper in person than on the album. While the breakdowns rumbled, Jake Luhrs, the lead singer, swung his microphone around on the wire and jumped up on the front speaker. He screamed as loud as he could and beat his chest to the beat of the double bass. At one point during the set, Rambler even broke a guitar string, but the other guitarist picked up his part and the performance was seamless. They saved the best two songs, “Back Burner” and “Composure” for last. A stellar performance.

After their set, we pushed our way outside to get some air. What really sucked was that the “porch” was a twelve by twelve foot space with about 40 people crammed into it. Everyone was smoking and ashing on each other. Then it was back inside for Underoath. Neither of us were super thrilled about seeing them, but we stayed for a few songs. However, when it started smelling like a hot pile of garbage, it was time to leave. I really think somebody shat themselves.

After the concert we got some much needed Slurpies at 7-Eleven and drove back up to Boca. There we saw my favorite sign of the day:

When you just don’t care anymore: Phuket Thai.

Another blogger, Ekklesia A.D., posted a variation of Pascal’s Wager on his/her blog the other day. I tried to comment on it but my comments haven’t been approved so I’m blogging about it instead.

Pascal’s Wager as it is often used by Christian apologists, states that atheists have nothing to lose by believing in God because if God exists, then they have eternal life and if there is no god, then no harm no foul. Therefore, the apologists say, atheists might just as well go ahead and believe since they have nothing to lose.

To an atheist, there are a number of things wrong with this proposition. First of all, let’s assume for the sake of argument that there IS a deity out there somewhere, an omniscient, omnipotent, omnipresent dude who has the power to sentence you to an eternity in hell if you don’t believe in him. Furthermore, let’s assume that this Omniscient Super Deity Dude is a jealous kind of guy who gets really pissed if you worship the wrong dude.  In fact, this dude gets so pissed that if you worship the wrong dude, you’re going to spend an eternity in hell as well.

If this is the case, it’s probably a darned good idea to make sure that you are worshiping the right dude. After all, you can spend a lifetime worshiping Jehovah, but if Odin is actually the top deity, then Odin might send you to hell for all eternity for getting it wrong.

Therefore, if you are going to believe in Omniscient Super Deity Dude, you’d better make sure you bow down to the right guy because if you aren’t, you’re going to hell.

Now Christian apologists are sure they are worshiping the right guy, but what if they are wrong? If it’s Ra instead of Jehovah, and if Ra happens to be the jealous type of guy, then there’s a whole lot of crispy Christians sitting in hell right now.

That brings up another point about this wager. If Omniscient Super Deity Dude is going to sentence people to an eternity of torment for simply not believing in him, then isn’t it contingent upon him to make darned sure that it is possible for us to believe? I mean, supposedly he loves us and all that stuff, but when it comes right down to it, he doesn’t play all that fair. He expects us to believe without actually giving us any evidence that we can grab onto about his existence.

Now apologists will tell us that the evidence is there but first we have to believe in God. If that isn’t a bunch of hooey, I don’t know what is! If Omniscient Super Deity Dude TRULY loves us and truly wants us to believe in him, then he should understand that some of us need something physical in the way of evidence. We need some real, honest to god miracles. You know, like the kind they used to have in the olden days. Like when Zeus impregnated Danae with a shower of light instead of the way most men impregnate women, or when Balaam’s donkey spoke to him or when Buddha and Jesus walked on water.

The trouble is that the things today that people claim to be miracles can be explained by non-miraculous means. We’ve gotten a little more sophisticated and many of us are no longer convinced that someone can cure blindness by spitting in someone’s eye, a la Vespasius.

What we need is something that is irrefutable, that can’t be explained any other way. For instance, supposed I were to walk outside my house tonight and look up in the sky and see that someone had rearranged all the stars so as to spell out the words, “Howdy y’all!”

Or suppose that my brother-in-law were to be brought back to life and his legs restored. Seeing as how he died more than ten years ago and at the time of his death was a multiple amputee, it would be pretty hard to argue against that being a miracle.

Or if Omniscient Super Deity Dude really wants people to believe in him, why doesn’t he send someone back from Hell to tell us how awful it is?

A popular intervention program for juvenile delinquents in the late 70’s and early 80’s was Scared Straight. In this program, cocky juvies were introduced to hard-core convicts who told them how awful life was in prison. Supposedly the youngsters were so terrified at the prospect of serving as Bubba’s permanent boy toy that they gave up crime and went on to live happy, productive lives.

So if Omniscient Super Deity Dude REALLY wants us to believe in him, why doesn’t he send back some hellions to scare us straight? Say Adolf Hitler, for instance. I think that many people would agree that if there is a hell, Hitler has a special little crematorium reserved just for him. We know that he could be a very mesmerizing speaker, so think how effective he could be at converting people to believe in Omniscient Super Deity Dude if the Dude were to bring him back and let us hear him tell about the horrors he’s endured for the last sixty-some years.

The beauty of this idea is that it should be possible to get a sample of Hitler’s DNA, so us skeptic types could verify for ourselves that it really is him. This could be a win-win situation for everyone– us skeptics get to hear from someone who has actually suffered the agonies of Hell, Omniscient Super Deity Dude gets a whole bunch of believers, and Hitler gets to actually do something good by saving a few souls from eternal torment.

I mean, if Omniscient Super Deity Dude is going to damn people to an eternity of hell for not believing in him, it’s contingent upon him to provide the evidence necessary to allow us to believe. Otherwise Omniscient Super Deity Dude doesn’t play fair.

But that’s a topic for another blog.

I AM BACK! Again.

Eddie the Mascot!!

Just when you think that I am gone for good and that you might not have to read my shit again, I am back.

Other commitments had forced me out of the reviewing business, for more than a month as you can see, I last was here on the 19^th of last month.Anyways I am back with a review I am doing more to get into the way of things than anything else. All of you have heard this band and this album, and it is not as if Iron Maidens music varied or progressed a lot with time. They started from Point A, and will end at, more or less at Point A. They were more punkish in the beginning, went on to including some keyboards and tried to be more theatrical and epic later on. Their live concerts are good stuff, and have to be since their music is meant for concerts and head banging, and it’s the stuff that people can take their kids along too, these guys don’t swear, and are friendly too, do not wear make up to make themselves look like ghosts, etc etc..

Iron Maiden? You all know Iron Maiden! From England, started playing fun melodic fast metal with twin guitar attack in 1980 invented by their predecessors Judas Priest, and are still doing roughly the same stuff, which more properly came to be known as NWOBHM, the New Wave of British Heavy Metal, basically metal as described above, with a touch of punk, plus with a singer hitting all the very high notes, while dealing with all of the normal metal clichés in a fun sorta way. You know, death metal and doom metal are all “dark” and supposedly “dangerous”, and with growlers and grunters, the brand of metal which Iron Maiden popularized has “fairy” singers sort of, who go AAAAAAAAAAAA..the plus side..easy on the ears, minus side/plus side, you can understand what they are singing, which can be a drawback for some people who want serious lyrics, but a plus for people who get a laugh out of  lyrics like “6-6-6 the Number of the Beast, Hell and fire was spawned to be released” etc. Also the album covers of these NWOBHM bands are all very colourful and cartoonish. You can see the devil quite clearly, unlike on all these black metal bands whose album covers are all dark and bare.

However, their debut, on which they have Paul Di Anno as the vocalist, is almost my favourite Iron Maiden album, The Number of the Beast might up there too, but some songs on here are just tad more memorable. The signature Iron Maiden sound started from here and it always nice to look at the origin, especially if you have heard what is to come after. Also, I can never forget the title track, specially the intro, when the guitars just come in with that memorable tune, which just keeps ringing in my head. “Remember Tomorrow” exploits the soft-lound dynamic well, and is quite the killer track on here.

For the début, Iron Maiden displayed an impressive variety, they are very spunkish and tight, if you know what I mean, raw sounding, Anno is a good mean singer with the punk streak. Except for “Charlotte the harlot” everything is fine and well, on here, and if apart from “Live After Death” I had to strongly recommend an Iron Maiden album, it would be this one, and not The Number of the Beast”. Sometime ago, I would have named the afore named, but I realized suddenly that too many of my favourite tracks are to found on the début.

So get this one if by chance you missed out on it. It is good. Sounds Right.

-Baba T..back from the depths of hell..

Random pic I found on google..early days....is Anno in there?

Dante’s Inferno, to those of you who have just heard of it or those of you who haven’t even noticed this hellish title I suggest you take a good look. Dante’s Inferno is looking to compete with the big boys in just about every aspect. With a steady 60FPS and a release for the current generation (Frames Per Second) it seeks to disgust, frustrate and release all kind of demons upon you. The art direction doesn’t look all that bad either. It’s all based on the poem “The Divine Comedy” written by Dante Alighieri and instead of using hell as a metaphor as Dante intended they have literally taken all of his vivid and repulsive descriptions and given them life.

Dante seems to be oblivious to great dangers, he's currently busy trying to fight off a salesman.

From what we’ve seen so far it looks like this one is about to bring some fresh air into the mix of God of War and Devil May Cry. Bayonetta is also coming up so all of you action fans out there seem to have one great early winter to look forward to! Hopefully I won’t hype this too much but from what I’ve seen so far it seems Dante will slice you up, pour your blood into a stinking bowl the devil prepared with acid and then pour the rest into a dark, burning hole of entertainment.

 MEMOIRS

(Abridged)                                                                                         

By K.K.Subramanian

Waterfriend remembers his childhood

           Kunnathur Mana

My mother was born in a very illustrious family Kunnathur Padinjaredath.You can see the ancestral house near the Peruvanam temple south gopuram (gate)

I have vague memories of sitting upstairs; looking at the road. I must be four at that time.

The family came there in search of livelihood and became the tantry (main priest-they still are) of the temple. I can imagine mother (kali was her name-a goddess) walking towards the temple, holding the hands of the maid servant, almost naked, with only a plantain leaf strip to cover nakedness, not knowing what fate awaited her…tears swell in my eyes, even as I write these lines

She was married off at the tender age of thirteen or so to Subrahmanian Nambudiripad, aged forty plus, already having two wives, one living and the next one and her son still fresh in memory, and a daughter of mother’s age whom her brother married the same day, probably. Mother was dark, uncouth and short; my step sister was fair, lean and very handsome whom mother hated heartily!

I do not remember any one caring for her,  except her younger sister and some cousins. Uncle (eldest) never talked to her or even to her children (in all six, two died early). She had a sharp tongue and was outspoken but had a heart of gold. She was very lazy and father was the laziest!

I digressed…

Around 150 years ago, mother’s ancestor was married to the sister of the king of erstwhile Cochin State who was known as Shaktan Thampuran. He bestowed on the Kunnathur family tax free land. The family became rich.

Maternal grandfather was very intelligent, so too was my uncle. At that time a rich local Nambudiri of Chittoor mana established a school, where we all studied, and uncle was the first student, duly initiated before a lighted lamp etc. Of course the student was without a shirt! I had a few classmates, topless, in primary school. Grandmother was wise, cultured and well versed in puranas (old legends of Hindu religion).When she got angry and shouted like a lioness, her husband shivered like a mouse! She did like my mother, always told me to look after her well but did nothing when she needed assistance. In fact no one accompanied her when she left the house built by father, and we were travelling in a country boat, through the swollen river. Being a fool, I enjoyed the trip!…

Earliest memories centre around a small village Thalore, near Trichur. I was about four. Mother had given birth to a dead baby and so she continued to feed me. I just came in from the spacious orchard where I was playing, lay down in my mother’s lap and started sucking her big breast. (In those days our women folk did not wear blouse.) “Ma, who put sugar in your milk?” -I asked. She just pushed me off and that was the end breast feeding !

I had a playmate Bhagi about eight years or so . She was attached to our maid servant Madhavi. I always thought she was her daughter.

 One day the girl was mopping the kitchen floor. I said something .She didn’t listen and I gave a blow on her back with an iron ladle. The poor girl cried out aloud inviting the attention of mother and paternal grand mother I felt guilty and wretched. Perhaps that was the only time I used violence against any living creature…..

With just a piece of cloth tied like lady’s bikini, I used to accompany Madhavi to the grocery shop owned by a Tamil Brahmin .He would give a piece of jaggery. We never got chocolates in those days.

Father and mother slept in the upstairs bed room. I slept with them. Mother used to tell stories. Elder brother used to sleep with grandmother. He was her favourite. Paternal uncle Krishnaphan was an occasional visitor. We loved him, as he was a good storyteller. About Lilliputs we heard from him. He was dark and fat unlike another p. uncle Vasudevaphan who was slim and fair, the first person to go to school from K.K. family. He was teacher and a close friend of E.M.S. Namboodiripad.

One day an old lady came, covered up to the neck in pure white dhoti (in north India only a widow will dress in white) Do you know her? –they asked. When I blinked, they all laughed . I felt ashamed. It was mother’s ma. As a girl, she was born and brought up in the same house where we were staying temporarily-the great Veembur Kadalayil Mana (which was lying vacant at the time. Mahatma Gandhi visited the house in 1929). Father who was a good architect and astrologer was making our house near the river, about four miles away. One day brother and I accompanied him to see the construction work. My legs were paining like hell. I earned the reputation of having walked four miles when four years old.    

 At that time , another paternal uncle, Parameswaran by name, took me with him to fort Tripunithura where royal family members lived. By custom, only a nambudiri may marry a princess. And, in a nambudiri family only the eldest can marry; others may have legitimate relationship with women of other upper castes, the latter not entitled for a share of nambudiri property. They are not allowed to share meals with us.(My grandfather’s younger brother’s daughter was my schoolmate .I never knew about the blood relationship, though I somehow liked her. Of course I was too shy to talk to her! )

That is how uncle married a real princess and lived in Palace no.11. I was too small to notice the clean bed, the sumptuous food (at home we had it only on birthdays or during Onam) The great festival was going on at the Poornathrayeesha (Krishna) temple and there were any number of elephants (I wanted to become a mahout-I am never tired of watching these majestic animals)

An elephant was being fed. Uncle asked me-do you want to mount it . I shook my head. The mahout lifted me and handed over to his colleague sitting on the elephant. He placed me on its neck. I felt uncomfortable, its hair pricking my naked bottom and I being lifted up and down by the motion of its head while eating; still I enjoyed it .

One day we were taken to Akavoormana near river Periyar. We enjoyed playing in the shallow swift flowing water. I lay down in the water and was carried away some distance. Flapping my arms I managed to remain floating. Thus I learnt the rudiments of swimming. I do not know how to swim really. Like cattle only my head remains above water.

There were two young elephants there. As a baby Ramankutty used to roam about in the house and snatch things from the kitchen. Even now I like to have a baby elephant ….

Vasudevan uncle (the youngest among five brothers, father being the eldest) was working as teacher in Namboori Vidyalaya at Trichur. I would look with admiration  the fat books in his shelf. One day when I grow up I shall read them!

Savithri was born. I refused to see the baby. I wanted a brother. This dislike of girls remained for a long time to come.

When Vas uncle brought a wife I was too shy to meet her. Afterwards the words “cheriamme “automatically escaped from my mouth and all exclaimed “today it will rain” 

   Recently, during morning walk I reached the church and, turning right, easily located the arch, proclaiming entry towards the Shiv temple. I went through it and turned right. A little further, I had hardly turned left when I could easily spot the old gate as it was in 1937! It was something like a flashback in TV screen! The front yard was very small. (in my mind it was very big.)The main building was intact, though concretised. I saw mother’s bedroom upstairs where I slept. Through the left side I traced a few steps and saw the workplace where women husked rice .It was locked. I could easily see the rope swing and Bhagi and I playing there. The reddish brown cow must be somewhere nearby. Bhagi showed me how to pick silky smooth, egg shaped thing (she called it pattunni) from the cow’s skin. She would place it on a stone and crush it with another stone spilling blood. Ma must be in the kitchen. The great surprise was when I turned to the east courtyard and looked to the flight of steps leading to the orchard. I was expecting at least thirty steps. I could count hardly four! To the child everything appears on a mega screen. To the grown up, it is all on TV screen. The surroundings had been cut into plots and sold. There are flats now. But the main structure is unoccupied till now.

Originally, it belonged to Moothedath Kadalayil which was merged with Veembur Kadalayil. On shifting to Pazhai, the house was sold to Akavoor Mana, my paternal grand mother’s maiden house (illam). We were just living there. The Akavoor namboodiri even suggested,” sister, why don’t you live here, why build a new house?” But father wanted to be near our village. 

There is no psychiatrist in the world like a puppy licking your face. ~Ben Williams

this week’s satire and silliness goes out to J, Rika, Svast, Monsieur Bear, Tiger Girly & Sooz for, well, totally being there this loooong week. You are teh awesome.

Men will always be mad, and those who think they can cure them are the maddest of all. ~Voltaire

Sleepy As Hell

As you have read on my blog,You have seen references to “Unconditional Love”.Jesus does loves us unconditionally that even though while we were yet sinners,He died for us.But to really experience the true meaning of love of Jesus is to recognize that you were born a sinner.Sin is a disease we all are born with.The results of sin separates us from the hope of spending Eternity with Jesus in Heaven.Those who die with the sin disease will end up in hell and be tormented for eternity.The proof of Unconditional Love of Jesus comes into play that He Loves us and doesn’t want anyone or the whosoever to suffer that horrible fate of hell.Jesus came to pay for the penalty of sin.Jesus loves us that much..to die in our place.He was bruised for our transgressions,He suffered and was nailed to a Cross to free us from the penalty of sin.We must repent and ask Jesus to forgive us and come into our heart and lives.Wow,once you accept Jesus as Your Savior,You will be with Him in Heaven and until He calls you Home,Jesus will be your best friend and change your life with peace and love.When the most active storms of life come your way,Jesus will be there with you to give you strength to get through the tough times.I like this part because you really experience Unconditional Love at it’s best and very powerful.You will have the Peace that Surpasses all understanding.No Doubt,Jesus Loves you Unconditionally.No Doubt Jesus loves the Whosoever.

Historically, the Devil has played a big part in barter, trade, and retail folklore.

Mephistopheles, the old retail master, has come a long way since that Faust legend of trading a soul for a wife.

These days we seem to be making all manner of deals with the Devil.

But the Devil doesn’t just want your soul anymore.

His standards for fair trade have changed a bit.

Hell is presently experiencing an economic glut in souls—supply is exceeding demand.

Mephistopheles will now accept other fees.

So if you’re looking for a good deal, Carpe Diem!

And right before Christmas, too!

Now, I’m no investment specialist, but I have noticed some real bargaining going on out there in the fray of our dealings with the Devil.

Most of these bargains come with Ginsu knives and many offer bonus deals if you dial 1-800-Gimme right now.

But if you go straight to the Devil’s warehouse, you can look in the Vanity Aisle, on the Convenience Shelf, into the Ignorance Case, (the one with fool proof glass) and on the Sale Rack of Fate, to find these special items and strike a bargain with the old trade master, in person.

Descriptions of what you can buy…and…What it will cost you—later.

Personal Convenience:

Easy to install and operate.

Runs on complete lack of responsibility with rechargeable credit cards, loaded with immediate gratification.

Comes with automatic thought controls and a powerful, spontaneous consumption engine that may be steered rampantly over human value, extinct species, healthy food, and personal integrity, by corporate propaganda.

A very reliable generator of justifications has been built in by marketing experts.

On the receipt is a coupon for two round trip tickets to bathe in Moon water after making a mess on Earth.

Bonus feature: Sturdy petroleum base product with Banker seal of approval.

Price to be paid: Social and Ecological Bankruptcy

Security

Includes a colorful alert system and a monitor enhanced with a panoramic view of all your neighbors, a specially designed toggle switch that leans to the right for easy operation, and a temporary thrill seeking device that allows the user to experience intermittent shock waves through media manipulation, inducing a euphoric inspiration to get naked in airports and a self righteous exhilaration derived from profiling races other than one’s own.

Price to be paid : Ten Bills of Rights and some change

Emotional Comfort:

Comes with smooth to swallow pills and easy to digest health related labels, which are artistically created in think tanks and laboratories to accommodate any sensitive reaction to a culture that is completely irrational and short sighted.

Guaranteed to alleviate that nagging feeling that something is very wrong here.

Provides a quick fix to any questioning type thinking and maintains a palatable social climate with a built in pull string lullaby to abate any revolting side effects.

Price:  Your Mental Stability and Confidence in Reality

Complacency

Gently used, and gift wrapped by indigenous people who are being exploited in places you’ve never heard of, so you don’t have to think about them while global homogenization settles like dust on your imported furniture.

This item is user friendly with flexibly lined edges and non resistant conformity for superior feelings of entitlement and relaxation.

One size potentially fits all. Diversity not included.

Price: Your Humanity

Spirituality:

This is an exceptionally good deal since the Devil doesn’t really need your soul any more.

You can obtain this item outside the Devil’s warehouse without a contract.

There are a myriad of Con men, Cult leaders, Megalomaniacs, New Age Promulgators of invented truths, and Predators of your need to find answers in a world gone nuts, who are willing to give you this for mere cash.

But for those other things—and more, you’re evidently gonna have to cut a deal with Mephistopheles.

Unlike Dr Faustus, your exchange contract may stipulate a collection due date that extends beyond twenty four years, so your kids might have to pay for these purchases later, but Hey, you get to have ‘em now!

And…

You get to keep your *Soul!

Woo Hoo!

*May be limited to what’s in store.

If you read what I’ve written up until now, you probably dismiss me as something of a crackpot and I probably would dismiss what I’ve said too.

I’ve written about Satan and the effect that I believe he has on many things in daily life and significant events; however there’s of course a flaw in my theory; where’s God in all of this?

Well He is where He always is; He’s up in Heaven watching. Satan doesn’t do anything beyond what God lets him do. God lets him do all sorts of things however, Satan runs this world because God said so.

So…lets take a look at this.

In my own case, I was a Christian and found it extremely odd that I could have this torment that I was experiencing at the same time. Satan had a strategy with me; he pretended he was God.

…and God let him.

How can that happen?

Well, we make a lot of assumptions about God. We believe that God has some sort of duty or obligation to take care of us on this earth. He doesn’t HAVE to though, and that’s the point.

God is concerned about Souls in Heaven; earth could be a great place if you are blessed by God, however that is simply an option and not anything that God is required to do. He more than willing to let people suffer on earth and call it a test for Heaven. God requires that He be first, if He’s not He will eventually (or in my case not eventually at all) force you into a decision.

God or the world? Take your pick…

I was told by a voice, a voice I was under the assumption was God, to give my 2 children away. 2 kids that I had custody of and had raised myself for years. And you know what? I did it. I gave them to their mom, because a voice told me to.

Now I don’t have to define for anyone how sick that is; but when you believe it’s the Holy Spirit prompting you to do something and you don’t do it, things get rather intense.

Later, after this was all done, my pet voice told me some other things and those things wound up not being the truth. Then based on a verse in Hebrews stating that it is impossible for God to lie, I realized that I was dealing with something completely different than what I thought I was. It was either my own psychosis or it was Satan.

That did nothing to solve the problem though; I had signed away custody of my own children. This is where Christianity gets turned into a weapon. Jesus said if someone asks you for your coat, to give it to them. Jesus told the Rich Young Ruler to give away everything he owned…or else!

What if someone came to your door and asked you for your house?

What if someone came to your door and asked you for your kids?

I’ll tell you, in my case, I never got my kids back. God never cared what happened to me. He could have, but He isn’t required to. He isn’t required to prevent it, and isn’t required to give you something or someone back to replace what’s gone. It’s His option, and His alone.

Shame on me for being so gullible, and I won’t argue that. Christianity messes with people’s minds though in how extreme it capably can be, and also the madness of realizing that Satan actually reports to God. Here’s some examples:

Satan walks up to God and tells Him basically that Job only cares about God because Job’s been blessed. God could truly care about Job’s life and tell Satan “No” and to go away; however instead God takes the possibility seriously and tells Satan that he can do all sorts of nasty things to Job; but he can’t kill him.

So that’s what happens. Job loses riches, loses cattle, actually LOSES HIS CHILDREN all under this dare that Job will stay faithful to God through this suffering.

Then, when Job basically tells God “this sucks”, God goes on pretty much of a rampage. Tells Job everything that He has done and is capable of, and to paraphrase He pretty much tells Job that “I’m God, I can do anything I want…too bad. “

Job passes the test, doesn’t curse God and gets double of everything back. Well, not really everything. Kids aren’t like weebles, you don’t replace one with another one. His kids that died, died. When it was the birthday of one of Job’s kids, I’m sure he still grieved even though he had new kids. So yes, God did take Job’s kids from him and they didn’t come back.

Notice something else in the story of Job though. God told Satan what he could do, and WHAT HE COULDN’T DO. Satan couldn’t say F*** you God, I’m going to kill him anyways. When God set a limit, it was followed. Satan reports to God, there’s no other way to reason that point…I mean what if Satan defied God; if you were Satan wouldn’t you say something to the effect of “Or what, you’re going to throw me in Hell?” Notice, he didn’t say that at all.

Now the notion of God treating people with respect and fairness. One of the ways in which people seem geniunely befuddled about God is in the notion of not being able to comprehend John 3:16 vs. Romans 9:13.

John 3:16 is “For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in Him will not perish but have everlasting life.

Romans 9:13 says that Jacob I loved, but Esau I hated.

Athiests just love this stuff, because God is a hypocrite, right?

Well no it’s actually pretty simple. God promises everyone the chance at eternity. Choose Jesus, choose Salvation; keep God first in your heart, love your neighbor as yourself and you go to Heaven.

No exceptions. Pharoah, Judas, every person that ever has or ever will live gets that same promise of Jesus and eternal life. No one is damned to Hell, it’s punishment for not choosing God and everyone has the option.

And yes, I know all about the elect and the elect is a SPIRIT that will not let those imbued stray from God or the truth. It’s like winning the lottery, virtually no one has that spirit, for the rest of us it’s our own free will, it’s the equivalent of having an angel inside of you that won’t let you wander too far from God. To those people, they get the full actual truth. Heaven matters, life doesn’t. Period, the end.

The rest of us have to choose that, with help maybe but we don’t have the angel that won’t let us walk away. How many people are the elect? Well let’s see, once upon a time God killed off everyone on earth except Noah and his family, so obviously there weren’t very many elect walking around back then. Plus, if this was all pre-ordained why would God be mad at people? It’s His own fault for Him not putting more elect on earth. Right? No, man has free will for the most part…

So Salvation, meaning Jesus Christ and Heaven, is a viable promise that applies to everyone as representative of God’s love.

So how could God hate?

He hates behaviors as all of us already know, He hates people by mistreating them on EARTH.

How did God hate Esau? He told Rebekkah before either Jacob or Esau was born that Esau would serve Jacob. Against custom. Against the rules of the land.

He did not say Esau couldn’t be saved. He did not say Esau wouldn’t be blessed even, but Jacob was getting something Esau was entitled to. God was abusing Esau, he was mistreating him intentionally, He was hating Esau. He doesn’t say “so what”, He comes right out and says “I hate you”. On earth…

Jacob flat out lies to his father to get Esau’s birthright, God looks the other way. God’s will came to pass through Jacob breaking one of God’s commandments. At Esau’s expense.

Then afterwards, God sends an angel to wrestle with Jacob and clean him up of his deceitful nature; but God doesn’t give Esau the birthright, does He? Jacob keeps it, God’s will came from sin. That’s how Esau was hated, God’s basically being enough of a man to acknowledge that and also to warn everyone in Romans 9 that He does have the capability to allow people to be mistreated on earth for His own purposes. Now of course God doesn’t tempt sin, so who did? Ding ding, Satan did. Satan works for God.

Now let’s look at Jesus and Judas. Do you think Satan understands what Jesus purpose on earth is? Of course! So why does Satan enter Judas to have him betray Jesus? Isn’t that sort of a stupid thing for Satan to do?

Why doesn’t Satan jump into Judas, have him run a thousand miles in the other direction and then drown him in a lake? Anything to keep scripture from being fulfilled.

No that’s not his strategy, because there doesn’t seem to be any option. What if Judas said no to betraying Jesus? What if Pilate said no? Would God have just shrugged and said “Oh well, maybe later”. It’s obvious that this had to happen, and if anything Satan’s only real effort came in trying to stop Jesus from actually pulling it off.

Satan reports to God…he does what God lets him do.

In 1830 George Wilson was found guilty of robbery and murder by the U.S. Court in Philadelphia. President Andrew Jackson granted Wilson a Presidential pardon, however Wilson rejected the pardon outright stating it was not a true pardon unless he accepted it. Wilson’s decision left President Jackson in a dilemma and prevailed upon Chief Justice John Marshall for intervention.

Marshall’s decision was “a pardon on a peace of paper, the value of which depends upon its acceptance by the person implicated.” He further stated, “It’s hardly to be supposed that one under the sentence of death would refuse to accept such a pardon, but if it is refused, it is no pardon. George Wilson must hang.” At the appointed time George Wilson, convicted murderer and robber, was hanged; end of story.

One of the supposed roadblocks to accepting Christianity is the question of a loving G-d sending people to hell. George Wilson stands out as the truest example of someone not appropriating the grace of G-d available to all mankind. Could George Wilson blame anyone but himself? Absolutely not. President Jackson’s pardon and Justice Marshall’s interpretation were not the essence of his pardon. The pardon could only be accepted by Wilson.

Nowhere in the Scriptures do we find G-d not extending His love and mercy, being longsuffering toward the sinner ; but each person is judged by G-d on his life and receiving the pardon offered. G-d does not send anybody to hell!

I am in love!

Sabrosura~

I was talking to Mz T (she makes fabulous jewelry check it out here >http://www.artfire.com/users/afabulousflair) last night and she was telling me about her experiences and somewhere in there I heard the word “tamales” and that is all it took….my mouth started watering and the craving kicked in. This morning I was searching high and low for my tamale lady’s phone number…whew I thought I’d lost it…nope, I still have it, I gave her a call and she is cooking some for me as I type, I’m taking my time with the coffee because I want to savor them with a hot cup of Kona (that was sent to me by my friend http://cynthiaschmidt.com/ in Hawaii)….I even have my candles (http://lightfandangocandles.com/) from Lu going….blissful! You might be interested in checking these sites out, there are sales going on!

Wash them chones~

My oldest son is out of town so this weekend is just me and boys # 2 & 3. They will be doing laundry this weekend and tomorrow I will send them all to the grocery store. I’ve got two weeks of freedom before I go back to hell…so not looking forward to that trip.

Play me some country music, like Grandpa used to play~

I started reading a book last night….well more like early this morning after I got off Skype….I read a few pages then turned the light out and pretended to sleep, eventually I managed to get to sleep, for at least an hour…it shows…I’ve got baggy eyes. It is a very sexy look on me. Someone out there is into that kind of eye bag look!

Somebody needs some sleep~

I am off to watch some TV and chill, have a great weekend.

I was at a client’s home recently. The client’s daughter is a new mother, new as in the child was born in October.

Me and my boss were doing our thing, when this woman walked into the room to check on the progress. She was carrying her baby in her arms. I didn’t pay much attention, I was there to work and not socialize with the clients or say “Aw, your baby is soo cute.” I was in a rush to get the job done then get the heck outta there.

Eventually, my eye catches a sight of this woman and her baby. The baby was facing the mother so I only saw the back of the child’s head. “That’s an odd hair colour for a baby,” I thought to myself. “Wait a minute… The ears on that kid look awfully weird.”

I take another glance but, you know, one of those looks that tries not to be an obvious look. Turns out, this woman wasn’t carrying her baby, she was carrying a chihuahua.

Higher Hell: The Second Coming

Chapter 9: The Jersey Devil

I felt like we’d stepped back in time.

Leonard lived in an ancient looking farm house surrounded by pastures, vegetable gardens, a chicken coop, a tractor that looked older than the dirt he plowed with it, and a very dilapidated looking barn.

The inside of the house looked even older.

The only light came from the blazing fireplace and a few strategically placed oil lamps. The walls were bare, unpainted wooden planks, and most of the furniture looked like it was new about two hundred years ago. He did actually have electricity all the way out there. There was a big ass black and white console TV and an antique record player with a huge collection of record albums lining a bookshelf beside it.

Leonard sat in a rocking chair by the fireplace puffing away on a pipe full of sweet smelling tobacco.

“So, what brings ya all the way out here?”

“A couple of things, actually,” Lilith replied. “But first, why haven’t you been back to Hell in so long?”

“Yeah, it must be awfully fuckin’ boring around here.” Rash said.

“Boring? Ha! I don’t have time to be bored. There’s always work to be done on the farm.”

“But why are you playing Farmer Brown anyway?” I asked. “Not exactly your average hobby for a demon.”

Leonard puffed on his pipe for a moment, thinking.

“Why do I stay here workin’ this ol’ farm? Well, I guess that would be on account of Miss Sarah.”

He continued to puff on his pipe as if that had been all the explanation we needed.

“Okay, I give,” I said finally. “Who’s Miss Sarah?”

“Miss Sarah was just about the sweetest little lady you could ever hope to meet.”

He set the pipe down on the fireplace mantle and leaned back in his rocking chair.

“Miss Sarah was actually Mrs. Sarah Beckwith. She and her husband, Daniel, started this farm, cleared the land, built this house, in about 1792.”

Rash’s eyes popped as he scanned the walls.

“Holy shit! I can’t believe it’s still standing after that long!”

“It’s taken a lot of work to keep it that way, young man,” Leonard said with a hint of pride. “Anyhow, a rich man from town who owned a bunch of the land ’round here wanted this property fer himself. He kept makin’ offers, but Daniel wouldn’t sell. So the Rich Man started tryin’ to force ‘em out. He had their crops burned. He blocked the road with trees. He sent men to steal their horses and smash up their well. Finally, Daniel got in a fight with the man in town one day and never came home. They never found his body, but Sarah knew the Rich Man had had him killed. So, she summoned me.”

“Summoned you? What do you mean she summoned you?” Rash asked.

“She became a witch.” Batty answered.

“Not a witch like you’ve probably seen in movies and on television,” Leonard explained. “Anyone who has a demon helpin’ ‘em is a witch. It don’t have nothin’ to do with magic or anythin’.”

“Yeah. Technically, you could call Gabby a witch since Cas helps her and hangs out with her.” Lilith added.

“Well, as you can imagine, Miss Sarah was desperate, so she called on someone from Hell to avenge her husband. I answered. I took the Rich Man’s soul and the souls of the men he’d had kill Daniel, then I stayed to help her with the farm. I only meant to stay through the harvest that year, but I guess we just enjoyed each others company too much. I stayed through the winter and helped with the next years plantin’. Then I helped with that harvest, and so on. Miss Sarah and I lived in this little house together for forty-nine years. It was the happiest I’d been since leavin’ Heaven, everyday of it. I’d do the chores while she did the cookin’. She was one amazin’ cook too! And in the evenin’s I’d play the fiddle while Miss Sarah sang along.

“When she got old and frail, I cared for her. And after she died, well, I just couldn’t bear leavin’ and lettin’ the old place go to ruin or be sold. So, I’ve been here ever since.”

When he’d finished his story, Leonard sat there with glazed eyes and a faint smile, like he was still remembering Miss Sarah’s voice singing to him.

“You don’t ever plan to return to Hell, do you?” Lilith asked.

He shook his head.

“Darlin’, when you live in Hell, you have to find whatever little piece of Heaven you can and hold on to it,” He patted the arm of his rocking chair and scanned the room with wistful eyes. “This is my little piece of Heaven. I never want to leave it.”

“Well, that takes care of what Satan sent us here for. Now how about the slightly more pressing issue?” I asked Lilith a little impatiently.

She nodded.

“The other reason we’re here, Leonard, is we need your help finding someone. A Human girl. Cas’ friend.”

“Oho! So you’ve found yerself a Miss Sarah of yer own, have ya? Well, I’d be more than happy to help ya out then. Do ya have anything of hers? Maybe somethin’ she held on to not long ago?”

I thought hard.

Shit.

I didn’t bring anything of Gabby’s with me.

“Uh…”

“What about your phone?” Lilith asked. “Did Gabby give it to you?”

“Oh, yeah! She just gave it to me yesterday before we went to the club.”

I pulled the phone from my pocket.

“This may be a silly question,” Batty piped up. “But, have you tried calling her?”

Everybody looked at me.

“Um, no. I hadn’t thought of it.”

I hit the appropriate buttons to call Gabby and put the phone to my ear.

It rang for a while before going to her voice mail.

“No good. She’s not picking up.”

I handed the phone to Leonard who looked at it like he had no clue what it was.

Which he probably didn’t.

He felt it. He looked it all over. He held it up to his horse-like face and sniffed it.

Suddenly, Leonard got up from his chair and headed outside with Lilith, Batty, Rash and me following anxiously.

Leonard stood in the yard looking all around, sniffing in every direction, his nostrils flaring. Finally, he stopped and pointed a finger toward the north.

“There. I got her. Can’t tell exactly where, but it’s that way. Maybe a day’s drive.”

Well, that really narrows it down.

“You couldn’t be a little more specific, could you? She could be in danger. We need to find her quick.”

He scratched behind one ear for a second, thinking.

“I suppose I could drive ya. I can follow the scent right to her.”

“You have a vehicle?” Batty asked.

“Other than the old tractor, I hope.” I added.

Leonard walked over to the barn, swung open the front door, and switched on a light inside.

“I use this to go pick up supplies fer the farm. It’ll get us where we wanna go.”

Inside was a very beat up old 1963 Lincoln Town Car. The thing was big and boxy with a few stray pieces of hay on the seats and some loose chicken feed on the floor. But it would definitely hold all of us.

“Y’all look pretty tired. Why don’t ya sleep here tonight and we’ll leave first thing in the mornin’.”

I’d have rather left right away, but I was pretty exhausted. The flight to Egypt with Lilith had taken a lot out of me.

I shrugged and sighed.

“All right. As long as we get an early start.”

“This is a farm, Cas. You just better be able to get up as early as I do.” Leonard said with a pat on my shoulder.

Rash looked concerned.

“When you say ‘early’, you’re talkin’ like, what, nineish?”

Leonard chuckled.

“Son, by nine the best part of the day’s already passed,” he pulled out a pocket watch and checked it. “If we get to bed now, we’ll be plenty rested up for the trip. I’ll get y’all up at six after I do my mornin’ chores.”

Rash blanched.

“Six! That’s the middle of the night for me!”

“Heh heh,” I laughed at him. “Welcome to farm life, city boy.”

The Gateway

by Brian Johnpeer

read by Denton Hillen

At the Sacramento International Airport David checked in a half hour before his flight’s departure, and ordered a hot chocolate at a Java City hoping that the milk would help calm his nerves. Milk had always calmed his nerves. Every person who strolled by David reeked of sorrow, anxiety, or fear. For a moment he thought it may be his own aroma he had been inhaling, but after lifting his hands to cup his face and drawing in a deep breath, was convinced otherwise. Can one even reek of their feelings? He thought.
“No, of course they can’t,” as he answered his own thoughts out loud, and became aware of, through peripheral vision, that the old lady sitting next to him had taken notice in his one-sided conversation.
But dogs can smell fear, he thought.
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The follower of Jesus is known by his love—love for God and love for his neighbor.

If we refuse to warn the wicked to turn from his wicked way, we dare not claim to be God’s, for we are ashamed of His Words (Luke 9:26), and we prove by our self-serving silence that we do not love our neighbor as ourselves.

Or specifically, why I am not an apatheist.

I’m not exactly sure how long the term’s been in common usage (and you know how I feel about doing research), but I’d guess it’s only really taken off since atheism started becoming mainstream. For anyone not quite caught up, “apatheism” is a portmanteau of “apathy” and “theism” (or “atheism”, I suppose), and refers to people who profess not to care whether or not God exists.

Now, I don’t generally have many complaints with apatheists. I’ve been living with one for the better part of a year, and it’s a position which doesn’t naturally give rise to any sort of fundamentalist fervour, so generally we’re cool, apatheists and me. But I’ve decided lately that it’s not a position that I personally identify with.

It’s simple enough to sum up why.

A substantial number of the most popular conceptions of God throughout history and around the world – including probably the all-time numero uno himself – possess, we’re told, both the power and the authority to condemn each of us to eternal suffering, should he will it.

I’m a heroically lazy individual, but even I can’t muster up much apathy on the subject of my being condemned to eternal suffering.

Anyone who’s ever really believed in it can probably back me up on this: Hell is really fucking scary if you actually take it seriously. If I thought there was any remote possibility that I might be screwing things up the way I’m going at the moment, and risking sending myself there by worshipping the wrong god or rejecting the one true path to salvation, I’d want to seriously look into that. I don’t think I’d be able to simply shrug the problem off, or dismiss it as something not really relevant to my life. I’m pretty sure you’d have to be insane not to care about God’s possible existence, or the exact nature of his whims, if you thought that unending torture was genuinely on the cards.

But in general – my flatmate notwithstanding – those apatheists aren’t crazy. And so I don’t think it’s overly presumptuous to suggest that most apatheists do actually maintain some significant religious positions. They’d probably agree, if pushed, that they count their odds of being sent to Hell for eternal punishment after they die to be about as negligible as I do. And that’s not a trivial or careless conclusion; Hell is a culturally ubiquitous concept, described in the holy text of the predominant religion on the planet, held sacred by billions of people. It’s not an obvious nonsense to someone who’s never given the subject a moment’s thought.

So I think it makes sense to suggest that an actual disregard for the subject isn’t what most people mean when they call themselves apatheists. They may not have expended much effort in forming the opinions they have, but they’ve considered the matter far enough that it doesn’t need to trouble them any further. They’ve decided that the dire consequences often heralded by God’s self-appointed spokesmen are so unlikely that they can be ignored. Beyond that, who cares?

Well… still me, actually.

Obviously a great deal of the first bit does apply to me, too. I’ve rejected the possibility of God in any form that I might need to worry about, and don’t generally let the fiddly philosophical details bother me beyond that. But I still undoubtedly take an interest in much of the related discussion (my recent inactivity on this blog notwithstanding). I emphatically do give a shit, not so much about what can or can’t be conclusively disproved or vaguely hypothesised about some supreme being, but about the implications of people’s responses to the question “Is there a God?”

Clearly, there are battles here that I think are worth fighting, even if God himself isn’t my opponent. Religious fanaticism is one of the most damaging forces in today’s world, and I really think that a broader understanding of science, and skepticism, and humanism, and the kind of reality-based thinking that leads people to disbelieve in God, would be more beneficial to our species than just about anything else. While there are still people stoning witches to death, rationalising their own hate and prejudice as being that of an almighty creator, and telling millions of their followers that condoms are making the African AIDS crisis worse, I can’t be apathetic on this.

For those who can, it may be largely a case of picking your battles. Of the people in Africa not dying of AIDS, for instance, there are plenty of them busy starving to death instead. If you’re directly trying to combat famine by helping to feed people, then your faith or that of your colleagues probably isn’t much of an issue, and whether or not someone’s wearing a crucifix in a hospital in Kansas might not seem all that pertinent.

I can’t possibly tell what’s the most useful thing for me to be doing, on those fleeting occasions when I give some thought to the notion of doing something good. But this is something I can do. It feels like my fight. It ain’t nothin’. So there’s really not much about the question of God’s existence that I truly don’t care about.